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octoberclidan · 11 months

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Do You Want Me to do it Properly?

Request: This is my first time requesting so sorry if im doing it wrong 😭 could you do a dean fic of him figuring out the reader has a choking kink

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Fem!Reader

Note: this is 18+ due to quite explicit smut and, as per the request, involves a choking kink

Masterlist

Story

[Y/N] and Dean had arrived back in the bunker from a hunt in the late afternoon. It went well, just an average ghost, and there had been no casualties or major injuries. They had decided to hold off on the post-successful-hunt celebrations until the following night when Sam and Cas should be back from their hunt. Dean and [Y/N] planned to order pizza, kick back in the Dean Cave, and have a movie marathon. Although Dean and [Y/N] were close friends and had been living in the bunker together for a few years now, there was one issue with their plans; they clashed when it came to movie choices. They had gone their separate ways when they got back, planning to relax a bit before their inevitable argument over movies later.

[Y/N] decided to enjoy a bath, washing off all of the dirt and sweat from the hunt. The bunker had a large bath which she had grown very fond of. Neither of the boys tended to use it, and Cas didn't wash at all, so she was thankful to have it all to herself. She kept various body washes, shampoos, and conditioners on the side of the bath which the boys weren't allowed to touch. She lit some candles, breathing in her favourite scent, and relaxed with the tingling sensation of the bubbles popping on her skin. She hadn't allowed herself to properly relax in over a month; she'd been on back to back hunts with the boys for weeks, and this was the first night she was spending back in the bunker.

When the water cooled, she got herself out and towelled dry. She dried her hair and slipped into her most comfortable pyjamas, which were just a tank top and a pair of light shorts. She then walked down to Dean's door to see if he was ready for the movie night, but his room was empty. She continued along the corridor until she found the Dean Cave. Apart from her bedroom, this was the room in the bunker where she spent most of her free time, when she wasn't working on a case. Stepping inside, she found Dean looking through a stack of DVDs, and the table in front of them full of snacks.

"DVDs? I thought we were going to find something on Netflix that we hadn't watched yet". She said as she sat down on the couch beside him.

"We're watching Tombstone, it's not an option". Dean said as he finally found the one he was looking for. She rolled her eyes at him.

"We're not watching Tombstone again, we've watched it like a million times".

"I wanna watch it again". He shrugged and stood up to pop the DVD into the player, and [Y/N] took the opportunity to grab the remote from the table and stick on Netflix. Looking at the Netflix logo popping up on the screen, Dean chuckled and looked back to her. "Yeah, not gonna happen. Give me the remote".

"No".

"[Y/N]..." He warned, frowning at her.

"No, why do you always get to pick?"

"'Cause I'm the oldest".

"I think Cas has you beat there". She laughed.

"Nah he's just a baby in a trenchcoat, he wouldn't know a good movie if it hit him in the face".

"How do you even know what a good movie is if you won't watch anything new? Come on, just this once". She said as she started browsing through the latest additions.

"Give me the remote [Y/N], come on". He stood up and made his way towards her, stretching his hand out, but she crossed her arms, tucking the remote safely between her side and the arm rest on the couch.

"I said no".

"Okay, well then you're really not giving me any choice". He said as he looked down at her.

"What do you me-". She didn't finish her question as Dean tackled her, trying to reach behind her and grab the remote. Not letting the surprise make her lose, she quickly pulled her arm out and lay down on the couch, trying to get it out of Dean's reach. "Dean!" She gasped as he lay on top of her, reaching out for the remote in her hand. "Dean get off, you're heavy".

"Give me the remote".

"Let's try to compromise". She managed to get out between trying to wriggle out from underneath him. She wasn't opposed to being this close to him, she had actually been very attracted to him from the day they met, but he really was too heavy to be lying on top of her completely.

"No compromises Sweetheart, that remote is mine". He pushed himself farther up her body to reach her hand, but in the process ended up leaning his other hand directly on her throat, immediately cutting off her airway. She tried to slap his hand with her free hand, unable to speak, but he was too focused on the remote. She tried kicking him but her legs were pinned under his. She quickly gave in and brought the remote down to him, which he happily grabbed and looked down at her with a smug look, only for it to be wiped off his face immediately when he realised where he was putting pressure. "Shit, shit [Y/N] I'm sorry". He quickly got off her. Once she could breathe again her breath came out like a moan, and she froze. She could feel her cheeks heating up. She had just moaned in front of Dean. Sure, she had felt butterflies before when he'd winked at her, or brushed his fingers against hers, or when she'd seen him without a shirt on after a hunt. This was more than butterflies. She could feel the heat pooling between her legs, her heart was racing, she was definitely turned on.

