#silly little robot guy has Many thoughts and also existentialism

[roseltheteacup]

Bomb Rush Cyberfunk: Headcanons, Red

Inspired by a couple other users! @mechanical-magician @dragonmarquise @robotredhead @hccupit

Major story spoilers under the cut.

The TDLR being: taking the postgame character select at face value; Red is reborn as a true cyberhead with Faux’s body. He still retains the memories of his journey due to his memory chip being present in the cyberhead that held Felix. In fact, quite a few of his systems were present in that cyberhead during the journey, minus an actual AI component. It was simply a matter of finding all the pieces of him and putting him back together.

His memories of the final confrontation are a little fuzzy, mostly because he willingly passed the reins to Felix during his last sit in DJ Cyber’s chair. It was then that he realised only Felix could finish things with Faux. Red was quite literally just along for the ride at that point, unable to influence or understand much of what Felix was saying and doing. Everything ended for him once the cyberhead was shattered. He still wishes he could've spoken with Faux.

He and Felix have agreed that the best way to describe their situation is: “He's me, but not really.”

He's maybe like Felix’s younger sibling? Maybe?? Red hasn't asked.

Technically, he's died about three times (four if you count as Faux.) Always being rebuilt, always coming back. It confuses him as much as it disturbs him.

He died two times in Mataan. He swears he felt what it was like for each piece of him to be scattered while retaining something akin to a consciousness.

Because of his lack of a human consciousness uploaded to his cyberhead system, he's basically a robot. All AI. And yet, he's still surprisingly human. DJ Cyber surmises that it's because he's based on Felix. That being said, Red has been having fun figuring out things he can do as a full cyberhead.

His eyes glow in the dark and turn off when he's asleep. He's scared the hell out of Tryce at 2am multiple times.

He has a habit of getting straight to the point when speaking. Not out of frustration, he just doesn't quite understand how to turn conversations naturally in a direction. He also tends to be a little slow to process things. Please be patient with him.

Red’s lack of a human consciousness also leads him to be fairly oblivious when it comes to understanding the rules of human society. It's one of the things Tryce and Bel noticed about him once he was recreated, but they're more than willing to help him understand things. A lot of the crew find it endearing.

The dreams he has are as vivid as he remembers, but a little different. He now has a full machine mind, so it's taken a while to get used to.

He finds it a lot easier to learn by doing. It's even better if it's a practical skill and he has something to touch and fiddle with and figure out the intricacies of.

Despite temporarily sharing a mind with Felix, a man in his late 20s, Red seems to be more naïve and youthful. He's also noticeably more enthusiastic and impulsive than Felix. This, combined with him using Faux’s body (being in its early 20s,) results in Red coming across as someone aged 18-22.

For someone so young to have experienced death multiple times, it does tend to bother him. He worries about wiping out or sleeping for too long and having to be stuck back together again.

Bel has been teaching him how to make beaded bracelets. He hasn't quite gotten it yet, but constantly wears the one Bel made for him.

Back when they were still searching for Faux’s head, Red would try to be as careful as he could with his body (though he wasn't always successful) and wouldn't allow any changes to it without Faux’s permission. Today, Red feels comfortable enough in his own skin and even likes to paint his nails with Bel.

He has a 3DS! His favourite games are Miitopia and Pokémon Mystery Dungeon.

Whenever he gets flustered or stressed, the fans in the back of his head whirr quickly. Once you figure out when he's actually flustered instead of stressed out, it's really cute. His face also tends to be warm to the touch when this happens.

He was required to think of a legal name for himself for the books, and decided on Redmond. He knows it's not very creative but doesn't really care.

Back when he was first named, he took to ‘Red’ immediately and quickly designed a tag for himself, too. It always felt like him. Simple and to the point.

Faux’s body is scarred up because of the confrontation in Mataan. Red has been used to this body ever since he was created, but has to be reminded that it's perhaps a little more fragile than he remembers, at least until he's all healed up. He's also always had a neck scar, but finds it a bit more itchy now that he's been re-attached to a body two extra times.

His cyberhead is painted. By default, his model is white (like Escher.) Because of this, whenever he wipes out and gets scraped up Tryce and Bel are always offering to repaint his scratches.

