Welcome To The Shitshow...
welcome in 🤯 my name is taylor, but you can call me tay if you want!
facts about me!
i love horror and gore, so please be prepared for that whilst looking at my blog
i'm a cis female, my pronouns are she/her
i'm a metalhead and a punk 🤘
my favorite colors are red and black
i'm bisexual 😱
I AM A MINOR!!
If that makes you uncomfortable, no need to follow or interact. This also means: creepy old men, FUCK OFF.
DNI if...
you're homophobic
you're transphobic
you're a nazi
you're racist
you're a pedophile
you're a p0rn blog
you're a terf
you're a z00ph1le
stay away from me and my blog if you are any of these things.
Favorite Bands/Artists
45 grave, 55gore, 6arelyhuman, abscess, acid, acid bath, alex g, alice in chains, anthrax, apati, artillery, autopsy, a7x, ayesha erotica, babes in toyland, bathory, bauhaus, beherit, bethlehem, bikini kill, billy joel, bio-cancer, black flag, black sabbath, blod besvimelse, bodily stew, bolt thrower, bon jovi, bones, bratmobile, cannabis corpse, cannibal corpse, carnivore, car seat headrest, christian death, cigarettes after sex, corneus, the cramps, crass, crystal castles, the cure, cursed pumpkin, dark angel, darkened nocturn slaughtercult, darkthrone, david bowie, dead kennedys, death, deftones, deicide, destruction, doom, the doors, d.r.i., duster, dystopia, ecpatia, the electric hellfire club, entombed, erotic gore cunt, ethel cain, evanescence, exhumed, exodus, fiona apple, fluids, forgotten ruin, forgotten tomb, ghost, ghoul, gorepot, grave, green day, grausemkeit, haggus, happy days, have a nice life, hellhammer, him, hole, hulder, hypothermia, immortal, insane clown posse, iron maiden, jack off jill, joan jett, johnny cash, joy division, këkht arähk, kittie, kmfdm, korn, kreator, kvävning, lana del rey, last days of humanity, leviathan, lifelover, mäleficentt, mayhem, mazzy star, megadeth, melanie martinez, mercyful fate, metallica, mindless self indulgence (fuck jimmy!), ministry, misfits, mitski, morbid, morbid angel, mortician, mortuary drape, mötley crüe, municipal waste, murderdolls, mxmxm, my bloody valentine, my chemical romance, nails, napalm death, nausea, nicole dollanganger, nine inch nails, nirvana, nocturnal depression, nuclear assault, obituary, the offspring, opiated devilsperm, overkill, party cannon, pierce the veil, pink floyd, pisdati bylat, possessed, psychonaut 4, queen, putrid stu, radiohead, rammstein, rob zombie, the runaways, salvia palth, sarcófago, scary bitches, sebum excess production, shining, sign crushes motorist, sisters of mercy, skag, skinny puppy, slayer, sleeping with sirens, slipknot, slowdive, the smashing pumpkins, the smiths, sodom, s.o.d., sorry..., specimen, spectral decay, subhumans, suicidal-idol, suicidal tendencies, system of a down, tankard, tenebris, toxic holocaust, tu carne, tv girl, vampirska, venom, watain, weedeater, whiplash, white zombie, xasthur, and many more!
Favorite Films/TV Shows
orphan, a nightmare on elm street, kill bill vol. 1, death proof, i tonya, scarface, willy wonka and the chocolate factory, the dark knight, billy madison, terrifier, terrifier 2, spider-man (2002), meet the parents, the cable guy, dumb and dumber, the evil dead, evil dead II, studio 666, house of 1000 corpses, morbius, the nightmare before christmas, school of rock, hannibal, the silence of the lambs, speak, pulp fiction, walk the line, the emperor's new groove, kronk's new groove, ratatouille, barbie, joker, beetlejuice, happy gilmore, wayne's world, beauty and the beast, the princess and the frog, scream, black swan, metal lords, x, pearl, howl's moving castle, christine, mulan (animated!), beavis and butt-head do america, girl interrupted, zoolander, anger management, e.t., the wizard of oz, doctor strange, mr. deeds, twilight, edward scissorhands, coraline, the virgin suicides, a goofy movie, an extremely goofy movie, the great outdoors, superbad, monster house, liar liar, the conjuring, signs, annabelle, annabelle: creation, napoleon dynamite, mean girls, the truman show, the simpons movie, jennifer's body, the menu, clueless, dracula (1931), heathers, american psycho, the breakfast club, thirteen, the craft, disturbing behavior, the shining, hell's kitchen, kitchen nightmares, the simpsons, gilmore girls, death note, beavis and butt-head, wandavision, a series of unfortunate events, brooklyn nine-nine, metalocalypse, hotel hell
That's All! Have A Good Rest Of Your Day/Night. Take Care Of Yourselves!