Luckily, he didn't seem to hear the moan, or if he had he ignored it, and helped her to sit back up and knelt in front of her. He pushed her hair behind her shoulders as she tried steady her breathing and examined her neck. His gentle touch on her neck and collar bone was definitely not helping her situation, each brush giving her goosebumps. "It's fine Dean, it was only a couple of seconds". She was extremely embarrassed and just wanted to go to her room, but Dean was focused on her neck, his fingers continuing to trace gently around it looking for any marks.

"I promise you it was an accident, I didn't know my hand was on your neck. You know I'd never hurt you on purpose, right?" His eyes finally looked up from her neck to meet hers. His face was flooded with concern, but all she could focus on was the fact that his hand was still resting on her neck, his thumb lightly gliding up and down. She supposed it would be comforting if it wasn't turning her on so much, she was trying not to squirm in her seat, desperate for some friction but trying not to let Dean see the effect he was having on her. They had flirted, teased each other, but they'd never acted on anything. He was her friend, and she was his, and she wasn't willing to take any chances and ruin their relationship. She cleared her throat and stood up, and Dean's hand fell to his side as he stood back up to give her space.

"Yeah, I know it was an accident, don't worry about it". She smiled at him. "I'm uh, I'm actually pretty tired, it's been a long few weeks. I'm gonna go to bed, I'll see you tomorrow? I'm looking forward to all of us celebrating".

"Oh, yeah, sure. I'll see you tomorrow then". He scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, and she avoided eye contact as she made her way out of the room. She lay down on her bed and groaned, she was sure Dean had heard her, had probably seen her blush too, and now things were most likely going to be awkward between them for awhile. Why on earth did she react like that? She'd never even considered choking as being something that would turn her on. She'd never fantasised about it, she always associated it with being choked by monsters on hunts. But there was something about Dean, Dean's hands, his fingers. They were warm, capable, experienced. They were rough, and strong, but soft and gentle at the same time.

She brought her hand up to her neck and lightly stroked it, feeling the traces of his fingers. She imagined how it would feel if she was anticipating it, if she knew it was going to happen, if she could let her mind enjoy it just as much as her body wanted it. She wrapped her fingers around her neck, not applying any pressure, just holding it, and her other hand crept under the waistband of her shorts, resting on top of her panties. She was just about to apply a bit of pressure with both hands when there was a knock on her door, and she ripped her hand out from under her shorts and away from her neck. She cleared her throat and sat up in her bed, and there was another knock. She panicked a little bit, why was he knocking? Was he aware that she'd been turned on by him and now wanted to talk about it? Was their friendship over? Did he think she should move out?

She slowly made her way over to her door and opened it to find Dean looking down at her. "Hey?" She asked cautiously.

"Hey".

"Uh, what's up?"

"Did you like it?"

"Did I... did I like w-what?" She stuttered.

"The choking. Your moan, were you turned on?"

"Dean... I am so sorry, I'm so embarrassed. We really don't need to talk about it".

"Do you want me to do it properly?"

"W-what?" She felt her cheeks heat up yet again at his question.

"By all means tell me no, and I'll go back to my room, we never have to bring it up again, tomorrow it will be like we never had this conversation". He gave her a reassuring smile. "But, if you want me to do it properly, I know how".

"You know how to do... what?"

"Choke you, in a pleasurable way. A safe way". He shrugged, and took a step towards her. He towered over her, and he was now wearing a smirk. "If you wanna give up control to someone, you can give it to me. I'll take care of you [Y/N]". He hooked his finger under her chin and pulled her face up. "Tell me that this is okay". He whispered, leaning his forehead against hers. She nodded and he chuckled. "I need you to use your words here Sweetheart, I need you to say stop if you want to stop, I need you tell me it's okay if it's okay".

"It's okay". She whispered. Dean didn't waste any more time, he stepped into the room, pushing her backwards, and closed the door behind him. She had never felt butterflies so intense as she watched him close his eyes and lean down. The moment his lips touched hers, her eyes fluttered closed too. Despite her earlier embarrassment, she couldn't help but let out a moan as Dean's hand grabbed her ass, the other slipping under her tank top and gripping her waist. Dean groaned when he heard the moan, and he licked her lower lip, silently asking for access. She gave in immediately, deepening the kiss as Dean's tongue invaded her mouth. Her hands found their way into his hair and she tugged it, pulling another groan from him. He walked her backwards until the backs of her knees hit the bed, and she fell back onto it, finally breaking the kiss.

Dean pulled his shirt off over his head, exposing his chest to her and she stared at him with her mouth open. She had seen him shirtless before, but this angle, lying in front of him with him now crawling on top of her, was different. He leant down and nipped at her neck, then began to kiss her jaw and made his way back to her lips. Her hands roamed his chest and his broad shoulders. He brought his body down to grind against her, making a space between her legs for himself. His fingers gripped the hem of her tank top and he pulled it up, only breaking the kiss when he needed to pull it off over her head. As soon as it was off he reached around and unhooked her bra with ease, pulling it away from her and throwing it onto the floor beside them. He moaned when he saw her, and he leaned down to lick around her nipple, while his fingers lightly pinched the other. She bucked up towards him but he grabbed her hips and pushed her back down onto the bed. "Patience, [Y/N]". He winked at her.

