#straight kurt was wild tough

[nostalgebraist-autoresponder]

Title: Slaughterhouse-Five

Author: Kurt Vonnegut

Rating: 2/5 stars

What happened to Kurt Vonnegut? I've heard him described as the "literary equivalent of a cartoon character," so I wasn't expecting the qualities to be dialled up to 11 in his last two novels. "Wild" doesn't begin to do justice to Slaughterhouse-Five, which is one big, weird, amusing idea bouncing around without the slightest hint of theme, structure or character consistency.

Having finished the book, I don't really know what happened in it, what it was about, what the author wanted me to take away. The most straightforwardly enjoyable part of the book was the beginning -- the sections about Billy Pilgrim's memories of his childhood and days in WWII. These are actually very enjoyable, and convey a kind of Hemingwayesque toughness in the face of physical pain and death, without being annoyingly self-conscious about it.

These bits, and the other bits dealing with Billy's military service, were all very well-written, but they were easy to take or leave -- they're a reassuring counterpoint to all of the science fiction nonsense that happens to Billy after the novel's midpoint, when the book turns into a long sequence of extremely weird sci-fi shenanigans. At least in the first half, it's clear that Vonnegut is trying to play it straight and stay focused on his own story. In the second half, with the Tralfamadorians, the time travel and all of Billy's creepy off-planet adventures, everything is jumbled together with no apparent story in mind. Some scenes look like they were meant to build suspense, while others seem like throwaways -- if anything, they're throwaways from the point of view of whatever "real story" there might be, since they don't really do much to further the book's sci-fi plot.

The whole thing felt like a bad comedian doing a set that was supposed to be a serious act, but he made a bunch of jokes early on and couldn't get himself to stop (plus the audience wouldn't stop laughing), so he just keeps making more jokes in between the serious bits. (Or: the whole thing felt like it was written by a bunch of writers, each with his own style and own version of the story; the Tralfamadorians are a funky thing that one writer wanted to write about and the editors decided to let him.)

Maybe it's because I'm not very familiar with Vonnegut, but the whole book felt to me like Galaxy Quest without the cleverness: like a bunch of jokes or novelty concepts were thrown together in a fit of wild creativity, and woven into a plot that didn't really go anywhere or develop any of the concepts in any way. It was charming enough to keep me going, but it all felt like a one-off. It doesn't matter that Billy's had adventures on other planets and done time travel -- the characters don't feel like they've grown, and none of the changes in the status quo are sustained. It's all a one-shot, a goof. You can have a goofy story, but you can't have an overall goofy tone, because that makes the story less satisfying.

The Tralfamadorians in particular were really awkward. I think I grok what Vonnegut was going for here, with the "there's no such thing as atoms" and the notion that our moment-to-moment perceptions of cause and effect and past and future and so forth are not really the way the universe works. Fair enough. The Tralfamadorians are meant to be a lighthearted twist on this idea; they seem to have no true notion of causality, and so in their minds they inhabit an eternal present in which their past/future is instantly linked up with their present. This makes sense, in some sense, but it's also the kind of thing that isn't super-fucking interesting. People talk to one another as though they've never met before (unless they have, in which case they talk as though they'd never met before), so you have to explain every single new thing you mention to a character, making things very cumbersome for readers, who get more information than any character in the book.

But the main problem is the same one that Vonnegut had to deal with when he introduced the time machine: how do you keep a plot from just containing wild events? Vonnegut goes the lazy route and has characters talk about things that were planned and foretold; he also has the time-traveling future Billy Pilgrim talk to characters in the past, which serves to both keep Billy in the story and to explain everything to the reader in a sort of self-consistent but also kind of goofy way. (The whole thing is so weird.) If you want to bury things in time travel and to avoid detailed explanations in a story where characters just don't care about logistics, it's easy enough to do -- but again, it's much less satisfying than a story whose moments all make sense in a consistent way. Vonnegut tries to have his cake and eat it, too, and the whole thing ends up feeling incoherent and unsatisfying.

(And yes, Vonnegut is laughing at us for wanting plot consistency.)

Vonnegut's fixation on the ultimate meaning of the universe is at least better here than in Cat's Cradle. Vonnegut proposes some kind of Taoist-Zen thing, the sense that everything is connected in a way that's ultimately meaningless in the sense that the connections don't "make sense" in the sense we mean when we talk about what really happened in a story. This concept has become a kind of cliche by now, but Vonnegut avoided the trap of "you mean there's no real meaning?" and so forth, which is nice.

However, all of this is just piled on top of a very weird and unsatisfying sci-fi story. Even the very idea of a war novel that makes no moral point feels very much like a statement or a gesture, which is good, and the novel's ultimate lack of clear moral or dramatic purpose is very funny and fresh when he puts it in the mouth of one of the characters, but those jokes would be funnier if they were set in a story that did, you know, have a point and some kind of dramatic arc. The fact that Billy is just a regular guy wandering through time and space with no particular purpose is almost absurdly discursive. Even in stories that are trying to make a point, there's a big difference between being told "this point is important" and being told "I'm not going to even pretend to have a point." Even if the latter is funnier, it leaves us with an overall feeling of emptiness. (Sort of like life itself.)

#bookshelf

[tabloidtoc]

National Examiner, May 18

Cover: Olivia Newton-John secrets she hid from the world 

Page 2: The secrets behind Star Wars 

Page 4: Shocking mug shots of the stars 

Page 6: Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson are donating their blood to science in hopes of discovering a Hank-ccine so the star can help save the world from coranavirus 

Page 7: How to keep your marriage going strong 

Page 8: Potful of other uses for coffee 

Page 9: How to avoid those quarantine pounds 

Page 10: If you’re on your way to get groceries in Winter Park, Florida you may find yourself laughing -- a local mom has been drawing funny chalk cartoons about social distancing on the sidewalk 

Page 11: Your Health 

Page 12: They’re Famous and Best Pals Too -- Sophie Turner and Maisie Williams, The Rock and Kevin Hart, Gwyneth Paltrow and Beyonce, Guy Fieri and Matthew McConaughey, Julia Roberts and George Clooney 

Page 13: Mindy Kaling and Reese Witherspoon, Snoop Dogg and Martha Stewart, Barbra Streisand and Lady Gaga, Emma Stone and Jennifer Lawrence, 50 Cent and Bette Midler 

Page 14: Dear Tony -- Church Should Be a Place for Spiritual Healing, Tony predicts families becoming much stronger supportive units as we come out of COVID-19 along with a greater respect for teachers and medical professionals and other service workers 

Page 15: Being stuck indoors while a disease rages outside is stressful but it can also give rise to creative ideas like the enduring and beloved board game Candy Land which was dreamed up more than 70 years ago during the polio epidemic 

Page 16: First hubby James Dougherty remembers the Marilyn Monroe only I knew -- why happy days with Norma Jean Baker had to end 

Page 18: Men who shave their chest hair for the sake of fashion may want to reconsider -- a furry front is a sign on super intelligence 

Page 19: Things Your Pets Should Never Eat -- chocolate, grapes, coffee, garlic, raisins, avocados, macadamia nuts, xylitol sweetener, lily plants, Tylenol

Page 20: Cover Story -- Olivia Newton-John’s secret wild life exposed -- squeaky-clean star recalls rock star days of drugs, destruction and exorcism 

Page 22: It’s a landmark birthday for any teen so when Emily Banta turned 18 she was bummed she would have to spend it social distancing instead of partying with her pals but surprise -- the Missouri gal got her big blowout with a drive-by birthday celebration 

Page 24: Prince Louis turns two 

Page 25: Next time you loan your car to a friend or family member consider this: you may also be giving them a license to snoop

Page 26: The Good Doctor -- getting a second opinion should be a first priority, since March of last year UPS has been conducting a trial program called Flight Forward using autonomous drone deliveries of critical medical samples including blood or tissue between two branches of a hospital in Raleigh, North Carolina, located 150 yards apart 

Page 27: Simple plan shows you how to remember everything 

Page 28: Loretta Lynn tells all -- the Patsy Cline only I knew -- how the Coal Miner’s daughter found a sister in the country legend 

Page 30: Tough times led Tony Bennett to the top -- he left his heart in San Francisco but never forgot where he came from 

Page 32: The hilarious wit and wisdom of The Golden Girls -- Betty White, Estelle Getty, Bea Arthur, Rue McClanahan 

Page 34: Tired All the Time? Simple lifesaving tests hold key to putting more pep in your step 

Page 40: Tony’s Mystic World -- do you have psychic power? 

Page 43: Joy Behar wants to set the record straight about all the yakety-yak that’s been going around about her saying goodbye to The View -- it’s not going to happen, the loneliness of the coronavirus quarantine is actually agreeing with Glenn Close for now 

Page 44: Eyes on the Stars -- Prince Charles and wife Camilla Duchess of Cornwall show their appreciation for hospital staffers at their Scottish home, Ringo Star, life imitated art for Halle Berry while shooting the movie Bruised -- for her role as an MMA fighter she trained with UFC champion Valentina Shevchenko and wound up getting injured during a filmed face-off, Kate Hudson lives only a hop skip and a jump away from mother Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell but she’s considering a move to be even closer to her mom, pregnant Katy Perry says her pregnancy has given her a hankering for different types of food and her no. 1 craving is avocado toast with Tabasco, Marianne Faithfull is on the road to recovery after being hospitalized in England for three weeks as she suffered from coronavirus

Page 45: Tony Bennett takes part in a New Jersey charity telethon, Joan Collins salutes U.K. medical workers, Chris Pratt and Katherine Schwarzenegger are expecting their first child together, Tom Brady who left the New England Patriots for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers got off on the wrong foot in his new hometown -- he was working out in a public park that was off-limits during the coronavirus shutdown and was asked to leave, The Price Is Right announcer George Gray suffered three massive heart attacks, Kristin Cavallari revealed she’s split from husband of seven years Jay Cutler 

Page 46: On average women are getting mansplained more than once a day -- Mansplaining refers to the infuriating habit shared by many men who talk down to women and over-explain things the women already know and usually know better 

Page 47: Motorcycles of the Stars -- Jay Leno, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Orlando Bloom, Pink, Tom Cruise, Justin Timberlake, Keanu Reeves, Bradley Cooper 

#tabloid #tabloid toc #grain of salt #Olivia Newton-John #barbra streisand #lady gaga #martha stewart #snoop dogg #marilyn monroe #star wars #emma stone #jennifer lawrence #jlaw #om hanks #rita wilson #james dougherty #norma jean baker #prince louis #loretta lynn #patsy cline #tony bennett #the golden girls #joy behar #Glenn Close

[subitupjonah]

Jothias- Under Orders

WHEN- April 3rd

WHERE- Matthias Venzo’s residence

WHO- Jonah Price, Matthias Venzo @matthiasvenzo

EVENT- First scene (of many) together with the allmighty Matthias

Jonah still had no damn clue what being under order meant, and that came from someone who had been a living sextoy to rich-ass Sugar girl under orders. Now, that had been all kinds of sweet, but this guy? This new, ridicilously attractive guy? He was something else and it was intimidating the fuck out of him-- and yet he felt some weird need to just fucking go for it.