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100+ Years of Horror
This is not a definitive list. These are just the films I believe every Horror fan should see at least once. I’ve excluded any sequels that I didn’t feel needed including. I hope you enjoy.
For @mechamag
1922 – Nosferatu
1925 – The Phantom of the Opera
1927 – The Cat and the Canary
1931 – Dracula, Frankenstein
1932 – Freaks
1933 – The Invisible Man
1934 – The Black Cat
1935 – The Bride of Frankenstein
1939 – The Cat and the Canary
1941 – The Black Cat, The Wolfman
1942 – Cat People
1945 - Dead of Night
1953 – House of Wax
1954 – Creature from the Black Lagoon
1955 – Night of the Hunter, Les Diaboliques
1956 – Invasion of the Body Snatchers, The Bad Seed
1958 – The Blob, Macabre, The Fly
1959 – House on Haunted Hill, The Tingler, The Killer Shrews
1960 – 13 Ghosts , Black Sunday, Eyes without a face, Peeping Tom, Psycho, Village of the Damned
1961 – The Pit and the Pendulum
1962 – What ever happened To Baby Jane?
1963 – The Birds, Black Sabbath, The Haunting
1965 – Repulsion
1966 – Island of Terror
1967 – Wait until Dark
1968 – Night of the Living Dead, Rosemary’s Baby, Spider Baby
1970 – Mark of the Devil, The Bird with the Crystal Plumage
1971 – The Cat O’ Nine Tails, Let’s scare Jessica to Death, What’s the matter with Helen? A Bay of Blood, Play Misty for Me
1972 – Ben, Children shouldn’t play with dead things, Deathdream, Don’t torture a Duckling, The last house on the left, Night of the Lepus, What have you done to Solange?
1973 – The Crazies, The Exorcist, The Legend of Hell House, Sisters, The Wicker Man, Don’t look now
1974 – Black Christmas, Deranged, It’s Alive, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Vampyres
1975 – Shivers, Trilogy of Terror, Jaws, Deep Red, The Stepford Wives
1976 – Alice Sweet Alice, Burnt Offerings, Carrie, Eaten Alive, The Omen, Squirm, To the devil a daughter, The town that dreaded sundown, The Tenant
1977 – Audrey Rose, Day of the Animals, Demon Seed, Eraserhead, Exorcist 2: The Heretic, The Hills have Eyes, Rabid, The Sentinel, Shock, Suspiria
1978 – Damien: Omen 2, Dawn of the Dead, Halloween, I Spit on your Grave, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Jaws 2, The Legacy, Magic, Martin, Piranha
1979 – Alien, The Amityville Horror, The Brood, Phantasm, Prophecy, Tourist Trap, When a Stranger Calls, Zombi2, Nosferatu the Vampyre, Salem’s Lot
1980 – Alligator, Altered States, The Changeling, City of the Living Dead, Fade to Black, The Fog, Friday the 13th, Hell of the Living Dead, The House on the Edge of the Park, Humanoids form the Deep, Inferno, Maniac, Motel Hell, Prom Night, The Shining
1981 – An American Werewolf in London, The Beyond, The Black Cat, The Burning, Dead and Buried, The Entity, The Evil Dead, Friday the 13th Part 2, The Funhouse, Galaxy of Terror, Halloween 2, Happy Birthday to Me, Hell Night, The House by the Cemetery, The Howling, My Bloody Valentine, Omen 3: The Final Conflict, The Pit, Possession, The Prowler, Wolfen, Scanners, Blow Out, Ghost Story
1982 – Alone in the Dark, Basket Case, The Beast Within, Cat People, Creepshow, Friday the 13th Part 3, Halloween 3: Season of the Witch, Madman, Pieces, Poltergeist, Q: The Winged Serpent, Tenebrae, The Thing, Visiting Hours
1983 – A Blade in the Dark, Christine, Cujo, Curtains, The Deadly Spawn, Eyes of Fire, The House on Sorority Row, The Hunger, Mortuary, Nightmares, Sleepaway Camp, Videodrome, The Dead Zone, Twilight Zone: The Movie
1984 – C.H.U.D., Children of the Corn, The Company of Wolves, Gremlins, Night of the Comet, A Nightmare on Elm Street, Razorback, Silent Night Deadly Night, Firestarter, Starman, Ghostbusters
1985 – Cat’s Eye, Day of the Dead, Demons, Fright Night, Ghoulies, LifeForce, Phenomena, Re-Animator, The Return of the Living Dead, Silver Bullet, The Stuff, Cut and Run, The New Kids
