#so far from what I've seen nobody gets us but well. us. even we'll intentioned people refuse to change their behavior to accommodate

[haneys]

people who don't experience psychosis STOP ITTTTTTT. Like for real STOP

#patxt #so far from what I've seen nobody gets us but well. us. even we'll intentioned people refuse to change their behavior to accommodate #and if psychotic people don't stand up for each other and talk abt our experiences then nobody else does #even in the 'menthol illness community' everyone is like all illnesses are valid uwu! and then turn around and are so #vile about psychosis like ok okay. ok #I'm frustrated sorry -_-

[wolvesandpetals]

Loki x Sylvie Post-Finale Fanfiction (Angst, Rated Teen) Part 2 of 2

Part 1 is here:

She never knew it would hurt this much when the person she loves is right in front of her, but she can't reach out and touch him; when she is still her, he is still him, but everything else has changed, like an invisible lever in an old theatre changing the scenery in the background, bringing them both to the part of the play where they are hopelessly lost.

[[MORE]]

All it took was one single moment, one single decision, and everything feels irrevocably broken now. It makes her contemplate on the true nature of relationships, how fragile they are, and how easy it is to shatter them- and her.

The smoke is slowly clearing, and all that seems to be left is a man who is doing his best to keep his distance from her, physically and emotionally.

She can tell from the way he stands with his arms crossed, or his fists clenced when his hands are by his side, that he really doesn't want to hold her hand. How can something so simple as the touch of his fingers be so vital to her existence that it feels like something has been ripped out from inside her?

She wants to reach out and touch him, but she is scared that if he pulls away outright, any hope of reconciliation that she still has left will shatter into pieces.

And she really needs this hope. It's the only thing she still has left. It's the only thing that keeps her going.

---

He looks like a man with a mission.

They spent quite a long time together, running from the TVA, running towards the citadel at the end of time, hoping to achieve their goal of bringing down the one behind the curtains.

But that was her mission, and he was there for her. She was the one behind the wheels, he was the one keeping the sails afloat.

Now it's different. Now he has a defined goal, a glorious purpose.

She's seeing him in a whole new light now, and not just because he has switched to Asgardian leather and metal armors.

As far as she is concerned, she is better off doing it all alone. One woman army, nobody to get in her way, nobody to screw up her plans. Nobody to blame her if it all goes to shit.

Or so it was, until two months ago, when Mobius decided to enlist her help in fixing the multiversal madness.

She has never really worked with people before, and it's weird, to say the least. She never considered herself a team player, but she is finding herself hating the idea less and less lately.

And she swears it has nothing to do with him. Not the fact that they are working together, and seeing his face first thing in the morning brings her a sense of calm that she quite can't explain. Or the fact that their rooms are next to each other and it makes her feel secure enough to finally get some rest at nights. Or that this whole arrangement has kept them on talking terms, when they had gone their own separate ways otherwise.

Nothing to do with that at all.

---

Humans are stupid, and the biggest evidence of this is how they decided that two extremely powerful Gods skilled at magic, enchantment, and defeating an evil extra dimensional cloud that swallows everything it touches, should be delegated to the role of research. "You're clever. You're good at reading people. You can put yourselves in the shoes of the bad guys, no offense", they said, but really, what they meant was, "We can't trust you out in the field much." She knows it, he knows it. She just doesn't know why he's complying.

That's how they find themselves researching every single day.

She likes to think he's not the only reason why she's studying in the library instead of in the comfort of her room, but that'd be a lie.

At first, he chooses to sit at a separate table. But she keeps going over to his to "get his opinion" on something in the file she's reading, and finally, he gives in. Their current arrangement consists of him sitting in the chair in front of her, to the left, prim and proper, while she hoists her feet up on the table.

He falls asleep on the desk one night, face smacked against a file, the tiniest bit of drool forming at the corner of his mouth. It would be a hilarious sight, if her heart wasn't feeling what she can only describe as longing.

They should probably talk about it, like mature adults, but neither of them know how to do that.

All she can do right now is gather the courage to run her fingers through his hair. The touch is hesitant at first, as if one wrong move would make him wake up and push her back to square one. Slowly, she relaxes, letting her fingers dance on his scalp.

He stirs in his sleep. "Please Sif. I'm sorry. Don't cut off my glorious locks, please."

Now this is a story she must hear when things are better.

If things are better.

---

Doctor Strange joins them very briefly, very rarely, but the tension between him and Loki is hard to miss. It's worse than the current situation with her, and that's saying something.

"You don't really like Stephen, do you?"

Something inside him seems to shift, but he masks it behind a non-chalant look immediately and just arches an eyebrow at her. "He's Stephen now, is he?"

"Well, that is his name." She shrugs. "What do you call him?"

"Strange", he spits the word out with an amount of irritation that indicates there definitely is a story there. "That is his name", he mimics.

She can't help the smirk that spreads across her lips. "What did he do to you?"

"Nothing", he lies, ignoring the horrifying flashbacks of thirty minutes of endless falling. Not a single soul must ever know a mere human got the best of him. "What can he do to me? I'm a God among those mortals. He just irks me because he is so pompous, and arrogant, and he ceaselessly uses magic to toy with others."

She pretends to think deeply. "Now where have I seen that before?"

He scoffs. "You mock me, but I am nothing like him. For one, I am not rude."

"He seems fine to me", she declares decisively.

It's the first time in months that he gives her a cheeky grin. "That's because you're rude too."

---

They are still just containing the threats to their world, instead of finding a way to fortify the barriers between worlds and stop the threats from coming.

"Shouldn't we have a plan to seal off the other worlds from ours?" She asks him one day.

"They are working on it." He tells her, and then with a look of worry, adds, "I hope."

There are debates on what to do at the Avengers tower and at the TVA. Nobody seems to agree on what the best course of action is, but everyone seems to be following the general instructions of Doctor Strange.

During one such meeting, a Minuteman makes the mistake of voicing out loud how she wondered if things would be better if they were running according to their old boss's plans.

Sylvie feels the guilt wash over her once more.

"No", Loki tells them all firmly. The determination in his voice takes her completely by surprise. "Evil is evil. Lesser, greater, middling, makes no difference. The degree is arbitrary. The definition’s blurred." She catches him steal a glance at her direction. "We couldn't have left a dictator in charge just because it's convenient. Listen, I'm the bad guy. I've done horrible, unspeakable things. I thought humans needed to be ruled. I wanted to rule. But even I know that it's not right to take away a person's life completely. These are innocent people. You are innocent people. You have families back home, parents, children", a pause and a softening of his features, "-love. A whole past, a whole future. That man had no right to take it away from you."

His powers of persuasion are foreign to her, and it's mesmerizing to watch. Her enchantments cannot hold a candle to how he is able to just talk people into doing what he wants, thinking what he thinks, seeing what he sees.

"He who remains had a plan. One, singular plan, from one, singular man." There is absolute conviction in his voice. "It's not the only way. We'll find another way. A better way."

She has never known what it is like to have someone see you for who you are- broken and flawed, and defend you- even your well-intentioned actions that yielded different results than what you expected and hurt them in the process. She suspects it has been the same for him, a lifetime of not having anyone have his back.

The warm feeling inside her is brand new. What is the name of this? Comfort? Relief?

Happiness?

---

This will be their first time out in the field in a long time, and she feels a little sick to the stomach.

He notices. "Are you alright?"

The concern in his voice tugs at her heartstrings. She nods. She has faced way worse, she shouldn't be so nervous about this, but she is. "I've never done this before."

"We can always just kill him and blame it on the Chitauris", he suggests with a serious face.

"I heard that", Peter yells from the other room, where he is doing whatever it is that teenagers do to prepare for battle.

She shakes her head in disbelief. "I can't believe we're babysitting."

"I've done this before", he assures her, and it surprises her to picture him being entrusted with such a serious task. "The trick is to conjure up illusions that keep them distracted enough to not cry."

She laughs. "You're thinking of infants. This one is a little older."

"I'm over a thousand years old, Sylvie. They're all infants to me."

Peter joins them, mask covering his face so that he doesn't reveal his identity. "So what do I call you? Loki and Loki? That's confusing. How about Loki and Lady Loki? Or is that offensive? I'm not suggesting women are inferior, because they're absolutely not..."

"Does he come with an off switch?" She whispers in horror as Peter rambles on.

Loki grins. With one wave of his hand and a flash of green, Peter's own webbing shoots out and seals his mouth shut.

---

Things are fine but not fine at the same time. He's right there beside her, but not there at all. They have their banters, they have their stolen glances, but they haven't had a meaningful conversation since that first day when she got back. She's been putting it off for a long time, but she knows they really do need to have the talk.

She corners him in his room one evening while he's tinkering with a temporal collar. She takes a seat in the chair next to his bed and rests her hand on the table, leaning her head against her palm, before switching position and crossing her arms and legs. Everything about her posture screams uneasiness. If he notices- he probably does- he doesn't say anything.

"You defended me that day."

He briefly looks up from the task at hand and gives her a soft smile. "Of course."

She blinks. "I don't understand." Her hands involuntary rise up to rub her temples. "If you can justify my actions to them, then how can you still be mad at me?"

"I'm not mad at you", he says without missing a beat.

"Rubbish", her words come out angrier than she intended. This frustration is the result of the months of status quo they have had. She has to know now, one way or the other. "You're distant. You're guarded", she accuses. Then her voice breaks, as she feels a part of her break all over again with her next words. "You don't hold my hand. Why? Tell me."

He abandons the collar and focuses his full attention on her. Staring straight into her eyes, he answers her. "You know why."

"I wouldn't be asking if I did. Look, if it's because I chose the mission over you-"

"-Of course it's not that." He says decisively. Then a sad smile clouds his face. It's the same look he had when she accused him of conning her to gain the throne. "Do you think I'm the type of man who would want a woman to abandon her life-long ambitions just because she has met someone?"

She knows he isn't. But it still doesn't answer why he is so cross with her. "What is it then?"

He pauses for a moment, trying to decide whether he wants to bare his soul out to her once more or not. There are two ways he can go from here- choose to not let her in again and save himself from the hurt, or trust her again and open himself up to potential pain.

Who is he kidding? Pushing her away- keeping her away- doesn't hurt any less.

There were a thousand things that had to go wrong to bring two Lokis from two universes together. A connection like that, it doesn't just happen.

And it doesn't just go away. The pain is constant, it's a part of him, pounding like a second heart every second he has to stop himself from reaching out for her hand.

This has to come to an end.

He takes in a deep breath, bracing himself. "You didn't have to send me away, Sylvie. I wanted to stop you from making the same mistakes I did. But in the end, I didn't care what you chose. I just wanted us to do it together."

She never even imagined this could be the reason for his hurt. All these months spent thinking he hates her for her choices, and now it turns out he is hurt simply because she chose to do it alone? "I'm sorry." She says sincerely. "I just wanted you to be safe."

"And I just wanted to be there with you till the end." He confesses. His eyes shimmer with the emotions he has kept bottled in for so long. "You go, I go."

She doesn't know what to say to that. She has never been good at articulating her feelings. Tears stream down her cheeks at the realisation that even after everything, he is still there for her.

She didn't cry even back at Lamentis when they thought they were going to die. She doesn't let anyone see her cry when she is sad or scared. That's all she has known her whole life. She's used to it by now.

This is new. These are tears of relief. Comfort.

Happiness.

Tentatively, she crosses over to the bed and sits by his side.

It's quiet for a few minutes. But unlike the months of tension so thick she could cut it into splices with her daggers, this is comfortable silence. The kind they had before it all went wrong.

"Did you even miss me?" He whispers.

"What kind of silly question is that? Of course I did." Her shaking hands grab his, and oh how she missed this.

He intertwines their fingers. His eyes draw closed. Bliss. That's the only word for this feeling.

He opens his eyes again and studies her. She's staring back at him, teary-eyed, but with a hopeful smile. "Really? Because you have a really unique way of showing it. You didn't even come looking for me."

"I didn't know how to face you", she tells him honestly. No tricks, no enchantment, no treachery. Not with him. "I didn't know if you even wanted to see me." Her voice grows quieter, dropping to a timbre that perfectly encapsulates her deepest fear. "I thought you hated me."

"Hate you?" He is shocked that she thinks that is even possible, specially after seeing him these last few months. "Sylvie, I'm working with the Avengers. The Avengers. Do you know how much I hate them? They are my nemesis. They're self-righteous, condescending, and so completely dull. Every second with them makes me want to rip their hearts out. Why do you think I'm here with them?"

She thinks she knows. But she needs to hear it anyway.

"It's because of you." He lays it all out on the table. All cards on deck, win or lose. "You've been running away. I have been the one who has been here, trying to hold down the fort, working to fix everything. Because that is what one does when one loves-"

Shit. The word slips out before he realises it.

Their eyes go wide in unison.

"Sylvie, I-"

"-Don't you dare take it back now." She warns him. "I-" She doesn't know how to say it either. They make such a great pair, both equally daft at saying how they feel, like they are teenagers, not Gods who have lived for centuries. "I've been running because I didn't think I could bear the burden of knowing I found you and then I lost you. I don't want to lose you. Not now, not ever."

He kisses the back of her hand, before letting it go. He cups her face, gently caressing her cheeks with his thumbs. "I don't want to lose you either."

She leans in closer, until their foreheads touch. She can feel his breath on her face, warm and soft. That is exactly how she feels inside. "You won't", she promises. "You go, I go."

---

(Quote on Lesser Evil from The Witcher. Thanks for reading!!)

#fanfiction #fanfic #loki #loki disney+ #loki x sylvie #sylki #sylvie laufeydottir #sylvie x loki #pro sylki

[alexhandersen-marcoilsoe-fandom]

Chapter IV: New limits

The moodboard-goddess @flowers-in-your-hayr​ is such a talent. Thank you soo much!

a/n: To those who like BDSM, this is your chapter! The same as always, english is not my first language, so sorry for mistakes.

Pairing: ALEX x Reader x MARCO

Words: 2336

Spotify: Kiana Ledé & Jacquees - Only Fan

Warning: +18, NSFW, smut, soft BDSM, threesome

Summary: You plunge into a new life. This courage makes you do far more than you thought.

Chapter I          Chapter II          Chapter III

Almost five months passed, and you haven't seen Alex yet. At first it was planned that he would come to visit you, but he had a few shoots and no time to make a stopover at your place. Ana has broken off contact with Marco and got back together with her ex-boyfriend. The distance has burdened her.

You got a unplanned spring break and decided to fly to Denmark and surprise Alex. You knew he would be home either the same day or the next day. In the worst case scenario, you would just sit in front of the front door and wait for him or Marco to come home.

You packed your things and took the train to the airport. Your flight was delayed, and you got to their home at almost 10pm. You stood in front of the door and didn't dare to ring the bell; your legs were shaking so badly that you could not stand up straight.

Alex opened the door and you hand him the food."Did someone order sushi?" 

,,What?!!’’ Alex was stunned, his chin dropped. 

,, Is this real? No way elskede, this can't be true!!''. You jumped at him and he almost fell over. He was overjoyed and couldn't stop kissing you.

"Maarco! Come here, see who's here!” Yelled Alex. Marco came out of the bathroom and only had his shorts on.

,, Heeej, what are you doing here?! You are crazy, girl. So good to see you'' He grinned and shook his head. You were surprised because he had no intention of hugging you. You saw someone get up from the sofa. A beautiful blonde looked at you with a smiling face.

,, Hi, I'm Clara''. Her short pants and crop top showed more of her body than you would have liked. You looked at Marco and he immediately felt uncomfortable.

“This is a good friend of Marco. And she's my girlfriend Y / N'' Alex pointed to you. You nodded to her and said ,,Hi’’ without any emotions. You wanted her to know that you would never become friends.

Alex helped you put your things in his closet and brought the food into the kitchen. You knew that sushi was his favorite food. He asked you to sit down and served you a glass of wine. 

"Thank you so much for the sushi, I love it! So tell me, how long are you going to stay?" Marco heard the question and looked directly in your direction.

,,Ehm…I have to tell you something. I was actually thinking of moving here. I have already enrolled in a Danish course. And I will start working here in the hospital in two months’’. You told him that you quit your apartment and registered yourself in Copenhagen.

"So even if you don't want me here, I'll stay in Copenhagen" did you comment at the end. Alex was impressed by your initiative. 

,,You didn't have to fly back the last time and you know that’’

"But don't worry, I'll find my own apartment as soon as possible and then move out."

"I don't think so, but we'll talk about that later" insisted Alex.

It was late and you were tired, you put the empty glass of wine in the kitchen and took a shower. The shower was at the end of the long corridor, so you had to walk past the guest room and Marco's room. You forgot your bathrobe in the room, so you wrapped the bath towel around you and ran back. The towel was too small so you hoped that nobody would notice. Alex was already waiting for you.

