#sf9 texts | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

hoppipolla · 1 year

Text

Love doesn’t make you blind, it makes you selfish and desperate.

Yoojae is a very easy character to despise for he only appears as someone selfish and self-centred. But he is not. How do I know? Because a soul as thoughtful and kind as Hanjoon wouldn’t be friends with someone like that.

There is one simple fact that the recent episodes might have made us forget about: out of everyone — and yes I do include us viewers —, Yoojae is the one who knows Hanjoon best.

He knew that gifting him a laptop was a bad idea but he couldn’t bear the thought that someone else might have bought one for him if he hadn’t beaten them to it.

HJ: You know I wouldn’t like it. Why did you spend so much money on it?

Beyond hating that very idea, he felt distressed. Why did it not cross his mind that Hanjoon might not have his own laptop? How come a senior who barely knows him knew about that even when he didn’t? As @ueasking accurately pointed out in their post comparing the drama with the novel it originates from, money — or the lack of — is a leitmotif in Star Struck. Yoojae knew that Hanjoon would not like receiving such an expensive gift but it breaks Yoojae’s heart knowing that Hanjoon will always struggle to properly study if he doesn’t have a laptop; hence the fact he still bought him one. It was an insensitive thing to do but he couldn’t help it. Yoojae wants to take care of him and lift the weight he carries on his shoulders. He wants to be a shoulder on which he can always lean on. He doesn’t want Hanjoon to rely on anyone else. But Hanjoon doesn’t want to rely on him, not like that anyway. Taken out of context, it could be perceived as a toxic behaviour but it’s not. Yoojae cares immensely for Hanjoon and he wants to help him the best he can. His intentions are genuine but his actions always fail to make them clear.

I’m not excusing Yoojae’s behaviour though. Yoojae is indeed being selfish but what’s worse is that he is painfully aware of how much of an ass he’s being to Hanjoon. He hates himself for it but he doesn’t see any other way. Him throwing the chocolates in Hanjoon’s bin in front of him was useless and hurtful. He did so because he wanted to make sure that they could go back to how they used to be. As if throwing out the chocolates once and for all would make them forget that night in front of Hanjoon’s house.

If I could, I’d add an audio file to this text post with only the dialogue of this scene, the one before the time jump (i.e the chocolate box disaster scene).

Both actors did a brilliant job and their micro-expressions wonderfully reflected the inner turmoil both characters were going through. However, what absolutely shattered my heart is the fluctuation in Yoojae’s voice. The way his voice quavered and broke as Hanjoon’s words sank in.

He was taken aback by his confession and so he let his anger speak in his place because he was on the defensive. He thought Hanjoon was emotionally blackmailing him (see @ueasking’s post for more details) and he couldn’t believe that he was about to lose his best friend. Because they had made plans for their college life together. Because although his future was not yet all planned out, Hanjoon was always a part of it. Always was and always would.

So yes Yoojae acts immaturely, reacts in the worst possible ways, and doesn’t take into account Hanjoon’s feelings but it paradoxically shows how much he loves him. You have every right to think he is in the wrong for that but this isn’t the point.

I can’t even begin to imagine how much pain he had to go through while waiting for Hanjoon’s call which never came. Hanjoon was his safe place and he lost it the moment Hanjoon disappeared from his life. Strangely enough, he doesn’t resent him for it because he understands why Hanjoon did that. (Again, I adore Hanjoon so I’m not blaming him for disappearing. I’m not here to blame anyone anyway.) That’s why Yoojae greeted him with such a warm gaze and a genuine smile in the bar scene (ep 5).

Hanjoon leaving left a void in Yoojae’s heart so deep that it scared him. Now that Hanjoon is back in his life, he’d do anything to make him stay.

Yoojae tends to act on a whim and he doesn’t over-analyse his feelings. The moment Hanjoon agreed to be his friend again was all he ever wanted and so he stifled the confusing emotions that had aroused when Hanjoon confessed. However when he realised that they could never go back to their old-selves, a wave of panic washed over him (which explains his excessive drinking in ep 6).

