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lovethejoyfuljourney · 6 years

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The Manifesto: 28 to 29

year 28 was the hardest, but most rewarding year of my life.

it was hard because i didn’t set boundaries.

i fell in the gray

& then flopped into darkness.

i lost a lot of wisdom here,

right before i lost a lot more than that.

thank God it was all temporary.

and all a part of His design.

though it was hard, 28 was rewarding because it was a season of growth, of building trust and of resting in God’s provision for me to step out and do a lot of things in faith- including making my journey from darkness back to light, very public.

the season for me, at 28, was rest.

i don’t think i lost any friends, though i’ve learned that we’re all in different seasons.

some relationships ebb and some flow during different seasons of life.

one relationship that has stayed constant (though dynamic and supportive) is the one i have with God.

i have learned that what you put in (the amount of heart, soul, discipline and commitment), will multiply blessings out.

through my recognition of this, i’ve gained new friends.

the lifelong kind.

the kind that invest their energy into me, like i’ve done for others, only to be disappointed in the outcome.

the kind that chase God and encourage me to do the same.

the ones that challenge me and pray for me.

the ones who uplift me when i’m too stubborn to see that i need uplifting.

the ones who are patient with me- long enough for me to learn on my own and meet them where they are, once i get there too.

these friends (more than those pictured, and all of you) are blessings to me.

you are seeds of joy in my life- regardless of what season you were planted.

thank you for investing in me.

digging in and finding root

over the past couple of months, i’ve continued to step up, dig in, and do it.

i got tired quick.

as many of you recognize, i’ve always been on the go, 1000MPH.

at 28, though, i realized that it’s okay not to be.

it’s okay to recognize the need for rest.

to cut off.

to disconnect.

mine and nick’s relationship was birthed with annual international trips across the world and various other domestic trips sprinkled in.

we told ourselves we’d rather invest in experiences than material things.

with the hustle and bustle of both of our work lives (yes- I just compartmentalized, though I’m not a huge fan of this because I LOVE what I do), 28 became the season with none of that for the two of us.

you see, during year 27, i invested all of my energy into anything and everything beyond our relationship.

leaving me at 28 with no time or energy to invest into travel with him.

so, to ring in 29, nick and i took our first shared trip in over a year and a half.

we used our miles and points to go see a place we’d never seen and do things we’d never done.

beyond the real reason why houston was our destination of choice (our spitball landed there on a map), is the fact that i was reminded by re-reading our vows that life was passing by too quickly…

“…i choose you. to travel to the ends of this earth and smile so wide it hurts with. to challenge, support, inspire and cherish…to share every moment of this life with; for together and now we are richer and we are healthy, but if one day that changes, i’d still choose you to do it with.”

this trip offered a new opportunity to pause + reflect.

27 represented me not choosing nick.

28 meant choosing God first, then nick.

and, just as God’s timing works,

29 will be rooted in God first, nick second...and when time and motivation allows, connecting with people to LOVEbigger, third...and probably some other cool stuff :)

ROI

on our flight home, i recognized that the love i give to others can, in no way, be expected in return. not because the people i love can’t love back, but because the WAY they love is not the same way that i love.

i think this observation of my feelings stems from the growth i’ve had over the past year…it became apparent in discerning who called, texted, posted and sent cards for my birthday- my initial reaction was that HOW you celebrated with me also meant this was HOW MUCH you loved me.

i know that’s not true though, because i know that LOTS of you love me!

you have lives and celebrations (praise God!) and struggles you deal with too.

the love you have for me is not limited because you forgot to share and celebrate with me. i've realized that it’s simply a matter of me not being high-enough on the priority list for you…and the good news is, that’s okay!

…because i am God’s priority...and so are you.

and now, at 29, this confidence in God overflows enough to love without boundaries and not expect anything in return…

it took 28 years to get it, but thank God i did!

...and i hope you have and/or will one day too.

thanks to those of you who’ve taught me how. <3

so- here’s to twenty-nine...and 29 pieces to a new vision and mission for my life...

