#so obviously im not gonna tell him i fuckin smoke lol

[pedroassmanpascal]

i miss my primary psychiatrist :(

#my temporary is fine #but hes the guy i saw when i was like 5-10 #its so awkward talking to him about my depression and anxiety symptoms #and i don't rlly like him all too much #he was awesome when i was a kid but obvi that was like 10+ yrs ago #hes aged and hes not a energetic fun dude #and im also not a child so hes not going to put on that facade #and i don't expect him to either #and hes also one of those 'weed is gonna make u worse and ur gonna be Mega Sad' #so obviously im not gonna tell him i fuckin smoke lol #i mentioned how my skin picking has gotten worse #it used to be just chewing on the inside of my cheek or picking a hang nail/my nails #but i picked off all the skin until the first knuckle on one of my fingers #he was like 'yea youre gonna wanna stop doing that and just take some deep breathes instead' #and like when he elaborated it made sense #bout replacing the endorphin hit i get skin picking by triggering some nerve in my ribcage by doing the deep breathing #but like #my guy #i didn't realize i was doing it until it started throbbing and bleeding half the time #hes a nice guy and a good dr but idk hes just not for me #my primary is out on medical leave and i miss her very much #i hope she's well and comes back soon :( #gab babs #txt post

[pwnyta]

Genshin Impact character opinions (alphabetical)-

0/10 Albedo is my least favorite design... He looks so fuckin goofy and from what I know about his character the fact he looks so goofy is not great.... The shorts look so dumb and the blue of his shirt looks weird...

Just wanted to visualize my issues with his goofy outfit... wont be ‘fixing’ anyone elses.

10/10 So fucking cute. The colors are beautiful and well spread through the design, Zettai ryōiki. bunny theme...terrific. Ambers just perfect. Look at that fucking adorable face as well... look at her big ol smile and tell me she aint a 10/10. She’d get a 10 if all I ever saw was that big ol smile.

9/10 Barbara is adorable. Her costume is gorgeous. I love the white with blue and the gold accents. Very pretty my only gripe is the lighter blue on her bow...

10/10 Beidou is just gorgeous.... I love that shade of pinkish-red with the off-black and purple with the gold trim. Shes just so hot... also her English voice is also top tier which is irrelevant to my ranking... maybe but--

1/10 Bennetts not as bad as Albedo but god hes annoying to look at... and listen to....  he looks like hes a Kingdom Hearts knock off, the colors are weird, and he has the personality of s1 Ash Ketchum.... Im sure hes a swell lad... but

6/10 Chongyun I mean I love the color pallet and over all its fine. I think the onesie with the cropped jacket and the weird half robe is weird but it looks fine if I dont think about too much.

7/10 Diluc is pretty but not as fun to look at as some others. I do really like those red palm gloves. My biggest gripe is his shirt.... with the belt? WHAT? Sir do you know what a belt is for.....

8/10 Diona... so cute. I kinda just wish her hair wasnt pink. I dont like the pink in her design at all but other than that... super cute. I just noticed her gloves had little peets on them.... THATS SO CUTE.

4/10 Fischls color pallet (other than her hair) is gorgeous but other than that... hate the overall design... Im not opposed to sexiness... but come on....

7/10 Ganyu is very cute but idk whats going on with her outfit at all.... its a very confusing piece.... but I dont hate it...

7/10 Whoops forgot the new girl... Her designs cute... but it is a bit dampened by the fact I think about toilet boy Hanako.... but other than that very cute!

9/10 Jeans a hottie. Love her tight pants... is it too much to ask for more hot girls in tight pants? IS THAT SO WRONG?! I dont really like the weird open top bit or the red bits but I dont hate it either.

10/10 Kaeyas design is one of my favs. His color pallet is gorgeous, the design is cool, tasteful tiddie window... its great. Good for him. I’ll even excuse the spiked fingerless gloves which no other character could possibly pull off.

10/10 Keqing is gorgeous too. Again with the beautiful colors, a really charming outfit design combined with those little cat-ear buns. I do often see up her skirt when flying and climbing however and it makes me feel like a bad person LMAO IM SORRY KEQING!! I DONT MEAN IT. She seems like the type thatd be really embarrassed about it!!

10/10 Klee is so fucking cute. I kinda wish her eyes were green like her charm but the red is good too. That red and white with the warm brown is really nice, and you cant go wrong with a poofy hat! Shes so cute.

10/10 Lisa was designed to be a smoke show but she pulls it off better than Fischl. Love the roses throughout her design, the color pallet is on point, her hair matching the dull gold of the accents is really nice, a peak of Zettai ryōiki and her green eyes just POP. Shes beautiful.... I love her.

3/10 My issue with Mona is mostly her bottom half... I get that her tights design looks cool but with the rest of her vibe having her main clothing piece be like... a bathing suit? ITS A CHOICE and it ruins her design for me. Also I hate the baubles on the ends of her hair.... but her color pallet is real nice. I also like her bigger eyebrows...

10/10 Ningguang... also a total smokin hottie. Her colors are beautiful and really feel RICH. That brassy color and gold on white with the ginkgo designs... the bitch is just poppin. She looks fantastic.

8/10 Noelle is so cute... I like when I add her to my party and she gets all excited and eager to help... very cute. Her design is an endearing mix of badass knight and dutiful maid.... my only issue is her skirt.... looks kinda weird. Wish she had some petticoats to fill it out more. Also dont like that her roses pop out the way they do... reminds me of Shreks ears....

10/10 Qiqi is adorable I love Jiangshi, love the colors, wish she wasnt wearin horni thigh highs(I only ever see thigh highs squeeze thighs like that in l00d art dont come for me... I didnt design her.) but lolis gonna lol. But again her design is top tier. Shes so cute.

5/10 Razor... is kind of a mess but its largely the colors.... its a lot of weird colors. Also his design makes me think of the male MC... I literally thought he was like an AU version of the MC....

10/10 Sucrose is so cute. Again that white blue and gold look great... I like her frilly shorts and thigh highs.... her boots are cute... her hair color is a little weird but I dont dislike it. Kinda wish her eyes were a different color tho.

4/10 Childe is fine... but after seeing all the other Fatui designs and his own monster form I look at him like this and go.... REALLY? Thats what were goin with... alright... Also his whole design screams ‘fire’ to me not just colors either the shape of his mask and the pattern on his scarf thing.... its weird that hes Hydro.

10/10 I love the female MCs design... I chose the male MC because his colors popped more and im a dumb animal and was like ‘ooh shiny‘ but I think her design is a bit better over all...

9/10 Male MC is still good... its very cute. I like how she looks more suited to the Anemo and he looks more Geo... Thats pretty cool. I really like his colors... the browns/gold/white... its a striking look.

6/10 Ventis pretty cute... I dont get the weird... corset thing hes wearing, dont like his shoes,,, but other than that its pretty cute but nothing special imo.

10/10 Xiangling is so fucking cute. everything in her design makes me clutch my heart at how endearing she is. Love her. Weird color palette... its even weirder that it fully works.

7/10 Look I love Xiao hes a good lad so I cant be too harsh... but all the colors on his design look a bit weird which really brings his over all design down... which I think is cool over all.

9/10 Really cute design for Xingqiu! The colors are beautiful... I love blue and white and gold obviously and he even does it with more of an emphasis on the blue and its a greenish blue and it looks great. the top is just gorgeous, those frilly sleeves are super cute... not a huge fan of the shorts but I hear theyre comfy and easy to wear.

10/10 Xinyan just looks terrific. Cool and punky, great fiery color pallet, cool theme, cheeky personality without it being obnoxious....  Shes great! Weird voice tho... lmao

11/10 You cant tell me what to do! Zhongli is the only male smoke show in the playable cast for that he gets an 11 ok? I love a dumb old man. I do think the coat over his longer coat is a bit weird but I aint mad at it. Love the colors, very earthy, the subtle gold design on his pant legs are cool and really hes got a lot of cool bits on his coat, his face/hair are lovely. Hes a total babe.

A SUGABABE

#GI tag.

[freeshavacado]

My thoughts while reading Gone by Michael Grant:

* wait how old is Sam

* He do be liking Astrid doe

* Damn so Sam is a Leader

* Ew Orc is an 8th grader? 🤮

* Ok I googled it Sam is 14

* I like Quinn

* Sam thinks he’s so awkward but he’s actually really chill so far

* THE PAIN THIS GIRL IS GOING THROUGH OH MY GOD

* Poor Mary :(

* Howard’s a bitch

* Cut to Quinn being a racist motherfucker

* I love Edilio

* Sam is WHIPPED for Astrid

* Orc is such a piece of shiiiiiit

* LANAAAAA :(((

* Poor thing is in so much pain

* Patrick her dog is alive so that’s good

* She’s deadass slowly dying

* Thank god her arm is better

* I want to make this into a TV series

* If Sam and Astrid don’t kiss at some point I swear

* Hahahaha Sam do be shirtless rn

* Why isn’t Astrid happy to see Little Pete???

