#talking about a nonexistent robotic platypus

[woulddieforperrytheplatypus]

Gosh I need a distraction rn so here's some Ralph headcanons; Buford taught him how to Fortnite dance, and has a life sized mold of him too. Ralph dabbed once and only Baljeet witnessed it; legend says it inspired Dabjeet. Isabella gave him one of her bows. Candace actually thinks Ralph is chill but good luck getting her to admit it. And Phineas and Ferb always try to introduce Ralph to their parents, but he goes home to his underground shelter each time they bring them out. I hope ye enjoyed <3

Me: I should go to bed so I don’t die on my early class tomorrow You: Ralph -- Me: R A L P H !  (if you have not been blessed by Ralph’s existence yet, go look and then think of some Ralph headcanons for us 🥺)

I am very interested in what the kids think Ralph is like. I’m getting mixed vibes about whether they built Ralph as a mindless pet and he’s just Super Poggers like Perry because Reasons™, or if they know he’s Super Poggers and they did that on purpose, and here is why:

Only Baljeet was able to see him dab, and yet Buford taught him entire Fortnite dances? Did everyone else miss Ralph’s dab out of sheer misfortune, or was it calculated to be a sneaky dab so none of the kids would know he’s capable of dabbing? Or was it calculated just carefully enough that Baljeet would insist he saw the dab, but no one else would see it so they wouldn’t believe it, claiming Ralph is either too classy for a dab you’re never too classy to dab, or that he wouldn’t know what a dab is? 

I don’t know if this is supposed to imply a Buford/Ralph bromance, but I choose to think it is and I am living for it. Buford never seemed to care too much about Perry (that line about wanting to bounce Perry around like a platyball in notlp comes to mind) so I love that he took one look at Ralph and he was like “yes, this is my platybot now. I love him and he is my new best friend.” Also, headcanon that Ralph and Perry have the exact same body shape so the two molds are exactly the same but Buford insisted on making Ralph his own mold anyway. Imagine seeing all this talk about Buford’s life-sized molds of all his friends without knowing that he canonically has life-sized molds of all his friends fjskdhfkjas

My new headcanon (which is basically combining your last two) is that Ralph is the only invention Candace doesn’t try to bust the boys for. She hAtEs ThAt PlAtYbOt but she refuses to risk anything happening to him because he is a baby and he doESN’T DESERVE THAT GOD DAMMIT also headcanon that if she actually did try to bust them for it, Ralph would be the only invention she would be able to show her mom

#i should be reading my textbook before class tomorrow #or i should be sleeping so i don't fall asleep in class tomorrow #and instead i am on tumblr #talking about a nonexistent robotic platypus #and if that is not the perfect summary of my life idk what is #ralph the platybot #pnf #look i have an ask