Since you have a strong opinion about that Scriptorium scene, here's mine: by refusing to cast Crucio, Ominis makes it so that Sebastian or MC has to do it - and subject themselves to the same shattering experience of having to mean another's pain that Ominis is so ashamed of. By this logic, it would be better if he casted it, sparing his friends from the guilt same to his own. Thoughts?
This is an interesting way to look at it too actually! It can be argued that for either the MC or Sebastian to mean it when they cast it, it was out of desperation so they wouldn't end up all dead inside the Scriptorium.
I think the difference (which could also be just up to the writing in the scene and probably other more important things in game that they wanted to focus on) between Ominis and Sebastian in this is that Sebastian doesn't seem to feel much guilt after doing it; yes he did it to get everyone out of the Scriptorium, but more than anything he wants to find that book- while the MC is in agony he asks if they're okay- but that's it. We never get to see him say sorry, or say he wish he didn't have to hurt them. Even if hearing both of them ask the MC if they're okay, Ominis sounds much more scared, worried, etc.
Not to say Sebastian wouldn't feel any guilt, just that- he has a one track mind at this point; he's got tunnel vision for a cure and everything sort of... Pales in comparison. Sebastian doesn't express or feel as much guilt as Ominis still does, so he would be the least affected in the end by using the curse (or the MC.)
I also think it's worth thinking about this too: if Ominis did agree he would cast it, could he have even done it? Ominis is so traumatized and guilt-ridden of his use of the curse to stop his family from using it on him anymore that it has shaped a lot of him; his disdain for dark magic, his hatred for the idea of Sebastian using it or dabbling with it. Ominis knows they will die there like his aunt if no one uses it, but that doesn't stop him from refusing to do it; I honestly believe Ominis wouldn't have been able to use the curse again, he wouldn't mean it enough to have it work. Even if using it might spare his friends the same guilt (which Sebastian, like I mentioned and the MC don't seem to share over their use of the curse. Again, could be because of writing, etc.)
Ominis is so vehemently against using it (and his friends using it) that he won't do it; but I think he knows he can't stop them. And I also think, in those moments- he was probably trying to block everything away and not think about it (I mean his aunt is dead in there, his friends are discussing using an unforgivable, and he's the one who showed them where to go to get to the Scriptorium; he's probably not in the best spot mentally here.)
I see Sebastian's POV though on the "Ominis knows how, Ominis should," because it is true Ominis does know- but it all comes back to "could Ominis even do it; could he mean it enough to hurt Sebastian or the MC considering he knows the consequences of not doing it, and still refuses?"
tysm for this ask tho i love talkin about this stuff and thinkin about it.
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TASK #04: PLAYLIST
the revenant, a gilbert orquídeas playlist.
PARTICLES | NOTHING BUT THIEVES. “oh, doctor, please. this don’t feel right. oh, can you give me something to get me through the night? oh, if it all falls apart and if this thing goes wrong, oh put me back together however you want.” // “my mind plays tricks. and i don’t sleep no more. and doctor, please. I can’t switch off.”
DON’T CRY FOR ME | STORMZY, RALEIGH RITCHIE. “in case you think i’ve changed and i’m different, i’m not keeping you at a distance. so have a thought for me, yeah. hold down this floor for me, yeah.” // “remember the time before things changed? back in the day. everything can stay the same. remember i came? remember my name? remember my face? i don’t wanna fade away.”
HANDS TIED | BILLY LOCKETT. “but wait, wait a minute. for a second i lost myself. for a second i lost my whole life” // “and i have days where i know i can't climb but i’ll survive, ‘cause you taught me that i fall in love far too easily.”
HOSTAGES | THE HOWL & THE HUM. “so meet me on the bridge, we’ll hand over our hostages. a fake silver ring, your books in foreign languages. you can keep the coat, it looks better on you. anyway, i’m fine, i guess the cold’s a state of mind.” // “and it wasn’t like you liked me for my sunny views on life. oh, i’m dead on the inside, babe i’ve known that all along. any time i tried to love you i got it wrong.”
