#so i guess i'm vague-posting about some weird guy on reddit | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

catboykilljoy97 · 8 months

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As mentioned, I'm starting a weekly "life updates" post! Hidden below the cut, so if you're not interested, scroll on by

Yikes, sitting here typing this out feels so...self serving x_x but hey, I like seeing update posts about people's lives, and it's not like I'm forcing anyone to read this if they don't want to. Plus, maybe act like a pressure valve, so I don't go off ventposting again (again if you followed me last winter/spring oh god i am so sorry)

And now...ooh, what do I say? My life's not super interesting right now. The web development stuff is going well. For those of you who don't know (which I guess is all of you, idk if I've told the full story yet)-- since march, I've been learning how to become a web developer/web programmer! Basically, the story is, my dad and my aunt both work in web development (she handles more of the client side of it, he handles more of the code-writing). When I showed an interest in having any kind of computer-y job, my dad started hinting at me that if I learned how to do what he does, I could take over some of his clients, wink wink, nudge nudge. I was kinda ehhhhhh about it for a while (working with my dad is weird for a lot of reasons, i wasn't sure I could get used to having a desk job, and also I didn't want to be a nepo baby 😐). But, after my life completely and utterly went to shit hit a low point, I decided to at least give it a try. Not like I had anything to lose, right? Especially not my dignity, ye gods. And as a then-25-year-old community college washout who's spent the last 4 years working part time at a grocery store and trying sometimes failing to avoid become a psych ward regular again...yeah, I had to be realistic about what my options were.

So I went online to figure out what I needed to know, how to learn it, and how fast I could learn it. And the answer to the last question is, way faster than you'd think! And I'm actually liking it a lot so far! working with my dad is weird tho and i still don't want to be a nepo baby lmao I'm trying to see it more like an apprenticeship, maybe. And eventually, hopefully I'll be able to completely take over some of his clients, even get some of my own, have my own business, my own servers maybe, and actually make more than poverty wages for the first time in my life. A guy can dream, right?

Other than that, not much going on. Haven't been doing any writing lately. Brain not cooperating. Everything's just...ehhh. The worries/obessions aren't as bad, but having to constantly bat them away is taking a toll. It's like a constant low-level background noise, which is better than it's been, but it also still sucks.

I'm working on it, though, My goal is to get out more. Go new places. See new people. Maybe even interact with them. Most of my worries/obsessions revolve around being different/morally lesser/less deserving than other people, and of being disliked/ostracized/not fitting in. gee, i fucking wonder why. And, as it turns out, if you have those preexisting beliefs, and if most of the people whose lives and opinions you see are random fuckos on reddit, it's gonna further convince you that people are going to nitpick and hate you for...everything I'm worried people will nitpick and hate me for (keeping it vague here).

Aw, shit, this is getting long. There's more I was gonna say, but maybe I'll leave it for next week. Consider this a trial run.

#cbkj life updates #these are probably gonna be on saturday/sunday ish #cause sunday&monday are usually my weekend so the timing works out #but don't count on consistency lmao

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rnegitsune · 4 years

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Ok so I thought I'd put together some horror stories from my time as a babymetal fan bc of how drastic the shift in the fandom has been the past year or so. For context I got into babymetal in like june of 2014 (all 3 girls were still underage at the time, I was 22; when I first got into them I thought I would be considered an older fan lmao the naivete, the innocence of new fan me wow I know now I'm not at all in the older half of the fandom esp considering I was born the same decade as su and moa), and I made this blog in I think may of 2015.

I've had people say I should compile men being gross into a post and I just couldn't do that out of fear for my own mental health but this will be pretty close. These are all my experiences with this fandom over the years; I'm definitely missing some but what I do remember should do well to cover most of how this fandom used to be vs now. It's gonna be a lot and tw for men being gross about minors.

Back in my first year or so of this blog I on multiple occasions got dms from men asking to be friends. At the time my bio only said my name and my pronouns. I've always been cautious of dms so I'd ask their age and every single one was considerably older than me. I wouldn't usually answer after that bc no thanks but they would generally try to continue convos til I blocked. The only one I still had was this one

After I put my age in my bio, which was 23 at the time, I never got a dm like that again; take from that what you will. But if you're young please be wary of this hell fandom even now. And if you're an older fan and esp an older male fan reading this, don't dm people trying to be friends. I was over 18 and it still creeped me out to no end.

