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#stinky man delegation

prophetrick · 2 years

Note

Heyo. If you're still offering, can you show us what Yasuhiro's good, bad and Shiba endings would look like please?

OOC: This took too long for me to accept any more. All three endings are here, them taking so long was why I haven’t said too much. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) Kekeke.

Good End: The Ties That Bind 🎶: The Spinner

It's been a wild ride. I've decided to stay with the Future Foundation for a bit. But the world is calling me, see. I know I can do so much more out there! So when I feel good and ready, I'll leave it. That doesn't mean I'll burn the bridges I've built there, of course.

Madda being a nurse, it only makes sense for her to stay where she can work. If I get the chance, I help out when I get the chance. Once I find a good way to travel, I'll ask if she wants to come with me. We've been away from each other for so long, y'know? I'm not sure if I even want to find where the rest of the family is. She doesn't seem all that worried about finding her mother or Dad, so I won't bother. My only regret is that I couldn't take her to the places she wanted to go to before the world went belly up. I think I can make up for lost time!

I'm still in the fourteenth branch. I swear, man, Toges has been riding my tail more since Naegs and Kirikins left. His heart's grown more. Still a dick, and that's not going to change any time soon. He'll do things like "I'm gonna give you some of my men and these things and we'll help you get back on your feet" but he has these smiles he does try to hide that show up on a rare occasion. I mean, I guess that's his job. He's doing what he was born n' bred to do. What I have noticed is that, if he has a greater sense of trust in you, he'll "delegate" more tasks in your direction. My aching bod can sing to that! But he won't do anything that he wouldn't do on his own, so it's not just him bossing people around for the sake of it. He means what he says, says what he means and follows through with it. Love him or hate him, he's a man true to his word.

Touko is growing, too. With her, it used to be one step forward, two steps back. Touko's been standing up straighter and she isn't quite as stinky. I worry about her the most, y'know? Even if we've never seen eye to eye, I guess it's because when I think about, we could have ended in the same spot. Watching her be big sis to Komaru is so cute. It makes me wish I had a little brother of my own. She's a full member of the Future Foundation now. When she got her uniform, you better believe we were there to celebrate. But there was this one look she gave Toges, and I don't think I'll be forgetting it any time soon. She had a lop-sided frown, but she looked so determined. She's always had an intensity about her--especially when it came to Togamins--but this time…you know that look someone has when they're climbing right out of rock bottom? Yeah, that was it. It doesn't mean Sho is gone. Nah, we don’t get that luxury. Touko and Sho have come to a kind of compromise, by the look of it. They're two faces of a coin, and when part of you is a serial killer, maybe that compromise is better. Especially when you're part of a group trying to restore the world, maybe that was for the best. I can't tell if Sho is ever kidding or not when she's out; she pesters me the most if it isn't Toges she's bothering. I don't want her scissors pointed at my neck, but it's like…since Komaru's been more involved, even Sho has her times of being…decent. Sho of all people! Who'd have thought that? Touko is just as determined to continue writing. Me and Aoi will drop food off when she holes herself off to write. She always sounds mean, but we can hear her voice soften. Kameko is always there on her desk, and that's for the better. I remember when Kameko would stink up the place whenever we'd walk into the room. I never thought about it, but maybe that might also be why Touko stinks to high heaven most of the time. Hmm..

Speaking of Aoi, she's not that much different. She's still grieving, but I think that she's going to push herself into exhaustion if we don’t pester her properly. I can't allow that on my watch. Yuta was Aoi's brother, and now, she doesn't have any blood family. Sometimes I see her gazing out over the sea with a forlorn look on her face when she sits on the beach. When I get the chance, I'll bring her some tea and listen to her. One day, Aoi and I were talking about Obon and the festival food while we were sitting on the beach. It was a good time. Aoi had a bright smile and laughed as she told me about something from her childhood. There was no trace of sadness or hurt in her voice or on her face. The only thing that gave away her emotions was that she was looking out to the ocean again. Her hair was blowing gently as she sat there watching the water, and the breeze made her ponytail flutter in the wind. The sight made my heart ache. So I told her that if she needed me to, I'd go back with her. We're gonna see Yuta in the future, I know it. She's not going to like what she sees.

Is it going to be like this for Toges? Naegikins and Kirikins? This is gonna be rough..

Naegs and Kirikins have gone off to remake Hope's Peak. I…couldn't say that I agreed with that. The only thing I could do was send word to a couple of monks to bless the place considering the place was just teeming with nega-vibes. The full nine yards, y'know? I mean, think about it. There had to have been at least a hundred dead bodies on the campus including the "game" I was in. That plot of land has to have soaked up a lot of malice and blood. It's gotta be cursed! But maybe his thought was to turn something good from something awful? I got love for 'em, so you know we gotta meet up for a good meal every now and then. Maybe the monks helped Kirikins? They'd have more spiritual power than me. I've never asked her because she's such a private person, but she knows I'll be there to help her with that no matter what. Same with Naegs and Komaru. They haven't find their parents yet.

My new family? They need me here, right now. So I'll leave the Future Foundation when I've helped them close up their loose ends.

It's funny how I always thought that I'd be much better going au solitare. Buddha said that attachment is the root of all ills. I believed that wholeheartedly, but it was solely to justify lashing out.

Yet here I am, standing tall with people to grab, and people who are keeping me on the ground instead of flying off into space…

I'm happy like this.

@@@@@

Shiba End: Mira’s Liar Cake 🎶: Out of This World 3 Okay, final trial! We gotta search for evidence to help us with figuring out the murder of the body we found in the garden.

No pressure, right?

Ahaha...man, what messed up spot to be in. Yeah, we gotta solve this, but we're the ones on trial too!

So I start from the top down. Fifth, fourth, third and so on. I came across a picture or two, and it didn't quite sit well with me. We were posed to kill each other, so why so many smiling faces? I'm not in the pictures, either...

Some rooms were hard for me to go in. Those....classrooms on the fifth floor, the pool, rec room...those rooms freak me out the longer I'm there. My hands go all clammy, my chest feels like it's going to snap shut... And I wasn't going to touch the morgue. Hell no.

