#slowly falling apart again

[razzle-zazzle]

Fighting the first movie tooth and nail trying to figure out how it all goes down.

I am not winning 😞

#between au #dreamworks trolls #main issue is that poppy and branch DON'T KNOW EACH OTHER prior to poppy arriving at bergentown #so the true colors scene DOESN'T WORK the way it does in canon #but i need branch to sing again dammit‚ his whole arc in this movie is taking his ''i am a BERGEN i am NOT A TROLL'' mentality #and shaking it vigorously until he comes to understand that he's both and neither and that's okay #like i know what i want for AFTER the events of the movie (pop village and bergentown as allies‚ trollstice & chef dead & gone) #but i need to know how to GET THERE IN THE CONFINES OF THE MOVIE (chef finds trolls‚ trollstice almost happens #poppy negotiates peace between their kingdoms like the girlboss she is) #just branch BEING THERE in the scene where chef shoves creek into gristle's mouth could change everything so so much #bc would creek still be yoinked and shoved into gristle's mouth??? would he still get the chance to show his true colors????? #AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA #possible idea is to retcon the timeline so that gristle senior is still there in the movie‚ but slowly dying from illness while his son #is acting king and falling apart under the pressure #but then i still need to figure out how the fuck poppy's role fits into that #there's just. gdmt branch why must you make everything so much more complicated #branch and his complexity addiction smh

[ayakashibackstreet]

You know what, joining that Discord show club was a great idea, like half of my favourite PKC folks are there. And is there anything more wholesome than someone going '1!! hey, I remember that dog!! she's adorable, I'm glad she's doing well!' about a little pixel friend they made for you years ago?

#someone also said they liked one of my older petz that I got from a member of the Polish Petz community back in the day #and we went on to reminiscent about how the community used to be back then #honestly? in a way that talk is the closest thing I'll ever get to closure in regards to what happened with the PKC #and I think that with that I can actually try and move on #even though it's pretty damn tough when a niche site that's been around since you were born just...... falls apart due to technical issues #but I've done it before. SHiR felt like it would never go away too after all #and I was there with PTI practically since the very beginning and until the very end #anyways the Petz community is still so vibrant and cool #it hurts but it'll heal. It somehow hurts way more now that I'm an adult though. #maybe because now the Polish Petz community basically /has/ no home? and I've known some of those people since I was 11? #still.... all good things must come an end and I can accept it. I feel I'm slowly getting closer to that point. #maybe I'll slowly warm up to the concept of using my RKC account ahahaha.... the RKC people were always really nice after all #the Petz community at large won't die anytime soon I don't think. Most of us have been here for at least 10 years after all. #a huge chunk of them for 20+ years #again. some people have been here longer than I've been alive #it's not something that can entirely disappear

[cursedthing]

i love putting my characters into situations but maybe sometimes i shouldn't.

#rethinking maybe i SHOULDN'T put Nome in. in a mind hellscape where they are slowly falling apart while being forced to watch their friends #nearly die over and over again. and them being forced to be an observer in all of those situatiions #ok yeah now that i actually say it outloud I really shouldn't do thAT. #like the original thought was haha what if they saw their friends memories from when THEY were trapped in mindscapes #and what if Nome can't do anything but be an observer? #like at first it was just a funny little thought but then i started expanding on it and only now i'm realizing that MAYBE IT SHOULD STAY #JUST A ''WHAT IF'' SCENARIO. #AND NOT BE INCLUDED IN THE ACTUAL STORY #Nome already faced a lot of horrors and honestly I'd rather not have them face any more unnecessary horrors #it's time for me to like. write how they go to the train station or something not slowly die in a torture mindscape. #they love trains maybe i should focus on the friendship dynamics they have with the art group that they go to #ines screams into the void

[bnuuybot]

sometimes in the evenings i get sad realizing i didn’t speak face to face with a friend that day but then i remember i used to get sad over not speaking face to face with a friend for weeks or months and that helps a little bit

#maybe speaking face to face with a friend daily is ambitious for most adults #but i’m still in college so it feels like seeing friends daily is the norm #i just need more friends #i feel like i’m inching towards some idealized version of myself so slowly #so slow that when i get there graduation will be next week and it’ll all fall apart and i’ll start from zero again #worse than zero #because as a Real Adult with a job it’ll be so much harder to make time for friends #this is supposed to be the most social and happy part of my life #and yet i’m a junior and spend the majority of my time alone #fuck

[dirt-str1der]

Btw shinada is by far one of my favorite yakuza character, i think he is one of the very few characters that got an actual decent closure

Yeah ...... it didnt un-ruin his life but like it was satisfying at least .... but his whole story arc was crazy (in a good way) like god ...