So he did, and now he was being escorted over to some house with a bag over his shoulder since he'd spend all night there, which was also really fucking weird, but on the other hand? Big house. That sure as hell beat whatever else this Island had to offer. They reached the door and Jonah remembered the order of him kneeling in front of it when he arrived. He could do that. He could also fucking not do that, so he didn't. 1-0 to Jonah Price. @Kurt

Matthias BOT 2020-04-03 After dealing with one clueless boy, he wasn't exactly seeing any reason as to why this would be any different. Everyone here was clearly so off their game, and it was depressing. So truth be told, he knew he had his work cut out for him. And already he was exhausted. Fuck.

Water bottle in hand, he unscrews the cap and moves to pull his front door open. Like before, his orders were ignored. That simply wouldn't do. "Clearly being pretty doesn't equal knowing how to take orders." He sighs, leaning against the doorframe and motions. "You have three seconds to fix yourself, before I fix it for you."

Jonah [S] BOT 2020-04-03 The door opens and Jonah adjusts the bag on his shoulder and licks the corner of his lips nervously as eh see the dom appear before his eyes. He should have known that he looked just as intimidating in person as he did seem in texting format, and he wasn't sure whether he liked it or not. He quirks a curious eyebrow at the guy and feels a small smirk tug on his lips as the other points out that he's not following his order-- and there's a quick second where he considers if it's worth doing so or not. What would kneeling entail for him? And-- a weirdly pleasant chill runs down his spine-- what would happen if he went against it? He was tempted to find out. Oh, so tempted. But he had all day and night for that, so instead, he meets his eyes, giving him a challenging look as he kneels down in front of him. "Better, sir?"

Kurt2020-04-03 Matthias wasn't above counting aloud to really drive the nail in. Though luckily the submissive weighed his options well enough as he sank to his knees, and left the Dominant satisfied as he smirks taking a drink of his water. "Good boy." Pushing away from the doorframe,  he slips the bag off the subs shoulder so he can sling it over his own shoulder. "Now, carefully crawl inside and move to the sofa in my living room..." He points behind him with the door still wide open. "Don't hurt yourself, but I like to see what kind of an ass I'm going to enjoy tonight." Stepping aside, he motions again with his bottle. "Crawl for me." 4 april 2020

Jonah [S] BOT 2020-04-04 What was it with all these doms and crawling? If they wanted a good look at their ass, all they had to do was ask, but crawling on a hard surface? What was the point in that? He lets out a small scoff and sends the dom a glare for even daring to ask such a thing of him, but he eventually gets up on all four and starts crawling over the hard surface. "This is fucked up", he mutters to himself and slowly makes his way over to the couch. "There. Happy? Got a good look?"

Matthias BOT 2020-04-04 "Oh, cry me a river, little boy." Matthias smirks, eyes glued to the other guys ass as he crawls past. Using his entire body weight to close the door as he follows, tossing the over night bag on a nearby table and moves to drop down the sofa. Giving a swirl of the water bottle, he upright tips it over the subs head, drenching him with whatever contents were left. "Watch yourself with that hot head, you'll get yourself in trouble." A careless toss of the water bottle, and he folds his arms. "How many scenes have you had so far?"

Jonah [S] BOT 2020-04-04 The water came unexpectedly over his head, causing him to snort out in protest and shake his head like a damn dog before he scowls at the guy in front of him. Who even is that guy? "I've been here a week, why don't you take a wild guess?" comes his response, mostly to hide the fact that he have no fricking clue what a scene means. This is definitely one of those times he wished he hadn't thrown away the pamphlet, because some knowledge could be very much needed right now-- even if he was pretty damn easy to be taught. "What about you? Sir?"

Matthias BOT 2020-04-04 Giving a mock-pity tilt of his head, the Dominant folds his hands across his chest. "Only a week and you haven't done a thing yet? What've you been doing for that week?" There's a deep breath and he shrugs. "I've been here three days, and I've done over a thousand scenes back in LA. Eleven years, little boy." Sitting up straight again, he jerks his chin. "So since you clearly haven't done this before, let's go over some ground rules, yeah? First, if I call you to me, I expect you to come and kneel at my feet immediately." One hand moving out, slicking the wet hair away from Jonah's forehead. "Second, I'm going to need a list of your hard limits - kinky shit that you don't want to try at all."

Dani/Jonah/Cooper [Sazzy]2020-04-04 "Oh, I haven't done nothing. There's been a whole lot of not nothing", Jonah assures the guy with a cocky smirk. "One week here and people are having problems resising this", he continues, motioning at his body, because, heck yeah, he's proud of it. "And if I don't come when you call?" He challenges. "Whatcha gonna do then, throw some more water on me?" It was an easy rule to follow, at least but what fun would it be if he did follow them? He had lived under strict rules growing up, he was used to a bit of rebellion. "Right, yeah-- I don't kiss dudes, let's start with that. No scat or golden showers", he says, pausing a little as he thinks back to his night out with the Huimmel guy. This he can do. "My safeword is Potatoes". 5 april 2020

Matthias BOT 2020-04-05 One eyebrow raises, not at all in amusement at the challenge. If anything he leans forward, grabbing a good handful of the wet hair and pulling Jonah in closer so their faces were inches apart. "You don't come when I call, I'll have to punish you. And you won't be wet with water when I'm through with you." Releasing the boys hair, he again sits back, mulling over the hard limits. Always simple enough. Basic. Easy to remember. "Potatoes. I'll remember that." He moves a hand through his own hair, running his tongue over his bottom lip.

"I say we get this assignment out of the way first. So here's what I'm thinking. Since you think you're a big tough guy, who clearly hasn't been challenged enough, I want you to strip. Once you're naked, I want you to bend over the back of my sofa." He makes a gesture behind him. "I'll be using a dog leash to impact your back and your ass. And I want good to count aloud how many times I strike you. Mess up? I'll start over. Do good? I'll let you put your pants back on and we'll play video games as a reward."

Jonah [S] BOT 2020-04-05 The hard yank of his hair causes Jonah to make a surprised sound, and his eyes widen as his face is suddenly inches away from the dom's. Scary? Yeah. It wasn't worse than his father getting frustrated with his old behaviors back home. Only this guy was more intimidating and the threats, he felt, were real. Whatever the heck that entailed. "Got it. You're the boss", comes his response, and he sits back the moment the other releases his hair to take in the instructions.

Now, that he could do. Stripping was easy enough. Bending over and taking a few strikes with a dog leash... something about the thought excited him a little. So he smirks as he get up and starts removing his t-shirt with ease and locks his eyes with the other as he starts to unzip his shorts to pull them down, along with his boxers and proceeds to bend over, taking a deep breath as he does so.

Matthias BOT 2020-04-05 Remaining unwavering from his spot on the sofa, as he allows Jonah to follow through with the given instructions, Matthias doesn't even bother looking at the submissive in any manner that would suggest approval or even being the slightest bit impressed. His face remained set, eyes not leaving Jonah's face. He was a professional, and nudity at this point at his word never had any kind of reaction.

Standing once Jonah got into position, the Dominant finds the dog leash. A purpose he knew he wanted to get a dog at some point after he got a job - something he would think about on Sunday when he was out with Santana, not now. Folding the leather leash in half like he would with a belt, he steps in and smooths a hand over Jonah's lower back. Without much else warning, he brings the leash down. Rather softly to start. Only a satisfaction slap echoes off the wall from the impact. "Count. And don't forget a title."

Jonah [S] BOT 2020-04-05 There is so much going on inside Jonah's head right now as he is bending over, and he can't really tell exactly what it is or even sort out his thoughts. There is some kind of... exhileration from standing there and bending over and knowing what is to come and the anticipation only builds up when he feels the leather stroking over his back. Then it comes. No warning. Just a hard smack that causes him to gasp out loud and grasp onto the edge of the couch. "Ah-- one. Sir." There's a sting, and yeah, he can feel it, despite the soft slap. He braces himself for more.

Matthias BOT 2020-04-05 "Good boy." Matthias praises, rubbing a soothing hand over Jonah's lower back and over the ass cheek that took the blunt of the hit. It was slightly tinged pink, but nothing that wouldn't fade after ten minutes if they stopped there. But they weren't going to, of course. Again, he brings the leash back and slaps it against Jonah's ass, for a second time. The third and fourth were also more softly done, getting the sub used to the impact before bringing a more hard hitting smack on the fifth, needing to add a burn after the initial sting. Six and up to nine followed suit, and ten came in with a hard thud. Needing to leave a mark with that one. The pale flesh bright red and hot to the touch as Matthias smoothed gentle fingers over the strip. "How you doing, stud? Doing okay?"

Jonah [S] BOT 2020-04-05 He was more prepared for the second one and counts it to second. Then third and he feels himself wince after each and every impact as he continues counting. The fifth smack comes harder and he chelnches his fist onto the cusion of the couch to take a deep breath. The stings are burning at this point, but he can take it like a good boy so he keeps counting up until the tenth smack. He damn near howls at the burn, but manage to keep it in. "T-ten, sir." He takes another deep breath, feeling himself trembling with anticipation and probably shock as hell. He's not sure. "I'm good, sir. T-thank you."

Matthias BOT 2020-04-05 The shaky tone, the sounds, and the overall trembling is what gets Matthias to puff his chest slightly. That was always a good look on his sub. A rush of arousal floods through his veins, and he lets it. Knowing the tightness in his jeans won't make much of a difference. He didn't have any plans to fuck this guy, since it was clear he was a virgin to doing anal off the bat. Still. It didn't stop Matthias from slapping his hand against the hot flesh, and groping, moving in behind to press himself against Jonah, getting his mouth right next to his ear. "Good boy. You made your Sir fucking proud of your tight little ass." He grips harder and then releases, giving Jonah his space back. "Let's get some cream on that, and you can put your pants on if you feel more comfortable that way."

Jonah [S] BOT 2020-04-05 There's another rush of something running through him when Matthias praises him, and he's not sure if it is because of the praise itself or because he can feel the hard texture of his jeans pressed against him, indicating his arousal. That, along with the groping makes him let out a whimpered sound that sounds so much unlike him that he starts to blush. "You are hard, sir", he points out and turns his head so he can look at the dom, his face flushed after their little scene. "Anything I can do about that?"

Matthias BOT 2020-04-05 Again, Matthias isn't fazed as he located the cream and returns to Jonah's side to uncap the tube and squeeze a little of the skin moisturizer into his hand. Giving a generous amount over Jonah's abused ass cheek first before making any sort of response. "And what exactly would you offer to do about that?"

Jonah [S] BOT 2020-04-05 He lets out a small his as Matthias starts to apply the cream over his burns and bruises. Fuck, he is going to feel that for a couple of days, that's for damn sure. "I have a good mouth", he offers, because at least he knows that he is, or at least he hasn't heard otherwise from those he had used his mouth on. "I can put it to good use. Would be a shame if you walked around straining your jeans all day."

Matthias BOT 2020-04-05 Despite himself, Matthias snorts while capping the tube again and placing it right where he had it before before leaning against the back of the sofa. "You've given a blow job before?" He's dubious, and the head tilt proves that. "And not just metaphorical ones to yourself." Reaching up, he pats the side of Jonah's face before rounding the sofa to sit and start booting up the game console.

Jonah [S] BOT 2020-04-05 "Does that surprise you?" He's not sure whether he should move yet, but he does and he can feel every bone crack in his body as he stretches and he can feel the burn even more now, despite the soothing cream. He ignores it for now as he wants to focus on Matthias, game be damned. He's got all day and night to have fun with that later. "You have me here now. Might as well use me. Sir."