ANGEL IN LOTHIAN | SAM FENDER. “back then the door was always open, i’d come and go, back and forth, anytime i need. but i’m needing it more now than ever, as i’m fading away. and i’d claw at the door every bad night, but somehow it’s blocked from the other side. claw till my skin falls apart. until i feel something.” // “and my brother was spiralling down, he said, ‘kid, it’s not me, it’s this town’.”
RED EARTH & POURING RAIN | BEAR’S DEN. “i was waiting for a call. a call never came, so i made my own way, and i can’t find my way back home again.” // “can’t you hear me calling out your name? i’ve got something burning, coursing through these cold veins. in the words we speak, babe, somehow i get lost in between when to suffer in silence or to break it all with each breath that we breathe.”
FUEL ON THE FIRE | BEAR’S DEN. “was it all in my mind? was i lost in my own head? worried about something i regret. is there anything i don’t regret?” // “fuel on the fire, now i’m burning up. fuel on the fire, i won’t let it stop. fuel on the fire, remembering how to love.”
AULD WIVES | BEAR’S DEN. “but i swam across the ocean to find your memory, a trace of all that you have left behind. and the auld wives swore that you were born to die without a child to call out your name. but i call your name.”
LAST TO MAKE IT HOME | SAM FENDER. “i’m godless and wrecked, but i can’t live by those stakes. the semantics are totally outdated. and the love i had is never enough. it bores me and leaves me frustrated.” // “i’m the last to make it home. i’m the last to call it off. i’m the last to meet my bed. and last to bring home the bread. and last to make it home.”
DEW ON THE VINE | BEAR’S DEN. “born to break or to last, is it all in the past? is that a scar or a birthmark? retracing this cold heart, and now i’m all out of thread, and i don’t want to die here.” // “keep chasing echoes of my mind, babe it’s a fine line, and i’m so far over it. and i know it. beneath it all i’m still broken, cut me out, cut it open.”
SPENT GLADIATOR 2 | THE MOUNTAIN GOATS. “like a spent gladiator, crawling in the colosseum dust, who can count on his remaining limbs all the people he can trust.” // “stay alive. maybe spit some blood at the camera. just stay alive.”
GABRIEL | BEAR’S DEN. “is this all i am? all i ever was? all that he has won is all that i have lost. won’t you hear me out, gabriel? can’t you see the shape i’m in? just don’t leave me alone.” // “it’s a part of me, gabriel, i wish i could deny. the face that i can barely recognise. he lives inside me everyday of my life, and i can hear him, screaming in the night.”
WORK SONG | HOZIER. “when my time comes around, lay me gently in the cold dark earth. no grave can hold my body down. i’ll crawl home to her.”
PUNISHER | PHOEBE BRIDGERS. “the drugstores are open all night, the only real reason i moved to the east side. i love a good place to hide in plain sight.” // “i swear i’m not angry, that’s just my face. a copycat killer with a chemical cut. either i’m careless or i wanna get caught.”
CONVERSATIONS WITH GHOSTS | BEAR’S DEN. “you needn’t be a chamber to house all the echoes and voices of those that have left you. are you talking to me or somebody that you once knew, passing through?”
SIX BILLION | NOTHING BUT THIEVES. “sometimes the cord likes to break. sometimes the light tries to bend away. sometimes you’re thrust against the wall. sometimes the world wants to see you crawl.”
THE ARCHER | TAYLOR SWIFT. “they see right through me, i see right through me. all the king’s horses and all the king’s men couldn’t put me together again, cause all of my enemies started out friends.” // “i wake in the night, i pace like a ghost. the room is on fire, invisible smoke. and all of my heroes die all alone, help me hold onto you.”
LONGHOPE | BEAR’S DEN. “whispering, ‘please, don’t forget me’. my thoughts are all strangling, the words are all dangling before my eyes, but it’s getting so dark in here. i can’t really see anything clear. i’m just feeling my way through the winter night.”
IT WILL COME BACK | HOZIER. “don’t let me in with no intention to keep me, jesus christ. don’t be kind to me. honey, don’t feed me, i will come back.”
SEEN A GHOST | OLD SEA BRIGADE. “somewhere in my private screening i could hear a shadow screaming - you look like you’ve seen a ghost. kicking your mind back to someone you used to know. kicking your mind back to places i can’t go.”
