#rewatched ep9 and have so many feelings

[captain-flint]

i’m rewatching ep 10 and suffering instant brain damage bc i took a second to really look around the captain’s cabin after ed came back from the privateering academy without stede and it is a heartbreaking FEAST (honestly the continuity in this show.. chef’s kiss)

the scene is fairly dark but most things lying around the room seem recognizable, like stede’s blue jacket that he was arrested in that is now a pile of blue silk on the floor next to a chaise longue (something stede would probably have nightmares about) and stede’s yellow robe (i think!) draped over the couch that also has a bed pillow on it which could mean ed slept on it, curled up and wearing the robe or more likely covered with it (same as in the bathtub scene). moving on, because i can’t linger on that thought or i’ll disintegrate into tears, ed obviously brought his old leather outfit back from the academy and you can see parts of it discarded on the floor/tiny chair as if he either dumped it out of the bag, or more likely tried to put it back on and then decided against it seeing as it didn’t fit him anymore, littering the clothes around as he took them off again

a real kicker, though, is the bed and the garment on it. it’s bright blue silk mixed in with the sheets that are rumpled as if the bed had been slept in, pillows arranged in a way as if someone was hugging them. we know from ep9 that the entire room was clean and tidy before they left (meaning the bed was too), so unless izzy had been sleeping in it (very unlikely), that mess has to be ed’s. it’s literal confirmation that he slept in stede’s bed crying into the many pillows on it and hugging silky covers/clothes and i for one am losing my mind about it

once ed goes on a cleaning spree you can see the bed is neatly made with blue silk folded on top (and his leather jacket has upgraded from floor to chair)

(and it’s so tidy like he really enjoys folding stuff and i find that breathtakingly endearing)

anyway, back to my previous point about ed ditching his old leather, his grey pants and white shirt that he got from the academy (continuity!) are thrown over the ottoman next to what appears to be his purple shirt and the discarded leather and black shirt (on the floor). those are the only clothes that we know he owns and both options were clearly a no before he decided on some random 18th century version of sweatpants (that i still wonder who the owner of is because it’s clearly not stede) and stede’s red flower banyan

and lastly (as presented in the 2 pictures above) there is an ungodly amount of discarded marmalade jars all around the room. or what i assume are jars but some could also be big white candles, but let’s go with all of them being marmalade jars because we know stede had unlimited amounts of it and it was one of the first things he’d shared with ed so of course ed would fixate on it to soothe his broken heart, it’s quite literally the sweetest memory of stede and my man was drowning in it

IN CONCLUSION, i’m feeling deranged about all of it. thank you for listening!

#edward teach #blackbeard #ofmdedit #ofmd #ofmd meta #our flag means death #blackbonnet #taika waititi #the idea of this man spending days sifting through clothes and moving from couch to bed to literal floor #in a drunken broken hearted haze eating copious amounts of sweet food trying and failing to get over stede #is so hilariously painful #i want to SOB

[cherryblossomsandhydrangeas]

Sk8 Rewatch Ep9

God I hope either the OVA or Season 2 gives us more Cherry and Joe backstory cause fuck do they deserve it.

Cherry, honestly, you have extended your hand to Adam far too many times. Honestly, what has he done for you other than take? You try and give your friendship, you try and give a helping hand, you try and give love, and you try and offer a chance to be better, but he won’t take it. It’s not your job to fix him, and at this point it’s hurting you more than you realize.

I wish Sk8 was longer cause we deserved more serious beefs for Joe, Cherry, Miya, and Shadow. Really amp them up to show why their the top skaters of the place.

I’m gonna start walking around S with a shirt that says “Reki Defense Squad” and a bat.

Reki: “Hey, LANGA!” (Now everyone at S knows ya’ll are gay.) [Who am I kidding? S is just a gay club with skateboarding.]

So, fun fact, steel beams can weigh over 1,000lbs even if it’s a small beam. Since it was being held up by a crane we can assume that the beam that Joe kicked was at least 4,000lbs. Muscle-bound God of Skateboarding indeed.

