#so fucking horrible

[heliographe]

finally started sobbing full on when he said how before the stream was up he'd looked into the chat and there was ten thousand people sending o7. just... fuck. he is beloved. he is so beloved.

#technoblade #i havent been so #just like #this #since his death was first announced all those months ago #its #therapeutic #its nice but #so fucking horrible

[gaytobymeres]

Oslo 💔💔

#so fucking horrible

[liorlen]

gale origin playthru from astarion’s pov or smth like that

#bloodweave #astarion #gale of waterdeep #gale dekarios #bg3 #baldur’s gate 3 #ihhhhhhhhhuuhhhhh bad idea to make a comic that’s not required for work #but finally fucking finished it. excuse the horrible lettering I cannot be fucked #tbh when Tara came in with that fucking ring of agility like #first rest I was like. girl why are you giving me something useful #and I rushed to find the most useless object I could #thank you Komira you’re a real one #also I’m so sorry to astarion for simplifying the swaggy gold decor on your outfit but I was not drawing that twenty times #also yeah this is like early act 1 no one knows about the netherese orb or astarion’s vampirism (supposedly) yet

[inkskinned]

the thing is there's like, a point of oversaturation for everything, and it's why so many things get dropped after a few minutes. and we act like millennials or gen z kids "have short attention spans" but... that's not quite it. it's more like - we did like it. you just ruined it.

capitalism sees product A having moderate success, and then everything has to come out with their "own version" of product A (which is often exactly the same). and they dump extreme amounts of money and environmental waste into each horrible simulacrum they trot out each season.

now it's not just tiktokkers making videos; it's that instagram and even fucking tumblr both think you want live feeds and video-first programming. and it helps them, because videos are easier to sneak native ads into. the books coming out all have to have 78 buzzwords in them for SEO, or otherwise they don't get published. they are making a live-action remake of moana. i haven't googled it, but there's probably another marvel or starwars something coming out, no matter when you're reading this post.

and we are like "hi, this clone of project A completely misses the point of the original. it is soulless and colorless and miserable." and the company nods and says "yes totally. here is a different clone, but special." and we look at clone 2 and we say "nope, this one is still flat and bad, y'all" and they're like "no, totally, we hear you," and then they make another clone but this time it's, like, a joyless prequel. and by the time they've successfully rolled out "clone 89", the market is incredibly oversaturated, and the consumer is blamed because the company isn't turning a profit.

and like - take even something digital like the tumblr "live streaming" function i just mentioned. that has to take up server space and some amount of carbon footprint; just so this brokenass blue hellsite can roll out a feature that literally none of its userbase actually wants. the thing that's the kicker here: even something that doesn't have a physical production plant still impacts the environment.

and it all just feels like it's rolling out of control because like, you watch companies pour hundreds of thousands of dollars into a remake of a remake of something nobody wants anymore and you're like, not able to afford eggs anymore. and you tell the company that really what you want is a good story about survival and they say "okay so you mean a YA white protagonist has some kind of 'spicy' love triangle" and you're like - hey man i think you're misunderstanding the point of storytelling but they've already printed 76 versions of "city of blood and magic" and "queen of diamond rule" and spent literally millions of dollars on the movie "Candy Crush Killer: Coming to Eat You".

it's like being stuck in a room with a clown that keeps telling the same joke over and over but it's worse every time. and that would be fine but he keeps fucking charging you 6.99. and you keep being like "no, i know it made me laugh the first time, but that's because it was different and new" and the clown is just aggressively sitting there saying "well! plenty of people like my jokes! the reason you're bored of this is because maybe there's something wrong with you!"

#this was much longer i had to cut it down for legibility #but i do want to say i am aware this post doesnt touch on human rights violations as a result of fast fashion #that is because it deserves its own post with a completely different tone #i am an environmental educator #so that's what i know the most about. it wouldn't be appropriate of me to mention off-hand the real and legitimate suffering #that people are going through #without doing my research and providing real ways to help #this is a vent post about a thing i'm watching happen; not a call to action. it would be INCREDIBLY demeaning #to all those affected by the fast fashion industry to pretend that a post like this could speak to their suffering #unfortunately one of the horrible things about latestage capitalism as an activist is that SO many things are linked to this #and i WANT to talk about all of them but it would be a book in its own right. in fact there ARE books about each level of this #and i encourage you to seek them out and read them!!! i am not an expert on that i am just a person on tumblr doing my favorite activity #(complaining) #and it's like - this is the individual versus the industry problem again right because im blaming myself #for being an expert on environmental disaster (which is fucking important) but not knowing EVERYTHING about fast fashion #i'm blaming myself for not covering the many layers of this incredibly complicated problem im pointing out #rather than being like. yeah so actually the fault here lies with the billion dollar industries actually. #my failure to be able to condense an incredibly immense problem that is BOOK-LENGTH into a single text post that i post for free #is not in ANY fucking way the same amount of harm as. you know. the ACTUAL COMPANIES doing this ACTUAL THING for ACTUAL MONEY. #anyway im gonna go donate money while i'm thinking about it. maybe you can too. we can both just agree - well i fuckin tried didn't i #which is more than their CEOs can say

