#thank you to NOT ME for choosing the most annoying piece of furniture to assemble

[telltheworld-phff]

Chapter 39: Privileged child

“Are you nearly done?” he groaned annoyed pushing her giant cart at IKEA.

“Nope. And why are you so moody this morning?” she asked him searching the things she had chosen to buy when she looked at the store’s website.

“Because I didn’t know no one here wouldn’t help us.” he answered.

“Oh… poor privileged child. Even I that just got here knew that one should look alone for the things inside the store and that we get just a bit of help from them. Come on, I still have to find a bed and a couch.” she said pushing him slightly and seeing the pile of things that were inside the cart and the seeing that her list was still big.

She had started with the living room, placing an order for a couch (and then changing her mind three times later) and a rug that would be delivered later. She bought cushions, lamps, side tables and more shelves to store her book collection her mom would send her. She bought some things for decorations, curtains for all the windows and a TV unity. It all came disassembled and in cardboard boxes. She then bought bathroom things she needed, a new mirror, a bath curtain and rugs and storage things.

But what bothered Harry the most is that she spent lots of time looking at all the options and then narrowing them to what fit in the space she had and in the budget she brought to buy all those things. And when she finally found something that would both fit and be affordable, she spent another half hour choosing between the color options the store offered.

“What do you think is best?” she asked him at some point. “Ash, charcoal or dark gray for the sofa’s fabric?” she lifted the samples so he could see them.

“Is there any difference between those colors?” he scratched his head. “I mean… they’re all gray and you’re getting a gray sofa.”

She took a deep breath and shook her head.

“You’re not helping, Henry. These are different colors and the sofa is the most important thing in a living room. So you should start helping me if you want to go home soon.” she said looking at him.

“So, go with the grayer gray. The darkest one.” he said smugly.

“Are you sure? You really thought this through?” she was suspicious.

“Yes. 100% sure.”

“Well… too bad I’ll go with another tone for the sofa because you clearly couldn’t choose a dark color with the other things I bought for the living room.” she rolled her eyes and disappeared on another aisle to find other colors for the same sofa she wanted to buy.

“Oh fuck me.” he whispered pushing the cart and following her.

(…)

“I think a single bed is enough.” Carol said after they had stopped for lunch and after she chose the color to paint her bedroom.

“Single bed? Why are you getting a single bed?” Harry asked confused.

“Because I probably already spent more than I should and because it’s enough.”

“Well… I’m going to be in pain after sleeping with you on a single bed. You keep moving the whole night.”

She almost closed her eyes looking at him.

“What makes you think you’d be sleeping on my bed?” she crossed her arms.

“Well… I’ll take my chances and my charm.” he shrugged smugly.

“You’re not sleeping on my bed, Henry.” she answered walking away from him to look at the options the store had.

“Well… we both know that’s a lie. So you better save money on painkillers and buy a bigger bed that’d fit us both.” he said hugging her for behind and kissing the spot behind her neck.

“Henry” she hissed. “We’re in public. Stop it!” she said but not really making an effort to get out of his hold.

“No one’s in this aisle. Relax a bit.” he said kissing it again and lingering his lips in there before letting go.

They spent hours inside the store but Carol bought everything she’d need for this new start. Some things would be delivered later and other things she and Harry took home inside the minivan he was driving today. She didn’t ask how he got a minivan, she just went with the flow. It took them long minutes to load and unload the car, and then get all the heavy and big boxes to her flat. They were both out of breath and tired, and Harry had grown even more grumpy after all the work.

“Do you know how to assemble things?” she asked him after she fixed them a sandwich in the afternoon.

“Well… never had to before, but it’s not that hard. Is it?” he said looking at her.

“Do you think so?” she was looking at all the boxes distrustfully.

“I asked Bill for a tools box and he gave me one. I think everything we need is to sort the pieces, get the instruction manual and go with the flow.”

“Ok. So let’s get to work, mister. Start with the bedroom’s furniture while I clean the kitchen.” she said smiling at him.

“You’re lucky I like you, because your bossy manner is infuriating sometimes.”

“Stop sulking Henry. We’ve got lots to do. Now you go...” she said pinching his cheeks.

Harry had brought a change of clothes and before he started assembling things, he painted her bedroom and it was faster than what she was expecting it to be. And while the walls dried, they started to open the boxes and sort the things inside of it to make the process go faster.