The cafe scene during which he acts like a child who wants Hanjoon’s undivided attention is proof that both Hanjoon and him won’t ever be able to go back to just being friends. What led him to get drunk is that precise realisation. Parts of him must have anticipated the fact that Hanjoon would (or might) act differently but he didn't expect himself to be so on edge. The old Yoojae would not have reacted so strongly to Hanjoon’s being flirted with by a girl. When Hanjoon told him he loved him, it acted as a self-epiphany but this epiphany happened too soon. Yoojae wasn’t ready and Hanjoon needed to protect himself. Both hearts were broken that night although one expected it whereas the other didn’t.

The embodiment of Yoojae’s desperation was that scene near the end of ep 6.

So. Much. Subtext. It might be silly but although this scene has no dialogues, I can hear Yoojae’s every thought. His plea to make Hanjoon stay. His silent cry telling him to not run away. But Hanjoon breaks free from his grasp and Yoojae knows there is no going back. Hanjoon won’t indulge him anymore.

Truth be told, I didn’t want Yoojae to lean in for a kiss after Hanjoon told him to let him go (both literally and figuratively). Because he did so not because he was ready but because he was terrified of losing Hanjoon again.

Next week eps are going to be intense. I’m so scared to see Hanjoon’s reaction. The dialogue in the playground highlights yet again how absolutely amazing he is. The fact that he told Yoojae that his feelings for him are still very much alive and that staying close to him is agonising requires outstanding courage and says a lot about his character. I’ve said it before but I’ll say it again: Hanjoon is such a beautiful and brave soul. The way he is always so thoughtful, attentive, and kind to the people around him is everything to me. Even when he was shocked to see Yoojae once again after 5 months of not talking to him, he still found the emotional strength to try to soothe the girl crying next to him in the bar.

The fact that he kept on reliving the chocolates disaster scene for 5 months straight is just heart-wrenching. Knowing how thoughtful he is, I’m sure he felt guilty for not contacting Yoojae.

Although Star Struck abides by the BL genre conventions and uses some classic tropes, the well-written and raw dialogues and the detailed acting make it stand out and highlight how complex the human condition is especially when it comes to the most irrational of emotions: love.

Part 2

#starstruck #star struck #스타스트럭 #kdrama #yoojae x hanjoon #zuho #kim in sung #sf9 #I didn't proofread this as many times as I usually do so I hope it makes sense #I tried linking your post Shawn but my text post didn't show up in the tags so I deleted the link :( I'm sorry #*enjoy my nonsense #*starstruck analysis

51 notes · View notes

kbandtrash · 1 year

Text

Rich Boy SF9 Bullet Point AU (Hwiyoung x Reader)

~Rachel~

Masterlist

Yeah I did it again. And Jaeyoon is technically in the works. Also it's wild to me that Hwi and I are both 99 liners that's weird

Content: strangers to lovers, fluff, kissing, pretending not to know him, not exactly office romance, cooking, some rich ajussis are mean to you

Word Count: 4k

The first time you met him

At a meeting between your businesses for some legal negotiations

He was cold and chic and only said what he needed to say

The second time you met him

At the press conference announcing the collaboration of your companies

He was still cold and chic, but he had a little more charisma

But the third time you met him

At a public weekend cooking class your friend had promised to take with you

(She bailed)

He was unrecognizably warm and charismatic

You were unsure that he would recognize you because of the large difference in positions at your respective companies

He being the heir to his

And you being the lead public relations specialist in yours

So you chose a table sort of behind and across from him so you could both observe him and watch the teachers at the same time

Now you know that boy was raised rich

And if you weren’t 100% sure that you recognized him and the luxury brand watch on his wrist

You would have thought that he had a doppelgänger

What was a guy like him doing in a public class like this?

Didn’t he have the money to pay for someone to do this kind of stuff for him?