* MARY. IF YOU POUR HOT ASS COFFEE ON A CHILD, DONT JUST STAND THERE AND THEN RUN AWAY. PUT COLD WATER ON THE BURN

* Aw Mary has had bulimia since she was ten :(

* Ok so what she just took her Prozac and then threw up? Wouldn’t the pill go up too? I think your stomach/body needs like 30 minutes to absorb it into the blood stream...

* HELP SAM HES CHOKING

* Bruh my ass would be so exhausted

* Quinn low key an ass tho

* Lol edilio isn’t standing for this bullshit

* Lmaooo Astrid knew 💀

* Omg little Pete has it too

* Wow Quinn is an asshole pt 2

* I feel like Caine is gonna be a villain...like he’s pretty AND nice? Nah bro too good to be true

* Fucking Orc god 😒😒😒

* Caine is up to some shit 🤨

* Lmao hold up

* Diana probably whipped tho

* Sam please only be a simp for Astrid 😩

* I bet Drake is hot

* Aww computer Jack :) DONT YOU TURN ON ME SON

* “The captain is already maintaining” Bullshit 💀

* Are they really gonna call this eighth grader ‘Captain’?

* LMAOOO THE BASTARD CANT EVEN READ OR WRITE 💀💀💀

* Lol making Sam the fire chief because he was brave enough to go into a fire one time, so therefore he is the most qualified

* Bruh that’s like if I gave a kid the Heimlich maneuver bc he was choking on a gummy worm or some shit and they were like “Well because she did that, she should be the head doctor!!!”

* CAINE IS FULL OF SUCH BULLSHIT OML

* PRETENDING TO CRY N SHIT GOD

* I already know that Diana is gonna try and seduce Sam while she’s actually a spy for the private school kids

* Which, btw, of course it’s the private school kids smh

* I feel like maybe Computer Jack will be someone who eventually switches to the Good Side

* ALSO wow jack really be thinking that he’s smarter than Astrid smh 🙄

* Jack is such a smartsass

* Diana is such a fucking bitch oh my god 😒😒😒

* “You don’t look tough, Astrid” STFU SHES THE TOUGHEST OF THEM ALL

* Ok but I bet Diana and Astrid low key have sexual tension. Like obviously nothing’s gonna happen...but still

* Bruh I hate Caine

* Fuckin Diana with her ‘readings’ bullshit smh

* YESSSS LANA 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 so strong

* Literally how do they not know how to make pasta

* “I thought your people ate tortillas,” QUINN YOU RACIST PEICE OF SHIT UGH

* Poor Bette :(

* Orc is a piece of shit, I know we’ve already established this but I wanted to say it again

* I love Edilio so much

* Orc really using a slur against Edilio huh. Imma kill him

* IM SO DONE WITH QUINN. THIS BITCH REALLY JUST SAID “let him have her” LIKE TF????

* Drake is such a bastard oh my god

* If you hate Quinn and you know it clap your hands 👏🏻👏🏻

* No seriously. I fucking hate him.

* Nooooo Bette died :((

* “I can’t kiss you with your little brother watching” AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

* Did they kiss or not wtf

* What the hell is up with this cat

* Ah so they did kiss!!

* Why didn’t I get details 🤨

* No a baby died 😞

* Quinn s u c k s

* How convenient that Sam got there *right* before Emma disappeared

* Those last 6 minutes before Anna disappeared too and was calling out to her sister, and so for what she thought was her last few minutes on earth she held sams hand :(

* Lol Diana sucks

* ‘WoRDs DONT sCArE mE’ shut up Drake

* Okay Computer Jack is definitely going to betray them because they underestimate him and take him for granted

* You’re telling me Caine and Sam could be TWINS???

* Why was the kiss ‘a mistake’ ?

* Okay NOW they’re awkward

* “But it was the first time I meant it” I CANT. ITS SO CHEESY

* I HATE QUINN

* These kids are crazy violent

* Fuck Diana

* Yikes now Sam only has some of his eyebrows left 😬

* Caine is in love with Diana 👀

* Little Pete might be more powerful than Caine 😛

* THESE KIDS ARE CRAZY LIKE CHILL

* Diana: I really dislike you Astrid: of course you dislike me, I make you feel inferior

* ROASTED ^

* Mmmm Quinn is trying to redeem himself

* “Don’t call me brah. I’m not your brother” OHHHHHHHHHHH HE REALLY WENT THERE

* that’s what you get for being a backstabbing asshole

* Poor Astrid :(

* Poor Little Pete :(

* Bro I need this to be a movie

* I love that Sam just punched Quinn like we had no choice but to stan

* Ok drake would definitely shoot up a school

* Fuck Drake

* Lana is so strong. Like she’s been in so much pain physically and mentally, and she almost died. But she saved herself and now even though she thinks she might be the only person left alive on earth, she is still keeping strong.

* What happens if the boat runs out of gas?

* Bruh these coyotes don’t give up

* THE COYOTES AGAIN??

* “Go out” “You’ll kill me,” “Yes. Go out, die fast. Stay, die slow”

* Wowwwwwwwwwww^

* Lmaooo “L.P.”

* Awwww Sam: “...she was still so beautiful that sometimes he had to look away.”

* Okay he a lil’ horny

* Awe Astrid and Sam hugging I’m soft 🥺

* I’m so sick of these damn coyotes

* Bruh these coyotes 😒

* Diana is annoying

* Literally can’t remember who Andrew is, but they’re about to film his passing away like wtf

* Poor Andrew :(

* “You’re a deep sleeper, Jack. Just now, while you were sleeping? I held your pudgy little hand. Probably as close as you’ll ever get to holding hands with a girl. Assuming you even like girls.” FUCK YOU DIANA

* Okay so Diana will protect Jack as long as he ‘belongs’ to her and does what ever she wants? That’s pretty sus

* Sam and Astrid kissed again 😖☺️

* Lmaooo Albert over here running McDonald’s

* Salads disappeared quickly from the McDonald’s menu since this whole thing? Who the hell orders a salad from McDonald’s?

* So Albert kinda whipped for Mary 👀

* I haaaaatttteeee the private school kids

* Y’know what depending on where I was and who I was with in this situation, I might’ve just killed myself

* “Remember who owns you” ew 🤨

* Diana. I hate you

* Bro I feel bad for Andrew

* How is Lana back at the cabin?

* That IS Lana right??

* Okay things are moving fast between Sam and Astrid. Like she’s already saying “I just want you here with me. Safe” like 🤢

* Lana, about Sam: your boyfriend? Astrid: ThAts nOt WhAt iTs AbouT

* LMAOO AFTER SHE SAID THAT SHE SAID IN A LOW VOICE “kind of” WHAT

* Lol Lana be out here like “yeah shits crazy. Get with the program”

* Ew they’re eating pudding with their hands 🤮

* I don’t care how hungry you are, that’s gross

* Like get a spoon or something

* Lana just called Astrid “smart girl Barbie” 🤨

* Part of me is like “lol” but the other part of me is like “bruh stop Astrid did nothing wrong”

* I still hate Quinn but he is kind of funny

* Lana calling Astrid “the blonde” like girl 😑

* Bruh you’re stuck in a house that is literally on fire and getting hotter by the second as it fills with smoke, now is not the time to be kissing Astrid

* Finally the damn coyotes are gone.

* Sam is so angry and he’s disgusted with himself for being so angry, I relate

* Fuck you, Quinn

* Fuck drake

* I would gladly kill Drake

* OOOOOOOOO EDILIO LIKES LANA AHHHHHH

* SIMP

* omg I love it 😩

* Lmaooooo Sams speech wow

* Sam you should NOT forgive Quinn. Especially not that fast. Yikes.

* Orc should feel bad for killing Bette. I have no pity for him rn

* Yes please kill drake.

* I am so happy that his arm is on fire. 100% he deserves to feel that pain

* Aww that’s kinda nice that Albert is planning thanksgiving dinner for everyone

* DAMMIT DRAKE

* I hate drake so much like dude just shut up and leave everyone alone

* Orc oh my god I could not be rolling my eyes harder right now

* Tbh if Orc and his other friends die, I’m okay with that

* What tf is up with this DVD

* Little Pete caused all of this??? 😦

* I’m sooooo sick of this whole darkness and coyote stuff istg

* Where is Patrick?????

* If Patrick is dead imma throw hands

* Diana is such an evil person. Like Drake is a monster, but she’s horrible in a different way.