Red has been getting into more installation-based artwork. He likes finding small trinkets and mechanical parts and sticking them together. He says it speaks to him somehow.

He sleeps like a rock. (It's not a cyberhead thing, it's just him.)

#long post #I just wanted to put all of my headcanons in one place #It is. a long list #I have many thoughts on this little guy #way too many. perhaps #silly little robot guy has Many thoughts and also existentialism #red brc #bomb rush #bomb rush cyberfunk #bomb rush cyberfunk spoilers #brc bel #brc tryce #Headcanons

[thebibliomancer]

Essential Avengers: Avengers #166: Day of the Godslayer!

December, 1977

The cover is right. If you had told me after Avengers #13 that that goofus would come back as an Evil Superman, I would have said ‘I can’t tell if you are joking for comics are a silly place.’

Speaking of though. This is the third issue in the Evil Superman Count Nefaria arc. And he’s fighting a computer.

I wonder when Richard Pryor is going to show up.

Last time: Count Nefaria assembled a new Lethal Legion (Whirlwind, Power Man, and Living Laser) as part of a ruse to steal their powers and turn himself into Evil Superman. And then he did do that. Then he beat up the Avengers, dropped a building on them, had a talk that got Too Real with the Whizzer, and beat up the Avengers again. And then Thor showed up.

And then he do what Thors do and throws the hammer.

Also apparently he was teleported into this story against his will and has no idea whats going on or how he got here.

Which is a relatable feeling in this day and age really.

So Nefaria wanted Thor but now that he has Thor he doesn’t know if he wants him anymore. He got hit by Mjolnir pretty hard and even if he survived it and Thor marvels at Nefaria’s power out loud, Nefaria still begs Thor to stay away.

But instead of that, more punching.

Having tanked two Thor hits Nefaria is getting his confidence back a bit. Why should he fear Thor if he’s done his worst and Nefaria has survived it?

Clearly Thor should fear Nefaria and his eye lasers.

Which feels like tempting fate. 

Because even though they’re only two hits into this fight, Thor decides to throw Nefaria through a random portal into apparently airless space where he will possibly asphyxiate and die.

Geez, Thor.

In fairness though. The man is trying to steal his hammer.

Because we get more of Nefaria’s thought process here. He’s afraid of old age now that he has gained so much power. So he wants immortality. Thor is immortal. The hammer is the source of Thor’s power. Therefore, Mjolnir can make Nefaria immortal!

The logic is unassailable!

Or very assailable. Thor immediately calls him a fool embracing rumors and lies to build his false hope.

But also: imagine how hilarious it would be if Thor went ‘okay you want Mjolnir? Here’ and just handed Mjolnir to Nefaria. And Mjolnir immediately plummeted as it do when held by the unworthy pratfalling Nefaria to the ground.

Comics, why must you fail to do the best things sometimes?

Oh. I side-tracked myself.

How does Nefaria deal with a mystic suck portal?

He drops an entire skyscraper on it to clog it up.

Apparently one can clog up a mystic portal as long as you have enough wreckage.

It helps that the wreckage also falls on Thor.

That’s two buildings now that Nefaria has knocked over. This is a level of casual property destruction that I don’t think we’ve had so much before in Avengers.

Anyway, Nefaria decides that Thor is Totally Dead Forever just like he thought the Avengers were. And his train of thought then takes him to shit I’d better kill the Avengers in case they get their third wind.

And then Thor busts out from the rubble seriously nettled and unleashes Thunder God mode.

I mean Thunder God is what he always is. If he were a MtG card it would say Summon Deity - Thunder God, possibly. But he’s not really thunder godding it unless he’s yelling something at the heavens and making the skies crack open with lightning and rain.

He’s got to be behaving exactly like a taller Darla Dimple with better hair basically.

His summoned lightning strikes Mjolnir and charges it up with electricity. Because when you absolutely have to cave someone’s face in why not also electrocute them?

But when he swings down at Nefaria as hard as he can, Nefaria catches Mjolnir and halts its swing.

Much like Not-Evil Superman would later do in Justice League/Avengers before kicking Thor’s ass.