...because the ROI isn’t the return i gain for my investment, but the return He gains.

my manifesto for year 29

1) LOVE the LORD your God with all of your heart, mind, soul and strength…and always LOVE what you love without boundaries or limitations…because there is a reason you LOVE what you LOVE so much.

2) dreamBIG. the dreams for developing your life have always been big. they’ve also always been possible. don’t stop dreaming…and don’t stop chasing them. dig in and dream on!

3) LOVEbigger…than your doubts, fears and feelings…and the return on investment.

4) “WHATEVER you do (if it’s work, play, relaxing, leading or loving), do it with ALL your heart, as though you are doing it for the Lord, not men.” –Colossians 3:23

5) set & stick to boundaries so you can do everything you choose to do with ALL of you. don’t fall in the gray zone. stay focused.

6) …but identify which kinds of bright shiny objects (or distractions) set your soul on fire. for these “squirrels,” let your mind and heart wander because it is these bright shiny objects that could be your real calling.

7) because of your faith, be the David against Goliath…remember that all things are possible.

8) SMILE and say YAY a lot. it brings YOU joy, and sometimes it also brings others the same joy. for those whom it doesn’t work for, love them through it and keep saying YAY!

9) be graceful with your words, actions and reactions. you’ve come a long way in this arena- no need to stop now!

10) rest. it’s okay. :)

Matthew 11:28 "come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”

11) if you want it, ask for it. if not, don’t settle.

12) remember, one foot before the other. baby steps lead to balance.

13) it starts with love and ends with self-control.

14) read. it makes you learn and connect with people in a way that you can’t, otherwise.

15) write. this, too, is a platform for you to connect with people who you may not otherwise connect with.

16) be courageous.

17) pause before you speak and act.

18) be observant. notice when there are opportunities to LOVEbigger...and if they aren’t apparent, create them.

19) remember that you are undefined...but also that you live with a disease that, if uncontrolled, could kill you. don’t take your sweet life for granted.

20) hug people. you know that people up north don’t necessarily like it. do it anyway- science shows it releases endorphins :)

21) dance like nobody’s watching. and if they are, invite them to join.

22) life’s too short to be too serious. laugh lots.

23) lead by example. practice what you preach. <3

24) get in the saltwater at least once a week. it enlightens your spirit and reminds you of blessings.

25) “give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.” <-- remember this when you lead others. teach them how.

26) never give up hope in anything.

27) whenever you have doubts, be reminded that miracles exist. you are proof.

28) be ALL you. it’s beautiful.

29) stand firm + shine on.

+1 to grow on...

30) eat cake.

also:

please note that the promise of 29 includes some good news, still in development... but i can feel it in my bones + i’m trusting the BIG MAN on this one!

the changes in the pipeline are pretty radical.

so stoked to share in them with all of you!!!

...to each of you- thank you for being a part of my journey. <3

#dreambig #lovebigger #joyfuljourney #cake #happybirthday #growth #twentynine #travel #love #business #workhardplayhard

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silvershears · 7 years

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(table of contents)

part three ::

She grabbed the nearest traveler veering off toward the Rootover pass. "Where's the nearest entrance to the lowways?"

"The what ways?"

"The paths beneath the ground." She gestured. "You know, carved by the ancient builders?"

The teen evaluated her, took in her ragged leather coat, the grease smeared through her hair that left it sticking up at wild angles, the sea brine crusting her boots. "Don't know where you've been, northwoman, but there's only the Roc shelters underground." They pulled free from her grip without another word but with plenty more looks.

She stuck out her tongue. "Never seen a sea-scourge before?"

Another man passed, hauling a cart behind him laden with two goats and six baskets filled with clinking glass bottles. "Not one from the north, we haven't."

