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#so they can spook them a little bit. murder and mayhem follows but it's mostly confined to the temperature dropping every so often (thus
aion-rsa · 3 years
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Great News! Bob Ross is Still an Unproblematic King
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This article contains spoilers for Bob Ross: Happy Accidents, Betrayal & Greed.
The trailer for Netflix documentary Bob Ross: Happy Accidents, Betrayal & Greed doesn’t say much but still promises a lot. 
Only a little over 30 second long, the teaser clip features creepy chimes, telltale black and white true crime imagery, and the provocative text: “We want to show you the trailer for Bob Ross: Happy Accidents, Betrayal & Greed but we can’t. Find out why on August 25.”
Wow! Netflix, arguably the most powerful media entity on the planet, is so spooked at the raw truth of a Bob Ross documentary that it’s hesitant to even share it with the public. This is a streaming service that premiered Tiger King: Murder, Mayhem and Madness just last year. And in case you needed a reminder on that thing’s whole deal, that was a docuseries that began with someone having their arm torn off by a tiger and then got only more intense and weird from there. 
Surely, this Bob Ross news is going to be so Earth-shattering that the pop culture landscape will never recover. Ross, the genial landscape artist who brought his love of art to generations with The Joy of Painting on PBS is a pop culture saint alongside the likes of LeVar Burton, Fred Rogers, and Shari Lewis. Uncovering any kind of dirt on the Bob Ross story would be akin to hiring a creep to replace Alex Trebek on Jeopardy!: unthinkable. 
Well, Bob Ross: Happy Accidents, Betrayal & Greed arrived on Wednesday with little fanfare or buzz. And that’s probably because the big Bob Ross revelations that the documentary posits are as follows:
Bob Ross was a sexy guy who had one (1) affair.
The prices on his licensed merchandise were a bit too high.
His producers are dicks who are trying to control his estate with an iron fist.
To be clear, the documentary is mostly concerned with that last bit. One can deduce that the reason why Netflix was hesitant to reveal a trailer was for fear of litigation. Much of the documentary surrounds the actions of Walter and Annette Kowalski, the producers who discovered Ross, exploited his labor, and who now control his assets against the will of Bob’s family. 
Still, in light of the influx of “this is the craziest story ever!” documentary filmmaking of late, Happy Accidents, Betrayal & Greed feels unacceptably sparse. There’s certainly a story about greed to be told in here, it just needed more time to develop (and for more subjects to feel comfortable to be interviewed without fear of legal reprisal). 
Ultimately, this documentary is more a failure of marketing than a failure of filmmaking. The doc, produced by husband and wife duo Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone and directed by Joshua Rofé, doesn’t set up the same sense of grandiosity as its trailer does. The film is surprisingly (and sometimes frustratingly) up front about its limitations. Its interview base is slight, its focus is narrow, and even its physical evidence is lacking – the story’s climax makes mention of tapes that Ross made before dying at 52 from Non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma but never uncovers said tapes. 
It also must be said that the folks behind the documentary clearly have love for Bob Ross and the years of wholesome entertainment he provided. The screeners that Netflix provided for critics were accompanied by a 14-page document that featured a lengthy narrative quoting McCarthy, Falcone, and Rofé about why they wanted to make the film. Falcone and McCarthy recount how their difficulties in trying to find an original Bob Ross painting to give the other as a gift further intrigued them.
“In today’s age, that made no sense to me, when you can find anything about anybody in four seconds, and I was looking for simple stuff,” Falcone said. “That spurred us into just being really curious about, ‘Why is there no stuff?’”
McCarthy, Falcone, and Rofé ultimately get Ross’s son Steven willing to speak on the record for the documentary. That is no small feat as the younger Ross has not made himself available for interviews before. But it’s still not enough to elevate non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma to required viewing.
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The documentary, however, does something far more important than entertain or enlighten: it maintains the mythical legacy of Bob Ross. Because if the only skeleton in the perm-haired prince’s closet is the estate battle he left behind, then perhaps he really is the unproblematic king we all need right now.
Bob Ross: Happy Accidents, Betrayal & Greed is available to stream on Netflix now.
The post Great News! Bob Ross is Still an Unproblematic King appeared first on Den of Geek.