This does not bode well for the god of thunder.

So lets cut away and hope that some time off-screen will dull this bode.

I know what everyone has been wondering. What is Beast up to?

Shut up, yes you were.

Who else would you wonder about? Yellowjacket? Vision?

Fine, they’re here too. I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY.

So basically in the previous issue, Yellowjacket ran from the fight. In fairness, Nefaria is out of his league. But still, shaaaaaaaaaame, says Beast.

But Yellowjacket had a good reason. He’s fighting with his strongest muscle: SCEINCE!

Nefaria is kicking their ass. So its absolutely ludicrous not to have one of their biggest guns available.

Yellowjacket scienced up a risky technique for instantly reviving Vision from his coma in the goo tank. Or it might kill him.

DARE HE TAKE THIS RISK?

Oh. Damn, really? Didn’t even milk the conundrum for a single panel before going ahead with it?

Okay. Yes. The Vision is revived. It was a risky procedure and it could have been dwelt on a little more for some damn melodrama.

I guess it had to happen anyway so why dwell? If you say in the first chapter that there is a robot in a goo tube, in the second or third chapter it must absolutely go off. If you’re not going to fire that robot, it shouldn’t be in that goo tube. Anton Chekhov said that, possibly while fighting the Klingons.

But here’s a potential consequence: the Vision has seemingly become even more robotic and Beast wonders if he didn’t maybe Come Back Wrong.

Meanwhile outside, Nefaria punches Thor’s handsome face.

And oh hey Thor dropped his hammer, Nefaria calls dibs.

Before he can grab it, Vision floats up to stop him.

I do wonder why they’re playing so cagey with the hammer. An obvious thing to do would be for Nefaria to try to pick up Mjolnir and fail because he’s prooooobably not worthy. And then he can get even more incensed and desperate because he was pinning his hopes on gaining immortality.

But he gets interrupted before he can even try and I wonder why.

Anyway.

Vision floats up in front of him and tries to do the Vision thing that Vision do where Vision sticks his fist in you.

But it fails. Something about the changes to Nefaria’s physiology makes it so Vision cannot penetrate Nefaria even intangible.

Which logically also means that Nefaria can punch Vision, even intangible. Which he does.

Meanwhile, watching Vision get knocked on his ass from the shadows nearby, the sunglasses asshole. Remember him?

Anyway, we learn more about his mysterious plan. He’s going to...

SNEAK INTO AVENGERS MANSION THROUGH ONE OF THE VARIOUS NEFARIA-INDUCED PUNCH HOLES AND TAKE PICTURES

the fiend.

But seriously, you better believe that this isn’t the last we’ll see of this sunglasses asshole.

Meanwhile, inside the Mansion. Jarvis tends to the Wasp because somebody has to remember that she was injured when a car was thrown through the building.

But as soon as she regains consciousness she gets up because hey that’s Count Nefaria out there and he’s apparently Evil Superman now. No way Wasp is not going to involve herself in that.

Meanwhile for the third time, Professor Sturdy (y’know, that Nazi scientist that helped Zemo build the Wonder Man machine and later helped Nefaria with Project N) rams through the police barricade, crashes his car when the police shoot out the tires, and then limps to the fight.

And boy is Nefaria surprised to see him.

Because obviously Nefaria turned on him and the rest of the scientists as soon as he didn’t need them anymore.

Remember the incredibly unsubtle ominous foreshadowing he gave them?

And yet they still cursed his sudden yet inevitable betrayal when he attempted to murder them all to prevent them from ever empowering anyone like him.

But maybe he should have slowed his roll because like with Wonder Man before Nefaria, Sturdy built a control in when he was empowering a dude.

Professor Sturdy: “Have not you noticed yet, Nefaria? You are aging at an incredible rate! A month for every ten minutes... a year for every two hours -- you vill be dead in two days!”

Count Nefaria: “oh... god, no! it -- its true! my face is... older!”

Professor Sturdy: “Only I know how to control your aging process... Nefaria! Only I could have... saved you!” -dies-

Count Nefaria: “i -- i’m dying. my life is slipping away!”

Thor attempts to emphasize with Count Nefaria. Asks him to surrender so that the Avengers can use the many scientists and such on the team to save his life.