1986 – Aliens, April Fools Day, Chopping Mall, Critters, Deadly Friend, The Fly, From Beyond, Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer, The Hitcher, House, Invaders from Mars, Little Shop of Horrors, Maximum Overdrive, Monster Dog, Night of the Creeps, Poltergeist 2: The Other Side, Rawhead Rex, Terrorvision, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2, Trick or Treat, Troll, Vamp, The Wraith
1987 – Angel Heart, Bad Taste, Creepshow 2, Dolls, Evil Dead 2, The Gate, Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night 2, Hellraiser, The Hidden, House 2: The Second Story, The Outing, The Lost Boys, The Monster Squad, Near Dark, A Nightmare on Elm Street 3: Dream Warriors, Opera, Prince of Darkness, Predator, Stage Fright, The Stepfather, Street Trash, The Witches of Eastwick, Lady Beware, Fatal Attraction
1988 – Bad Dreams, The Blob, Child's Play, Dead Heat, Elvira Mistress of the Dark, Fright Night Part 2, Hellbound: Hellraiser 2, Killer Klowns from Outer Space, The Lair of the White Worm, Maniac Cop, Night of the Demons, Phantasm 2, Pin, Prison, Pumpkinhead, Return of the Living Dead Part 2, The Serpent and the Rainbow, Uninvited, Watchers, Waxwork, They Live
1989 – 976-Evil, The Church, Grim Prairie Tales, The Horror Show, Intruder, Leviathan, Night Life, Pet Sematary, Shocker, Society, Warlock, Dead Calm, The Forgotten One, DeepStar Six
1990 – Braindead, Bride of Re-Animator, Child’s Play 2, The Exorcist 3, Frankenhooker, Graveyard Shift, The Guardian, Hardware, IT, Jacob’s Ladder, Misery, Night of the Living Dead, Nightbreed, Predator 2, The Reflecting Skin, Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat, Tales from the Darkside: The Movie, Tremors, Two Evil Eyes, Arachnophobia
1991 – Body Parts, Cape Fear, The People under the Stairs, The Pit and the Pendulum, Popcorn, Scanners 2: The New Order, The Silence of the Lambs, Sometimes they Come Back
1992 – Army of Darkness, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Candyman, Demonic Toys, Dolly Dearest, Bram Stoker’s Dracula, Innocent Blood, Sleepwalkers, Spilt Second, Man Bites Dog
1993 – Body Bags, Carnosaur, Cronos, The Dark Half, Leprechaun, Return of the Living Dead 3, Trauma, Kalifornia, Man’s Best Friend
1994 – Brainscan, Cemetery Man, The Crow, Death Machine, Hellbound, In The Mouth of Madness, Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein, The Stand, Wes Cravens New Nightmare, Wolf, Interview with the Vampire
1995 – Castle Freak, Demon Knight, Lord of Illusions, The Mangler, Mosquito, The Prophecy, Species, Village of the Damned, Screamers, Dolores Claiborne
1996 – Bad Moon, The Craft, The Frighteners, From Dusk till Dawn, Jack Frost, Scream, Tremors 2: Aftershocks, Mary Reilly
1997 – An American Werewolf in Paris, Anaconda, Campfire Tales, Cube, The Devils’ Advocate, Event Horizon, I know what you did last Summer, Mimic, The Night Flier, Nightwatch, The Relic, Quicksilver Highway, The Ugly, Wishmaster, Kiss the Girls, Se7en, Perfect Blue
1998 – Blade, Deep Rising, The Faculty, Ringu, Strangeland, Urban Legend, Vampires, Sphere
1999 – Audition, The Blair Witch Project, Deep Blue Sea, The Haunting, House on Haunted Hill, Lake Placid, The Mummy, Ravenous, Sleepy Hollow, Stigmata, Virus, The Sixth Sense, Idle Hands
2000 – American Psycho, Bless the Child, Blood: The Last Vampire, Cherry Falls, Final Destination, Ginger Snaps, Hollow Man, Ju-On, Pitch Black, Python, Versus, What Lies Beneath, The Gift, The Cell, Shadow of the Vampire
2001 – The Attic Expeditions, Brotherhood of the Wolf, Dagon, Jeepers Creepers, Mulholland Drive, The Others, Session 9, Thir13en Ghosts, The Devil’s Backbone, Frailty, From Hell, Hannibal
2002 – 28 Days Later, Blade 2, Bubba Ho-Tep, Cabin Fever, Dog Soldiers, Eight Legged Freaks, Ghost Ship, May, Queen of the Damned, Resident Evil, The Ring, They, The Mothman Prophecies, Red Dragon