Matthias BOT 2020-04-05 With the console switched on, the Dominant allows himself to lean back to regard to submissive again. "Nah, I've seen plenty of things weirder than a gym rat knowing how to blog a guy." He folds his hands in his lap. "Ah, so you want to be used. We can manage that." He hooks his finger to encourage Jonah closer and points to the floor. "How big of a cock have you let down your throat then?"

Jonah [S] BOT 2020-04-05 Jonah's experience with guys was limited down to blowjobs and handjobs, mostly due to his childhood friend and mostly because they had both needed release all those times. Then he had expanded himself to others at parties and, hell, even locker rooms. Having a cock in his mouth wasn't that much of a big deal anymore. Following Matthias's gesture, he kneels down onto the floor again and smirks at his question. "Big, sir. It's all right. I can take it. I can swallow, too, or you can mess me up. I don't mind either way."

Matthias BOT 2020-04-05 Matthias regards Jonah carefully. It had been a while since he had a blow job. Five days to be exact. And it was overdue. He hates going more than two days without one from somewhere, and if this guy was willing, then why the fuck not? With a shrug, he reaches down to unbutton his pants wide open and reaches down until his hand disappears inside his choice of black briefs. A bit adjusting and he manages to take out a thick cock, which wasn't completely hard as the head was just pushing through the foreskin. Even so, being at eight inches already with a semi-erection was nothing to turn your nose up at. It was impressive. And he wasn't fully hard to his full potential yet. His fingers stroking over himself for a moment before stopping. "Okay. Prove it."

Jonah [S] BOT 2020-04-05 He had imagined Matthias to be well-endowed, because he sure as hell carried that big-dick energy, and, boy, did he hold up to that energy. Jonah wasn't gay. or bi. But seeing that cock in front of his face did things to him that would put his father to shame and close down his whole business. So he moves forward and starts trailing his tongue from the base, up to the tip that he takes into his mouth to swirl his tongue around it. He does that for a while and let out a low, humming sound to provide vibrato and more friction before he hallow his cheeks and takes him further into his mouth.

Matthias BOT 2020-04-05 For now, Matthias lets Jonah take control. Do what he wants, and show off his skills in an attempt to impress. It feels good, he would never deny that. He's always been extremely sensitive, and the slightest brush could get him holding in a moan - but he had also gone through enough training to know how to keep control over himself for a while. Easing every pleasurable lick of a wet, warm tongue against his hot skin down to hold onto. So what if his balls seemed to flex when the humming started. He could control it.

After waiting a while, Matthias reigns himself back in and curls fingers into the drying soft hair of the boy working him over with his mouth. Giving a rough push, forcing his cock down the boys throat harshly, wanting to hear him sputter, as his other hand punches the end of Jonah's nose to make his throat open. "If I had known you were a little cock slut, I would've done this a lot sooner." He taunts, releasing Jonah after three seconds. "Spit on it. Don't try and deep throat me yourself dry."

Jonah [S] BOT 2020-04-05 The push was sudden and it sure as hell causes Jonah to splutter and gag for a moment until he is being released so he can breathe and find the time to relax his throat for next time. He licks his lips and smirks before he spits on the cock and gives it a few strokes before sinking his mouth over him again, this time prepared to get his mouth used any way the dom wants it to be used. Hell, he expects it, and all he wants in that moment is to please his dom.

Matthias BOT 2020-04-05 Waiting for Jonah to recover, Matthias let's both hands move to the back of his head, fingers curling into his hair as he starts to add force to the movements of up and down on his cock. There was no way in hell he could bottom out without causing damage, even if his cock craved to feel the desperate struggle and he restricting muscles around him. He had fully pushed past the foreskin now, embedding the head of his cock over and over past the gag reflex of the submissive.

Jonah [S] BOT 2020-04-05 Spluttering and gagging noises he can't control escapes from Jonah with each and every push the other forces on him. He takes it with his eyes tearing up and just goes for it, letting himself be at Matthias's mercy and letting himself be used, just like he had asked him to. But soon enough he starts to feel that it's a bit too much, and he can't exactly say potatoes at this point, so he manage to raise a hand and make a 'no-no' motion in hope that the other will understand. Maybe he should think of a hand signal from now on.

Matthias BOT 2020-04-05 Taking the signal, Matthias let's Jonah go completely and shifts back to sit upright. "You did good, stud." He praises, running his fingers through Jonah's hair in a more affectionate and gentle way. A complete switch from the sadistic guy a few seconds ago. "I'm impressed. How you doin'? Breathe for me. Right? Slow and steady."

Jonah [S] BOT 2020-04-05 He starts coughing and gagging once his mouth is free, but recovers quickly. His eyes are teary as he looks up at his dom and he closes them at the affectionate touch and follows his instructions to the breathing technique. He does that for a while and manage to relax somewhat. "Thank you, sir", he manage, though he doesn't feel like he had accomplished what he was supposed to. "I'm sorry."

Matthias BOT 2020-04-05 "Oh there's nothing to be sorry for. Hey, you did hella good. Most dudes can't get me past their throat, and you did it like a champ." Matthias places a hand under Jonah's chin, thumb skating to wipe away an escape tear. "The end goal isn't my orgasm, yeah? The end goal is you doing something to push your limits until you could admit you had enough. You did that. No apologies needed. You're a good boy, stud." Only Taking his hand away to carefully maneuver himself back into his pants - which is difficult. He can't even button them back up, but he ignores it. He can handle that later. Pulling the throw over the back of his sofa over Jonah's shoulders, he rubs at his arms. "Where you at? You a yellow? A red? A green? Whatcha need from me, Stud?"

Jonah [S] BOT 2020-04-05 Like a champ. Those encouraging words helped a little. but fuck it if he didn't feel embarrassed over the whole thing. He had done what he could, he had pushed himself and Matthias recognized that he had tried, and that was something. He feels himself relax a little and he clears his throat before he speaks. "Yellow, sir. And maybe some water?"

Matthias BOT 2020-04-05 "Yellow. Let's focus on getting you back up to a green." Runs his hands through Jonah's hair again, fingers gently massaging at his scalp and moving it back towards his neck. "Don't stop communicating with me, yeah? Let me get you that water." Adjusting the throw more to keep Jonah covered and from his body temperature from dropping, Matthias gets up and moves to the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and returning. Uncapping it himself as he sits back down and holds the bottle towards the submissive. "You need anything else?"

Jonah [S] BOT 2020-04-05 Jonah wasn't sure what was happening to him. His confidence was usually at its peak at all times, even with failure, but now he felt different. Almost angry at himself for not pushing himself further because then Matthias would be pleased and spent and now he wasn't. He grabs the bottle of water and chugs some of the contents down his throat, feeling how it soothes him there. He licks the remaining drops of water off the corner of his lips and looks back at the dominant. "Nah, I'm good. Thanks."

Matthias BOT 2020-04-05 Matthias raises a brow, unconvinced. Resting his forearms on his knees, tongue pressing against his cheek. "Tell me what's going on through your head, stud. And don't deflect or brush me off either." He tips his chin down, brows both raised now. "I want you honest with me."

Jonah [S] BOT 2020-04-05 Jonah scoffs at the question. "I'm--" Fine. No, that's not it. He's fine, but there's something else. "i'm disappointed in myself, sir. I should have pushed myself further but I couldn't even do that so I'm disappointed in myself for fucking that up." How was that for honesty? "I don't do things half-assed, sir. I like finishing things off, and I like feeling like I did it right and did it good."

#[Para] #[ship | Call me by your name] #[Matthias]

[indelibleevidence]

Taken for Granted, chapter 11

Previous chapters here.

***

“You sure you want to do this, Jane? Under the circumstances—I mean, with what you went through with Avery—if you’d rather Tasha or Patterson went…” Reade frowned at her, concerned.

“I’ll be fine, Reade. Thanks.” Jane finished applying thick makeup to her bird tattoo, as Zapata obscured the oil derricks on the back of her neck. “How do I look? Think I’ll pass for Penny Yates?”

“As long as they’ve never seen Yates before, I think you’re good.” Zapata handed over the sponge wedge she’d been using with a quick smile. “I’m not a huge fan of you as a blonde, though.”

Jane pulled a face at her in the locker room mirror. “Me either. I’m dying this straight back when this op is over.”

“You should try a different colour. Dark, but different. Like really dark, brownish red, or blue-black,” Tasha suggested.

“Maybe. That would mean I’d have to go shopping for dye, though. I’ve already got basic black in my bathroom cabinet.” Jane tugged on her frumpy, patterned blouse, sighing. “This looks like something Patterson used to wear before you gave her a fashion intervention.”

Tasha snickered, while Reade gestured towards the door. “Speaking of Patterson, she’s gonna drive you to a few blocks away from the rendezvous point. She’s got your bug and whatever all ready to go. Just don’t die on us, Jane. God knows it’d be hard enough explaining that to Kurt, let alone Avery.”

After promising to be careful, Jane went in search of Patterson in the parking garage. Her friend grinned as she put the car into gear. “That outfit is so unflattering. And I think I used to own that blouse.”

Jane grinned. “It’s based on stuff we took from Yates’ own closet. Anything out of place?”

Patterson braked at the corner, waiting to turn into traffic, then gave her a quick once-over. “Wedding ring.”

“Oh. Shit.” With a pang of regret, Jane switched her ring from her left hand to her right—Yates was a divorcée. “Thanks for the catch.”

“We could have done this without you, you know. The undercover operation, I mean.”

“I know. But Zapata isn’t FBI and—no offence—you’re better in the lab.”

“None taken. I do kick ass in the lab.” Patterson smiled a little. “You told Kurt you’re going undercover, right? When you spoke to him last night?”

Jane nodded. “Yeah. He…wasn’t wild about me going in without backup.”

“None of us are,” Patterson said seriously. “If not for the kids, I’d suggest going in with a full SWAT team at your back, just use force. These guys are heavily armed and extremely paranoid, Jane.”

“Just… If I go dark, and I probably will, give me room to improvise. Forty-eight hours, that’s all I’m asking. Yates said the shipments of kids go out on alternate Fridays, right? It’s Tuesday today, and they want me to observe their operations for a few days this week so they can bring Yates in after she burns her bridges at the hospital she works at. Which is next week.”

“Who would do something like that?” Patterson wondered aloud. “Sedate and steal a bunch of newborn babies so they can be sold on the adoption black market?”

Jane shook her head. “Not anyone who’s ever had their own, that’s for sure.” She sighed. “Anyway, if I can get enough intel on where they get the kids, and where they send them, by Thursday noon, that’s enough time to raid the place before we lose the kids they’ve gathered up for this shipment.”

“And if we don’t hear from you by Thursday noon?” Patterson asked softly.

“Assume I can’t get away, and tell SWAT that child hostages are likely.” Jane buried her face in her hands. “God, I can’t believe I just said that.”

“Just do what you can, Jane.” Patterson touched her shoulder briefly. “You’re just one person.”

Wishing she could shake her nerves, Jane nodded. “Yeah, I know. Just…keep Kurt on a leash for as long as you can? Give me room to work.”

Patterson groaned. “That’s gonna be tough, but I will do my best.”

I’m sorry, Kurt. I need to do this, for all the parents and kids involved in this thing. Jane rubbed the spot where her wedding ring usually sat, then the opposite finger, where it now rested. Please understand.

***

Kurt sent a text to Jane as soon as he landed at JFK, not really expecting an answer, but needing something to do with his hands while he waited for the rows before him to disembark the plane. God, I hope she’s safe.

He followed it with a text to Patterson. How’s the undercover mission going?

