#sorry im rambling and probably not making sense ive had a few drinks

[resthomeforrobots]

i wanna talk more about my little bastard oc, bug, so yeah general info and a bit of storyline under the cut

ive already mentioned that theyre big stupid. theyre also autistic, and just. do not pick up on negative vibes at all. theyre way too trusting, despite logically being well aware that theyre putting themself in dangerous situations. its not that they ignore red flags, its just that they have a very high tolerance for bullshit.

they pretty much live in tank tops, jeans with the knees blown out, their trusty old boots, their favorite flannel, and a giant denim jacket thats way too big. they drive a rusty red pick up truck thats constantly on the verge of breaking down, and everything they own fits in the back seat. they cut their hair with literally anything other than scissors, including but not limited to: their pocket knife, wire cutters, and a piece of a broken bottle. theres no real reason for their aversion to using scissors; they just think its funny. most of the time their hair is an ugly grown out shag cut, but they will just hack off any chunk of it when its falling in their eyes/too warm on the back of their neck/otherwise bothering them.

they grew up in upstate ny, and have driven through many states in their search for conclusive evidence of the supernatural. mostly, they hunt ghosts, but they also have a fascination for unsolved murders/disappearances and cryptids. their interest in unsolved disappearances is why they end up near newt in the first place, leading to their meeting nubbins in a purportedly haunted graveyard.

they are incredibly disorganized in all things, aside from their evidence binder. theyve spent hours lovingly labelling photos and mementos of various investigations, meticulously categorized in a system that only makes sense to them.

other hobbies include making their own jewelry out of anything they can get their hands on (can tabs, junk they find on the ground, beads they pilfer from other pieces of jewelry.. if it can be threaded onto string or dangled from an ear, they will wear it), drawing, singing badly and loudly, and collecting cassettes. they have an old milk crate in the back overflowing with tapes from various genres.

anyway, they meet nubbins in a graveyard, and give him a ride home. they talk about all kinds of stuff, and nubbins lets them leave, both of them expecting to never see each other again. and then they meet again in a DIFFERENT cemetery literally like 2 days later. this time, bug invites him to get breakfast at an all night diner, and they end up showing each other their photography and talking for hours. bug drives him home again. from there, it becomes a game for bug to try and find him. when they do, theyll spend the evening messing around in cemeteries and the surrounding areas, taking photos of headstones and random stuff they find, and then getting food afterward.

one night, nubbins lets slip that his house is probably haunted because lots of people have died there, and this obviously peaks bugs curiosity. cue days of begging to check the place out, and days of nubbins refusing.

and then he stops showing up. bug checks four graveyards in two counties, and doesnt find him. doesnt see him for a week. and makes the genius decision to go to his house, since they know where it is after dropping him off so many times.

they end up catching a glimpse of bubba, freaking out, almost getting murdered, and are saved only by the fact that nubbins is on the ground floor working on a new piece of bone decor and recognized their voice.

its the middle of the day, so drayton is still at the gas station, and nubbins easily convinces bubba to leave bug alone, although now theres the big problem of what to do with them.

naturally, he decides that the smartest thing to do is hide them in his room, which works for about 2 days before drayton realizes that hes hiding something. considering the fact that nubbins is about as subtle as a jackhammer, the fact that he lasted that long is impressive.

by this point, theyve befriended bubba, and drayton certainly isnt going to dirty his hands by killing them, so they just kinda live there. since they have such a high tolerance for bullshit, theyre just like "yeah i guess this is my life now"

they endear themselves to drayton via washing dishes, cleaning the house, and helping keep nubbins from doing extra stupid shit, and are eventually allowed to leave the house, so long as nubbins or drayton are with them.

the stifling of their freedom is deeply annoying, but the sawyer farm is a treasure trove of supernatural activity, so they manage to keep busy, and they do eventually become a trusted family member

#at first i was like.. bugnub #but now im like. nb lesbian/aroace solidarity #its funny like i do ship nubbins with multiple characters and also my own dumb ass #BUT. in my mind those ships all exist within an au in which nubbins isnt aroace #within my brain nubbins could never actually date a human person like i just dont think he even thinks about it #well ok i also dont think he thinks too much about anything that hes not currently experiencing #sorry im rambling and probably not making sense ive had a few drinks #bug tag #i like how any time i say literslly anything im like 'this probably doesnt make sense ive had a few drinks' #oc tag #nubbug tag #bug.txt

[taejikookiee]

🖤 Bloo Scenario🖤

You and Bloo being in a open relationship and him not liking the fact that you flirt with other guys in a club which leads to a confession. 