But he watched the teachers so intently and he looked like he knew his way around this stuff a lot better than you did

This was the first time you had seen him genuinely engaged and looking like he wanted to be there

Like sure at work he had nice eyebrows and he was admittedly pretty handsome or whatever

But wow when he was in his element he was positively radiant

Even if you hadn’t known who he was beforehand you probably still would have been staring at him

Somehow you managed to make it through the class without burning the food or yourself

But then you got paired with him for taste testing and you wished you were the fire on your gas stove

That is to say

Gone. Put out

If he recognized you then what

Pretend to be someone else?

You weren’t sure why you didn’t want to talk to him

Much less have him try your food

Probably something along the lines of he was so much higher than you on the business chain and how on earth were you supposed to just interact like you were equals

Too late he introduced himself

“Hi I’m Hwiyoung”

Oh good

“Hi I’m (Y/N)”

Lots to unpack there

He didn’t recognize you but he introduced himself casually and so you felt like you should too but oh man you knew who he was and that was totally out of line

But he did not care so you were just going to pretend like you didn’t care too

“Can I try yours first?” he asked

“Oh yep sure go ahead”

You were still speaking casually since he was and boy did it feel wrong but you couldn’t stop it from coming out of your mouth

It was also weird watching his face while he took a bite like no this dude is so much higher up on the social scale than you could ever hope to be but oh boy you really hope he likes it

It’s like anime sparkles were in his eyes

“Oh yours is different than mine! I like how you did it”

Insert joke about getting a good grade, which is both normal to want and possible to achieve

“I have strong opinions about garlic,” you said

“I can tell,” he responded, taking another bite

He let out the tiniest “oh wow”

This was both extremely gratifying and embarrassing at the same time

At the beginning of the class you were very excited to tell your coworkers what you had seen but now you thought you might die if anyone else found out

“Ah sorry!” he interrupted your thoughts, setting the plate down “I forgot you need to try mine too”

Honestly you were a little scared by his reaction to yours

If he thought your cooking was that good then his must be…subpar to say the least

But no even though you felt immense pressure to react positively as he watched you expectantly

You didn’t have to fake your reaction at all

His version of the dish fit your taste perfectly

He read your reaction wrong though

You had frozen stiff in surprise and he thought it meant that it was bad

But no no no you had to reassure him that you just had a bad case of rbf and actually it was really good

The next time you saw him at a meeting he did not recognize you

You figured he must meet a lot of people and rely heavily on context in order to recognize them

Plus you didn’t know if the cooking class was a secret or not so you didn’t want to out him accidentally in a professional environment

Not to mention he was back to his cold and quiet demeanor so that was intimidating

So you let the meeting pass without trying to say anything potentially out of line

And when you met again in your cooking class on the weekend he waved you over to share a station with him

You tried to make small talk with him about who he was and what he did just to make sure he really was the person you knew that he was

But he kind of steered away from any specific answers and that in and of itself was sort of confirmation

“What do you do for work?”

“Oh I work at X Group”

“That’s pretty prestigious what do you do there?”

“Just some administrative stuff you know”

You did know

And then he asked you the same questions

“So how about you what do you do?”

And you realized that if you answered then you would end up giving him a lead on who you were and that actually you had met in other circumstances

But like what are you going to do lie???

“I work at K Company”

“Oh right we’re doing some stuff with them these days. Are you involved with that?”

“Um yeah just some pr stuff though I’m not actually on the collab team”

He nodded you know the way you do when you’re like okay nice that’s your life

And then he froze in the middle of stirring the pan

Face just melted in realization

“We already know each other don’t we”

Oh no

You didn’t want to make him feel bad because you didn’t have any hard feelings that he didn’t recognize you

But also you didn’t want to make him feel awkward or threatened because that was how you already felt and you had no intention of holding anything over him

And you didn’t want him to go into business mode either because that was boring

But more importantly this was clearly supposed to be a comfortable space for him and you didn’t want to be an intruder

“I should have said something earlier,” you apologized

What next

What were you supposed to say next huh???

