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#spicy six apartment schenanigans
morganski-19 · 3 months
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The One with Shaved Legs
Eddie walks into Steve and Robin’s apartment, planning on asking if can borrow a charge since Nancy has banned him from borrowing hers. But instead, he’s stood there staring at them with a hand on the door handle.
“Oh, hey Eddie,” Steve waves a greet as if what’s happening is completely normal.
“If you’re going to ask for a charger, the answer is no. Nancy already told me you’re blacklisted.”
Eddie opens his mouth to say something, closing it and reopening it a few times. “I’m sorry, what are you doing?”
What they are doing, in question, has Steve with his leg on a chair, wearing the shortest shorts known to man, with shaving cream rubbed all over his leg. Robin is standing next to him with a razor, delicately shaving the hair off.
“Yeah that. Robin’s shaving my leg,” Steve rolls his eyes.
“Yeah,” Eddie says, finally able to step into the apartment. “But why?”
Robin stand upright, rising the razor off in a bowl and glaring at Steve. “Do you want to tell him why or should I?”
“I didn’t know, ok I didn’t know. How was I supposed to know?”
“Did he not show up to parent teacher conference?”
“Fuck he did, I forgot.” Steve runs his hands over his face, mortified.
Eddie clears his throat. “Explanation, please. Clue in the person not connected to your weird twin telepathy thing that you have.”
“Steve’s on a sex ban,” Robin informs. “He slept with one of his student’s parents, again.”
“Divorced,” Steve clarified, “I knew that much. And he was very hot, could you blame me?”
“Yes, always.”
“How hot?” Eddie asks.
Steve reaches for his phone on the counter and almost falls over in the process, swiping through his phone to pull up the guys dating profile.
Eddie takes it and stares at it. “Yeah, very hot. Not for me, but I can see why you went for it.”
“Thank you.”
Nancy walks into the apartment. “Oh, there you are Eddie.” She takes one look at what’s happening and immediately gives Steve a deadpanned look. “Sex ban again, seriously, Steve.”
And because the timing couldn’t be more perfect, Jonathan and Argyle show up and walk into the apartment unphased.
“I forgot, ok. I wouldn’t have slept with the guy if I knew.”
“Parent again?” Jonathan asks while already knowing the answer.
“Wait, how many times has this happened?”
“Too many,” Nancy says annoyed. “The first time was in college when he slept with the TA to get a better grade.”
“That was not why, it was not grade motivated,” Steve depends.
Nancy rolls her eyes. “Either way, he got a weird grade boost so we invented the sex ban.”
“It happens like once every year or so,” Jonathan fills in.
Eddie crosses his arm, still confused. “How exactly is this a sex ban?”
“We only shave one leg,” Robin explains.
“Yeah, shaving both would do nothing, now I get so disgusted by the feeling of my legs rubbing together that I won’t want to sleep with anyone. I can do with both having hair, or both shaved, just not one with both.”
“Oh, yeah that makes sense.”
“I shave my legs all the time,” Argyle says unprompted.
Jonathan nods. “It’s true, he does.”
“I like how soft they get.”
“Very soft.”
“You’ve touched his bare leg to feel how soft it is,” Eddie questions.
Jonathan shrugs. “Hard not to when he does that thing where he shaves and then makes me feel how soft it is.”
“Because I want someone to appreciate it,” Argyle reasons.
“Just because I didn’t say anything doesn’t mean I didn’t appreciate it.”
Argyle rolls his eyes. “Well, you could have said it.”
“Your relationship still confuses me.”
Robin finishes the last stripe on Steve’s leg, swishing the razor in the bowl of water. “Done, go rinse it off.”
Steve brings his leg off the chair and walks to the bathroom with a wide stance, so he doesn’t get any of the shaving cream on his other leg. He comes out with a clean leg.
“You missed a spot.”
“Even better.”
Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or taken off) @slowandsteddie, @annieofhearts, @cacdyke, @ubpd, @captain--low, @thespaceantwhowrites, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @anne-bennett-cosplayer, @lunaticparisianlady, @apomaro-mellow, @dolphincliffs, @dragonmama76, @maggiebug417, @stevesbipanic, @fearieshadow, @mentallyundone, @eightpackdiaz
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morganski-19 · 3 months
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The One with Sleeping
Steve wakes up with someone’s arm wrapped around his stomach. Which is odd considering he didn’t have anyone over last night. And he’s on his couch with beer bottles on the coffee table and what looks like two crushed ends of a joint in the ash tray.
