#steph derps

[steph-squatch]

Sometimes a family is a feral librarian, a bisexual sorcerer, and his demon manservant

#steph derps #steph reads #sorcery of thorns is so good yall #its everything i love #love me a sad snarky traumatized man #and a strong female lead who's not a Wicker Basket #AND THEN PUT THEM TOGETHER #👁👄👁 #also victorian era fantasy

[theseourbodiesrp]

Honestly you could portray any character well but I'm interested to hear your Lucius

Why are you doing this to me omg. Lucius is difficult. But anyway here goes:

"Mm, yeah," Lucius said, raising an eyebrow at the first mate. "I don't think I want to do that. And if you don't like it, Iggy, you can take it up with the Captain. I mean, Co-Captains."

He smirked as Izzy stepped too close to him and stared up at him. Not at his eyes, but at his mouth. The intensity of that stare made him warm, but also made him want to laugh in Izzy's face. You want to fuck me so bad it makes you look stupid, he thought.

But he doesn't say it, or laugh. He's not ready to shuffle off this mortal coil quite yet. So he just sighs and looks down his nose at the first mate. Easy to do, since Izzy was smaller.

"If I tell my captain that you're keeping me from my duties, would he tell Ed, d'y'think?" He asked softly. "And if Stede is upset, do you think Blackbeard would be too? They've grown so close."

Now he's the one who steps closer, almost closing the distance between them. Forcing Izzy to practically crane his neck to maintain eye contact. "I dare you to test it, Mr. Hands. See where Blackbeard's loyalties lie these days. It would be quite instructional, don't you think?"

@betterxvillain

#phoe derps #other characters meme #steph how dare #have this #i'm not confident #but u kno i jad to write my sea goblin #getting in lucius' space #bc he gotta #very heterosexual of him

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi Steph!

This is not me asking for a list or rushing you or anything lol, but im just nosey lolol. are you workin on any new lists? i know you sometimes wait for people to ask for a specific topic before you release a list haha

its totally okay if not, i have so many lists of yours to comb through still! <3

LOVELY!

I am SO HAPPY YOU ASKED and have been WAITING for someone to do this because I have a lot of lists I can probably post right now, but no one asks for them so I don't post them. I'm at the end of my drafted posts that I have ready-to-post, and people usually ask for the same lists over and over so I guess people just don't think of all these that I have sorted on my own because DERP I DON'T TELL PEOPLE. I have lists Ready-to-go but no asks associated with them (second section) so those will be the best ones to ask for if you want to see them within a month or so.

Everything else in the Third Section, they're unsorted lists but I have more than 5 fics on those lists and would be willing to post them if you guys want them (I PREFER at least 10 fics per list, but again, I know people want me to consistently have posts, so may as well reveal what I've on-the-go), and all they require is me to double-check the links and then I can post them up.

Seriously, Lovely, this ask is wonderful because I've been sitting here wondering WTF to post these upcoming weeks as my "ready" lists have been dwindling, and I know that I still have some people who are still here for lists, so any way I can pre-prep lists will be great for me and my mental health, hah.

If anyone wants any of these, please let me know with one ask per topic, so I can prep fic rec posts for Sunday lists; I like having more content for y'all, so having one topic per post is the best for me. This ask helps a lot, thank you.

⭐️ = posts with ten or more fics

RECENTLY POSTED from List

Medium Burn Fics (Slow Burn Under 25K) (Oct 2023)

Coming Untouched

Drinking Games / Hanging Out (Oct 2023)

Fantasies (with MFLs)

POV John 3rd Person Pt 3: Angst, Angsty Fluff or BAMF John

Hugs, Cuddles & Kisses Pt. 7

CURRENT ASKS DRAFTED, SORTING, NOT READY

Full Series Fics ⭐️ (Possibly being split into 2 lists)

Full Series Fics Pt 2 (MFLs) ⭐️ (Possibly being split into 3 lists)

READY-TO-POST WITHOUT ASKS

These are the best ones to ask for; they're ready-to-go.