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You adjusted your hair in the mirror as your friend handed you another shot of soju to down before you headed out. “Is Bloo going to be there tonight?’ (YF/n) asked, “I mean probably when isn’t he out” you scoffed, “I guess you two are still arguing then” your friend laughed, “when aren’t we? He has a stick up his ass about something but he won’t say what and I’m not going to force it out of him” you rolled your eyes before downing the shot, hissing at the familiar burning of your chest. “But we all know who he will be texting tonight when he is drunk” you stated matter of factly. 

You and Bloo had been in an open relationship for months now, it was more of a sexual relationship within a great friendship, we both didn’t like the idea of commitment but enjoyed each others company and were literally the same person so an open relationship was the best way forward. It was beneficial and had been pretty good for both of your for the first 6 months but over the last few weeks Bloo had been getting pissed at literally everything, if you even looked at another guy he would flip his shit and not talk to you. He was the one that suggested an open relationship in the beginning so his newfound jealousy at you interacting with other men just didn’t make sense to you. Either way you were determined to have a good time tonight, work had been hell recently and you needed to let your hair down. 

“Ready?” You asked your friend before picking up your bag and adjusting your silk mini dress. 

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The loud bass matched your heartbeat as your downed another shot with your friend egging you own. Being in a somewhat relationship with Bloo meant going out a lot so you could handle your alcohol. The familiar sight of a good friend caused your face to light up, “MILLI!!!!” You hollered wrapping your arms around his neck as he giggled saying hi, you and Wonjae went to high school together so had practically known each other forever and were basically best friends, he was the person who introduced you to Bloo in the first place in fact. 

“Ive missed you cutie” Kid Milli cooed giving you a spin to admire you “I saw you last week” you laughed, you had a flirty personality and everyone knew that but you and Wonjae really pushed the boundary of flirting and everyone found it extremely entertaining to see how far you would push each other, but you both knew the limits. “Like what you see” you winked pushing your boobs together, causing his boys to laugh, “always” he replied kissing you on the cheek. “Drink?” He asked ordering bottles for the table. Little did you know Bloo was standing two tables away sending daggers your way.

 Your friend had found her man of choice for the night so you enjoyed yourself with Milli and his boys who you had met before. You and Wonjae were being your typical goofy pairing and were dancing together until the familiar red hair of Nafla caught your attention meaning Bloo wouldn’t be far behind, Wonjae followed your gaze to see the pretty boy staring in your direction. “still arguing then?” He laughed sipping on his drink as you danced together, “Of course” you muttered rolling your eyes as you saw Bloo move towards you and Kid Milli, you tried to tell your heart to stop beating so fast because you were still mad at him and didn’t want to feel the usual butterflies that seeing Bloo set off in your stomach, “(y/n) can we talk” Bloo mumbled, you looked at Milli pleading with you eyes for him to get you out of this situation, him being his annoying self, sipped his drink, raising his hands “Im leaving you to it” he laughed walking away as you sent daggers into his back. 

“I want to smoke can we do this outside” you suggested picking up your bag and walking away without even acknowledging his answer. You pulled out a cigarette as Bloo did the same as you entered the smoking area outside which was surprisingly empty thankful. “So what did you want to speak about?” You puffed releasing the smoke from your mouth, “I’m sorry” he huffed taking you aback, Bloo wasn’t the type to apologise so easily so you were confused. “sorry for what Bloo? You’ve been in such a shitty mood with me the last few weeks for no reason, if you don’t want to do this anymore then just tell me! We can end it hear before it ruins our friendship aswell” you exclaimed offering him an out as you really didn’t want to ruin your friendship by ending on bad terms because he really was your best friend.

“No, thats not what I want” he responded, “okay well tell me what you want! We can’t keep doing this back and fort of you being angry at me for no reason, then us not talking for a week, me forgiving you without an apology because I have a soft spot for you then us sleeping together when we are drunk! It is not healthy for us!” You were getting frustrated by his lack of explanation. 

“I know, I know.. its just I get so frustrated when I see you with those guys and especially him! Like I know I have no right to be angry that is the nature of out relationship but I want you all to myself and it just gets me so angry to see their hands on you, to see you laugh at their jokes, to see you sharing drinks, FUCK!” He rambled running his hands through his head crouching down, you could tell whatever was annoying his was worse than your normal tiffs by his reaction. You put out your cigarette lowering your self to his level cupping his face in your hands brushing his hair out his face, smelling the familiar sent of whiskey and smoke that comforted you normally. “Baby whats the matter… just tell me” You reasoned seeing his red eyes caused your heart to beat uncontrollably. 

“…. I want you all to my self (y/n) … I want us to be in a real relationship so no one else can even try to touch you, or make you laugh, especially Wonjae” he pouted as he said Wonjaes name which made you giggle. The thought of you being in a real relationship is something that had crossed your mind before, come to think of it you hadn’t even been out with another guy other than Bloo or Milli in more than 4 months and no other guy was even getting any of your attention… maybe you had deeper feelings than you had thought. 