Ooof, Cherry knew Joe lost even before the race finished.

Adam: I can hear them now, the ringing of wedding bells! You’re about to hear my foot going up your ass.

Joe taking over for Oliver again. At this point, Nanako’s gonna be paying child support.

Oh, Reki, baby. 😢😢😢

Not gonna lie, when I first watched Sk8, I actually put a little hope into Adam, watching him lose his voice after he pulled Cherry’s card. His little “Oh” had me thinking he actually had a soul for a hot second.

The one outcome Joe didn’t want coming true. God can you imagine, even if he won against Langa, he’d still have had to watch Adam and Cherry’s beef?!

Cherry: I’ve been waiting for this day. Adam: I didn’t want to compete against you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you. I hate you.

I do actually like that Joe can flirt with people he only probably expects a passionate one-night stand, or something of a short relationship from. But, when it’s someone he truly loves, he loses his voice and becomes flustered.

Adam: Hey, how long is this little skit of yours going to go on? It’s about time to start. Me: Aww, is someone jealous he gave up his only two friends and that they still find happiness in each other? Sounds like a you problem.

Joe: Be careful. He’s not the old Adam. Cherry: I don’t need you to tell me that. Oof the double meaning in that.

If you think Cherry not only dodging the Love Hug, but also skating a corner with his eyes closed isn’t cool only because Carla told him the angle, we can’t be friends and I’m gonna have to ask you to leave.

Ya’ll ever noticed Cherry talks to himself a lot?

I have so many words I have to say about Adam v. Cherry. Like. Sooooo many.

I wonder if these are his classmates or just random dudes he found. Like 3/4 are actually kinda cute, even though the two on the right look like total snobs.

Now, I’m 100% gonna make a separate post about Adam & Cherry, but for now, aren’t the red tiles on the ground sorta posed likes wings?

You can physically see Joe’s last shred of hope for Adam shriveling up and dying. Joe can tolerate a lot of shit, but he 100% has a line and it’s name is Sakurayakishi Kaoru.

I need those fucking contacts.

Reki, no, come back and take this pin right this second. 🥺

No, Tadashi, Adam being like this is not your fault. You’ve just been groomed to believe that any wrongdoing he does is on your shoulders.

Adam: You’re so naive, Cherry. Me: Damn, it’s almost as if he cares about you.

I like the way that Sk8 shows that Cherry’s current feelings for Adam aren’t romantic. When he gets hit, the image that shatters isn’t the one of the two of them looking into each other’s eyes or when Adam calls them special. It’s the one of him with Adam and Joe. The one of them laughing and being happy, something that he wishes that they all could have again.

I’m so gonna make a post on Adam’s boring comment. Like, how can I not? He’s so full of shit it’s actually insane. Like, I’m sorry you’re not letting yourself have fun.

On another note, I’m also gonna make a post on why I think Kaoru can’t go into the zone. And it’s not because of the way he skates either.

So am I supposed to believe the hospital didn’t call the cops when Kaoru escaped?

Love how it’s implied Joe drank that entire bottle of wine. Like, can you imagine how worried he was, head injuries are no joke.

Joe, sweetie, you need to tell him.

#sk8 cherry blossom #sk8 the infinity #sk8 #sk8 joe #sk8 ad*m #sk8 langa #sk8 nanako #sk8 reki #sk8 rewatch #sk8 shadow #sk8 tadashi #sk8 miya

[llycaons]

ep9: dafan wens my friends the dafan wens

imo this is def the weakest arc in the show. this episode was fun but whew, I think ep8 might have been my least favorite and we're still getting out of it

he asks this question way later in eps 20 and 43 or something and each time lwj is like 'we just gotta rush them' king of rigid problem-solving and only having one solution to any problem <3

threatening jc with lwj is kind of funny but on a rewatch it's like. ah

credit where it is due. jc almost expressed concern here for wwx

wwx defending lwj for zero reason and then turning and giving him such a sweet smile. bud you are so far gone <3