But he’s too groggy to figure it all out, and it’s probably just Robin anyway, so he leans his head back down and starts to fall back asleep. Until the other person stirs and sits up rapidly, causing him to fall off of his couch.
“What the fuck,” he grunts, slowly getting up from the ground. At least he’s awake now. “Why did you throw me off the couch Rob-.” Steve stops as he sees who’s on the couch. “You’re not Robin.”
Jonathan stares at Steve with a mix of concern and fear. “No, I’m not.”
“Why were you sleeping on my couch?”
“Why were we cuddling?” Jonathan asks, acting as if it was the more pressing question of the two.
Steve collects himself off the ground. “I don’t know. I tend to sleep cuddle people.”
“You sleep cuddle people. That’s a thing?” Jonathan sits up, running a hand through his tangled hair.
“Yeah. Ask Robin, she has a lot of stories about it.” Steve fixes his shirt, it having twisted weird when he fell off the couch. “Thanks for throwing me off the couch by the way.”
Jonathan makes a sheepish face. “Sorry. You scared me when I woke up.”
Steve sits down next to him. “It’s fine. So, why were you sleeping on my couch.”
“I don’t know,” Jonathan scratches at his chin. “I remember coming over last night for some drinks, and then we got high. We must have just dozed off.”
“Together, on the couch,” Steve reasons.
“You don’t think we, you know. Did anything, right?” Jonathan asks cautiously.
Steve laughs. “No, no we’re good. Even cross faded me knows not to flirt with my friends.”
“Does sober you know not to do that?” Jonathan deadpans. Having witnessed Steve play flirt with Eddie multiple times.
Steve clears his throat, avoiding answering that. “The point is, I wouldn’t have tried anything. Not with you, so we probably just fell asleep and somehow ended up in this position.”
“What do you mean not with me?”
“Oh my god,” Steve rolls his eyes. “Now you’re offended? You don’t even like me like that.”
Jonathan scoffs. “And neither do you.”
“Exactly, which is why I wouldn’t have tried anything.”
“But if it was Eddie, would you have tried something.”
“I’m not answering that.” Steve gets up to clear away the old bottles, carrying them over to the recycling can. “If it was Argyle, would you have?” he finally counters.
Jonathan’s face breaks out in a flush that he tries to hide with a cough. “Can we agree not to mention this is anyone?” he changes the subject. “Say I just stayed over and slept on your couch, alone.”
Steve shrugs. “I guess. What, you ashamed that we cuddled on my couch or something?” Jonathan looks away. “Oh my god, you are. How fucking dare you?”
“What do you mean? This isn’t exactly normal for the two of us.” Jonathan stands.
“Sure. But you wanting to hide it means you’re ashamed. Are you ashamed that you slept with me.”
Jonathan gives him a blank expression. “Please don’t call it that.”
“I am calling it that, because it was true. The two of us, slept on the same couch, together, also while cuddling a little bit. It happens, it was an accident. We use it as a funny story and move on.”
“Or we don’t mention it at all.”
Steve crosses his arms. “Alright, under one condition. You admit that was the best sleep you’ve gotten in a while.”
Jonathan huffs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I think you know exactly what I’m talking about. Chronic insomniac Jonathan, falling asleep for what looks to be about, oh I don’t know,” Steve looks at the clock on the oven. “Six or so hours, undisturbed. That had to have been a good night’s sleep.”
Jonathan scrunches up his face before giving in. “Fine, ok.”
Steve laughs in victory.
“It was the best night I’ve gotten in a while, you’re right.”
“For me too, actually.”
“Wait. Wasn’t Robin here last night?” Jonathan remembers.
Steve’s eyes widen. “Yeah, she was. Where is she?” He lightly taps on her door before opening it, finding an empty, unmade bed. “Shit, she’s gone.”
“So, she saw us,” Jonathan accepts defeat. “Great. Where do we think she is?”
There is suddenly a loud burst of laughter from across the hall. “Oh no,” Steve groans.
“We’re never going to live this down, are we?” Jonathan asks with a wince.
“Nope,” Steve says defeated. “We go in together?” He turns to Jonathan.
Jonathan nods. “Only way to do it at this point.”
Steve heads across the hall to Nancy and Eddie’s apartment. He nods at Jonathan before opening the door to ruckus laughter.