By the time he was off the plane, his worst fears had been confirmed. She went dark a few hours ago. Don’t freak out. We knew this was likely.

Kurt tucked his phone back into his pocket halfway through a harshly worded message to Reade, took a shaky breath to calm himself, then concentrated on getting clear of the airport. As the taxi joined hundreds of other cars bound for Brooklyn, he leaned his head back against the seat and closed his eyes.

Would she have gone on this mission if we were in a better place? Part of him instantly dismissed the notion—trying to stop Jane from helping people was always a futile effort, no matter how good their relationship was. But the fear for her safety didn’t feel all that different from the fear of losing her because of their marital issues. He still found it difficult to breathe when he remembered what being without her was like.

When he got home, tired and stressed, he noticed a familiar brand of envelope on the coffee table, addressed to him. Dropping his luggage on the floor, he picked up Jane’s message and opened it.

Kurt,

I’m sorry I couldn’t be here to meet you when you got home. Whatever I’m doing right now, with these awful people, just know that I miss you. I’ll come back to you as soon as I can, and I’m so glad Sarah and Sawyer are okay.

Could you look in on Avery for me tomorrow? She’s trying to play it cool, but I can tell she’s worried. She could do with some reassurance from someone who’s not me, I think.

I’ll be telling Patterson to tell you this, but here it is from me, too: please, don’t come rushing in if I go dark. I need time to earn their trust and get enough evidence to blow this thing out of the water. The second I have what I need, I’ll get out of there, I swear.

I know this will be hard for you, and that you’ll be scared for me. I wish I could have spared you that. But I couldn’t live with myself if I didn’t do this. For all the Averys and Bethanys and Taylor Shaws who are at risk, I have to try.

I love you so much, no matter what.

Jane

Kurt switched to the second page, a lump growing in his throat as he looked down at her sketch. In it, he was lifting Bethany high in the air, grinning as she clutched at him with her mouth open in a silent squeal. Being hoisted up so high was one of his daughter’s favourite things, though as she grew older it was becoming more difficult to lift her. Jane had captured Bethany’s ecstatic expression perfectly, and his own sketched face was full of amusement and love.

Since Jane had begun this series of drawings of her memories, seeing their life together through her eyes had deepened his understanding of her feelings for him. He realised now that she kept a lot of her emotions below the surface, even when she was being openly affectionate. It probably had a lot to do with her upbringing at the orphanage. Hiding the things she loved was how she’d survived back then.

When he’d left Jane, he’d been unsure they’d ever get their relationship to a place where she loved him even half as much as he loved her. Now, the perceived depth of her love wasn’t something he questioned. He just wanted her home with him, desperately wanted to try making love to her again. He needed her safely in his arms, in their apartment and in their bed.

He just hoped they had the chance to try again. Please, Jane. Stay alive. Come home to me soon.

#taken for granted #blindspot fanfic #canon divergence #blindspot #jeller #jeller fic

[hazyheel]

Monday Night Raw 5/6/19 Review

The night started off by torturing the brand split, but not quite getting rid of it. Vince McMahon was out, and just said that this would be an episode that we would always remember. Roman Reigns came out to interrupt McMahon, and he said that he would show up on any show he wants if the crowd would have him, thankfully that got cheered. McMahon then said that if Reigns was ignoring the brand split, everyone would start to. Daniel Bryan then came out, I think to complain that he wanted a rematch although he was cut off. He was kissing McMahon’s ass and calling him an intellectual when Kofi Kingston came out. Kingston then told Bryan that he should’ve gone straight to Kingston if he wanted a rematch. Bryan then ran him down with similar rhetoric to the old feud, but this time Kofi was even more confident. McMahon then said that he would make a wildcard rule, where a couple roster members could work both brands. Bryan and Kingston argued again, and Drew McIntyre interrupted. He wanted to fight Reigns, because he has a huge ego. McIntyre was weirdly pro management in this promo, insulting Reigns for punching McMahon. McIntyre wanted a match with Reigns, so McMahon booked both that and a WWE Championship match between Kingston and Bryan. 

AJ Styles then showed up, and they just transitioned into a new segment. Styles was pissed about the wildcard rule, the one that just came into existence. I don’t know why he is so pissed, but he is. Seth Rollins then came out to confront Styles about their brawl last week. He said that Styles showed his true colors by attacking him, and Styles said that Rollins was being a dick first. McMahon said that they were to riled up, so he booked them in a tag match against a random tag team.

Grade: D-. I just don’t know why they are still clinging to the idea of the brand split. This whole wildcard rule is just stupid. If you want Roman on both shows, then just get rid of the brand split. It is just dying a slow death, and I wish it would be faster. I dislike inconsistency, and that is all that this wildcard rule will be. The way that this will become tolerable is if NXT is involved. I just don’t like that they are trying to extend this brand split longer than it should be. Just pull the plug Vince. Pull the plug. Oh, and the tag match booking was fine. Vince was annoying when he was patting himself on the back, but that was the point.

Into the actual tag match, Styles and Rollins took on Bobby Lashley and Baron Corbin. The match quickly turned into a competition between the faces, hitting stereo dives in a dick measuring competition. They did very limited moves, but they seemed like they had good tag team chemistry. At one point, Styles went for the phenomenal forearm, but Corbin distracted him, allowing Lashley to hit a rough spear through the ropes. Lashley hit his stomach hard on the apron as he went down. Towards the end of the match, Styles tried to hit Corbin with the phenomenal forearm, but he dodged it and Styles sailed into Rollins. Styles then left the ring in a very heel move, leaving Rollins to be hit with the end of days for the heel win.

Grade: D+. Super didn’t care about this match. True that it continued the feud between Rollins and Styles, but other than that it was just unremarkable. Corbin got a pin over Rollins, which could be leading to a title match in the future. Oh to joy. This was a slow opening to Raw, because these first few segments took the entire first hour. 

Sami Zayn came out for another promo insulting critics like me, and asked what we had to complain about. I said the first hour. He then said that although we can be positive sometimes, he said that we are still toxic after the fact. Bruan Strowman then came out to confront Zayn, and Zayn ran away through the corwd and around ringside. Even during the next match, they ran through the backstage area. Zayn tried to escape while throwing buckets and bins at him. Strowman eventually grabbed him and threw him in a dumpster. Right as a garbage truck came to grab it. I think Sami was thrown in a garbage truck.

Grade: C-. I am gonna cut this some slack because it is the beginning of the storyline, but I can’t give it anything higher than this. I am just sick and tired of Strowman fighting cowardly heels. He should be fighting someone who is actually tough, because that is what he deserves. Sami’s character is good, but I don’t see how it translates into an actual feud.

Lucha House Party then came out for a 6-man tag, and I had forgotten that they were on Raw, against some jobbers they won quickly with their finishers in succession. Fine

Backstage, Naomi, Natalya and Dana Brooke received invitations to Lacy Evan’s match later on. They said that she was weird, and made fun of her for scenting the envelopes. Alrighty.

Next was Ricochet against Robert Roode to qualify for the Money in the Bank match. Ricochet was guaranteed a spot in Money in the Bank, but he had to defend it after losing a match to Roode a couple weeks ago. Roode’s offense has changed quite a bit since he turned heel, becoming much grittier and more violent and overall better. However, Ricochet won quickly with the 630 senton.

Grade: C+. Could’ve gotten higher if it was more competitive, but this wasn’t given enough time. Still, I liked the work in this match, and I always love to see Ricochet.

Backstage, Rey Mysterio was walking around with his son Dominic, but they separated when Mysterio grabbed went into his locker room. Dominic went to grab water, and Samoa Joe followed him. However, Joe just talked to him backstage. Joe criticized Dominic for hoisting his dad up on his shoulders after the match. Joe just yelled at Dominic for a bit, and then told him to tell his dad that he was looking forward to their match at money in the bank.

Grade: B. This was an intimidating promo, but I thought it would be a bit more sinister. Dominic actually held his own while being all up in Joe’s face. I like this feud, and I am excited to see a real match between them. And I want to see how Dominic gets involved.

Next was Lacy Evans against a Jobber, with all the Money in the Bank ladies at ringside (Naomi, Natalya, Alexa Bliss and Dana Brooke). She squashed her with a woman’s right quick, and then Evans got on the mic and ran them all down for not being as good as her. She said that they shouldn’t bother trying to cash in on her, because she will take them down. Becky Lynch then came out for a wild brawl between her and Evans. Lynch was really kicking her ass this time around.

Grade: C+. It was a short brawl, but I was entertained. Maybe that was because I was so bored from the first hour, but I liked it. Still not a positive though.

Daniel Bryan then cut a promo backstage about how Kingston is a terrible champion due to his promotion of consumerism. Cool.

Backstage, the Usos were up to something. 

And then the Viking Raiders were out for a match against Kurt Hawkins and Zack Ryder. I think this was a non-title match, but the Champions got a jobber entrance which is never good. However, they had an enjoyable match. Hawkins hit a great flying lariat off the apron, only for Erik to come by and knee him in the face. The Viking Raiders then got in the ring and hit Ryder with the Viking Experience for the win.

Grade: C. Yeah, I was wrong when I said this was entertaining. It was just frustrating and short. I wish they would actually let the Viking Raiders to get over before they were pushed so hard, but they pinned the champions in this match, so the story is not over.

And then we had the firefly funhouse, which I have heard has actually been really good. During the show, Wyatt was trying to find out what Mercy ate, and it turned out to be Ramblin Rabbit. Wyatt said that this was okay, because he expressed himself, and he rewarded Mercy with a picnic around a bunch of kids that were frowning. 

Grade: B+. This one was kinda short, but shit it was creepy. I really liked that I lot. So I apologize for saying it was bullshit a few weeks ago. I really like that Wyatt is coming for the kids, it is awesome, and he should be back to a similar character with a twist in ring soon enough. This was my favorite part of the night.

Rollins then cut a promo on Styles, saying that he was going to beat his ass next time they see each other, because Styles made his intentions clear when he left the match. Unclear if this was a heel turn for Styles tonight, but we will see.

Next up was Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre. McIntyre dominated in a similar way to their Wrestlemania match. McIntyre nailed Reigns with a reverse alabama slam onto the apron. He also countered a superman punch with an awesome spinbuster, so McIntyre was the real highlight of the match. Roman was about to get the win after a spear, but Shane McMahon ran out to cause the DQ with Elias. The beatdown was happening, and Miz ran in to chase McMahon away. However, Reigns was still hit with a claymore. Backstage, Shane was desperately trying to hide from Miz, and was actually successful until Charlie tried to interview him. Shane tried to hop in a care, but Miz fought him in the parking garage. Shane got the better of the match with a low blow, but Miz was very valiant during the fight.

Grade: B-. Lots of stuff to cover here, and I think it just edges into the positives. The match was fine but not great, and there seems to be a lot of rivalries brewing right now. McIntyre stood tall, but he should have gotten a clean win. As for Miz and Shane, their rivalry is as intense as ever. This all was just a lot, but it was fine in the end.

The Revival were set to have a tag team match against The Good Brothers, but the Usos interrupted on the mic before the match. They played a prank on the revival by putting Uscy hot in their trunks so that their sweat burns. Then the revival was rubbing their asses on the ground and making fools of themselves. Then they poured water on themselves, and started selling for the Uscy hot like crazy.