NOW IT'S DAYTIME?? not even dawn but BROAD daylight. mama mia

yeah, I feel like putting the zombied people in the cage would have been safer than putting the healthy ones in

IS HE. HMM

god this is so sad. look how miserable wq looks to see her popo like this

I don't like any of the surreal, drawn-out, misty sequences interspersed with fight scenes. I mean the waterborne abyss. I mean this forest fight. I mean a chunk of yi city. I mean the maze forest. I just hate the hazy atmosphere and there's usually no good character moments and there's a ton of worldbuilding magic that I can't follow very well and don't rly care for

this fight isn't bad tho! there's some fun banter and some cool angles, like the one above

ANOTHER ATTEMPT AT STRANGLING WWX. WHEN WILL HE CATCH A BREAK. this is the first of...four? jc, wrh, and jgy way later...let wwx breathe 2k23

also this is a VERY funny thing to worry about. lwj is very good at going Heady Empty (meditation) but wwx found it challenging due to having so many thoughts

I SEE BABY A-YUAN!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO!!!!!!!!

as much as I complain about him as a character I was THRILLED to see this little guy. I LOVE baby a-yuan and I think he's just precious. his survival was one of the things I needed to be spoiled for in order to watch the show without significant distress

though given the timeline this can't be a-yuan...he'd be way too old by the time the post-sunshot timeline rolls around. that's at least two years later. so I guess this is his older sister who looks the same as him. god but that's a cute little actor. love him and his big chubby cheeks and his little fingers and his baby wig

GREAT choice for little wn and wq too. they look just like their adult versions. actually I think the casting for all the kids versions of the adult characters was perfect except for a-yuan doesn't look a great deal like lsz imo

HA. wrh may be power-hungry and getting more unhinged by the day with the magic of the yin iron but he's still a more savvy political actor than his stupid fucking son. 'of course wen qing is going to intervene if you mess with her family, you fuckhead' lmao

SUCH a pretty shot I love how saturated the colors are for their outfits and headpieces

literally such a fucking funny scene. well-dressed young nobles hunting in the woods for a chicken. and wwx being so clever and getting wq alone so he and lwj can question her in private. curious how quick he was to cut nhs and jc out. nhs isn't from either of their sects, but jc should theoretically be trustworthy. except! wwx doesn't trust him. hmmm. even this early, he and lwj act as a unit. lwj's entirely given up trying to go it alone and now they work together nearly seamlessly

literally seconds apart. I fucking give up. and I don't think it's the translations because this has been a consistent issue in all the versions I've watched. it's 10! wq and wn are clearly around the age of the others so it's not 20

remember that post that's like 'jc: lady wen may I rub thine shoulders? massage your feet? feed you grapes? vs. wwx and wq doing a six-step handshake and laughing together' that NAILED it. jc trying to be attentive and gentlemanly bc he views her as a Woman and he's trying to fulfill the role he understands to be expected of him, as a man, in society ( to Intervene and Protect). meanwhile wwx views her as an independent actor in this shitty situation they're in. dgmw wwx is also sexist but he treats women more like human people than jc does, esp wq. he also thinks out of the box and isn't afraid to challenge social norms, unlike jc who's guided by social expectations because his parents haven't given him strong positive role modeling and he doesn't have strong instincts on how to behave outside of what he's been taught by society in general

but like I said. still sexist. it's not like being a creative and original thinker can save him from Living In A Society

lwj is very polite to wq, as he appears to be to all women, but I don't think he'd get close with any women because he doesn't get close with anyone at all. also I don't think he meets many women so he doesn't have much interaction with them outside of professional and impersonal settings so they've been at an arm's length from him since he mama died

jc is consistently so unpleasant to wwx. like would it kill you to be supportive of your brother when he's trying to solve a mystery. for ONCE