One of my real first men in this fandom are disgusting moments was a blog back in like 2015 or 2016 who I had some contact with due to common interests; he was a huge yui stan and made bm content. He was like 28 or 29 at the time and I eventually noticed he would tag idols, mostly kpop girls, by their body parts (legs, butt, etc) which is disgusting enough as it is but then I saw him do the same for literal minors, like tzuyu from twice. I messaged him asking what the hell he was doing objectifying women but also actual children and he blocked me lmao. He later unblocked me to let me know that's just how he tagged things and it was my fault he had anxiety and then he blocked me again.

Back before the tumblr purge this fandom was repulsive to a degree I cannot even begin to describe. Someone would reblog something from me, I'd go to their blog and it would be underage jpop idols and japanese p*rn all the way down. I even stumbled upon a man editing underage su into p*rn gifs. Obviously no proof of that but I did go find my initial reaction to it

The number of times I'd get a follow from someone then go to their blog and it would be as mentioned above or their bio would be the most misogynistic trash I'd ever read was staggering. I genuinely considered giving up and deleting this blog so many times bc i felt oberwhelmed and outnumbered by these gross old dudes; and so the fact that this fandom has evolved into a bunch of chaotic wlw?? Amazing, I could cry.

Fun phenomenon of women running bm blogs was men sending messages asking if we liked babymetal. No joke. I think this happened to me two or three times but I spoke w other female creators at the time and it had happened to them as well. My entire blog is babymetal, and yet???

He said the weird guy idk bc he sent some random ass messages vaguely insulting me and when I responded coldly, he acted confused so I said you're some guy idk, hence the above message starting as such. Also that pic and the one up above that has my current pfp bc I just took those screenshots. Like I said I typically blocked weird dms but I guess these passed me by so I still had the messages.

Most people know the sub reddit is the worst and don't need me to tell you but it's a hellscape and I highly recommend avoiding it. A short list of things I've had to see as a result of going there: men discussing at length kano and momoko's appearances and how they look in costume vs in normal clothes. Men discussing at length the hope that the girls would marry men who aren't Japanese, a thread that was from when all 3 girls were underage. They aren't gonna marry you dude they're really not.

The insulting of billie Eilish, a 17 year old at the time, was horrible too. Su and moa got to meet her, something they were extremely excited for, and they posted a pic; the comments were disgusting as you can imagine. The yui rumors were terrible too, fatshaming, slutshaming etc all based on nothing. Some man saying the rumors about yui leaving bc, no joke this was a real rumor, she "got too fat" couldn't be true bc "look at saya." Saya being a barely 18 yo back up dancer who covered the third spot after yui left but before the avengers. Not to mention the upskirt shots from when they were minors, the constant editing of their faces onto explicit photoshoots etc. I remember being a new fan looking for a su pic on google and being horrified at the fact that one of the top suggested results after her name was “bikini;” she was 16 at the time. Also, the uptick in massively creepy posts and messages sent to bm blogs as each girl, but esp moa and yui, approached 18 was disgusting.

Now for some personal nonsense. A big reason why I haven't touched my youtube channel in months is bc I got tired of dealing with the men of this fandom. I poke fun at metal and get told I deserve to die. I say ped*philes and creepy men are gross and get a swarm of middle aged men cursing at me. Had a guy cry about how men are shamed for liking bm and then he turned around and said some gross shit about wlw. Had a guy call me racist for liking a band he also likes (and despite him having no way of knowing my own race) and tell me the babymetal fandom doesn't need my kpop feminist bullshit, which is honestly a great description and I thought about putting it in my yt about lmao. Had a middle aged man unironically say he'd never seen a man be creepy towards bm but fans su and moa's ages calling them hot was creepy. The disillusionment....the level of unawareness is astounding. If you want to see screenshots of some of these comments they are fairly recent in my don't mind me tag; I don't want to see them anymore tho bc they're infuriating so I'm not going to look at them to post here.

