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michelemoore · 4 years

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Takhuk

November 27, 2019

Michele Moore Veldhoen

A Useless Life

A farmer got so old that he couldn’t work the fields anymore. So he would spend the day just sitting on the porch. His son, still working the farm, would look up from time to time and see his father sitting there.

“He’s of no use any more,” the son thought to himself, “he doesn’t do anything!” One day the son got so frustrated by this, that he built a wood coffin, dragged it over to the porch, and told his father to get in.

Without saying anything, the father climbed inside. After closing the lid, the son dragged the coffin to the edge of the farm where there was a high cliff.

As he approached the drop, he heard a light tapping on the lid from inside the coffin. He opened it up. Still lying there peacefully, the father looked up at his son. “I know you are going to throw me over the cliff, but before you do, may I suggest something?” “What is it?” replied the son. “Throw me over the cliff, if you like,” said the father, “but save this good wood coffin. Your children might need to use it.” (from the online site theunboundedspirit.com)

I hope that gave you a laugh. By the way, my farming friends wouldn’t even know where on their house to find their porch because they have yet to slow down enough to have time to sit on it doing nothing. And for the record, my farming friends are men and women.

I can’t remember now how I came across this hilarious story last week but the timing was serendipitous because ….

Last week, I was called old by one of my adult students. The student was actually complimenting me – it was something about how ‘good I looked’ for an old lady. Yes, she actually used that term. I suppose this sort of thing is bound to happen sooner or later. When she said it I laughed and smiled but later it struck me. Someone just called me an OLD LADY. Worse yet, that someone is definitely as old and possibly older than my grown kids, who are all in their 30’s. The experience has left me wondering: is it a sign, an insult, or an opportunity?

I wondered if it is was a sign because just a couple of weeks ago, my cousin who is less than a decade younger than me, referred to her almost sixty year old brother as being too old to drive through the mountains in the winter. And then, days after, my sister turned sixty and has just retired. I’m only a few years behind her. Are these all signs that I am entering a new era of infirmity and irrelevance? After a few seconds of thought, I realized that signs appear on posts and so far I have not seen a single one with the words old lady. Besides, we all know that sixty is the new forty.

For a couple of reasons I have decided it was not an insult. First, because my student meant it kindly. Second, because I have known a number of spectacularly dynamic women who could legitimately, according to my formula, be called old ladies. Naturally, everyone has their own formula and the number in it is highly subjective. Some time ago I decided one needed to hit the number ninety to officially enter the old category. (This view may change when I’m in my 80’s.)

So, if being called an old lady last week was neither an insult nor a sign, then perhaps it was an opportunity.

When we’re perceived as old, are we not also perceived as the sages of our community? Aren’t we supposed to sit in a very comfortable chair on a slightly elevated platform and dispense our wisdom? While someone serves us our favourite snacks? (Food, I have observed, is a great joy to the ancients.) And isn’t it true that old ladies are no longer expected to clean up after others? May I now expect someone to clean up after me? (That would be soooo lovely!). Can I bring my slippers to my kids’ houses and expect them to fill my plate and serve me first? Speaking of footwear, can I wear comfortable shoes now? And clothes? What about stories? Can I start telling all my life stories without being interrupted? Can I sneak candy to my grandchildren?

Hmmm. Yes, I do see opportunity in having old lady status. The problem is, I might be expected to do a few other things that apparently, go right along with the privileges mentioned above. Like mail Christmas cards with personalized letters. This is something I liberated myself from decades ago. I might get flannel pajama sets for presents and I dislike flannel pajama sets. Someone might give me word puzzle books and wall calendars. (I would not mind a nice National Geographic wall calendar, actually. I just gave a beauty of one to a young man in my life who recently turned eleven, he loved it.) Worst of all is the risk that I would stop getting invitations to parties because people might think I would need to be driven home for a 9:00 p.m. bedtime. (Which is a great time to hit the sack as long as there’s no party going on.) Then there’s the risk of being served jello or receiving subscriptions to crafters magazines, or being invited to play bingo, or being offered a sweater and cup of tea instead of a cocktail and being let in on the latest not so delicate joke.

So, really, being perceived as an old lady does not represent an opportunity either. I don’t think I’ll start showing up at parties with slippers and assume the comfiest chair to talk about my good old days quite yet. The risk of being plopped in a coffin and thrown off a cliff is too great.