“But you were cute, so…”

NOT THAT

YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT

His ears flushed red and his eyes went wide

Attention went right back to the pan

And yours went back to cutting up the garnishes

“You’re um…”

He cleared his throat

“You’re cute, too”

OH???

This was only week two of cooking class

If anything was supposed to happen here it should have been down the line

No no no none of that nothing was “supposed to happen here”

He was like your boss-in-law that wasn’t allowed

But it wasn’t like you had approached him on purpose knowing who he was

It was kind of him that made the first move right?

Also it wasn’t like you technically met at work or anything so I mean

Maybe if he meant it then you could accept the compliment at least

Looking up as you shredded a carrot, you noticed his ears glowing like traffic lights

He was laser focused on making sure the pan was cooking evenly

“Oh um…thanks”

“Plus I like the way you balance spices” he added

“Oh um…” you repeated, apparently out of things to say “thanks?”

He cleared his throat and let the awkward silence build

For the rest of the class

In fact even as you said goodbye he just gave you a shy wave in return

And you knew you had broken this for him

You debated not going the next week

Or ever again

But also you had the same right to be there as he did and like just because he was some rich ceo heir dude didn’t mean he had more of a claim to that space

If he really wanted he could just hire a personal tutor probably

But still though you felt bad

You saw him at another meeting between your two companies

Yeah he recognized you this time you could tell

You tried very hard to focus on the notes you were taking for the press release stuff

But that was hard when he was making it obvious that he was trying not to look at you

You were starting to think that maybe he wasn’t like actually cool and chic

Maybe he was just raised as a sort of loner type and he was bad at talking to people

And maybe you had sort of tricked him into opening up to you in the cooking class

Whatever he was a rich boy heir to a company why did he need your sympathy??

Also he started it so you didn’t trick him into anything

But did he know that

Perhaps not

When the end of the meeting came he decided to say goodbye to everyone who came personally

(Side note we have a word for say hello (greet) but not say goodbye and this makes me angry every time I remember it)

But yep said goodbye to everyone

Shook their hands and thanked them for coming with a professional smile

But when it came to you it was hard for him to keep up his act

So he shook your hand and made shy eye contact for just a second before he looked back down at your hands

“I’ll see you next time, Miss (L/N)”

You were the last one out and it didn’t seem that anyone from your group was waiting for you

So you felt you had time to reply

“At the next meeting? Or…”

“I was hoping on Saturday,” he responded

“Unless you would rather not”

So he was okay

Then you were allowed to be okay with it, too, right?

You didn’t have a problem with it unless he did

So you smiled too

“I would like to see you on Saturday, too, actually”

It was like looking through a tinted window, but you could see a bit of the version of him you saw in the kitchen classroom for a second

And you know what.

Yeah okay it was cute

When you told him he was cute the first time you just meant like. It was sweet like aww good for you buddy

But now when your brain told you cute it meant oh dear he’s attractive

That was not ideal

He’s just a dude he’s just a dude

But he’s a rich and handsome dude

Not that the rich and handsome should matter necessarily

Doesn’t hurt

But the cutest things about him were

1) he was so excited about cooking like passions are super cute

And 2) it kinda looked like he might be interested too? Lol?

Mutual attraction law something something if he’s attracted to you first then like that’s the main thing that attracts you to him?

I believe in the power of that to some extent

Anyway that’s definitely what was going on here

May or may not have kept you up at night a bit

So when Saturday came and he wanted to share a station with you again

Keeping your composure and looking like a sane person that was totally okay with just being friends required 99% of your energy

Unfortunately the topic of the class was not something you could breeze through with the remaining 1%

So you were left either to be an incompetent mess of a student

Or an incompetent mess of a human being

Luckily that was not a conscious choice for you to make

Luckily being used in loosest of ways

And you ended up being both an incompetent mess of a student and a human being anyway so there went everything

Your supposed cooking prowess

Your potential as a friend found in an unlikely place

You were a shame to your ancestors, who had all clearly found love and reproduced if you were alive

How many hundreds of people had lived before you in order for you to be alive

And you couldn’t manage to do the same thing

Sike

He was a terrible mess as well

Both for the cooking and the human-ing aspects of the day

Partnered up at the same cooking station once again

Not even both of your combined efforts could make a successful dish

And the conversation the whole time?