Suddenly someone grabbed your wrist and pulled you back. 

"Wait!" Marco pushed your hair aside with his nose and kissed the back of your neck. 

"I missed you baby". You turned around but he was holding your hand so tight that you couldn't run away.

"NO" you said quietly in a rough tone. Marco put his hand under your bathrobe and pulled you closer to him. 

"You are so hot baby", you rejected his kiss.

"Let go of my arm Marco!" He noticed you said it seriously and he let you go.

                                                      **********

,,You don't know how I missed you, that was an agony. I couldn't even talk to you that much on the phone properly because of all your shifts.’’ Alex complained. 

You actually wanted to ask him if he's kidding you like Marco. Marco promised to wait for you and in the end he didn't do it, but you couldn't because Alex didn't know anything about your sex, so you quickly forgot about it.

You were so horny, such a long time without a man in your bed. You were already tired of satisfying yourself. You couldn't wait any longer and dropped your bath towel. You sat on him and put his hands on your ass. You could feel that his cock was already hard. You rubbed it with your pussy and pushed his underpants down so that his cock jumped out. You took it in your hand and slowly shoved it into your pussy. You had to ride him slowly at the beginning because it hurt you a little. Alex looked up at you and closed his eyes. You could see he was enjoying that.

"Moan my name" he followed your command. 

,,Louder!’’. you wanted Marco to hear it. You felt a heat inside you, that made you cum. You breathed into his mouth and felt this magnetism between you. Seeing your pleasured face made him even more horny. He climaxed and bit your chin. 

Alex had to go to set early the next day, so you fell asleep quickly afterwards.

                                                          *********

In the morning you didn't even notice that he had already left. The apartment was very quiet, and you didn't see anyone. You were glad you didn't have to see this chick. You took your coffee and enjoyed the morning sunshine on the balcony. The sun's rays covered the cold, so you could keep your lace-trimmed nightgown on. 

,,You don't know how happy I am to see you again baby I missed the smell of your skin so much.’’ Marco had his face right next to your neck and smelled your hair. You pushed him away. 

“What do you mean, you missed me. You found a barbie who takes care of you.You couldn't miss me. You are such a liar. Don't you dare touch me again.’’You yelled at him and turned away from him. He held you back on your forearm so you couldn't go away. 

"Hey, listen, I went crazy, I thought you'd never come back. You always spoke to Alex on the phone and never asked for me. What should I have done? I've already broken up with her. She won't come back.’’ 

You were so close to his lips, you knew it wouldn't stop at a kiss, so you didn't dare. You were hoping he would make this decision for you. Marco grabbed your ass, lifted you up carried you into the apartment. You couldn't resist him. He was very dominant with you in contrast to Alex. He put your panties aside and stroked your clit, you were already wet. Your legs were around his waist, until his cock found his way in your pussy.

,,Baby harder’’ You wanted him to be rougher. It made the whole thing more intense. Beeing discovered by alex was like a thrill for you. His hips smacked against your thights. Marco knew exactly when to act harsh to let you cum.

The mood after sex was intimate, as if you had known each other for years, it gave you a feeling of security. 

                                                      ************

When you went home in the afternoon after the Danish course, both were sitting at home and playing video games. You sat between them, but they paid no attention to you. So, you got up again and went to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

"I'll help you," said Alex to you and took the knife away from you. You took the chance and took a shower.

"Ouch, I cut myself. Where's my nurse?! '' Alex wanted you to look at the wound. You had to grin because the cut was barely visible. 

"You have to kiss it for it to heal." and held out his finger to you. You looked him in the eyes and your tongue ran all over his finger. You felt how it made him horny. You sucked his finger and then let his hand slip under your bra, so he could feel your hard nipples. Marco was still sitting on the couch, but could exactly hear what was going on.

,, I have a surprise for you’’.  Alex blindfolded you and took you into a room. You took small steps because you were afraid of falling or running into a wall. 

,,Come on elskede, trust me.” He put his hands on your shoulders and pushed you down. You lay on the bed with your legs bent. Shortly afterwards you heard a "click" on your wrists. 

He slowly marked a trail of kisses, while you were tied to bed, just before your pussy he stopped.

"Do you like it?" it was Marco's voice and you were briefly confused. After he kissed you, you knew perfectly well that it was him. Your tongues pressed together in a hot openmouthed kiss. He pulled off your blindfold and you saw both lying next to you. Alex had already taken off his clothes and only had his pants on.

“I told him about us. I told him what we did in the disco and about sex in the morning.” You were shocked and scared of Alex's reaction. You knew it had to be said, but you weren't prepared at all.

,,We don't want to intimidate you, but we could both make you happy.'' said Marco. You looked shyly at Alex, but couldn't see any emotions on his face.

,, I knew you guys like each other, Marco eyefucks you all the time. I knew you had sex, because you rejected me even though I had fingered you in the disco shortly before.” added Alex.

,,You can think about it and then let us know. We won't force you.’’

Alex wanted to free you from the handcuffs, as you yelled.

,,No, don't!”, you searched for eye contact.

,, Come closer...’’ you whispered. ,,You are too nice to me guys. I know exactly how much you like having rough sex. So, let's stop pretending to like it gently.” 

Marco sat at the foot of the bed, you knew he liked doggy style, so you turned around and pressed your ass towards him. He squeezed your ass cheeks and could see your pussy while doing it. He caressed your already wet pussy and shoved his cock in. It made you moan loudly. You liked that feeling of being dominated and they liked it even more. Marco put his hand around your neck and pulled your head towards his chest. You could hear his fast breathing. 

"I've wanted to do this for a long time, why did you keep me waiting so long for this…Look at Alex and tell him how much you like to be fucked hard, you nasty girl.” 

Alex sat in the corner of the room on an armchair. He was hearing your clapping cheeks and rubbed his cock.

“Please fuck me harder Marco“, you’ve never seen Alex so horny. 

He got up and approached you. His big hand touched your soft neck and choked you. He did it very gently so that you could breathe easily, he was rather shy. His tongue slided soft over your upper lip. You wanted to kiss him but he refused.

,,You won’t decide what we'll do” and wagged his finger. 

,,Let's turn her over!’’ he said. They talked about you like you weren't there. 

Alex released the handcuffs from the bed but left them on your wrists. Marco put your legs on his shoulders so that he could penetrate you deeper. Alex knelt down to you and stroked your mouth with his cock. He had your arms trapped between his thighs. They grinned at each other and focused on you again. You were like on fire. Your pussy pulsed and your climax came closer and closer. You looked at Alex who was close to your face.

,,Can I cum? " Your hands sank into the sheets and you couldn't wait any longer.

,,Let it happen elskede” He gave you a gentle kiss and bit your lower lip. He saw you cumming and jerked off on your breasts, your spread it over your nipple and licked your finger clean. Marco moaned loud in your ear, you felt how the sperm ran out of your pussy. 

"Tak baby”, muttered Marco while smooched your neck.

 They both got off you and sat down on the edge of the bed.

"Are you okay?" and released your handcuffs.

“I feel better than ever. Don't worry guys, you didn't hurt me and you never will.

" You stood up und walked into the bathroom.

,,Do you sleep in my bed tonight? I would be happy about that” Marco called after you.

,,I think I will settle in the guest room if you both agree. I can start work earlier than planned and it would be easier for me if I have my own room”

,,That’s not a problem for me, but i will sneak into your room if i want a kiss” said Alex with a wink.

,,All right, no problem, good night and wake me up tomorrow” said Marco a little disappointed.

,,Good night guys and thank you for letting me live here” and closed the door behind you.

 Chapter V: Inopportune moment!

#marco ilsø #marc x reader #alex høgh andersen #alex x reader #alex høgh #alex x reader x marco #vikings #imaginevikings #smut #marco x reader #hvitserk #hvitserk x reader #ivar x reader #ivar the boneless #history vikings #vikings ivar #vikings hvitserk

[funkyness]

Ok idk if this is anything you’d have advice for, no pressure... I want to challenge my friends and acquaintances to stop reading someone’s gender from their appearance — to admit in every way we DON’T KNOW unless we ask/find out in context of how people who know them relate/know them already. Whether it’s going by dress or mannerisms, or worse “clocking” by ultimately cissexist “biological” traits like “adams apple” or “large breast tissue” or not.... you actually don’t know. Every time I see a video distribution and an absolute stranger in the background, someone totally impossible for the captioner to know, is called “woman” or “man” I’ve got to cringe. It’s bioessentialist terf behavior even if that’s not the intent.

So that’s my opinion and I’m pretty certain of it. The harder part is how to express it to people including friends or coworkers. That it feels literally the same as someone misgendering me for someone to clearly enact coercively assigning gender in front of me, to anyone, even some person you’re talking about you saw crossing the street. But it’s like, nobody I’ve tried to discuss this with cares so far. And I don’t want to be pushy. And I haven’t yet said it basically is misgendering to me because I don’t want to make it about my feelings when really it’s about what’s true and not cissexist. But I’m close to it. It’s also ducked up how I only ever see the random unknown person get called “person” “they/them” I’d it’s someone nonconformist to what their assigned gender at birth looks like. What does that say? It’s basically saying you think you “clocked” their agab enough to know they’re gnc to it and therefore assuming they’re nb or genderqueer, and assigning that default to them rather than saying man or woman. Meanwhile if you saw them as clearly performing femininity you’d say she/her and masculinity he/him. This is clearly remaking the binary and enforcing a new type of cissexism but seeming to be queer friendly about it. And it really is the default behavior I’ve seen, from allies and LGBTQ alike.

Any creative, pithier ways to talk about this??? I’m not good at being concise, really. Or persuasive outside of listing facts.

it's complex.

Yeah, we don't want the "the teacher didn't ask anyone their pronouns until they got to me, the clearly trans/gnc student" because that's just putting us on the spotlight for no reason.

in this case i think the best thing to do is to lead by example. use neutral language in conversation, ask people their pronouns, etc. you can go the extra way and have these conversations with family and friends about it over and over again, but that just seems like a way to burn yourself out. i do not believe that it is possible to completely avoid gendering people in our current system.

as a nonbinary person I've come to accept that i will never be gendered correctly at first (and a lot of non passing binary trans people know the feeling as well). it's not great, but the most important part is that people are willing to correct themselves and use the right pronouns in the future.

when it comes dead people, i think it's best to just go with what they identified as in life. i don't see why you would misgender someone in death just because they might have preferred different pronouns. we'll never know.

#answers #idk i try not to think about this because it's depressing

[faofinn]

BTHB - Anger Born of Worry

When Fao left on tour, he seemed to take most of Harrison’s sense and stability with him. The younger wolf began causing issues almost immediately, quickly squaring up to Sheila and Fred. Even Steve couldn’t control him, or his wolf.

After a particularly vicious moon, leaving both Harrison and Fred bruised and sore, things took a turn for the worse. He’d started on Finn, rounding on him over breakfast. They’d scrapped over nothing, Finn ending up landing on the floor rather roughly. He’d yelped immediately, scrambling away as he tried to protect himself. Still, Harrison didn’t stop.

The Daniels were furious, struggling to believe Harrison would do that to Finn, the kid he’d always adored. He was kicked out, the rest of the pack watching him as he collected his belongings. It was clear he wasn’t welcome.

Theo took him in, let him crash on his sofa while Steve patched Finn up - while he’d done what he could at the clinic, but it was clear he needed their hospital. Harrison, being bigger and more prepared, hadn’t fared too badly; a few cuts and scrapes that would heal soon enough.

While Theo’s offer was kind, Harrison couldn’t stay. He wasn’t sure if it was couldn’t or wouldn’t, but either way, he had to go. He left notes, an apology to Finn and then the Daniels, a few notes he’d saved up included to pay for the broken plates and chairs; another to Steve, for taking the chance on him and him screwing it all up, like he always did; one for Theo, a quick explanation and a (polite) request to not throw his stuff out, not that he deserved it; and finally, one for Fao. He wasn’t sure if it was a plead for him to come home safely, or an apology for everything he’d ever done. A love letter of sorts, things he’d never say out loud, but since he wasn’t coming back, that didn’t matter. Fao might as well know.

He waited until Theo had gone to bed, the older man offering to stay up and chat, sensing something was off. He’d declined, lied until he was left alone. Despite the other wolf trying to wait up, he’d drifted off, giving Harrison his opportunity.

He’d taken food from his cupboards - old stuff, nearly out of date, things he’d heard Theo complain about. It wasn’t like Harrison to just take charity, so he left some money too, under his letter of apology. With nothing left to do, he shouldered his backpack, shoved his rolled duvet under his arm and slipped out into the night.

When Theo woke and found Harison gone, he called everyone he knew, panic clear in his words. Nobody had seen or heard from him. And then, he found the letters.

The pack was out searching as soon as Theo raised the alarm - Harrison was still part of the pack, even after his actions. Everyone was distraught, worried about him - it wasn’t the first time he’d ran off, but everything felt wrong. His letters held too much finality, too much goodbye.

When Fao came back from his tour, it was to the family and the pack in chaos. Harrison missing was worrying, and the letter Fao read made his stomach twist. He was exhausted, just come back from war, but he threw himself into searching. Of course, after he'd spent some time with Finn. Something about what Harrison had said in his letter sent Fao searching further afield than he usually would. He spent days scouring the woods as wolf, sleeping under bushes despite the cold and wind. He clung to every hint of a scent, desperate to find him.

Haarrison kept his distance, travelled North. He’d never been far from London, only ever travelling to the south coast on the ‘family’ holidays he’d had. There was nothing for him in the north, but that was part of the (pull) of it. He wasted most of his money on hotels, trying his best to find somewhere to stay out of the cold and rain. There wasn’t much he could do; he couldn’t work, had to be careful where he left his leg when he shifted too. He did his best to hide his scent, to keep the pack from finding him, not that they’d be looking for him anyway.

The food was gone quickly too, despite his attempt to ration and hunt when he could. The idea of fish had quickly grown stale, rabbit and pigeon following suit.

He didn’t dare to beg, though would often find some safety in sleeping in doorways in city centres, his duvet wrapped tight around him. He was caught out a few times too, woken up to someone trying to rob him and beat him up. Bloody lip and bruised eyes left him more suspicious, made him sit awake at night. His black eyes grew into dark bags under his eyes, his tiredness past exhaustion.

With the days slightly warmer, more crowds flocked to the streets. His usual sleeping places disturbed by foot traffic and prying eyes. As much as he tried to sleep during the day, every instinct in him begged him to keep moving, to try and evade any search efforts that might still be going on. After all, he’d caused so much trouble within the pack, they’d surely still be out for blood.

It took Fao a long while to even get close to finding him. But his letter kept him going, scanning over each word to try and find any hint of where he was. It took him much further North than he expected. He lost the scent, and had pretty much given up as he headed into the town, very much human, in search of a hotel room to stay in and get cleaned up. But then he caught a scent again, and whilst he couldn’t be sure, it certainly seemed like him.

And there, curled up in a shop doorway, was Harrison. He was curled under a filthy duvet, and he smelled sick, but it was him.

Fao stopped dead.

“Harrison? Tomcat?”

He didn’t move at first. There was no way Fao had found him, not this far away. He sniffed quietly. Well, shit. Not one to give up, he pulled the duvet further over his head, trying to hide.

“Harrison?”

“No.”

“It’s only me.”

He sat up slowly, breathing deeply as he tried to check if it really was just Fao. The others wouldn't be too far away. “Fao.”

“Hey, stranger.”

“What do you want?” He got stiffly to his feet, backed in the corner.

“Wanted to find you. Came back from tour and you’d gone.”

“Yeah.”

“I've missed you, Tomcat.”

“So what have you come to do?”

“Came to find you. Your letter… Well, I…”

“I said what I said.”

“I was scared I'd lose you.”

“I’m not coming back.” He frowned. “If you’re going to kill me, just get it over with.”

“I'm not gonna kill you, don't be daft.” Fao said. “But I swear I've been wolf for like a week, I was gonna get a hotel room, grab a shower and some food? Wanna come?”

“So you can tell the others where I am so they can get me? Yeah, sure.”

“They don't know I'm here, and I'm not going to tell them. I won't tell them I've found you, if you'd rather not. But nobody wants to kill you.”

“Of course they do.”

“They don't, Hars. They're all really worried about you.”

He shook his head with a bark of a laugh. "Don't be daft."

“They are. Sheila's a wreck.”

“She hates me.”

“She doesn’t.”

“They’re not my pack any more.”

“They’re always going to be your pack, Hars.”