* Also ughhhhhhhhhh Drake is back 😒😒😒😒😒 so sick of that mf

* “So. When do we go take down Sam Temple?” 🙄🙄🙄 no one likes you Drake

* AHAHAHHSJAHSHSHHSHD

* SAM JUST TOLD ASTRID HE LOVED HER

* AND SHE SAID IT BACK

* IM. S O F T

* (like my brain is still saying “y’all have talked for less than two weeks and you’re 14”)

* But like whatever 😭❤️

* My eyes just rolled into the back of my skull once Diana appeared

* Taylor low key flirting with Sam tho 👀

* When I first met Dekka, I was all: ‘what the hecka?’

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* I’m crying because Quinn couldn’t kill Drake because he was scared, and now children are screaming. Ugh I really wanted him to kill Drake but I understand that killing someone is a crazy thing to have on your conscience

* Call me cold hearted, but I would’ve shot him

* This is all in theory of course ^ I bet if I was in that situation though it wouldn’t be as easy as “just shoot him”

* I don’t think I’ve ever been more annoyed with a fictional character than I am with Drake rn

* Yooo I bet Isabella has some animal powers or sumn

* Caine 🙄🙄🙄 like that emoji doesn’t even come close to describing how annoyed I am

* Wait so is Patrick back now or...?

* Caine really just. Kissed Diana. Because she “owed him”????

* THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT

* I literally hate sooooooooo many characters in this book ugh 😒😒😒

* Quinn is watching Drake kill Sam and is doing nothing. I’m so done with this piece of shit

* Ok finally he tried to shoot him

* “You know it always gets me hot when you say ‘apt analogy.’” “Why do you think I do it?”

* Y’all 🥴🥴🥴

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* Literally? Imagine being this heartless. Giving up hundreds of kids to coyotes without hesitation. The hate I have for Caine is real

* Once again, Orc feeling bad for what he did to Bette. And honestly? I’m still okay with that

* This kid is an a l c o h o l i c

* Computer Jack is so annoying like dude stop holding on to Sams leg. Literally

* Still hate Diana, but I like that she’s helping out Sam a little bit

* Ew Diana just kissed Sam on the corner of his mouth 🤢

* I TOLD YALL ^^^

* Yay Patrick is alive :)

* “I guess we won,” Sam said. “Yeah,” Edilio agreed. “I’ll get the backhoe. Got a lot of holes to dig.”

* ^im. Depressed

* I cannot for the life of me remember who Cookie is

* “Orc sat with Howard in a corner by themselves. Orc had fought Drake to a standstill. But no one-least of all Orc-had forgotten Bette.”

* ^good.

* Y’all Sam and Astrid flirting I- 🥴🥴

* We love to see it ^

* Awww “we’re going to the beach” y’all Astrid and Sam are so cute

* THOSE DAMN COYOTES

* FUCK. Goddamn this cliffhanger 😡

#gonebook #funny #gonebymichealgrant #goneseries #readingfunny #readingmemes #gonefunny #samtemple #astrid #caine #littlepete #thefayze #gonememes #drake #book #bookfunny #bookmemes #bookmeme #mine #funnymemes #reading #read #gone #gone2008

[chokefriends]

Pit-town Strays Ch.1

Kidlaw softness and redneck shenanigans in a northern mining town. Everything's fucked but whatever.

Rated T, no warnings, or just general warnings for setting-specific social ills and violence (racist cops, shitty parents, etc). Someone ordered wholesome kidlaw family feels? well HERE.

[Ch. 1] - Ch. 2 - Ch. 3 - Ch. 4 - Ch. 5

Read on Ao3 too, I’m Ossicle

“What the hell are you going to Pit-town for?” Bellamy chewed at Law with his mouth open, a smarmy sneer on his pasty face.

“None of your business.” Law scowled, turning his eyes away from his brother’s ground-up breakfast. He shoved a random pile of coursework into his backpack.

“Well I know what kids like you go up there to do. Everybody knows.” Bellamy drawled on, like he knew shit about anything besides scamming beer and shooting bottles at the quarry.

“Don’t make assumptions, idiot. I’m just babysitting.”

“Why?”

“It’s called a job? You should try it,” Law suggested primly. “Feet.”

Bellamy lifted his feet off Law’s pile of textbooks. “Why, though? You got that big scholarship, I seen the letter when it came in.”

Law frowned at him. “How did you…”

“Well it was just there, so I read it. Why don’t you move out, if you got all that money? You hate it here so much.”

Law waved this matter aside. “I owe that money to someone. Give me the volvo keys.”

Bellamy didn’t move his stupid stumpy self from the ancient recliner—prized spot in the basement space the three brothers shared. “No, I need it, I’m meeting up with some guys later to go down to the quarry. Dad said I could.”

“Bellamy, I need it to get to town. Just gimme the keys.”

“Well I need it to pick up little ladies! You can hitch, right?”

Law didn’t bother arguing. He sighed through his nose and slid his feet into his severely ratty sneakers before heading out into the yard.

“Don't tell Dad where I am or I'll tell him about your girlfriend!” Law called on his way out.

“Obviously,” Bellamy muttered.

The ancient volvo wasn’t feeling cooperative today, or Law was having a lapse or something because he couldn’t fucking hotwire it. He slammed his fist on the dash and took out his phone. It was an oddly summery fall day—not too cold to walk or bike—but his shoes were getting thin in the soles, and Law didn't like asking his dad for little stuff like that. Didn't wanna be such a burden all the time.

He scrolled through his messages and sent a couple off to see about a ride. But Robin (who'd suggested the job) was teaching, and Baby (sweet, bitter Baby) was already in the sauce.

BB: i cn still come tho? you real stuck?? big bro awwwww im sry

You: Nono dont go driving if youre partying it up, Ill hitch a ride I guess

BB: Where?

You: Just into town

BB: Where in town??????

You: The Pit.

You: or whatever.

BB: LAWWW NOOOOOOOOooo jus kidding lol no judgement here

BB: id sell it on weekends too if i were pretty liek U

You: I’m not selling my ass!!!

BB: Lol

BB: sure

BB: why else ndn boi hangs w miner trash? Shady.

You: Lots of reasons, including a babysitting job. Don’t make assumptions.

BB: “babysitting”” “””job”””’

You: Yes.

BB: God ur sheltered

BB: shltered bebe in u nice rich house

BB: don get picked up there, pit-town piggies love ndn bebes

Law pocketed his phone with an eyeroll and started walking down toward the highway.

Once he’d found a ride and gotten dropped off, it was a twenty minute walk from the highway to the Pit. Law ended up climbing over the bare, rocky hill behind the truck stop, cuz his phone’s map had the place all wrong. On top of the hill, he could see the Pit in all its glory laid out before him.

Pit-town was the weird little enclave where the town’s mine workers were housed, in tar paper houses as outdated as the mine itself. The tangled machinery of the refinery loomed just beyond the houses, and above all that, the smokestacks. White smoke drifted from their peaks, as high above him as the clouds. Nothing except low bush berries grew around here—it was like an outpost on the moon.

Law went down into the village. Men with tattooed arms watched him from pickup trucks, and women smoking in lawn chairs whispered. Half-feral dogs barked and circled.

“Ya lost, hun?” one busty woman called from her front step as he passed, and her friends chuckled.

“No…” he mumbled back, and hurried on as they all laughed.

He was flustered and out of breath by the time he got to the address, on the other fucking side of the whole village. The house was like the rest: a single-storey bungalow on a small plot of land with a car port full of dead appliances. There was a little pink bike lying on the front step, and a short dog chain attached to a pole in the middle of the bare yard. A deep trail had been trod in a circle around the pole but there was no dog in sight. Law went up and knocked lightly.

He stood there for a few minutes, feeling the neighborhood eyes on his back, before trying again. He knocked a little louder. “Hey, um. Hello?”

A harsh voice called, “YEAH IT’S OPEN.”

Law tried the door. “No it’s not?” he called back.

“YEAH IT IS JUST KICK IT AND TURN THE THING AT THE SAME TIME.”

“...No, definitely not open,” Law assured him after trying every kick-turn combination.

“AH FUCK.”

“Yeah.”

“OKAY, CAN YOU JUST BREAK IN?”

“...What??” Law was almost offended.

“I’M DOING A THING, CAN’T GET THE DOOR RIGHT NOW, JUST TRY SOMETHING.”

Obviously Law could break into stuff, because his shitty little brothers thought it was hilarious to lock him out of the house all the time. And because their father thought it was prudent to keep things like Law’s ID in a secure location. Law didn’t think that skill set was a great way to start this ‘job’ thing, though… He looked around at the prying eyes across the street and they flitted back behind their blinds. He sighed.

The lock was just one of the doorknob ones, and the jamb didn’t have a guard on it so it was easy to get a credit card in there. The door swung open and Law stepped into a cluttered hallway.

“In here!” the big voice called from down the hall.

“I here!” a little voice added.

Law navigated his way carefully, stepping over baskets of laundry, unreturned empties, and sealed up moving boxes. Something obnoxious was playing on tinny speakers in another room. He rounded the corner into a sweltering little kitchen that seemed like the only clear spot in the house.

