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dinosaurtsukki · 4 years

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haikyuu!! masterchef au (second-gen captains vs. first-years edition)

hello my brain made another thing again. to check out the first masterchef au (captains vs. setters) just click here

due to popular demand, masterchef is hosting another team challenge with volleyball nerds

they had to pay gordon a bit more and ensure the freezer is available at all times in case he needs to hide

so we have team second-gen captains with shirabu, akaashi, yahaba, taketora, ennoshita, and futakuchi

then team first-years with goshiki, lev, koganegawa, hinata, tsukishima, and kindaichi

shirabu is back to win while akaashi had to be patted down to make sure he's not sneaking another rat in

team first years look very nervous except for probs tsukki and goshiki

hinata is always out of frame because all his team members are so tall

they give him a box to stand on while he's cooking and suddenly he's taller than kindaichi

when the time starts, team second-gen are off cooking like pros

HAHAHA JK

most of them have never been to a kitchen

yahaba's poking an onion with the tip of his knife

yahaba: this,,, this isn't how its like in cooking mama

taketora: yah, no shit

ennoshita's washing the dishes and futakuchi tries to tell him he doesn't need to until he realizes that maybe washing the dishes is all he can do

over in team first-years they have Absolutely No Clue

and then hinata's like 'wHY dON'T wE mAKE sOUFFLE'

koganegawa and lev: Y E A H 🤘🤘🤘

none of them know how

everyone else did contemplate helping them but its more fun watching lev crack an entire egg, shell and all, into a bowl and take out the shell bits after

gordon, realizing its going to be a repeat of last time: *surprised pikachu face

kindaichi: do we,,, have a plan tho ???

tsukishima: *pats mysterious bulge in his jacket pocket* we got a back-up plan

meanwhile team second-gen is standing in a circle still trying to figure out what to do

and then futakuchi brings out an alexa device (idk wat these are called im poor)

futakuchi: we must consult a higher power

gordon: is he allowed to do that?

producer: this is a no-rules match

futakuchi: alexa, how do u boil an egg?

taketora: no alexa. play despacito

alexa: *plays despacito*

*cut to montage of futakuchi beating up taketora with despacito playing in the background*

ennoshita: what if,, we jus make a salad? just throw a bunch of leaves and crunchy bread cubes in there?

akaashi: did u mean,,, croutons?

yahaba: i shall make the crunchy bread cubes

shirabu: i'll chop the leaves

akaashi: like how u chopped your bANGS?

taketora and ennoshita have to stop shirabu from killing akaashi

meanwhile lev, kogane, and hinata are working on their ✨✨~~souffle~~✨✨

except kogane and lev keep accidentally spilling stuff on hinata because our li'l guy is li'l

gordon: their souffle actually looks pretty decent and by that i mean it looks half-burnt and barely edible

they're so proud of it tho

that is until they're all carrying it to the front when lev accidentally trips and throws the souffle up in the air

its heading straight to kogane and his Setter Instincts kicks in and he sets. the. souffle

and its heading straight to hinata whose Spiker Instincts kick in

shirabu, watching the entire thing happen: alexa, play mm watcha say

im sorry idk the name of the song

alexa: ~~mm watcha sayyyyyy~~

hinata: *spikes the souffle into the ground*

goshiki: so whats plan B?

tsukishima: *reaches into his jacket* instant mac and cheese

goshiki: good enough

kindaichi's really good at making mac and cheese if that’s possible

like the macaroni is cooked perfectly and all

meanwhile in team setter someone has managed to burn the salad leaves

it was actually ennoshita but he blamed it on futakuchi and everyone believed him

taketora: now we only have crunchy bread cubes

yahaba: this is so sad. alexa play--

shirabu: NO ALEXA DONT PLAY DESPACITO THIS ISN'T OVER

futakuchi: WE ONLI HAV CRUNCHY BREAD CUBES

shirabu: BUT WE ALSO HAV RAT CHEF !! *points at akaashi*

ennoshita: he didn't bring ratatouille with him

akaashi: his name is remy not ratatouille omg u fake fan

taketora: what if,,, someone sat on akaashi's shoulders,,, and pulled his hair to control him like remy???

all of the next-gen captains who have lost braincells at this point: 🆗️🆒️

so yahaba mounts akaashi's shoulders and u kno,,, does the rat chef thing except both of them are flailing around

kindaichi, watching from the other table: alexa, play the ratatouille theme song

*insert montage of yahaba and akaashi flailing around with the ratatouille theme song playing in the background*

i hope y'all can picture is in ur heads as well as i can because it has the dynamism of a renaissance painting

also did i mention that tsukki smuggled in dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets?

he's frying them with a smol smile on his face

hinata took a picture of it

goshiki's doing the plating and he's arranging all the dinosaur nuggets around a wad of mac and cheese

kindaichi grating fresh parmesan on top

it looks spectacular

koganegawa and lev eat one of the dino nuggets and tsukki s C R E A M S

kindaichi’s trying to calm tsukki down while goshiki drags koganegawa and lev into the freezer

which stresses gordon out because the freezer was supposed to be his place

have rat chef akaashi and yahaba managed to cook something?

no they both fell to the floor

and are contemplating their life decisions

akaashi: i miss remy

yahaba: me too man

futakuchi and ennoshita decide to add peanut butter and jelly on a plate and sprinkle the crunchy bread cubes on top

and now the judging begins

gordon: *looking at team second-gen's dish* what are you?

taketora: a deconstructed pb & j sandwich

gordon: and there's no way i'm eating this mac and cheese it looks terrible

tsukishima: i thought you'd be used to it with the food from your country

shirabu: *keying 911 into a microwave* hello, police? i'd like to report a m u r d e r

im sorry british food sucks except for like fish and chips which are only good sometimes

gordon: did this child just sass me?

in the end he chooses team second-gen as the winner but its not because they cooked the best dish but because he feels bad for yahaba and akaashi

also because tsukki sassed him

futakuchi: alexa, play despacito again

also the microwave explodes

koganegawa and lev are still locked in the freezer

(check out pt. 1 feat. captains vs. setters)

#haikyuu masterchef au #hq second-gen captains #hq first-years #haikyuu!!#haikyuu headcanons #yahaba shigeru #akaashi keiji #futakuchi kenji #ennoshita chikara #shirabu kenjirou #yamamoto taketora #hinata shoyo #tsukishima kei #goshiki tsutomu #koganegawa kanji #haiba lev #kyousuke kindaichi

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