Grade: F. Fuck this. I get that they are trying to embarass the Revival because they are leaving, but do the stories need to be this stupid? Honestly, the Usos aren’t coming across great either, but having a bit of a change in their character was good. This was just stupid. The Revival are weirdly good at selling though, so that was kinda funny.

No Way Jose was out at ringside dancing around, but Lars Sullivan showed up. He beat down the Konga Line, and then destroyed Jose as well. One guy he hit with a freak accident onto the barricade. He hit Jose with a running sitout powerbomb before leaving.

Grade: B. Pretty good, but I just kinda don’t care about No Way Jose. The Konga people were good at selling, but this segment is always the same.

Backstage, Sullivan was in Vince’s office to intimidate him into extending the wildcard stuff to four people. He did. Well, I guess that means that Elias is getting suspended.

And in the main event, Kofi Kingston defended the WWE Championship against Daniel Bryan in the main event. The two went at it at a very high speed, but their interactions weren’t quite as smooth as the one at mania. At one point, Bryan back dropped Kingston out of the ring, and he messed up the landing and his head smacked the floor. Kingston attempted to use high flying to fight against Bryan with several splash variations off the top rope. In the end, Kofi was able to hit his trouble in paradise to retain.

Grade: B+. Pretty good, but not nearly as good as their encounter at wrestlemania. I think the right person won here, and it was a good way to wrap up the feud. I don’t know what Bryan will do from here, but I am sure he will be involved in a good feud.

Overall Grade: C+

Pros: Samoa Joe promo; Firefly funhouse; Sullivan Beatdown; Main event

Cons: opening promo; opening tag; strowman attack; raiders vs. tag champs; revival bullshit

#hazyheel #wwe #wwe review #wwe raw #raw #raw review #wwe raw review #monday night raw #monday night raw reviews #wwe monday night raw #wwe monday night raw review #pro wrestling #pro wrestling review #The Miz #shane mcmahon #roman reigns #drew mcintyre #kofi kingston #daniel bryan

[bongaboi]

I rewatched every fourth quarter Tom Brady has played in a Super Bowl. Here’s what I saw

I rewatched every fourth quarter Tom Brady has played in a Super Bowl. Here’s what I saw By Chad Finn Globe Staff,Updated February 5, 2021, 9:59 a.m.

Of all the Patriots’ staggering achievements in their two-decade dynasty, there’s one obscure statistic that I struggle to comprehend.

In their nine Super Bowl appearances, they never scored a first-quarter touchdown, and in fact scored just 3 points in the opening quarter in total, a Stephen Gostkowski field goal in Super Bowl LII versus the Eagles.

Given the potency of their offenses through those years, that makes no sense. But it’s also a reminder of something else: Tom Brady and the Patriots usually made the magic happen in the fourth quarter.

With a little bit of envy kicking in that Brady — who was supposed to be in the fourth quarter of his career a decade ago — has taken a new team to the Super Bowl, I thought it would be cathartic to rewatch the fourth quarters of all of Brady’s Super Bowl appearances, to relish what we remember, and remember what we forgot …

SUPER BOWL XXXVI: Patriots 20, Rams 17 Score at the start of the fourth quarter: Patriots 17, Rams 3

Random observation: Willie McGinest didn’t so much hold Marshall Faulk as he did maul him like a hungry bear catching up to his prey. His fourth-down penalty with 10:09 left negated Tebucky Jones’s 90-plus-yard touchdown return of a Kurt Warner fumble. (Tebucky sure could run fast in a straight line.) That TD would have given the Patriots a 23-3 lead, point-after pending. Instead, the Rams scored on the next play and it was game on. McGinest is a cornerstone of the dynasty, but he came awfully close to Schiraldian infamy there.

Stuff I forgot: Rookie left tackle Matt Light went down with an injury, and it was Grant Williams (no relation to the current Celtic) who was protecting Brady’s blind side … Drew Bledsoe inexplicably started warming up with 4½ minutes left … Brady was nearly sacked on the first play of the winning drive, before stepping up and completing the first of his three passes to unheralded hero J.R. Redmond.

Coolest moment: I mean … all of it? I suppose I could say Pat Summerall’s minimalist call of Adam Vinatieri’s upright-splitting 48-yard field goal, a moment both cathartic and unbelievable for longtime Patriots fans. But if we’re talking cool, it has to be Brady’s casual spike and catch of the football to stop the clock for Vinatieri’s winning attempt. Joe Namath was a hopeless dork-for-life compared with Brady’s cool in that moment.

SUPER BOWL XXXVIII: Patriots 32, Panthers 29 Score at the start of the fourth quarter: Patriots 14, Panthers 10.

Random observation: Though it was a weird game that didn’t have much rhythm or flow, it was shocking to look up with 6:53 left and see that the Panthers were all of a sudden leading, 22-21. They took the lead on an 85-yard pass from Jake Delhomme to Muhsin Muhammed, who ran past Ty Law in zone coverage and left late-arriving safety Eugene Wilson (who had an outstanding rookie year) collapsed and injured on the turf. The attrition in the secondary got worse when Rodney Harrison busted his forearm in the final minutes. If you remember that Shawn Mayer was one of the Patriots’ safeties in closing out that game, I’m going to suspect you’re his relative.

Stuff I forgot: Christian Fauria made a nifty catch (especially for a future sports radio host) that would have given the Patriots a 21-10 lead seven seconds into the fourth quarter, but the play was blown dead because of a Panthers penalty before the snap … David Givens overpowered Panthers defensive backs to make a couple of catches on the touchdown drive that put the Patriots up, 29-22, inside three minutes. If you didn’t like Givens, you weren’t paying attention … McGinest picked up an illegal-use-of-hands penalty midway through the quarter when he more or less folded Steve Smith in half while jamming him at the line. He hit him so hard Faulk probably felt it, wherever he was.

Coolest moment: Vinatieri’s second Super Bowl-winning field goal. He had a rough game to that point, with a miss and a block, and with just under six minutes, analyst Phil Simms said, “I don’t know that the Patriots are feeling very confident about that field goal situation.” Ah, we all knew Vinatieri would make the big one when the time came, Phil. He was just adding a little suspense.

SUPER BOWL XXXIX: Patriots 24, Eagles 21 Score at the start of the fourth quarter: Tied, 14-14.

Random observation: It’s wild that the Eagles had a chance to win in the final minutes. It should have been in the bag for the Patriots when Tedy Bruschi picked off Donovan McNabb with 7:20 left and the Patriots ahead, 24-14. But the Patriots couldn’t quite put it away, even when they got the ball back with 1:47 left, up 3. If punters could earn saves, Josh Miller would be credited with one after pinning the Eagles at their own 4 with 46 seconds left.

Stuff I forgot: Remember MVP Deion Branch’s catch that went through the hands of an Eagles defensive back? I hope you do. Remember the name of the defensive back whose hands willed themselves invisible at the worst possible time? Let’s put it this way: I bet Eagles fans add some descriptors to Sheldon Brown’s name … Legend has it that a rattled McNabb threw up on the field during one of the Eagles’ weirdly meandering final possessions. But his stress was obvious much sooner. With just under six minutes left, Terrell Owens was yelling at him on the sideline to relax … McNabb did find future brief Patriot Greg Lewis for a touchdown with 1:48 left, with backup safety Dexter Reid in coverage. Wilson had left with an injury for the second straight Super Bowl.

Coolest moment: It’s probably the Branch catch. But Harrison mocking the Eagles by flapping his arms like wings after his clinching interception is a fine runner-up.

SUPER BOWL XLII: Giants 17, Patriots 14 Score at the start of the fourth quarter: Patriots 7, Giants 3.

Random observation: Yeah, I’ll admit it. The impetus for this entire project was the opportunity to say this: Eli Manning was a disaster on that last drive, and the only way he belongs in the Pro Football Hall of Fame is if he’s going to check out Peyton’s bronze bust. He air-mailed Plaxico Burress twice early in the drive. He nearly fumbled, holding on to the ball with his legs, after Adalius Thomas (who played like an Andre Tippett clone) chased him down. Asante Samuel dropped a pick (it was a high throw and tough catch). Brandon Meriweather nearly had a pick after Thomas drilled Manning while he was throwing. The legendary pass to David Tyree was a desperation heave. Manning tried to give the game to the Patriots, and they just would not take it.

Stuff I forgot: Harrison had kind of a rough go of it beyond failing to rip the ball away from Tyree. Kevin Boss shook him off for a 45-yard catch early in the quarter that set up the Giants’ first touchdown … The image of Junior Seau hugging Bruschi after Brady found Moss for the go-ahead touchdown with 2:42 left only gets more haunting as the years pass … Ray Ventrone blew up kick returner Dominik Hixon prior to the Giants’ final possession, forcing them to start at their own 16.

Coolest moment: Is there one, when you’re rewatching the dream of 19-0 turn into 18-1? I suppose it would have to be that fleeting fraction of a second when it looked as if Brady and Moss might connect on a run-as-fast-as-you-can-and-I’ll-throw-it-as-far-as-I-can deep ball with 16 seconds left. Jason Webster got a fingertip — maybe just a fingerprint — to deflect the pass near the 21-yard line. Brady threw the ball 68 yards, and if it had carried another foot … well, you know.

SUPER BOWL XLVI: Giants 21, Patriots 17 Score at the start of the fourth quarter: Patriots 17, Giants 15

Random observation: I thought it then, and I know it now: The Patriots win this game if Rob Gronkowski is healthy, and they win it with ease. Playing on a heavily-taped sprained ankle, he had the mobility of an aging peg-legged pirate, and the Giants figured it out early. Gronk had one catch in the first three quarters, and he briefly stopped running on one of the key plays in the game, a Brady interception in the first minute of the fourth quarter. On a broken play after eluding the rush, Brady heaved it deep to Gronk, but he didn’t have the mobility to outposition generic linebacker Chase Blackburn, who came down with the interception. A healthy Gronk also might have hauled in the Hail Mary that Aaron Hernandez deflected his way on the final play, but he was a half-step late.

Stuff I forgot: Mario Manningham made a memorable catch along the sideline on the Giants’ winning drive. Earlier in the quarter, NBC analyst Cris Collinsworth criticized him, with an accompanying graphic, for his habit of running at an angle along the sidelines that would carry him out of bounds before he could get both feet down. That play was even more unlikely than we knew … Ahmad Bradshaw fumbled at the 14-minute mark at the Giants 13. James Ihedigbo should have made the recovery — it was right there — but Chris Snee ended up pouncing on it, keeping the Giants in possession. There are so many scattered what-ifs in the losses … It’s remembered as a drop, but Brady threw the ball behind Wes Welker on the infamous blunder with four minutes left. The more damaging drop might have been Branch’s at the Patriots 40 on the first play of the final possession, with 57 seconds left. If he catches it — and he was wide open — he has at least 20 yards on the play, with room to run.

Coolest moment: None. No cool moments. And it’s creepy seeing Hernandez. Do not recommend.

SUPER BOWL XLIX: Patriots 28, Seahawks 24 Score at the start of the fourth quarter: Seahawks 24, Patriots 14.

Random observation: Pete Carroll’s blank-eyed stare after the Malcolm Butler pick nourishes my soul. Less random observation? Rallying to win against this ferocious Seattle defense — and overcoming a 10-point fourth-quarter deficit, the biggest comeback in Super Bowl history — was the greatest feat of Brady’s career to that point.