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TITLE: Post mortem viventem
CHAPTER TITLE:  FOUR:  You live because you can. You die, because there are no other choices.
WARNINGS AND RATINGS: Rated T for swearing, major character death and suicide
FANDOMS:  Detroit: Become Human
SUMMARY:  So, if androids don’t have souls, why does Connor see the ghosts of shut down Deviants? Why does he see ghosts in general? (In which Connor sees more than he is meant to, and it changes less than you think.)
Connor listens to Lieutenant Hank Anderson and Captain Jeffery Fowler argue about the case, before Fowler tells him off, dismissing both Connor and Hank from his office. The ghost at his office door bows, and says “I’m sorry Connor.”
Connor’s hands tighten on the door handle, and he mutters a “It’s alright.”
Daniel has his hands behind his head as he asks “So, what now?”
Connor perches himself on Hank’s desk, which makes Rupert give out a loud “Hey! I was going to sit there, asshole!”
Connor gives him a look that says “Does it look like I care?”
Rupert complains louder, before sitting on the floor, pouting.
“We could have solved this case, we just needed more time!” Connor says, frustration creeping into his words (Why is he feeling these emotions he shouldn’t be feeling them make them leave-)
Connor shakes his head. “I know the answer is in the evidence we collected.” He turns to look at Perkins making his slow way to the evidence room. “If Perkins takes that evidence, it’s all over. I’ll be…deactivated and studied to find out what I did wrong…”
“We’ve been taken off the case Connor. There’s nothing we can do.” Hank replies.
Connor looks at Hank. “Five minutes. It’s all I ask.”
Hank considers for a moment, then says “All right. 5 minutes. The key is on my desk.”
Daniel looks around for a minute, then says “I’m going to round up the other ghosts. We’ll try to make some mayhem.” Next to him, Ganymede smiles, and nods in agreement.
There’s a loud “Perkins you COCKSUCKER!” followed by the sound of a fist meeting someone’s face. The lights begin to flicker, and doors begin to open and close on their own. The temperature of the entire station drops a few degrees, and in all the chaos, Connor makes it into the hallway of the evidence room, Hank’s key in hand.
Then he hears Gavin Reed single him out, and Connor has to suppress a groan as he turns to confront the man.
-LINE BREAK-
After narrowly dodging Gavin’s suspicion, and correctly guessing Hank’s password (“FUCKINGPASSWORD?” Rupert had said, looking over his shoulder. “Really?”)
Connor looks at the evidence, looks at the ghosts that have accompanied him, takes an artificial breath in, and begins to search.
And ignoring Henry, who keeps chanting “The truth is inside, the truth is inside, the truth is inside…”
-LINE BREAK-
He deceives the android from Stratford tower and gets the key to Jericho, and when he leaves the evidence room, there’s a thought repeating over and over in his mind, that went something like “Am I preventing the making of ghosts, or am I about to make more? What’s the correct choice, and what’s the wrong one?”
Connor mulls over this for the entire time, not noticing the barrier that blocked his deviancy beginning to show cracks in the wall, splintering like glass, the little hairline fractures spreading across it like spider webs.
-LINE BREAK-
He’s found Jericho.
It’s a big, rusted tanker ship in the middle of an abandoned port that’s located somewhere in the Ferndale district and Connor walks in, LED hidden carefully under a beanie, wearing a jacket he found at a thrift store, and Connor treads very carefully inside, careful to avoid the suspicion of the other androids on the ship. The two Tracis he didn’t capture from the Eden Club don’t notice him, but someone else does.
“You see sprits, do you not?” The female android asks, eyes black and unseeing, the back of her skull missing. “You see something no other person sees.”
Connor stares, and doesn’t trust himself to say anything. The ghosts on the ship, a mix of Human and Android stare at him, and Connor can feel their gazes boring deeper into him. Rupert places a hand on his shoulder, and Daniel phases a hand through his arm, and he snaps back into reality.
(The red wall cracks just a bit more, shards falling to the ground before exploding into dust.)
“You are lost. You haven’t found what you are looking for.” The android continues, and Connor blinks and tries to get his thoughts in order.
(The cracks are growing bigger. They’re visible if Connor bothered to look.)
The android finally releases him, and Connor stumbles up the stairs, not once looking back.
If he looked spooked, well, no one can prove it.