#Thanks for the ask ! #Yakuza liveplay #this isnt about shinada because i want to talk about kiryu but he seems like a walking horror story to me. a man with his strings cut will #just keep falling ... like theres nobody to catch kiryu and he made sure of that himself #i think kiryu wont die. people will just keep throwing themselves in front of bullets meant for him until the group of people he can trust #and talk to slowly dwindle to nothing. he knows its because of him. i think kiryu will eventually stop trying to force his story in another #direction. he will keep walking until theres nobody behind him to follow. there is literally no end in sight for him no valiant death or #sacrifice he can close his book with. someone will keep bringing him back he will keep walking into pitfalls he cant afford the #gravitational pull of a big problem itll just keep drawinf him in until hes right in the heart of it and then he can pull it all apart and #he starts all over again with the next city the next family the next villain. kiryu will never rest and its in part his fault. just a little #he said it before. men like him dont get to choose what to do with their lives. they dont belong to themselves. like kiryu has stayed alive #in the scariest possible way. hes dead on record hes basically a ghost among the living. he cant live as himself his name doesnt belong to #him anymore (unless hes inputing his high score for karaoke) he drifts along until the next guy hooks him out #of the flow and puts him to work. and hes always happy to work because theres literally nothing else for him to do #i know people want him to retire but the lack of closure for him is so compelling to me .... #kiryu will die alone. he’ll see to that himself

[mollyjimbly]

i don't want to be perceived as "old" or "young" i just want to be perceived as me!

is that too much to ask for? ☹️

#guess whos #irrationally scared of aging #again!! #meee! #im just afraid that #i won't be listened to #and taken seriously #and ofc #yk my worries about having my interests #and whether ill be bullied for that #oh and i can't wait for my body to slowly fall apart 😍 #why do we have to age #ageism #aging #gatekeeping #molly☔️ speaks #JUST LEAVE PEOPLE THE FUCK ALONE AND LET THEM HAVE THEIR INTERESTS AND HOBBIES #idfc if they are 90 #if they are happy and not hurting anyone #who the fuck cares #young at heart #thats what i want to be

[evanox]

Bit late to the party,, but I have to say while it makes sense that lumity won over raeda given that the former are the face of toh,, it's still insane to me that they won over raeda

#youre gonna give me childhood friends slowly falling in love #having to part ways bc one of them is terrified of their curse and keeps pushing down that part of themself for fear of hurting their lovr #love* #only to actually hurt them bc all this hiding makes them feel so distant #and though circumstances pushed them apart for years fate still brought them back together #reunited by the same thing that brought them back together: rebellion against authority #and now their roles are reversed; one lying to protect the other #after the first one finally embraced who they are #and then tell me thats less meaningful than whatever lumity have? #the angst! the drama! the passion! #and so much of fictional romance is written for younger characters #so seeing these two older characters bloom into two wonderful people at their own pace and find love again years l8r #lumity might be the face of toh but raeda will always have much more compelling dynamic and writing

[chronal-anomaly]

Oh man what if I wrote the hc that Lena doesn't actually age, but her body does deteriorate over time??

But I won't

#older #basically shes got a lot of physical ( and mental tbh) trauma from all the shit she does #so while she'll always look 26 her body will just slowly start to fall apart #she can get greys from stress but not from age #( it also means shes unlikely to die of old age and that Someone Will Have To End It ) #most days now shes fine but man as she gets #another reason she doesn't like to celebrate her birthday #this is spitting in the face of canon and idc #one of the writers says she does age but then they literally didnt change the model at all (except a sharper jaw) between ow1 and 2 #so fuck blizz and fuck canon Lena is 26 forever (until shes not) #but she still has done a lot of damage to her body so she has aches and pains like a sonnuvabitch #might write a drabble later ngl #( ooc. ) #once again just pure Vibes #i just love her sm

[prefrontal-bastard]

I’ve worked on the darkness of my mind for years and years, all to experience these small moments of minimal dissociation. Little by little, my mind is learning what it feels like to be filled with sunlight.

