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thestudyfeels · 6 years

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hello there! this is part three of the get your shit together series! note: this article is a bit philosophical and wisdom-y, bc lmao i’m writing this thing at a way-too-late o’ clock so I’m going to shout at y'all and try to hammer this (good) shit into your heads the hard way. I apologize in advance, friend.

The Harsh Reality

I want you to do a reality check right now. C'mon, do it. How much did you get done today? Did you procrastinate yet again? 99% chances are that you did and that you failed to complete your to-do list. yet again. hey, don’t go away just yet. I’m just showing you what’s popping in your lives right now. And holy moly, you are wasting your life. That’s the harsh reality. I don’t know how else to break it to you, but yeah, you are wasting your life. As for feeling offended, you should. if you are, I can tell you that it’s working. I’m going to do magic here, just wait. alright, I want you to take a look, a deep look, into this picture. this is the number of weeks an average 90 year old has in his/her life. The number of years you too have, take or give a few more. And as Tim Urban said in his TedTalk, there aren’t really that many boxes! specially since we have used quite of them! now most probably you are shrugging this off by thinking “yo taylor, there are still quite a few left. and to be accurate, we still have more that half of those boxes left. Chill dude.” and hey, you are not wrong. But here’s a different view towards it. Do you think you’ll be able to work your best when you are old and your bones are dying and you can literally hear a pop sound when you stretch everyday? you won’t. And even if you think you will, (I’ll pray for your bones, mate #rip) you wouldn’t want to. Wouldn’t you want to use the later years in your life to enjoy the fruits of your hard work? most likely, you would. So if that’s the case, I’m here to tell you that time is running out. Seriously. you don’t have enough of it.

Why Are You Doing This?

the biggest reason why people waste their time is because we haven’t learn how precious it is. We don’t understand that our life is super short. That humans are mortal and one day or another, we won’t be there anymore. We don’t understand that we only have a few decades to become the person we aspire to be, to live the dreams we’ve have had since forever. We believe if we don’t do our work today, it’s ok because we have tomorrow. And if not tomorrow, hey next year sounds great.

Every single thing takes a hell lot of time. An person sleeps for an average of 7 hours a day. That’s 49 hours a week. And 210 hours a month. And that’s 2520 hours a year. So, you sleep for more than 105 days straight in a year. Thus, you sleep for an approx of a complete year in four years of your life. Isn’t that a LOT of time? And that’s not all. We humans waste our time on a lot of other things and I only took the example of sleep, which is absolutely necessary. I didn’t even consider the other unnecessary things we spend our time on like cough, tumblr-ing, watching netflix etc. That’s why, it’s time that you learn to value your time more than anything else. Because your “real life” that comes after subtracting all the necessary and unnecessary things that you do, is really really short. and I’m not joking, I promise.

Loving Your Life

so now that you know how preciously short your life is, the next important thing is loving it.

why love it?

we only value things we care for or if them are necessary to us. We care for our friends and family bc we love them. We value our phone bc it’s impt to us and we can’t live without it. so unless you love your life, how will you ever value it? you’ll go on living with the flow, never getting the time to try out new things and to live life. Learn to love your life. It’ll change your entire perspective towards it.

ok but how do we do that then?

well, I got you mate. And no lmao, you don’t have to put up cute quotes on your dresser saying things like “yay, you are amazing!! I love you!!.” Those things are great, but loving life isn’t as easy as that. Nothing worth having comes easy. There you go, your quote for the day. But yes, there will be days when you have low self-esteem, and you’ll feel like beating yourself up for the smallest of the things. However if you truly love your life, you will be able to pick yourself up and clean up your own mess without too many pity-parties. well, here’s the only method to love your life, in the real way i.e. not the cheesy one, and it is - living in the present. story time, something I realized on my second last trip was that I never remembered what I had done on trips I had been on before. and in fact the reason wasn’t bc I had a bad memory, bc I had an amazing memory! (ur girl’s killin’ it in history, come tHRU) the reason was not being present at all. I was living on autopilot all throughout the trip, looking forward to what I was going to do next, than enjoying what I was doing now. As a result, I didn’t make any great memories. This time however, I was prepared.

how did I do this? / how do we live in the present?

remind yourself again and again to focus on what’s happening now, forget about what you’ll do in the future.

if reminding doesn’t help, literally tell yourself what you’re doing right now. When I was visiting this museum, I would tell myself - "now you are going to go into this beautiful place. Make some great memories.”

jot down what you did. I used to forget what I did all the time, so I started writing what I was doing including the tiny things that happened and honestly this has helped me so much.

the gratefulness list. every time you feel like you are living in autopilot, remind yourself of a wonderful day you have spent and tell yourself that if you live in autopilot you won’t remember any happy memories (how scary is that, and it has happened to me so trust me, it ain’t fun) & then force yourself not to zone out and come back to the present.