Naegs and I bump into each other, and the feelings compound until it's unbearable. I avoided him whenever I could.

Along the way, I've picked up some weird-looking coins hiding underneath some of the other spots. Table corners, beakers, even around the kitchen. I remembered there was a capsule machine in the school store, and after what we've seen, I wouldn't be surprised if there was some kind of room in there that we hadn't looked over. This not-so-funhouse would have that kind of stuff. I hook around, switching things up to move through the first floor to the second to keep Naegs at a good distance and wind up at the school store. The capsule machine is saved for last; I wanted to see if I could find anything else in the room. If we get to leave, it could be worth selling. Who wouldn't want a piece of memorabilia? There's plenty of people who would, so why should I refuse?

I finally get to play with the machine, putting coins in with reckless abandon. I know we've got time against us, so I just wanna sneak in a few things. I wish I came here before. So many nifty litlle knick-knacks! I guess it makes sense that they'd have OOPArts to study. Kinda weird how the contraptions can come out of the armor, though..

Among the trinkets I've found was a disk with a dog's picture on it. A shiba dog. As much as I want to find comfort in it, my stomach wretches when I know I have to go back up to the cd room.

If there's one silver lining, it's that I can finally rest my legs a little.

All right, onto the next room. I stick the disk in drive and let 'er rip.

When I was here the last time, it was when the rides to the trial room weren't empty and didn't remind us how flushed out our numbers were. We had been given our motive videos. Mine mother, paralyzed by medicine and chained to a hospital bed. What she wore was a mockery to her profession, the scantily kind of thing you'd see in Shinjuku.

I'm not a man prone to smacking stuff around, but I almost wanted to throw the chair into the screen when I saw that. At the time, I thought it was a really sick prank. Boy, was I wrong.

Here was a code on the computer screen. U, u, d, d, l, r, l, r, enter.

I typed the computer keys as I chewed on my bottom lip. There was click behind me, and I instinctively leapt into the air. If my heart hadn't been in my rib cage, I swear it would have hit the ceiling first!

This game...I hate this place so much.

I looked around and find no one else's come in. Good. I walked to the spot where I heard the click. I saw where there had been a part of the wall that looked like a latched door. I knew that there was another secret somewhere, just like one of those horror games!

...Oh. I guess I'm in something like that right now, huh? Well, if I find a way out through this door, we don't even have to go through the trial, 'right?

I open the door and hear it shut closed when I go through. Ahead of me was a sterile, industrial-looking corridor. The clicking of my geta and the sound of my heartbeat became more pronounced as the endlessness of the hallway began to swallow the light.

I'm not sure how long it took me to get to a door. My nose hit it before I recognized any solid surface. Like, ow?!

My hands fumbled around the door for anything to open it, and the only sounds I could hear were my rattled breath. Sweat beads dripped down my forehead, and I think it would have reverberated if it dropped on the floor.

I just need to keep it together. Right! Come on, let's open the door!

It opens without effort when I turn the handle. Small lights flickered in a circle.

I took a few steps inside. Everything was still dark. "M... Mom?" I whispered loudly. The darkness made my voice feel like an echo in my own ears. "Naegs? Anyone?!" There was no reply. I took a deep breath before moving forward into the pitch black room. It was cold. There was nothing there but me and my footsteps echoing off the walls. Suddenly, everything began to light up as if someone had turned on a switch. It blinded me for a moment until I finally focused back on the space. At first it seemed like a giant disco ball, and then I realized that it was a camera. A large one. One of those huge ones, with a massive screen that looked like it could take up half the ceiling. But that wasn’t what caught my eye. The circle of lights was revealed to be a cake with candles. No more than eleven. None of us were kids..so what those candles were for everyone that...

I don't have enough time to dwell on it when a dog steps forward wearing a tin foil hat. It's a shiba inu, I'd recognize that breed. I didn't say a word as it trotted closer, sniffing at me with its muzzle. My hand automatically reached out toward its head, petting him behind his ear. He wagged his tail happily as we moved toward the table, where the cake sat. Behind him were what I could only see pod beds too small for people. The dog barked and turned his head towards the pods, his tail smacking the table. When I turned my attention over to the pods, something inside of me crumpled. The candles were the same amount of pods. They were all full with sleeping shibas.

Except one.

The dog turned to me and stood up to nudge the cake with his paws on the table, his tail gingerly wagging. Then he pawed at it again, whining slightly.

"I'm not hungry, lil' dude," I told him, feeling a chill run down my spine. "I got something to take care of." Truest of truths, I wasn't! This room feels weird, and I couldn't remember if I heard the bell for the class trial! Besides, dogs don't do well with chocolate cake! His ears perked up and he began barking, turning around to look back at the pods. "I'm not hungry," I repeated. "No."

The shiba got off the table, fur bristling with a newfound rage. He leaped, knocking me to the ground. I landed hard on my shoulder and tried to get up, but before I could his jaws latched onto my shirt. And just like that, he dragged me across the floor to the table. His eyes, wild with anger, bore holes into mine, begging me to reconsider. I felt tears spring to my eyes, but I swallowed them down, trying to ignore the pain shooting up my arm. With everything I had, I pulled out from under him, stumbling over to stand on shaky legs. He let go of my shirt and took a few paces back, watching me carefully. I took a deep breath. Inhale. Hold. Exhale. And repeat. Slowly, I picked my way back to where the table was set, pulling myself up onto the chair. The dog stayed where I had left him, watching me intently. He didn't move until I started cutting some of the cake. His eyes followed me every so often. I ate as fast as I possibly could, ignoring the pain running up and down my shoulder. I managed to finish most of the cake, wiping frosting and sprinkles off of my hands on my pants. The dog's irritable mood vanished, and the jovial tail-wagging resumed. "That's all?" I asked. The shiba yipped, seemingly happy that I’d been a member of the clean plate club.

The dog just wanted me to eat the cake? Could this get any weirder?!

So much for tempting fate.