Bloo placed his lips on yours pulling you out of your thoughts, and for the first time your heart was beating uncontrollable as you kissed passionately, you had kissed millions of times before but this felt like so much more, “I really like you (y/n) like… like you like you” he giggled pulling away as you both stood up. “Maybe this could work” you bite your lip as he wrapped his arms around your waist. “So is that a yes?” He raised his eyebrow, “ummmmm I don’t remember you asking me a quessssssstion” you teased, he rolled his eyes, “will you be my girlfriend” he asked annoyed with your stupidity, “I guess you…..” You trailed looked down as if it wasn’t a big deal, you looked up to see his beaming smile before he kissed you once again. 

“Btw … If Choi Wonjae lays a hand on you again I will ruin his pretty little face” he muttered against your lips causing you to laugh uncontrollably, “I promise baby… I’m all yours” 

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MASTERLIST - https://taejikookiee.tumblr.com/post/643925002253713408/masterlist-kpop-khhpkrb

#Bloo #Bloo reaction #Daniel Kim #Kim Daniel #mkit bloo #mkit #mkitrain #mkit rain #mkit rain reaction #Mkitrain reaction #Daniel Kim reaction #Kim Daniel reaction #khhp #khhp reaction #khhp scenarios #Bloo scenario

[clownbeep]

This is gonna be kinda brutal. But I want to put it into writing

Big vent/whats been going on

Hah... I guess this is like my life story or some shit...

Trigger warning ahead.. Depression and a bit of gore/suicide talk so if you are sensitive to that please, for your own sake and mental state you might not want to continue.

For those who dont want to hear a pretty dark vent, I understand.

And those who are just scrolling by feel free to scroll past. I just personally want to get this out.

If you have dealt with emotional neglect/abuse and need to know it isnt in your head this might be the post.

By writing this it feels like hopefully someone else will read this and realise certain things are NOT healthy.

If you are questioning if you are being emotionally neglected/abused (im speaking in a parental sense but even romantically or sexually) im not someone to give you answers, but the fact you are questioning it raises some red flags. In a healthy relationship you dont wonder those things.

Sorry for the long prelude but heres what I wanted to say

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.

.

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Ever since I was young, ive had bad ADHD, manic bipolar/depression, and sensory issues.

I was diagnosed around 13 I believe. My family (I didnt realise it then) always showed pity. Like I was some wild animal that couldnt be tamed and there was nothing they could do. Id do and say stupid attention seeking things just to try and get a shred of empathy.

My family didnt care.

When I was in the hospital for a suicide attempt regaurding pills and my liver had a chance of failing.. None of my family members cried over me. But a family friend. Someone not. Even. Related. Wept over me.

My family didnt care.

I cant say they never cared. They give me food water and luxuries like internet and a phone. For that I am grateful.

But in many other ways they have hurt me faar more than helped.

Once I got out of a short term stay in an inpatient mental facility I desperately needed contact with anyone who would care for me.

I have a younger sister, quite young probably around 7 at the time. She was a close friend of mine for that time. Id hang out with her so often to fill the gap in love it felt my family didnt give. One day I walked into the dining room and overheard my mother and father talking to my little sister. They told her to keep away because I wasnt "stable" because I was "dangerous" and could give her bad Ideas. And with one single action my only friend at the time and way to find happiness was taken away.

My family did not care.

When I stay in bed every day for months on end not knowing which day ill snap and end it all.... I get called lazy.

My family did not care

When I beg for medication to make me a functional human being they brush me off for years on end. Im losing my grip. I can barely remember things that have happened last week because I try so hard to forget everything its my automatic response to everything.

When I cant get to sleep because all of the memories come flooding back and im hit by wave after wave of horrific memories and the feeling if worthlessness... When I cant watch any videos or read posts about families because it brings on unwanted memories and emotions....

Is it me being dramatic then?

When you hear your family openly mocking and laughing about how stupid and dramatic and fake trans people are... How weird and unnatural and mentally insane these people are not knowing they are the very reason grsm and trans suicides are so high...

Am I a liar now? Am I insane?

When I tried to talk to them about my mental health issues. They took my only way of contact and made me feel like it was my own fault.

My family didnt care.

When I was nearly passed out shaking in a bathtub covered in wounds and blood all over... They showed pity, then lectured me for an hour for not telling them or for being impulsive and basically cleaned my wounds and sent me into my room.

My family didnt care.

Yes. I do agree, they cleaned my wounds, the physical side of showing care. However emotionally they were not there.

When my father drinks so heavilly every day he is home from work that he forgets half the things he tells you and can barely function.. They lecture my older sister for having a glass of wine (legal age)

They did not care.