[puppyeared]

these two are so interesting to me

characters belong to @canisalbus

#clenches fists. im so sosososo normal about them. i think about them a normal amount (lying) #actually the 2nd image is based on some sort of anime couple pose template(?????) that i saw a while back and wanted to draw them in it #but i swear to god i CANNOT FUCKING FIND IT. i was literally knee deep in yuri and yaoi fanart for hours trying to find that god damn photo #but i dont even know who the characters were and pinterest just shows me bakugou and deku making out sloppy style whenever i try #so i gave up an tried drawing it from memory and cried the whole time. i hate anatomy.. but they look so happy so its fine #god whenever i see Lore or sweet little tidbits for these two i want to tear into something with my teeth and throw something /pos #i genuinely want to study these gay little renaissance dogs under a microscope #what fucks me up is the fact that we all know it ends horribly but u cant help loving them anyway.. they are so. incoherent hand gestures #my art #myart #others ocs #vasco #machete #vaschete #furry art #fur #anthro

[cemeterything]

the older and weirder i get the more i'm beginning to realize that i was actually a very cool kid who had no shame or fear until i was taught that i'd be punished for it and everything since then has been a slow uphill battle to get that part of myself back

#🐉 #like man i was so unbullyable until i let myself be bullyable #not blaming myself because i was a kid but fuck i shouldve listened to the girl who told me i needed to stop caring #about what other people thought about me and being so desperate for their attention #she meant it in a horrible way because her point was that i was inherently unlikable and should accept that #but she was technically right she just had the wrong intentions

[vaguely-concerned]

sometimes I think of all the on-the-surface warm, well-meaning but deeply ineffectual advice and attention john gives harrow through harrow the ninth (make some soup and get some sleep! get a hobby! don't be so hard on yourself! self care harrow! as long as I need take no actual responsibility in this relationship whatsoever I would have loved to be your dad!) set up against the stark truth that with his other hand he has been staging her attempted horrific murder again and again and again like a living nightmare on the logic that it will 'put her down or fix her'. and then I find that I wish there is a hell. a special hell where twitch streamers turned necromantic death emperors go

#the locked tomb #harrowhark nonagesimus #john gaius #harrow the ninth #this is why I don't buy john as misunderstood and initially well-meaning AT ALL #this is a pattern you see with him again and again and again -- right down to his interpersonal relationships #(and indeed it's in the more grounded interpersonal relationships you can most clearly see him as he is I think #the fantasy death empire of a thousand years doesn't register quite as viscerally because it's like. heightened; not quite real #but the emotional violence and manipulation that surrounds him? oh boy that is EXTREMELY real and scarily well-observed) #there's a premeditation to so much of what he does (contracts with planets that only end 'in the event of the emperor's death' anyone? #yeah john we get it you're hilarious and I wish you weren't) #the greatest trick john ever pulled was making anyone think he's just a lil guy. what does he know he's only god #when you first read the book the complete callousness of the other adults is so horrible that john seems like an oasis of care #(though you start to get this uneasy feeling when that care never seems to translate to like... relief or soothing or resolution) #and it makes it feel almost obscene when you find out what's actually going on #it's the mercy & augustine enabler hour but at least they're completely honest in their cruelty there #while john is -- well he sure is being john huh #this is just me being angry with him btw philosophically I don't think this is how the story will or should end #(with john slam dunked right into hell that is) #it's just... harrow is so vulnerable. and what he does to her is so insidious and fucked up #john is very deeply human. unfortunately the capacity to quite simply suck so much is deeply human too

[babydarkstar]

it makes me really insane that gideon doesn’t believe harrow could ever love her. insane. like i get it i get that the only way she knows how to be loved is to be objectified and useful and turned into a weapon and harrow has never treated her well, the ninth has never treated her like a human and she’s an animal in a spiked cage but then to get harrow’s perspective and witnessing the last thread of what was holding her together snap because she lost gideon. gideon having been so assured of her worthlessness not believing that harrowhark ‘you are my only friend. i am undone without you. gideon. gideon. i cannot do this. i cannot conceive of a universe without you. if i should forget you let my right hand also be forgotten.’ gideon’s-name-was-the-last-thing-her-body-said-before-death-even-when-her-mind-couldnt-process-it nonagesimus feels even slightly attached to her. it makes me feel like tearing my hair out actually