now ofc you are thinking - how does living in the present help you fall in love with your life?

well, it does. Once you start living in the present, you start noticing smol tiny details in the picture which you earlier wouldn’t have noticed. Suddenly, on my fall trip, I could see the tiny flowers near our hotel’s garden which would have passed my notice earlier. I noticed how I didn’t reach for my phone that much, other than to write down the day’s events. And obviously, I remembered laughing over zombie movies with my friends on the trip, I remembered the cheerful smile this woman gave me when I thanked her for helping me, I remembered all the tiny happy memories we had made. bc unless you start enjoying the little things in your life, and start “living”, how would you even expect to live a beautiful life? you need to be grateful and thankful for the happy memories you have made along the way if you want to be able to enjoy the life you live. And ofc unless you love your life, you won’t be able to value it. AND unless you value your life, there’s no question of conquering it.

The Action Plan

so now what? it’s time to realize that the person you love, aka you, is running out of time to become the person you would love to be. won’t you try to help yourself? here’s what to do. roll up your sleeves, use that beautiful mind you have, and mold your dream life out of your present one. it’s gonna take lots of hard work and hustle, but I know you have it in you. leggo.

hello! still there with me? hAH but i rly enjoyed preaching in this post and writing it for you guys bc honestly loving the life you live and living your life in the way you want is truly the best feeling in the world. but yup, I won’t bore you anymore (I will, but that’s in another masterpost, don’t leave me hAHA) so that’s it, it’s a wrap! if you have any questions/suggestions regarding anything I said up there, feel free to send in a message! my other masterposts are here and to request a masterpost, leave your question in my ask box!

I hope you all are well, stay safe and conquer life, you amaze conqueror. much love, Taylor (´｡• ᵕ •｡`) ♡

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gilrlikegirl · 7 years

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Thoughts

Buckle up y'all this is gonna be a lonnggg one.

