#spuffy and fuffy are the two most important ships to me bc i could talk about them forever

[giftedeath]

if ur a jungian shadow truther like me, s6 ep13 dead things is such a good culmination of all of her trauma ( + also her fear of becoming faith ) reflecting back at her through spike. this is probably an episode where we see buffy the lowest she's ever been ( suicidal, thinks her friends hate her bc she's not who she used to be, thinks she killed an innocent woman, her father figure's gone who's not even her /real/ father , who disappeared a long time ago, she's living and she doesn't wanna be, etc. ) and then there's spike who's literally representing all of that, who's saying ' it's fine it was an /accident/ you're not bad, and i got rid of the body for you. i did it, my hands are dirty, you're clean, you're fine. i'm evil and i'm the monster and you're still the good slayer ' and not only is it all about spuffy, and buffy hating herself so much but only feeling anything around spike, the shame of it bc she thinks its wrong even though it's the only thing that feels good, and hating him bc she hates herself bc he is everything that she's always been, or at least always has been capable of being. but it's also so about fuffy too, bc in this episode she really thinks that she's killed someone, and it's something that buffy has always been so strictly against. she can't just kill people bc she has that power, she has to use her power responsibly, can't give into the hedonism, bc then she'd be faith. we already saw that struggle in season three, but now it's coming back but it really is rearing its ugly head this season !! and more detrimental, bc it was always a fear and now it's a reality. and its worse too because faith spiraled into it, she had no one, had nothing, all she had was the trauma of being a slayer. and buffy doesn't understand that's also true for her. all she thinks about tho is how, even with all of my friends, even with all of this love and support, i'm still like this. i still ended up like her, and i don't even have a good excuse for it. its sad its so sad but its also so good , its so ... its why season six is so good

#why are you full of rage ? / because you are full of grief › meta. #i. suck the rot right out of my bloodstream › spike. #i. my reflection and i were like rival animals › faith. #spuffy and fuffy are the two most important ships to me bc i could talk about them forever #there's so much to unpack #and season six is such a good season bc the entire show wouldn't be as good without it #anyway #i'm here today and i'm writing !!! #may be a little quiet on disco tho bc i sometimes cannot focus on both isdjfcksjf #depression / #suicidal ideation /