With sluggish, painful movements, I rose up from the table. After that, everything seemed to move in slow motion. It took three tries before my balance returned, which only made it more difficult to keep moving forward. The shiba followed me with his dark gaze, never breaking its steady stare. As I reached for the door handle, it came alive with movement again. The dog stood at attention, his tongue hanging out and lolling in a kind of uneven smile. My fingers touched the cold metal knob. My knuckles were white with tension, and my grip was shaking so badly, I feared that my hand would crack if I moved it any further. It was too late to turn around now. The chill made goosebumps rise on my arms. I shuddered. A wave of vertigo struck me, nearly causing me to lose my balance again. The world swayed dangerously as my feet slid against the tiled floor. When my hand closed around the door handle, I refused to let go and I steadied myself once more. The dog watched from the other side and stood there.

Everything went numb, from my forehead to the toe tips.

I've been poisoned. I'm down here right before the trial and I'm poisoned! It was either get mauled by the cake-serving mutt!

My vision swims. It's no longer focused on the damn dog, but sixteen dogs with goldfish bowls for helmets floated through a backdrop of stars. Behind them, a fleet of spaceships. In them, I found a whole swath of aliens. Some of them were grey tadpoles in robot suits, short green men with antennae and pointed ears, and a crystal-crusted dolphin with a double-helix mark on one of his fins.

On the other side, I noticed that the stars had been blotted out by an ocean of mice-like aliens with long noses. They were backed by ships which could not and should be floating in space. Bricks would have had better hang time in the air. The aliens inside in them were evolutionary mockeries that the gods hit with shovels and left to rot in the sun. High above the Earth, they're positioned in a way that would make a bitchin' action movie poster.

At this point, I've resigned myself to my fate.

I thought I was supposed to have my life flash before my eyes when I alive long enough to die, but I guess that's not the case with me. My body is probably riddled the worst case of the shakes. I can't tell, because I'm barely keeping it together in my own mind, oh and I'm pretty sure I'm dying! The rest of the gang probably won't even be able to use my body to help them figure out what happened! It just dawned on me that the dog had something to do with the bodies in the morgue, the cake, and the pods. I don't know what he's going to do with me now, and I can only pray for forgiveness with what few brain cells I have left. No one would believe me even if I were to tell them about the whack-a-doodle dogs and the aliens this time.

Guys, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

@@@@@ Bad End: Skullarva 🎶: Premonition I thought that to follow Buddha's words, I couldn't get close to anyone. And you know what? That was the easy part.

I thought that I just wasn't the kind of guy who could make good friends. It always seemed like, for me, it was too good to be true. No matter how hard I tried, I never could be "good". I was always "bad". Oh, sure, I can do business. That's never been too bad. So seeking Nirvana wasn't a problem. I liked keeping people on their toes when I'd confuse the crap out of them with the occult stuff. Better to have them out of my hair when I'm actually dealing with ghosts. Money was my favorite thing, so I need people to survive. It's primary thing I chase before the next lifetime.

If there's one thing I'm really good at... it's avoiding relationships and attachments. That way, no one can hold anything over me. And even though I hate to admit it, it's easier having no one to worry about me too much. Or me worrying about them. Either is fine by me. My own rules, rules I built up in an effort to protect myself.

But I am human, after all. What a temptation it is when I see people just...chilling out and doing the kind of things people do. It's how most people are hard-wired. We're supposed to bond and laugh with each other!

If I achieved Nirvana, then I wouldn't have to worry about that hollow, nagging feeling. Dealing with with it? It was the hard part. I knew that I was shutting myself off, but that's what I thought I was supposed to do. I've fought myself for so long because of it. I've even prayed to the gods to dull the pain. Help me cope with it. I've always hated that I felt that profound emptiness. How much better off I'll be if I didn't feel that way? I've tried my best, but I gave up on the living in that way. I'd still live, of course! I'm too much of a coward to do anything else, and I rather like having my stuff. After graduating from Hope's Peak, no one saw from the class saw too much of me. I can't be the comic relief for too much, y'know? I gotta get to work!

Plus, I had an epiphany.

I've been going about Nirvana all wrong. Nirvana wasn't exclusion. It's bringing people in! And ghosts want to feel included on some level, right? They wouldn't be hanging around with their unfinished business. So that got me thinking...

What if I use my body as a house for them? I was already doing that before--on a more one-to-one level. Once their affairs were finished, they'd pass on for real. We'd have an arrangement for them to leave me a little somethin'-somethin'. A nugget of knowledge, some item they'd "bless" before they left..I'd take just about anything they were willing to give me. I needed some nest eggs to make a better home.

I'd search around for the lonely lil' ones, and if they wanted in, they'd have in. It was hard at first, this multi-tasking. Those monks and shrine maidens would probably have a better way to deal with it. I'm not looking to get a free burning bath courtesy of that holy water they use! Nope! Never! It takes time to become "well-adjusted" after I get someone new, and I've worked so hard to keep who I've got now. I'm not quite as much of a coward now that time's passed. That nagging feeling's gone away. Maybe this was what the gods meant for me to do when they were so quiet? It definitely helps when keeping the more unruly ghosts in line--many hands make light work. I've had some challengers, too...and I only take on anyone I predict I can win against. I wouldn't want whatever they've got go to waste...waste not, want not. Since I might beat them, well, I just eat them. They're not people anymore at that point. Oh, yes..you can "eat them". You might be asking, what's the difference between being possessed and eating them? Makes no sense, right? The difference is that one way doesn't grind them up into nothingness. The other way? They're still with you, and you can talk to them. I've done well to keep up some normalcy! I've been lying about the occult for years, so people don't really bat an eye. And the ones I've picked up don't seem to mind...in fact, we've been trying to figure out a way to refine that gnarly taste of rotten meat jelly with gummy tofu chunks taste into a smooth, velvety melts-like-butter-in-your-mouth-steak taste. I...should probably correct myself. We've found it's easier to keep us bound together. It's like...have you ever tried to make a batter? You use the eggs to bind the bread, right? Same principal!

But you know what's bothersome? It's happening little by little, but our toes and fingers are starting to turn blue. We can delay it whenever we find someone new to welcome, but it gets worse after a while. No matter how much cologne we use, or how many baths we take, a bad smell follows us. Gloves and socks can only do so much. It's manageable for right now..and to make matters worse, the hunger doesn't stop. But that's okay, as long as we've got each other. You've already come home, so that we can properly welcome you. You don't have to be alone, either. It's okay. Don't be afraid. We're going to become something much better, I promise! These are growing pains, y'know? Nirvana is other people, and I wish I had seen that sooner. If a man doesn’t have companions, he’ll turn to vice. That’s the truth. Rather than hitting the hard stuff, I chose something much better. That’s good enough, right?