He scoffed. "They kicked me out. I deserved it."

“They told you to leave the house. That doesn't mean you're gone from the pack.”

“As good as.”

“Not at all.”

“I’ve said what I said, Fao. I’m not going back.” He squared his shoulders, clenched his jaw. “Just leave me alone.”

“Come on, let’s at least grab a shower, some hot food and sleep in a real bed tonight.”

He shook his head, though his heart desperately wanted to. “No, I’m not...I’ve got to go now.”

“No commitment. Have some food, a soft place to sleep. And then if you still want to walk away… I can’t stop you.”

“So you can kill me in my sleep.” He laughed drily or dryly whatever. “Yeah, sure.”

“You don’t trust me anymore?”

“I trust that pack will come before I do.”

“They’re not coming. I can’t even tell them, my phone is dead.”

“You can charge it.”

“Why would I tell them? I’m just here for you.”

“Because you all want me dead.”

“We don’t.”

He couldn;t allow himself the hope. “No.”

“I swear, tomcat. Swear on my life.”

Fao wouldn’t lie to him. “No, mate. It’s okay.”

“Come on, let’s get you warm and fed, eh?” Fao said, offering him a hand.

He flinched away; his back hit against stone and he groaned. “I’ve said no.”

Fao frowned, and stepped back. “I’m not going to hurt you.”

“I know, I know.” He wrapped an arm around his stomach, protecting himself. “I know.”

Fao dropped his gaze, wolf body language taking over by default. “I’m just here to help you.”

“Honest?”

“Honest. I wouldn't lie.”

He hesitated, almost giving in. “I’ve not got any money.”

“Let me worry about the money.”

“I’m not taking charity.”

“Do I look like a charity? You're family, shut up and let me take care of you, tomcat.”

"I'm not family." He spat.

“You are to me.” Fao said, folding his arms over his chest. “Don't snap at me.” His tone betrayed where he'd been for the past few months, a hangover from his tour.

"I'll do what I want."

Fao raised an eyebrow at him, but didn't say a word.

Harrison's lip curled. "What are you going to do?"

“Dunno. Figured I'd just wait for you to stop being an ass.

"I'm packing my shit and going." He all but snarled, starting to roll his duvet up.

“Okay. You want a hand?”

"Does it look like I want a hand?"

“Well, you seem to be making this a big thing. Bit dramatic if you ask me, all I did was offer you some food and a warm bed.”

"You only offered so you'd have the chance to hurt me."

“No I didn't. I don't want to hurt you.”

"You have to."

“No I don't.”

"An eye for an eye."

“Nobody cares about any of that crap.”

“Don’t lie.”

“I'm not lying.”

"I'll pay you back." He softened.

“If you want to.”

“I will.”

“Come on then. Food, a shower and sleep in a real bed.””

“I’ll sleep on the floor.” He said. “Nothing I’m not used to.”

“No, come on. We'll get you a good bed.”

He could fight it later. “Okay.”

Slowly, Fao offered Harrison his hand again. “Come on, then.”

Harrison shouldered his pack, then reached for Fao's hand. "Thank you."

“I've missed you.”

"Don't be daft."

“I really have!”

He didn't say anything. He still wasn't sure where he stood. There was no sign of ill intentions with Fao, but he couldn't be too careful.

Fao sighed, but didn't push it. Harrison was going to take time to trust him again. But he lead him to the hotel he'd planned on staying in, and managed to reserve a double room. They'd both have somewhere proper to sleep, hot water, and food that night and the next morning.

Harrison hesitated again. “Can I grab a shower?”

“Of course. You got some clean clothes?”

“Clean enough.”

“Grab some of mine, they're clean. And we can buy some more for you.”

“It’s fine. I can wash them in the sink.”

“No, Hars. We’ll get you some nice clothes.”

“I’ve got clothes.”

“Clean clothes.”

"They will be once I've washed them."

“Alright.”

“I told you,” he said gruffly. “I’m not taking charity.”

“I know. But there's a difference between pity and help.”

“And I don’t think you know the difference.”

“Of course I do.”

"Then stop pitying me."

“I'm not pitying you. I'm just trying to help.”

He scuffed his feet. "Feels a lot like pity."

“But Tomcat, you think anyone who's trying to help is pitying you.”

“Because it’s the same thing.”

“It's not.”

“No?” He raised an eyebrow. “Could have fooled me.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“How far is the hotel?”

“Not far.”

“I’ve had enough walking.”

“It's not too far. But I can carry some of your stuff?”

He jerked away. "It's mine."

“I'm not gonna take it. Thought it might just make the walk easier if you didn't have so much to carry.”

“I always have to carry it. Otherwise someone would nick it.”

“I'm not gonna nick it.”

"You might." He shrugged his backpack on again. "It's fine."

“Okay.” It hurt that Harrison didn't trust him any more, but he didn't know what else to do or say.

Harrison could sense the pain from Fao and he sighed. "It's filthy anyway, I'm better off carrying it."

“Whatever you're comfortable with.”

"Not fair on you."

“Not like I'm not fit.”

He huffed. "Yeah, that's true."

“So I'm happy to carry if you need it.”

"It's okay."

“Let’s get going, then.”

He sighed. “Yeah, sure.”

Fao led the way to the hotel, trying to keep a slow pace so Harrison didn't have to rush.

Harrison hesitated outside, turning to Fao. “They’ll kick me out again.”

“No they won't. They've been paid enough.”

“Still, they’ve seen the state of me.”

“You look fine, just a bit scuffed up.”

“I look homeless.”

“Well, Hars, I hate to break it to you, but you have been living on the streets.” Fao attempted to joke. “Come on, take my hoodie.” He pulled it over his head.

“You think I don’t know?” Harrison snapped at Fao.

“Sorry, sorry. Stupid joke. Come on, just take the hoodie, it’ll be alright. You’re clearly with me, so it’s fine.”

“And what about my shit?”

“I’ll carry it.”

“They won’t let you in.”

“Give it here, I’ll shove it in my bag?”

“Let me carry the bag though?”

“Sure, so long as you don’t break it.”

“I’m not going to.”

“Good.” Fao shrugged his bag off and rolled Harrison’s duvet and other crap up to shove it inside. “That’s alright?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” He swung it onto his back. “Thanks.”

“Let's go, then.”

“Right.” He nodded. “After you.”

Fao led the way inside, glancing back at Harrison to make sure he was still following.

"I'm not going to run off. Don't give me that look."

“But you thought about it.”

“No.” He lied.

Fao raised an eyebrow, but didn't say anything. They got inside, and spoke to the person at the desk. He shot them some slightly odd looks, but Fao spoke in a way that dared him to give them shit, and nothing was said. They were given keys, and directions to the room. They headed up, and Fao unlocked the door to let Harrison inside. “Here we go. Much better.”

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Do you wanna grab a shower?”

“Yes please.”

“Go on, then.”

He glanced at Fao before heading into the bathroom, backpack still on. “Won’t be long.”

“Harrison. My pack, please?”

“It’s got my stuff in.”

“Take your stuff out?”

“Fine.”

“Thanks.”

He shoved his pack towards Fao. “I’m getting a shower now.”

“Yeah, go ahead. Enjoy it.”

He headed back into the bathroom, dumping his stuff on the floor before stripping. He ran the water hot, used as much shampoo and bodywash as he could, and just stood under the stream. It was a stark difference from his previous attempts at a shower, a hurried wash in the mcdonalds toilets. After washing his hair and body, he slumped down, sliding until he was sat on the shower floor. His head in his hands, he let himself cry, all his emotions coming to a head.

Fao gave Harrison plenty of time in the shower. He deserved his privacy, and it was no doubt the first shower he'd had in far too long. He sorted through the other wolf's stuff, only to neatly fold it for now. He'd go through and wash it later for him. Even the duvet could be washed, he was sure. Of course he wanted to bring Harrison home, but if he chose to keep living this way, the best he could do was make him more comfortable.

Harrison eventually emerged from the bathroom, hair still dripping and a mess on his head. He was in slightly cleaner clothes, his others having also had a wash. When he saw Fao, his lip curled.

"I told you not to touch my stuff."

“I just folded them for you.” Fao said, guarded. “That way you can pick out what wants washing and if anything needs fixing. It didn't seem right, just leaving it in a pile on the floor. It's all there, you can check it for yourself."

"It's not yours to touch."

“Look, sorry. I was only trying to help.”

"I didn't ask for your help!" He shot back, his wavering voice betraying him. "I didn't ask for any of it."

“Look, I don't know what the fuck happened back home, I don't care, but I'm your pack and I'm your family and we help eachother out when we end up in the shit! I'm not long back from fucking Afghanistan, and yet here I am with you, because I'm not just going to walk past and leave you to suffer. So get your head out of your ass and just let me help, for fuck's sake. It's not pity, it's not charity, it's me helping a friend. And I'm sorry I touched your stuff, I am. But I was only trying to make your life easier!”

Harrison didn’t say anything, visibly shrinking back on himself, his lip trembling. He turned away, grabbing his clothes and stuffing them haphazardly into his bag.

Fao softened, and stepped back. He'd gone too far, he knew he had, but Harrison was just so frustrating. It didn't help just how worried he was about him.

“Look, Tomcat, I'm sorry…”

He shook his head, his wet clothes shoved on top. "Don't."

“Don't go. I'll leave you be, the room is yours. Don't have to see my stupid face. But take it, sleep in a real bed, eat real food. For your own health.”

"It's fine." He tried to slink past Fao. "I'm fine."

“No, Hars, you're not fine.”

"I am."

“You're so far from fine it hurts. I read your letter, I really thought I was never going to see you again. I thought I'd lost you. Please, don't go…”

He stopped, finally looking at Fao. "You weren't meant to find me."

“And yet I did.” Fao said, stepping closer. “Come on, don't throw it all in now.”

"I can't." He shook his head, clenched his jaw to try and stop the tears that threatened again. "It's already over."

Fao couldn't help himself, he pulled Harrison in for a hug, crushing him against his chest. “Oh, Tomcat, nothing is ever over.”

#Harrison #Fao Blackwood #whump #bthb card #whump prompt #Harrison is sad #anger born of worry #what immortal au #he's been homeless a While #bc he's a dick #harrison is having a bad day #tomcat and wolfie