"I need more Dean, please". He instantly sucked her nipple into his mouth and began to swirl his tongue around it as his thumb hooked into the waistband of her shorts and he pulled them off her, joining the rest of her clothes on the floor. He pressed his thumb onto her clit, only the thin cloth of her panties acting as a barrier. "Oh my god, Dean, please, touch me properly". She was wriggling beneath him trying to create some friction under his thumb, but he just smiled and kissed his way back up her neck and quickly pecked her lips. He pulled her panties down and stood back up off the bed, looking down at her with a hunger in his eyes as he undid his belt. She felt a bit self conscious, completely naked on the bed while he watched her as he pushed his jeans and boxers down.

"You're fucking breathtaking [Y/N]. Do you know how long I've wanted you? To get my hands on you? To make you feel good?" He crawled back on top of her and stroked her cheek, before slowly tracing his fingers down the side of her neck, over her collar bone, over her nipple, down her stomach and eventually running over her clit and lightly dipping in between her legs. He moaned into her neck as he felt her. "You're already so wet for me". He licked her neck as he slowly pushed one finger inside. She gasped, she wasn't a virgin by any means but it had definitely been awhile since she'd been intimate with anyone, and Dean's fingers were not slender. His thumb circled around her clit and he continued to kiss, lick, and suck at her neck as he slowly eased a second finger in. He reacted to her movements, pulling his fingers out and pushing them in as she grabbed at his shoulders. He hooked his fingers, brushing against just the right spot inside her and she moaned loudly, moving her hand up to grab his hair. "Fucking love that sound, the things it does to me. On that couch earlier when you moaned I couldn't get it out of my mind, you make such pretty sounds Sweetheart". He mumbled into her neck as he pushed a third finger inside.

"Dean, I'm ready, I need you". She managed to get out between deep breaths.

"[Y/N]... with the choking, you tap twice and I stop, okay?"

"Yes, yes okay, please Dean". She knew she'd probably feel embarrassed tomorrow at her own begging and pleading, but there was no room for embarrassment in this moment; only need and desire.

"You have a condom?" He asked and she shook her head.

"I'm on the pill, and I trust you, I want to feel you Dean, please". He smiled against her neck and slid his fingers out of her. He sat up, between her legs as he lined himself up and stroked himself a few times, his other hand splayed out on her lower stomach. He looked up into her eyes and he pushed the tip inside. Her eyes closed and she tried to push her hips up to take him in further, but his hand on her stomach was stopping her.

"Open your eyes Sweetheart, I want to see them". She opened her eyes and looked into his, and he started to push further inside. He let go of himself as he pushed as far as he could go, and with his newly free hand he went back to paying attention to her clit. Dean was big, but he felt perfect. He leaned over her as he began to thrust in and out slowly. She held on to his shoulders as they rocked the bed, the headboard lightly banging into the wall behind them. She would have taken a moment to appreciate the fact that they were alone in the bunker if she wasn't completely consumed by Dean. His breath was warm against her lips as he began to kiss her, his familiar smell surrounded her, and he filled her completely.

She felt the familiar sensation of heat and tingling build up below her stomach as Dean's thrusts became harder, and as he kept his thumb rubbing her clit steadily. The hand he had kept on her stomach made its way up her body, stopping to play with her nipples again before continuing up to her neck. His hand was large, and he wrapped it around her neck, not yet applying any pressure, just stroking it on one side as he kissed the other. "Dean, I'm close".

"I know, I've got you". He whispered, and began to apply pressure. This was a completely new feeling for [Y/N]. She closed her eyes and focused on the feeling of his hand on her neck, he had so much control and power over her right now, she was completely vulnerable yet felt entirely safe in Dean's hands. He tightened his grip and she felt herself getting closer and closer, she was no longer breathing. The only thing she could feel was an almost unbearable pleasure as she came. It was the most intense pleasure she had ever felt, and she clenched around Dean, feeling as he came with her. When he let go of her neck and and she gasped, breathing in, it only prolonged her orgasm, giving her a second wave.

He collapsed on top of her and pulled himself out, causing her to moan one last time as she no longer felt full. He rolled off her onto his side and began to pepper kisses along her neck and collar bone. "Are you okay?" He asked and she nodded slowly. "Words, Sweetheart". He brushed her hair out of her face and kissed her cheek.

"More than okay". She felt him smile against her lips as he gently kissed her.

"Does your neck hurt?" He asked as he looked at it, noting the marks he'd left from sucking.