-LINE BREAK-
There are more ghosts on the deck of the ship.
Connor picks his way through them slowly, and makes to the stairs that lead to the helm of the ship.
He stops on the third step. He turns slowly, and faces the crumbling wall of red code and programming that dictates his every move, and shows every command he’s ever had.
[HUNT DEVIANTS. STOP THE REVOLUTION]
The wall has fractures and cracks all over it.
“It’s your choice Connor.” Daniel says, and Connor feels small, because he’s just a singular entity in a world so big that his processors can’t even handle the thought of ghosts of deviated androids but yet they exist and that makes him feel small in a world that’s really big. Daniel stands next to him, and there is a smile, small, sad but not remorseful, despite Connor being the reason why he died.
“It’s your choice. And whatever choice you make, we’ll all stand by your side, okay?” Daniel says, and every ghost present makes their agreement.
Connor, breathes in a breath of cold November air. Exhales.
And he touches the wall, and it shatters into pieces, the little specks flying past his face. He lets his hand drop to his side.
He’s…free.
He’s…alive.
He…now has a full range of emotions and it’s a nightmare.
Connor feels like the pressure on his shoulders is gone. The ghosts are still there, congratulating him on his victory.
And so, he turns, and he continues to climb the stairs.
His people deserve rights, but the number of ghosts that walk the world do not need to increase.
-LINE BREAK-
An Android isn’t alive. A deviant is. They have souls, emotions, feelings, sensations, and all the mental hardships humans have.
They have ghosts, don’t they? So that means they’re alive, and Connor can accept that.
-LINE BREAK-
Connor has his gun pointed at Markus. Jokes on Markus though, Connor left the safety on because he is not accidently shooting the leader of the rebellion.
“What are you doing?” Markus says, looking at Connor as if he is a mad man.
“You’ve killed too many Markus. Stop now, and maybe we can find a peaceful solution to this.” Connor replies, gun steady in his hands. “Let’s just talk with them, they’ll listen.”
Markus scowls. “The only way the humans will listen is through violence.”
Connor shakes his head. “Not all. Some humans will listen to compassion. To kindness. To someone who has no fear of death and speaks to a single word that can part an ocean. There’s a better way out of this Markus.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“How is murdering two innocent men any better? How is waging war any better? You’re not asking for equal rights, you’re asking for genocide!”
“Then so be it.”
Connor frowns, and the ship shudders, the sound of helicopter blades fill the air, and Connor mutters a “Shit.” And looks Markus in the eye.
“I’ve fucked up. I’ve made some ghosts. I’ve accidently led the humans to Jericho because I had a crisis on the stairs and ended up deviating, so let’s get out of here.”
Markus glares at Connor, but both keep the peace to escape Jericho, Connor listening to the ghosts that populate the ship.
-LINE BREAK-
“Go left.”
“Why?”
“Laddie, who is the first captain of Jericho?”
“You…?”
“Exactly. So, when I tell you to go left, you go left, you tosser.”
“Okay, sorry for doubting you.”
“You better be lad.”
-LINE BREAK-
They barely made it out with their lives.
Connor keeps to himself, hands wringing out the water his beanie and jacket, as he tries to figure out how to prevent a war from happening between androids and humans. He knows (mostly through the internet) that the population aren’t very sympathetic towards Markus’s goal, which is understandable. But, with the right words, you could persuade them.
The ghosts in the abandoned chapel easily drown out the chatter of the androids. Connor listens into the conversations, eyes closed as he slides to the floor and leans against the wall.
“…made it out alive, how lucky of them…”
“…do you think they have enough Thirium…”
“…That was nearly the end of the revolution, by rA9…”
“…He shot a man David, people don’t just do that…”
“…When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that amore~…”
“…What is freedom? A social construct made by society or…”
“…What did you do? Where are his hands...”
“…I was hungry for hands! And you know, when you’re hungry for hands…”
“…You can’t be hungry for hands you’re dead, idiot…”
“…Oh yeah…”
“…What is death? Is it only a concept that holds us back…”
“…Shut up you Plato-pretender…”
“…Why do we pretend? Why do we have masks that conceal out true nature from society…”
“…Good job, idiot…”
On the last conversation, Connor tunes back out and looks up, to see Markus staring at him.