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Savannah

Jac: [Before the parties would have started, aka the getting ready hours] Jac: What's the vibe in University Hall tonight then? Savannah: [a selfie of lowkey everyone getting ready together cos it's all girls] Jac: 👍 Looks like carnage Jac: don't lose your favourite 💄 Savannah: my ears hurt & I can't stop saying Americanisms Jac: 😂 Jac: Glad I'm not seeing you tonight Jac: almost Savannah: will you still love me tomorrow though? Jac: Even if you start saying like, totally and OH MY GOD at the beginning and end of all your sentences Savannah: I already do say OH MY GOD a lot Savannah: it's not very far to fall 😔 Jac: Fallen 👼🏾 Jac: as you missed out on Sinners Savannah: 😢 I'm sure Savannah: except not at all because I had a much better time with my 👼🏻 Jac: If the stories I've seen are anything to go by Jac: missed nothing but potential 💀💀 Jac: Sports people go so hard Savannah: I know Savannah: it's a definite no thank you from me, in like, every possible way Savannah: even if every 🤴🏻🤴🏼🤴🏽🤴🏾🤴🏿 here was there Jac: we're off 🏀⚽🏉🏑🥍🏏 boys for good Savannah: I swear to god, hit me with a 🏑or 🏏 if I consider it however briefly & however intoxicated Jac: make a pact with some OTT American girl tonight Jac: she'll banshee screech and keep 'em well away 'til I can Savannah: I'll just picture my dad's disapproving face Savannah: wait no, actually that would only spur me on Jac: Some of those girls HAVE to be cool Jac: not as cool as me, obviously Jac: but you should have fun with them 🚫 boys allowed Savannah: I don't know what to wear & it's upsetting me greatly Savannah: none of these girls understand that telling me I look amazing in anything/everything hanging up is NOT what I need to hear Savannah: obviously I do, that's why I purchased & packed it Jac: They aren't lying but they aren't being helpful Jac: send me the options Jac: you wanna get the mood right Savannah: can't we just get ready together? I PROMISE I'll shut my door on you as soon as we're done Jac: I don't know if my ❤ can handle that, babe Savannah: okay, I'll shut the door on you at the last possible second Jac: You know exactly how hard I find it saying no to you, don't you? Savannah: but if you want to say no, you can Savannah: I just know that you don't want to Jac: Give me a sec Jac: I'll convince it's the fashion emergency it is Savannah: 😊 Savannah: the real fashion emergency is that nobody is allowed to touch your hair but me Jac: The girl across from me does have full intentions to straighten it so Jac: wish me 🍀 Savannah: 😠 Savannah: she better step back Savannah: what protection is she intending to use? I think not Jac: You're the cutest ever Savannah: You have perfect natural texture, can she not see that? Jac: She must not see me how you do Jac: but I'm okay with that Savannah: Well, I've got my eye on her now Savannah: if Catholic school taught me anything it's that 🙏🏾 doesn't work so I won't be wishing you luck, I'll be taking hair styling action Jac: I thought you were going to say something about it teaching you how to fuck up other girls Jac: but you're much too ladylike and 👼🏾 for that Savannah: Oh honey, I knew how to do that before I got there Jac: Very true Jac: I remember Jac: we were kind of a bit terrible, weren't we? Savannah: I remember us being young & bored Savannah: so maybe we did some terrible things Savannah: but we're trying to do & be better now Jac: Works for me Jac: though I was considerably less bored when you were there Savannah: me too, of course Savannah: & maybe I was still doing terrible things at 18, which is less young, but I was also in Sligo so I feel like allowances have to be made Jac: Boredom increased as well as age Jac: it's allowed Savannah: heartbreak increased too Savannah: I can't be held responsible for what I do when I miss you that much Jac: It's too soon to make the 'and who' joke about your ex but it's something young and bored me would say so, feels right to honour past us by mentioning it Savannah: 😄 Savannah: he honourably gave me all summer to get over him, it's fine Jac: You were with him the whole two years, yeah? Savannah: yes Jac: thought so Jac: I could never stand anyone longer than a few weeks Savannah: I'm not sure I could honestly stand him longer than that Jac: Is it a security thing? Jac: keeping him around, despite that Savannah: If I was a lecture topic that would be one of the bullet points undeniably Jac: 'Course, sorry Jac: it's all the ❤ talk going on Jac: they'll be over it once this week is Savannah: I didn't mean it like that, I mean that like I wish I could pinpoint the exact reason Savannah: but there isn't just one, I guess Jac: It's cool, I also didn't mean to be a downer so we don't need to bulletpoint or pinpoint either Jac: lectures haven't started yet, just excited for that, obviously 🤓 Jac: you're not easy to commit to paper, to logic and rationale Jac: that's why I like you Savannah: you could never be, I'm so happy whenever I'm with you Savannah: & I'm even happier you're so excited because me too, of course Savannah: I know I'm very illogical & irrational, I'm the happiest that you like me in spite of it Jac: 🥰🥰🥰 Jac: Freshers has, obviously, been better than I had imagined it could be Jac: but that's almost entirely because of you Jac: I wanna get going now, with the actual course, what we're here to do Jac: though I want this time to last forever, so, conflicted but Savannah: I've changed my mind, I think I'm the happiest actually that none of these girls can see me 😳 because of you Savannah: I feel the same way though, about all of it Jac: I promise I won't embarrass you in front of your dormies Jac: even though I like it when you 😳 best of all Savannah: You could literally never do that either Savannah: none of them are anything like you to the point that I feel sad for them Savannah: because you're perfect Jac: You're the most incredible person I've ever met Jac: we're special together Savannah: you're special without me Savannah: but I'm not leaving you ever again Jac: I love you so much Savannah: I love you too Jac: [leaving it a long-ish time for them aka 10 minutes or something] Jac: I am free, and omw Savannah: Thank GOD Savannah: I thought you were going to say you weren't coming Jac: No way Jac: my room is on the top floor, so I kept getting stopped on every level 🙄 Savannah: At least I know that girl wouldn't have been able to straighten your hair in that amount of time Jac: unless she was just gonna do the top layer and then I'd look like a 🌲 Jac: but that did not happen, thank GOD Savannah: Don't even Savannah: I would cry Jac: Me too Jac: not that there's anyone I really wanna impress, also don't want or need the potential nicknames that would come from that non-look Savannah: Baby, I would never let anyone tease you, or you leave her with a non look Savannah: I could & would fix it in spite of my overwhelming sadness Jac: Dry those eyes Jac: only ten minutes away and not looking like a shrub Savannah: 🥰 Jac: This walk takes longer going to see you than it does coming back Savannah: I miss you too Jac: 😳 Savannah: that's also how I'll look when you see me like this Jac: Come on Jac: you're perfect Jac: we just need to find an outfit as equally so for tonight Savannah: It's not the outfit, it's my insane nerves Jac: What are you nervous about? Savannah: This isn't like our psych night, you know, what do I have in common with any of these girls? Potentially nothing Savannah: I'm having catholic school flashbacks Jac: I get you Jac: think of it as less about making friends, and more about making decent neighbours Jac: the people on our course, we'll be seeing the full four years, the people in our dorms, it could just be this year, 'cos we'll all move next Jac: don't put too much pressure on yourself Savannah: I don't wanna do it but I can't be the girl who doesn't get involved, that would actually be crazy Savannah: you're right, I know that you're right Jac: I don't either Jac: if it had to compete with a night with you, no chance Jac: we'll give it a solid hour, and if it's truly awful, then we'll just hole ourselves up in one of our rooms and hide Savannah: okay Jac: but it won't be Jac: everyone will love you Savannah: I don't want everyone to love me, just you Jac: then they can admire you respectfully from afar Savannah: 👸🏽 Jac: I hear the American girls are loaded Jac: I bet they have loads of 🔥 makeup and clothes to borrow Savannah: the skincare would make my auntie 😢 Jac: wonder if there's any princesses Savannah: I'll find out Savannah: maybe not tonight but eventually Jac: you won't run away with her Jac: even if the skincare is beyond 💣 Savannah: I'll run away with the skincare Savannah: to you Jac: ❤ Jac: loml Savannah: ☺️ Savannah: It would be SO typical if the loudest brashest girl in this dorm who I already can't stand was royalty of some kind Jac: I think I saw her on my way out yesterday Jac: you'll have to point her out Savannah: You definitely heard her, I swear she's woke me every morning so far Jac: Ugh Jac: need to think of a way to 😶 her Savannah: I will be stealing her skincare because I'm BEYOND sleep deprived Savannah: What did you do when you had to share with Jude? Jac: military grade headphones Jac: but ignoring her makes her 😠 so it was one of the only joys I had too, like Savannah: Then I won't be able to hear all the secrets you spill in your sleep, she's not taking that possible joy from me Jac: 😨 Jac: ?! Savannah: I remember one of the first times I slept over, we had a full conversation because I asked if you were awake and you answered yes & asked me if I was okay, which was so sweet by the way, & I didn't realise that you were actually still asleep until after I'd told you everything Savannah: that's the only reason I'm hoping for secrets 😄 Savannah: you don't ever tell me anything scandalous, you're just an 👼🏻 who always tries to take care of me Jac: I'm glad my subconscious hasn't totally betrayed me Jac: and that it cares as much about you as conscious me does Savannah: your subconscious loves me too, it's the cutest Jac: ☺ Jac: you're very lovable Savannah: The girl we hate has literally just asked me if I'm talking to my boyfriend 🙄 the love of my life, yes, some ridiculous boy from freshers, not even Jac: 100% she thinks she's found a 🤴 and he's a total 🐸 who'll spend the rest of the year ghosting her Savannah: 😄 SO true Jac: Some of the lads on our course are nice and everything Jac: but they all seem like 👶 somehow Savannah: I could not agree more & I've done my time babysitting Jac: Seriously Jac: we've got enough to focus on without mothering some poor homesick boys, no thanks Savannah: Of course she's doing art history, it's clear she intends to focus on cliches Jac: Oh my God Jac: I bet she dresses like a mini Middleton Jac: bless her ❤ Savannah: I won't be borrowing her 💄👚👠👒 Jac: 🤭 Definitely not Jac: Meghan is prettier and much more stylish Savannah: I love her Savannah: no offence but I would have to run away with her if she were here Jac: 😏 I understand Jac: I'll control my 💔 Savannah: not that I could bear to break up her & Harry & their beautiful family unit, however hypothetically Jac: they're adorable Jac: and you don't need to steal anyone else's 🤴 or 👸 Savannah: I really don't Jac: no one wants to be that evil queen stereotype Savannah: that's a reputation that would follow you Jac: came here to escape all of mine, not acquire new ones Jac: new 👎 ones Jac: 👍 ones are welcomed, obviously Savannah: I'll resist the urge to make the obvious unfavourable comparison between an evil queen & my dad's new girlfriend in order to do the same Jac: Does she come as a package deal with ugly stepsisters or are they not that serious yet? Savannah: I don't think he's willing to be that serious Jac: at least you don't have to be either then Savannah: I'm not there, he can't control anything I do anymore Savannah: but he needs to be fair to Sienna Jac: What does she think about it all? Savannah: She says she's happy he's moving on too, because I was leaving & mum's getting better Savannah: like we're in a fairy tale Jac: That's obviously just what she wishes and hopes is true Jac: even if it's not totally, yet Jac: but it's not, not true, right? Jac: Your mum is doing better than she was, yeah Savannah: but we both know better than rock bottom isn't recovered Savannah: I don't want her getting her hopes up too high Jac: Absolutely Jac: that's tough, all you can do is talk to her and tell her that Jac: even if she's not listening, she will be, you know, it'll sink in regardless Savannah: She's BEYOND sick of the sound of my voice, I'm not giving up though Jac: you're such a good sister ❤ Savannah: because I only have one, god knows how you cope Jac: Poorly, I'm sure Savannah: no way! Savannah: you're an incredible sister & best friend Jac: I'm not but Jac: it's complicated Jac: and not important right now Jac: [show up for this outfit emergency sure] Savannah: [we all know how happy she is to see her and how extra she'd be about it as standard so] Jac: [enjoy your moment you're not meant to be having ladies] Savannah: [casually ignoring all the peeps that are everywhere because you've got your bae now] Jac: [we know the vibes, we out here being gay] Savannah: [and drinking 🥂🍾 cos we extra] Jac: [we loving life 'cos we're together we're these bitches but you will be separating ladies] Savannah: [get all your touchy feely flirting in now gal cos yeah she has to leave] Jac: [at least you have the thinly-veiled excuse of needing to dress her] Savannah: [take all the thinly veiled excuses while you can cos we can't avoid the convo forever ladies] Jac: [or can you lmao] Savannah: [lives together for the next decade, gets married and has babies, still hasn't had the convo lol] Jac: [truly, okay, so you gotta go girl, we know what this would've been like, cue dramatic pining] Savannah: [sends her a selfie like 🥺 as soon as she's left basically with the flimsy excuse of the girl they hate being there in the background] Jac: ugh, isn't there some art for her to go appreciate Jac: besides you Savannah: she can appreciate my 😳 if you keep complimenting me like that Jac: you look amazing Jac: everyone is gonna be DYING to talk to you Savannah: thanks to you I do Jac: like you said, you look good in all your clothes, obvs, it was just picking the one for tonight Savannah: but whatever the outfit choice, I'd still be a nervous wreck if you hadn't come over to make me feel better Savannah: you make me feel amazing, that's why I now look it Jac: You return the favour tenfold, trust me Jac: whatever dress I throw on is not even half of it Savannah: 🥰 but I do still want to see what dress you have thrown on Jac: Of course Jac: 🤞 my room hasn't been turned into designated pre-party area or something Savannah: I can remember perfectly well how intimidating you can be if you need to, but I'll try not to as my 😳 didn't subside that long ago & it's honestly so hot all the things that you're capable of Jac: I'm not okay with you being intimidated by me Jac: you're as capable and hot, that's why we're here together Savannah: You don't have to worry because I'm not, I know how kind & sensitive you are too, especially when we are together Savannah: it's one rule for me & another for all the stupid boys we're surrounded by, in my case literally right now, seemingly out of nowhere Jac: Eurgh Jac: at least they're not constantly around your dorm Jac: though most of them have been okay, they are some really annoying ones in JB Savannah: 🙌🏾 🙏🏾 I'm not actually going to announce to my dad that he made one good decision, but between you & me 🙌🏾 🙏🏾 Savannah: consider this your sanctuary whenever you need it, baby girl Jac: He made it for the wrong reasons so he doesn't deserve the round of applause but Jac: ❤ Jac: next year we can get somewhere amazing, and only have over the people we want Savannah: at this point that's literally just Maddie 😄 Jac: Devin is nice, even though she's American Savannah: I don't hold it against Meghan so I'll extend her the same courtesy, I guess Jac: I'd say Nat but I don't know if you'd want her in your house, you know 😏 Savannah: like I wouldn't want her their specifically or she's not house trained in general? Jac: [sends her the butch girl's sinners night socials like see for yourself] Savannah: oh Jac: 😂 Savannah: okay, well I did ask Jac: Yeah Jac: she like, likes me Savannah: of course she does, you're perfect Savannah: she'd have bad taste if she didn't Jac: you knew? Savannah: her aesthetic isn't exactly subtle Jac: That's true Jac: she's alright though, if you get past that Jac: aside from the hitting on you every five seconds thing Savannah: She didn't try & hit on me 😢 Savannah: I knew the ✨ were too much! Jac: Maybe your aesthetic is the opposite of subtle too? Jac: you'd be far more 😢 if Maddie hadn't Savannah: Maddie didn't, she was all over that boy whose name I didn't catch Jac: Awh, baby Savannah: 🥺 Jac: I'll flirt with you, if you're feeling leftout Savannah: you don't like her more than me, do you? Jac: in what world is that even possible Savannah: it's freshers, we're about as far removed from the real world as it's possible to be Jac: I don't like her Jac: you're my best friend ever Savannah: it's okay if you do, but you can't like her more than me Jac: Never Savannah: experimentation is what university is for, everyone knows that, so it's fine Jac: Yeah, it's fine is it? Savannah: of course Savannah: you can like whoever you want Jac: She's not my type so Savannah: Devin then Jac: You're cool with that Jac: like, that's what you want? Savannah: for you to be happy is all I've ever wanted Savannah: why wouldn't I be cool with whoever you date, unless they're horrifically unsuitable,  criteria which we can't impose on her simply for being American Jac: Okay Jac: 'course Jac: I'm back, I'll let you party in peace Savannah: you have to show me your outfit first Jac: I'm just gonna chill in what I had on, who cares right Jac: we aren't going anywhere Savannah: I obviously care but sure, you do look beautiful as you are Jac: You know what I mean Jac: no entry requirements Savannah: except 🍾🥂 Jac: so much Jac: the headaches aren't fun Savannah: but everything up to that point always is Savannah: it's going to be so strange not having you here later Jac: I know Jac: we should probably get used to it Savannah: No Savannah: I've just gotten used to having you back Jac: I'm not going anywhere Jac: but you need the legroom, you said Savannah: that's not how you made it sound a literal second ago & you can't leave me, I need you Jac: We'll only share a bed 'til you get a boyfriend Savannah: I'm not getting a boyfriend Savannah: I distinctly recall telling you, I like being single Jac: For now Savannah: Yes, because we're talking about right now Jac: We don't need to talk about this at all Savannah: not if you don't want to Jac: we should be having fun Savannah: stop it Jac: Stop what? Savannah: you've been trying to end this conversation since you got back Jac: Only for you Savannah: that's not true Jac: not just for that Jac: but we should be, you think so too Jac: experimenting, whatever else uni is good for Savannah: I think you should do whatever will make you the happiest Jac: I know, I know Savannah: so okay, if the fun you believe we're meant to be having tonight doesn't include me, I'll talk to you when you've had it, I guess Savannah: I don't want to hold you back or anything Jac: That's not what I mean Savannah: Well, what do you mean? Jac: I don't know Jac: and I don't know what would make me happiest Jac: can that be okay too Savannah: you don't have to have answers for everything all the time, especially not just in order to give to me when I'm being demanding about it Jac: It's fine Savannah: it doesn't have to be, you're allowed to be annoyed at me, even in our honeymoon period Jac: I'm not annoyed at you Savannah: you know what I mean, all your emotions are valid Jac: So are yours Jac: you've been clear what yours are, I haven't Jac: I'm angry at myself, not you Savannah: I don't want that Jac: It's not your fault Savannah: it feels like it is Jac: It really isn't Jac: I'm sorry Savannah: how can I make you feel better? Jac: I'll be fine Savannah: don't say that, let me fix it Jac: You can't change how you feel, and I don't expect you to Savannah: I love you, nothing is ever going to change that Savannah: that's how I feel, you know that Jac: I do know what I want Jac: and I'm not experimenting Jac: alright Jac: that changes everything Savannah: I meant with different people, that's all Savannah: you've said yourself that after a few weeks you lose interest Jac: I've not lost interest in you in two years Savannah: you haven't seen me in two years Jac: Like seeing you is going to make it go away? Savannah: if I can't live up to your romanticised view of me, then yes Jac: I know who you are Savannah: I don't think I really know who I am though Savannah: not after everything Jac: I think that's normal Jac: and I like whoever you are Savannah: if you can throw a 'for now' at me, I can too Jac: That would be convenient Jac: but it never happened before, so I don't see that it will Savannah: this has never happened to me before & yet you still believe I'll choose some boy over you Jac: I've not either Jac: I'm just saying how it was before Savannah: well that isn't a fair comparison Jac: Isn't it? Savannah: No Savannah: I didn't want you to kiss me before but it's all I want now Jac: that's what I want too Savannah: did you get the same message I did about the second year psych house party? Savannah: we could go Jac: Should we? Savannah: we want to join the pysch society, right? At least some of those 2nd years will be part of it Savannah: it's more productive than awkward small talk with these girls in my dorm Savannah: & most importantly, I'll get to see you again, so yes Savannah: I think we should Jac: You're right Jac: we can make these connections any time, this is a too good an opportunity to expand our horizons Savannah: exactly Savannah: though by the time I've walked over to you in these heels you'll have had time to make a million connections within that dorm too Savannah: 😄 Jac: You need to invest in a pair of flats for your bag, seriously Savannah: I've done my time wearing flats & I got rid of that urge, coincidentally, once my insecure boyfriend dumped me Savannah: I need to drink less 🍾🥂 potentially Jac: Okay 😏 but be careful Savannah: You're adorable Jac: I'd rather you didn't fall into the sea, or a golf hole, that's all Savannah: I promise to look where I'm going since you aren't here to look at Jac: Not much to look at currently Jac: I better get changed after-all Savannah: that's not even close to true Savannah: you're beautiful & interesting irrespective of what you're wearing Jac: Now you're being shameless Savannah: I would NEVER Jac: 😂 Savannah: if you make me laugh there's every increased chance I will fall into a ⛳️ Jac: 🤐 Jac: You're shameless in a good way Savannah: Then you won't mind me asking a shameless question, do you think she's going to be there? Jac: Who? Savannah: Natalie, of course Jac: Oh, I dunno Jac: if she knows some older psych kids already, could see it, but otherwise, doubt it Savannah: Hmm Jac: What's hmm? Savannah: I'm just thinking maybe I need to run into her if she's going to be flirting with you whenever you do Jac: So she can flirt with you too Savannah: So she'll stop doing it, I'm not that shameless, thank you Jac: How are you gonna get her to do that? Savannah: I'm sure she will respect that I saw you first Jac: You're so Savannah: it's like beyond terrifying when you don't finish a sentence Jac: it's only 'cos I'm gonna say something so nice it'll scare us both Savannah: I could never be scared of a compliment Jac: Just me, then, make it worse 😋 Savannah: Baby, you don't need to be scared either Jac: But I want you so bad it is Savannah: you aren't going to lose me so it doesn't have to be Jac: I'll try Jac: to believe that, to not be scared Savannah: I'll be here to help you, because nobody can separate us this time except us & that's not something I'm ever going to let happen Jac: Good, as long as that keeps being what we both want, then there's nothing we can't solve Savannah: I believe that Savannah: [probably show up so you can be extra in person gal starting with your 😍 over whatever she's wearing now] Jac: [when you're definitely going in for the kiss right away no pretense] Savannah: [we all know she's about it] Jac: [thank god lmao] Savannah: [don't need a repeat of that runaways moment] Jac: [truly, casually try to calm down with 🍾🥂 now 'cos nearly died] Savannah: [when you're lowkey so into each other that you forget you've got