There was a very tall redhead with a face full of piercings sitting at the kitchen table in his boxers, and a much smaller redhead in a frilly blue bathing suit beside him. They were painting their toenails black, with their feet up on the table.

The bigger redhead seemed really shocked to see Law. He almost toppled backward on his chair. “H-hi! Uh! You’re Native.”

Law blinked. “Yeah. Um. You’re naked.”

“I’m Nami!” announced the little girl.

The guy was pretty much naked, by Law’s standards. Also kind of jacked… Law could feel his face heating up and was glad that it didn’t really show on him. The man sitting there in his boxers was pale as a fucking ghost, though, and so his sudden flush was super obvious. He rushed to recover from that intro.

“I don’t mean like, ‘oh, you’re Native.’ Well, obviously you are, heh, but I don’t mind or anything!"

“Yeah, uh.” Law nodded helpfully. “I don’t mind either, that you’re… naked.”

“Kidd is a naked...” Nami sang to herself.

“I'm not even,” Kidd protested. “I'm just hot as hell. Aren't you hot?”

“Am I??” Law was completely lost.

“Not—! I mean, yeah, but you're in a hoodie? Aren't you sweltering?” Kidd clarified.

“Oooh. No, not really. I like to keep covered up,” Law explained, picking at a fraying sleeve. He supposed it was weird to be wearing jeans and a hoodie in this weather, but no weirder than wearing Crocs in public, like people here seemed into doing.

Kidd was distracted by Nami painting patterns on her feet with the nail polish. “Fuck, Nami, stop, we just paint the nails. It’s messy, see? MESSY.” He took the tiny girl and sat her on the counter instead, then went about cleaning up the table. “Sorry about the door. Can’t go anywhere with wet toenails, it smears like hell.”

Law nodded harder and went to help him. “It’s cool, I know how to break into stuff. I mean I don’t usually! But your door was easy. Not that I’ll do it again!”

“Not a problem… uh, Kidd. I’m Kidd. Hi.” The guy finally got his head together and extended a hand. His fingernails were painted black too. He had a really firm grip.

“Law,” Law replied in relief.

“And this is my sister Nami,” Kidd jabbed a thumb at the toddler perched precariously on the counter. “She’s a fucking psychopath.”

Nami ignored them, sticking towels into the toaster instead.

“You have a dog too? I saw the chain outside.” Law wondered.

“No, Dad took the dog with him. And the fuckin car…”

“Your parents are both working?” Law asked, and immediately regretted it. God, he really was sheltered.

Kidd blushed again and started stacking dishes.

Law rushed to clarify. “Or, ‘parent'? I only got one too—a dad. I'm adopted though, and my birth parents are both passed, so.”

Kidd was wiping off each dish absently under the running water, not really cleaning anything. “We got a dad and mom, they’re just… not around right now. So it’s just us! Which is better, believe me.” He growled the last bit under his breath.

“Oh, got it.”

“Anyway. I didn't wanna ask someone to come all the way here to watch Nami, but that bitch down the street won’t take her anymore because of lice or property damage or something, and I got an interview today. I’ll prolly find another illegal daycare somewhere around here if I do get this job, though, heh.”

“Yeah don’t worry about it.” Law tried not to seem squeamish at the mention of lice.

“If they do take me I’ll be starting right away, so I might be out til pretty late,” Kidd warned him. “I’ll pay you for however long you’re here for though.”

“Sounds good. You gonna work at the mine?”

This seemed like another sensitive issue. Kidd looked away and muttered, “No… you gotta be 21, and take all these courses and stuff. And anyway, like HELL will I end up in the fuckin pit,” he finished with unexpected heat.

Law was saved from having to come up with a response by Nami blowing up the toaster outlet. The kitchen appliances all blinked out.

“FUCK! Again…” Kidd rushed to pick her up and sit her back on the table as a loud dryer beep sounded from the bathroom. “And fuck, there’s my pants. Listen, can you grab a fuse from the drawer there and stick it in? I actually REALLY gotta go, like right now.”

“Yeah of course!” Law watched the strange redhead duck through the kitchen door and pick his way down the obstacle course hall to another door.

He pulled his eyes away from the muscled back and onto the little girl, who was… eating nail polish.

“You!” Law scolded her, and put her in a chair. He grabbed the few towels that weren’t burnt, and tied her to the aluminum frame. “Okay, eat cheez-its while I fix this.”

Law had got the new fuse screwed into the panel and the nail polish off Nami’s face by the time Kidd came back, dressed in clothes that didn’t seem like interview clothes to Law: heavy duck pants and steel-toed boots. He grabbed a duffel bag that was sitting on a box stack, shouldered it and then stood looking at Law.

“Uh,” Kidd was blushing again. It was kind of amazing to see this tough blacklung brat acting so unsure. “If I come back really late maybe I could bring something? To eat? And we could eat it here?”

“Yeah, that'd be good.” Law shrugged like he didn't mind either way.

“KFC?” Kidd suggested.

“Oh I don't like breaded stuff. Fries are good, though.”

“Chinese?”

“I'm trying not to eat MSG actually…”

Kidd tried to think. “So what do you eat?”

“Mostly sushi.”

“I didn't know there was any sushi places in this shit town,” Kidd admitted.

“At the college there's one. Uh, but whatever you bring is fine, don't worry about it!” Law reassured him.

“Okay. Well, see ya.” Kidd made his way outside, yelling at some hovering dogs to git!, then started swearing. “Aw fuck, Nami's FUCKING bike…”

“You trip on it?” Law poked his head outside.

“No,” Kidd was looking at an empty front walk. “Fuckin kids took off with it again. I'll just go punch their dad in the throat later, not a big deal.”

“Holy,” Law commented mildly.

He watched Kidd pull a frankenstein-ian motorcycle out of a side door and roar away on it. Then he looked around to see if anyone had caught him looking. He was just sending a good glare at the prying eyes across the street when he remembered that he was babysitting. He returned to the kitchen where Nami was sitting once again on top of the table, drawing circles in a nail polish puddle with one finger.

“Your brother is an entire entrée,” Law informed her.

She didn't reply, intent on her craft. But she objected when he tried to pick her up. “Nooo!”

“No?” he put her down.

She glared at him, a tiny girl of no more than four, ginger hair in little pigtails and her frilly blue bathing suit spotted with nail polish.

“I'm Law,” he sat down so he was at her level, and introduced himself. “Lawww.”

“Law...” She appraised him solemnly for another moment and then seemed to deem him acceptable. “I’m being a witch,” she confided in a whisper.

“A witch?”

“Yah.”

Law sat back in the chair with a laugh. “My girl! Let's talk!”

Law had the kitchen scrubbed to his own exacting standards in short order, having secured Nami firmly to a chair (with duct tape and towels this time).

She was starting to nod into her cheezits by the time he'd finished, and Law figured it was nap time. He went to review the rooms along the hallway, looking for a baby room. He couldn't figure out the logic of the place, though. There was a largeish bedroom, which seemed to be the source of the stale smoke smell, mostly taken up by a tacky king bed and Seinfeld DVDs. It clearly hadn't been used in forever. He closed that door. Then there was a smaller room that might've once been a child's room, decorated with glow in the dark stars on the ceiling and complex Lego structures piled in one corner. It was stacked floor to ceiling with file boxes and covered in dust too. Another small room seemed to be Kidd's hideout, though the bed was just a box spring covered in laundry and books. There was a guitar and practice amp, and a desk piled with half-dissected old laptops. Law resisted the urge to snoop, and closed the door.

He went back down to the other end of the hall, past the front door, where the narrow corridor opened into a small living room space. A couch and a single mattress were neatly made up into beds, in front of a large TV that seemed like the only new thing in the house.

“I want a Kidd nap.” Nami had somehow gotten out of the duct tape high chair and was at Law's side, rubbing her eyes.

“Okay? In the big bed?”

“You're silly,” she accused. She went to lie down on the couch, pulling a fuzzy blanket over herself.

Law went to sit next to her. He gestured down at the mattress on the floor, with its orange and blue comforter and many fuzzy cushions. “Is that your bed? Don't you wanna nap there?”

“No,” she explained patiently, eyes already closed.

“Right, obviously.”

He watched her shuffle and sigh her way to sleep.

“I could've had a sister,” he murmured, partly to her and partly to himself. “I mean, I do have a biological sister, but I didn't grow up with her. I think it would've been nice, though…”

Nami was already asleep when he looked over again. Easy! Law totally had this babysitting thing in hand. He pulled his stats assignment out of his bag, and got down to the real work.

Nami turned out to be a pretty chill baby, as well as being an utter terror. She mostly ignored Law, preferring to go about her little play tasks uninterrupted, with the TV playing in the background. “Being a witch,” she explained whenever Law asked what she was doing.