#horrible evil wretched femme loves the easygoing malleable happy go lucky butch #and it goes horribly wrong in every way imaginable #theyre so stupid😔 #tlt #griddlehark #tlt spoilers #gideon’s fucking. kicking rocks about ALECTO meanwhile harrow’s lobotomizing over gideon #These Dykes Are So Dumb #harrow literally Saving The Last Dance for gideon and gideon’s moping about THE FROZEN BITCH IN THE TOMB

[noctilia]

reference by photo.destruction

#i’m at it again folks #i’m a sucker for toxic codependency #probably my favorite relationship / interaction in NtN #they’re so fucked up in so many ways #i hope they die horribly #but in a good way #tridentarii #coronabeth tridentarius #ianthe tridentarius #fanart #noctiliart #the locked tomb #thanks whoever started the latest twitter discourse for reminding me to do this

[botanyshitposts]

ok this sounds insane but in 2018 i went to a few carnivorous plant talks at the botany conference in minnesota. i got caught up in conversation with one of the guys there who was a huge nepenthes guy who told me a story about another collector in the pacific northwest who'd been buying poached plants, like a huge amount, and eventually got staked out by the fish and wildlife service and arrested and had all his plants seized and went to prison for it. idk if i ever talked about this on this blog before-- i know i liveblogged a lot from that conference but cant remember what all i posted-- but ive avoided talking about it since then because i was never able to find like, news articles or anything covering it, but behold.... we now have proof it was real, and im like 80% sure this was this guy he was talking about. the raid happened in 2016 and they'd been staking them out since 2013. he had nearly 400 plants and had been sourcing many of them from poachers in indonesia and borneo.

remember folks: poaching happens with plants too! it's a huge problem not only in carnvirous plants (nepenthes especially, which this piece is dedicated to talking about) but also in native plant populations in the US, including native carnivorous plant populations (north and south carolina's venus fly traps, california's darlingtonia, and sarracenia from the east coast), native orchids (historically one of the most poached categories), desert plants/cacti/succulents, and slow-growing woody ornamentals (cycads, for example). never buy bare-root plants off ebay or facebook! your best bet is local nurseries (which usually purchase farm-raised plants that do well in a wide range of conditions, and as a result have a healthy population in the wild) or specialty greenhouses (more expensive, but at least in the case of carnivorous plants offer young plants bred from established adult plants in-house, raised in captivity).

#super sad piece fellas like this shit guts me i cant even stress it enough #stories about nepenthes poaching hit different #there are hundreds of species #some are really common and widespread all over indonesia/china/japan/oceania #and some are like. super hyperadapted to one specific ridge on one specific mountain #theyre still being recorded and stuff because theyve speciated so much #so youll have a plant that has like. a max of 15 adults in the population at any given time. literally a nightmare scenario #AND theyre diaceous (there are male plants and female plants). doesnt seem like a problem until you think about the population dynamics #there not only has to be two plants but the plants have to be a male and a female #and people living there have reason to take them. like the poacher interviewed in this article does it to supplement his income #from working at a horrifying rubber production ordeal to feed his wife and kids #and he says everyone in his village does the same for the same reasons #nightmare!! nightmare!! nightmare horrible nightmare world!!! horrible fucking nightmare!!!! #nepenethes #carnivorous plants #poaching #conservation

[starlightseraph]

i actually hate house and wilson like what do you mean you talk about railing each other constantly and you live together and you’re the only people you want during the most important times of your lives and you canonically say i love you but when one of you is dying you refuse to say it unless they try everything imaginable to survive and you quite literally can’t live without each other and you nearly die multiple times because of it and you save yourselves for each other and you run away from everyone and everything to ride off in the sunset together and live out the last days of your lives just with each other. what do you fucking mean.

#just fuck already #I HATE THEM I HATE THEM FUCKCKNCKXK #SHUT UPPPP THEY NEED TO STOP #they are so horrible for this #all of it #absolutely disgusting #someone restrain them. and me. please i’m losing it. #*i must clarify that all of these tags are affectionate. i care about them and ship them to an obscene degree.* #hilson #hate crimes md #hugh laurie #robert sean leonard #rsl #house md #gregory house #james wilson

[sizzlingsandwichperfection-blog]

Hi. I've started writing a semi-weekly TB Newsletter, if you're interested in that kind of thing. Here's the second letter--about public-private partnerships, leprosy, and my forthcoming big announcement about expanding access to tuberculosis care. You'll hear more about that on Thursday. Anyway, here's the newsletter. You can sign up here.

---

In advance of the Big Announcement this Thursday, I made a vlogbrothers video today on how we end TB–with the comprehensive care plan often known as S-T-P, which is short for “Search, Treat, and Prevent.” But one thing I didn’t discuss in that video is the downstream benefits of comprehensive TB care.