somewhere else to be going] Jac: [already bailed on one idea here ladies] Savannah: [makes me lol like how long did you last at your dorm parties, no time at all] Jac: [literal, and you were just on your phones nearly having an argument so] Savannah: [not that I blame you cos everyone I shared with were dicks and you are only there for the first year which will fly by but the point ladies] Jac: [my poor boo, but we know you ain't making bffs so it matters not] Savannah: [god bless you two because it will be a miracle if you make it to this party with how highkey you are rn] Jac: [how you've only kissed is amiracle] Savannah: [I have the hilarious mental image of them both fixing their makeup and hair like okay we can go & then making out again so they have to redo it and so on for infinity lol] Jac: [rinse and repeat, too real] Savannah: [like what are you putting on and taking off too, very we ain't even gonna make it to this club, Beyonce approves] Jac: [bop and a lifestyle] Savannah: [Savannah already has the biggest lips ever they would be obscene after kissing forever, what a visual] Jac: [someone said she should be cast as Sally from tnbc and I can't unsee lol] Jac: [corpse bride fool] Savannah: [should we let them hook up tonight or wait until tomorrow/ the end of freshers?] Jac: [I say tonight purely so they can be ultra gay at the festival moment tomorrow lol] Savannah: [I agree that's a great idea] Jac: [and we almost had a real convo so it's been amped up here] Savannah: [I know I'm evil but I think their first time should be like a bit awkward because we always let everyone have a swag one and like you can get there ladies but it fits with who Savannah is/ how easily she'd freak out if everything wasn't perfect after all this build up and it works once again for them because their communication and trust levels that neither of them would be like okay well that's NEVER happening again ever] Jac: [that makes sense to me too] Savannah: [like if Sav was freaking out/crying cos she's like this is not going according to plan Jac isn't gonna let her leave, as she said they can work anything out and would once she's calmed down because gal you're clearly into each other, you can do this, just chill] Jac: [we know you can calm her down and as long as it's not like 'I don't wanna do this anymore' she's not gonna freak too so] Savannah: [and we all know when it's swag it'll be swag because she's 100% that straight girl that was like oh yeah it takes me a really long time to have an orgasm which I know is a real thing like Rosie always saying she takes like 45 minutes but in her case it's definitely her boyfriends not doing the most because that was such a thing when I was in that straight girl tumblr tag lol] Jac: [it just makes sense, like we wouldn't know what to do with a penis 'cos we don't have one, you need to learn whereas if you know yourself if you know what I'm saying, gay sex is easier to be good at] Savannah: [she just always puts too much pressure on herself to be A+ at everything immediately so it made sense to me that she would have a me style freak out because she hasn't done loads of nerdy prep for this whereas Jac can just swag it because she's not doing that she's just in her emotions] Jac: [god bless, we just freaking out that she's gonna flip 180 at any minute but not gonna let that stop her obvs] Savannah: [it's fair because we'd all be thinking it] Jac: [hence tryna say it but being crap at doing so] Savannah: [go to the party first though ladies because if this hook up drama happened first you'd never make it] Jac: [yes, go get adopted by some psychology students] Savannah: [love that for you both tbh] Jac: [you'd be thrilled, nerds] Savannah: [even though you're both really distracted by how much you wanna hook up, focus nerds] Jac: [whatever gets you going i guess] Savannah: [is there anything we really want to happen at this party or should we just keep it chill, by which I mean sexual tension off the charts but a good time had by all] Jac: [Hmm, Natalie should not be there 'cos too cool for school but even if she was, bye, do you have any ideas?] Savannah: [I agree they should be the only psychology freshers there because nerds and defs getting adopted] Jac: [agreed, be those hoes we know you are] Savannah: [you've been extra in terms of nearly having a row so of course you gotta be extra the other way and just keep all those makeouts going, JJ would be proud] Jac: [people would be about it like the bitch on the beach 'cos straights are always like OMG YOU'RE SO SWEET AHH so you can lap that up shamelessly like oh yes we are haha] Savannah: [progress is being made tonight honey cos we did that little display for the butch on psych night but you've not actually kissed anywhere but your dorms] Jac: [proud of you gals] Savannah: [considering the awkwardness of a 2 year absence that we started this uni experience with, you're doing amazing gals] Jac: [truly, such a weird situation who knows what any of us would do] Savannah: [if it was me I'd have to just pretend the other person didn't exist for the rest of my life and suffer] Jac: [not I, I would get you] Savannah: [I really hope there's no gross posh boys at this party cos you don't need that any of y'all sweet nerds] Jac: [undoubtedly there is but pretend to be progressive and just silently oggle ty] Savannah: [tah very much lads] Jac: [gotta pretend to be cool even though they are paying you NO attention] Savannah: [nor will they, we're leaving the straightness behind forever] Jac: [that tickled me] Jac: [maybe there was a student teacher there or a real one but not in a creepy way, bit weird but uni is, so maybe they cornered 'em and now have separate meetings with 'em to like, get ahead, idk, nerd shit, so one of them has gone first and then it's like morning, afternoon, time to start getting ready so they've gone back to own dorms] Savannah: [yeah there's loads of potential for what that could be because we know they'd wanna be involved in everything] Jac: [literal like maybe there was two important peeps and they're tackling one each, it don't matter, you will have to part some times and that's all we need] Savannah: [yeah we know what the vibe we're trying to get at here] Savannah: I can't find my [insert obscure makeup routine item/accessory that she simply must have to get ready like okay]! Savannah: today is a trial already honestly Jac: Has Mega not Markle been snooping through your stuff? Jac: I think I saw it in your brown satchel last though, really Jac: What's up, boo? Savannah: I hope not & I instead hope that you're right as you usually are Savannah: maybe I have champagne brain or something Jac: I've not heard of it being a Thing™ but I still lock my door even when I'm just going to the kitchen 🤷 Jac: we did drink a LOT more at the party Jac: productive though, like we hoped Savannah: as long as I didn't make a TOTAL fool of myself, I'm counting it as a definite success Jac: Not even Jac: you were perfect Jac: we weren't that level of drunk or we would have KNOWN not to approach the editor of the magazine Savannah: I don't know how you always manage to put me instantly at ease, except of course that you're actually the level of perfect that you're trying to portray me as right now Jac: You deserve to be Jac: no one else works as hard as you Jac: you need to take the time and headspace to enjoy the spoils of Savannah: literally god knows when but I'll try Jac: tonight will be a good place to start Jac: the expectation is nothing but to dance and have fun Jac: in something as colourful and ✨ as possible Savannah: 😊 Savannah: I do understand why the majority of freshers are claiming it to be the highlight before its even happened Jac: it'll be mine to see how beautiful you'll be Savannah: you're this smooth, this early, after that much 🍾🥂? Okay then, wow Savannah: the pressure is back on Jac: Not even Jac: you make me feel the cheesiest Savannah: you're not though, trust me, because my ex was & you're so far from Savannah: his everything basically Jac: I'll take it as the compliment it undoubtedly is Jac: have you found your [thing]? Jac: I can go into town and check if they have some, though the chances are slim Savannah: you have to because I can only be so complimentary & remain productive when I already miss you this much Savannah: yes! You were so right about where it was, of course Jac: I miss you more Savannah: that's impossible & I refuse to acknowledge it Jac: you'll have to when I show you later Savannah: oh Savannah: well now I'm unfocused Jac: Are we mad about that or no? Savannah: frustration does come into it, anger doesn't Jac: You're so cute Jac: tell me how I can help Savannah: you are helping Jac: more Jac: I wanna help more Savannah: No, because I can't demand that you come here any time I want you to Savannah: even if I really want you to Jac: it'd be hot if you did Jac: demand away Jac: though I really do need to go into town, stock up on some essentials Savannah: I'm trying to be 👼🏾 Savannah: but you & the lord are testing me Jac: You're very good Jac: that's the problem Jac: I never want to leave you, or do anything but be with you, properly Savannah: 🥺🥺🥺 Savannah: you're going to make me cry or run towards you or something else as dramatic Jac: I can handle dramatic Jac: prefer the term passionate though, suits you better Savannah: you think you can Jac: prove me wrong Jac: try to, anyway Savannah: stop trying to tempt me, you'll never get to town if I do Jac: Okay, okay 👼🏻 Jac: just making sure you're the most excited you can be to see me later Savannah: you're making sure I need to see you now Jac: Maybe Savannah: it's not a maybe for me Jac: Promise? Savannah: yes Jac: 🥰 Jac: I don't know what to say but that Savannah: you don't have to say anything, just come & see me before you go Jac: alright Jac: hold on Savannah: 😊 Jac: I know you look much cuter than that emoji rn Savannah: [a selfie because of course she looks effortlessly 💣] Jac: oh Savannah: Now you know exactly how I look Jac: now I need to 🏃 Savannah: I wouldn't be mad about it Savannah: I am waiting for you, after all Jac: You reckon you've been patient enough, yeah? Savannah: don't you think so? Jac: You've not wanted to kiss me for as long as I've wanted to kiss you Savannah: I know Jac: so, you can wait a little bit and I won't feel too bad Jac: even if you 🥺 Savannah: I don't want you to feel bad, you know that's the opposite of how I want to make you feel Savannah: for a really long time Savannah: but if you want to make me wait instead, you can Savannah: I won't 🥺 Jac: Savannah Savannah: ? Jac: Do you know how good it feels to hear you say all that Savannah: I may not have waited as long as you but I still feel good right now knowing that this is something that's finally happening Jac: I want you to feel good Jac: and happy and safe and Jac: only good things Savannah: that's all I want for both of us Jac: you make me happy Savannah: I hope so because you did & do make me the happiest I've ever been Jac: then it's settled Savannah: that you're running here? Okay Jac: That, Jac: and the fact we're going to keep doing everything we can to make each other happy Savannah: 😄 Of course Savannah: I knew that's what you actually meant but it'll make me really happy to have you here Jac: I'm looking forward to feeling that Savannah: you won't have to leave too soon, will you? Jac: Nah Jac: we've got time Jac: you're my priority right now Savannah: that's a relief because you're everything to me Savannah: & if I have to make time by following you into town & every shop, then I will Savannah: but you might want more privacy than that Jac: there's no maybe that I want to be alone with you right now Savannah: that's another relief, I don't think I'm ready to be that shameless Savannah: it's a very small town Jac: 😂 Jac: you never have to be that shameless Jac: I only wanna do what makes you happy Savannah: please remind me of that when lectures start & you're the only thing I can think about because I feel like the urge to be shameless won't be as easy to ignore then Jac: I'll help you study if you help me Jac: you were always distractingly beautiful, we were still the perfect team Savannah: so were you, I know you think I wasn't looking, that I didn't want to, but that just isn't true Jac: I know there were Jac: moments Jac: it was just not knowing if they were the same moments for you as they were for me Savannah: as soon I met you I felt like I didn't know anything any more, not to be the level of sure that I thought I needed everything to stay at for my life to make sense Savannah: I was a mess, there's a high probability that I still am Jac: I didn't mean to do that to you Jac: I know you aren't asking for an apology for it or anything Jac: it was the same for me in that I'd not felt that before either Savannah: you didn't do anything, it was my own feelings that turned my world upside down & my own fault that instead of trying to actually deal with it, I decided to fill my world with loads of other things, as if that would force it into being the right way up again Savannah: of course it didn't Jac: I'm not about to blame mine on you either Jac: though you are the only person, girl or boy, that I've been this attracted to, I only mean that as a positive Jac: it was a mess of a time, and there's lots of it I do regret and have learned from, and continue to learn from, hopefully, but I don't regret it all, and don't think we should Savannah: I could never take you saying or feeling that for me as a negative Savannah: & yes, I agree, though I don't think I've done nearly as much learning or growing in these two years as I should've Savannah: which is why I don't want to be a distraction for you, despite the fact that this situation couldn't be more different than anything that happened in Sligo Jac: Me either, I didn't turn into or saint myself in your absence Jac: in certain ways, I got worse, honestly Jac: ways I still haven't dealt with Jac: but you could never be a distraction in the way those things and people were for you Jac: you make me better Jac: I know there were instances where we made each other worse Jac: but is it giving us too much credit to say that was more, the upsidedownness of how our feelings made our lives feel, rather than us being together? Savannah: I guess that the only way we can truly take that credit by earning it now, in being together & doing better Savannah: because our lives are still going to be upside down here, sometimes & maybe even often to start with Jac: I can acknowledge that my life isn't upside down because of this, us, you Jac: not dealing with it, facing it, that was a big part Jac: not all of it, our lives are big and complex and messy, regardless Jac: but denying who I am, what I want, well, it didn't even feel like my life Savannah: if only the guilt I feel began & ended with you, I know I can do things to heal that Savannah: this relationship is the most well functioning one I have, including the relationship I have with myself Jac: I really know what you mean Jac: I've barely communicated with my family since Jac: and even before that, I was never great at it Savannah: I literally have no room to judge, you know the state that my family has been and is currently in Jac: and there are relationships, guilt, I personally feel I'll never be able to erase Jac: it's fitting punishment but still Jac: the only comfort is that Isabelle is doing fine despite it all, despite what I feel I had a massive hand in, even if I didn't do it myself, or know it would be done Savannah: ^^ Savannah: & there's a degree of comfort in all our siblings clearly coping better than us Savannah: not that it would be very difficult to raise the bar there Jac: Seriously Jac: I mean, I try to take comfort in it Jac: not just feel jealous and bitter, not a good look, I know Savannah: me too, even though it also makes my heart sink how my sister viewed me & how far from the truth it was Jac: You didn't just put up the front for yourself, you were protecting her from knowing how you really felt, when there was already so much for her to cope with, even if she did well Jac: which is far better than what I did, not that it's a competition or I'm trying to tell you you did perfectly Savannah: but now that's a dialogue I can never open back up because I was lying Savannah: she can never know that when it's exactly what both our parents did Jac: Never say never Jac: beyond that aphorism, I doubt you know everything about her thoughts and feelings, it's normal to have that barrier at the time Jac: things are easier to discuss after the fact, when you've both got a degree more clarity, removed from the !!! of things when they're happening Jac: as much of a hypocrite as that makes me to say, because I've started no such conversations myself Jac: but Sienna adores you as much as you her, and not because she thinks you're perfect, but because you're her big sister Savannah: we definitely both know that better than most, there's reasons why I deleted every conversation I began with you then & I'm not censoring myself now Savannah: don't worry, I'm not going to insist you have a heart to heart with Jude or any of the others Jac: ^^ Jac: The amount of times I went to say, everything I could possibly say, pour my heart out to you, that that felt like exactly the right thing to do Jac: then had to go distract myself with whatever wrong thing Jac: I have talked to Jesse, a bit Jac: more recently, too Savannah: I'm sorry that the timing was all wrong for me to be able to listen to or express any of it, but I'm ready now, I promise Savannah: for everything you could possibly say Savannah: including that you've told your brother about me Jac: No, it wouldn't have been right to do it that way Jac: like it wasn't right to just, kiss you Jac: it felt it but we weren't ready for any of it, it might seem like I was, just because I knew how I felt about you, but so much else was confused and yeah, it wasn't, I wasn't Jac: you aren't mad? Jac: obviously they've all seen you're here too now Jac: but I've not gone into any kind of meaningful detail with the rest of them Savannah: It's okay, I'm glad you've had someone to talk to Savannah: I know this week has been confusing too, that I must have made it confusing for you Jac: In a good way Jac: obviously, I'm so glad to have you back in my life Jac: I didn't think we'd ever get closure either Jac: and I had more trouble making peace with that than just about anything else Savannah: thank god I didn't go on that gap year Jac: You were thinking about it? Savannah: originally we were going together, Milo & I, so it would've been more of an undertaking to go alone, but I thought you wouldn't want to see me, so Jac: That makes sense Savannah: Putting us in different years was as much distance as I could give you without like uprooting my entire future, it seemed like a good idea Savannah: obviously it therefore stands to reason that my dad said no Jac: Was going to say, surprised your dad agreed to that plan at any point Savannah: he was somewhat distracted by his new girlfriend Jac: Of course Jac: #1 priority 'til you're not Jac: what's Sienna's plan for next year? Savannah: she's struggling to decide which uni she should go to Savannah: maybe she'll take a gap year, that'd be so typical Jac: Yep, Jude and Jameson get away with murder in comparison Savannah: It would unfair even if he was any kind of decent father, but how he believes he can lecture me as things currently are, I have no idea Jac: A lot of people are, not happy to live the mess their life is in, but are happy to be willfully blind to it Jac: it's easier than making changes, especially when you're a part of the problem Savannah: he's called me every day that I've been here, like, we're not bringing this into my new life, thank you Jac: That's too much Jac: designated a day(s) and time and don't answer any other time, he'll have to learn to respect it Savannah: he has literally NO boundaries for someone who shut the door on us & walked away until he was forced to come back in Jac: it's a control thing Jac: but where was his authority when it would have actually benefitted you, re. everything with your mum, why wasn't he laying down the law then? Jac: only when it benefits him and makes him feel better about himself Savannah: exactly, I'm beyond tired of it Savannah: he made those 2 years so much worse than they already would've been Savannah: I'm obviously not going to insist that all the blame for Milo lands squarely on his shoulders but if I had a home that I felt comfortable spending time in, I wouldn't have needed to be at his as often as I was Savannah: which really didn't help me process anything that I should've been Jac: It definitely was a factor Jac: I know how that feels too Jac: not wanting to be home Jac: but not wanting to be out of the house either because that was just as bad in different ways Jac: I see the appeal of having somewhere to be Savannah: I knew you'd understand Savannah: I'm so happy to have you to talk to again Jac: Obviously I don't love that for you, that you had to do that Jac: but I, again, know the feeling Savannah: It's what I've always done, with Ty & you too Savannah: I missed your house the most though, it was my favourite place to land Savannah: even if none of your siblings liked having me there 😄 Jac: Said as if Jude's friends aren't the most annoying people in the world Savannah: there's so many of them Jac: Yeah, she'd invite any old stray home Savannah: that sounds like a caffeine headache to me Savannah: I don't know how she does it Jac: She doesn't do a whole lot of anything else, that's why Savannah: who's she dating? Jac: your guess is as good as mine Savannah: okay, that sounds like an entirely different headache Savannah: at least some things have stayed the same Jac: I wouldn't know, really Jac: it's not like that, me and my siblings Jac: well, it hasn't been Savannah: I'm sorry for how much of that is my fault Savannah: because I hurt you Jac: I'm not going to put all the blame onto your shoulders, either Jac: it isn't Savannah: but I know you & I knew what would happen Savannah: I didn't stop you from shutting down because I wanted everything to stop Savannah: when you kissed me it felt like the world should've, but it didn't Jac: I know Jac: it would've been so much more of a thing for you to go with it, to change what you were, or who you were seen as, at least Savannah: I was so in love with Ty & I wanted it to work so badly but I couldn't do it Savannah: I'd never failed before at something I'd been that determined about Savannah: It sounds so stupid to say at this point Jac: It's not Jac: but you know, I mean, at the risk of making it sound like I thought you were stupid, when it was probably so obvious and you did know Jac: I was trying to get him out the picture Jac: you didn't fail Savannah: if our relationship was strong enough you wouldn't have been able to Savannah: as I said, everything changed when I met you anyway Savannah: he wasn't stupid either Jac: Yeah Jac: as pointless as it is to say how we should've handled it Jac: I want you to know I hold myself accountable for what I clearly shouldn't have done, and you can too Savannah: we all did things that we shouldn't have done Jac: True Savannah: I forgive you and you can forgive yourself too Jac: It's hard, isn't it Jac: not to feel like I was the worst when my intentions are the only ones I can truly know Savannah: yes & I feel it too, all the time Savannah: but I've seen you at what you believe to be your worst & I still love you Jac: I love you too Jac: and forgive you, of course Jac: and anyone else who's forgiveness you need, or you want to be better with, we can work on it together, okay Savannah: okay Savannah: everything happens for a reason, right? I don't want to consider changing it if it means I won't end up here Savannah: painful as things have been & still are Jac: I think so Jac: if I didn't believe in fate before, this would've eradicated any doubt Savannah: tempting as it would be to say that I wish I'd just kissed you back in that hotel room, we might not be here together if I did Savannah: two years is kind of my limit apparently, so far at least 😄 Jac: No pressure, or anything Jac: we have to do at least the four at the same uni so Savannah: okay, you can dump me after that if you insist Jac: It's your turn Jac: and I never would so Savannah: well, I'm never going to leave you Savannah: not again, because technically I already did, which makes it your turn Jac: Okay, looks like we're staying with each other Savannah: if you EVER get here Savannah: I thought you were supposed to be running Jac: You'll have to stop talking, my love 😏 Savannah: you'll have to stop me