“There are the sleepy heads,” Robin teases on the couch. Waving her phone in the air. “Hope we didn’t wake you up,” she fake pouts.
Eddie comes out of his room with a picture in his hand, holding it close to his chest when he realized Steve and Jonathan are there. “Oh, hey guys,” he says with a knowing smile.
Nancy starts laughing. “How’d you guys sleep?” she asks innocently.
Argyle sits on the armchair with crossed arms. “Terribly, I hope.”
“I thought this would happen,” Jonathan whispers while pinching the bridge of his nose. “We slept as good as two people sharing a couch do.”
“You admitted it so fast,” Robin barks. Cackling.
“You all already know,” Steve defends. “Also, what the hell is in your hands?”
Eddie tries to cover the picture with his hands. “Nothing.”
Steve walks toward Eddie. “So, I can see it then?”
Eddie runs to the other side of the room, Steve chasing after him. They do a whole back and forth at the kitchen table, Eddie almost running into the counter when he gets away. Steve fails to catch up with him as Eddie does another lap.
Jonathan moves out of the way before he gets run into, walking over to a still upset Argyle. “It really wasn’t that great,” he lies.
“Don’t lie to me,” Argyle says, avoiding Jonathan’s gaze.
Eddie runs into his bedroom, unable to lock the door before Steve gets it open, following him in. There’s a crash, causing Nancy to perk up with concern. But when yelling and sounds of wrestling continue, she sits back on the couch, sipping her coffee.
“Fine, it was the best sleep I’ve had for a few weeks. But it doesn’t mean anything, it was an accident I promise.”
“Are you weirded out by this,” Robin whispers to Nancy.
She just shrugs. “Not really.”
“It was really an accident?” Argyle asks.
“Yes, I really didn’t mean to. I’m sorry.”
Argyle finally looks at him, his face softening. “Promise?”
“I promise.”
“No,” Eddie yells from the bedroom. “Don’t rip it.” Followed by a “Ha, got it,” from Steve. He walks out victoriously with the picture.
“Neither of you are bleeding, right?” Nancy confirms, not really caring anymore. Steve shakes his head.
Eddie comes out of the room, leaning on his doorway, panting. “Please don’t tear it up. It was my last piece of picture paper.”
“Out of all of us, why is it you that has a printer?” Robin asks. Eddie just shrugs.
“What is it?” Jonathan asks, wincing.
Steve walks over to show him. “What you think. Why did you print it out anyway?”
“To put on the wall of many shames,” Eddie says, pointing to the wall covered in pictures of the group scattered along the back wall. Some with pictures drawn on their faces and other various situations they’ve gotten themselves into.
Steve looks at Jonathan, who just shrugs. With a roll of his eyes, Steve walks over and tapes it to the wall.
Tag list (let me know if you want to be added or taken off) @slowandsteddie, @annieofhearts, @cacdyke, @ubpd, @captain--low, @thespaceantwhowrites, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @anne-bennett-cosplayer, @lunaticparisianlady, @apomaro-mellow, @dolphincliffs, @dragonmama76, @maggiebug417, @stevesbipanic, @fearieshadow, @mentallyundone, @eightpackdiaz, @au79burger @bookworm0690 , @practicallybegging, @potato-of-the-lord
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morganski-19 · 3 months
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The One Where It All Started
This takes place about a year before the rest of the posts will be taking place. Just to set the stage before the real schnenanigans start.
“So I said that was a terrible idea, because there was barely any research done so it would be misleading to the readers, right,” Nancy continued her story about the piece she’s been working on at work.
“Yeah, that would make me pissed,” Robin added, following along.
Nancy nods in agreement as she takes a sip of her coffee. “Exactly. I would rather print nothing than something they made up. But of course, the boss doesn’t think so. I’m thinking of dropping the project, so my name isn’t attached to it, but then that just means I ‘didn’t have faith in the work’. No shit I don’t, it’s completely fake.”
“Fuck those guys,” Steve adds, partially listening as he’s grading his student’s assignments.
Jonathan and Argyle walk into the café, finding the group at their normal seats and joining them.
“My dudes,” Argyle bellows. “How’s it going?”
“Ugh, don’t get me started,” Nancy groans.
Jonathan winces. “Those assholes at work again?”
“Yes,” Nancy exclaims. “I need to find another job but this is the best I could get after school.”