“Keep it up,” he encouraged her, turning back to his own work.

He quickly learned, though, to keep an ear out for silence, because she was probably blowing shit up. Law found her building a fire in the oven, then making what he was pretty sure was mustard gas in the toilet.

“How’d you do that??” He took the bleach from her and she threw a mild fit before toddling off to the next game.

By the time Kidd returned, Law was just sitting in a kitchen chair with his stats assignment disregarded in front of him, watching the four-year-old expertly jimmy the makeshift lock he'd put on the knife drawer.

“More twist on the lever,” an amused Law recommended.

“So this one's being a psychopath huh,” Kidd entered and threw his duffel bag on the table.

Law corrected him.“Um, she's a witch and a prodigy? She made several deadly potions with cleaning supplies today."

“Oh jesus now there's two of you.”

“One more and we got a coven.”

“Great. Nami, it's like 11, why ain't your ass in bed?” Kidd growled at his sister, who ignored him.

“She went down for a couple hours, but kept getting up when she heard a car go by. And I couldn't get any pajamas on her,” Law reported.

“Yeah she won't take the bathing suit off unless I bribe her. She's big into being a ‘mermaid’ this month, on top of being a witch.”

Nami had gotten the knife drawer open and was feeling around in it with one chubby hand.

Kidd scooped her up. “No knives.”

“A knife!!!”

Law shook his head and smiled. Child after his own heart. “What's she want a knife for?”

“She's been trying to slash my tires lately, so probably that. It's usually pretty funny to watch, but yeah, not at bedtime. Eh, Nami?”

“I WAN A KNIFE! A KNIFE A KNIFE A—”

Nami stopped and stared at the chocolate coin Kidd was holding up. She grabbed it and wiggled out of his arms. They followed her to the living room where she was stashing her prize under the couch.

“Holy, she's got a hoard,” Law gave a low whistle at the cache of foil coins and random shiny things.

“Yeah I think she's more dragon than mermaid,” Kidd commented.

Nami lay down in her floor bed, where she could see the glittering pile.

“I got food, if you wanna…?” Kidd nodded back toward the kitchen.

“Is she good here?”

“Yeah she pretty much puts herself to sleep, just leave WrestleMania on for her. She likes the noise.”

They went back to the kitchen, and Kidd turned on a thing Law had thought was a smashed toaster oven reconstructed with safety pins, but which turned out to be a radio. Kidd gestured to a bag on the table, and Law unpacked it while the redhead fiddled with the receiver. It mostly seemed to be picking up country music and static.

“Can almost get that alt rock station with this thing,” he muttered, “probably just needs another coat hanger.”

“You went and got sushi??” Law pulled out several little plastic containers.

Kidd’s back was to him but Law could see his neck and ears going red. He kept fiddling with the dials. “Yeah, whatever.”

“From all the way at the college?”

“Yeah. Whatever.”

“...I think that radio is using you as an antenna,” Law observed, changing the topic.

Kidd snorted and let go of the screwdriver-dial, and the radio went to mostly static. “Faboo. Maybe it wants a piercing too.”

His face had returned to a normal color under all that metal, and he joined Law at the table. Law offered him the dragon roll and took the sashimi plate.

The chopsticks were an obstacle.

“Do you stab it?” Kidd glared at the sushi and the two little sticks.

“No, look at my hand: hold one like a pencil, and the other one loosely—”

“I stab it.”

“Don’t stab it, hey, you’ll ruin the integrity of the roll shape!”

“Hm,” Kidd chewed his mangled piece. “Tastes like salad.”

“Here.” Law scooted over a chair. He took the chopsticks out of Kidd’s fist and rearranged them. Kidd’s hands were large and rough to the touch, and the scent of sweat and gas clung to his clothes. The sudden impression of body heat and machinery smacked Law right in the back of the brain.

“I’m gonna say this is finger food,” Kidd decided.

“Yeah,” Law agreed automatically.

“Yeah, fuck this. Want a beer?”

Law hated beer. “Yeah. I mean, whatever.”

Law sat and nursed the beer with determination, trying to pay attention to Kidd's animated take on government surveillance vans and Nicolas Cage. His brain was getting fuzzy really fast, though. He was such a fuckin lightweight.

“He’s not an actual human person, is all I’m saying. You seen his face tryna do face stuff?” Kidd argued, crunching his second beer can and tossing it in the bin across the room. "Nother beer? Hey, you’re not even done that one.”

“Tastes like bread,” Law noted distractedly.

“I guess. You don’t like Bud?”

“I liked the first movie,” Law hiccuped.

Kidd laughed like a fucking hooligan, and Law had to laugh too. Normally loud laughs grated on Law's ears, but he decided he liked this one. It wasn't mocking or cold; just big.

Kidd shook his head with a final chuckle and wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. “Me too. Sooo uh, what you studying at the college?”

“General science right now, thinking I'll go into the pre-med stream,” Law answered right away. “Or maybe something more research, less clinical… uh. Or you know, like. Whatever.”

Kidd actually seemed interested. “Yeah that sounds awesome. I always wanted to go into engineering, but pure research would be cool… You um. Doing some math, there?” He looked over at Law's assignment, abandoned on the table.

“Stats. The bane of my existence. Don't stare at it too long, it'll put the bleed on your brain.”

“...you're stuck, huh?” Kidd glanced over again.

“No.” Law sniffed. “I'm considering it from many angles.”

“Okay, man.”

“Oh, like you know anything about sample sizes and shit.”

Kidd shrugged, but the line in his forehead deepened. He cracked another tallboy.

Law gripped his own beer can in the uncomfortable silence that followed, and then downed the rest all at once.

“Nother,” he wiped his mouth and Kidd raised an eyebrow but passed him a fresh one.

“Git it in ya.”

“Mhm.” Law took a deep swig and almost fucking barfed. “Sooo… you make that bike yourself huh?”

“...yeah,” Kidd's face lost the put-out look and split into a grin. “Or whatever, I just added some stuff and changed other stuff… actually, it's…”

That got another good long ramble out of the redhead, full of startling laughter and crass parallels with female body parts. Law wondered idly if Kidd was actually familiar with any female body parts, or whether this was just how people in Pit-town talked.

“Hm?” Law sat up straight, realizing that Kidd had asked him something. His brain was definitely all swimmy now.

“Or I can give you a lift back now. It's a long way to the Rez.”

“I'm not from the Rez, I live down the highway. I can just hitch my way back, it's not a big deal." Law looked at his phone—after midnight.

Kidd was giving Law a look, like he wanted to say something about that, but then grunted and downed his beer instead. “Here, for today,” he said, taking an envelope out of his pocket and pushing a few folded bills into Law's hand.

“Thanks.”

“If you're free tomorrow I'll be working again at noon. And like I said, you can stay here tonight if the trip out is—”

“Oh!” Law felt his face heating up again. “No, I gotta get home. My dad's gonna kill me as it is. I'll come back tomorrow, though, okay?”

“Okay! Or, whatever, good.”

“Yeah.” Law stood and started stuffing things back into his backpack. “Okay see ya tomorrow.”

Kidd gave him a flippant salute and cracked another beer.

Pulling on his sneakers at the door, Law felt a little tug at his pant leg.

“Law, you are going to go?” Nami worried.

“Yup, gotta go home.”

“Law, you won't be here if you go,” she started snuffling.

Law picked her up and put her back in her bed. “I'll come back tomorrow. Okay?”

“No.” She hid under the blanket and kept snuffling.

He hesitated. “I have to go.”

“She’ll get over it in a minute,” Kidd told him from the doorway, leaning backlit against the frame with crossed arms. “It's better not to draw it out.”

Law looked at the little lump among the cushions and shrugged. He stood to go.

The redhead chewed at his tongue piercing and watched him. “Okay, I don't wanna be weird about this, but like. It's the Pit. And you're... You know?”

Law wasn't getting it. “I'm...?”

“C'mon, you stick out. And it's really late, and it's just past check day, and… it'd really just be faster if I gave you a ride.”

Oh, fucking chivalry or whatever.

“So I'll put my hood up,” Law dismissed this.

“It’s the Pit, though,” Kidd said again.

“... See you tomorrow.” Law left without drawing it out any further.

Law got halfway through the village before someone pulled up next to him, apparently to offer him further unwanted courtesies.

“Looking for a place to stay?” the man offered.

“Just heading home,” Law deflected.

This didn't seem to be the answer the guy wanted, and he followed Law in his pickup at very close range, until they got to the village limits and the end of the street lights. Law gripped his phone in his pocket. He heard the truck door slam just as he went to detour off the road between two houses.

Law tried not to back away as the guy advanced. “I'll call the police.”

“I am the police,” the man pointed to the badge on his belt.

"Shit..."

"And you're trespassing."