Essentially I haven't looked at my channel since may bc men are exhausting and rude and refuse to examine the fandoms they're a part of no matter what. They're told by a woman of the fandom that she's had bad experiences personally and they all start crying about how it's either a lie bc they haven't seen it or unimportant. I did stop reading comments in may and I will never read another one again probably as a result of this shit. Trash men being trash are not worth my time and I refuse to give them anymore of it. I do plan on making more videos tho and let my ~feminist kpop bullshit~ live in their minds rent free.

I will also continue to make fun of metal and the creepy men in this fandom bc it's important and I'm a spiteful asshole who likes disrupting these dudes perfect bubble of a fandom. It genuinely brings me so much joy seeing all the new fans recently (which sidenote if you got into them recently I am kinda curious as to how you found them; I've gotten tons of new followers and considering how inactive they are rn I'm curious). People sending messages about how they finally feel like they belong or that they have a safe space....like I don't even know what to say and I never feel like my responses fully convey how genuinely wonderful that is and how thrilled I am that this is where we're at now and I have had at least some part in it. As this post shows, my experiences have been negative for the most part so the shift recently is such a relief I cannot even begin to explain my gratitude.

So to anyone who read all of this and hasn't disintegrated from the male bullshit, thank you. Keep being yourself and fighting for your place in this fandom, esp if you're a young woman; keep making fun of the creeps and keep making wlw memes!! Babymetal's music is in such a huge way meant for girls and to see more and more finding their way to this previously hellish beyond belief fandom is incredible.

#babymetal #don't mind me #this is long ok

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leviathan-supersystem · 5 years

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what is lesswrong and can you summarize why it's bad? I'm new to the term and Google results are kinda vague

it’s the blog joined at the hip with MIRI, the machine intelligence research research institute, which is a weird-ass AI doomsday cult which is seems grimes has gotten mixed up with. you know roko’s basilisk? that’s them.

anyways to save time i’m going to copy-paste an earlier response to this kind of question from this post:

so have you ever seen someone saying in their blog description that they’re a “rationalist”? well that’s the self-descriptor used by people who come from a site called “lesswrong.com,” which is run by a guy named Eliezer Yudkowsky, and which purports to teach people the methods of “bayesian rationalism,” which is basically just a method to pretend you’re using math to help make your decisions, but since it involves guesstimating the probabilities you’re calculating, it’s not noticeably any better than just guessing without math. the whole thing traces it’s roots back to the site Overcoming Bias, which was wirtten by Eliezer and a man named Robin Hanson, who was involved in several Bush-era scandals [link]. going back further, the community can be traced to the Extropians, a techno-libertarian group from the 90′s.

oh, also Eliezer wrote a terrible Harry Potter fanfiction to promote bayesian “rationality” as well, called “Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality.”

anyways, aside from teaching people bayesian “rationality,” lesswrong is also an extension of MIRI, or the Machine Intelligence Research Institute, which is based around the idea that we are inevitably headed toward the creation of an all-powerful computer dictator, and that the only course of action is to make sure that we create a good computer dictator, and not a bad one. the whole thing has a decidedly quasi-religious undercurrent, and at one point that undercurrent burst through to the surface in the creation of Roko’s Basilisk, which was when someone on the site posited that when the all-powerful computer dictator comes into being, it will eternally punish anyone who didn’t do enough to help it come into being by donating to MIRI, so to avoid being punished forever people should donate as much as possible to MIRI, like some kind of modern incarnation of Pascals wager. while most of them don’t still subscribe to this belief, a small percentage of them do.