HEEL TURN 2 | THE MOUNTAIN GOATS. “drift down into the new, dark light without any reservations. you found my breaking point - congratulations. spent too much of my life now trying to play fair. throw my better self overboard, shoot at him when he comes up for air. come unhinged, get revenge, i don’t want to die in here.” // “let all the trash rain down from way up in the rafters. i’m walking out of here in one piece, i don’t care what comes after. drive the wedge, torch the bridge. i don’t want to die in here.”
COVERED IN CHAOS | BILLY LOCKETT. “and i know i’ve been messing up lately, living on no sleep, barely alive. i’m covered in chaos, waking up nightly without you. and I’m fading deeper, losing hold of control.” // “and i’ve been kept straight by your hand, but now i’m gasoline, starting fired and washing sand with sea.”
THE PUGILIST | KEATON HENSON. “to remind me i’m living and that i still need it. you pulled me together with blood and soft stitches.” // “and i’m frightened to death you’ll forget me. don’t forget me. don’t forget me. don’t forget me.”
HYPERSONIC MISSILES | SAM FENDER. “when the bombs drop, darling, can you say that you’ve lived your life? oh, this is a high time for hypersonic missiles.” // “they say i’m a nihilist cause i can’t see any decent rhyme or reason for the life of you and me. but i believe in what i’m feeling, and i’m falling for you. this world is gonna end but till then, i’ll give you everything i have.”
MOTION SICKNESS | PHOEBE BRIDGERS. “i have emotional motion sickness. somebody roll the windows down. there are no words in the english language i could scream to drown you out.”
BLANKETS OF SORROW | BEAR’S DEN. “paralysed, your stubborn mind can’t see the woods behind the blankets of sorrow. no one could ever reach or pull you out. you’re sleeping as the sleet just falls, to crystalize your crimson thoughts. no more i’m sorry's. no, i’m not sorry anymore.” // “you’re praying on a driving snow (is that what you want?) to sail you back, to take you back home (don’t shut me out again). the bitter cold or the frost unknown. do i try or comply?”
SMOKE SIGNALS | PHOEBE BRIDGERS. “you. you must have been looking for me. sending smoke signals, pelicans circling.” // “i’m sleeping in my bed again, and getting in my head and then, walk around the reservoir.”
EVERMORE | TAYLOR SWIFT, BON IVER. “hey december, guess i’m feeling unmoored. can’t remember what i used to fight for. i rewind the tape but all it does it pause on the very moment all was lost.” // “and i was catching my breath, barefoot in the wildest winter catching my death. and i couldn’t be sure. i had a feeling so peculiar that this pain would be for evermore.”
MY TEARS RICOCHET | TAYLOR SWIFT. “i didn’t have it in myself to go with grace. you had to kill me but it killed you just the same. cursing my name, wishing i stayed, you turned into your worst fears, and you’re tossing out blame, drunk on this pain, crossing out the good years. look at how my tears ricochet.” // “if i’m on fire, you’ll be made out of ashes too. even on my worst day, did i deserve babe, all the hell you gave me? cause i loved you, i swear i loved you, till my dying day.”
THE STAR OF BETHNAL GREEN | BEAR’S DEN. “and lord, i’m alive. and maybe the star of bethnal green could lead us back to bethlehem. lord, i have tried.”
THE DYING LIGHT | SAM FENDER. “maybe i could use a hand. i must admit i’m out of bright ideas to keep the hell at bay. distractions only last a day. the night is so impossible, it haunts the few who dare to look. it’s marks are so hereditary. i’m terrified of having kids.” // “but i’m damned if i give up tonight. i must repel the dying light. for mom and dad and all my pals, for all the ones who didn’t make the night.”
SPIDERS | BEAR’S DEN. “your promises, they escape you. what’s another burden on the back of this beast? i can’t take back all the hurt i’ve caused. everything i love i have somehow lost. and it’s four in the morning and the spiders are crawling in my mind. replaying pictures of all that i can’t undo.”
BLUE HOURS | BEAR’S DEN. “if i could just break through the glass, if it shatters in my hands then it shatters in my hands. it’s a risk i’m willing to take.” // “why’d you answer in questions whenever i ask you why? don’t act like you’re so hard to find. i know where you hide. why won’t you just stay with me, why do you lie? why’s there always something keeping you up at night?”
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