Awkward and stilted enough to have been between two poorly built chatbots

Every time your eyes met it seemed like an accident

By the minute you thought he was handsomer and handsomer

And he kept turning redder than the cherry tomatoes you were supposed to be roasting

But by some miracle

He managed to work up enough conversation skills to ask you to dinner with him

“We didn’t manage to make anything edible today, so should we see how professionals do it?”

And like how can you say no

Turns out he had made a reservation for some super fancy place you’ve never heard of

And your brain is like okay let’s break that down

Fancy place very expensive way out of your budget

But he made the reservation so he planned on paying right?

He made a reservation wow

This was pre planned he wanted to take you to dinner anyway

Regardless of if what you made in the cooking class was edible

That was just an excuse

He wanted to spend more time with you and he had planned on it

Now you were a little scared of rich people shenanigans

So you were still wary of picking up this extremely obvious hint

Like normal boy? Yeah of course he’s into you

Rich boy? He might want something and this is a manipulation tactic

But in class he was a normal boy

He was so down to earth and awkward and cute

So you really wanted to take this at face value

Honestly at this point with any other boy you might have asked him out yourself already

But with rich people there’s a pride factor and you were kind of scared about it

Strangely though pride was not an issue here today

At least in terms of clothing

Neither of you were up to dress code at all for the restaurant because you were coming straight from the cooking class pretty much

But the staff recognized him apparently and they were cool with it?

When you looked at the menu and the prices you wanted to disappear immediately

The cheapest thing on the menu was daunting

But he pulled your menu down from your hands and put it on the table

He flipped a few pages and pointed to a dish

“I wanted to take you here because I thought you would like this one”

Okay yep you got that one loud and clear

This was a date and he wanted to spend time with you on purpose

He had been at a place like this and he had thought of you

Well then.

Guess it was time to let him know you thought of him the same way

You ended up ordering what he suggested for you and he was absolutely right

He also let you try a bite of what he ordered

And that was really good too

“But,” he said, “I don’t think it’s as good as how you might do it”

Challenge accepted

“If we buy the ingredients tonight then maybe we can try to make it tomorrow?”

His eyes lit up and his mouth stretched wide in a smile at your suggestion

And it was a plan

But then you were interrupted by some very well dressed older men

And unfortunately they recognized Hwiyoung

He didn’t seem terribly thrilled by this

But they made him talk to them anyway

They didn’t seem rude but they weren’t being terribly polite either

It felt weird to just sit there but you had no idea how to insert yourself into a rich people interaction

Plus by the way he glanced at you it seemed like he didn’t want to get you involved

But this guy is anti-smooth unfortunately so looking over at you inadvertently drew attention to you as well

And they started asking questions rather disdainfully

As he answered them honestly and with the most positive light he could, you were amazed at the lack of shame these men had in talking about you as if you weren’t there

Or as if you had no right or ability to contest the opinions they were forming about you

It seemed that Hwiyoung was more hurt by this than you were, somehow

When they finally left, he sat down with his business personality

“I think I’ve lost my appetite,” he admitted disappointedly

“I’m so sorry I couldn’t defend you properly, but if I tried, they would use more than their words to tear you down”

You shrugged

“They seem pretty wrapped up in their own importance”

His mouth twisted into a sad snicker

“It’s not a fun world to navigate”

You made a few more jokes at the expense of the rude rich dudes

And it kind of worked to bring him back to you

By this first experience with the upper class, you weren’t particularly fazed

But you wondered, if you stayed by his side, what the tenth encounter might do

The hundredth

The thousandth

You were so jumping the gun but they were valid thoughts to have it you were thinking about dating a guy that lived in this realm of wealth and self-importance

But as you wandered the supermarket aisles with him, picking out ingredients

You also wondered if he couldn’t do anything now because you were still testing the waters