My sister (23) tried for so many years to cling to what little attention she would get by getting good grades and going to college... She realised that it changed nothing about how my family felt toward her.... She snapped.

My family did not care.

She starves herself for a disease she does not have, she uses religion as an exuse to be one of the biggest christian extremists I personally know. Half the days she doesnt eat... Other days she burns book and gets rid of items for being demonic.

My lovely sister used to be kind and quite normal. However she couldnt find comfort in what little live her family gave. Starved for care she turned to religion to un unhealthy degree. Finding any way to keep her mind busy. Now I worry she will end up in the hospital for weighing so little.

My family did not care.

My oldest sister (27) Is married to a continuously cheating husband who she keeps letting back into her life. She was raised with a failing marrige and doesnt seem to see when she should call it quits.

Not to mention her husband has touched someone legally under the age of concent. Did she report him to the authorities? No.

All of these horrific things stemming from bad parenting. Unhealthy relationships and neglect.

Neglect emotionally can cause just as bad things as physical neglect. They are both horrifically dangerous in different ways.

These are the only big things I can remember... Basically age 15 and below are a complete blur to me and I cant remember much of it without thinking for a looong time. Even then I cant remember a lot of it... I feel like ive lost my whole damn childhood. And it hurts more than if they had just hit me or physically harmed me.

Im not underplaying physically harm. But in my personaly opinion I would rather my family have beaten me badly because at least then id have an easier way to prove to people how severe the abuse was. You can see bruises and confirm broken bones... But years of feeling completely useless and being shut off from most of the world other than the internet... It fucks you up in a way I dont think can be healed.

I dont know if I can ever love myself or... Remember things. Its terrifying to think Ill post this and a few weeks later probably not even rememner unless its brought up. Or meeting people and having conversations... And they are just... Gone.

Gone.

I suppose the biggest reason im writing this is well... In the future I dont want to forget in some ways.. I want like to be 100× as awesome knowing itll start as soon as im out of here..

If I dont have anything to compare it too then what is the point?

Ive layed out basically most of what I remember

A large amount of time I look around and nothing registers... Everything is familiar but I cant remember anything for a moment or two.. I feel like my memory is slipping so fast and im terrified.. I cant do anything to stop it and I cant make my mood be stable without the medication my family cant be bothered to get ...

I suppose this is a bit of a vent. I know its kind of everywhere and unorganized..

If im honest.. Tumblr is the only place where people have given me a home I wish I had..

I came out as trans here... Everyone was so damn supportive.. I didnt say anything but I cried hard and the kindness.. It was amazing.. It was such a jarring difference to how I feel when I say anything in real life.

Ive met friends here and ive had some much fun here. If youve stuck around this far thank you so much.. If you didnt I dont blame you.

I just wanted to share what has been flashing in my head these past few days.. It hurts a lot and ive even considered suicide recently..

Im trying hard. As hard as I can.. I have no escape though.

I cannot leave home. I cannot escape. Im not being dramatic.

I

CANT

LEAVE

And its terrifying because I know without medication or at least being somewhere AWAY from family.... I feel like im going to break soon.

I dont want to do anything stupid.. But some days I cant think straight and do things that harm myself and its not good. Its not okay. Im aware that I need help but I have no idea where to go/turn.. I have no ID or drivers liscence.. I have no transportation to and from a job to get money so I can leave... I live in the middle of nowhere.... I just..

I dont want to lose touch. I dont want to do anything bad.. I want to be functional.. I want to do more than eat and sleep my life away because I have nothing else to do..

Im so damn sick and tired of this all.. And at times I really do feel like there is only one way out.

Its always there and I just feel like one of these days im gonna be pushed over the edge and not be thinking clearly enough to stop it.

Im thinking semi clearly right now which is my im posting this.. Because im afraid and alone.

I have nowhere to go irl I have no friends Irl i just have tumblr and media and thats it. I dont expect anyone to be able to help I just wanted to write this so anyone knows what happens if I leave media..

If I tell my family my issues they will blow me off again for the 11th time or so (not exaggerated)

And if I do something to get sent to the hospital and get the help I need the cycle will continue with them being pissed and me getting sent home in a month or less anly for my family relationships to get worse..

Im spiraling fuether and further and I cant keep up the facade of being fine. I need help. And i have no way to get it. Ive just been suffering for years...

Sitting around and doing nothing but using your phone or drawing or whatever sound fun in theory... But if thats all youve been able to do for years with little to no real life social contact its gonna mess with your head... I dont want to be a shut in... I just

I dont know what to do.

Im sorry for rambling. I will most likely delete this later feeling embarrassed I posted this...

Im just tired..

#trigger warning #triggering #may be triggering #vent #emotional neglect #emotional abuse #suicide #suicide trigger #gore warning #memory problems #ramble #rambles