Law held onto his phone, a harsh roaring steadily growing in his ears. The smart thing would be to play dumb and helpless so he wouldn't fucking get shot, and just hope someone came by… but the man went to grab him and he panicked just as the roar peaked. Law snapped the fist holding his phone into the man's temple, and it made a loud crunch. A couple more frantic strikes sent the pig down in a confused pile of limbs.

Well he'd fucking done it now. Maybe he could run before—

“Oohhh shit, haha,” someone commented.

Law glared over at Kidd, who was sitting there on his noisy rat bike, peering at the man on the ground.

“Hi?” Law crossed his arms.

Kidd scratched his neck. “Saw him drive past after you left, and figured… yeah. I was just gonna come and like, bam! Do a drive-by with a crowbar. But that Rocky shit was actually way cooler, haha. Is that a brass knuckles phone ring?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah…” Kidd considered the lump on the ground. “Kay, well. Can I drive you home now?”

“...” Law really, stubbornly wanted to refuse.

“Just so you can see how Marlene here rides,” Kidd patted the motorcycle. “Did I tell you I built her?”

Law's tension cracked and an incredulous laugh bubbled out. “Yeah. You told me. She's a beauty.” Kidd passed him the helmet and Law slid into place behind him.

“She’s a rubber-tit, chain-smoking old blacklung biddy, fuck yeah she's a beauty. You can ride her all day and night, she don't get tired.”

Law had been wondering how he'd get all the way home like this without popping a boner, but that mental image cleared it up.

“Uh,” Law gave the unconscious cop a guilty glance, “should we get this guy somewhere…?”

“Oh, I'll just call his wife to come get him, I guess,” Kidd snorted at the pathetic pile and took out his phone.

“You know him?”

“Everyone knows everyone here… hold on a sec. Hey, Mrs. Kyle? Yeah I just seen Kevin going off tryna fight that goose again.”

“Fuckin what??” Law snickered.

“Yeah, Cobb Road. Looked like he'd taken a good one on the head already. I dunno who taught that thing to make a fist. Yeah, anyway. Yeah, bye.” Kidd hung up, nodding to himself like that was it.

“No one's gonna believe that shit,” Law objected.

“Oh the goose? That's real, the thing's a monster. I think they should just shoot it but there's a pool on who'll defeat it in hand-to-hand combat.”

“...okay. Sure.”

“It's the Pit,” Kidd explained again.

Kidd tied a bandana onto his face as a windguard, and they pulled out of the village and onto the highway. It was fall but the air was warm and smelled like tar. Law held onto Kidd's waist and directed him by patting his arm and pointing. The smokestacks receded behind them, though the tar smell lingered on through the treeless landscape. Eventually Law signaled for them to stop.

Kidd pulled off the highway and stopped just under the lone streetlight at the turnoff. He looked around. “This is just a carpool lot. I might as well take you all the way home, right?”

“Nah, my Dad's already gonna be pissed that I'm out this late. If I ride up on a bike smelling like booze… yeah.” Law passed him the helmet and dismounted. “It's not far from here, I'm good now.”

Kidd was still processing the first part. “Aren't you in uni? You still have a curfew?”

Law shrugged. “He's strict. He just worries. Though, yeah, he's nowhere near as protective about my fuckin brothers so—”

At that exact moment Law's brain registered the whine of a familiar car, and he had to grip his bag to keep from bolting. He relaxed slightly when he saw it was just the Volvo.

“Hey Lawnboy,” Bellamy chuckled, leaning an elbow out the window.

“Hiii Law,” a gawky, sharp-eyed girl chirped from the passenger seat.

“Monet, my dream girl,” Law flirted mildly, leaning on the door frame. Monet giggled and Bellamy scowled.

“That your ~boyfriend~?” the blond troll mocked, jabbing a thumb at Kidd, who tensed and sneered.

“Yeah,” Law shot back.

There was a pause.

“Really???” Monet scrambled to get a good look at them both. Bellamy's face went slack with shock.

Kidd stuffed his head into the safety of his helmet.

“What're you doing?” Law questioned the helmeted Kidd.

“He's shy!” Monet squealed. “Ahhhh you guys are perfect!”

“Are you blushing?” Law tried to flip up the mirrored visor and Kidd held on stubbornly, shaking his head.

“Law, bring him to Hawk's place with us, I'll make youse guys’ drinks!! I got sourpuss and peach schnapps!”

“They're not coming to Hawk's,” Bellamy told her sullenly.

“Shut up Bellamy. Law, you guys coming?”

Law demurred. “Gotta work tomorrow, Monet-fique. Nother time.”

“Aw.”

“See you at home, Bellyache,” Law dismissed his pouting brother, who scowled.

“‘Babysitting’, huh. I'm telling Dad you're hoeing it up in the Pit,” Bellamy threatened.

Monet punched him in the shoulder. “Oh my god Bellamy no you're not. Later, Law! Byyye, strong silent boyfriend!”

Bellamy took his cue and screeched away.

Law turned back to Kidd, who was still hiding under his helmet. “Sorry. That was my brother. It just seemed like the best way to get him to leave.”

Kidd gave a slight shrug.

“So. See you tomorrow?” Law shouldered his bag.

Kidd nodded.

“Thanks for the ride. And for dinner and stuff…”

“Yeah it's whatever,” came Kidd's muffled voice.

“Oh yeah I mean, whatever.” Law started off down the road.

“Uh…! Thank you too, for… coming...” Kidd called after him a few steps later.

Law stopped and looked back awkwardly.

“...And for being chill about Nami's issues, and the house, and dealing with that creeping fucker… You don't have to come back after that crap. And if all this is gonna get you in trouble with your dad anyway,” Kidd offered in a nervous jumble, as Law wandered back over and stood there, feeling suddenly sad.

Law had had his share of sweet goodbye kisses under this streetlight, when he'd been a little younger and a little less worried about everything. He kinda really wanted another like that right now… But Kidd was holding onto the helmet on his head like a life preserver. And a kiss seemed like such a shallow, wrong-headed kind of assurance to offer against all ‘that crap.’

Law leaned in, and bonked his forehead lightly against the glossy helmet instead.

“Well, pick me up tomorrow, at the highway. So I don't gotta risk crossing the goose,” Law shrugged too, like it really was all just whatever.

He couldn't see Kidd's face but he could see his heaviness lift.

“You got it, Cap.”

The scruffy redhead leaned into his bike and the road, and became a fading engine roar in the dark. Law walked home slowly.

#kidlaw #KidLaw fic #eustass kid #trafalgar law #one piece modern au #Kid is a blusher #Law is an airhead #blue collar love #pit-town strays

[regular-lord-reckoner]

i stg some of my family are so fucking worthless it isn’t even funny 

like...jesus christ, man, can piece of shit cousin just fuck off forever until the end of time already??? 

so my dad made some vague post on facebook the other day about how he doesn’t appreciate other people’s bill collectors calling him and how shitty he thinks that is 

he didn’t name names 

like the way he worded it, you wouldn’t even be able to tell who it was about, it was basically just a “wow, this keeps happening and it’s really pissing me off, next time it happens i’ll escort them to your door” kind of deal but again like...nothing in his original post would have suggested who it was 

he’s got plenty of worthless relatives, it could have easily been about any of them 

but piece of shit cousin (likely feeling guilty as she should) takes it to be about her (and it was) and unfriends him so it’s like lol ok 

he made some other post about being unfriended but again, didn’t say who, didn’t really go into details, just kind of a “good riddance!” type of thing and whatever whatever 

but she then makes her own post (which you can still see even if you’re not friends with her, i should know, lol) about how people need to stop talking shit about her and they just don’t understand and blah blah this, i’m such a victim that, but her post actually directly quotes one of his so...yeah, if someone were looking at hers and his they’d be able to put the two together finally  

plus she said some nasty shit in there about how he should go smoke his life away or some bullshit and so...yeah. 

and so like...y’know, like a human being who’s eaten his acre of shit, my dad directly name calls her the fuck out tonight and in comes piece of shit cousin’s shit for brains brother to defend her 

he’s trying to police the situation like “well, i don’t see why you should drag someone’s personal business out on facebook” and “it was only a few phone calls, i don’t see what the big deal is...” and shit and so...y’know, i had to open my big goddamn mouth and get into it 

so like i explained that it’s actually more than “just a few phone calls” it’s actually been a lot of fucking phone calls and letters and people coming to our goddamn door, so there’s that 

and initially he’d tried to be like, “well, she used to live with you all, naturally they might still have your number” and i shut that shit down like...they haven’t lived with us for like...two fucking years, dude, she should have updated her shit 

especially since she KNOWS. we would take her all the mail we kept getting, that should have been a clue like, “oh yeah, i need to call these people and given them my new address” 

but she didn’t. for any of it. and i know because i myself called some of these places and gave them her new address and they were like, “thanks, she never bothered!” so...there’s that 

like i get it, dude, she’s probably in so deep by this point it’s fucking hopeless but at the same time like...that’s not our problem 

especially not since we gave you a fucking unheard of opportunity to try to get your shit together. 