2003 – Darkness Falls, Dream Catcher, Final Destination 2, Freddy Vs. Jason, Haute Tension, House of 1000 Corpses, A Tale of Two Sisters, Undead, Underwold, Willard, Wrong Turn
2004 – Alien Vs Predator, Club Dread, Dawn of the Dead, Dead & Breakfast, Exorcist: The Beginning, Ginger Snaps 2: Unleashed, Godsend, Saw, Shaun of the Dead, The Village, Taking Lives, The Forgotten, Enduring Love
2005 – 2001 Maniacs, The Amityville Horror, Constantine, Dark Water, The Descent, The Devils’ Rejects, The Exorcism of Emily Rose, Land of the Dead, Wolf Creek, Hard Candy
2006 – Abominable, All the boys love Many Lane, Black Sheep, Fido, Final Destination 3, Hatchet, The Hills have Eyes, Slither, The Woods, The Host, Silent Hill, The Tripper, Wild Country
2007 – 28 Weeks Later, 30 Days of Night, 1408, Grindhouse, I am Legend, The Mist, My Name is Bruce, Nature of the Beast, Paranormal Activity, Primeval, REC, Skinwalkers, Teeth, Trick r’ Treat, An American Crime, Rogue, Funny Games
2008 – Book of Blood, Cloverfield, Deadgirl, Diary of the Dead, Let the right one in, The Midnight Meat Train, Mirrors, Quarantine, The Ruins, Splinter, The Strangers, Eden Lake, Outlander
2009 – Case 39, Grace, The Haunting in Connecticut, Heartless, The House of the Devil, Jennifer’s Body, The Loved Ones, Orphan, Pandorum, Splice, Triangle, Zombieland, Carriers, Dread
2010 – Black Swan, The Crazies, Exorcismus, Frozen, Insidious, The Last Exorcism, Let me in, Primal, Tucker & Dale Vs Evil, The Wolfman, Troll Hunter, Devil
2011 – The Awakening, Don’t be afraid of the Dark, The Innkeepers, Livid, The Thing, The Woman, The Rite
2012 – American Mary, Bait, The Cabin in the Woods, The Devil Inside, The Possession, Prometheus, Sinister, Byzantium, Compliance
2013 – The Conjuring, Evil Dead, Jug Face, Mama, Under the Skin, Only Lovers Left Alive, Warm Bodies, Horns, Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters, Contracted, Stoker
2014 – Annabelle, As Above So Below, The Babadook, Deliver us from Evil, A Girl walk home alone at Night, Life after Beth, Starry Eyes, Tusk, It Follows, Goodnight Mommy, The Voices, Digging up the Marrow, When Animals Dream, Gone Girl ,The Remaining, Late Phases, Cub
2015 – Crimson Peak, Krampus, The Lazarus Effect, Maggie, The Visit, The Witch, Bone Tomahawk, Green Room, Regression, The Devil’s Candy, The Lure
2016 – The Autopsy of Jane Doe, The Belko Experiment, The Boy, The Conjuring 2, Don’t Breathe, The Eyes of my Mother, Split, The Forest, The Love Witch, The Neon Demon, Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, Raw, Train to Busan, The Void, What We Become, 10 Cloverfield Lane, A Cure for Wellness, The Shallows, Pet, Hounds of Love
2017 – IT, Get Out, Mother!, The Killing of a Sacred Deer, The Ritual, Thelma, Veronica, It comes at Night, Life, Gerald’s Game, Revenge, 1922
2018 – Annihilation, Halloween, Hereditary, Mandy, Mom and Dad, The Nun, Overlord, Possum, A Quiet Place, Suspiria, The House that Jack Built, Bird Box, Apostle, The Meg
2019 – Brightburn, IT Chapter 2, Midsommar, Ready or Not, Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark, Us, I am Mother, Crawl, The Dead Don’t Die, Extremely Wicked Shockingly Evil and Vile, Glass
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Snow drifts and Starbucks
Snow has a way of captivating the human imagination. It falls slowly, or quickly, in flurries, and in torrents wiping away everything underneath it in a clean blank sheet. I empathize with snowflakes- no not because I’m a millennial- because of its serenity. It comes down from what must, to the snowflake, seem to be chaos. It is brought into this world from water, condensed, frozen, and cast away from the womb of the snow cloud to drift alone through the sky. If I were a snowflake I would be terrified of the lonely fall down and I would be overjoyed upon the realization that waiting for me on the ground were a million others just like me.