I like this waiter <3

be nice to the waiter my GOD jc. chill out. he's just telling a story

ohhh cinematic parallels to post-sunshot hmm 👀

overall the yin iron plot is overly complex, kind of silly, and imo feels extraneous, and I can def tell why novel fans dislike it. but it did give the boys and girl some quality time together and an excuse for exposition/backstory development and really, that's all the purpose it needed to serve before its bigger role later. now if only jyl was on more of these trips :( I miss my girl. I love wq but jyl is probably my favorite female character

personal highlights

wwx's cute little smile directed at lwj for no other reason than that he likes him

wwx finding it hard to concentrate in the woods because he just has too many thoughts, which he interprets are being so so smart (and he IS I love you wei wuxian)

nhs and jc going chicken-hunting in the woods

BABY A-YUAN DEBUT!!!!!

#cql re-rewatch

[dontmesswithnoheroin]

so I've rewatched my comfort ofmd episode (ep5) and realized that I completely missed that the red piece of silk that Ed has with him and that Stede folds into his pocket is the piece of silk from his childhood. this might be a bit of a reach but hear me out.

my theory for s2 is that they're gonna make us wait AT LEAST half the season until Ed and Stede reunite. David Jenkins apparently said that he feels like OFMD should have about 3 seasons. so I really think they might reunite late in s2. (also I think it would be a shame if OFMD went on for many seasons and became washed up so I like the idea of 3 seasons)

In s1 the major development for Ed is seeing himself as someone else than Blackbeard and seeing another way of living and viewing himself with the aid of Stede. I think the point is that Ed doesn't think he can be that without Stede. I think s2 will be largely about these two applying what they've learned from each other by themselves without being able to rely on each other. This is why we end up in square one in s1 finale: Ed being seemingly more Blackbeard than he ever was and Stede without a ship and with his old crew (LACKING the three people that were really the smart and successful pirates). BUT Stede has resolved his guilt and got rid of his wealth, meaning that his pirate life is now more authentic - he doesn't have a way back anymore and he doesn't want it. At the same time, the last scene of Ed we see is him weeping looking at the picture of the lighthouse - he couldn't let go of that last reminder of Stede and is not able to go back to the way it was before he knew him, because Stede has changed him forever (as love does).

When I first watched the finale of s1 I thought the letting go of the silk was letting go of Stede and becoming Blackbeard again. But now I think that the letting go of red silk is the first step for Ed being able to grow on his own. HE has to fight his demons, not Stede. In the last ep of s1 we see that Ed himself doesn't think that he can be the way he was with Stede with him gone. We also see Ed being super insecure and afraid of rejection throughout the entire series. Fearing of not being good enough. But this is what the red silk represents! I think him letting go of the silk is his first step on the journey to realizing that he is indeed good enough and that he can believe that on his own, and he does not need Stede for it, because the silk represents his insecurity - a reminder from his mother that he's not one of the people that deserve nice things. And that is healthy love, isn't it? Growing on your own and not being dependent on your partner to do the growing for you. Stede's love has planted a seed in Ed that has catalized a change in him, but he is the only one that can allow this change to truly develop. And we also see this in ep9 of s1 where Ed goes with his jock friend and tells Stede this is who I am and you will realize this and leave me. This is the insecurity that Ed needs to deal with to develop himself and ultimately his and Stede's relationship.

#also at the end of s3 they will live happily ever after #trust me #ofmd #our flag means death #3am rambling

[queermyth]

I actually drew more than silco and jinx !! I had a rendered Viktor too but it did not turn out great so you get a skeleton sketch of him🧍it’s the best I can offer in these trying times

#that ekko is the most rendered drawing I’ve completed in a hoT minute #Ekko deserves it #golden treatment for a golden character👏 #Viktor you are also golden bby I just botched your render I’m so sorry😭😭 #forgive me #silco with his legs crossed does smth to me but we don’t have time to unpack that #digital fanart #arcane #silco #arcane silco #jinx my beloved #jinxarcane #viktor #viktor arcane #powder arcane #ekko arcane #lol fanart #I’m still suffering #rewatched ep9 and have so many feelings

[charthanry]

Fade to Black: Ranking All 12 BBS Episode Endings (for Science)

I’ve always been impressed with how P’Aof chooses to end each episode. He saves his bigger moments for the final scenes that usually wallops us with emotional impact leaving us to go down clown theory rabbit holes for a week before surprising us all over again. Some might say it’s his signature move. 