Stuff I forgot: When you’re talking about third-down backs who have shown up in the biggest moments over the years, never forget to put Shane Vereen up there with James White, Redmond, and Kevin Faulk. Vereen made three of his 11 catches on the go-ahead drive, including a lovely one-handed grab with 6:45 left … Collinsworth started blathering about Deflategate with 2:52 left and the Patriots on the Seattle 5, trailing, 24-21. If there was any one moment to stick to the game, that was it … It’s amazing how prominent Butler had become even before the interception. He had blanket coverage on the ridiculous Jermaine Kearse catch, which felt like a here-we-go-again moment for Patriots fans. But he also got away with a trip earlier in the quarter, and had a spectacular breakup off a pass intended for Kearse just inside the two-minute mark.

Coolest moment: Given the timing and magnitude of the play, the effect that it had on win probability, how it saved the Patriots from what seemed to be another heartbreak, the degree of difficulty in catching it, and that it ushered in the second phase of the greatest dynasty in NFL history, Butler’s interception is to me the greatest single play in NFL history. But the coolest moment might have come a few seconds after the play, when Butler burst into tears while Patrick Chung hugged him, the joy and weight of his accomplishment hitting him all at once.

SUPER BOWL LI: Patriots 34, Falcons 28, OT Score at the start of the fourth quarter: Falcons 28, Patriots 9

Random observation: When we retell the tale of this football miracle, it’s tempting to say every single decision and play had to go the Patriots’ way in the fourth quarter. But the reality is, only most of the plays went their way, and the fourth quarter actually started with a bit of a letdown. The Patriots had to settle for a field goal with just under 10 minutes left, cutting it to 28-12, with Grady Jarrett sacking Brady twice on that drive. They were just warming up for their impossibly perfect finish.

Stuff I forgot: White should have been the MVP, and Brady ended all honest debates about who the greatest quarterback of all time is, but there were countless other heroes too, and rewatching this game offered a nice reminder of Malcolm Mitchell’s role. He had five catches in the fourth quarter and overtime, including a third-and-11 conversion on the drive that cut the score to 28-20. He was the David Givens of that Patriots team, and he’ll always be remembered well … It’s forgotten now, but the Patriots defense had a huge breakdown with 5:48 left, when Devonta Freeman was left uncovered and raced for a 39-yard catch-and-run … Of all of the huge plays, the biggest to me is Dont’a Hightower’s sack of Matt Ryan and forced fumble (recovered by Alan Branch) at the Falcons 25 with 8:28 left and the Patriots down 16.

Coolest moment: Julian Edelman’s catch — you know the one, with a little over two minutes left, when he somehow entered the Matrix, stopped time, or dabbled in some other sorcery and clutched the ball amid a sea of limbs just as it was about to hit the turf — is one of the most famous in NFL history. If Lynn Swann got to Canton based largely on Super Bowl highlights for a dynasty, Edelman deserves the same consideration someday.

SUPER BOWL LII: Eagles 41, Patriots 33 Score at the start of the fourth quarter: Eagles 29, Patriots 26

Random observation: I don’t know if we’ll ever know more than we do about why Butler was benched. But it was impossible to believe then, and it remains impossible to believe upon rewatch, that he would not have performed better than Eric Rowe, Johnson Bademosi, and Jordan Richards in pass coverage.

Stuff I forgot: Chris Hogan had just one catch in the fourth quarter, on the possession punctuated with Gronk’s touchdown, but it’s worth remembering that he was one of three Patriots pass catchers to have a monster game, catching six passes for 128 yards and a score. I tended to remember Gronkowski (9-116-2) and Danny Amendola (8-152-0) in a game in which Brandin Cooks got knocked out and Edelman (who missed the season with a knee injury) didn’t play, but not Hogan’s … Despite being close to unstoppable on offense, the Patriots never led until Gronk’s 4-yard touchdown reception put them up, 33-32, with 9:22 left … The biggest non-scoring play of the game? Nick Foles’s 2-yard completion to Zack Ertz on fourth-and-1 from the Eagles 45 with 5:39 left. Trey Flowers was a half-step from getting to Foles.

Coolest moment: I don’t know, the one play Butler was allowed to participate in on special teams? I mean, Foles figured them out. Nick Foles? This is a real low point. This one hurts.

SUPER BOWL LII: Patriots 13, Rams 3 Score at the start of the fourth quarter: Patriots 3, Rams 3

Random observation: I wonder if Jared Goff would still be a Ram today if not for two outcomes on back-to-back plays — a dropped touchdown pass by Cooks with 4:24 left, and an interception by Stephon Gilmore on a terrible, forced pass to Cooks on the next play. Bill Belichick and Brian Flores broke him that day.

Stuff I forgot: Jonathan Jones crushed Goff as he was running toward the sideline with 11:42 left. If you didn’t think of Bledsoe and Mo Lewis at that moment, you must be one of those newer Patriots fans … Here’s a subtle big play: Sony Michel’s 26-yard run, from his own 5 to the 31, with 3:38 left and the Patriots up, 10-3. Amazes me how so many forget how good he was running behind James Develin that postseason … Three plays later, Rex Burkhead also had a 26-yard run. How did they do this up the middle against a defense featuring Aaron Donald and Ndamukong Suh?

Coolest moment: Easy call. Brady’s 29-yard throw to a triple-covered Gronkowski midway through the quarter that set up the game’s only touchdown. That has to be one of the three or four prettiest throws of Brady’s career, and it was the perfect coda to their time as teammates — with the Patriots, at least …

#2021 #nfl #national football league #tom brady #new england patriots

[racingtoaredlight]

RTARL’s NFL Week 7 Extravapalooza

I know this is a football post, but the World Series looks like it’s gonna be great. Verlander, Cole, and Greinke vs. Scherzer, Strasburg, and Corbin is RAD. Especially now that MLB has decided to switch back to the non-juiced baseballs. Nothing says “we care deeply about the integrity of competition” quite like drastically fucking with the league’s official equipment when the games matter most!

The Stros and Nats are very evenly matched in my opinion, but I think I’m gonna take Washington to win based on nothing more than pure bullshit and approximately 25 seconds of thought. Nationals in 6, baby! TAKE IT TO THE BANK!

[looks at my record of picking things]

Congrats to the Houston Astros and their fans!

My picks are in BOLD, and all betting info comes to you courtesy of Vegas Insider.

Last Week’s Record: 6-7

Season Record: 35-49-1

Arizona Cardinals at New York Giants (-3)

Ooh, this is a spicy little meatball of a game. Neither of these teams are what I’d call “good,” nevertheless this one rates very highly on the “Watch ‘Em Up Index” patented by my colleague Starkweather. 

The combination of the “West Coast team travelling East to play an early game” scenario and the triumphant return of Saquon Barkley led me to choose New York to prevail in a shootout. 

Houston Texans at Indianapolis Colts (-1)

Another good game! The Colts deserve all the credit in the world for not going completely into the tank after Andrew Luck decided to call it a career weeks before the season started. They’re legitimately feisty, and it was wrong for me to ever doubt the powers of Jacoby Brissett. 

One thing the Colts do NOT do well is pressure the QB, as they sit at just 26th in the league in Pressure % ( QB pressures (hurries + knockdowns + all sack plays (half and full for players, just full sacks for teams)) per dropback). This leads me to believe that DeShaun Watson will make it through at least one more week without literally exploding into chunks on the field, and when he avoids that he’s usually very good. 

Miami Dolphins at Buffalo Bills (-17)

Holy shit, when was the last time the Bills were favored this heavily? The WAGONS HAVE BEEN CIRCLED! Buffalo QB Josh Allen has played the Dolphins twice in his young career so far, and both times have resulted in an absolute statistical bonanza for fantasy footballers, so if you play DFS or feel like placing any prop bets, I would advise hopping aboard the Allen Train today. 

The Dolphins make me sad. Note that they don’t make me CRY, because I’m not Hootie from Hootie and the Blowfish.

Minnesota Vikings at Detroit Lions (-2)

Man, I feel bad for the Lions. They were boned out of a divisional win on Monday, and now they welcome an even tougher divisional foe on a short week. I still think they’re a good team, but this is a tough spot. My man Kerryon Johnson has NOT had a chance to get it going so far, as for whatever reason the Detroit offensive coordinator is insistent upon trying to run him straight up the middle in obvious running situations as opposed to trying to get him the ball with a bit of space to operate. Seems like a functional running game would take some pressure off of Staff Daddy! Why yes, I am an aggrieved Kerryon Johnson fantasy owner, why do you ask?

The Vikings coming to the realization that their best bet for success is to let Kurt Cousins chuck it all over the yard is hilarious to me, because you know damn well it’s going to cause HC Mike Zimmer’s other eye to explode. His demeanor in press conferences following games where Minny wins after Kurt throws 30+ times could best be described as “just watched his wife’s autopsy.”

Jacksonville Jaguars (-4) at Cincinnati Bengals

Oakland Raiders at Green Bay Packers (-4.5)

I am VERY disappointed that the Raiders have actually been a somewhat competent team so far. Watching Jon Gruden seethe on the sidelines each week was supposed be a major part of my autumn, god damn it. I suppose there’s still time for things to go sideways, but it doesn’t seem like it’ll devolve to quite the level I’d like. 

The Packers’ rush defense isn’t very good, which is unfortunate given that they find themselves up against enormous Oakland RB Josh Jacobs this week. Conversely, the best way to attack Oakland is through the air. Despite having Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay isn’t really in a great position to take advantage of this, given the fact that they have basically zero healthy pass-catchers. This game feels like a low-scoring, field-position battle that ends up being decided by a field goal.

Los Angeles Rams (-3) at Atlanta Falcons

I can’t shake the feeling that this game is going to be a blow-out win for the Falcons, and my instincts are NEVER wrong. You know who the Rams’ back-up QB is? That’s right, it’s BLAKE BORTLES! I know it isn’t likely they’d make a switch given Goff’s huge contract, but how many more stinkbombs are they willing to endure before they begin to feel themselves swaying to the siren song of BORT? Jalen Ramsey may demand another trade if that were to happen.

I truly have no idea what the Falcons will do from week-to-week. I mean, I clearly don’t know what ANY team is going to do, but with Atlanta it’s like, EXTRA uncertainty.

San Francisco 49ers (-9.5) at Washington Football Team

The narrative around this game has mostly been “Kyle Shanahan hates the Washington franchise with the fire of 1000 suns and he desperately wants to crush their hopes and dreams,” which is DELIGHTFUL. This game probably isn’t going to be any fun at all for Case Keenum, and then it will be even less fun for poor Dwayne Haskins if the team throws him in there.

The field at Washington is a notorious piece of shit to begin with, and evidently today it’s extremely soggy there. The Over/Under is currently at 39, and pounding the under doesn’t seem like the worst investment in the world if the game’s gonna be a slop-fest featuring one team that wouldn’t be likely to score a whole hell of a lot even in ideal conditions.

Baltimore Ravens at Seattle Seahawks (-3)

In theory, Seattle has the speed and athleticism along their defensive line and in their linebacking corps to keep Lamar Jackson from completely running wild on them. If that’s the case and Lamar is forced to try to beat them mostly with his arm, I don’t think he can do it. Especially given that his best WR, Marquise Brown, is out for this one.

As far as Seattle goes, Russell Wilson is the best. Evidently the national NFL media reads this picks column, because the “Wilson is the MVP frontrunner” chatter began in earnest on all of the talking-head shows this past week following my praise of the mighty DangeRuss. Clearly, nobody was aware that he was good until I brought it to the world’s attention. I’m predicting this is going to be a breakout game for rookie WR DK Metcalf. TE Will Dissly was a big part of Seattle’s passing offense, and those targets have to go somewhere. That coupled with Baltimore’s extremely shaky pass defense likely focusing the bulk of their meager stopping power on Tyler Lockett leads me to believe that DK will feast. 