#chatter #personal #I will forget this again #but it will slowly become easier and easier to return to #may my mind fall so in love with itself that it never wants to be apart

[the-furies]

once again am considering just buying a new tablet

#talky #i found a cute one thts super portable & v recently released so. hopefully if need be any pen nibs will be compatible w its pen fuaiskfjfj #I'm gonna measure my current tablet later & see how big it is screen-wise bc th one I'm looking @ is 13.3 inches #probs way smaller than my current tablet actually idk. idk shit or fuck. but it has buttons on the side & my current one doesn't so ??? #also it comes in pink omg <3. lov that #it's $233.74 which‚‚ i suppose isn't too too expensive for a tablet w a screen in it yeah? again idk shit or fuck #mom said she'll be able to get me a cpu like this Week but... what if asked for tablet instead. #I can genuinely wait for a cpu for idk how long. but for a new tablet no vjjskdjfjd mine is literally slowly falling apart now #I'll ask her abt it today later. I've got.... well. If we're buying off amazon then I've got 50$ plus a 50$ American Express gift card. #along with. 20$ in physical cash. which iiiissssss 120$ right there #I think I have 50$ in amazon cash lemme cjeck #bweeghffj nvm just checked. only got a 25$ gift card for amazon. but still 95$? isn't. horrible #amd hell if shit works out they might just buy me both anyway for some reason i Don't know jaajdkcn. #I'm almost at 25ish on sb too so it won't take too too long to get 100$ or so anyways #tl;dr if I have to wait til Christmas to get a new cpu despite me being annoying abt it all year then idc. #could not wait 3 more months for a new tablet though

[beaversatemygrandma]

SO. You guys know how a lot of the music played during the era of Woodstock was very pro-civil rights? Just common knowledge at this point i think. I ended up getting Really Into classic rock recently (You sit down and listen to the entirety of The Wall once and this happens... highly recommend btw.) and there’s one song that has been really getting to me.

I’d Love to Change the World by Ten Years After from ‘71 I heard a recent remixed version of the song a while back, by Jetta I think, and I was never able to understand the lyrics bc, ya know, remixed. And hearing the original. Wow. Okay. This song hits So Close To Home. Short, sweet, to the point: Tax the Rich, Feed the Poor; Until There are No Rich No More. (Yes, further in, it is an Anti-War song, but that’s even applicable.)

And well, this got some thoughts going for me. Positive ones potentially for the future. So, back then was the Huge Civil Rights movements, AIDS epidemic, Stonewall, etc. (The Summer of ‘69 was a big one, Idk about the song, but the literal time? Yep.) And during that time, So Many People fighting were killed and silenced, but gained a public support (kind of, they at least don’t want us dying anymore). And well, a generation passes, we’re back to where we were in the ‘60s and ‘70s. The young are yet again asking, “Hey, can we live?” While the rich are consistently fucking anybody who doesn’t have a million in their pocket over.

This thought came up: In the future, it’ll be good. The slow efforts that have picked up over two generations of people are building. We’re a step further than we were before. Sure, it seems hopeless right now with how harshly they’re attacking civil rights. But keep in mind: The Kids Are Okay. Once those kids are all grown up, with how hard they’re fighting, one day these kids are going to be in control. They will be the generation of change. I’m sure by the time we’re all old and tired of fighting, we’ll finally have some good come around and finally live comfortably. These kids are pushing hard against those towering over. And hell, I shouldn’t be saying ‘kids’. They’re nearly adults and some even at my age (early 20s). They’re already working their way up. They’ve recognized the hostility. Now in the days where there are protections in place, movements will happen. One day, perhaps within the next twenty years, things will be okay. Life and happiness will be attainable no matter how far away it seems right now. If you keep up and keep fighting alongside them, you too will be able to see this.

And honestly, this thought is keeping me going now. The world may be hostile right now, but as generations have seen, we will keep moving up as history repeats itself. It may be bad currently, but we will survive.

One day, within our lifetimes, it will be okay. Don’t quit now.

#taks speaks #it's just some thoughts i had at like 2am last night #bc i was listening to that song half awake and oddly feeling positive #hopefully i can share a little bit of this calm feeling #just seeing kids these days arguing against things taught to them is amazing #the world is on fire and we just want to live #and those kids SEE THAT #as somebody who has watched the world slowly fall apart to global warming and war and capitialism in just the early 2000s to now #it feels like there's some positivity just over the horizon #hell i remember back in like 2007 when some kid echoed his dad's racist sentiment in school #and a whole group of us came together and started chanting 'Obama is da bomb' through the ENTIRE LUNCHROOM #in this tiny conservative town in appalachia #All of us in unison looked to this kid and was like 'fuck you. he's a cool guy' even tho we were like 8 and had no idea what was going on #and if we were doing that in 3rd grade back then. the kids now are definitely still going strong #and looking back at some of these kids i knew back then: they're still going strong too now that we understand #i hope this makes sense tho #i just felt really good hearing that this stuff was said back in the 70s #and we're right back at it again #and i think this time. we'll win.