I’ve decided these endings need to be ranked for science purposes and because I’m a glutton for torturing myself. This became a much harder challenge than I initially thought (seriously, try it and understand my pain). But after much reshuffling, I’ve made my final choices and am sticking with them (keep the edit button away from me). To make this fair, and all things remaining the same, I am only including endings that are shown before P’Aof’s director credit title. This means all the bonus scenes don’t count (yes, the seaweed finger-licking scene and Pran, it’s not a porno! don’t make the cut). It breaks my heart, but it’s only fair that we judge P’Aof’s endings in the way he meant for us to see them and that’s before the fade to black.

12th // EP2 - The dumbass friends destroy the bus stop.

I think there’s a fandom consensus that this is the weakest episode ending of the series. Although narratively some might argue that this scene was necessary to move the story forward, it still felt jarring and out of place all the same. This is because the scene prior to this is Pran checking out a new potential dorm room to move into and Pat stalking showing up to stop him. After some bantering (flirting) it ends with them engaging in some very heated wrestling on the bed (the first of many). To P’Aof’s credit, the brawl did fall in line with what we already knew about the two opposing friend groups (that they’re moronic dumbasses: Korn and Wai or mindless followers: everyone else). I have never been a fan of shaky camera action so I’m glad that this episode’s ending happened early on and we got it out of the way.

11th // EP9 - The Pran and Ming stare down.

I’m not sure if it’s because we as a fandom became more adept at guessing P’Aof’s next moves by this point, but this episode’s ending was the worst kept secret ever. We knew it was coming, all signs were leading to a parental run-in so the shock factor was lost (at least on me) and with it some of it’s impact. I will say that this is the first time Pran was face to face with Pat’s dad without Pat also being there so it was interesting to see how Pran would handle it. Everyone’s acting in this scene was top-notch from Pran’s lingering huge smile to him being shocked and flustered, Pa’s uh-oh face, mom’s look of dread and Ming’s complete confusion with a tinge of something more sinister underneath. All four played their roles (and faces) perfectly. It’s just lower on my list for emotional impact.

10th // EP1 - The hopeful beginning.

The pilot episode’s ending sealed it for me. This series was going to be capital-S Special. There was so much build up here. The editing choices were interesting too. At the very end of the episode we have PatPran walking towards their rooms, one right after the other. And we learn that they’re neighbors and immediately the fandom as a collective goes: Oooh this is gonna be fun. But it’s also the scene leading up to this reveal that speaks volumes. Pran consciously makes the decision to wear the watch that Pat returned to him as kids. He does so while smiling to himself and this is our first glimpse into Pran’s feelings for Pat. We know now that this watch will never leave his wrist again and this knowledge on rewatches just zings straight to my heart. Well played, BBS.

9th // EP6 - The whoever falls first loses.

Are you surprised this isn’t higher on the rankings? Honestly, me too. This was a tough decision but all the remaining episodes were so incredible that it forced me to push this one lower on the list. We know everything that is going on here, we know their individual reasons for making this bet. Pat is letting Pran call the shots by being patient and keeping their relationship familiar and status quo for him. So yeah let’s go ahead and bet on who can get the other to yield first. It’s their thing. We all know that Pat’s already all in at this point but he wants to give Pran the time and space to get there as well. Also, I’m a sucker for scenes that take the characters outside of their normal environments so this whole mood with the boat and the lights in the background is an aesthetic feast.

8th // EP3 - The I just like seeing your face...when you lose.

