#she has so few meaningful relationships. she keeps collecting familiars and crafting and naming clockwork creatures for tiny servants.

[blujayonthewing]

thinkin about. it's so easy to fall into the 'antisocial nerd who hates people' trope with a certain flavor of character archetype but. how much is melliwyk actually just... without even realizing it... fundamentally lonely...? she's friendly, but bad at making friends and maintaining meaningful relationships. the incident where she blew herself up launched her career but it also permanently blinded her roommate, and that would have absolutely colored her reputation and the way people interact with her for the remainder of her academic and all of her professional career. she lived alone in the woods for years. she talked to the ghost she didn't believe existed, she talks to her familiar even when he's not in the room, she keeps inventing robots shaped like little animals and creating items for her friends? companions. an NPC died at her feet and she invented an entirely new way to use magic so that she could learn revivify and spare the dying as an arcanist. while working on that project she shut herself in her room and didn't talk to anybody. after learning her parents were hostages she dove into working on her projects and shut herself in her room and didn't talk to anybody. a party member invited her to turn on the others and seems to this day to resent her for siding against him, and she doesn't know how to explain how she feels about the fact that he would even think to ask.

#this was not intentional but once I noticed now I think about it all the time like-- #she has so few meaningful relationships. she keeps collecting familiars and crafting and naming clockwork creatures for tiny servants. #people assume she doesn't care about other people and treat her accordingly #when we found out her house WAS haunted but that the ghost couldn't be spoken to or reasoned with she nearly cried #(after his spirit was freed one of his last messages was that he'd miss having her as a roommate) #I AM. I AM ROTATING HER IN MY MIND. #people expected her to take more risks with less regard to others and she leaned into that for years because it WAS advantageous #and now she's in her sixties and her closest relationships are to an owl and her parents whom she hasn't seen in over a year #she has... like... one and a half friends in the party but in a much more real sense she just doesn't know how to HAVE friends anymore #I think if you told her she's lonely she'd tell you you're being silly and would 100% sincerely mean it but. I think she's wrong #about me #my OCs #melliwyk