at any rate, besides the bad logic and AI worship, they also have really shitty politics- Eliezer Yudkowsky is a right-wing libertarian, as is Scott Alexander, who runs the closely related site SlateStarCodex. among the other nonsense, they both constantly try to use their sites to try to sell right-wing libertarianism to moderate progressives, perhaps most explictly in the slatestarcodex post “Right is the New Left”[link] which is basically dedicated to trying to convince progressive liberals that they should shift politically rightward and become libertarians. there are a whole bunch of really shitty conceptual frameworks they’ve come up with as part of this, including the “blue tribe/red tribe/grey tribe” framework, which is this really weak shoddy framework based around broad stereotypes about left-leaning people being snooty wealthy cosmopolitan democrats, right-wing people being simple working class rural people, and techno-libertarians being smart free-thinking genuises, and trying to use this framework as a sales pitch for libertarianism. probably the best illustration of how the concept is used by people in that community as a sales pitch for libertarianism is this post by pax-dickinson [link]. the fact that lower-income people actually lean leftward, thus contradicting their whole framework, doesn’t seem to phase them. you can straight up show them the statistics and they’ll still insist that it’s the gospel truth that left-wingers are all snooty rich whole-foods shoppers.

at any rate, besides being partially an effort by libertarians to recruit progressives and shift them rightward, the whole thing is funded personally by wealthy right-wing CEO Peter Thiel, who is known for his various statements about how democracy should be abolished and women should have never been given the vote, as well as his association with the neofascist alt-right sub-movement “NeoReaction,” specifically Mencius Moldbug, who Peter Thiel is also funding.

the sad thing is that Eliezer Yudkowsky doesn’t even seem to realize the extent of what Peter Thiel is using him to achieve by shifting people’s politics further rightward. Eliezer was shocked, for instance, when Peter Thiel endorsed Trump, instead of Gary Johnson.

so basically the lesswronger community is liberals being played like suckers by right-wing libertarians who are being played like suckers by neofascists. chain of fools.

as a result of this, the lesswronger community exemplify everything rancid about liberalism. very “the free market is sacred!” type politics. very “but fascists have feelings too!” type politics. people who think of themselves as progressive, but actually act in every capacity toward supporting right-wing causes.

which brings us to how I first encountered them

so i was just minding my own business, being a communist, saying unkind things about fascists on the world wide web, when these dipshits started dogpiling me and my friends for being communists, and saying unkind things about fascists, and screaming at us that we’re evil and stupid, etc.

but of course, then when we responded to these critiques, and offered our own critiques of the politics of lesswrong, they absolutely lost their shit, and acted like the victims.

also when i pointed out that one of their dear friends was in fact Wesley Eugene Rian, better known by his nom-de-blog Nydwracu, a well-known neoreactionary and utter piece of shit, and that this was perhaps relevant information to the debate, they similarly lost their shit, accusing me of victimizing him, since apparently being a prominent neofascist theorist is just “words on the internet” but me pointing out that someone is a neofascist theorist is terrible and dangerous. Nydwracu, incidentally, still engages in all the kind of douchebaggery you would expect, including recently trying to create a media hoax framing someone for murder [link]. the lesswrongers will constantly make excuses for this, and say the real bad guys are the leftists, and if they were just nicer to Nydwracu, he wouldn’t even be “fascist-ing on the internet” [link]. this of course is bullshit.

EDIT: oh, also, i almost forgot- around this time the lesswrongers began shipping me with nydwracu. like in the fandom sense. they came up with a name for the ship and everything. it was really really really really really creepy.

anyways, in spite of their constant whining about how left-wingers need to be more “charitable” toward right-wingers in debates, the lesswrongers themselves have absolutely atrocious conduct in debates, are extremely prone to flying off the handle and acting like assholes. anyways here’s some posts where i got trapped in debates with these assholes which pretty much sum up what they’re all about:

(links for desktop): [link] [link] [link] [link] [link]

(links for mobile): [link] [link] [link] [link] [link]

Addendum: you can also get a feel for the overall vibe of the community by checking out the reddit board r/slatestarcodex, which is a board for fans of the blog slate star codex, which spun off from lesswrong. you can also check out it’s rival community r/sneerclub, (name’s a joking reference to a post Yudkowsky made whining about people who didn’t like his harry potter fanfic) which is for critics and ex-members of the community, and has case after case documented of former members burning out under the weight of the overwhelming right-wing bias of the community beneath their thin pretense of “neutrality”.

#lesswrong #Anonymous #longpost #rationalist

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