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: [Enough lowkey happened on that camping trip that this can be near the start of the holidays, like we already been knew but we're pretending still at this point that none of this is real okay lads, obviously they at the stage of pretending to be more life and soul than they actually are 'cos all the fakery so when she's in a mood and gone off it's more noticeable, you feel?] Jimmy: [that's a whole fat mood even if he doesn't actually find her with Harry he'd still be like UM hello] Janis: [I don't think she shoulda 100% come out with the intention of doing this but when she wanna (cos Jimmy, obvs, we know Harry is not that hot or charming really lol) can't it's like well this isn't real so I can't ask him so I wanna be with someone who I can for real, like it could be anyone but he's the obvious choice...apart from that, I think we can go] Jimmy: [100% agree it's not like a calculated bitch move and we know how messy they get at parties so] Jimmy: Alright? Janis: Yep Janis: fresh air Jimmy: 🚬? Janis: 🚽 Jimmy: Oi you're not 🤢 are you? Janis: Fuck off Janis: 'course I ain't Janis: only room with a lock Jimmy: what's up then? Janis: that song was so offensively shit Janis: can't hear myself think Jimmy: come outside Janis: why? Jimmy: I'll pick you a 🌹 obvs Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: a valid one Janis: if I've gotta act 😍 over that, how big the crowd I'm walking into is, etc Jimmy: it's quieter out here, dickhead Janis: idk, could run a bath and go under Jimmy: 💀💀💀 pact's for two Jimmy: can we both fit? Janis: the bath is suitably impressive Janis: no marble though so I'm disgusted, obvs Jimmy: won't somebody think of the blood splatter? 😒 Jimmy: let me in then Janis: What kind of proposition is that? Janis: Give me five minutes Jimmy: so high maintenance, you Janis: If you wanna be known as the kind of boyfriend who has to watch their girlfriend take a piss, be my guest Jimmy: who are you talking about my kinks to, girl? Jimmy: bit rude Janis: no need Janis: all 👀s on us at all times Jimmy: yeah and I look like a right dickhead Jimmy: hurry up, Janet Janis: go 🚬 Janis: I'll be there in a few Jimmy: love when you tell me what to do Jimmy: 😍😍🤤 Janis: I'll add it to the kink list to 📢 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: [when it's so awkward like hope there ain't an audience bye] Jimmy: [lights her a 🚬 cos standard but is looking at her like ??] Janis: [taking it and just smoking for a bit 'some nights, this is just more inconvenient than others, yeah?'] Jimmy: ['Nah, it's inconvenient every night, mate' shrugs but is clearly like what the fuck do you mean] Janis: [🙄 'obviously but-' shrugs but in a idk how to word this now kinda way '9/10 when we ain't putting on a show we can still do what we want, yeah?'] Jimmy: [nudges her like go on and taking a big drag while he works out what that means and then takes a hot sec to answer we all know why 'depends'] Janis: ['yeah, it's the depends, ain't it' nods like we're on the same page now 'the shit you wanna do but technically can't 'cos it jeopardizes the whole performance, even when you ain't'] Jimmy: [just looking at her like what even though he knows cos gonna make you say it always #thatbitch] Janis: [just the longest smoke break lmao 'like if we actually wanted to hook up with someone at this party, we can't'] Jimmy: Bathroom door's got a lock on it Jimmy: you said Janis: Obviously Janis: as if there's any chance of 'cheating' without every cunt seeing Janis: they seem thick but they're well up on all this gossip bullshit Jimmy: not with that 🥉 attitude Jimmy: 💕 conquers all, Jules, ain't you heard Janis: Now I'm an amatuer, yeah? Jimmy: do you need me to say it again using the 📢? Janis: how many lasses you had in there tonight then Jimmy: As many as I want Jimmy: [walks away rudely] Janis: alright Janis: message received Jimmy: is it? Janis: Nothing cryptic about it, really Jimmy: we don't need coded 🗨 Jimmy: save that for whoever's meeting you in the bathroom Janis: I doubt I'd be meeting anyone if I had to go to that length of espionage Jimmy: Oi 💀👑 would go to the ends of the earth for you, my dear Janis: 💀👑 can also manage a game of chess, so I hear Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: as romantic nights in go, you could do worse Janis: Romance would not be in his vocabulary, if he knew he had one Janis: thank fuck Jimmy: 💔 or 👍 Jimmy: Delete whichever one Janis: Doing someone else to make you jealous is a cliche too far, I reckon Jimmy: good job that ain't why then Jimmy: you can crack on Janis: Bill would be well let down Jimmy: I ain't got a balcony for him to haunt, it's alright Janis: 🤞 the lack of marble don't vex him then Jimmy: wouldn't be my first 👻🥊 if he really wants to get a mard on Janis: 👍 in a bit Jimmy: 👌 Janis: [later but not like hours obvs] Janis: you still about? Jimmy: weren't gonna just do one without telling you Jimmy: what kind of fake boyfriend Jimmy: [in my head he's having a drink with some art hoe from his class cos saying they're chatting would be a stretch lol] Janis: 💕 Janis: [obvs like oh but recovery of coming over and having a swig of his drink like bonjour] Jimmy: [gives it to her so he has the excuse of going to get another one cos doesn't wanna talk to either of them rn] Janis: [oh the small talk you are not making, this girl, soz hun] Jimmy: [when you just in the kitchen like this takes longer than it does/you can't poss push through the peeps to get back] Janis: what's her story then Janis: why is she so 😪 Jimmy: Who is she? Janis: Got enough to 📢 about you Jimmy: and what? Janis: so stalker or you should at least be able to pull a name out your arse, like Jimmy: Why? I don't remember yours and you're my missus Janis: Hmm 😏 endearing quirk or a sign of early-onset dementia Jimmy: weren't that early 👴 me Janis: True Janis: be back in 🚼 'fore long Jimmy: if you've forgotten how old I am, might wanna get your own 🧠 checked, mate Jimmy: and yeah, your kinks are blatant, calm down Janis: I've been around enough actual babies to know I don't wanna pretend to look after one in my me time Jimmy: I ain't around you in your personal time Jimmy: let you off the 🕛 Janis: no one wants to fake hear about my adult baby kink, dickhead Jimmy: Dunno where I put my 📢 Jimmy: 💔 Janis: are you lost Janis: you've been ages Jimmy: now you miss me Janis: She wasn't much company Jimmy: I don't need to tell you, she ain't the only dickhead here Jimmy: or to crack on Janis: We'll have to be seen in the same room at some point Janis: or I'll just go home, like Jimmy: Off you go then Janis: yeah, 'cos I can just go Janis: you know how this works Jimmy: You ain't been caught out yet Jimmy: maybe the fans weren't as bothered as we reckoned Janis: 'cos I'm not an idiot Janis: which is what we'll both look if we have a weird domestic now Jimmy: you can leave that right out Jimmy: it's how I've looked for ages Janis: You said I could Jimmy: Piss off Janis: You did, you pretty much challenged me to do it Jimmy: Take the out Jimmy: I don't fucking need you here now Janis: Don't be stupid Janis: if I wanted an out, I'd do it Janis: that was the whole point of talking to you Janis: if you had a problem with it tonight you should've said so Jimmy: If you wanna go home, go home Janis: No, 'cos you want me to go home, I'm not going to Janis: and if you want an out, you'll have to fucking say that too Jimmy: I don't care, Janis Jimmy: Alright? Janis: Yeah, fine by me Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [storms through this party to go smoke again because that's the mood he's in] Janis: [when you'll have to go break something somewhere 'cos it is not okay, thank God we don't care about whoever's house this is] Jimmy: [honestly there better not be anyone annoying outside cos he will smack you lads] Janis: [seriously I'm like flat whites don't be there we can't be having the levels of violent rn 'cos can't deal with emotions] Jimmy: [likewise thank god he ain't going home to Ian rn cos that'd be a brawl and a half nobody needs] Janis: [oh you two] Jimmy: [he is not drunk enough for this lol] Janis: [when you're so frustrated that was a blatant flop and now you can't leave but can't stay, fun poll] Janis: *lol rude Jimmy: [you had one job Harry ffs] Janis: [must assume he's left 'cos highkey and you'd have to sleep with him and not happening boy] Jimmy: [what do you think she did do before she was like ABORT MISSION] Janis: [it probably got to the usual point and it's like hmm still nothing so maybe she gave him head 'cos frustration honey but then was like good day] Jimmy: [I don't feel sorry for you sir but I do feel sorry for Jimothy because he'd be doing drinking games rn throwforward to their other domestic at that party remember cos only time he ever joins in with that kinda nonsense] Janis: [they're always so grim and you are gonna get so drunk boy, I truly dunno where you're gonna be, casually barricaded in some room you're trashing, like] Jimmy: [imagine some time has passed so he's drunker] Jimmy: Oi Janis: what Jimmy: you in the 🚽 again or what? Janis: no, I'm not Janis: all yours, mate Jimmy: Tah Jimmy: [sends her some flirty shit he's been sent meaning like I gotta hide but it comes across now like I'm gonna hit that #miscommunication ftw] Janis: There's that out you wanted Janis: good for you Jimmy: What? Janis: Don't what me like an idiot Jimmy: Don't be a twat like a twat Janis: Good one Janis: We'll pretend it'd be more scathing if you weren't pissed Janis: I said good for you, what more could I do to not be a twat? Jimmy: How about you pretend to have a word, you've only got the one job, rich girl Janis: What are you talking about? Jimmy: What did I just say? Janis: Why would I fake jealous of a girl you're gonna go fuck Jimmy: Why would you do owt to help me out? Fuck knows, tonight's obvs not the night for that Janis: You're making no sense right now Janis: and like fuck, this whole thing is about helping you out Jimmy: you Janis: me what Jimmy: You're making no sense Janis: This is stupid Janis: we ain't talking in circles Janis: you've got somewhere to be Jimmy: No I don't Janis: well, I'm not the one you need to let down gently then Jimmy: just Janis: I've already given her dirty looks Janis: ['cos you can't be in that room forever, like] Jimmy: [be extra like it's all for that girl's benefit okay boy] Janis: [when you're gonna respond like for like 'cos casual state you are in lawd] Jimmy: [have a MOMENT because god knows you're not gonna talk about any of this so obvs such a good idea to take your mood out this way instead of course] Janis: ['scuse the SHOW everyone but they can't get a room or the pretense is gone so] Jimmy: [also you all love it so] Janis: [ya perverts, lowkey start a softcore pornsite with all the footage y'all take] Jimmy: [honestly] Janis: [I get it, they're hot and this is low-key exhibitionism at this point 'cos frustrations] Jimmy: [when he's saying he missed her in between this intense sesh but is he saying it for the unnamed girl and the rest of the audience or because he actually wants to and has drunk enough 🤔] Jimmy: [because not saying it in a really extra fake way just genuinely like 'I missed you' bye] Janis: [excuse you, when neither she nor I is drunk enough to deal with that in a sensible manner] Jimmy: [it's fine we know they're not sensible rn or lowkey ever] Janis: [just gonna be saying his name like a reply, can't pretend you don't know his, babe] Jimmy: [nobody can pretend they don't know how into it he is, look away please art hoe gal] Janis: [there's some things you can't fake lads we know it] Jimmy: [especially when you're basically going as hard as you did on the school trip when you wanted Grace and Co to leave that room] Janis: [remember when, Grace does #triggered] Jimmy: [thank god we said she's not there cos this would be worse than that cos Janis is frustrated/angry af and he's angry/jealous af like imagine] Janis: [someone be shameless enough to stop them please 'cos we can't] Jimmy: [I know we've done the police before but have we done someone's parents rocking up? cos how shaming for this party thrower 🤞 it's not my boy Dan] Janis: [I don't think Dan is cool enough to throw a party at all, god bless and goodnight but yes a good idea, we shall do it] Jimmy: [when you have to go from 100000-0 cos nobody's gonna hear the parents key in the door over all that music and chaos so they just there like] Janis: [just running like lowkey what is happening but gotta go] Jimmy: [handholding for Winnie! at least until this boy has to stop cos can't run as fast or far as her] Janis: [don't vom that wouldn't be cute] Jimmy: [catch your breath and you'll be fine my beloved soft sir] Janis: [patting down his pockets like she's looking for an inhaler but obviously is looking for and gets out his pack of cigarettes like there you go, that'll sort you out 😏] Jimmy: [when he's gotta be so 😏 like steady on girl cos he's actually so 😳 and not just from running clearly, thank god for that 🚬 which we can all pretend suddenly needs the most intense concentration on earth like] Janis: [pushes him like shut up but is also 😳 so carrying on walking ahead so you can hide that and take a moment] Jimmy: [not even trying to catch up cos you also need a minute] Janis: are you going home? Jimmy: Are you? Janis: nah Janis: not when I can help it Jimmy: [shrugs like that's the most casual thing he's ever heard but looking at her like where are you going] Janis: [looking back and shrugging, continuing to walk on like let's see where I end up] Jimmy: [checking his phone to see if there are any other parties cos easter hols so obvs and showing her the options like do you fancy any of these] Janis: [a look like 'you wanna do more faking?' like you don't know oh girl and picking the party that's the closest to where they are right now] Jimmy: [gives her a look like I'll take free drinks over going home cos yeah that's the only reason okay] Janis: [nods like I hear that] Jimmy: [playfully nudges her like so come on] Janis: ['alright, alright' and walking needlessly fast 'cos minimal time alone is required] Jimmy: [when you automatically go to pull her back and then stop yourself cos no] Janis: [whether you notice that or nah, clearly pretending otherwise] Jimmy: [smoking and walking even if you have to light another one immediately idk how far this is and neither does he cos never knows where he is lol] Janis: [looking like 'aren't you gonna give me one?'] Jimmy: [looks back like not if you're 6 miles ahead of me but obvs does give her his and then lights a new one] Janis: [slowing down to take it but still keeping a pace ahead] Jimmy: [and he's just on his phone texting back and forth with Cass cos she's not asleep but should be but obvs he could be doing anything cos Janis don't know his life yet] Janis: [shamelessly like oh, take this time to think about your life and choices, babe] Jimmy: [let us take a moment to appreciate the state of them though like all the skin she's got on show and what he would've done to it, enjoy that in a sec Mia you nosy bitch] Janis: [gonna make her night truly, also he's probably feeling even more pissed 'cos cold air has hit him, like] Jimmy: [yeah that's always fun, thank god he didn't have time to get properly wasted cos Janis has enough catching up to do] Janis: [when you're low-key not even tipsy at this point 'cos the dramaaa] Jimmy: [Oh Jimothy you're clearly not serving as much of a look and you're too drunk, I'm disappointed in you] Janis: [we all know he looks good all the time it's rude] Jimmy: [get in this party and get her a drink boy but handholding cos coupleyness activated the second you're in] Jimmy: [I think he should share her drink because cute but also you don't need more rn and you know it but also he should put a song on he's worked out she likes so they can dance because remember when he thought a shit song started this lol] Janis: [make an entrance you two god bless so mad your mood about to get ruined lol] Jimmy: [omg can we say Harry is talking to Mia but bins her off for Janis when we need that to happen because funny and even funnier when they end up dating later] Janis: [ahh the levels of hate just going up every second, obvs needs to happen] Jimmy: [have your OTT dance moment first though like cos Mia cannot compete there even if she wanted to] Janis: [can't risk a collapse like] Jimmy: [literally how is she alive] Janis: [when he's probs shamelessly watching this but you don't notice 'cos 'course you