According to an Uber driver I met just a couple of days ago, my generation was lucky. We had it all, everything was easy. There were lots of jobs. We didn’t have to work as hard as this Uber driver’s generation now does. I suppose he would be a Millennial, and he assumed my friends and I were Baby Boomers. (Depending on which randomly selected article I read, I am either a Baby Boomer or a Gen Xer. But this is not important, I only use these arbitrary terms to put this episode in context.) The driver had picked us up after we had walked half way around the Glenmore Reservoir and stopped at the Good Earth coffee shop in Glenmore Landing. While there, the sun went down and so we called for a ride back to our vehicle. We were very relaxed and lighthearted, a state which he clearly disapproved of as evidenced by his comments about our generation’s good fortune and his lack of it, since he was having to work while we were having fun.

As I think about that driver’s comments, I wonder. Would he plop his father in a coffin and throw him off a cliff if he saw him luxuriating in a recreational activity as useless as taking a walk? Perhaps I should track down the driver’s father and send him this blog just as a precaution.

I remember the first time someone referred to me as short. This was eons ago, in high school. The comment literally stopped me in my tracks. I looked at the person and said, “Am I short?”. The person was surprised by my question. She was surprised that I didn’t see myself as short. For some time thereafter, I took extra-long looks at myself in mirrors and at other people. I concluded that, yes, I am on the lower end of the human height scale. And then I forgot about being perceived as short.

However, in this latest example of another’s perception, my response is, not. But one day, when I am truly in the old lady category, I will be steering clear of young’uns with wood coffins. Cliffs however, I hope to be frequently going over. One of the beauties of age is knowing you can, in fact, jump over cliffs and land on your feet. It helps to wear comfortable shoes.

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pyropsychiccollector · 7 years

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What-If #01, Scene #05

Premise: Zeref and Natsu aren’t born 400 years prior to the series; instead, they’re born in X763 and X766 respectively, and their family eventually settles around the area of Isvan. Circumstances make the brothers orphans, but Ur Milkovich takes them in, and so Ultear gains siblings… and becomes the middle child. Lovely.

Scene’s Point in Time: X780

~*~

Mard Geer: Lord Zeref, I do believe the well is dry here. There is nothing more to be gleaned from this institution. *carrying a stack of books, while Zeref is doing the same as they enter Magnolia's library*

Zeref: *faint smile* It's been three years, and I still somehow doubt that.

Mard Geer: ... How can you be so sure?

Zeref: Sayla has, on occasion, noticed subtle changes in the organization. A new book here and there, some of the ones I checked out months prior missing... As in, completely removed from the shelf. Not checked out. The number of books stored here has never changed; it's meticulously been maintained so that perhaps no one would notice.

Mard Geer: Hmm... I suppose it's possible. There were times when I saw that some books were missing as well, though I had assumed they were checked out. So you believe someone is toying with you?

Zeref: Not with malicious intent. But yes... I do believe someone is playing a little game with us, to keep us 'coming back'. *small grin* And I think I've puzzled it out.

Librarian: *smirks as he sits at his desk, seeing the two approaching* Hmph. Done with that batch, I take it?

Zeref: *takes note that the man has an impressive build for his age, and that he has an eyepatch over his right eye* Hnn. That is indeed the case, Gaebolg. Would you like our help putting them back again?

Librarian: I'll manage on my own, this time. Why don't you two just peruse our collection once more?

Zeref: *smirks right back at the old man* ... I have a better idea. Tell me, is your first name really 'Gaebolg'?

Librarian: .... Hmm. *strokes his long beard* You're the first one to question that, I must confess. What makes you think it is a fake name?

Zeref: I never said that it was completely false. It could be your surname, and for whatever reason, you decided to pass it off as your first. It's not unheard of - some people simply prefer privacy. *as Gaebolg remains silent, eyeing him shrewdly, Zeref shrugs, stepping back from the pile of books he placed on his desk* It's fine if you don't wish to tell me. I was just... curious.

Librarian: ... How much do you know, or think you know...?

Zeref: *spreads out his arms peacefully* Well, it's merely a hypothesis, but taking into consideration your impressive reserves for Magic, the plaque near the entrance that clarifies every book in here belongs to you, and the gold ring with a Fairy Tail emblem on your right hand... I feel I must contend you are or were a prominent member of Fairy Tail. Given that no one at the Guild has seemed to piece this together about you, or at the very least won't talk about it in the open, that makes you very prominent. Almost as if you were our former Master... And since our First Master was a woman, that would make you Precht Gaebolg. Am I wrong?

Mard Geer: *widens his eyes, as not even he had picked up on all those details; Zeref's theory sounded plausible, though*

Precht: Well, well, don't you have the eye for detail. I must admit, you're the first one since that Gildarts brat to have worked it out, and he never bothered to set foot in here. If I'm that transparent, I must be losing my touch.