I go back and rewatch this scene a lot. Our boys are so soft here, especially Pran. The beginning of this scene shows Pran pacing in front of Pat’s door working up the nerve to say a simple thank you, but more so because he wants to spend time with Pat (after an entire episode of time spent together, the boy can’t get enough. We get it Pran, we’re the same), we know this from his have you eaten yet? And immediately after turning down Pran’s unspoken offer to eat together, Pat is the one to extend their conversation by returning his guitar. For those keeping count, this is the second item Pat is returning to him and we already know about the significance of the watch. The guitar becomes even more so. This scene cements the lengths that Pat would go to get Pran to look at him LIKE THAT (we all know the look so no screenshot necessary) only Pat being the idiot he is doesn’t recognize his feelings yet making this moment that much more remarkable on rewatch. And to up the ante even further after Pat goes back to his room, we have a thoughtful-looking Pran take several beats and looks down at his watch, hugs the guitar, returns to his room only to open it again and flip the door tag from sad to happy. Pat did all that, he made Pran happy and the entire fandom melts.

7th // EP8 - The curtain drop.

This scene and this episode, oh boy. This was the ending that had me literally up on my feet and gasping, going OH SHIT! He didn’t! But in fact, P’Aof did. For shock and emotional impact this was the one that grabbed me by the throat. I felt like I was Pat when Pran flew in out of nowhere with the kick straight to the chest. I love that we see Pat looking at Pran first and the concern for him is plain and clear on his face. Pran is Pat’s priority. Then the camera pans to everyone’s reactions from least effected (play crew) to Pran’s friends to Korn (he actually looks concerned for them here on rewatch, oh Korn you soft puppy) to the most effected of all, Wai (the Weasel... or as I like to call him the Waisel). The building music, camera angles, the reactions and then PatPran’s faces as they look at each other and then up at Wai in the control booth... it is all so, so well done. This episode ending had me dying to get through the week to find out what happens next.

6th // EP4 - The would you like me (if you were her?)

I desperately wanted to rank this one so much higher because Nanon served and ATE this scene. No, correction- he served, ate it, drove it home and then took it to school the next day. Nanon is a top-tier level actor and this scene right here cements that in the annals. This is the first episode where he made me cry. The first emotional punch of the series and man was it a tough one to watch. In this beautiful aching scene we see that Pran, even in the midst of going through his feelings still grabs at the chance to watch Pat sleep with a small smile on his face. And that by itself is everything we need to know about Pran. He knows he can’t have Pat, he knows it. So he’ll take all the small moments that he can have and quietly tuck them away, safeguarding them from others, especially Pat. The music, the flashback montage, the mood lighting but especially the acting -- are all so incredibly well done. I consistently come back to this scene everytime I want to die a little. This is the scene that I’ll tell first time BBS watchers who are on the fence about the show (do these people even exist? hello?) to just try and get to the end of EP4 and see if you aren’t invested. I dare you. And in the rare case that this scene doesn’t move you? Sorry to break the news, but you’re a robot. You should go get that checked out.

5th // EP7 - The I always let my lover win.

Finally, at last our boys give into their feelings and become boyfriends. Pat wins by losing and we’re all winners for it. This episode’s ending is interesting in that it departs in style from all the episodes before it, there isn’t a linear story here. We find out that Pat yielded to Pran long before we saw him show up to rescue him with the play. It was a little confusing at first, but on subsequent watches, it works. I love that Pat confesses that he’s lost while staying within the confines of the play’s dialogue. This double meaning is intriguing because no one else understands it except for them, it’s like they’re having a secret conversation out in the open. It’s fascinating how P’Aof chose to end the bet this way. We all learn Pat was always willing to lose, that to be together or not has always been Pran’s decision, but it’s that HUGE SMILE Pran gives Pat when he sees him after turning around- THAT is Pat’s payoff for losing, that’s his big WIN. To get Pran to look at him like that. Then we move to Pran finally feeding Pat his specially-cooked curry and the intimacy in this scene is so sweet and endearing that we almost feel like we’re intruding on their private moment. Then of course it all gets ruined by Pa needing to pee, pfft.