don't] Jimmy: [he'd be so mad that this isn't a moment like soz jj are too busy having one] Janis: ['cos you think she's literally followed you here like oh God, hence she's gonna freak when she does actually see you're here like gotta go, maybe hit a bathroom again but drag Jimmy with you] Jimmy: [boy you wish she'd follow you anywhere bye] Jimmy: [meanwhile Jimmy just sitting in a bathtub like ?] Janis: [washing me and my clothes bitch, but seriously, just breathing so shallow like full freak out] Jimmy: [can't not notice so literally but very gently pulling her into the tub with him like sit down] Janis: [reluctantly getting in 'cos you're not ready to walk back through to get out even so may as well, leaning back and sighing like well] Jimmy: [taking off her jacket for her not in a saucy way cos that actually might help her feel better you think] Janis: [just rubbing at your now bare arms and straightening up your posture literally pulling yourself together like] Jimmy: [just giving her time cos not that dickhead who's gonna be like WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU TELL ME RN] Janis: ['I fucked up'] Jimmy: [looking at her like elaborate please, but in your own time cos still not that dickhead] Janis: [a look like I truly do not want to do that please lol 'there's someone here I don't wanna see, like more than all the other people I don't wanna see, like'] Jimmy: [nodding like okay that's all I need to hear, getting up like let's go as if they haven't just got there and peeps won't be like ?? or anything because he's not thinking about the fake just the real of what she just said even though it hasn't clicked with him that this could be anything to do with earlier because why would she not wanna see that person as far as he's concerned and putting a hand out to help her up and out too which he so doesn't need to do we see you boy] Janis: [is shaking her head like no wait then makes a 😒 face at herself 'cos does not wanna be this contrary bitch or this bitch freaking out ever but like, it's happened now so- 'we shouldn't go, I already fucked up earlier, we should make the most of that lot being here' 'cos obviously Mia also made herself #seen 'cos when doesn't she lol] Jimmy: [when you touch her 😒 face unthinkingly and softly which shakes you to your core because get control of yourself boy so you make a big show of checking yourself in the mirror for an age like okay I'm ready] Janis: [when you fuck up his hair 'cos a. just that bitch and b. you're meant to be getting it on in here so don't be looking all put together 'amateur' but with feeling] Jimmy: [returning the favour because 1. oi and 2. her hair would be a MESS if you had and everyone knows that and tying her jacket around his waist so he can carry it for her without having to and it's like that thing when boys wear girls scrunchies on their wrists and girls lose their minds] Janis: [raises a brow like what are you doing at first but then nods like touche, as much as you've just said you should make a show for the flat whites, when Mia is talking to Harry again you gotta be like, let's get another drink first ty, hopefully some of the others are in the kitchen] Jimmy: [when you're about to question it by typing cos would never out loud obvs cos you can clearly see 💀👑 but yeah then there are others in the kitchen so you go with that] Janis: [#dutchcourage, least you can be cute/in everyone's way by getting on the counter and just casually wrapping your long ass legs 'round him to 😍] Jimmy: [just gently kissing all those lovebites you made at party 1 making a big show of how sorry you are for each one like thanks for all the bare skin I can use to put on a show yet again bitch] Janis: [truly out here in a bra lmao the confidence] Jimmy: [we're all jealous as hell that she can and looks amazing doing it, especially the flat whites] Janis: [Asia like he wanted me first though lol] Jimmy: [oh girl you wish] Jimmy: [we should have him come into the kitchen to get drinks for him and Mia which she can't be fuming about even though we all know his real motives] Janis: [ugh the level of smug, knowing looks that just make her wanna die, leaning into Jimmy's ear and cupping her hand like she's whispering something saucy to him but is literally just hiding like go away] Jimmy: [when he whispers back but uses the opportunity to ask her if she's alright because not an idiot] Janis: [nods 'I just missed you too' when you say it loud enough it could be for the benefit of the audience but is it or nah, we'll never know] Jimmy: [when now isn't the time or place to push her on what's actually wrong so you just go harder instead which equally begs the question are you trying to distract her/make her feel better or is it for the audience] Janis: [just do the most 'til he says something or goes away kids, speaking of, kinda torn between him not saying anything because he thinks it'll happen again ('cos like it has been repeats thus far so fair) so he's just kinda like smug but not gonna outright be saying something dead obvious to Jimothy to start shit...or getting him that drunk that he does, 'cos we could do it when they're outside smoking or something so the whole party don't actually hear for once? idk] Jimmy: [I like that idea like he doesn't say anything here and now so she's like thank fuck I might have actually gotten away with this but then later when he's drunk he could be like about to go and wants her to go with him or whatever] Jimmy: [I also like the possibility that he could say something to Mia at any point #mildperil] Janis: [that's a good idea, bide your time, dickhead] Janis: [also we know she's snekky so instead of being like um why do you keep looking at her and being salty she can probably get something out of him, she's smart and he ain't really so] Jimmy: [yeah that's what I thought and she'd love knowing that Janis 'cheated' this early on for JJ so] Janis: [exactly, hence she can nudge Harry into making that post after the basketball match drama] Jimmy: [OMG yeah I never even thought of that] Janis: [masterminding] Jimmy: [ironically Harry getting with Mia cos she doesn't play games which he thinks Janis is rn] Janis: [lmao good luck with that you already being played now and you got no clue] Jimmy: [I almost feel sorry for him but he didn't need to post those nudes so I don't] Janis: [mhmm honey] Jimmy: [live your best life at this party til later though JJ my babes] Janis: [hells yeah] Jimmy: [it hurts my heart cos they'd both relax thinking shit's okay now and be actually having a good time, fuck you Harold] Janis: [he probably thinks whomever it was has gone, like] Jimmy: [yeah exactly and like not gonna think about it too hard cos her mood has clearly changed and that's the important thing] Janis: [is there anything we wanna do specifically or, how we doing this?] Jimmy: [I think we can probably just skip to when Harry fucks things up because we know the vibe but yeah how do we wanna do that like maybe we can just plot out how it would have gone and see from there cos like she might run away or Jimmy might smack him we don't know lol] Jimmy: [like what do you think he should say/do?] Janis: [Hmm, like you said maybe he comes over and is like okay come back with me though, like enough 'games' now and is ignoring Jimmy so obvs he's like excuse you piss off then when Janis is also like fuck off no so then he's salty and says something when he's walking away like 'tell me how my dick tastes' 'cos he would] Jimmy: [well that's lovely thank you Harry, you're so getting smacked now boy cos his ex was a hoe and he doesn't need to be triggered like that] Janis: [when the worst you were expecting happened and a hoe gotta go] Jimmy: [clearly should try and follow her because how's that gonna look if she leaves without him but doesn't because literally doesn't care about any of that in the moment obvs] Janis: [we're not keeping up the act rn, hopefully there were minimal people about and we can just call Harry a liar later like he's not a trustworthy bitch peeps be known] Jimmy: [yeah I doubt there were many people outside and they'd all be drunk af whoever were and like you said he's not coming through with proof but I hope Janis ain't going to mcvickers gaff cos if Jimothy is going home they'd have to go the same way lol] Janis: [lol imagine, I'll make her run off in a different direction don't worry] Jimmy: [poor bitch she doesn't need the awkward walk of shame] Janis: [she know some places, go work out that aggression again, not that you can but you know] Jimmy: [mhmmm god only knows what Jimothy is gonna do when he gets home cos you can't just casually go to sleep like this is fine] Janis: [I'm like what are you gonna do, what are you gonna say, oh girl] Jimmy: [and how long are you gonna leave it to have the convo too like] Janis: [right, when you wanna do it now to say it, but then you're like, he's not gonna wanna and you're scared too but you don't wanna leave it too long, gay] Janis: [gaaaaaaaaaay 🙄 GAH grammarly GAH ] Jimmy: [he's gonna have to act like he's so not bothered cos it's such early days I'm gonna die] Janis: [okay, I'm gonna say next morning, torture yourself, and inadvertently him, all night] Jimmy: [yassss] Janis: Hey Jimmy: Morning Janis: You alright? Janis: sorry about that idiot last night Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: If you're gonna apologise for every dickhead from last night, do it in a bit, I'm short on time Janis: I won't take on accountability for every cunt, like Janis: just that one Jimmy: Alright Janis: Yeah Janis: you at work? Jimmy: Nah Janis: Oh, alright Janis: well, my bad then Jimmy: I'm in later if you wanna erase your guilt using the tip jar Jimmy: might have another fight in me if it's for 💰💰💰 Janis: Come on Jimmy: what? Janis: Don't take the piss, like Janis: I'm trying to say sorry properly Janis: it was fucking embarrassing Jimmy: he's 💔 give it him Janis: He's an idiot Jimmy: who here ain't? Jimmy: yet to meet 'em, me Janis: Best of luck on that score Jimmy: Tah Janis: I appreciate you punching him regardless Jimmy: it weren't for you Janis: Obviously Janis: still Janis: and he chats shit all the time so, no one will care to remember if they heard anything Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Hopefully they're all too hungover to show their faces in CG today 🤞 Jimmy: 💀👑 don't get hangovers Jimmy: she'd have to swallow Janis: Do spirits have calories 🤔 Janis: oh 👻 Jimmy: give her a bell, you'll have your answer Janis: I'm not feeling that guilty Janis: no need to punish myself like that Jimmy: I get it, you're a fake catholic an' all Jimmy: nowt's real with you Janis: Bit harsh Jimmy: is it? Janis: Yeah Janis: we don't know each other like that Jimmy: 🎻🎻💔🎻💔 Janis: Don't be a dick about it Jimmy: we don't know each other like that Jimmy: I ain't gonna be nice to you, Jill Janis: Alright Janis: well I've said what I need to say so that's that then Jimmy: In a bit then Janis: 👌 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: yeah right Jimmy: [posts something extra like mhmm yeah right] Janis: [as extra a response like this convo isn't even going this badly rn] Jimmy: [being even more extra back like gotta remind her how fake this is and how much you don't care] Janis: [oh lads, just a back and forth] Jimmy: [for ages like is anyone but Mia THIS invested] Janis: [the answer is no[ Jimmy: [but like it's also shade on his part cos it's like him saying we've done this so now I don't have to see you today, job done] Janis: [we know it and she knows it honey] Jimmy: [and we know the flirty undertone that's real af isn't there that usually is, they are so phoning this in rn] Janis: [this is so sad tbh] Jimmy: [what if they run into each other somewhere that they don't expect to idk where but like they can't pretend they haven't seen each other cos other people have seen them but like it's not a party so can't be that OTT] Janis: [where could it be hmm] Jimmy: [like it could be something he's taking either of his siblings to even but then why is Janis there 🤔] Janis: [tis the issue, unless we go for the park, like we always do but it's real, and if we make it a nice day, teens would be hanging to peep 'em] Jimmy: [oh true] Janis: [I can't think of anywhere else they'd both be and other people to see, 'cos I was thinking we could steal when Ellie was doing the family shop 'cos Janis could do it too for something to do but idk if any other teens would really be there to the level you'd be like 'we must go 'round this shop together' maybe when they're more 😍 again though] Jimmy: [yeah unless like someone worked there and clocked them but even then a bit of a flimsy excuse probably] Janis: ['cos I doubt any of the flat whites are working in a supermarket so yeah] Jimmy: [exactly and my other thought was maybe it was the pool or like a sports thing but Janis already did the school trip for extra credit so I doubt she'd have to do anything else] Janis: [unless she is just there working out 'cos said about being underwater and not able to hear shit so good throwback] Jimmy: [OOOH] Janis: [also the levels of awks like oh hi we're all just here in our swimsuits lollll we're mean but it makes sense, especially if there's like a kid's holiday deal or some shit you know the vibe] Jimmy: [I'm just imagining in angus thongs when her tan 😂] Janis: [thank god you ain't that hoe lmao] Jimmy: [if Asia is there though lol she is] Jimmy: [she could totally have a little sister and be there like] Janis: [just swimming like a mum] Jimmy: [sending Mia JJ updates with her waterproof phone cos that bitch don't swim so she ain't gonna be there] Janis: [when you just want the ground to swallow you up and you're just saying and looking like I am SO sorry whenever you can 'cos you can't just leave] Jimmy: [casually regretting giving her all those lovebites last night now cos that's all you can see and it's not helping you pretend to be unbothered haha] Jimmy: [thank god 😒 is his default expression] Janis: [up in this pool like a woman shamed in so many ways lol, at least the kids are there for some distraction] Jimmy: [we know Bobby is a shy clingy lad so that'd take a lot of his focus and save us all from dying even more than we are, Cass just trying to drown him cos she's mad he stayed out for ages last night too probably]] Janis: [and you're a #seriousathlete so you can go do some laps without Asia clocking anything God bless] Jimmy: [I really hope the Cass and Jimmy playfight splashes Asia and she gets her hair wet] Janis: [the least she deserves for enabling this awkward rn] Jimmy: [imagine how annoying her little sister would be, stay away from her Bobert you are too sweet] Janis: [fucking little Europe or some shit Jimmy: [We should do China or America cos both on this list I just found] Janis: [ew hate/love that] Jimmy: [maybe there's two of them oh lord] Janis: [Grace be so jelly] Jimmy: [not making them twins though cos she would die] Janis: [forever triggered lol] Jimmy: [I'm thinking one around Bobby's age and then one older but still younger than Cass like] Janis: [sounds legit to me, should we skip forward or try to do this a bit and see what happens, idm] Jimmy: [at least if there's two of them she'd be busy herself so she can't stalk them as hard, I say why not try and see what happens] Janis: [so obviously we wanna do races, who can hold their breath longest, handstands, whatever other tricks you can do in a pool] Jimmy: [Cass throwing her key on the bottom to swim for it, Jimmy like no bitch cos she always loses em and he'd have to get so many cut without encouraging that behaviour] Janis: [gotta lay down the law with a child just attached to you lol God bless] Jimmy: [how awks because this is so early on so like they know nothing about each other's lives and Cass has probably instantly decided she hates Janis and Bobby is like 👀 deer in headlights] Janis: [we're all dying lol like Asia please leave] Jimmy: [Jimmy like neither of you say anything about our missing maybe dead mum or dickhead father please while trying not to betray how he feels about this fake dating/ Harry situation...so chill] Janis: [the stress good lord] Jimmy: [thank god he does have work later I said so he can use that as excuse to leave sooner than he actually needs] Janis: [Asia probably gon follow] Jimmy: [ugh true so then he has to ask Janis if she wants to come so she can hear because 😍 obvs] Janis: [at least she'll have the sense to make up an excuse 'cos we don't need to prolong this casual torture lol] Jimmy: [and at least he has his sibs there so