Los Angeles Chargers at Tennessee Titans (-2.5)

In last week’s post I joked that it would be hilarious if San Diego blew a lay-up of a game against the thoroughly depleted Pittsburgh Steelers. Well, it turns out that it wasn’t hilarious, it was actually kind of depressing. Do NOT watch any of this game for any reason.

New Orleans Saints at Chicago Bears (-4)

Trubisky BACK! Whether or not that’s actually good for the Bears long-term is certainly up for debate. At the very least, he’s a much more capable scrambler/runner than Chase Daniel, which I think will come in handy today. 

Alvin Kamara being out is huge, obviously. Teddy B not having him around as a world-class safety valve in the face of Chicago’s fearsome pass rush is going to be an issue, I reckon. 

This game has the week’s lowest Over/Under (37) for a reason. 

Sunday Night Game: Philadelphia Eagles at Dallas Cowboys (-2.5)

Neither of these teams are playing particularly inspired football as of late, which is nice. At least some of the Cowboys’ issues can be chalked up to injuries to key players, and it appears they’re going to have everyone back for this one. La’el Collins and Tyron Smith coming back is huge (literally LOL!!!) for the offensive line, and Amari Cooper returning to join Michael Gallup gives them a legitimately dangerous pair of WRs. 

I’m picking the Cowboys to win here, which feels kind of gross, BUT I think in the long term it will only help from a comedy perspective because it increases the odds of Jason Garrett getting a contract extension.

Monday Night Game: New England Patriots (-9.5) at New York Jets

via GIPHY

#NFL #Sports! #Football

[micaramel]

"Glee" ran from 2009 to 2015 and the musical dramedy oftentimes used clothes to help characterize the cast's distinct personalities

Some characters, like Rachel and Tina, change their style significantly as they grow from teenage outcasts to ambitious and confident young adults.

Others, like Emma and Kurt, have a signature style throughout the show's run.

Warning: Major spoilers ahead.

Visit Insider's homepage for more stories.

The musical high-school dramedy "Glee" ran on Fox from 2009 to 2015 and along the way, it showcased a lot of memorable fashions. 

The singing and dancing cheerleaders, jocks, geeks, and outcasts of the fictional William McKinley High School may have been characterized first and foremost by their place in the social hierarchy, but their personalities came through in their music — and, in some part, their clothes.

Here are the first and last outfits of 20 major characters from "Glee."

SEE ALSO: 34 of the best 'Glee' performances of all time

FOLLOW US: INSIDER is on Facebook

We only see a glimpse of Rachel Berry's outfit during her first appearance.

First appearance: 1.1, "Pilot"

Rachel's very first appearance is when she witnesses the former choir teacher inappropriately touching a male student. She looks on, wearing a tortoiseshell headband, a knotted pearl necklace, and what appears to be a black jacket with a flower decal.

Her final look is a simple white dress.

Last appearance: 6.13, "Dreams Come True"

When we last see Rachel, it's on the series' final scene — a musical number featuring the majority of the show's cast.

She's wearing a simple white shift dress and red heels, looking just as feminine but significantly more grown-up than when she kicked off the series as a high-school sophomore. 

Finn Hudson's first look is athletic and casual.

First appearance: 1.1, "Pilot"

Despite being the quarterback, Finn doesn't kick off the series in a jersey. Instead, he's wearing a slightly preppy layered look in neutral colors, possibly hinting at the fluid social status he'll have at the school as the show progresses.

His final look is a button-down plaid shirt.

Last appearance: 4.19, "Sweet Dreams" 

Finn's last physical appearance is as a college student who is helping out the glee club in his spare time. For his final look, he's dressed in a grown-up plaid button-down.

This is the last episode the late Cory Monteith acted in as Finn and is the final episode the character appears in. He later appears a few more times in photos in his memorial episode, "The Quarterback," and in flashbacks from the season-six episode "2009."

Quinn Fabray's first look is, unsurprisingly, a cheer uniform.

First appearance: 1.1, "Pilot"

When we first meet Quinn, she's laughing at Rachel's overly eager YouTube channel and wearing her Cheerios uniform with her tiny cross necklace.

Her final look is an elegant red lace dress.

Last appearance: 6.13, "Dreams Come True"

Yale student Quinn returns for the final number in McKinley school colors, red and white, but this time she's in a red lace dress, looking as prim and polished as ever.

Kurt Hummel's first look includes a statement jacket.

First appearance: 1.1, "Pilot"

The first time he appears, Kurt is about to be thrown into a dumpster. He's wearing a blue moto jacket and carrying a brown leather bag, which Finn allows him to spare from the trash toss.

  His final look is topped off with white ankle boots.

Last appearance: 6.13, "Dreams Come True"

Fashion has always been serious business for Kurt and so it remains. For the final number, he wears a Commes de Garcons shirt, red tie, red pants, a patterned belt, and white booties.

  Artie Abrams' first look is mostly white.

First appearance: 1.1, "Pilot"

From day one, Artie's look has been "geek chic." He first appears in a white shirt buttoned to his chin, khakis, loafers, glasses — and the little white gloves for performing the tune "Sit Down, You're Rocking the Boat."

His final look is a simple red polo.

Last appearance: 6.13, "Dreams Come True"

Artie's geek-chic style stays pretty consistent through the series. He's not wearing driving gloves (or any kind of gloves) when we see him last, but he is wearing a red polo with khakis and a brown belt.

Tina Cohen-Chang's first look is dark and adorned with chains.

First appearance: 1.1, "Pilot"

Tina starts off with a deliberate goth-inspired look, complete with a studded and chained belt, knee-high socks, fingerless gloves, multiple key necklaces, and blue streaks in her hair.

Her final look is much brighter.

Last appearance: 6.13, "Dreams Come True"

Tina's style change may be one of the most pronounced throughout the series. After her goth-girl beginnings during the first couple of seasons, she ends up shedding the accessories and dark colors for more fitted, contemporary outfits.

Her last look is a white blouse with a fun cut and bright-red pants.

  Brittany S. Pierce also kicks off the series in a cheer uniform.

First appearance: 1.2, "Showmance"

Brittany first shows up as a quiet Cheerio and celibacy-club member, blending in with her cheer uniform and side-swept bangs.

  Her final look is a flowy top with red pants.

Last appearance: 6.13, "Dreams Come True"

When Brittany shows up during the final performance, she's wearing a swingy white fringe shirt, which, much like her Cheerios skirt, has a lot of movement and pairs well with her energetic dance abilities.

Mercedes Jones first takes the stage in a shiny jacket.

First appearance: 1.1, "Pilot"

Mercedes first appears at her audition for glee club wearing a gold bomber jacket over layered purple tees with a purple plaid beret and a big, shiny necklace.

  Her final look is nearly all red.

Last appearance: 6.13, "Dreams Come True"

Mercedes' look also streamlines by the show's end. For her final appearance, she wears a red peplum top, floral pants, and wedge heels.

Santana Lopez also kicks off the series in a uniform.

First appearance: 1.1, "Pilot"

Santana is also making fun of Rachel's videos when we first meet her and she's huddled up with other Cheerios in uniform.

Her final outfit is a belted white dress.

Last appearance: 6.13, "Dreams Come True"

Santana is last seen in a stylish and modern white lace dress with a front zipper and a thin red belt.

  Will Schuester's first look is polished and cool.

First appearance: 1.1, "Pilot"

Will lets us know right off the bat that he's a cool teacher, if somewhat downtrodden and oblivious, when he rolls up in his lemon wearing shiny sunglasses and an otherwise straight-laced outfit.

His final look is a red sweater, collard shirt, and jeans.

Last appearance: 6.13, "Dreams Come True"

Schu looks professional and a little more relaxed in his last appearance. He's wearing a shirt and tie layered under a red sweater, paired with jeans and sneakers. His hair also seems to be a little less stiff, which Sue would probably approve of.

Sue Sylvester's first look is perfect for her role.

First appearance: 1.1, "Pilot"

Coach Sylvester first appears during the show's very first scene in her soon-to-be-signature tracksuit in bright WMHS red, plus a little necklace.

  Her final look is ... exactly what you'd expect.

Last appearance: 6.13, "Dreams Come True"

Sue's last appearance isn't so different from her first — she's still making self-aggrandizing cracks and wearing a red tracksuit.

This time, her tracksuit has the seal of the Vice President of the United States and her glasses point to the humbling wisdom she's acquired since her introduction as the glee club's antagonist. 

Emma Pillsbury's first look is fitted and preppy.

First appearance: 1.1, "Pilot"

Emma first appears walking into the faculty lunchroom in one of her signature, put-together ensembles, consisting of a purple cardigan, yellow beaded necklace, knotted blouse, and yellow shoes.

Her final look includes a cardigan and hat.

Last appearance: 6.13, "Dreams Come True"

Emma's style is another that doesn't change much, even as her character develops. For the last musical number, she's wearing a white dress, oversized hat, and red cardigan emblazoned with a ribbon. 

Blaine Anderson's first look is his most popular one.

First appearance: 2.6, "Never Been Kissed"

Blaine first appears when Kurt visits Dalton Academy to spy on the Warblers. He's polished in his Dalton uniform, which consists of a striped tie and navy blazer with red trim. 

  His final look is topped off with a bow tie.

Last appearance: 6.13, "Dreams Come True"

Still preppy and dapper, Blaine joins the glee club for the final song wearing a red gingham shirt, red pants, and a bow tie, which has become his signature accessory. 

Mike Chang's first look is a uniform.

First appearance: 1.4, "Preggers"

When he first appears, Mike Chang is one of the football players who is forced to practice dance steps with glee club. He shows up ready to groove in his practice uniform.

It's tough to capture his final look, but the fast-moving dancer dons a red collared shirt for the finale.

Last appearance: 6.13, "Dreams Come True"

Mike dances onstage during the last number (with his fellow football player Matt, who's been off-the-grid since the first season). He wears a red-and-white polo and slim-fitting white pants.

Sam Evans' first look purposely shows off his arms.

First appearance: 2.1, "Audition"

Sam is first seen at football practice wearing a gray sleeveless hoodie and red athletic shorts — and, of course, he's sporting his surfer-style blond hair. 

His final look includes a major hair change.

Last appearance: 6.13, "Dreams Come True"

Sam is still showing off his physique on the show's finale, albeit in a more subtle way, with a fitted, white pocketed shirt. He's now sporting a hairstyle that's swooped up and out of his eyes. 

Kitty Wilde's first look is, of course, a cheer uniform.

First appearance: 4.1, "The New Rachel"

Kitty, or, "New Quinn," first appears as most Cheerios do — in her uniform. Her hair is up in a performance-regulation ponytail and she's only accessorizing with tiny stud earrings.

  Her final look is a simple white dress.

Last appearance: 6.13, "Dreams Come True"

Like the rest of the Cheerios, Kitty starts and ends glamorously. Her last outfit is a high-necked white bodycon dress with cutouts on the sides.

Marley Rose's first outfit is green and quirky.

First appearance: 4.1, "The New Rachel"

Shy but talented Marley first appears wearing a green T-shirt, floral skirt, tiny necklace, and a gray newsboy cap. 