#ptdrabbles #thank you for the ask!#but you know me....i have to have some cringe somewhere #the shiba ending be like that #( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)#tldr it's really not a good idea to leave yasuhiro alone #bad endings would take place when he's been socially isolated and left alone to his own devices #the fourth wall will not protect anyone from him either i guess #better to keep an eye on him #i'm proud of that cringy-ass shiba ending #not everyday you get to see some weirdness like that #who would have guessed that magic cake is indeed a real thing?#it's an actual cake #but the shibas have humanity's interest in mind...#or do they?#so let's see what makes up the shiba ending?#the cringiest crossover ever #add a sprig of silent hill with one part earthbound #combine with hitchhiker's guide to the galaxy and a bowl of ecco the dolphin #sprinkle with dangan ronpa togami #add a cup of toy story #let's sprinkle in some cowardice and regret for good measure B)#this is why i can't write fanfiction guys #i'm not allowed #at the very least here's a hc about what was on the computer screen at the start of dr1 #tw body horror #body horror tw

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theladysexpistol · 4 years

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omg bree i just had a big brain moment: hcs for mista and narancia with a extremely ticklish s/o? how would they find out?

Helloooo autumn apologies for this being in my inbox for so long 💕

It confirmed, factual, you have the biggest brain in the JoJo fandom

~~~

Mista

- Mista is very touchy with his s/o. His arms are always around them in some capacity. He definitely finds out when he drags his fingers over your tummy and you start giggling

- Once the can of worms is opened, you can never go back. Mista is merciless, to almost a cruel degree.

- He will ambush you. He’ll grab you in the kitchen and throw you on the couch and start tickling you until you cry.

- Thinks it’s absolutely hilarious and will tickle you to comfort you or just when the two of you are chilling together

- He absolutely recruits others to help him. Gets Giorno to distract you. He’s evil!

- He’s not super ticklish himself, unless you get him under his armpits. Payback time.

Narancia

- Narancia is so totally super ticklish himself. Figures out you are because he goes to tease you and you burst into giggles just like he does

- Dating Narancia is just filled with tickle fights

- These fights have had many casualties

- Seriously they go on forever, at least until the two of you are cramping from laughing too much

- Unlike Mista he will not ambush you he will only go for the tickles if you’re cuddling

- He will wiggle ticklish objects at you like feathers and the like

- Narancia’s stomach is the most ticklish spot. If you get him good there by surprise you win very quickly

#bree writes #jojo headcanons #mista x reader #narancia x reader #stinky man delegation #request 💖#fluff #my two boys #my two perfect boys

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hankwritten · 3 years

Text

Crinoline

Demoman/Soldier, 3k

Request for hyper messed up, Masquerades

“You’ve already managed to get cocktail sauce on your finery. Fantastic.” Spy pressed two fingers against the bridge of his nose, nails making little indents the sequined cloth that had replaced his usual mask. He’d also changed into a different name for the evening, but Jane had aggressively forgotten it; he would always be Spy, and that was that.

“No one’s looking at our frilly blouses, crouton,” Jane said. “It is amazing they aren’t blinded entirely with how much glitter we’re wearing, let alone see past all this glitz-crap to notice a little shrimp juice.”

“You’d be surprised how keenly the eyes in this room are watching.”

This, Jane speculated, was not said to him in particular, but rather Spy talking to himself as his gaze swept over the party. He did that sometimes. Just babbled about like Jane was another piece of fancy furniture.

“Just lie low,” Spy reminded him. “Keep your ears open, see if you can learn something that might be to our advantage. You remember what we’re going here, yes?”

“We are getting the war back on!” Jane brightened instantly.

“No,” Spy hissed, covering Jane’s mouth with a gloved palm, glancing around in case anyone had heard them. “Not tonight, at the very least. We are merely looking for an opportunity that, should the King wish it, we could use to spark something out of the stagnant peace Cerulea has been forced into.”

That all sounded like getting the war back on to Jane. “Cssfr,” he corrected around Spy’s hand. Spy rolled his eyes, and withdrew it. “Ceasefire,” Jane repeated. “Not peace.”

“Yes, yes, whatever satisfies your constant and vocal bloodlust,” Spy waved away. “That doesn’t change our job. Rub some elbows. Blend in.”

“These dinky little masks really going to keep anyone from recognizing us?” Jane self-consciously pushed at his half mask as he said it. “Maybe they’re inviting Ceruleans into their shindig, but that doesn’t make us in particular welcome.”

“You wear a helm on the battlefield. Trust me, as long as you don’t start shouting ‘die Scarlet scum’ in that baritone you oh so love to show off, no one’s going to match a voice to a name. We are anonymous, General. Just as everyone else.”

Jane growled. He didn’t belong here among fancy wines and stinky cheeses—he should be back out on that battlefield, but as long as doddering nobles were clicking their heels at ceasefire, he was stuck here playing spy. The men and women around him talked of peace and stability but, he could smell the venom underneath, rancor in every vein as they patted themselves on the back for plugging a dam with a thumb. Too much bad blood had been spilt, and no grand masquerade would un-spill it.

They were all pampered up with elegant gowns and find doublets that could buy a whole company’s supply of swords, wearing masks that shed their national identities in the spirit of camaraderie. Or hid them, in Jane’s case. His mask was an even balance of red, white, and blue, no clue as to the terror of the man underneath, who’d last summer stood across enemy lines from some of the very people in this room.

“I see you’re giving this your upmost concentration,” Spy deadpanned as Jane scanned the ballroom. “Let us split up then. I have no doubt that will make at least one of us more efficient.”

Jane let him go with a shrug.

At least the food was good. He helped himself to more shrimp, and walked through the chatting masks as their voices turned to noise around them. In the center people danced, swaying in time to the music, an overwhelming concerto that filled the vaulted ceilings despite their size. Despite his contempt…maybe it was a little beautiful. It chased and swelled-

And at its crescendo, Jane caught sight of him.

