#sofrysoftysoft

[dapandapod]

Being loved

Look, @all-hail-the-witcher​ look, all nice and fluff and kindness!! 

what’s this?! two ficlets in one day?! It turns out I’m bad at being evil and had to do another fic to make up for it xDD It is not even read through, I just want it up, because yes. Enjoy <3  On Ao3 here

Geralt/Eskel learning feelings at Kaer Morhen!

The wonders of being loved. Geralt has always wondered about it, watching Jaskier fall in and out of love every other week. He wonders what it would feel like, to be loved like that.

He doesn’t ask Jaskier about it, of course he doesn’t. That would be silly and embarrassing. But he can’t find it in himself to let it go.

So these thoughts he carries with him, through the passes and the valleys on his way towards Kaer Morhen. He did invite the bard, but he was much too busy falling in love with some lady or other. He meets Lambert by the gate, and greets him with a big hug and a clap on the back. They trade insults on the way to the stables, and when he opens the door and finds Eskel caring for his horse Scorpion, a jolt of excitement shoots through his entire body.

Eskels face breaks into a smile, and as soon as Roach has been put in a stall he pulls him into a hug. Both arms wrapped around his body, chests tightly pressed together.

Eskel should know, he knows so many things. Geralt decides to ask him after dinner, when Lambert isn’t there to tease him.

Eskel pulls back and claps a hand on his shoulder, eyes gentle despite the ragged scars running down his face.

They chatter about their year as they put the horses in order. Lambert slinks of, bored with their ‘old man talk’ and leaves just the two of them alone.

“I’ve missed you.” Eskel says, hanging on the edge of the stall looking at Geralt. A rush of warmth explodes in his chest.

“I’ve missed you too.” Geralt says, feeling strangely embarrassed by it. “I’m glad we made it another year.”

Such is their routine. Settle in, celebrate another year alive, carry on.

The keep in winter is a lot of work, especially in the state it is in now. After that first night or two of reunion, there is wood to chop, deer to hunt, decoctions to brew. Documentation and studying too, if Vesemir ever catches them idle.

After dinner, just before bedtime, Geralt can’t hold it in anymore. He sneaks off to Eskels room, just a few doors down from his own. He is all nerves when he approaches, but not really understanding why.

Eskel opens the door before Geralt can knock. He could probably hear his anxious heartbeat long before he even came close, and he gives a crooked smile.

“Something on your mind?” Eskel guesses and Geralt nods. His tongue seems to have gotten stuck to the roof of his mouth, because Eskel is looking so soft in his sleeping tunic.

Eskel lets him inside, and Geralt takes a seat on the chair next to his working table when Eskel sits down on the bed. Now that he is actually here, he is not sure how to ask it.

“Do you know what it is like to be loved?” He asks hesitantly. Eskel looks surprised and tilts his head and frowns.

“What do you mean?” He asks.

“I mean, Jaskier feels things so intensely. I have seen how happy they look, and I just don’t know what it feels like.” Geralt explains, looking down at his fiddling hands. Maybe this was a bad idea.

“You don’t?”  He can’t look at Eskel, for some reason his fight or flight instinct is triggered. He shakes his head and shrugs, not sure how to explain himself properly.

When Eskel stands up from the bed, Geralt has to look at him though. His brow is still furrowed, and he is holding out a hand.

“Come here.”

Geralt does, he stands up and there is a crackling sensation under his skin when his hand touches Eskels. Curious.

“Do you want to know?” the scarred witcher asks, taking a step closer. Gerald nods hesitantly and feels like he is missing something important.

Eskel laces their fingers together slowly, gently. Both of their hands are dry, rough, callused and scarred. They fit good together, Geralt thinks, and push that thought right out of his head.

Just as slowly as their fingers fit together, Eskel lifts their hands to his mouth. He looks Geralt in the eyes and presses a kiss to the back of his hand, lips lingering.

Warm. Geralt feels warm.

“I feel loved sometimes.” Eskel tells him quietly, lips moving against his hand. “When you look at me like this.” Eskel takes another step forward, rearranging their hands so that he can press Geralt's palm to his chest, right over his heart.

“When you smile at me, my heart is working as hard as if I'm fighting a bruxa. When you came here tonight, all I wanted to do is hold you close.” 

Geralt can’t process. He is busy feeling Eskels chest under his hand, his pulse a fast but steady beat under his palm, his own pulse racing in response.

Is this it?

Geralt looks up into Eskels kind, amber eyes, so much like his own. Eskels frown eases and a soft smile takes its place. With his other hand he pulls Geralt's hair behind his ear, and lets his hand rest against Geralt's neck, just under his ear.

“That is what it’s like to feel loved?” Geralt asks, unbelieving. Eskel nods. “I make you feel like  that?”

“You do.” Eskel confirms, his pulse spiking with the words. Geralt opens his mouth and draws in a ragged breath.

“You still can.” He ventures. “Hold me, that is.”

The sound Eskel makes, something in between a grunt and a whine, when he pulls Geralt to his chest and buries his nose in his neck. Geralt returns the hug eagerly, pressing in as close as he can. 

They are about the same height, but Eskel is so much wider than him. Bulky, with a soft layer on top. They don’t usually hug without their armor on, hell, they usually don’t hug at all.

It feels intimate, and Geralt finally is starting to understand why Jaskier is so gods fucking clingy. Geralt might turn clingy too, if this is what it feels like.

“Will you stay?” Eskel asks, nuzzling closer still.

“Yes.”

There is no way Geralt can leave now. If this is what it feels like, if this is what he makes Eskel feel too, there is nothing that can make him leave.

They cuddle up in Eskels bed together. It is narrow, made for only the one witcher. It makes it all the better when they fit together, limbs tangled in each other, gentle kisses pressed onto foreheads.

“I love you.” Geralt says into the darkness of the room. It feels right.

“I love you too.” Eskel smiles, and the wonders of being loved is a remarkable thing.

#getting together #geskel #geralt/eskel #the witcher #because why not #i am not that evil #i am actually soft #sofrysoftysoft #dapanda writes #fluff #kaer morhen #geralt of rivia #witcher eskel