like...what other grown ass adult gets the chance to come live with family rent free for over a year so they can try to get back on their feet? 

we didn’t ask her for shit and maybe it wouldn’t have solved everything, but it should have been adequate time to get yourself together again 

i mean... she pissed away a good portion of it just sitting on her ass doing nothing about getting a job, but ya know whatever 

occasionally my mom might have asked her for help doing something but again it wasn’t like, “rawww, you have to do this or we’ll throw you out on the streets!!!” it was just “hey, you like to do crafty things, can you help me with this project?” and she’d say “sure!” 

sometimes she’d cook and that was a nice gesture, that was appreciated and nobody demanded she keep doing it 

all we ever asked was just...respect us and respect our house. that’s it. 

and i can tell you in the time they lived here i don’t think she ever once cleaned my bathroom even though i shared it with her and her son and her husband when he was here 

now he would help. even though he’d only be able to drop in every once in a while because he drives a truck, he’d still clean 

and i remember once cleaning that goddamn thing for like...3 hours and it was messy again in less than a week so there was that 

my mom asked like once that in the mornings when she finished making her and her son breakfast if she could just...y’know, clean up after herself because it was kinda frustrating for her to come behind them to make her own and have to wash out those dishes so that she could use them and she’s trying to get to work and just...doesn’t have time for that? 

i mean obviously she put it nicely and shit, but that was like...super duper offensive to piece of shit cousin and so after that she didn’t even bother making breakfast here anymore and would instead just go get fast food or some shit and it’s like...wow, someone asked you nicely to clean your fucking dishes and you have to be petty like that? okay

and of course i pissed her off because i brought up the time piece of shit cousin’s daughter just...invited herself to come stay with us during the summer and when my mom asked she straight up LIED but then lo and behold, my mom comes home and there she is!!! 

and not to mention when she left she took a stack of my books with her and didn’t even ask so that was a thing but whatever 

but like i just made the point that it’s just a courtesy thing, like im their own kid but i still don’t just...have people show up without warning because i dunno if they’ve got something on, like maybe mom doesn’t want to have company over this weekend, it’s her house, she pays the bills, it’s not my place to just thrust that upon her 

i didn’t really go into that much detail, but i just kinda brought that up and man, if looks could fuckin kill, dude, she would have murdered me right then and there 

but so after that she was suddenly able to find a place to live and was out of our hair like that and it was like...alright, cool 

we tried to maintain a good relationship with her, like we still went over to her house for stuff and still spent time together and shit, it’s not like that was the end of it, but it was the beginning of the end, i think 

because gradually as time went on like just shit started spilling out, all the shady shit and it’s just built up and up and up and finally my dad’s just...he’s had it 

he’s been dealing with this kind of bullshit all his life and he’s just...he’s over it. he’s done. rightfully so 

and so like...i don’t give a fuck if he puts it on facebook or takes out an ad in the paper that says “hey everyone, let me tell you about this bitch i know” because i think by this point he’s fucking entitled to that????? 

i mean...if for nothing fucking else then the shit about the land 

he gave her a small piece of land that he explained was deeply important to him. it’s important to him that it stays in the family and he explained the entire meaning behind it and everything, k? 

all she had to do was pay the taxes on it and like...jesus christ, it was ridiculously cheap. i’m talking like...less than $100 once a year cheap, if i remember correctly 

but even then like he said, “hey, but if you get into a tight spot and you can’t pay that please let me know and i’ll help you out because i don’t want anything to happen to that land, i won’t mind a bit” and she said okay 

he assumed everything was okay and any time he ever asked her about it she swore up and down that she was paying it, that everything was taken care of, etc., etc 

but then lo and fucking behold, he finds out that they’re about to put that piece of land up for auction or some shit because the taxes haven’t been paid so the state’s taking it back 

and he’s understandably FURIOUS but even then he doesn’t go straight to her 

he spends a lot of time trying to get with a lawyer and driving up to kentucky and getting together enough money to pay back what’s owed (which with fines and shit is now in the thousands) but he eventually gets it back and even still he doesn’t say anything

he does tell her husband, though and at some point he tells her so now she knows that my dad knows 

do you think she ever bothered to confront him about it, though? do you think she ever had the fucking courage to do the right thing and sit down with him and apologize? NOPE 

she never fucking bothered 

she was gonna try to get by with that for as long as she could and hope that no one would notice and as long as she wasn’t being directly called on it, she didn’t have to deal with it 

and that’s how she operates, like...that’s what this whole fucking thing is about 

she will try to get by with whatever she can so long as no one confronts her about it and when they do then they’re the bad guy and nobody understands how hard it is for poor her, she’s such a victim in all this!!!! 

never mind the fact that somehow she made it out of our house with a box full of my sister’s things and had them for two years and somehow just never noticed and never returned them and then when she packed up and left she left those behind to get fucking thrown away 

had it not been for her husband (soon to be her ex, he’s working on it but she’s not doing her part) going over there and cleaning up after her we would have never gotten them back 

also there are some pictures my dad kept in his truck that are now missing. they were like old pictures back from when he and my mom first started dating and they’re not bad pictures but they really only mean something to the both of them but now they’re just...gone 

oh and let’s not forget when we let them stay with us when their power was out during the summer and $60 ended up missing from my mom’s purse... 

but yeah no, man, like she’s a TOTAL beacons of purity and goodness and never, ever does anything wrong 

everything bad that ever happens to her is because of someone or something else, she never has any control whatsoever and it’s this big, bad world that’s made her this way 

everything’s either her parents’ fault or one of her ex’s faults or us or just...who the fuck ever she can blame shit on 

whatever gives her an excuse to point the finger at someone so that she doesn’t have to own up to her shit and actually do something about it 

she’d rather sit on her ass and have a giant pity party while trying to make it seem like she’s just so underappreciated and unloved and boo-hoo 

fuck that nonsense 

i get that people who have been through some shit and had shitty upbringings have a hard time in the world, i really do 

but like...jesus christ, we did not mistreat her and yet the way she’s done us you’d think we had day in and day out 

it’s also not a fucking excuse because like...hell-goddamn-o both of my parents had it rough 

my mom was sexually abused by family members (including a grandfather and one of her brothers (not one of my two uncles, the one i’ve never met who apparently died a few years ago and we just found out so that’s been fucking with her this week) and physically and mentally abused by both her parents growing up. her family was fucking poor as shit and she had to fight so goddamn hard to be where she is. 

i know everyone on that side of the family thinks she’s some stuck up bitch living in a big house looking down on everyone or some shit but like...she worked for it. she didn’t inherit some money or win the lottery, she fought tooth and goddamn nail for what she’s got. she’s tried to build a life for herself and no, she’s not perfect, she’s still weighed down by a lot of demons and the loss of a child hasn’t helped a fucking bit, but she’s still trying, she’s not giving up 

and my dad like...christ, neither of his parents wanted shit to do with him. his mother way physically and verbally abusive to him and he ended up living with other relatives and had to work from a very young age to help support the family. he’s been through goddamn vietnam and when he tried to build a life for himself and his three sons his wife made sure to ruin all of that. he’d be out busting his ass all week long to make a paycheck and she’d turn around and put them in debt before he could even get to the bank. she turned his kids against him and to this day he doesn’t have a good relationship with any of them (even though well into their adulthood he still tried to help them, giving all of them at different points jobs and helping with school and giving them vehicles to drive and a roof over their heads, etc., etc). and again, has he been perfect? no. but like...he still kept working. his business went belly up and he ended up retiring. but he never just...laid down in a ditch and started blaming everyone else for his problems even though he could have 

both of them could have like...shit, if i’d been through even a sliver of what either of them has i wouldn’t be able to function, honestly. 

and i realize everyone’s capacity for shit is different, everyone’s mental state is different, etc. etc, but still. 

point being, she had someone at some point in her life who tried to help her and didn’t ask for shit in return other than “please respect us” and even that was too high a request and it’s been a constant stream of bullshit and disrespect ever since 

and if he’s bringing this to facebook then...who gives a shit, honestly? it’s fucking facebook 

we’ve already established that trying to handle shit in person gets us fucking nowhere 

either she’ll make up a lie and tell it to your face or she’ll just not say anything and pretend like she’s gonna consider what you’re saying and then the next second she’s finding 500 ways to fuck you over and give you the finger while doing it so...ya know 

the only thing she has to fall back on is the idea of herself that she can sell to people who don’t know any better and that’s all she does online 

she builds herself up as this tragic hero who’s doing her best and life just won’t give her a break 

she’ll talk shit all day long about how this person needs to be doing this and this person ought to be doing that but when it’s time for her to actually be responsible...eh 

so fuck her 

and fuck this family, man like...god 

i’m so sick of this shit and this all again is more reason why when people try to tell you to defend your family no matter what, that blood is thicker than water blah blah blah like...nope 

i didn’t choose to be related to these people because if i’d been given the choice i would have stayed as far away as humanly possible 

you don’t owe anyone shit. if you share some blood, doesn’t fucking matter. if they’re not showing you respect you honest to god don’t owe them anything, i don’t care how fucking related you are. 