A man, dressed in black and gold, a long sash tied over one shoulder and stretching down to cover his arm, stood still as the crowd undulated around him—an anchor among swaying kelp. Instead of the standard upper mask to cover the eyes, his instead hid the entire left half of his face, not even a gap in the lacquer for an eyehole. What could be seen was impossibly handsome: dark skin, immaculately kept facial hair that revealed the strength of his jaw, a smile that quirked as he tilted back his drink. As though he knew something no one else in the world did.

Jane was so struck, he couldn’t even glance away when he turned and met his eyes. The mystery man’s grin grew even wider.

A heat in his cheeks, Jane beat a hasty retreat into the throngs, berating himself all the while. What was that about? He couldn’t be getting all flustered at random strangers he met eyes with across a crowded ballroom, not when there was a mission on.

He shook himself, and took a drink off the nearest tray. It was time to eavesdrop, then. The Scarlet King hadn’t show up yet, but Redmond was half-dead anyway, and he had plenty favored families underneath him that might have a key to the kingdom. Or a key to the kingdom’s destruction, preferably. He’d almost managed to make another circuit of the ballroom when someone crashed into his side.

“Ach, sorry there lad,” a rich voice greeted him, steadying Jane’s drink so it didn’t go flying over them both. “Seems we both came at each other a bit fast, eh?”

Jane lifted his head, and his mouth went dry. It was the same stranger from before, now inches away from him, a warm hand around Jane’s wrist.

“You.” Jane had meant it to come out as an accusation, but his tongue wouldn’t behave the way he wanted it to. “Are you following me?”

“Me? Nah,” the man said. “This was probably a coincidence. Hand of fate. Couldn’t be that I saw a good looking man and came over because I thought he might be interesting to talk to.”

“Well jokes on you, buster. I have been told many times that I am a terrible conversational partner!”

“Dunno ‘bout that,” he replied with a twinkle in his single visible eye. “We’ve only been talking for half a minute and I’m already having a much better time than I was before.”

Jane found he couldn’t look away from that smile, that he hadn’t yet pushed the friendly hand away. It took a concentrated effort to avert his gaze. “You’ve got some odd tastes then.”

“Maybe. But I would like to talk with you more…If that’s alright?”

For the first time the easy charm slipped slightly from the man’s face, and Jane couldn’t help but feel bad for being so brusque. Mission, he reminded himself, but…dammit.

“It’s alright,” Jane said, a little too eagerly. “I mean, I would like that. To talk to you more. Even if you mince your words obtuse and confusing ways!”

The stranger chuckled, patient and mild. “Glad my obtusedness isn’t off-putting.”

“Your obtusedness also isn’t a word.”

“Isn’t it? Maybe I’m just mincering it.” He grinned as Jane snorted, and offered, “you want to take a step outside? You look a little warm.”

He was, hot around the collar where this man had made him feel in minutes with just a few flirtatious words. The veranda was sweet relief then, looking over the sprawling gardens, staircases on either side that could take you down into mazelike hedges below. Several couples milled about in the cool night air, but far fewer than inside, and Jane already felt better.

“Place is like a sardine can,” Jane noted as he leaned backwards against the railing.

“Aye, seems like the whole country’s in there.”

It struck Jane that he didn’t know which country he meant, that he might’ve quite possibly been lured out here by a Scarlet. He didn’t want to believe that though; it was better to think this wasn’t his hated enemy, that as long as he didn’t know he could pretend they were both blue at heart. Or, hell, even the neighboring countries of Amberny and Chartruel had sent delegates to mooch off the finger food, why couldn’t it be one of them?

So actively was he blocking out alternatives, he realized it was his turn to speak, and the stranger had been waiting on him for a minute now. “So,” he began, haltingly, “what’s your name?”

“Oh you can’t just ask that at a masquerade, laddie,” the black-masked man teased, leaning next to Jane. “Where’s your sense of mystery?”

Jane grit his teeth, reminded unflattering of Spy. “Fine then. What do I call you?”

“Hm. How about Finn?”

“If that’s what you like, fish boy.”

Finn snorted, and tilted his head back. Jane mirrored him, glancing at the stars that spilled out above the castle’s spires, white lights sparkling next to the golden squares of arrow slits. Their arms brushed, the faintest touch as Finn leaned toward him, and Jane was sure he was going to ask for his name.

Instead he said, “care for a walk?”

Jane glanced at the hedges behind him. “In there?”

“I’ll make sure you don’t get lost.”

“How dare you! My sense of direction is impeccable! I have entered the wilderness between Cerulea and Scarlend twenty-eight times on purpose, just to find my way back out again!”

Jane wound up getting them lost for thirty minutes. It was nice though, the good sort of lost where you’re not really trying to find your way back home, just learning more out about where you are. Finn talked all the while. It was nice to hear him talk, and Jane couldn’t believe how easily he could slide from one topic to another, how suddenly he’d be telling a story about wizards and dragons then jump to economics and Jane would still be hanging on his every word. At some point during their journey, they had started holding hands. Jane wasn’t sure who initiated.

They swung their hands between them, and as Jane gazed sidelong at his newly acquired companion, he thought he’d never known a more perfect human. He didn’t even care if he turned out he was Scarlet, he just wanted to keep listening to this man and never stops.

The music grew louder as they ascended the steps back to the veranda. Finn gazed inside, the sounds of shoes tapping on polished floor almost drowning out the joyous laughter of intoxicated guests.

“…Would you do the honor of dancing with me?” he asked.

Immediately, Jane was yanked rudely to the present. He remembered he didn’t belong here, that nights of passion and softly whispered words wouldn’t take blood and corrosion from his bones.

“I don’t know how,” Jane said, a truth if it had to be.

“Can I show you?”

He didn’t belong here, but Finn looked at him so hopefully, with such adoration in his eyes…

“Alright,” Jane found himself saying.

Finn lead him back the ballroom, the masked side facing Jane so there was only the etched gold to know him by. It felt as though every veiled eye was upon them, watching Jane, knowing he would falter before even taking the first step.

Finn stopped, arms raised, a smile across his cheek as he waited for Jane to join him. He did, falteringly, and the music began.

The steps flowed like water. Finn the stream and Jane the leaf being carried along, left after right after left again. The waltz was as simple as they came, but every few seconds terror set into Jane’s legs, and they threatened to seize up on him. Every time he was sure he would fall. He never did. He was pushed, and pulled, and the rawness in his throat was hard to tell apart from exhalation.