He didn’t seem the type to let comments like that fly under the radar

So you wanted to give him another chance

He walked you back all the way to the front entrance of your apartment building

He could have driven

But, he bashfully admitted, he wanted to spend more time with you

It was hard not to invite him up, but it felt a bit improper

If you were the one storing the groceries, it would have only been natural

But since you would be cooking at his place the next day

And since he had more storage space anyway

He was taking everything with him

You felt sort of bad watching him walk away with like four bags of groceries

But it was also uh

Kind of hot

Plus like he volunteered himself for it he would be fine

The next day he greeted you at the front gate of his (ridiculous) house

With only the boyfriendiest of boyfriend vibes

It already felt like you were official honestly

It was such a weird and fast jump but it felt like you had always been together rather than this being like. Your second date

You spotted some hired workers trying to stay hidden as they spied on you

That was a little weird

But fumbling around and learning to cook this dish was far more captivating

And the boy? Far far far more captivating

It really didn’t feel right that you had only met a few weeks ago

That fact itself was more surprising than the moment you suddenly found yourself inches from him with his hand around your back and his other hand intertwined with yours

And you swayed back and forth to the music that was somehow exactly perfect for the moment

Yeah that just felt natural honestly

Last night you felt improper about letting him up to your apartment

Now here you were slow dancing in his kitchen

In matching aprons

Yeah you were done for

Head over heels he was your man now

Your free hand magically made its way up to his face and cupped his cheek

He was leaning in and your eyes fluttered closed and then

A timer going off startled you both into remembering what got you here in the first place

So you finished your dish and then sat down to taste test

And he was absolutely right

It was better when you made it together

The smile on his face told you everything you needed to know

The sparkle in his eyes when your eyes met was confirmation

It was so strange the next time your companies had a meeting

Employees on both sides were so confused

Since when did President Kim…….smile

Or speak in a voice that wasn’t monotone

Something changed……weird

By some miracle no one noticed the expressions you two exchanged

Neither of you were being subtle

But I guess if people don’t want to see it then they won’t

And your funny little secret totally flew under the radar

Also the next time you were caught by mean old chaebol men at a restaurant

He kinda let them have it when they tried to make disparaging remarks about you

He was so well-spoken too like you could tell he rehearsed it twelve hundred times in his mirror

They just kinda left with slightly humbled expressions

And he sat down with this disgruntled little huff and apologized to you again

His parents are like “well hmmm you’re not exactly who we hoped he would end up with…..”

You could see it in his eyes Hwiyoung was ready to go off on them

But then they were like “but. this is weird. we raised the boy and nothing but cooking ever makes him smile this much. welcome to the family”

Now he’s self conscious about how much he gets excited apparently because HE didn’t think he was that stonefaced

(You totally were babe. I almost didn’t recognize you the first time we met)

(It’s work!!!! Why do I have to be excited about business!!!!!!)

But he’s YOUR stonefaced ceo chef boyfriend so

He supposes it doesn’t matter that much as long as you like him that way

Anyway once again I shall leave you with your first kiss

It happened the same day as when you went over to his house to make that dish

After you had eaten you could tell he was a little nervous about something and you couldn’t figure out what it was

Were you accidentally being mean to him and you thought you were being flirty

You didn’t think so but now you were nervous about it

No turns out he was just thinking about how you totally would have kissed if that stupid timer had gone off even like five seconds later

And he was trying to find an entry point back into that mood because he was kind of scared to just like. kiss you

Anyway he ended up mumbling that when you asked him if he was okay and you barely caught any of it

But you managed to catch the message

So you asked him if he had a good view of the sky from anywhere in his house

Yes he did have a nice balcony with a perfect view of the sunset

So you let him take advantage of the slightly chilly spring evening and the golden hour

And he kissed you properly

Chani

#sorry the blocking is weird i think they changed something with tumblr about like character per text block limit :/#sf9 #sf9 x reader #sf9 hwiyoung #hwiyoung #hwiyoung sf9 #hwiyoung x reader #rich boy au

17 notes · View notes