“How…dominating…” Rupert mutters, brow furrowed. “I was gonna follow this guy to my death?”
Connor meets his gaze with equal force. “My opinion still stands you know. You can resolve this peacefully Markus.”
Markus sighs, and says “I’m sparing you. For now. You can stay and help, or leave and get killed by the humans. It’s your choice.”
Connor doesn’t grace him with a reply, and just stares at him, right in the eye.
Connor sits and thinks, head tilted to the right in thought and asks “Think you can do a demonstration until I can get reinforcements?”
“What?” Markus asks, blinking.
“I mean what I say. Don’t make it violent, and I’ll bring help. It’s not that bloody hard, you numpty” Connor replies, wondering where the word numpty is coming from.
“He kind of looks like a spooked chicken.” Daniel remarks, and Connor has to fight down the urge to start snickering.
(The curse of deviancy and having the ability to see ghosts. Trying to mask your emotions in serious conversations because every ghost in your general vicinity is making some kind of funny, sarcastic, snarky, or just fucking stupid comment about the situation.)
Markus is still staring, so Connor elaborates. “I’ll infiltrate Cyberlife tower. I’ll convert the androids there, and get out. It’s simple, and they still trust me, so I have all my bases covered for this mission. And under normal circumstances, I never fail my missions”
“Connor that’s…that’s suicide.” Markus finally remarks, staring at Connor like’s he’s grown a second head. “You can’t just do that.”
“Well…the numbers of this succeeding are pretty low.” Connor says, smiling ever so slightly, “but statistically, there’s always a chance for unlikely events to take place.”
Henry sighs and says, “Why are you like this?”
-LINE BREAK-
There is a small girl staring at Connor, and Connor feels very uncomfortable.
For one, the girl isn’t…you know…dead, so Connor can’t just ignore her, so he turns and crouches down and says “Hello. Can I help you?”
“My name’s Alice. Who are you?” the girl says, staring at him. Another android stands behind her, staring at him too. Connor really wants to leave now.
“My name is Connor. I’m…uh…” Connor begins, and then he trails off because he really can’t say the next part without several other androids giving him dirty looks.
“C’mon you coward.” Daniel jeers, cackling. “Say it.”
Connor shoots him a look, and turns back to Alice. “Just…my name is Connor. It’s nice to meet you.”
“You didn’t say it!”
Connor ignores Daniel, which causes Daniel to pout, and Ganymede to start giggling while Rupert just starts howling with laughter. Henry sighs again, and resigns himself to his fate. Might as well.
-LINE BREAK-
First, Connor goes and finds his Android Uniform, which he had stuffed into a box and hidden in a charity bin, and had found it several minutes later, after Daniel stuck his head into a bin and yelled “FOUND THE BOX.”
After putting the uniform on, and trying to train himself back into acting like a machine again, Connor calls a taxi, and tells it to take him to Cyberlife tower.
He really wishes he had his coin. A real shame that Hank took it from him, because it annoyed him.
-LINE BREAK-
He easily makes his way into the warehouse, subduing the guards. (He didn’t kill them, of course not, there are enough ghosts, thank you very much.)
He walks to an android he picked at random, letting his synthetic skin fall away to reveal the while mechanical arm underneath, and when he’s about the start the conversion…
“Connor! Dad got kidnapped and he’s here now!”
Connor turns, to see Cole Anderson, despite several ghosts and Connor himself telling him to stay at home. “What? Cole, what are you even doing here you were meant to stay at home!” Connor asks, brow furrowed.
“Easy, you fucking piece of shit…”
Then Hank stumbles out, followed by…him? Holding a gun to Hank’s head and staring directly at Connor.
“I’m seeing double.” Daniel says, looking between the two of them. “Think he sees us?”
Rupert squints his eyes and says “I don’t know. Why don’t you go annoy him and find out?”
“I will not, how dare you say such a thing?”
“Fight me Daniel, you can’t even swear, fucker.”
“I raise children birdbrain. I’m not even allowed to swear.”
“Not now, please” Henry says, almost begging at this point. “There are more pressing matters this time so please.”
“Step away Connor.” RK800 says, looking aloof. “And I’ll spare this human’s life.”
Connor stares at him and says “Sorry Hank, I shouldn’t have gotten you caught up in this mess.”