“Why did you come talk to me?” he couldn’t help but ask in between gulps of air. He could hardly breath from the tension, but still he asked. “We barely looked at each other, why me?”

“You were…different,” Finn said as they spun dangerously close to another couple on the floor. “Everyone around here is so stuck up their own arses, and there was just something about you that…”

“Different’s not always a good thing.”

“Mmm. Sometimes you take a chance on different. Might find the most interesting person you’ve ever met.”

Jane had been ‘interesting’ before. It was always said with an air of disdain, the assumption that they meant something else entirely when they said ‘interesting’ behind their gloved hands. But not when Finn said it. From Finn it was an embrace, tight like the hand in the small of his back.

He pressed his face where Finn’s neck met his collarbone.

The dance was the longest moment of Jane’s life, yet over far too quickly. A grand bell chimed the hour.

“Ach, I’ve got to go for a bit,” Finn said, parting gently from Jane’s grasp. “Can I meet you by the fountain?”

“The fountain?”

“Where I first bumped into you.”

Jane’s eyes landed on it, giant golden serpent with water flying from its nostrils into the pool below. By the time he’d looked back, his companion had already wedged himself partway into the crowd.

It felt like he was dreamwalking. Every moment with the lights so bright and the smell of food and perfume clogging his nostrils made him think he’d been put under a spell, and that’s why he was having a hard time making it to the fountain. Maybe he should find Spy. Explain to him that there was magic at work here. Or, if that wasn’t the case, then that he’d fallen head over heels for a warlock in a black and gold mask.

“Where have you been?”

Oh, he’d found Spy after all. Or Spy had found him? How long had he been standing under the fountain, staring dreamily out at the bustling partygoers.

“Met someone,” Jane said.

“Met someone?” Spy groaned. “We are not here meet people unless we are seducing them out of information. Which, judging by that look on your face, you did not.”

“The only look on my face is the final thing my enemies see before I send them to their graves! I do not know what you’re talking about.”

“That’s nothing new,” Spy frowned. He glanced over his shoulder. “And we’re out of time. The night is almost over.”

Jane followed Spy’s gaze to the plinth standing over the ballroom, where it appeared the King was putting in an appearance after all. How he was still alive Jane would never guess, though if he had to hazard one he’d say dark magic of some sort.

But, as Redmond’s creaky voice addressed his subjects—half stiflingly welcoming his guests and half grumbling that they would have been victorious if the war had gone on—Jane found himself drawn to a very different sight on the plinth. Surrounding their ailing King, all waiting for him to crumble to dust so they could personally lay siege to his heirless throne, the noble families of Scarlend gathered. The oldest of money, whose purses kept the red armies armed and dangerous.

The dream shattered like a bucket of water dumped over his head.

“Spy,” Jane tugged his sleeve, never taking his eyes off the plinth. “Who are they?”

Spy idly cocked his head in the direction Jane was gesturing. “The DeGroots, I believe. They have the strongest claim to Redmond’s throne, but whether they’ll have the actual gumption to beat out the Bidwells remains to be seen.”

The King’s favored aristocrats. And there, standing uncomfortably among the clan all wearing similarly designed masks, was Finn.

Or Tavish as Jane gleaned while Spy continued to prattle on, running over exactly he thought each family’s chances were for snagging the crown. He barely noticed as Jane grew colder, lead in his gut weighing him to the floor.

Tavish looked immensely uncomfortable, as though he’d rather be anywhere else besides behind the King as he made his speech. He kept trying to shuffle himself behind his relations despite his height, but a stern looking woman whose mask covered her whole face kept pulling him forward again. When Redmond was finally ushered back to his pallet chair, ending rather suddenly mid-tirade and collapsing into it, Tavish was the first to make his escape.

Jane didn’t hear Spy’s snide comments to do better. He didn’t move as people began to push past him to get to the fountain, or notice that he was alone again. All he could do was stand there as his heart crumpled.

He couldn’t be here under the fountain, he realized suddenly. This was where he and F- he and Tavish had planned to meet up. If they were seen together any more than they already had been…

Even as he thought it, he caught sight of gold flitting through the crowd. He pushed, shoving against the people who’d been bumping him a moment before, desperately trying to make enough space to pass. His feet took him outside, to the gardens, and he breathed in relief as a breeze pulled at the scarf around his neck. Good. The night was almost over. A little longer and he would disappear from the party, never to be seen again.

“There you are!”

Jane froze as the sound of fine shoes walked through the garden’s tended gravel.

“Been looking all over for you,” Tavish said, and then froze when Jane whipped around. The stared at each other for several seconds, neither saying a word, Jane’s mouth a firm line. “…You saw me up there, didn’t you?”

“You’re a DeGroot,” Jane replied. He didn’t know what else to say.

“Ach…bloody hell…” Tavish rubbed the back of his neck. “Look I just…I wanted nobody to know me for once. You don’t know what it’s like being with people like them all the time and I…” He looked up. “And I really liked pretending for a night.”

“Don’t look at me like this doesn’t change everything.”

“Why does it have to?” Tavish took a step toward him. “You’re the most amazing person I’ve ever met and I-”

“Because you’re Scarlet, maggot,” Jane hissed, ignoring how Tavish’s declaration still made his stomach flutter. He couldn’t let this man have control of his heart, he couldn’t.

That finally made him get it. “…And I take it you aren’t?” The silence was the only answer he needed. But when it kept going the visible half of Tavish’s face scowled, and he said, “it doesn’t matter. I don’t care. Please tell me this doesn’t have to matter.”

He reached forward to take Jane’s hands.

“You still don’t get it!” Jane said, yanking away. “It does matter, and you know why?”

Jane reached up and ripped off his mask.

Several fearful seconds ticked by, Tavish’s mind visibly ticking away at the new information before his eye widened in shock. He took a step back. “You’re one of the Generals.”

And goddammit it hurt to watch the betrayal climb across Tavish’s face. It hurt, and now Jane knew what he had put Tavish through just a moment ago.

“…We’re both dead if we keep this up,” Jane said. “My side or your side, won’t matter which one catches us.”