Cairn stamped her foot. "Now look here--"

"Watch it, lady," he said, double-stepping the cart from her reach. "No trouble here, alright? We're late enough as it is. There's no time for a good fist fight if we want to make the wayhouse before the lights go on and the Rocs come thumping around. Nobody wants that. Where are you headed?"

"The lowways, like I said."

"Well. I don't know about any of those, but if it's anywhere near Rootover, you better come with us. Hop in the cart and we'll all get to the wayhouse together. I'll fight you there till your eyes turn black and we break a few tables."

"I'd rather not," she muttered, crossing her arms. "I can get there on my own."

"As you say, northwoman, as you say." He trundled off without another glance.

She'd have taken him, she had no doubt, but a dark anger beat in her stomach and glazed her eyes. Her pride buoyed her: She'd get there on her own, as she always had. The walk cleared her head, bringing with it a sharp awareness of how dark the world sank in such a short time. A tall person who'd been following the same track for most of the day pulled a small, red-glass miner's lantern from their pack and lit the candle inside, quickening their pace as a faint glow washed the clouds above.

Cairn didn't need to glance back at the towers to know they'd lit like beacons: one vivid blue and the other vibrant orange. From base to tip, streaks of light followed the edges of the glass all the way up and shot away into the sky overhead where the clouds caught it and dispersed it out over their heads. The folk on the road shuffled faster, some breaking into jogs and elbowing others from their way. If the ancient relics of the builders dotting the landscape, harboring unknown powers, definitely capable of destroying a person, and maybe even the whole world didn't put fear into a person's dreams, the nighttime would. Cairn kept her eyes trained on the rocky moorlands spreading out to either side of the highway. On the edges of hearing beat the steady heartbeat of the night: thump, thump, thump, thump. A hulking mass moved in the gloom, a shape darker than the rest, moving parallel to the road. It paused, the sounds of its steps echoing off the rocks. Cairn beat at the shoulder of the tall person. "Put out that light," she hissed. "It'll see us."

The red glow of the lamp extinguished immediately, but the Roc had already changed its direction. The churning of gears and the scrape of metal over metal as it rushed toward them filled the air. Cairn dropped off the road on the other side, sprinting as fast as she could through the unpredictable terrain. Huge boulders loomed before her, and outcroppings of rock tripped her more than once. The grass of the area grew unfortunately short and sharp. Other runners huffed and panted, and once she fell over the legs of someone who lay groaning behind a rock, trying to catch their breath.

She smacked their knee as she got her feet under her again. "If you're going to sit there, be silent. It'll snatch you up if you go on moaning like that." Cairn sprinted away, dodging left and right of the rocky outcroppings. Grass crunched beside her beneath someone else's feet. The Roc squawked behind, determined as it smashed through the countryside. The hissing of pistons drowned out the whistling wind until Cairn imagined she could feel its beak nipping at her shirt. A clang of something heavy and metal echoed out as she dove behind an enormous boulder, burrowing into a deep divot in the earth just beside it. Her heart beat in her ears loud enough that she couldn't tell at first whether the Roc's footsteps were headed toward her or away. When the boulder did not shift to crush her nor a great beak appeared to her side at the opening of the trench, her blood calmed and she managed to crane her neck out of the hole just enough to see the Roc moving away. She watched the terror of the night head back over the moors toward two pale points of firelight on the horizon, some poor farmer who'd left a candle burning just a moment too long.

Cairn stayed put. She knew the dangers of the night; she stood a better chance of surviving if she didn't move than if she tried to find somewhere more comfortable. Instead, she carefully moved earth from beneath the edge of the rock until it grew too hard for her. It wasn't much, but she'd stayed in worse places. The empty wine barrel in the hold of the first cargo ship she snuck aboard struck her as one; the bottom drawer of a dresser in a warehouse off the main street of the eastern porthaven occurred to her as well. Choosing not to remember either, she watched the clouds shift in the weird light of the towers until the persistent pattering of rain lulled her to sleep.

(to be continued)

#Pear writes #by the light of copper #cairn shipstealer

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