Hank huffs, looking oddly calm for a man with a gun at his head. “Well, you win some and you lose some. And the bastard is your spitting image. Threatened to shoot Sumo when he realised I didn’t give two shits about my own life.”
Cole helpfully goes “He can’t see us! I tried earlier, I yelled ‘CONNOR!’ and he didn’t even react! You always react when I yell your name Connor!.”
Daniel, who was now repeatedly sticking his arm in and out of RK800’s torso, nods in agreement. “Can confirm, he can’t see us.”
Ganymede, looking amused, goes “Well, at least that’s one way to tell you two apart.”
Connor looks at her, and goes, “Oh. I suppose so.”
Connor then steps away from the android, letting go of their arm, and with his arms up in surrender as he says “Alright, I’m sorry, won’t happen again.”
RK800 swings his arm around to point the gun at him, and that’s when Hank tackles him.
Connor tackles him too, and the two androids have a scuffle on the floor, both matching blow for blow, until Hank calls out “Freeze!”
Both androids freeze, stand up, and face Hank, who now has the gun and is aiming at the two of them.
Connor immediately curses the fact that the serial numbers on their jackets are printed very small, almost unreadable unless you are really invading his personal space.
Absolutely disgusting. A horrible design choice really. Should have been done in a bigger, more readable font.
“One of you is my partner.” Hank says, “And the other is a sack of shit. The question is, whose who.”
“Ask us a question only the real Connor would know.” Connor says, as he looks at the ghosts in the room.
Hank looks like he’s thinking hard, and then he asks “Where did we first meet?”
Connor looks at him with a very scathing look as RK800 answers with “Jimmy’s Bar. We were assigned a homicide case. The victim was Carlos Ortiz.” , and Connor says “He’s uploaded whatever I’ve uploaded from my memory files. He knows what I know.”
Hank gives him an unimpressed look, and says “What was your answer when I asked you if you were afraid to die?”
RK800 falters, and says “Wait when did that happen?”
Connor knows the answer. “My answer was ‘Maybe. I’m not even sure I would even get be a ghost myself.’”
“Wait what do ghosts have to do-” RK800 begins, before a disk flies out of the gun and attaches itself to RK800’s forehead, electrocuting him.
Huh. Turns out the gun was a taser…thing. Who knew.
Daniel sneers and says “Fake-Buddy, you have no idea what ghosts have to do with it.”
Connor blinks, says “That wasn’t a real gun?”
Hank peers at the taser-gun-thing in his hands as says “Yeah, not a gun.”
Connor stares for a minute and says “I’m going to go…do the thing now.” While gesturing to his arm and the androids.
“Uh…yeah you go do that partner.” Hank replies.
Connor chuckles, grabs the android’s arm and shouts “Wake up!”
“You should have slapped them.” Rupert says, staring over his shoulder. “Would’ve been funnier.”
Connor ignores him as the warehouse is filled with voices, all saying “Wake up!”
-LINE BREAK-
“So, do we just get them out or?”
“Hank, you can’t possibly think this is the only floor.”
“I’m not even surprised at this point. Hey, why does this tower have so many floors dedicated to marketing anyway?”
“I…have no idea.”
-LINE BREAK-
Connor marches out of Cyberlife Tower with thousands of freshly deviated androids behind him and yells “Markus, I hope you’re doing a bloody demonstration, or I am going to stab you!”
Markus, who was cornered with several other androids by several soldiers with very big guns, turns to look at him. “What.”
Connor grins and says “I told you I was bringing reinforcements, you asshole.”
Markus keeps staring at him and says “What.”
Daniel keeps cackling in the background, his laughter unheard by everyone except Connor and the dead, while Henry waves at Caliban, who waves back.
-LINE BREAK-
So, the US army is pretty conflicted about the whole deviancy issue.
On one hand, Markus is the android who has caused a lot of damage to both government and Cyberlife assets, but that was to liberate the rights of his people, so could anyone really blame them if their first instinct was to shoot him? Afterall, he did all of these things rather…violently.
On the other hand, Special Agent Perkins really needs to get this grudge that started three days ago under control, because he looks like he’s about to burst a vein, while radiating a wave of irritation, that sweeps though the humans like a really shitty fan in summer when your air conditioner is broken, but the androids are either immune, oblivious or unaware to Perkins’s waves of irritation, who was now beginning to turn a bright, splotchy purple, almost like Violet Beauregarde, except without him swelling up like a balloon.