Zeref: There is very little information left about you in Fairy Tail's archives - not even your surname or even a picture was given. You weren't expelled from the Guild, so what happened?

Precht: Ah, that would actually be my doing. I didn't intend to create an amusing mystery, though that was a side effect, as you've demonstrated. ... I'm afraid it would take too long to get into all of it, but there was a time in my youth when I had lost my way. It took Mavis to pull me back from the brink of the abyss, and to atone for my mistakes, I purged the archives of information on myself, and resolved to maintain this library in complete anonymity.

???: *sigh* What am I always telling you, Precht? You've already 'atoned'! We're only enjoying retirement here. ^__^

Mard Geer: o__o Is that...?

Zeref: It appears the years have been kind to you both... To think, Magnolia's library is maintained by Fairy Tail's first two Masters. *faint smile*

Indeed, standing a few feet behind Zeref and Mard Geer was Fairy Tail's First Master, Mavis Vermillion. For being 107, she did look remarkably well, though her age did show somewhat, similar to Precht.

Precht: *sighs as he stands up, crossing his arms* Yes, well... It isn't easy for me to 'get over' Rita's death. You and Yuri may have forgiven me, but if I had been more vigilant, Makarov would have grown up with his mother. Instead, I allowed my curiosity to get the better of me, and those... cultists... took her life. *he scrunched his nose at the mention of the 'cultists', though Zeref and Mard Geer had no idea of his distaste for a specific type of mage because of this mentioned incident*

Mavis: Precht... *shakes her head as she doesn't want to delve into that incident any more than Precht already has; it was a sensitive topic for the four founders of Fairy Tail, though every single one of them had moved past the pain... except for Precht himself* Well, anyway! ^__^ *turns her attention to Zeref, and leers at Mard Geer* I've actually wanted to meet you for a while, Zeref. I found it fascinating that you created several beings out of Ethernano - never seen that done before! And this one looks really scrumptious! *eyes sparkle as she shrinks down to Chibi size and pokes Mard Geer all over with a stupid, somewhat perverted grin on her face; of course, Mard Geer tried to (lightly) swat her away, but Mavis proved to be a speedy little Chibi...*

Precht: *amused smirk* I hear from Makarov you made this first one out of pure instinct. Tell me, boy, how many have you created thus far?

Zeref: *hums as he ticks off fingers and counts them in his head* ... As of last year's S-Class Trials, 5. Mard Geer here can control plant life through his Magic, even if it's deep underground. Sayla, who watches over Natsu, wields light-based attacks and defenses. Tempester, who watches over Ultear, can manipulate any of the four elements - air, water, earth, and fire. I created Torafuzar when faced with a Trial based in the ocean, and finally, I created Franmalth to gain more flexibility and farther reach, but he also has the ability to absorb attacks. They're... quite diverse in their skillsets.

Mavis: Oooh! Let me see the others! *grown back to her normal height, but her eyes are still sparkling*

Zeref: ... I can guarantee you wouldn't find the others as 'cute'... Well... at least not Torafuzar and Franmalth, and they're the only other ones I have on-hand.

Mavis: *pout* You're in Fairy Tail. You should aim for cuteness as well as usefulness.

Zeref, Mard Geer, and Precht: o__o'

~*~

Gray: o_____o Do you think we'll catch a break, now that Erza's S-Class?

Natsu: Hell no. Going on S-Class jobs while leaving us behind? With neesan? I guarantee she just wanted the promotion to boss around neesan. o___o

Gray: That's... actually not that farfetched... >_> Why do the three scariest girls we know hafta be into you, and more importantly, why do I gotta get dragged into it?!

Natsu: Wha... they're not into me, Stripper. Neesan's just being overprotective, and Erza 'n Mira....

Gray: Haaah~, finally figured it out, did you? And I still say Ultear has to feel something for you, 'cause she literally has ZERO interest in any other guy! Throw in Lisanna, and you're getting tugged four ways!

Natsu: .......................

Gray: Oi! Don't break on me now, Flameturd! I'm counting on you to be my meat-shield! .... Come to think of it, no, this is okay. Better than okay, 'cause if you're zoned out, I can just throw you at those harpies. Hehehe.

Natsu: .........................

Gray: That's right, let it sink in! Worst case scenario, they decide to 'share' you, and you gotta go on all those shopping trips with three women.... Four, if they let Lisanna into the harem. *shudder* I can barely imagine one. You poor, poor bastard.

Natsu: ...........................