I know that I truly love her because she hurt me on a whole another level and I still love her. I have a right to be mad at her, but I’m not. I “should be” speaking poorly of her, but I’m not, I only speak positively about her. I could have flipped out on her, but I didn’t, I don’t want to, I see no need to. I could be the most bitter thing towards her, but I’m not, I don’t want to be, I let her go knowing that I love her and I always will, she will always have someone to turn to. I could have left her before she got the chance to leave me, but I didn’t, I gave her the decision, because if it was up to me we would be in each other’s lives forever. I want her to be free, I want her to be happy, I want her to know that she matters, I want her to know she is so dearly loved, I want her to know she is so incredibly unique and special, I want her to know I will always love her, I want her to know that my arms will always be wide open for her, I want her to know that I have yet to find anything that compares to her, I want her to know that she is so valued, I want her to know that there will always be a spark of love in my heart for her, I want her to know that I love all of her, even though I don’t know every single detail of her life, I see who she is because of it, she is strong and beautiful and so gentile and she has been hurt, I can see those parts of her and I love her. I don’t only love her because she is the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen, I loved her because she was raw, she had such spark about certain things, she understood, she listened, she was patient, she had a way with words, she could make me melt in a single sentence, she worked so hard, she made me feel like I mattered to someone, to at least her and that is all I needed in life, she gave purpose to life, she saw the beauty of things and the sad side of things, her mind took a while to learn, but once I got a drift of how it worked I fell in love, she has so much genuine love for her pets, she was true, she was the definition of cuteness, she was such a goofball, she had sass, she changed me, she made me happy, she made me smile, she made me cry, she made me sad. She was the only person I let my walls down for. I gave her my heart and forever I think she will have it, maybe one day it won’t be all of it, but she will always have the majority of it. I wanted to know all of her. I wanted to know her full story of life. I wanted to know why she is the person she is, I wanted to understand her in a way that no one had before, I wanted to be the one for her, I wanted to know all major events of her life, all the little ones too, I wanted to know the little things that she loved, the tiny facts that no one pays attention to, I wanted to truly know her, I wanted to feel her pain and joy, I wanted to know her favorite memories and her least favorite, I wanted to know her favorite thing about herself, I wanted to know her least favorite thing about herself. I wanted her to know I would love her no matter what. I wanted to spoil her, I wanted to take her on dates, I wanted to love her in her best and worst moments, I wanted to take her places, I wanted to finish that game of 20 questions, I wanted to love her through every mood and phase, I wanted to take her to the movies and leave not even knowing what the movie was about, I wanted to hold her hand, I wanted to give her my jacket when she got cold, I wanted to hug her, I wanted to kiss her forehead just because I could, I wanted to stare into her beautiful eyes and just think “wow”, I wanted to take her out to dinner, I wanted to stargaze with her by my side, I wanted to give her a massage after a long day at work, I wanted to dance in the rain with her, I wanted to hold her at night when she got frightened because of a nightmare, I wanted to fall asleep next to her, I wanted to wake up next to her, I wanted to see her do something she loved and watch how she would light up, I wanted to go on deep conversation walks, I wanted to be with her, I just wanted to be in her presence, I wanted to do that cute little run hug thing and then fall on our butts because it’s not a movie, I wanted to show her everything, I wanted to take her to New York City and Paris, I wanted to love her forever, I wanted to wake up every day just feeling so happy because I got to be with my love, I wanted to take her to that place she dreamed about, where we could love each other endlessly, where we could be ourselves without worries, where we would shiver from closeness, where nothing would stand in our way, where it would be every thing that she dreamed of and so much more, I want to take her there and be with her. I wanted to fall asleep listening to her voice, I wanted to show up at her work and order breakfast, only paying in change, because I know it annoys the crap out of her, I wanted to look at her, I mean just look at her, take in her beauty, I wanted to know every scar on her body and where it came from, I wanted to give her some of my own clothes, so that she would think of me every time she wore them, I wanted to buy her everything that her little heart desired, I wanted to give my little girl a kiss whenever she was down, I wanted to be a brat whenever she would try to kiss me and turn my head so that she would end up kissing my cheek, then she would get upset and she would make me kiss her, I wanted to tell her all of my useless knowledge, I wanted to tell her all of my stupid thoughts and ideas, I wanted to horribly sing love songs to her, I wanted her to meet my puppy, I wanted to meet her little bunny, I wanted to do all stupid cheesy sappy stuff with her, I wanted to teach her how to play soccer, I wanted to watch the sunset with her, I wanted to wake up early and see the sunrise with her, I wanted to enjoy her favorite month (October) together, I wanted to tackle her into a pile of leaves and then run away from her chasing me trying to tackle me, I wanted to carve a pumpkin with her, I wanted to just sit with her watching the leaves fall, enjoying the silence that we rarely ever have, I wanted to wake up extra early to make her breakfast, I wanted to get all bundled up with her go to the beach and watch the way the waves crash onto the shore, and see how the fall waves differ from the summer time waves, I wanted to catch lightning bugs with her and then let them go because we want them to be free, I wanted to take her to Starbucks and get the cliche seasonal drinks, I wanted to go through a flipping corn maze holding her hand, and I wanted to get lost doing so because we were being such morons, I wanted to watch her kick ass on the court, I wanted to kiss her in the moonlight on a night time fall walk, because I can’t resist kissing my little cutie, I wanted to be with her while the seasons changed and we had to deal with the terrible winters that we get up here, I wanted to play in the snow with her, because we truly are children at heart, I wanted to tackle her into pile of snow and again have to run away from her chasing me, I wanted to catch snow flakes on our tongues, I wanted to have snowball fights with her, I wanted to go ice skating for my first time with her, and you know of course fall on my ass and have her laugh at me, I wanted to go around looking at Christmas lights with her, and a cup of hot chocolate of course, then I wanted to kiss her when the ball drops and we start a New Year, after that I wanted to give her the absolute best birthday and birthday present ever, whatever that would have been, I would have made it happen. I wanted her to be my cheesy valentine I wanted to buy her a teddy bear and all of that stuff, I wanted to take her out on a ton of dates, whether that be dinner, a movie, stargazing, napping, breakfast, watching the sunset, dancing at 4 in the morning, watching the sun rise, cuddling, going to a carnival, or anything really. I wanted to get to know her in a way that I have never known anyone else before, I wanted to know all about her, I wanted to know all of her thoughts, I wanted to know all of her ideas, I wanted to bring her flowers, I wanted to give her everything, I wanted to be there when she gets sick so that I could give her soup and medicine and make sure that she rests and gets better, I wanted to be there when she gets a tummy ache and just needs to relax, I wanted to do all of this and soooooo much more. She will always be my 11:11 wish, my birthday wish, and my wish upon a star. I truly do think that I love her, I can’t say for sure because love never really was my forte. I believe that I am, because if I’m not in love with her, then what the hell does actually falling in love feel like?!?! Like that must be some crazy shit! I mean this is some crazy shit that I’m feeling to begin with soo….

Thank you for reading my “rant”. If anyone is hurting, I’ve heard that it gets better eventually. I feel your pain, we are all hurting together. Try listening to some Halsey she understands pain. Huge thank you to you guys too! Thank you for letting me air out my thoughts, feelings, and pain, it has helped me so much!

#omg I'm almost crying #this text makes me appreciating those little moments i have and this life i have now with my girl #like i could not have it and I'm so blessed to do all of those things with my true love #thank you for making me realize that I'm actually the happiest person ever #i hope you'll be happy someday #even if not with her then with someone else #but i see that she is the only one who you can be happy with #love #submission #thoughts #love is love #cute #story #textpost #lesbian #lgbt #lgbtq #gay #girls like girls

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