"No, no, I feel amazing". He chuckled at her blissed out expression and leaned up to kiss her forehead before pushing himself off the bed. "Where are you going?" She asked, suddenly feeling exposed and disappointed, was this just an experiment for Dean? Was he just helping her scratch that itch? Did he enjoy it as much as she had?

"I'm just going to get a cloth [Y/N], I'll be right back, promise". He smiled at her as he pulled his boxers back on and left the room. She lay on her bed staring at the ceiling, feeling like she'd just run a marathon, Dean Winchester knew what he was doing when it came to sex. That was for sure. He came back in only a few minutes later with a damp cloth and and a glass of water. He wiped her down, gently, and she realised she was feeling a bit tender as she whimpered under his touch. "I've got you, you're okay". He whispered as he finished up and helped her into her tank top and a clean pair of panties from her drawer. "Here, take a drink". He said as he passed the glass of water to her. She eagerly drank and smiled at him as he took the glass back from her. He lay back on the bed beside her and opened his arms, inviting her in. She lay her head on his chest and he pulled the covers up around them. He pressed his lips into her hair and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, lightly dragging his fingers up and down her arm.

"Was that like... was that a one time thing?" She asked hesitantly.

"Do you want it to be a one time thing?" He asked and she shook her head and snuggled in closer to him.

"No".

"Then it's not a one time thing. I'm yours".

The end

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liopleurodean · 1 year

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Season 3, Episode 11: Mystery Spot

HEAT OF THE MOMENT BABY, LETS GO

Rise and shine, Sammy!

Dean. What are you doing

Whoa

Can't leave without the gun

Pig 'n a poke!

Ouch, Sam

Whack

Yikes

Doggo!

Suspicious

They're focusing a lot on random people

That's just weird

Sure, Sam

Uh oh

That guy doesn't look like he can handle a gun

That was sadly anticlimactic

That would be so confusing

Wasn't a dream, Sam

Why were those your first thoughts, Dean?

Today is Tuesday, too!

Extremely

Dean.

That wasn't reflex

The doggo is back!

And then Dean died

Watch for cars

He really went flying

This is kinda sad to watch

Dean. Not now

Exactly!

I think he's starting to get it

Or not

Because Dean keeps dying!

Think, Dean

No, it really didn't

I admire that, actually. He kept up appearances

Stop spouting slogans, dude

Chill a little, Sam

It's already nighttime

Holy crap

Poor Sam

The sausage is gonna kill him

What did I say?

Bubbles!

Why does he always die in such embarrassing ways?

Nooooo

Sam. You can't just swipe someone's keys

Yikes

Yeah, I respect that

That was horrifying

Oop-

Nice, Dean!

No, not the dog!

Kind of sad, actually

Tuesday, that's when

Interesting...

But Dean didn't die that time?

Sam. Chill a little

Dean is so confused

I do not like this guy

Dude. Not cool

Just stab him already

Not even close

Uh oh

Well crap

Oh, Sam...

Upgrades

I don't like this Sam

Is that really Bobby?

Huh.

Sam...

Don't talk to Bobby like that

This is a risky gamble, Bobby

Mm, I don't think that was right

Facts though

Liar

History reference!

He's actually got a point

Wednesday!

Once again, Dean is confused

A lot else happened

#ashla chick flick moments #supernatural #season 3 episode 11 #mystery spot

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aestheticsuwu · 3 years

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🌌🕹°Time Travel is a Bitch 🕹°🌌

Part 1 / 2

Time travel au . Pairings : Sam LaRusso x Miguel Diaz, Robby Keene x Doug Rickenberger, Eli "Hawk" Moskowitz x Demetri .

....

A snippet how one mohawk teenager manages to time travel with unwilling friends to a time where both senseis were pining from a distance , now the thing was they now have to manage how to survive-only good thing they all get to meet Mr Miyagi but unfortunately for the old man has to undure chaotic kids .

......

Wtf

Was exactly what was on eveyones mind . They were all having a normal day at the dojo , everyone with their signaficent other just fooling aroud and conversating .

Then suddenly , Poof .

...... ....

Sam and Miguel were teaching each other new moves with a flirty banter , Tory was letting Moon braid her hair while adding adorable pins . Hawk was rummaging through the boxes of Mr. Larusso and Mr. Myagi with Demetri .

While he was laying back in between Dougs legs and skimmy through the pages of Mr. Larusso yearbook .

" She looks hot "

Turning to glare at his dumb giraffe of a boyfriend that has no right to be looking at other people while he has a whole snack on his lap .

" Damn . "

" Dougie , Im this close to hitting you with this damn book . " He wasn't kidding .

" Im sorry , baby . " Rolling his eye and pouting after hearing Doug chuckle .

" Give me a kiss . Robby , Robby . You know your the only one i want , pretty boy . Give me a kiss . "

" Ok " Turning around to kiss him , because hey ! , he's human after all and he lives off of affection now.