G,T, and M-Rated Johnlock for Newcomers Pt 3 (20K+) ⭐️

POV Sherlock 3rd Person Pt 6 - Angst Pt 2

Hurt / Comfort Pt 5: Under 5K Pt. 2 ⭐️

OTHER LISTS UNCHECKED BUT ENOUGH FOR A NEW LIST (5 or more fics)

Christmas Pt. 2

Cranky Sherlock Pt 3 ⭐️

Crying John Pt. 1 ⭐️

Drugs and Drugging Pt 3 ⭐️

Drunk and Drinking Johnlock Pt 3

Emotional Hurt/Comfort ⭐️

Emotional Lovemaking Pt 3 ⭐️

Fics for Me (Updated ??) ⭐️

Fics Under 2000 w. Pt 4 ⭐️

First Kiss Pt 2 ⭐️

First Time Pt 4 ⭐️

Five and Ones Pt 2 (MFLs) ⭐️

Flirting Pt 2

Forehead Touches

Friends to Lovers Pt 4

Hair Petting / Pulling Pt 2

Harry Watson is in This Fic Pt 4

Hospitals Pt 3

Infidelity Pt 2

Internalized Homophobia Pt 2 ⭐️

Introspection Pt 1

Jealous Sherlock Pt 6

John's Sexuality Pt 1 ⭐️

John Whump / Sherlock Cares Pt 4 ⭐️

Kidnapping Pt 4

Love Confessions Pt 6

Mutual Pining Pt 3

Non/Dub Con Pt 2 (MFLs) ⭐️

Oblivious John Pt 2

Oral Sex / Blow Jobs Pt 2

Pet Names Pt 3

Possessive/Obsessive Sherlock Pt 2

Post-S4 Pt. 5 ⭐️

POV Alternating Pt. 1 ⭐️

Protective John Pt. 1 ⭐️

Protective Sherlock Pt 2

Initial Rejection, Then Together Fics

Reunion Pt 4 ⭐️

Rough Sex Pt 2

Secondary Characters Pt 2

SFW AU Pt 1

Sherlock's Mind Palace Pt 2

Sherlock is Shot/Stabbed Pt 1

Sherlock Whump Pt 3 (not sure if this one is an accidental resave of Pt 2, have to double-check, not guaranteed)

Showering / Bathing Together Pt 2

Soft John

Swimming Pt 2

Switchlock ⭐️

T-Rated Pt 4 ⭐️

TFP is Canon Pt 2

Road Trips / Travelling Pt 2 ⭐️

Evil / Not-Nice / Villain Mary Pt 2

Virgin Sherlock Pt 3

Lestrade / The Yard Finds Out Pt 3

I also have an unsorted single post called "To Add to Other Lists" that's got a tonne of fics on it, but it's a mess right now because it was made way before I had a sorting system so I've been gradually making separate posts from this list, and I haven't lists associated with the fics on that list, because I have to make sure the fics on it aren't on previous lists. From what I can see, I will also have these lists once I cross-check and verify the fics:

Grief/Mourning Pt 2

Depression

Pre-TRF

ASIP / Canon Divergence Since ASiP

Magical Realism

Assorted PWP

Comas

Assorted AUs

So yeah, there you have it! This is some behind-the-scenes for those of y'all who think I just whip these lists up in a day, LOL. Naw, some of these lists have been ready for over 2 years, LOL.

And a fun bit of trivia: as I post any of the above or get asks for obscure tags I never thought of, I make separate text docs with ascending Part numbers OR start new lists of the tag-I-didn't-think-of and then go through all 1000+ of my bookmarks across 2 platforms all over again and make more lists.

I have A Method™ and it is Maddening™ and Exhausting™, LOL. Y'all can see why now I like my time off my laptop.

Please let me know what you guys are looking for, I'm GAGGING for new lists to make because I legit have run out for the next couple months.

I'll update this post as I get asks for any of the above lists, so keep watch on this thread, if anyone cares, hah. Honestly – and this is my shitty self-esteem talking I'm sure – I genuinely believe no one cares about my lists anymore since I don't really get the numbers on them anymore, and there's so many others doing this now *shrugs*. I can only hope I have been an inspiration in some way, at the very least. I need validation, so a request for any of the above lists will make me happy.

Cheers, Lovely, and thank you again for asking. Mean a lot to know people still like my personal recs.

#steph replies #updates #my fic recs #someone please request one of these #please don't make me sort stuff i should already have sorted lol #i have an urge to share all of them #and just really want to know what people really want #my blog #fanfiction #johnlock fic reqs

[steph-squatch]

I taught a whole semester you'd think I'd be over the fucking anxiety of teaching

I AM VERY MUCH NOT

#steph derps #im done after this semester ive already announce ive resigned #but i was still committed to this semester and it would have looked bad to bail 2 weeks before school starts #when i already had a full class with a waitlist #also if i ever want to come back to this ill have taught both halves of the book #but like....still #very anxious and its only syllabus day #i just have to survive 15 weeks....... #14 after tonight #and one of those is finals so really 13 after tonight #but alas i must prepare material for all 13 weeks 💀 #i have 1.5 weeks done tho #anyway im much more comfortable running IEP meetings than teaching a whole class #so i changed course correctly

[steph-squatch]

Love having witchy family members. Give rock! Give candle! Perfect gift!