#~~~family drama~~~~ #in which anna and her dad get into fights on the internet with their stupid ass relatives

[justintimbershit]

1-116

1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

I’m confused as to why this is double spaced. i don’t want it to be double spaced, yet its double spaced. why? fuck off. 

2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

occassionally but not on a regular basis which is tragic 

3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

no. thats fun. 

4: Do you find it easy to trust others?

i trust too easily but i shouldn’t and it bothers me but like, when it matters i don’t trust that easily. i don’t think.

5: What were you doing at 11PM last night?

sitting in bed thinking i should sleep and then not sleeping for a couple hours bc I’m annoying as fuuuuuUUuuuuUuuck 

6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

molly and lex definitely lol

7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

probably cry forever and die 

8: Are you close with your dad?

not really but its fine 

9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

i didn't 

10: What are you listening to?

jennifer talk like always when I’m doing these questions 

11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

probably just water so then i can add flavoring #hacks

12: Do you like hickeys?

yes they’re nice 

13: What time do you go to bed?

whenever the fuck i want I’m an adult, but usually not before midnight ever 

14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

nacho boy. this bitch. like u bought me nachos. then told me u wish u were buying me nachos. and then u tell me u wanna not talk bc ur talking to another girl. how many times can u fuckin say we’ll hang out then cancel on me then tell me i look hot then tell me ur busy for the rest of ur life then tell me u want me then ignore me and let our snap streak die. fuck YOU. 

15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

not as quickly but i can still do it 

16: Do you always answer your texts?

usually always yes. unless I’m ignoring u. but even then ill answer eventually.

17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

ummMmmMm idk who i fell hardest for tbh. but chances are yes bc i hate everyone  

18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

im one of those ppl who constantly has to talk to her friends so like…5 seconds ago lol 

19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

JOEY!!!! THE LOML!!!! he picked me up last time i saw him despite him being literally half my weight. i love him. he could never make me sad. he’s one of my safe spots. always happy in his arms. 

20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

ummmmm i was waiting for a boy to message me back so probably about him tbh 

21: Is anyone else in the room with you?

there is not………that i can see 

22: Do you believe what goes around comes around?

justin timberlake would say yes so i say yes 

23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

no. i am 75634728930% happier now than i was four months ago. i love college. but I’m still not happy. just happier. ya KNOW 

24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

ye i don’t know if things are necessarily broken but they def need fixing but also I’m not gonna try if they’re not gonna try YA FEEL 

25: In the past week, have you cried?

yes. i cried over a dog. 

26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

white.

27: Do people ever call you by your last name?

my teachers used to but not really anymore

28: Is anyone ignoring you right now?

umm the love of my life on tinder is potentially ignoring me or is maybe just really busy i don’t know but i love him and want him to message me back. also, nacho boy like always but iM OVER IT. 

29: Do you have a best friend?

id say i have many 

30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

no. lol 

31: Who was your last call/text message from?

mary was my last text and my mother my last call 

32: Are you mad at anyone?

everyone tbh. i hate people. I’m mad at everyone forever. 

33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

yes like…..4 hours ago 

34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

25

35: How many more days until your birthday?

ONE MONTH EXACTLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

36: Do you have any summer plans yet?

lmao tf no i don’t even have plans for tomorrow 

37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

yes joseph and peter r cool 

38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

i do not really think so, but who tf knows 

39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

i do not really think so?

40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

not that i recall. i mean like now looking back, yes, obviously. but at the time no.

41: Do you think age matters in relationships?

to an extent yes but also to an extent no 

42: Are you available?

not emotionally but physically 

43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

like………i don’t even know if my feelings are real. don’t fucking ask me this. bye. 

44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

nips 

45: Do you believe exes can be friends?

i think so, if its the right kind of exes ya but shits never gonna work if there r still feelings 

46: Do you regret anything?

yes, being born 

47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

how fuckin TIRED I AM I WANNA DIE 

48: Did you ever lose a best friend?

indeed i have, my dude 

49: Was your last kiss a mistake?

i wouldn’t say so 

50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

bc hes involved w Satan (the girl not the devil) and i cant deal w that right now 

51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

no he has not 

52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

ummmm we haven’t talked since he dropped me off but he may text me tomorrow but I’m not about to text him first 

53: What was the last thing you ate?

restaurant style tortilla chips made w 7 seeds and grains 

54: Did you get any compliments today?

i think so. if the boy i had sex w didn’t compliment me i shouldn’t have had sex w him. I’m sure he said something 

55: Where are you going on your next vacation?

i don’t even know if I’m going on a next vacation 

56: Do you own anything from other countries?

i do not think so, which is tragic 

57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?

girls currently 

58: Where have you lived most of your life?

illinois all my life which is LAME 

59: When was the last time you took a long drive?

friday when my mom picked me up from school and drove me home 3 hours

60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

yes in like 7th grade lol but not since i do not believe 

61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

i don’t think so? 

62: Who do you text the most?

ummm this is a great question. maybe mary or ola. 

63: What was the last movie you saw?

i watched zootopia yesterday. i think it was yesterday. idk but i think that was the last movie i saw. unless I’m going crazy. wait jk i watched the beginning of mr. woodcock tonight but didn’t finish it 

64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

i don’t have a current boyfriend/girlfriend 

65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

zero 

66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

no he is not U ALREADY ASKED THIS 

67: Do you curse around your parents?

nope they’d kill me i think 

68: Are you happy with where you live?

i suppose. it could be better but it could also be much worse 

69: Picture of yourself?

imagine a pile of shit inside a trash can filled w trash….thats me 

70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

i like monogamy if its w a good person ya know.

71: Have you ever been dumped?

i do not believe so because i don’t recall ever being in a relationship 

72: What do you most like about making out?

when they stop making out w u and kiss ur neck  

73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

yes, thats what all my make out sessions r like. I’ve never seriously been involved w anyone ever 

74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

1000% other person bc I’m a PUSSY 

75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

smile but also like…abs. fuck me up 

76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

either alex or sam 

77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

that has indeed happened lmao. 

78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

that has thankfully not happened.

79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

when boys call me baby :))))))) and flirts w me :))))))))) i love attention and boys being nice to me 

80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

ummm. depends what ‘involved with’ means. fuck? yes. date? no. 

81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

no bc nobody has ever had a crush on me lol 

82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

i tell my friends and i have a decent amount of friends. 

83: Do you miss your last sweetie?

my last sweetie does not exist, sweetie. jeez get off my fuckin case bro. 

84: Last time you slow danced with someone?

probs never. i don’t ever recall slow dancing w anyone 

85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

that was never a thing that happened. 

86: How can I win your heart?

PUPPIES and soft blankets and FOOOOD 

87: What is your astrological sign?

sagittarius 

88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

nothing much different from what i was doing at 11pm last night 

89: Do you cook?

i do not :( 

90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

no bc i have no old flame 

91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

kinda, ya. :( 

92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

ummm. i don’t wanna fall into a relationship too quick but also if i like someone i wanna date them ya know

93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

nice hair, nice smile, nice body 

94: Name four things that you wish you had!

1. a smoothie 

2. a boy to cuddle me to sleep rn 

3. medicine to cure my brain 

4. money 

95: Are you a player?

i wouldn’t consider myself to be 

96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

according to the definition of a day being 24 hours i believe yes but according to my definition of a day being from when you wake up to when you go to sleep no. 

97: Are you a tease?

I’ve been called a tease but i don’t think i permanently am. i just looked hot and had to get attention from a boy

98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

i don’t think so??? 

99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

yes. justin timberlake 

100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

probs

101: Hugs or Kisses?

hugs 

102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?

yes 100% 

103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

smile 

104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

YES 

105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

um id probs talk to them about it but tell them i wouldn’t if they were still in a relationship regardless ya know 

106: Do you flirt a lot?

i try but i fail a lot 

107: Your last kiss?

like 4 hours ago w a boy named colin 

108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

yes

109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

yes 

110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

justin timberlake or brandon saad 

111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

i have a solid idea 

112: Does someone like you currently?

i think so yes. possibly multiple guys yike 

113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

i do and it HURTS 

114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

id like to be in a relationship but everyone i want to be in a relationship w makes it impossible to do so 

115: Ever made out with just a friend?

yes. i have, thank u v much 

116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?

ive never been in. a relationship so i don’t have anything to compare it to.

#questions