But Nefaria was already in a lather about the prospect of dying in fifty years. Being told he has two days to live? He’s quite beyond reasoning.

Count Nefaria: “Didn’t you hear Sturdy? Only he could have saved me -- and he’s dead! I killed him! Arrhh! It’s too late! Do you hear? Too late! I’m going to di-i-i-e!”

And then he flies off to destroy New York City because if he’s going to die, he’ll at least gain a kind of immortality through infamy as the guy who melted New York.

Meanwhile, Wasp does her part by gently papping the unconscious Avengers in the face until they wake up. The Avenger’s third wind came on fairy wings. Or something. 

Cap is too beat up to rejoin the fight but he passes his shield off to Wonder Man.

Which is honestly kind of a touching moment? I mean, in the midst of all of Wonder Man’s doubts about whether he’s worthy of being an Avenger, Cap just trusts him with his shield? Wonder Man is certainly touched, even though he doesn’t feel he deserves it.

Elsewhere, Nefaria melting the city. Just Nefaria things.

Also, Vision ponders having a fresh new existential quandary. And he just got over one!

Vision: “How odd! In his madness he desires that great masses precede him thru the portal of death... to better mark in history his passing? Human foibles should not be new to me, and yet -- it is as if I have forgotten them in my hiatus from life! Still, is it not a human experience to awaken after a brush with death and see everything as if for the first time?”

I have to wonder where they’re going with this. And I’m kind of worried. There’s a tendency to backslide characters to a state that’s perceived as more true to the character.

For Vision this can mean rewinding any progress he makes on being or perceiving himself as more human. And while I love robo-angst, I have to worry about someone Byrneing up Vision’s development.

This isn’t even the first time he’s had a near death experience! Its like the third! Still, I’ll wait and see where its going. Or cheat by peeking ahead. You’ll never know.

Anyway, Vision saves some crowds by vaporizing some rubble that was going to fall on them. Also he punches Nefaria out of the air. Because Vision can fly by altering his density. Neferia can only jump hella high. Very like early Superman.

And while Nefaria slams into the ground, the rest of the Avengers rush to dogpile him, leaving Nefaria to both lament and rue that he didn’t finish them off like he kept meaning to but kept forgetting to do.

And yeah. The Avengers just beat on him for a while. Yeah, he’s stronger and faster than them. But there’s just so many Avengers coming out of the woodwork and all swapping in and out before he can seriously hurt them. And Iron Man shows up. And then Thor.

And then Scarlet Witch continues her trend of just Scarlet Witching these books but good and uses her probability manipulation powers to create a probability where Nefaria is just filled with a mind-numbing burst of pain. What are the odds!

Oh and then Thor punches him into a building which then falls on him. Because turnabout is fair play.

And yet even all of this isn’t enough to knock Nefaria down because he got up again.

All of that and they only staggered him. And as he staggers out of the rubble he vows that he’ll kill the Avengers before he dies.

What does it take to put this guy down? A kinetic bomb?

A kinetic bomb.

Vision has flown a full mile above the fight. He increases his mass and density to their ultimate and

P

L

U

M

M

E

T

S

BUTHOOM!

Hits Nefaria dead on. Although counter to my word choice, both of them survive. Damn, Nefaria is one tough son of a gun.

Because Vision hitting the ground at full mass and density at terminal speed? Impacted hard enough that they felt it in Vermont. Not only felt it but a seismic station picked up readings like someone had just dropped a hydrogen bomb on New York City.

Weirdly, the impact doesn’t seem so drastic in the actual art. The Avengers aren’t even a block away and don’t seem to be affected.

You’d think there’d be more surrounding destruction but I’m no physicist. Or even very good at math. And sometimes language baffles me.

But even though the Avengers just knocked down a dude that's been giving them trouble for three issues, it is not a time for smiles and such. There is too much fallout and unaired grievances and resentments.

Iron Man demands answers from Thor accounting for him appearing and disappearing only when the Avengers are in deep shit.