From the sightlines of a coffee shop the world seems a strange, busy, and almost predictable place- but from experience I can tell you that nothing is ever truly what it seems. It was Christmas eve of 2015 and I was enjoying a sight of snowdrifts from the drive thru window that I was working at. The occasional customer would drop in, order their favorite coffee, wish me a “Merry Christmas!” and go on their way leaving me with a strange pit in my stomach.
My boss asked me what my plans were for Christmas and my only thought was “Try not to fall into an existential depression” but I told him I had no plans. There was no family for me to celebrate with, my few friends were out of town, and I was unsure as to what to say. I listened from the sidelines as people excitedly talked of presents and food, hopes, family, the typical Christmas bit. The young man in a Black Sabbath shirt wanted a new video game, his sister wanted an IPhone, and I am almost certain their mother simply wanted a vacation. I just wanted to make their coffee and end the conversation.
The snow had subsided by the time our store had closed, the floors had been swept, the dishes cleaned, and we left for the night. “Merry Christmas!” my boss cried to me once again. I mumbled a vague reply that might have been somewhere between “You too!” and “Summer is my favorite season, holidays are depressing, and I am going back to an empty house tonight”. I turned on my car and waited for it to heat up, placed a bag in my backseat that was filled with otherwise wasted pastries, and turned on my music. I was not sad, to me it was just another day, but I was aware of my purposeful detachment to the merriment around me. If I remained aloof I could not be reminded that there might be something I was actually missing. You know the saying “It’s not about what you have, it’s about your attitude!” and all that jazz.
My windows defrost, my coffee is still warm, my music is playing, and I leave the parking lot contently. Christmas Eve in the south means that nobody is outside- its family first and at night time you are not going to leave your family. So the roads were blissfully empty, the snow had been cleared from the roads mostly, and it seemed very quiet. It was 10 PM by the time I was almost home and I decided to pull into a 7/11 gas station and purchase a pack of cigarettes. I had heard a woman say once that cigarettes were the only thing that had never left her- I am inclined to believe her. I stepped back out into the an almost empty street and stared at a strange shadow which I quickly realized was a person. He had long unkempt hair, dirty skin, and his face was shoved into the backpack to stifle the sounds of his crying.
I sat down next to the man, opened the pack of cigarettes, lit one, waited a few seconds, and then asked “Want a cigarette? It’s a bit cold out.” Choosing not to mention that he seemed like he could use it. The man’s sobbing came to a stop- which I was incredibly thankful for because I hate the way humans sound when they cry. He smoked his entire cigarette before saying a word.
“You’re the first person to see me all day. Almost Christmas and not a single person even notices me. Can’t get a hold of my daughter in months, no phone to call her with, probably won’t even talk to me anyways, but it’s almost Christmas.” The man unloaded on me with a final breath of smoke.
My mind flashed vaguely back to a speech from Neil Gaimans American Gods in which a certain god talks of how the week before Christmas is normally pretty empty in a mortuary. People tend to wait until after Christmas to die- just in case. I took a deep breath and asked “What’s your name?”
“Mel.” The man replied, combing his hands through his hair and shivering.
“Anything I can do for ya?” I asked, not quite sure what I meant but willing to go along with whatever happened.
The man laughed and said “Not unless you feel like going on down to my daughter’s house. Lives forty minutes’ drive away- ain’t seen me since I been sober. Wish I wasn’t sober.”
I thought about it for what might have been two seconds before saying “Yeah sure why not. Hop in the car.”