“I…” Tavish wouldn’t look at him. He didn’t blame him. If they’d met a month ago, they would have killed each other no questions asked.

“I’m sorry.” The genuine regret leaked out of Jane and into their secluded corner of garden. “For what its worth…you’re the most amazing person I’ve met too.”

A line of silver ran from the corner of Tavish’s eye, catching in the full moon.

Jane couldn’t help it. He reached forward and wiped it away, wishing he could do something to fix this, almost wishing he’d never said anything at all. What did it matter? What did it really matter when he risked his life every day he put on his armor and charged off into battle? It was for a far less worthwhile end than the person in front of him.

The thumb that had brushed aside the tears moved sideways. Tavish tensed, but didn’t stop him when Jane’s nail slipped underneath the mask and drew it away.

There was no eye beneath. Jane had begun to suspect that was the case, but even if he hadn’t there was nothing that could shock him about Tavish’s appearance, nothing that could turn him aside. The hand not holding the mask rose up to warmed skin, wanting to be closer, to feel more of him.

He brought their mouths together. His eyelashes flicked wet where they touched against Tavish’s cheek, and when Tavish pressed down to meet him, he let the kiss turn hungry. Their tongues flit against each other, searching, wanting desperately to know one another.

“…I still don’t care,” Tavish whispered desperately in-between kisses. “I don’t even want what they have planned for me I just…”

“I know.”

And that was the part where Jane should’ve said ‘I know, but’, where he should have reminded Tavish of their respective loyalties. Their duties. But if he was going to abandon every one of his principals, he might as well do it in style.

So when Tavish pressed their foreheads together and said, “take me with you,” Jane stalwartly replied, “okay.”

They found Spy an hour later, one of them ruddy-faced and the other very ruffled.

“Oh good,” Spy sighed. “I suppose this is the someone…who you……..met……..” His voice trailed off as he fully took in the figure at Jane’s side.

“Spy!” Jane declared. “I have found a way to start the war back on!”

“‘Lo,” Tavish waved, still a bit dazed.

“…..”

“Tavish here has agreed to elope with me!” He said, squeezing Tavish around the shoulders. “We are going to run away to Cerulea together, and he’s going to stick it his parents!”

“More like my Mum, but aye.” Tavish looked sideways at Jane with adoration.

“…Yes I suppose that would quite piss them off,” Spy said faintly.

“Great! So we can grab another horse then?”

That snapped Spy back into focus. “Three day’s ride, two if we push the horses…that should keep us ahead of their retinue…”

He began to mumble calculations to himself, and Jane was glad to have him around for once. Schemes were exactly the sort of thing Spy excelled at.

His head jerked up. “It’s a serviceable plan. Dangerous, and not what we were sent here to do, but running off with the crown prince will surely achieve our goal. Hurry! Every minute in the saddle is one less without arrows aimed at our backs.”

“He always like that?” Tavish asked as they were swept out in the flood of guests.

“You get used to it.”

“Suppose I will. I’ll get used to a lot of things.”

The two of them giggled, and Spy rolled his eyes as they hurried into the night.

#demosolly #boots n bombs #tf2 fanfiction

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honeytea8 · 4 years

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Your wish is my command lmaoo so I used my last two brain cells to bring you this 😂😂😂 @theladysexpistol

I’m really exposing myself with this... ya girl is a professional SIMP (and Mista-enthusiast/member of the stinky man delegation 😈)

#wtf is my life #come and get yall juice #whatta man #jojo's bizarre adventure #vento aureo #jjba #jojo #guido mista #mista

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alphasoup-420 · 4 years

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Stinky man delegation. Stinky man delegation 😈

Look. Look at how you've made me call myself out 😭

so uh 👉👈😳

#YOU ARE THE ONE TO TALK BTW BEHSHSGS #yes i have a mista file keep scrolling #you dont want to see my other ones #soup is simping #I JUST THINK HE'S NEAT.#jjba #guido mista #self callout post smh #ask stuff!!

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theladysexpistol · 4 years

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Hatless & Shirtless Mista Hatless & Shirtless Mista

This is the chant of the stinky man delegation, but instead of summoning a demon it’s summoning naked Mista

#asks for bree #jojo confessions for bree #spicy hours #we are all feral for mista #stinky man delegation

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theladysexpistol · 4 years

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yo I bet I could convince Mista to wear a dress

I feel like you wouldn’t even need to convince him I think he would just do it 😍

“Oh I’ve got dozens of fans waiting for me to show off my stuff? Say no more”

Tell me The Delegation wouldn’t want it 😏😏

But omg make him do it plz

#asks for bree #bree loves #thirsty bree #stinky man delegation #we are all feral for mista #mista in a dress showin off that ass #we need #its what we deserve

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theladysexpistol · 4 years

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Kinda confession bc idk who else to share this with: (Pt.1)Had a dream a while ago where me, Mista, and Abbacchio were walking back from a mission through a more unsavory part of town when a guy who was very obviously on something started to catcall me. Mista wanted to fight but at first I was like 'its fine just ignore him'. However, he followed us go around 10 minutes before I turned to Abbacchio and Mista and said. "I'm allowed to cause a little chaos right?".

(Pt. 2) The man then said something along the lines of "Won't you come and sit on my face baby"? Now I'm pretty much a pacifist and although I get angry easy, I don't typically act on it, but in response I said "Why? Cause your nose is bigger than your dick"? I then proceeded to give him a verbal beat down for 15 minutes. Mista and Abbacchio were both DYING (Mista mainly screamed). Abbacchio said he'd never been more proud of me.

That must be why I love Mista so much because that pretty much would’ve been my reaction too if I was there 😝 but I fully support this verbal beatdown because I would 100% have done it myself in the same situation. That comeback was fucking beautiful.

And of course Abbacchio is proud. Look at that man and tell me he doesn’t throw shade professionally

#bree replies #oh i need a fun confession tag #stinky man delegation #we are all feral for mista #big tiddy goth bf🍷#im so sorry but that has to be my abbacchio tag 😝#jojo confessions for bree

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theladysexpistol · 4 years

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How about Guido mista for the character ask thing ✨