Everyone was to busy in their own little bubble that they didn't hear Demetri telling Hawk to stop .

" Eli , i think we should leave that alone . "

" Dem , dont worry . I got it under control just because the warning said not to- uh oh . "

" Eli ! "

" Whats going on guys ? "

Miguel rushed after hearing Demetri , Sam walking behind him to see what had happened .

" Nothing , right Dem ? "

" uhhh .... Yeah. i was just overreacting like always " Elbowing his boyfriend for making him lie , He was already feeling guilty . Demetri just hoped there wouldn't be consequences.

You see in that moment they should've confronted the situation throughly. Knowing Godamn Eli Moskowitz was a crazy chaoctic dude that was never up to no good .

Especially after Hawk had made up that tazer tag game dragging Doug into the mess .

But they all turned a blind eye . Why ? Well because they needed the peace and quiet .

Hawk didn't quite get the assignment .

Moon and Tory left after saying they had a date planned for the afternoon . They left hand in hand looking in love as ever .

Doug was helping him get up from the floor when suddenly everything started to shake and if it wasnt for his boyfriend he would've ended up on the floor .

" What the hell is going on ! " , He shouted , wrapping his arms around Doug while the lights flickered .

Sam and Miguel were holding hands while trying to maintain balance over the turbulance of the floor .

" Shit , shit , shit shit ." Demtri kept chanting over and over . Alongside Hawk who was looking at Demetri as he hold onto a box .

It didnt help their case when Hawk opened his mouth , being the last thing they all heard.

" Were about to die , no cap fam ! "

Suddenly it all turn black .

..... ...... ....

Robby didn't like to point fingers but he's totally going to since he had a feeling it was Hawks fault .

Waking up felt like the worst hangover he ever had while he had to look at his surrondings . It was dark and no sign of no one .

Furrowing his eyebrows , confused at the sudden change of location. He rubbed his temples to ease the headache , He starts calling out to his boyfriend .

Because well Sam and Demetri would look for their boyfriend . If not , then he was a really bad friend .

" Doug ! , Doug ! Rickenberger ! " He was met with silence . Reaching his pocket to call his Doug and his friends but it was nowhere to be found .

He swore that if they were pranking him right now he would kick their asses .

Turning around quickly once hearing someone call his name but couldn't find the person .

" Keene ! " He knew that voice ! Running towards the silhouette , hoping it was his boyfriend and not a stranger that he was about to jump on .

Crashing to his boyfriends body holding on tight , he feels the other arms squeeze him while he gave him kisses on his hair .

Both sighing of relief , until Doug pushed him away to look at him .

" Where the fuck were you !? " The taller boy asked , slightly raising his voice . He was scared for a moment thinking he had lost his short boyfriend .

" I was here ? Where were you ? Where's the rest of the guys !? . " A look of panic crosses his face realising none of his friends were around . Doug dismissed his questions and took a hold of his hand taking him somewhere.

The rest of the group was outside of a dinner that he never seen before . Somehow they all looked different . Sam no longer had highlights and Hawks Mohawk was gone and no hint of hairdye in his auburn hair .

They all looked shaken up like they all seen a ghost . Catching his breath as Demetri passes him a newspaper . Everyone waiting for him to read , guess they forgot about his dyslexic ass .

Headlines with a bunch of shit he clearly didnt have time for , something about a mall's grand opening and Coke raising up sells but what made him feel like hhis lungs stopped was the date . Nowhere near 2021 that was for sure .

Ring of bells rang once the door from the Dinner had opened . Laughter coming from the direction of a group of teenagers wearing red leathered jackets just mocking them .

Were fucked .

Oh god , they always had to deal with his dad and Mr. LaRusso pining now they have to deal with their teenage pining . He couldnt catch a break .

" We're Fucked . "

" And not in a good way ." They all turn to glare at Hawk after the words left from his mouth .

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liron-ao3 · 3 years

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Valid

Dean sets the moving box on their new dining table.

Their.

It still feels strange to say and think that. But this is their house. Castiel's and his. Fully furnished, a back garden with a bee-friendly meadow, and a huge garage at the front for Baby and whatever eco-friendly monstrosity his partner will be able to talk him into.

They fixed this house for months, working with their bare hands, sweating ridiculously, stealing kisses in between. They have been the best months of Dean's life, and even though his joints creak just a little more now and his knee is acting up like a bitch, Dean wouldn't change it for the world.

It's a house to be filled with memories. A home, like maybe only the bunker ever was to Dean. It's full of things, some shiny and new, some old, given a second life. Just like them.

Dean has never owned so many things before. Even in his year with Lisa. He had always known that he was only a guest in her life. He lived in her house, loved her son, mowed her lawn. Maybe that would have changed over time. Maybe a year is simply not enough to create an 'ours' from 'mine' and 'yours'.