[pinkcadillaccas]

Anyone else feeling the relentless march of time on this Saturday night

#sat on the bus going home from my second to last shift at this job #saw lots of people at work that used to know me for my old job that i absolutely loved and did for 6 years #and i was describing why i know all these people to my coworkers and i was like oh my god thats not me anymore #thats who i used to be what the fuck #and this is the same bus journey that ive been doing for three years #on the same bus ive taken since i started taking the bus #its the same journey but im so different #and im moving into a different phase of life again #how many times have i sat on this bus #how many times have i sat in this seat #how many times have i driven this route how many me's #I've literally moved to the big city and moved back and i am irrevocably changed and im looking at the same shops out of fo the window #everything is the same but so different #since i started taking this bus i have changed so much that i would not recognise myself in the mirror #my boss said 'dont be a stranger' sir i am a stranger to myself #how long can i not be a stranger #how long can you try and keep up with the dregs of your old life until it no longer fits #how long can you keep coming back until it becomes somewhere unrecognisable. or you become unrecognisable #how do you mourn losing something of yourself when it happens so slowly and you dont realise it until its been dead and buried for years #do you ever find yourself falling into old thought patterns and finding that you have no conviction #the you who started thinking that is gone. you dont feel this way. but you did #even just about a band you like. or a snack you always used to buy before school #one of my essays this term could have been about humes view that we dont have a concrete self #and i just thought how am i supposed to answer that #how am i supposed to say no hes right there is no continuous self. i know this because i am filled with ghosts #because i look in the mirror and part of me tries to look through the eyes of teenage me #just to wonder what they would think #and i cant do it. because we are so far apart that they are not me #i am clinging on to friends and places as though i am someone that i am not because rhe ghost of a child inside me demands it #even if the words are hollow and the feelings are long gone

[cyclicalaberration]

Hhhhhh

#thinking about werewolf boy #sorry to everyone. I'm being Normal and Gay again #he's so so so so sweet and gentle and it's So funny when i pick him up #he likes being carried but he's also like. twice my size and he Will Not jump enough to actually sit above my hips so i can properly hold #him. so it's a bit of an ordeal and it takes me a minute to adjust properly but he's so so so so so cute #and his face is really hard for me to draw but i like trying anyway cause its soft and nice and his and cute and pretty #and he's so so so so so so so so so so so nice and good to hug and his jacket is falling apart but we're working on it Slowly But Surely #(slowly. really slowly) and idkkkkkkkk im just. hhhhhhhhhh #the dentist better not do cosmetic shit to his teeth I don't like the idea of him having perfect teeth it's Incorrect #my lip piercings will get stuck between his teeth sometimes. i think that says more about the difference in scale between us than anything #actually. idk he's So So So cute though and everyone is a bit sick of me gushing about him and how much i love him #i hate hyper fixating on people cause it makes everyone around me kinda annoued or feel like im ignoring them or smth but it's also #sometimes really nice to be Fixated On Something. eben if that something is this guy with a torn up jacket who got banned from your house

[cmncisspnandmore]

Nothing breaks Simon’s heart more than seeing you cry.

He hates it, it makes his skin crawl, and he feels helpless.

He watches the tears roll down your cheeks, leaving shiny streaks down your face. Your eyes red rimmed as you wipe at them furiously with your hands.

He feels terrible as he pulls you into a bone crushing hug. One hand on the back of your head pressing your face into his large chest. The other around your waist, holding you tightly against him.

His grip tightens when your knees give out, both of you slowly sinking to the floor. Until he’s on his knees trying to hold you together, trying prevent you from shattering to pieces in his hands.

His lips press to your hair as he rocks you slowly back and forth. Soft murmurs fill your ears as he tries to assure you that it’ll be okay even though he knows it very well might not be.

He holds you, long after his legs start to ache, his muscles tense from being in the same position for so long. He listens to your sobs quiet, your breathing slowing as you manage to calm down.

The soft “sorry..” that comes from you makes Simon feel sick. You should never apologize for showing emotion, for being human. For experiencing sadness.

Rage bubbles in his chest as she listens to you try to explain your emotions away, listens to you apologize for “falling apart” and saying “it won’t happen again.”