As a self-appointed high ranking member of the stinky man delegation I humbly accept this assignment

Favorite thing about them: what the FUCK you guys how am I supposed to answer this

Umm okay so I love his weird sense of style. Love his crop top. Love his tiger print pants. I love his boots that are socks/sandals in the manga.

I also love how his soul manifested into six tiny pixies that he has to now father. Like can u imagine that. Mistas soul said you need more responsibilities take care of these tiny children they’ll. Make u shoot better or something. Just feed them

I also also love his conspiracy theories and weird topics like god every time we got that it was just so funny.

I also love how go with the flow he is. Mista heard Bruno and Giorno say they’re betraying the boss and mista was really like “aight. We gonna get some money. Think I’ll make u make me a capo” a capo. Mista if u guys overthrow the boss you’re literally going to be rocketed to the top of the gang. Higher than a fucking capo

Bottom line I just can’t pick a favorite thing about Mista. My favorite thing about him is that he exists.

Least favorite thing about them: that he doesn’t exist outside of anime. I feel personally attacked by this

Favorite line: ahhhhhh a lot of them. Every time he insults somebody. My favorites are like, in the dub when he calls them fugly or called someone a “dick noodle”

My serious answer though is when he says Giorno feels more like his boss to him than Bruno does during the Ghiaccio fight. I think that was the moment I really went “oh shit” and realized how important giorno and mista’s relationship was going to be

brOTP: Giorno, Narancia, Trish (really everyone in the bucci gang but those three in particular)

OTP: I’m pretty chill with any mista ship, but I wouldn’t say I OTP any of them for mista. I have a jojo OC that I shipped with mista though and am actually writing a fic for 😬 yeah I really just fuckin said my mista OTP was a mista/oc pairing

nOTP: ship what you want y’all ✌️ and yanno what if it’s got mista in it you might as well tag me I like it all

Random headcanon: Mista is super touch-sensitive and touch-starved he consciously feels more comfortable when he can tangibly feel people there that’s why you see him with his arm around the other members of the gang a lot. (mostly Narancia and Fugo from what I remember but he starts doing it to giorno too)

Unpopular opinion: uhhh idk... the only mista takes I feel like I’ve disagreed with are ones about PHF which isn’t technically canon... but unpopular I guess I don’t think Mista’s characterization in PHF was ooc at all and in fact I really really liked it even the bonus chapter. Like it hurt a lot to have him literally threatening to kill Giorno, but I also really liked it.

Oh I know! Even though he shoots himself a lot I still think he’s a great shot. He’s done some amazing things with his bullets

Song I associate with them: well it has to be “Bang” by AJR. I already thought it was a cool song for him and then they started playing it on the radio every hour so now I’m like MISTA MISTA MISTA every time I hear it. Like the line where they go “I’m way too old to try so whatever” just feels so Mista to me

Favorite picture of them: believe me when I say I have A LOT

This fuckin smile. Gets me every time but the first time I saw it I think my heart flipped in my chest and I got physically flustered like he was flashing me this grin even though HE DOES NOT EXIST YOU DUMBASS??? WHY ARE YOU BLUSHING OVER A FICTIONAL MAN??

Anyway I really hope this wasn’t too rambly or all over the place it’s 12:30am and I fucking love Guido Mista

#bree loves #help ive fallen in love with the stinky gun man #bree watches jojo #i wish i had guido mista right now #asks for bree #guido mista #we are all feral for mista #stinky man delegation

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theladysexpistol · 4 years

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i just want mista to wrap me in a blanket and feed me snacks while we watch movies together is that too much to ask

Bitch me too the fuck

You me and Shay want Mista so bad that at this point I’m convinced it’s his fault that he doesn’t exist

I absolutely do not think that is too much to ask

There is nothing I want more in the world than to cuddle with the stinky man

#asks for bree #bree replies #we are all feral for mista #help ive fallen in love with the stinky gun man #stinky man delegation

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theladysexpistol · 4 years

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i just need... like /NEEED/ to know what u think mistas kinks are 👀👀👀👀

In all honesty I see Mista as being pretty vanilla himself, really into casual, slow, kinda lazy sex. But I see him being totally willing to try most whatever his s/o is into or wants to try with a few exceptions like temp play (Ghiaccio fight)

I also go back and forth on whether or not he’d like gunplay? Like on one hand his gun is his lifeline - but also like he seems like he might want to just leave the gun to his mafia work so idkkk

Really love any kind of roleplay with him, obviously LMAO. Really love some of the public sex fics I’ve read for him and honestly I could see him being into that like possibility of being caught. I also just think in general he could get really rough when worked up, like if his s/o’s been teasing him all day or something else

#asks for bree #bree replies #thirsty bree #thirsty thirsty bree #im SO sorry you guys #except im not bcuz youre all following me and sending asks SO #😈😈😈#extra spicy #spicyyyyy #stinky man delegation #its turning into a cult now though

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theladysexpistol · 4 years

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Wait, it's all Mista?

😂😂😂

It doesn’t have to be, Anon! I just thirst after him so much that I attract all the Mista fuckers to my blog. I’m also big love for Joseph, Caesar, Josuke, Okuyasu and well, most of the Bucci gang (I figure that’s probably why I get a lot of asks for them as well).

But I’ll write for most of the main characters of parts 1-5, excluding a few and including Dio and La Squadra (minus Sorbet, Gelato, Pesci) because there really isn’t a character I don’t like in Jojo!! The only one I can think of off the top of my head is Stroheim.

Reason I excluded a lot of villains is that I just don’t feel confident enough to write them yet, but I may include them eventually.

#asks for bree #bree replies #yes i have several tags just for mista #on this blog #we are all feral for mista #stinky man delegation

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theladysexpistol · 4 years

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Just wanna say that this strawberry mista simp lovess you & your blog so much

I love you as well, strawberry!!! I’m so glad you like everything I write for you! And you’re just too good for me, letting me word vomit over the sexiest man in Italy!

❤️💕💖🍓💖❤️💕