Once you’ve hired community health workers to screen for TB, it becomes much easier to screen for other illnesses like diabetes, high blood pressure, and non-TB lung issues (especially lung cancer). TB is notoriously a disease of vicious cycles–a disease of malnutrition that makes malnutrition worse, a disease of poverty that makes poverty worse, and so on–but addressing TB can be a story of virtuous cycles: TB survivors become TB advocates, as I’ve seen with my friend Henry in Sierra Leone. More effective TB treatment leads to less stigmatization of the disease, as communities come to see the disease as curable and survivable rather than terrifying and deadly. And better access to TB care leads to a stronger overall healthcare system, because more community health workers are better connected to more primary healthcare clinics, which allows communities to better address all kinds of health problems.

—

Mycobacterium tuberculosis is not the only bacteria of its family that causes a lot of human suffering; there is a closely related species called mycobacterium leprae that causes the disease known as Hansen's Disease, or more commonly leprosy. There are still around 200,000 cases of leprosy diagnosed each year around the world, and while the disease is curable, it also remains–especially if not caught and treated early–a significant driver of suffering and disability in our world. 

There are many connections between TB and leprosy: Not only are the bacteria that cause these illnesses very similar, but patients have often expressed similarities in experience. TB patients who were encouraged or forced to live in sanitariums often compared themselves to lepers. One disheartening parallel between the diseases is that in both cases, those living with these illnesses are often abandoned by their families and must make new social connections within the new community of “leper” or “consumptive.” Also, both Hansen’s Disease and TB continue to exist largely because of systemic failures rather than due to a lack of knowledge or technology.

—

I really recommend Dr. Salmaan Keshavjee’s TED talk about how we ended TB in the U.S., and how we can end it using the same strategy around the world.

—

Last link from me today: I’ve been thinking a lot about the complex intersection between public and private investment (for reasons that will be clear on Thursday!) and I keep coming back to one infographic in an excellent paper (https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0256883) about the public money that was poured into the creation of the GeneXpert Machine, which can quickly and accurately test for TB. The GeneXpert machine has created a lot of profit for Danaher’s shareholders, and it has also created some societal benefit, but it could create a lot more societal benefit if it created less profit for Danaher’s shareholders. This tension seems to me one of the defining features of 21st century life. Anyway, here is the infographic:

That’s the money–over $250,000,000 of it–that came from taxpayers (mostly in the U.S. and Europe) to fund the creation of the GeneXpert Machine. And yet, this tech largely funded by the public is controlled entirely by private enterprise. I’m troubled by that model of value allocation, even if I still believe that private money and private enterprise have important roles to play in fueling innovation. But taking a quarter billion dollars of public money and then claiming total ownership over a technology, and using that ownership to deny the technology to the world’s poorest people, seems like a deeply flawed system of resource distribution to me.

I’ll see you on Thursday. I’m nervous and excited.

DFTBA,

John

#tuberculosis #it's so funny how this became my job #not like my paying job but the one i do and think about all the time #like of all things #it was this #this is my hobby #anyway #beats jkr's horrible fucking hobby anyday

[barghest-land]

drew arthur with a little friend. they're talking about life and death

#rdr2 #rdr2 fanart #barghestland #arthur morgan #art #artists on tumblr #this week life was so fucking horrible i'm on the edge of having a little breakdown #and when im sad and stressed and done with life i just draw arthur #cuz his depressed ass would understand #u know.. yeah :( #i hope whoever reads it is having a better time #if u want u can tell me smth nice in tags or anywhere really<3 #like tell me silly names of ur pets or facts about ur favorite bugs #i'd be happy to hear that

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

Got a crack idea about Gonzo being married to Ms.Beagle and is Barnaby's stepdad lol

why would you say this? im obsessed

instantly reminded me of those family photos w/ a stepparent where the kid is Visibly pissed the hell off

#this is horrible i hate it and its everything to me #to be fair i often black out when i hear 'gonzo' so... how could i resist! #THIS IS SO STUPIDDDDDDDD I LOVE IT. FUCK #this is the Real welcome home x muppets crossover we all needed- #scribble salad #damn. i wish i was gonzo #wait - wait no actually thats. no i shouldnt be saying this in the current context #all i mean is he's gender ok? he's Gender-

[sbeana]

im so normal about them

#the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #harrow the ninth #the locked tomb art #its so #theyre so #and im so #and the spikes are so #heehhee #i didnt read the other books yet just gideon so please dont tell me something horrible like uhm idk something crazy like gideon dying or #whatver #this took me so long to finish i got stuck in another country in the middle of it so that was a bit of an inconvienience #also im ngl i dont understand the scenery in some scenes too well from just the first read #and also waht the fuck the doors thing is all about #but ill figure it out <3 #eventually <3 #griddlehark

[miamicommune]

.

#drugs aren't making me feel better anymore #nothing's working #i can't do this for much longer everything is so horrible #so fucking horrible