(I thought Thor was on inactive duty? The point of that is that he doesn’t need to be available at all times, I thought)

But Captain America, who I guess has limped to the battle from the mansion, turns the questioning on Iron Man. He says that the Avengers have hit bottom while Iron Man has been a leader in absentia.

Also, Vision implies to Scarlet Witch that they need to talk about their relationship which worries me what with his new apparently more robotic demeanor.

Yellowjacket breaks up the fight, pointing out that they really should take care of Count Nefaria before he shakes off that one ton headache and the Avengers have to fight him again.

Here’s the thing: Professor Sturdy was only mostly dead. He‘s totally dead now but he was barely alive when Yellowjacket came across him. And the Nazi scientist told Yellowjacket how to depower Nefaria.

But the real ironic note here is that Sturdy had lied about Nefaria’s accelerated aging. While there was some rapid aging, it was just a temporary side effect. Actually, the super energy he had been enhanced with made him effectively immortal.

Nefaria’s murderous temper tantrum was for literally nothing!

Oh. One final note.

On a dock in Vladivostok, a mysterious old man looks at a locket containing pictures of Wanda and Pietro (Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver) and then boards a steamer that will take him to America “and a long-delayed reunion with his beloved children.”

DUN DUN DUNNNNN

Geez. Even in 1977 wild retcons about the Maximoff’s parentage were the Thing To Do, I guess.

(I’ve actually read ahead and know where this is going)

So time for Count Nefaria thoughts.

I’ve said in the past who disappointing I thought it was that original flavor master planner Count Nefaria didn’t appear more often as an Avengers villain.

It is kind of disappointing that after he becomes buffed up, Nefaria becomes primarily a physical threat. A brick wall for the Avengers to bloody their knuckles punching but eventually manage to knock down brick by brick.

I think a strong but not this strong Nefaria would be an interesting master planner antagonist to the Avengers. Able to thump them but not necessarily solo them. So he’d have to rely on planning to cover the gap.

While that may be, I absolutely loved Evil Superman Count Nefaria in this three parter. I mean, for one thing, how blatantly he is Evil Superman.

As much as I love Hyperion and the Squadron Supreme, Hyperion never Evil Supermanned to this level. This is exactly why crime dollars should not be able to purchase Superman’s powers. Toppling buildings, ripping into banks and then throwing away the money because whats the point, stomping the Avengers two and a half times. Nefaria is a rich man who suddenly has the superpowers to let him tangibly do to the world what he’s been doing to it socially the whole time.

Plus, Count Nefaria is just such a good bad comic book name. That’s his actual real last name. I suspect that he’s from the same part of Europe that the surname Doom is from.

Nefaria is a very Shooter villain. Shooter absolutely loves to write god-tier assholes whose failing is a very human foible.

Count Nefaria was given power to rival an actual god, Thor. But for much of this story he was driven by fear of aging and losing this power, thanks to a healthy dose of Old Man Nihilism from the Whizzer.

God-tier powers, done in by a very human fear.

We saw that with Graviton as well. He also had god-tier powers and was also able to manhandle Thor. And he was done in by his sense of possessive entitlement and a bit of power incontinence.

Graviton and Nefaria won’t be the end of this. Shooter will keep refining this take on villainy. We’ll see it with the Beyonder and with Korvac. And maybe with others.

On a more different note, Tom King gave me a whole new reason to love this story.

Look at those two crazy kids sneaking a snog behind a tree during a life-or-death battle instead of fighting Evil Superman! Young love!

There’s absolutely no way his take could have happened as the events were portrayed in the original issue. Its at odds with character placement and the timeline of events but heck. Its canon anyway.

Next time in the sequential numbering: the Guardians of the Galaxy guest star. But not the ones you might think. Remember the Gotg Vol. 2 stinger? Those guys. Kinda. Ish.

But before we get into that, there’s an annual and a crossover.

Follow @essential-avengers.

#Avengers #Count Nefaria #the Vision #Scarlet Witch #Thor #Iron Man #Wonder Man #Yellowjacket #the Wasp #Beast #everyone doing a little better today #sunglasses asshole takes some pictures #Nefaria hates buildings #crows feet is no reason to rampage #you're not a giant ape anyway #Essential Avengers #Essential marvel liveblogging #buthoom the bell tolls