Gray: Huh. This is definitely the quietest I've seen you. It's weird. Nice, but weird. *jolts as Erza marches into the Guild and over to them*

Erza Natsu! Gray! I have found a suitable Quest, let us... >_> Gray. Why does Natsu have the thousand-yard stare.

Gray: Beats me. He kinda froze up when he thought about you 'n Mira liking him. I think puberty's finally setting in.... *gets punched into the far wall*

Erza: -_-*

Ultear: *comes striding up to the Dragon Slayer* Natsu, I picked out a Quest, let's... .... What did you do to him. >_>

Erza: Oh, you are not pinning that on me! Gray brought up our childish squabbles over him. Clearly, your advances as well as Mira's have traumatized him.

Ultear: Oh, and I'm sure you've been his hero in shining white armor. *eyeroll*

Erza: Just because you are jealous of our bond, does not mean you have to try and break us up.

Ultear: Jealous... right... Because he doesn't come home from Quests with you, whining about how you handled the heavylifting while he got to do the bare minimum. *sarcasm* At least I allow him to take on some of the tougher monsters and let him grow in experience.

Erza: So I might be a little controlling on the harder missions...

Ultear: Uh-huh. And just where do you draw the line? Because he seems to think you coddle him on every mission. ... Not to mention you sucker punch him on trains to 'help' him with his motion sickness... >_>

Erza: ............

Ultear: Thaaat's what I thought.

Erza: -_-*

Mira: Heave...HO! ^__^ *Mira and Lisanna abruptly picks the 'comatose' Dragon Slayer up off his feet and carries him away from Erza and Ultear*

Erza and Ultear: *glaring at one another in annoyance* ... This is your fault.

Erza: At least I'm not into incest!

Ultear: Hon, we're not related by blood. And he and Zeref kept their last name. If I want to snuggle with my 'otouto', I'll damn well do it. >_>

Erza: I-Indecent! At least with my S-Class title, Natsu will pursue me, keep challenging me!

Ultear: *snort* When you tackle a real S-Class assignment, like the one Zeref did, then I'll acknowledge your 'title'. Until then, to me you're just a silly girl playing at being 'S-Class'.

Erza: *glowing red eyes* Why yooouuu! *starts brawl with Ultear*

Wakaba: ... I think they forgot about Mira and Lisanna, there.

Macao: Pyro's barely fourteen, and he's already a lady killer!

Wakaba: Hope the kid realizes how lucky he is before they lose interest in him.

Makarov: I'll have you know I sat him and Zeref down for the Talk. ... Turns out Ur had already given it to them both, but at least the hidden peeping holes seemed to have mixed results.

Macao: ... How is that a good thing? Mixed is good and bad.

Makarov: Well, Natsu was resistant to most women, but as soon as he saw Erza and Mira entering the baths... *pervy grin*

Macao and Wakaba: .......... O___O

Makarov: ... What? *notices that Erza and Ultear have stopped brawling; both have demonic glowing eyes set on him* ... Ah. 'Scuse me while I go take a leak... *runs out of the Guildhall at full tilt, with both teenagers chasing after him like the hounds from Hell*

Gray: They're so lucky Master doesn't just knock 'em out...

Silver: *pats his son's head* One day you'll understand, kiddo. The wrath of the fairer sex is not to be trifled with. *pervy grin* But it can be so, so worth it...

~*~

Note: Little shorter than I wanted, but it works for now. *shrug* Haven't decided yet if I want to change up Edolas events, hence Happy's absence, but I might keep those the same. They're kinda separate from anything related to Zeref/Fairy Tail's past.

I liked the thought of a living Mavis/Yuri, and a non-evil Precht, though. Rita still died, but different circumstances. ... Still hafta iron it out, but I threw a very vague hint with Precht's disdain there. You'll definitely get clarification on the kind of 'Cultists', come Tower of Heaven. Hehe.

To be clear, Laxus was still made S-Class in X778, while Zeref made it in X779, and Erza in X780. That's the 'change' so far.

So I budged on two more Etherious. Still dunno if I'll allow Kyouka, Ezel, Jackal, and Keyes to be made, but if I budged on Torafuzar and Franmalth... Heh. At least I'm not making them too different in terms of Magic; yeah, their attacks are (probably) 'weaker' than their Curse variations, but they could be arguably 'stronger' as well, since Curses cloud their minds with negative emotions. That's my interpretation. Hope you enjoyed this a bit.

#Fairy Tail #zeref dragneel #mard geer #precht gaebolg #mavis vermillion #natsu dragneel #gray fullbuster #erza scarlet #ultear milkovich

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