#steph derps #mothers day was a hard one until i found some shiny rocks and a sage candle #feels much more personalized now

[steph-squatch]

I just submitted grades which means I survived my first semester teaching college

#steph derps #liked the money #but it didn't quite give me the satisfaction my day job did #also i spent the last 3 days grading and got paid for like none of it #except the grading i did during final class time #dont much care for not having my prep and grade time accounted for in the paycheck #idk I'll give it another go next semester #which scares me because ill be taking my own classes #and working all day #im sincerely worried about the burnout #but grading is all fucking arbitrary anyway

[steph-squatch]

The fucking alarm system went into backup failure mode at 11:30 last night because *of course it did* and then *of course I triggered the whole system to go off* trying to shut down the constant beeping so we could sleep

Needless to say I got maybe 5 hours sleep last night and I'm fucking pissed

#steph derps #its important to note WE DONT HAVE A CODE #THE PREVIOUS TENANT ACTIVATED THE SYSTEM #AND DID NOT TELL ANYONE LET ALONE GIVE THEM THE CODE #and one of the panels is loose so it triggers the system everytime you touch it #and the OTHER panel is in my room #which is the dunbest fucking idea anyone has ever had #put it in the hallway or some shit #anyway im starting a busy week off VERY WRONG

[steph-squatch]

Your thirties are really your new twenties. I got stressed out by all the homework, grading, and test prep I wanted/need to do over break and then dyed my hair cranberry red

#steph derps #it just needed to be arctic fox or manic panic for peak early 20s crisis #in my defense this was pre meditated i was gonna do it anyway #and i missed out on doing it before #now im 30 and i dont give a fuck #also the kids need alt representation on staff

[steph-squatch]

Idk how to look up how to disable an alarm system (or at least shut off the beeping) without getting put on a list

#steph derps #i will forever curse the idiot who put a keypad in the primary bedroom #because now i just get ALL THE BEEPS when someone opens a door or a fucking window #also no one knows the code and its kinda fuckin stupid anyway #id like to get rid of it but they wont do it

[steph-squatch]

Cannot wait until I'm done preparing lectures and can just teach the class 💀💀💀 its burning me out

#steph derps #i took today off for couch delivery reasons #and then spent my whole usual 7 hour work day preparing notes on the baroque #i did get two more weeks of lecture done #but by god 💀💀 #however i am now 5 weeks ahead and just need like 5 more? 6 more? #im trying to get it all done in the next month before my own classes start #so i can just focus on grading and an evaluation APPARENTLY #anyway my hands look like shit and hurt from my weird dermatological stress response #i just have to make it to december #im taking time where i can #but a full time job and preparing/teaching a college class and a move that im still settling from and my own classes coming up #oof 💀

[steph-squatch]

Torn between "I need a day off to rest before I burn out and can't do anything" and "I need to get another lecture's notes down with this free day! Make your life easier later!!"

#steph derps #im dreading october when ill be taking my own classes and teaching/prepping this class #honestly its the prep work #i thought i was getting materials again but i never got anything #so now im scrambling at the last minute #which i hate doing #not that i had hardly any time over the summer to prepare

[steph-squatch]

Cult of the Lamb was absolutely made for me but alas I got the black fog bug and I'm stuck at camp :(

#steph derps #i want to play so bad but i also dont want to restart #but i have to restart to keep playing and then hope i dont get the same bug #either way the game is delightful and 100% my shit

[steph-squatch]

Someone pls tell the utilities company I'm a real person

#steph derps #i just want power at the new house #but i have to call i guess

[steph-squatch]

Still waiting for HR to process my paperwork but I'm BASICALLY an RSP now! Just waiting (impatiently) for that sweet sweet offer letter so it can be official (and I can send stuff to my intern program)

#steph derps #im excited about it! #i love working in sped #which is not something i think i would have said 4 years ago #conversly the professor job i went to school for fills me with so much anxiety

[steph-squatch]

The bezos app had 5e books at a SERIOUS discount with $5 coupons and I basically got the three main books plus the guide to ravenloft for like $20 each

Should I have added four more books to my move? No, but sales 👁👄👁

#steph derps #also i enjoy 5e and wanted the materials #i would like to run it one day! #at least some stupid one shots or curse of strahd or something

[steph-squatch]

I live for those little "oof that's a big boy" comments vets make when they pick up my cat. Like yes he is thank you!!! that's my big boy :)

#steph derps #hes also in the carrier and black so they dont really see him to gauge his size right away #hes managed to stay steady at 17 lbs and is a very healthy boy! #he just has dirty teeth which are going to cost me like 1300 bucks to clean 🙃