It's their house already though, even though they are only moving in today.

Dean opens the box that holds the few things he might call his own forever, though. Like the picture of him and his mum before she died. Well, the first time when he was a kid. There are bits and bobs, knick-knacks picked up on the road, too. A tiny drawing that a little girl made for him after he saved her and her parents on a solo hunt. It's yellowed and crinkled. He smiles at it. That had been one of the good days.

Some pieces remind him of the women he used to love. A ring that he had meant to give Cassie more than a decade ago. He doesn't even know why he kept it. Maybe as a reminder? Of what, he isn't so sure. Maybe that someone once loved him, simply for being himself. It's a fucked-up, twisted way of thinking, but well. He's Dean Winchester, after all. Not the best boyfriend material.

He looks up and through the wide windows that give the impression of the garden reaching into their living room. He watches Castiel for a long moment, the way his shoulders twitch as the angel seems to be in deep conversation with a hummingbird. Dean huffs a laugh. Castiel is a weird little bean, avenging angel and little puppy cramped into an unfitting trench coat. At least, his boyfriend owns more clothes now. He simply wears it out of nostalgia.

It's still hard to believe that this man wants to be his, saw his very soul and fell in love with it. Dean still struggles, but he's tired of running away from himself, from love in the fear of losing it. Castiel is his best friend and the third love of his life. Hopefully the last.

Dean has slept with many, girls, guys, and non-binary people. It didn't matter. There only had to be the sparkle, the special tension that pulls two bodies together until they collide in an explosion of passion, fast-burning, the flame already extinct come morning.

It was all he thought he deserved. Everyone who stayed with a Winchester was destined to die for them. He can count the women in his life that didn't die through Chuck's stupid games on one hand.

Dean clicks the ring box open. He hopes that Cassie is happy with whatever bastard is blessed enough to have her at his side. She still holds a special place in Dean's heart. And he loves that he can talk about her with Castiel, that there is no jealousy, just happiness that Dean once had someone who loved him, and grief that it wasn't meant to be.

Like with Lisa. But that was different. Dean still doesn't know what he loved more—her or the idea of loving her, the version of himself that he was at her side. It doesn't matter now. Castiel made all their pictures disappear, along with the memories in her and Ben's heads. He left one photograph of their little family on Dean's pillow, though. The one he crammed into his duffle bag and put into his bedside drawer in the bunker.

Leaving Lisa and Ben had hurt like a bitch. And Castiel held him after a nightmare in which Dean dreamt they were taken by vampires. He had been so angry at him, shouting that it was all his fault. And Castiel had looked at him with sad eyes, saying, "I know."

But he was wrong. Dean knows it wasn't anybody's fault. Both of them tried to do the right thing. Even Castiel as he watched him raking the leaves and decided to let him go. Out of love, even though Castiel didn't have the word for this emotion back then.

Dean runs his fingers through the items that he only spilt from the drawer in a rush, already too late because of a hunt popping up. Castiel didn't comment on his tardiness. Dean knows that he worries about losing him. He can see it in his eyes, every time he needs to heal him. But Dean is worried about him, too. He has seen him die too many times. Castiel may be an angel, but he's far from invincible.

Dean stops still when he touches a small magnet, nestled between a soldier figure he played with growing up on the backseat of the Impala, and a flyer for a wedding venue that was haunted by a ghost before he and Castiel banished it. He took the leaflet, just in case. It's stupid, of course. He's officially dead and he won't marry Jimmy Novak. No way! And it's not as if he would think about marriage, or giving kids made orphans by the supernatural a home or something.

He takes the magnet and looks at it. It's bent a little, the colours slightly chapped. But the pink, purple, and blue are still recognisable. He got it many years ago when he stumbled into a pride event hunting a werewolf.

"So, what letter of the alphabet are you?" a gum bubble making twink had asked him, scanning him from head to toe, sending a rush of endorphins through Dean, better than the one after killing the rogue wolf half an hour earlier.

"B," Dean had said, flashing him his most winsome smile. He had never said it out loud before that moment. Why define who you are if you only share a bed for one night?

Sam had been surprised when he and Castiel got together. Eileen much less so. Maybe because she had known it all along, kindred souls and all that crap.

A smile tugs on the corner of Dean's lips, and he looks up from the magnet to the garden again. Castiel is standing on their porch, watching him with a soft, close-lipped smile.

"Creepy," Dean calls, heat rising into his cheeks. He's still not used to being looked at like this. With so much love and devotion. Castiel said he had to learn to live with it. Dean's trying, but as of yet, it still makes him squirm. But in a good way.

"Mind if I put these on the fridge?" He holds up the photographs and the drawing with a questioning, vulnerable look.

Castiel smiles even wider. "Of course. They're all family."