Simon suddenly wants to rip whoever made you feel like you couldn’t express hurt to shreds. To feel them shake beneath him as he makes them take back what they said to you. Makes them say sorry for making you feel like you weren’t allowed to cry.

But he doesn’t show you how upset he is that someone had made you feel like you can’t cry. He doesn’t tell you hoe his knees have gone numb from kneeling on the hard floor. He just continues to hold you, his arms sore.

As you collect yourself all Simon wants to do is see you smile. To see your lips turn up in even the smallest smile. So he does what he does best in situations like this.

“What do you call an angry veggie?” He asks, pulling back ever so slightly so he can see your face.

“Uh…” you pause, your face scrunched slightly, “what?”

“A steamed veggie,” he grunts, and for a moment he’s worried he said the wrong thing. But then your lips twitch, and a small smile breaks out on your face. along with a dramatic roll of your eyes has Simon letting out a small breath of relief.

Simon hates to see you cry, but he also loves being the one to make you smile after.

#simon riley x you #simon ghost x reader #simon riley x reader #simon x reader #simon ghost riley #simon riley #simon #ghost x you #ghost mw2 #ghost x reader #ghost cod #ghost #cod modern warfare #cod x reader #cod mw2 #cod mw3 #call of duty #cod mwii

[malikselfindulgence]

I have a VERY specific scene in mind of Morshid looking at some form of scripture or wall and realising he's been misinterpreting his mission all along, and that he was assigned to kill Marek, not to guide her, and him very slowly turning around to look at Marek and they lock eyes before Marek BOLTS away. Morshid doesn't try to run after him

#lore is very slowly being built guysI got this #do you understand what this means to them #Morshid whos been justifying all his actions in the name of his purpose and his mission. only for none of that to be true anyways #his entire worldview falling apart in front of him . marek in the centre of it all #marek whole heartedly believing Morshid will kill her now without a second thought or hesitation #Marek running away . shes never run away before #no matter how upset or angry she got . he'd always stay there in his spot . but this isnt about anger angmore !! #marek is afraid #and the worst part is Morshid doesnt know what to do . hes afraid of himself too #im NORMAALLL #oc: morshid lmk #oc: marek lmk #malik's rambles #im finally free to get into ancient egyptian myths again YAYY!!! i will be applying some of that to Morshid lore because I can and I will #shepherd duo

[nameforthemain]

fairly long vent about friendships as a warning

watching my brother interact with his friends is just so mind-blowing because it's amazing and everything I'd want and yet I've never been able to get anything close, honestly wouldn't think it possible if I didn't see my brother manage it so successfully.

he'll just drop over to their houses for the night organised in that day. go to a house party at least once a week because his friends throw them all the time and they always want him there. even now we're in holiday on a different continent and his friend happens to be on holiday nearby, so she just invited him over for dinner at their resort and her mum is willing to pick him up from town and bring him back to eat and chat with them and it's just so amazing?

and I just... want it so much. I know it takes a certain amount of confidence to suggest these meet ups, but I've done that. Nobody's going to invite me so I've pushed my limits and done the suggesting. And that's where the difference in our friends really shows, because his will do everything they can to make it happen and the two of them can find something that works and have a great time! whereas all my life, if I suggest hanging out with my friends, all I get is 'yeah we totally should do that!' and so if I want it to happen, I have to make it happen, I have to work around their schedule to suggest a time, date, activity and by then it's got to be 3 weeks away or something because they won't suggest dates or reply quickly or anything to make it easier to actually do it. And there's only so much of that I can take before it doesn't even become worth it to meet up with them, because all I get is the vibe that they don't actually want to meet, they're just doing it because I've organised it for them. (Not to mention the times where I've organised it, shown up, then half of them are no shows and only say they're cancelling last minute when I chase them up)

It's just so frustrating, I just want friends I can meet up with and do stuff with, friends I'd happily call with at anytime, even if I usually hate impromptu calls, friends whose houses I could just drop over at and friends who would invite me places without making it seem like a burden or an afterthought to invite me. I literally just want to be close with someone and yet I've never fully managed it

#i got so close to getting it once #had an awesome friend group and we'd text every day and randomly call to talk #then two of them fell out for reasons i still don't know and it all fell apart. one only texted me to ask about the other person #one of them stopped talking immediately as soon as the gc was gone #and the final one still talks to me but it's not the same and it's like... i wasn't part of the fall out so why did my life have to change #but that's always the way. every friend I've had in 21 years has slowly ditched me because of other events and nothing i do can stop it #no matter how hard I try #peppa talks #friendship vent #again. I'm sorry