What Harry didn’t know was that assembling furniture was a bit harder than he thought. It took them a few mistakes to put every piece on it’s right side and when they both realized the time, it was already the middle of the night. They had assembled her bed, the side tables, her chest of drawers and the table where she’d put her girly things on. Carol spread the rugs and hung the curtains she had bought.

“Do you want to put together the living room?” he asked clearly tired but still trying to be a gentleman.

“I guess we’ve done enough for today. We better go sleep and come back tomorrow.” she said yawning.

“Oh thank Heavens.” he said.

“I can’t say thank you enough for this, Henry.” she looked at him.

“You don’t have to thank me for anything, darling. Come on, I’m going to drive you to Hailey’s and go rest.” he said dressing his heavy coat and helping her with hers.

Carol spent the whole ride looking at him. Even though she often forgot, mostly because he always made her do, he was a prince. And even then, he’d spent half of his day inside a store with her, he had eaten a sandwich for a snack, and he spent more than he needed to helping her to put her home together. He’d be always willing to walk the extra mile for her. Either surprising her with amazing trips, either with phone calls or text messages in the middle of the night, or when he’d simply be by her side and making it look like he had nothing else to do, when she knew he had. But he 100% showed her that there were nowhere else he’d rather be than by her side. It all helped Carol’s heart warm up a bit that maybe, just maybe this might work. She said goodnight to him and got out of his car. When she was getting ready to go to bed she couldn't help but wish she’d be sleeping in his arms. And she knew he was just a phone call away. But it wasn’t fair to him to lit up a flame of hope she wasn’t sure she was able to keep on.

A/N: Our last chapter before Christmas. 

And I want to thank each and everyone of you who read this history and that supports me through it all. To those of you who comment and give me ideas (Bruna and Vania, you both rock while helping me get out of my writer’s block) and to those of you who don’t. Please, comment, let me know what you think, what you like and mostly what you don’t like. 

I really hope you guys have an extraordinaire Merry Christmas. See you all next Wednesday with our last chapter of the Year. 

xoxo

#royalfanficcentral #royalfanficcollection #phff #prince harry fanfic #british royal family #brf #fanfic #fanfiction #royal fanfic #when you tell the world you're mine #chapter: 39

[austinpanda]

Dad Letter 042620

6 April, 2020

Dear Dad--

I am pleased to report yet another week of not dying from the coronavirus! This trailer is beginning to feel more and more like a submarine, though. I’m taking lots of pictures through the windows, mostly of birds. Now that we’re feeding the birds some good bird seed (found some primo shit at the grocery store!) it’s summoning all the avians to our yard. We’ve seen so many kinds of birds we’ve never seen before that, on the advice of an internet friend, I purchased a Maine guide to birds. It’s this laminated, fold-out thing that shows the hundred or so most common birds in Maine. Here’s what we’ve had show up to visit so far, along with a brief description of the good qualities/things that annoy me about each one. 

Common grackle - Big. Black. Iridescent blue heads. I assume their large blackness causes discomfort in more privileged, lighter-hued birds.

American goldfinch - My favorite so far! They’re kind of small birds, could fit in your cupped hand, but they’re such a bright yellow, they almost seem fluorescent. We call them highlighter birds. Really gorgeous.

Brown-headed cowbird - Black birds with brown heads. They do not, as their name suggests, summon cows, or resemble cows. 

Downy woodpeckers - These are black and white woodpeckers with little red hats on. We have some food out just for them, and they seem to have discovered it finally. 

Mourning doves - Basically, brown pigeons. They make a “who-who-who” sound that could be mistaken for an owl hooting. These are those beatnik birds I mentioned a few letters ago that make minimal-effort, shitty-looking nests. 

Gray bird X - This is something we’ve been unable to identify, because you can only really describe it as a small, grayish bird with bits that are slightly darker gray. Might take a while to identify this one. 

We know that, as the weeks progress, and things warm up, we’re going to start getting some new and different visitors, and (at least until the pandemic is over) I’m going to try to photograph and identify everything that comes by, birds, butterflies, other critters. Also I got a Maine guide to flowers and trees, and another for wildlife. Apparently black bears and humpback whales call Maine home. Thanks to the black bears, I’ve already seen information on the internet saying that we need to keep bird feeders, including hummingbird feeders, out of sight, because they attract the bears. At the risk of tempting the hubris gods, I choose to believe that this is bullshit. I believe a black bear might decide to stroll by my trailer some day, but if it does, I don’t believe it will be because of the sugar water in my hummingbird feeder calling out to the bear, like the mythical sirens, luring the bear into drinking my hummingbird water and then killing everything in sight because of the resulting sugar high. Now I’m probably going to end up in a news story about a local hummingbird enthusiast who’s trailer got raped by a bear. 