“Could be worse,” Robin adds.
“I know, I just hate working there.”
Steve stares at the paper in front of him with a confused expression. “What do you guys think of this one?”
He turns the paper around to reveal a hand turkey covered with red drops resembling blood. What would normally be the feathers are now plucked off and surrounding the turkey leaving the pink underneath. Or at least that’s what it looks like. It could just be pink feathers and a turkey standing on a pile of leaves. But that wouldn’t explain the X’s for eyes.
“Are you seriously grading hand turkeys right now?” Robin rolls her eyes. “And you think your job is hard.”
“Try to teach a bunch of first graders basic math after they’re all hyper from recess and then get back to me. And it’s not just hand turkeys. There’s also spelling tests somewhere in here.”
Jonathan takes the paper from Steve’s hand, showing it to Argyle better with a very concerned glare. “I think you might need to talk to this kid.”
“He drew a murdered turkey, dude. Kid’s got issues.”
Steve takes the picture back, assessing it more. “I mean, those could be leaves.”
Robin points to the picture. “And that’s not blood.”
“Yeah, I need to talk to the kid.” Steve turns it over and sees the name. “Wait, this is Bobby’s. His parents hunt wild turkeys. That’s normal.”
A man with long, brown curly hair approaches the group, wearing a leather jacket with a band tee and black jeans. “Sorry to interrupt but, Wheeler?” He turns toward Nancy, pointing softly at her.
“Oh my god, Eddie?” Nancy smiles standing up to give him a hug. “How are you? I haven’t seen you since high school.”
“Eh, it’s been better. But you, I saw the article you did last month. Best thing I ever read in the news.” Eddie sits down on the chair across from Nancy.
Steve is trying his hardest not to stare and keep grading his stack of papers, but it’s hard. Robin elbows him in the side and widens her eyes in a “Really?”. Steve shrugs in his defense, taking a sip of his mocha. Robin rolls her eyes.
“Aw, thank you. I worked hard on that. What are you up to now?”
“Kinda between jobs at the moment. I work as a freelance artist but I’m taking a break from that becoming a tattoo apprentice.”
“That is so cool, dude,” Argyle interrupts from across the table.
Nancy has a moment of realization. “Right. Eddie, these are my friends. Robin, Steve, Jonathan, and Argyle. Guys, this is my old friend from high school, Eddie.”
“Nice to meet you guys.”
The group replies with varied greetings, Steve and Eddie holding eye contact a bit longer than the rest of the group does. Resulting with another jab in Steve’s ribs from Robin. He yells at her with his eyes for her to stop.
“So, do you live in the city now?” Nancy goes back to addressing just Eddie.
He scratches at his chin with a pained faced. “Kinda. Moved here to live with my ex a few months ago. And then he sort of cheated on me, so I’m trying to find somewhere else, but money’s kind of tight right now.”
“Ugh, that sucks,” Nancy winces. “I’m sorry.”
“Is what it is.”
Nancy turns to Robin, whispering something in her ear. Robin shrugs and whispers something back.
“You know, if you wanted to, no pressure or anything,” Nancy starts. “But, my old roommate just moved out and I’m looking for a new one. It’s a nice place my grandma rents to me so it’s rent controlled. I know we haven’t talked much since high school, but it’s yours if you want it.”
“Have to think about it, and see the place. But that might be nice.”
“And you’d live across from me and Steve,” Robin adds, earning her an elbow to the ribs.
Eddie smiles flirtatiously. “Well that does sweeten the pot.” He notices the hand turkey still laying on the table. “What the fuck is wrong with that hand turkey?”
“I already said I would talk to the kid,” Steve groans.
“Why is this is this kid going on turkey hunting trips anyway,” Jonathan asks, concerned.
Steve shrugs. “How would I know, not my kid.”
Argyle reaches into his front pocket and pulls out a joint, handing it to Steve. “For your troubles.”
“This group is great,” Eddie laughs to himself, already agreeing to Nancy’s offer in his head.
General information about the fic here
Tag list (just tagged everyone who seemed interested, let me know if you want to be added or taken off) @slowandsteddie, @annieofhearts, @cacdyke, @ubpd, @captain--low, @thespaceantwhowrites, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @anne-bennett-cosplayer, @lunaticparisianlady, @apomaro-mellow, @dolphincliffs, @dragonmama76, @maggiebug417
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