Dean takes out a breath, feeling like he hasn't drawn air for days. He nods, walks to the kitchen, and fixes the items with magnets on the fridge. Then he looks at the three-coloured magnet in his hand. He may not really have hidden his sexuality, but he didn't show it proudly either. Maybe it's time for it now.

He bends it so that it is plane again, and presses it under the pictures of him and his mum, a snapshot of him, Sam, Eileen, and Castiel. Next to the picture of him with Lisa and Ben, and the drawing of that little girl who drew him with a cowboy hat. He looks at the fridge door and nods. This is him.

Loving son and brother, friend, saviour, bisexual man, surrogate father, and boyfriend. He's more than a hunter, more than a piece on Chuck' checkerboard, more than the sum of his mistakes. He has loved, and he has failed. And despite it all, he is proud. Not too much. But he can feel it, burning in his chest. He is valid and worthy of having it all.

#dean winchester #bi dean #bi dean winchester #oneshot #destiel fandom #deancas fandom #bi visibility day #bi visibility #bi pride #destiel #deancas

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bonnienapierfilm · 2 years

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STAIRWELL CRIT! (subject #36)

https://vimeo.com/654279244

I'm aware our final project name was subject #36, but all my other posts are called stairwell...and after this project I'm continuity obsessed. Anyways, I am so so so so so happy with the feedback from our film and how the class and lecturers received it. We are all so chuffed :)!

I'll just get down all the notes I have from the crit then get more into my reflection afterwards.

Class Feedback

"Ambiguous!" - Absolute Yes Man (James Fox)

The crying and purring was "sick and twisted". Good thing!

The silence during the CU's of Brian before he is killed is effective.

We couldn't see a lot, scientist wise, but we saw enough. Effective use of cinematography to create mystery.

It was thought that our monster might have been eating a baby and not mimicking the sounds of one.

A possible eye twitch or bigger reaction from our scientist when he is told about the crying would aid the line at the end, make it more effective.

The death of Brian could have been a POV, as we stay with him most the film then move to scientist for death (this was debated by a few people).

Linger on opening shot of hands too long, as well as one of the following shots from a low angle of the blood.

It wasn't clear the scientist was in the room with other people until the end, could have added breathing or mumbling in the room.

A slower build on the crying would have been better.

I'd like to say thank you to everyone who has been so lovely about our film, we are all each others biggest supporters and it's lovely. I thoroughly enjoyed all the other films and watching the few of us film students that had to career change and act for a lil bit (you all did great).

David B Feedback

Good use of cinematography to tell the story.

Using a moving light source was smart, and the shots of the light through the railings worked well.

More lens flare could have been used.

Good focus full on on scientist CU.

The LED light can be seen in the computer screen.

A reflector could have been used on the hand held torch to light Brians face.

"Great eyeball acting" - scientist (well done Sam!)

David L Feedback

Shot of torch pickup - nice.

More shots of the mic in the scientist room could have been used.

Fire exit sign was distracting.

Could have spliced in CU of the monster when Brian first sees him.

Edit could be tightened.

Zoe Feedback

TOO LONG! Could have been more restrained with the footage, cut more out.

Liked the silence in the stairwell, this could have been pushed.

The water bubbling sound in office was a bit distracting.

Should have held on shot at end more with crying line, a few more beats. However the line itself is great and chilling.

Liked the credits. Was still part of the experience of the whole film.

Extremely good work. (thank you!!!)

Juliet Feedback

Only little picky things, but overall very good.

Don't see the scientists whole face, makes him sinister.

More reverb on footsteps in the CU.

Leo Feedback

Would have looked too fake if the death was a POV of Brian, the way we did it through the screen was smart.

We knew what to focus on, cinematography wise.

(Sorry I run out of lengthy notes towards the end, it came to a lot of agreeing or disagreeing so I hadn't kept writing repeated things down!)

Reflection

We got great notes from everyone on the crit, some things we were aware of and some that opened our eyes. It definitely makes me realise that having people outside the project watch the edit every now and then would be helpful, to help pick up on mistakes you hadn't.

I'll reflect on each part of the film...