If I’m deriving that much excitement just from our bird feeder, you can tell that even I am starting to get a little stir crazy. I didn’t do much partying or socializing before the pandemic, but I did SOME, dammit. I’ve now made several good friends in this area, and I can’t visit or spend time with any of them, because we’re all making sure we don’t become disease vectors. No one wants to visit harm on a new friend before one’s even had a chance to visit his home and belittle his cooking, and his interior design decisions behind his back. Plus, there’s always the chance that the new friend can actually cook well, and has a cool house, that even a misanthrope could be comfortable in. We really don’t ever leave the house unless it’s to get food or other consumables. Life with the Andromeda Strain!

Zach got some little starter pots, so we’re starting some of our seeds sprouting for our garden. The pots are the kind that you can plant directly into the ground; they’re made of coconut husk and break down once you bury them, and the plant roots just grow right through them. The first things to sprout have been catnip and tomatoes. The way in which the kitty responded to the packet of catnip seeds was something to behold, because he began vigorously flopping and spasming around the seed packet, trying to hold it in his claws while mashing his face into it, trying to chew the packet open. I think kitty may have a nascent substance abuse problem! I suppose we’ll know more after we’ve had a chance to grow some of the catnip to maturity and let the kitty play with it. I think my kitty secretly wants to be Dennis Hopper.

I think I mentioned in my last letter that I had purchased a popcorn machine. One of the obstacles I faced in purchasing it was the shame in knowing that I spent actual money on something frivolous and fun, while I’m not working, simply because I’ve always dreamed of having a house that smelled like a movie theater, and because the government gave me $1200. Well, I decided to spend the $69 and order it. When it arrived, I assembled it, put in some vegetable oil, and some popcorn kernels I’d got at the store, and made a batch of popcorn. The act of making the popcorn is supremely enjoyable. It starts exploding in the kettle, and forcing its way up through the lid, with all the steam and noise, until it’s done, and you bring the little slot-machine arm down to rotate the kettle and dump its contents. There’s a light inside that might keep the popcorn warm if it were meant to, but this is just a very small light for illumination. 

The popcorn tasted like shit! This was only because plain white popcorn with nothing on it is bland as fuck. Two days later, the little popcorn machine packets arrived in the mail! These are little packets of pre-measured popcorn kernels, with popcorn salt, in one portion of the packet, and yellow popcorn oil in the other part. When you pop one of these guys, you achieve popcorn perfection. It smells just like a movie theater. The popcorn has flavor, and that yellow and white appearance. It gives me a sense that my desire to own things has drawn to a close, because I now own everything my stuff-craving heart ever wanted. Did the seventy-dollar popcorn machine actually improve, and give so much meaning to, my whole life? Yes. Yes, it did, goddammit. In two days I have made popcorn nine times, and I haven’t even tried putting butter on it yet. And I can’t stress this enough: you know how a smell can trigger the strongest emotions and memories? The smell of my house after making popcorn in the machine just does something to me. I’m back in the (bear with me here) magical place where the movies happen and the popcorn is really expensive, but so much more delicious than the stuff I make at home in the microwave. I think the only thing that could improve the experience is if I found some of the same artificial butter-flavored grease they use in theaters to butter your popcorn. Thankfully, the internet makes it easy to find this product.

So that’s my life over the past week! Birds, gardening, and popcorn. I did some sit-ups yesterday, and I’ll be attempting a few more today! (I thought it might be easy to do sit-ups in the living room if I stuck my feet under a particular piece of furniture, and dangit, I was right.) I’ll include a pic of the popcorn machine. It’s actually quite small, and plastic, and the wheels are decorative, but fuggit, it works wonderfully. If I ever become rich, I’m buying one for every home in America, at least if the movie theaters are still closed. 

To sum up everything, I am well. Zach and the kitty are well. I’m still concerned about the stupid coronavirus, but I’m not too concerned. I’m still scared about having to start my new job, whenever that happens, but I’m not too scared. I’ll get past the first-day nervousness and start working at the new job whenever I’m required to, and I’m sure I’ll do it well. We’re keeping the bills paid. We’re even enjoying life every now and then, and that’s most everything I require out of this existence. I hope you two are safe and sound, and all my love to you both!