the 'goodbye' doesn't have to be extra af] Janis: [at least we're buying ourselves more fake dating time here 'cos the awks and anger] Jimmy: [I'm proud of us but I'm sorry lads before he goes you've gotta have hot chocolate like I always did after swimming I don't make the law] Janis: [my boo insists, also the kids obvs, like he doesn't work in a cafe and you could swing by there, no no] Jimmy: [yeah fuck your pretentious latte art bitch] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: the ☕️? Janis: not bad but don't reckon they'll replace you with a 🤖 quite yet Jimmy: 💧 on my apron Janis: no doubt help with the 💸💸 tips Jimmy: they'd be more 😍 for 💦 or ☔ Janis: too nice a day for the latter Jimmy: [shrugs cos it's april so could happen] Janis: shouldn't have dried your hair Janis: very music video Jimmy: [when you're amused but you have to hide it so you get your phone out for selfies like she gave you the idea cos tbh not trying to get put on a register by taking 📷 in the pool] Janis: [🙄 but 😏] Jimmy: [casual selfie sesh and then busying yourself putting them up like] Janis: never off the clock, eh Jimmy: two jobs'll do that Janis: wouldn't know Jimmy: bit rude to rub it in, rich girl Jimmy: this ain't a 🎻 sorta place Janis: just the kinda rich girl I am Jimmy: You're alright, I'll keep the 🔪 in my back out of shot, know enough 📷 angles, me Janis: it's really bad manners to bleed everywhere, you know Jimmy: I know how to clean up after myself,  that'll be the kinda poor boy I am Janis: 🚫🎻 Janis: you said Jimmy: I weren't saying it to 💔 you Jimmy: not my job Janis: just saying, follow your own rules Jimmy: make me 😘 Janis: not really got room to lecture there Jimmy: room for nowt 🦒 Jimmy: 🚫🎻 Janis: don't be short about it Janis: you're almost entirely in the right, you may as well take it Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: almost Jimmy: I've done nowt wrong 😇 me Janis: Nah Janis: you told me to do it Jimmy: convenient that Janis: is it? Janis: doubt that Jimmy: for you Janis: Yeah, clearly Jimmy: dry your eyes, mate Jimmy: were obvs such a good idea at the time Janis: You only set all this bullshit up for failure, not me Jimmy: how did I? Janis: You literally said it was fine Janis: I was the one saying it'd probably fuck it up Janis: I did it and I've tried to make it up but you don't care and you're offering no solutions so fuck it Jimmy: we don't need owt 'cause nobody knows owt and even if he says owt it'll sound like bollocks Jimmy: sort your head out Janis: yeah 'cos it's ideal for you to have to punch out lads all the time Jimmy: might be Jimmy: might make my dad proud of me Jimmy: a scrap might just be a laugh Janis: you want me to say you're welcome then Janis: alright, that's that then Jimmy: want you to carry round a 🪥 next time you fancy cracking on with dickheads like that Jimmy: but alright Janis: cheers Janis: you give great advice Jimmy: might do, if we were mates Janis: well we obviously aren't Jimmy: 😮😮😮 Janis: whatever Janis: [making these awkward goodbyes] Jimmy: [when you don't want her to go even though this is awful] Janis: [when you cannot take any more though] Jimmy: [pulling her back like he wanted to last night but couldn't cos he can pretend it's so fake lol lol lol] Janis: [when you're like 'what?' all light and jokey for the fake but then you look at him like actually though] Jimmy: [boy quick tell your face, Daniel will be livid, that you're giving yourself away like this] Janis: [just in a stare-off rn] Jimmy: [leaning in like he's gonna kiss her but obvs can't cos too real rn so he's like 'stop being a dickhead' in a whisper like that's what he was gonna do all along] Janis: [when you're actually like stunned lmao 'great advice as always, Taylor' under your breath and then a faker 'see you later' moment for the rest] Jimmy: [😏 because annoying her is easier and safer as is blowing her a kiss like bye babe] Janis: 🖕 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: you're so irritating Janis: please don't need me for another 3-5 working days yeah Jimmy: I gave you an out, girl Jimmy: It ain't my fault that lad's 🏆 an' all Janis: I knew he was a dickhead before I did it Janis: not 💔 Jimmy: massively your type every 3-5 working days Janis: you reckon, do you Jimmy: you just said Janis: I didn't Janis: I said I knew he was one, not that I was about it Jimmy: if you weren't about it you wouldn't have done it Jimmy: unless you're not about this, and if that's it, take your out Janis: 'cos those are the only two possibilities Janis: I'm 😍 or sick of this and ain't got the balls to say it Janis: well it's neither, tah Jimmy: I never said you were 😍 Janis: alright, my type, whatever, it's the same thing Jimmy: if you wanna get with lads then you obvs ain't gay so we don't need to do this anymore, that's what I'm saying Jimmy: he'd have been happy enough to brag about how straight you are Jimmy: next time take a 📷 and you're 👍 Janis: you really think that thought had never occurred to me prior to this? Janis: if I wanted that, I would've done it ages ago Janis: not my first time, whatever popular opinion dictates Jimmy: weren't gonna chuck you a penny for 'em, my dear Jimmy: If I wanted to wait around at some shit party while another lad sorts out the lass I'm with, I'd have my ex back Jimmy: not my first time at that Janis: all you had to do was say no Janis: not even, just agree with what I was saying Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: tell yourself no, I'm not your fucking conscience Janis: conscience has got nothing to do with it Janis: obviously it'd be wrong if we were actually together Janis: but it's fake so it's just a matter of logistics and if you say you don't care then that's what I'm going on Jimmy: I've got nowt to do with it Janis: Jesus, yes you do, this is a deal between me and you Jimmy: that you were acting put upon about all night so yeah it were fine, to get you to stop marding for 5 seconds Janis: so now it's your turn? Janis: that's a mature way to deal with shit Jimmy: I'd have legged it but you beat me to that, Janet Janis: 'cos you were well in a talking mood Jimmy: I took that hint from you ages before, that'll be why Janis: I tried Janis: this is some bullshit Janis: I tried before, and after, and both times it was all good except it clearly fucking ain't Jimmy: how about you try not to put me in the path of lads you wanna fuck? or have or will do Janis: It weren't even Janis: fine Janis: I'm sorry Jimmy: It weren't even what, that you couldn't have called me after you were done? Jimmy: Bollocks Janis: No Janis: I didn't think of it from that perspective, alright, that's fair Janis: this shit is a headfuck Janis: it's not like there are rules, that I've done this loads, enough to navigate it perfectly Jimmy: the only rule is that we don't mess each other about Jimmy: helping each other out is the whole point Janis: Yeah Janis: I seriously didn't think it would, believe that or not Janis: he hasn't bragged about it before but lesson learned Jimmy: I weren't here to mug off before Janis: No Janis: well, like we said, no one's gonna listen to him so as far as damage control goes Jimmy: I heard you the first hundred times you told me that Jimmy: there's no damage control for all the 🕧 waiting around for you in different parts of that massive house Janis: then tell me what I can do Jimmy: if we ain't gonna be in the same room for longer than 10 mins don't bother to invite me Jimmy: there's your answer Janis: alright Janis: I'm not going to do that again, not that you asked but Jimmy: He'd have you back, I never hit him that hard Janis: shut up Jimmy: Alright don't, you can do better Janis: we can all see what he is Jimmy: I weren't giving him 😍 soz to piss on that threesome you had your 🤞 for Janis: 🤢 Janis: stop Jimmy: you can give it all that after you let me be all over you when you were all over that dickhead? Top one Jimmy: if any dickhead's 🤢🤢 it's me Janis: it were complicated Janis: yeah, we should've left Janis: I just Jimmy: weren't trying to have a chat then were you? Jimmy: not a word Janis: so that was selfish Janis: never said I weren't Jimmy: just Janis: I'm sorry Janis: I should've gone when you offered Janis: I wanted the night to be worth it somehow though Jimmy: What does that mean? Janis: Like you said, we'd barely been in the same room so Janis: would've been a wasted night if we left then Jimmy: I'd take a wasted night night over a weird one Janis: Yeah Janis: it made sense at the time Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't emoji at me Jimmy: Or what? Janis: I dunno but I was close to absolving some guilt Janis: bit rude Jimmy: save it for confession, babe Jimmy: I'm in black but that's where the similarity ends Janis: I've never been Jimmy: first time's the charm, Nah? Or is that the third? Jimmy: I dunno 😴 Janis: Cheers Janis: I really have to ask for eternal forgiveness before you're gonna bother Jimmy: If you were my real girlfriend, ain't getting The Lord involved for owt less Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: sorry your ex was a bitch too Jimmy: leave it out Janis: just saying Jimmy: me an' all Jimmy: it ain't your problem and she ain't been mine for ages either Janis: okay Janis: still Janis: shit Jimmy: shut up Janis: 🤐 Jimmy: Doubt that Janis: Oh now I talk too much Janis: convenient Jimmy: yeah well chatty, you Jimmy: never know when to stop Janis: yeah well Janis: one of us has to keep the conversation going Jimmy: so #goals girl Janis: Obviously Janis: I feel like my fucking sister right about now Jimmy: Has she been with him an' all? Jimmy: taking the #twinning a bit far there, mate Janis: I hope not Janis: I dunno why you'd make me think of that Janis: I just meant general slagginess and regret Jimmy: I reckon you'd know, hardly the type to keep that to himself Jimmy: Why do you regret it? You said you knew he were a massive twat Janis: I don't know Janis: 'cos he's made me look stupid Jimmy: Only in front of me and I knew you were an idiot 😏 Janis: Thanks Janis: very supportive Jimmy: Do you want me to belt him again? Janis: Only if you feel like it Janis: but it ain't really about him Jimmy: not what I asked, 'cause nah, it ain't about him Janis: No Janis: If you never have to think about him again, that's best for me Jimmy: That all I can do you for, Jules? Jimmy: you don't fancy an overpriced latte or owt, I get that Jimmy: 🌹? Janis: Am I that demanding? Jimmy: Do you want a fake answer there or what? Janis: Cheek Janis: and after you dared to offer me a latte as well Jimmy: I never Janis: Hmm Janis: likely story Jimmy: what's tonight's? Jimmy: we in or out? Janis: I reckon we've done enough to earn a night off Jimmy: Alright Janis: don't you Jimmy: I asked you Janis: Yeah, and I asked you back Jimmy: and I said alright Janis: alright Jimmy: 👍 Janis: Try not to kill yourself at work today Jimmy: And be stuck haunting the CG, you're alright Janis: and you ain't allowed without me Janis: more importantly Jimmy: 💕 Jimmy: You're the only one I wanna haunt, baby Janis: Yeah, I better be Jimmy: You are Jimmy: 💔 as Asia is about it Janis: she's lucky I didn't drown her Jimmy: If you really loved me, you would Janis: always coming out with this after the fact, aren't you Jimmy: What's more #goals than murdering a love rival? Jimmy: if you dunno that, Jasmine, I dunno what we're even doing here Janis: Rival is a stretch Janis: if you reckon that then you only gotta ask her Jimmy: Calm it down, bighead Jimmy: The DM asking her to attach ankle weights in the deep end has already been sent Janis: gonna be 😭 over her cankles forever now Jimmy: I were 😭😭😭 first Janis: you mean you didn't just have chlorine in your eyes? Janis: awkward Jimmy: it were already awkward Jimmy: leave my 👀 out of it, tah Janis: but they're so dreamy Jimmy: Send tweet Janis: 😏 Janis: working overtime for you, boy Jimmy: I asked you what you wanted, you never answered, girl Janis: I don't know the menu Jimmy: I have to do everything, I see how it is Janis: You wanted demanding, babe Jimmy: 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: Idiot Jimmy: Stop flirting with me for 1 second so I can make you a drink! Janis: Bet that's what you say to all the customers Jimmy: Depends Janis: if you like it or nah, sure Jimmy: Nah, what I like is nowt to do with it Janis: Tips? Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: that's kinda fucked, you stop and think about it Jimmy: I don't get long enough breaks to stop and think Janis: Poor baby Janis: I've got all the time in the world to ponder for you Jimmy: just keep rubbing it in, you Janis: 😂 Janis: you know you'd hate it if I weren't a rich girl Jimmy: You ain't paying me nowt last I checked Janis: you'd have nothing to take the piss out of me for if I weren't Janis: worth it's weight in gold, surely Jimmy: 😂 Jimmy: Bollocks would I not Janis: Bollocks would you Janis: I'm 🥇 Jimmy: You're 🥈 Janis: Psh, fuck you Jimmy: And you're only that 'cause my 🥇 makes you look good Janis: Oh please Janis: you must've bumped your head 'cos you sound downright delusional now Jimmy: Beg all you like you ain't having the 🏆 til you pry it out of my 💀💀💀 hands Janis: Me? Beg? You? Janis: now you're hearing things Jimmy: I can barely read and I still saw that please, girl Jimmy: Felt it an' all Janis: shut up Janis: I was asking the LORD to give you some sense, that's all Jimmy: Convenient that Jimmy: Getting him involved again Janis: I'm a good friend and a good Christian 😇 Jimmy: You ain't either, unless you were chatting shit earlier Janis: Who knows Jimmy: He gonna deliver this drink to you on a ☁ or what? Janis: If only Janis: not a service you provide either, I suppose? Jimmy: I could do Janis: Impressive Janis: if dubious Jimmy: Depends where you want it Janis: 😍😍🤤🤤 Janis: I'll come get it, not that much of an arsehole, usually Jimmy: You're still not having 🥇 Janis: not even if I say please AND thank you? Jimmy: Go on Jimmy: I'll see how I feel Janis: 🔮 so mysterious Jimmy: Old news that Jimmy: And not what I'm waiting to hear off you Janis: You'll be old news, soon 🤞 Jimmy: 💔 Janis: that's the whole point, yeah Janis: or do I accuse you of being closeted too Jimmy: can do Janis: I'm bigger and better than that 🥇😇 Jimmy: 👏 Janis: you thought I was gay too then Jimmy: Why would I? Janis: You tell me Jimmy: Nowt to tell Jimmy: I don't know you Janis: Neither does anyone else who's reached the conclusion Janis: it's not personal Jimmy: Alright, I don't think about you as much as they do Janis: 🙄 Janis: they don't think that much period Janis: but my sexual history ain't playground knowledge so obviously Jimmy: Who started it? Janis: I dunno Janis: you know how it is, only one person needs to say it once Janis: pack mentality bullshit Jimmy: It'll be a lad you didn't wanna get with or a lass who's fuming you're fitter than her Janis: That don't narrow it down Janis: bighead, remember Jimmy: 😏 Janis: whatever Jimmy: is it? Janis: I mean, Bill said it best Janis: telling everyone I ain't wouldn't do shit but make it seem like I was Janis: why else would I have agreed to this Jimmy: 'Cause I'm so fit and mysterious obvs Janis: 😂 Janis: I'm not Asia Jimmy: I know 😭💔 Janis: Could've asked, dickhead Jimmy: She has a BOYFRIEND, Jenna Janis: She wants a NEW ONE Jimmy: duh Janis: ask her then Janis: she'll have so many good ideas Jimmy: 🙄 Jimmy: Fucking hell, I'd sooner put up with your bad ones Janis: Gee, thanks for the reminder Jimmy: 😘 Janis: no one is there, right Janis: like, no one who's gonna want a show Jimmy: What do you think? Janis: hold on then Jimmy: 👌 Janis: 🖐 Jimmy: 👀 Janis: how do you live like this Jimmy: What? Janis: having to be around them, even in the holidays Janis: without going postal Jimmy: I ain't got a choice Jimmy: What kind of question is that? Janis: I know, still doesn't mean I get how you do it Jimmy: What's to get? It's a job, even rich girls know how they work Janis: Never mind Jimmy: No, go on Janis: Nah Jimmy: We're back to 🙀 are we? Janis: Nah, we're back to there's no point 'cos you always act like you're so superior when that's not even what I'm saying Janis: so forget it Jimmy: The point is that I serve dickheads all day Jimmy: Mia wishes she could take the 👑 Janis: And you can never just say that Jimmy: They're the centre of your 🌎 not mine Janis: Keep the drink Jimmy: I don't want it Janis: Neither do I Janis: another customer to complain about Jimmy: You can have that 🥇 at least Jimmy: well done Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: Later Jimmy: Yeah