And then, there is the android who led a bunch of other androids to the battlefield, who is standing on top of a burning car, yelling at Markus, saying things like “See, they’re fucking listening, so go make a speech, you asshole.”
Markus is yelling back, mostly “I will Connor, so shut up and get off the car, and I’ll negotiate!”
Oscar Wilde Smith (because his parents hated him enough, but jokes on them because he’s actually pansexual so suck that Mother), who is one of the soldiers cornering Markus and his android friends, has lowered his gun in sheer confusion. The others are copying his actions, staring at the two androids.
Markus’s friends are sporting the same looks of confusion. One of them is looking at the soldiers with a “I don’t know what’s happening but I’d like it to stop.”
Is this what it feels like to be ignored…?
-LINE BREAK-
In the end, the attack is cancelled and the androids are let out of the recycling centres, and Connor, because he technically played a very big role in the rebellion, gets to stand on stage with the other people who also played big roles in the rebellion.
(Connor tries to decline it, but the PL600 named Simon and a PJ500 named Josh keep insisting that he stand up on stage with them, to the point where Connor just accepts to shut the two of them up.)
(Connor only denies it because all he really did that was mildly interesting throughout the entire ordeal was somehow getting several floors of converted androids out without the guards noticing anything.)
(You’d be surprised how easy it is to sneak past guards that have been tasered, courtesy of a trigger happy Hank and his…taser-gun-thing that they liberated off the unconscious RK800, who was at the time being dragged between two androids, neither of them very apologetic when he “accidently” had his head smacked into random objects.)
Then Connor gets hit by a feeling of vertigo, and his vision clouds with white.
-LINE BREAK-
So, Amanda is angry at him, judging by the severity of the snowstorm in the Zen Garden Software that he reports to, although he’s been kind of neglecting it’s existence in the past months.
However, Connor is going to lodge a formal complaint with Cyberlife about having a two-faced, homicidal bitch locked in his head.
(Who is actively trying to use him to kill Markus. Planned to deviate his ass.)
So he stumbles around, trying to find Kamski’s emergency exit, finds the thing, smacks his hand against it, and wakes up to see the taser-gun-thing in his hands, and four ghosts trying to weigh his arm down. Connor tucks the stupid thing away, setting a note to get rid of the thing by prying out it’s batteries and chucking it into the river.
What’s with the RK800 series and not being able to grab an actual gun these days? Why are they all tasers?
-LINE BREAK-
So, Deviants are alive. They have ghosts, like humans, and Connor can see them.
It’s a little…strange, and unnerving, but Connor lives with it, and he likes it. He just doesn’t know why he’s the only model in his series to be able to do this.
He chalks it up to some strange obscure code that he can’t find.
Oh well. It’s not like he’s complaining.
-LINE BREAK-
He knows he should be meeting up with Hank, but instead, he’s at the park where Connor revealed his secrets, with the taser-gun-thing in his hands.
He breaks open the casing, removes the batteries and throws them into a bin, before throwing the thing into the river, watching it as it slowly bobs down the stream.
Connor…is not entirely sure if Cyberlife made it or not, but whatever.
He’s done with the company anyway. He’s still going to file his complaint about Amanda though, she’s a absolute nightmare, even if she is gone.
-LINE BREAK-
He meets Hank in front of a closed Chicken Feed, and they smile at each other before embracing each other, while Hank mutters “You did good. I’m proud of you son.”
Connor hugs a little tighter and says “Mm. Thanks Hank, for believing in me.”
Hank laughs a bit, and says “Let’s go home Connor.”
Connor laughs, and nods, following Hank to his car, flanked by ghosts. Cole’s chattering happily to Rupert about different bird species, while Ganymede chips in her own thoughts every once in a while. Henry listens as well, but he’s mostly looking around the area, smiling to himself.
Daniel, the first ghost he’s ever met, walks beside him and says “So, it’s over now, huh?”
Connor shakes his head. “I have a feeling this is only the beginning, you know?”
The snow had piled up that day, but sooner or later, it’ll melt away, and it’ll leave room for something else.
Or, something like that, anyway.
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