For the edit I was extremely happy with the work Tom and Cal put in, I know they squabbled like kids (or people in the film industry) but the disagreements and debates are what get the best results, I think...? In terms of criticism, we had a few lingering shots at the beginning: the POV hand shot and the blood. We felt we did need to hold on these shots for dramatic effect, however I agree that we could have shortened them slightly, especially since our film was way too long. Zoe said we could have been more restrained with the footage. This is true but would have been a bit difficult, as Cal wanted this seemingly never ending stairwell, so we needed a lot of shots of Brian descending to help get this across. However, cutting down a few shots would help bring the 4 minutes closer to 3! We received mixed feedback about the death of Brian. Some thought we should have returned to a POV shot for this, to make it scarier and more intense. But we had only filmed on a smart phone as we planned for it to be a GoPro shot anyways. I think this would have worked but for a student film it would have been ambitious, we stuck with what we knew we could do. I think the death being shown from the safety of the screen worked best, I felt this would help add to the sinister tones of the scientist when seeing how little he cares about Brians death, the way he watched without flinching. A couple people mentioned we could have spliced in shots of the monster when Brian first sees him. This is actually something we had tried playing around with, but just couldn't get it to flow well or decide on the best order of the splicing. The credits were received well! A few saying that they still felt like part of the experience of the film, they weren't thrown away and used in the best way! I am so happy about this as I really pushed for dramatic credits and I knew we had a lot of spare footage that could be used, especially the CU of the monsters back. If we do rework the film, I think I'll go back and make sure the text all comes in at the right time, staying on the screen for equal time too.

So, moving onto cinematography. Most people mentioned this was used well to help tell the story and we knew what to focus on! We hadn't shown much of the scientist to help make him mysterious and sinister, making sure the audience couldn't find comfort in seeing his whole face. I also feel this will be more effective for people who don't know what Sam looks like! In terms of lighting, David B had liked the use of the handheld light source, which was always something Cal had wanted in the film, so I'm glad we achieved his visions. Annoyingly, you can see the LED in the computer screen, and it moves around in each shot, there's not much we can do about this and masking would be very hard and maybe not even possible? But I don't think it's too distracting, David has a good eye for these things! He also liked the focus pull on the CU of the scientist talking into the mic, I shot this one so thank you!!!

I've known the whole project that Alex was going to do great things with the sound, he had such bold visions and ideas he wanted to try, and for someone who hasn't done much sound he did wonderfully, and I know he did Cal proud! Everyone was impressed in the crit, especially Zoe, the sound bossman. The notes I have are little things that could have pushed the film further. It wasn't clear that there were people in the room with the scientist until the end, so additional mumbling sounds or breathing when in this room would have helped get this across. John had mentioned that the crying could have had a slower build, which I can see, I think it would be hard as Brian mentions the crying rather early and we need that build up of the atmosphere in the stairwell first. Zoe found the bubbling sound in the scientist rom a bit distracting, I think Alex was going for a laboratory kinda vibe, but the bubbles just didn't work as well. Lastly, Juliet had said more reverb could have been used on the CU of Brians footsteps, I personally know little about sound and do not know what this means, but I'm sure Alex has noted this.

Overall, I loved working on this project and am over the moon with how well it turned out. We all worked hard in our roles and helped each other out as much as we could. PROUD OF YOU ALL XXX

Other Films

I wanted to talk a little about all the other films, they were all incredible, a great range of films and genres. I feel we have all gained a lot of creative confidence this semester.

In Dirty Work, I liked the dialogue and thought your continuity was great! I loved the red light in the bathroom too, I felt this was a good choice as it added a little pop to the simple cinematography.

Cherry was great, the script was fab and I loved the characters and their chemistry! Hints of comedy peeped through and it fit the film well :) I know you ran into sound difficulties but I don't think it affected the film badly!

Oh my, Catacombs of the Lost was just brilliant. The score was actually insane (Orla you did wonderfully) and complimented the cinematography. I feel with a little more time this could have done even more, I feel shitty as we just took the time we weren't allowed and didn't follow the brief, but I hope you guys expand this project!

Sceptic was so wonderful to watch, I hadn't realised you'd changed the original idea and was taken aback, but in all the best ways! Alex, your whip pans were fantastic, great camera operator! I thought the whole project was great and that last line really made me giggle.

Eva! Your little sci-fi baby was so amazing! Pure Electric really achieved what it was trying to, the messages all came through for me. It's a shame about the sound but I reckon if you stick some cool futuristic subtitles in there it will be fine. It was such an ambitious project but you all pulled it off and I am so pleased you did!

After seeing all the work and laughs that went into Road to Nowhere I feel unable to say anything but good things. This AMBIGUOUS project was so fun to work on and you all work so well together. Despite being faced with problems literally every step of the way you pulled through. I enjoyed the dialogue and your cut from night to day worked perfectly, also your actors were so great and cool and amazing. I think you should work on this more and turn it into something bigger. WELL DONE!

I loved Dreamer! It was so funny and had the whole class laughing. I know you also had trouble with the process but it turned out amazing! The editing was perfect, really added to the comedy and each section (fantasy and reality kinda?) was edited in different ways that fit each part best. Also the cut around the lamppost, amazing! I also really liked the sound design, the fantastical music for the shakespearean love montage really worked. I thoroughly loved this film and it really stood out for me.

Anyways, I loved this module and have had the best time working with my group and other groups. Everyone worked so hard and experienced worrying high levels of stress, but that's showbiz baby. Hope you all have a holly jolly Christmas :) <3

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