Mel looked at me questioningly as I walked towards the car, unlocked the side door, turned on the heat, and waited. He began to scramble together all of his items which consisted of one tear stained backpack, three oversized jackets, two plastic bags of various items, and one white lighter- and placed them in the back of my car. He held his hands over the heat for a minute as he mumbled out his thanks. I asked him where his daughter lived and he gave me the address “Gotta memory for these things. People you care about. Numbers and things, you know?” He mumbled out.
We began to talk on the drive down south, forty-five minutes south to be exact, and as he talked he asked about God. I told him that I believe in my heart that fundamentally if there is a being called God then we came from it- and are a part of it- and have never left it. If our identity is anything it must be that which we are made of- whether its stardust or consciousness. Mel nodded his head and said “On the streets we’re all the same, but I think they call people like you Angels they do. Christmas miracle.”
Ignoring what I assumed was a compliment I stared out at the snow piling on the side of the road and smiled- knowing how everyone likes to think of snowflakes as unique. We were closing in on Mel’s daughter’s apartments, Mel was talking about Nam, and I was still thinking about snow. I pulled in through the front gates of the complex, followed Mel’s mumbled instructions, and parked. Mel stared blankly out from my window before turning to me and asking “Do you think she’ll be happy to see me?”
While the inner monologue of my mind was screaming “Fuck me dude, how am I supposed to know?” I just told him what I knew he wanted to hear. A little bit of assurance “Of course! You’re her father!” a little bit of consolation “Besides you’re sober now!” and a pinch of Christmas cheer “Besides, what better of a gift could she receive than family?”. Though, let’s be honest, sometimes the last thing you want to see is family and I was nowhere near as positive of what I was saying as I led him to believe.
He led me to the door of her apartment and he knocked. We waited. Mel knocked again. We waited, he tapped his feet. He knocked, we waited. Mel sat down on the cold ground and began to cry. Panicking at the sight of raw human emotion I quickly grabbed my phone and asked “What’s her number??”.
After a minute or so his breathing calmed and he told me her number. We called- no one picked up. Mel took a deep breath and we called again- we had reached the voicemail box of….
All around us were shimmering multicolored lights- dangling, draped, and glimmering in the night. The snow had begun to fall again and the air was getting colder. Mel began to tell me about how you could survive a cold night if you stayed in a dumpster- it was warm, enclosed, better than nothing, and certainly better than Nam. I smoked a cigarette to keep myself from wondering how I arrive in these situations.
We had sat in the cold, silent, night for almost an hour as hope of his daughter having a Christmas reunion were fading. It was a little past midnight and it was officially Christmas though neither of us mentioned it. Mel told me about how beautiful his daughter was, how smart she was, how great of a person was and I thought of the fact that parents normally see their children through a rather unique perspective. Smoke still coiled out from my lungs, a testament to my remaining willpower as it also burned down to the core. I began to hope I had not driven this man out to the middle of nowhere just so that he could receive that final blow that sent him over the edge. I mean, shit, he had survived Nam but that might have been easier for him than spending Christmas alone in a dumpster.
My phone rang and a panicked female voice answered it and asked “Hello? Mel! Father? I haven’t heard from you in months! Dad?”
I awkwardly handed the phone over to Mel who began to cry and explain the situation, as he told her about how the snow hurt, as he explained that people don’t see you when you live on the street. She would be right home she told him- he had Grandkids to see, and of course he was welcome to stay with her. I began to think that maybe he had been right about his kid, she seemed kind.
I never met his daughter, and I never replied to the text messaged “Thank you!” or voicemails she left. I left Mel with the bag of pastries I had brought from work, shook his hand, and drove away. I floated my way home, head wrapped in cold clouds, when my phone rang. I put it on speaker and heard my friend say “Merry Christmas!! Of course, you’re still up. I need some help!” I don’t even remember what it was that she needed but I think it had to do with a laptop. She needed a chord or something to play a movie, can’t remember now. I can remember pulling into her driveway, I remember handing her the chord, and I remember being thankful that regardless of what my intentions for Christmas had been this is where I ended up. She did not seem too surprised when I told her what I had been doing, said it seemed like something I would pull. So, I found myself having floated a long way from where I had been at the start of my journey home that night watching snowfall from the drive thru window. I’m still not a fan of the cold, a bit too thin for that, but now when I think of snowflakes falling on their lonesome journeys I do not think of the freeze into being or the fall into loneliness- I think of the company of those waiting to catch me and I think of the beauty of melting back into the earth with those around me.
-AnonymousAbraxas
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