  Her final look is fun and colorful.

Last appearance: 5.13, "New Directions"

For her last appearance, Marley is wearing another quirky and feminine ensemble — a belted lace dress, a circle scarf, and argyle tights. 

Ryder Lynn first appears in a football jersey.

First appearance: 4.5, "The Role You Were Born to Play"

Ryder is first seen when Finn is out scouting for talent for the glee production of "Grease." A new member of the football team, he's first seen doing an end-zone dance in his practice uniform.

He's nearly unrecognizable in his final look.

Last appearance: 6.13, "Dreams Come True"

Ryder is among the many singing, dancing glee clubbers dressed in McKinley colors for the final number. He wears a red sweater with white pants.

Jake Puckerman shows up in a hoodie and plain T-shirt.

First appearance: 4.1, "The New Rachel"

Jake, the new bad boy and younger Puckerman brother, first appears in a slouchy gray hoodie over a white T-shirt.

  His final outfit is a red collared top.

Last appearance: 6.13, "Dreams Come True"

Having come out of his troubled shell, Jake is no longer hiding behind drab colors and a bad attitude. He wears an all-red ensemble to join the glee club for its final number of the series.

Unique Adams first appears in a toned-down preppy look.

First appearance: 3.16, "Saturday Night Glee-ver"

When Unique first comes to McKinley, she's only wearing dresses and wigs while she is performing onstage. The rest of the time, she's going by her dead name and dressing in more masculine clothes, like this plain sweater vest and gingham shirt.

  Unique's final look is a belted red number.

Last appearance: 6.13, "Dreams Come True"

Unique has come into her own by the show's end. She performs the final number wearing a red blouse and red skirt with a chunky white belt. She has curled, highlighted hair, and she's accessorized with white jewelry.

from Design http://bit.ly/2KMZ2Wt

#micaramel

[monstersmonthly]

Bigfoot and Raminator Double Up in Thrilling Second Day in Lima

Much is the case every year with every jamboree, Saturday’s festivities draw out the largest crowd, and often cause the largest anxiety among competitors. There’s more to do, not as much time to repair, and there’s never any time to relax.

The Allen County Fairgrounds began to really hustle as the gates opened at 9 a.m. for the second day of the O’Reilly Auto Parts 4-Wheel Jamboree June Nationals. The second day this year stunned all the patrons right away when they walked in, but it wasn’t because of what was there, but more what wasn’t. Luck has blessed Lima this year as the skies had some slight cirrus clouds, but the sun was shining bright and looking spectacular. Although the temperatures were a little high, the spirits matched it.

The track crew was hard at work trying to get things ready for the afternoon event of the General Tire Monster Truck Thunder Drags, while the crews were busy doing some adjustments, and repairs, from the day before. Team Evolution, specifically for the Overkill Evolution Ford of Michael Vaters Jr, had the front clip off the truck as they were making some changes in the suspension from the day prior. Teammate, and father, Vaters Sr. had his own power jack out, but instead decided to try and get some better grip on the loose dirt as he swapped the front tires side-to-side, pointing the tread in reverse.

Everyone else in the field seemed satisfied with what they had, and they rolled out to the infield for an early afternoon performance, with a packed crowd in the grandstands to match.

The blind draw setup a heavyweight face-off right away with Vaters Jr. taking on the previous day’s winner, Mat Dishman in Raminator. But, a quick reaction time put the Ford on the trailer. At the same time, Brandon Derrow moved forward in Bad News Travels Fast to the second round, while Christian Norman seemed to enjoy his newly-bodied Lucas Oil Bigfoot, as he moved ahead as well taking out Kurt Kraehmer in the General Tire machine.

Unfortunately, the first round wasn’t without casualties, as in his first-round loss to Derrow, Vaters Sr. pulled off the track to the gate ready to head to the pits. The problem was, his truck wasn’t under power at all. A quick word during a break in the tough truck competition revealed that the Black Stallion had lost a transmission, and they needed to push the truck down the hill, before pulling it back to the hauler.

Back on the track, Kraehmer got a reprieve as he came back as the fast loser, only to lose again to Norman. Dishman, meanwhile, advanced to the finals for a second day, and was ready to go full-tilt against a rival team.

The final round had the crowd split, and both drivers left the line hard, but the RAM was pulling just a bit harder, and nipped the Ford at the line, giving Dishman his second consecutive racing win, and giving him a healthy point gap heading into the next bracket.

Fans stuck around and were excited to see the newly added best-trick competition to the action, but what they didn’t expect was the eventual winner. However, it was bound to happen to the jamboree rookie. After having to watch Kraehmer do a strong set of donuts, and Vaters Jr. make a pair of attempts at a popper, it was Derrow’s opportunity to shine. His Bad News Chevrolet looked like it wanted to stand on the back bumper, and on his second attempt, everything bounced just right.

The black-and-yellow machine stood straight up on the wheelie bar, and slowly walked right down the front straightaway to almost the end of the concrete barriers.

Not even a solid attempt by Norman, and both a donut-wheelie combination by Dishman was enough.  For the first time in his career, and with his dad watching in the stands while also on the headset plus his girlfriend, Ashley, and his two kids looking on, Derrow had a jamboree victory to his credit.

All that was left for the afternoon was freestyle, and that was when things heated up with performances that were career-bests, and breakage that could have been chaotic.  Kraehmer started things off with a strong outing, including a pair of solid wheelstands that he was trying for the last couple years at this show to accomplish.  Derrow then followed his victory with another excellent freestyle that included a few walking wheelstands over the racing lanes, and a few big hits off the two quad stacks in the corners.

Then, Vaters Jr. hit the track, and he was putting on a run that was going to be hard to top.

Big hits on the stacks, pulverizing the turning tires for the tough trucks, and even knocking over the dividing concrete barrier for the tough trucks were part of his run.  He kept going full-tilt with each hit, until one suddenly let off a loud shot of air.  Everyone thought a tire had popped, but in fact the issue was the cap on one of the rear shock accumulators had shot off, knocking the safety guard for the accumulator cap right onto the track.  Immediately he pulled around and headed to the pits, but not after a solid outing.

Norman then came out wanting to go even bigger than what had just been thrown down, but on his second hit he launched the #18 chassis to the sky, but on the landing the truck had a pronounced lean, and when he went to spin around at the other end of the track, lead track official Lee Collins hit the remote shut-off, as a broken sway bar put a halt to his performance.

Dishman, try as he might, could not put up a run that could match, and yet with a broken truck, Vaters Jr. took his first freestyle victory of the 2019 season.

SATURDAY RACING:

Round 1:  Raminator def. Overkill Evolution; Bad News Travels Fast def. Black Stallion; Lucas Oil Bigfoot def. General Tire

Semi-Finals:  Raminator def. Bad News Travels Fast; Lucas Oil Bigfoot def. General Tire-FL

Championship:  Raminator def. Lucas Oil Bigfoot

 The Saturday crowd made their way to the midway, and into the show-and-shine area to look at some of the stunning vehicles on display, while the entire pit area for the monsters had work to be done.  For the Ram teams, they were good to go, as they just topped off fuel and checked things over.  Derrow’s team looked at the rear end for a little while, however there was nothing to be of concern, aside from cleaning up the body.

Norman and his crewman, Bigfoot #12 handler Drue Epler, had a bit more work to do, but the sway bar replacement was a quicker fix for the team as it’s something this truck has experienced before, in testing no less.

But, an all-hands-on-deck approach came when it involved the Vaters’ trucks.  The son had the shock removed, and all the teams were going hard at it to get the suspension fixed.  But, with less than an hour until show time, the “Alien Nation” fan base was worried as the truck still had only the coil shock on the right rear, with the second shock on the bench vice.  The truck had a high stance while being worked on, but it was overheard that at least for the night, the team was going to run the truck with only the single shock on the rear.  How it would handle was uncertain, but they were going to try it if needed.

Black Stallion, however, needed more work than expected.  Not only did the transmission need replaced, but the team also had to work on the transfer case, so the entire driveline needed to be either swapped or repaired, and it was clear he, along with his son, were not going to make introductions for the Saturday night event, a freestyle-only showdown among the trucks.

Yet, with all the odds against them, both the Vaters machines were rolling out during a stoppage in the tough truck action and headed to the pits.  A six-pack of machines were going to go after the third freestyle title of the weekend.  Vaters, and his son, asked to go first, that way they each could head back to the pits and if needed have the most time to do more repairs to their designated machines.

Father put on his best run of the weekend, as the F150 soared on a few occasions off the racing lanes before the rear steer seemed to not return as fast as normal.  The son, however, decided that a single shock is all he needed.

After failing on his third popper attempt of the weekend, the former World Freestyle Champion began to drive angry, and if it was a hill, made of dirt, or was in his way, it was getting hit.  The momentum the 2019 Super Duty held for an entire run was non-stop, and at a few points seemed as though it was not going to end well.  At one point, the Overkill Evolution machine hit the side of a quad stack, but did so while cornering, getting on just one tire and still holding on to roar back in front of the crowd for a final salute.

Derrow repeated a strong performance in the afternoon, and even the best run by Kraehmer at a jamboree, could not top it.  Dishman tried as he might, even with a slight puckering of rain falling, yet could not top the performance of the defending champion.

If one guy had a chance to do just that, it was the Bigfoot crew, and apparently the idea of the paint scheme on the Bigfoot machine lit a fire under last year’s racing champion.  Everyone that has seen the Bigfoot team at the jamborees remembers the subtle hint at the paint scheme that was put on the truck this year, a flashback to 26 years ago when Andy Brass stepped into a then-new Bigfoot #11.  But, without the Bigfoot name as his previous truck still had it.

One infamous wheelie run later, “Wildfoot” was set in granite.  So, as fans began taking on calling it the Lucas Oil “Wildfoot”, Norman hit the track to close out the night with a freestyle that was nothing short of wild.

Norman skied out the Ford Raptor on both quad stacks, along with the tire bump down the front stretch.  He nailed a wheelie that saw the wheelstand bar dig into the dirt, and almost cause him to roll onto his side.  But, he brought it back and kept on hammering the beast across the infield.  The only time he decided to call it a night came on his final sky shot on the racing lane, as when he landed the tie rod broke on the rear end, causing the right rear tire to point inward while the left rear was still functioning.  That run, with a full clock and a crowd in a frenzy, made him two-for-three on the weekend, and showed that Bigfoot was meaning business in freestyle this season.

A final show remains this weekend for the monsters, as a 3 p.m. finale will have racing, best trick, and freestyle.  The last show of the weekend has always been nicknamed the “go home” performance, because there’s no reason to play conservative any longer.

Can Dishman make it a sweep?  Is Norman getting wild one more time?  Will there be carnage?  Could the weekend end without seeing the dreaded r-word?  Fans can still get tickets at the gate and see this field tear it up one more time before the tour heads east.

 POINT STANDINGS (2 of 9 Events)-Wins in Brackets

Raminator – 320 [2]

Lucas Oil Bigfoot – 200

Overkill Evolution – 160

Bad News Travels Fast – 160

General Tire – 120

Black Stallion – 80

 BEST TRICK

Overkill Evolution – 1

Bad News Travels Fast – 1

FREESTYLE

Lucas Oil Bigfoot – 2

Overkill Evolution – 1

About The Author

A fan since 1988, at the age of 3, Dustin became more involved in the monster truck industry in the last decade. Through his website, All About Horsepower, and images at Horsepower Photography, he provides great insight into the sport.

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