4th // EP11 - The let's go home. Good luck, buddy. 

The break up may have been fake but the tears were real. Why did Pat cry in front of their houses if he knew the break up wasn’t real? Eighty percent of this is audience fake out but narratively speaking, it’s because he wasn’t sure if going back to being fake enemies would mean they’d make it. Pat is a very open person, we’ve established that he doesn’t like being Pran’s dark secret. The doubts he has shows here but he accepts any part of Pran that he can have, out in the open or not, and this decision to go back into hiding makes everything that much harder for Pat. I think it’s not until years later when they’re no longer outwardly trying to fool everyone that Pat begins to breathe a little easier, knowing for certain that Pran isn’t going anywhere and will continue to fight alongside him. Everything about this ending, the what if our families didn’t hate each other montage, the duologue as they show us their ideal world, Pran singing our song really points to the belief that it’s over for them. And it’s a crushing blow to us as the audience. I thought of ranking this lower because most of it is audience manipulation but it’s such a great con and achieved what it set out to do so it deserves it’s spot here.

3rd // EP5 - The I was depressingly lonely (without you).

The first emotional ending where we see both of them experiencing it at the same time. This scene had the best music score so far in the series. We commend the acting and directing on this show (as we should) but the music selection is on another level, especially here. They went with a song that has slow guitar chords as Pat confesses how much he missed Pran when he wasn’t around, asks him that all important question what are we if not enemies and not friends? to gradually move into soaring drum beats as they kiss. Perfection. We see Pat timidly pull back to guage Pran’s reaction but knowing what we know of Pran (who will grab at anything Pat-related when he can, to store for safe keeping later), he pulls Pat in for that deeper kiss, all his repressed feelings going into it. This was the moment we (and Pat) got to see all of Pran laid bare. And it’s magnificent. This episode’s closing seconds is interesting in that we get two different reactions to the kiss. Pat’s is relief that he finally has a name to call these feelings threatening to burst out of him and Pran’s is defeat and turmoil. And both are oh so relatable.

2nd // EP10 - The I can't take it anymore. Let's get away from here.

This episode’s ending was a cinematic experience. I’ve cried in this series before, but this was the first that had me UGLY crying. It was unexpected two episodes removed from the finale. I’ve written about my reaction to this scene before so I’ll just reiterate what I said here. The beauty is in the breakdown. Pran’s breakdown here gutted me. All these years of repression just poured out of him and you can just feel how tired he is of holding it in. He finally has someone who he can lean on to help him shoulder all this burden. And damn if it doesn’t feel both soul-crushing and satisfying when he lets it out. BUT...it’s Pat’s quiet strength here that stays with me after we fade to black. And Ohm absolutely slays here. Pran’s sobs can be heard around the world but Pat holding back his own devastation to care for Pran is just....everything. Because we KNOW it’s not in Pat’s nature to hold back and conceal anything. When he wants Pran to know something, he communicates it immediately. But him letting his tears silently fall while he comforts Pran is just truly heartbreaking. It’s him saying let me set aside my own breakdown for yours. Let me do this for you. And in this sense it speaks to EVERYTHING we know about Pat. Of who he is to his core. Sacrificing himself for others. Putting Pran’s needs above his own. And that is just so beautiful and noble and it fucking hurts.

1st // EP12 - The perfect ending.

The ending that takes us back to the beginning. Bookends. An ending that is so full and complete that it’s deserving of two screen shots. We’re left with the firm belief that PatPran will make it, that whatever this world has in store for them, they’ll face it together. That unspoken family approval and long distance relationships have no shot at tearing them apart. They are in it for the long haul. To close it out in the final seconds with their younger selves is P’Aof’s parting gift to us as it depicts how it’s always been between our boys, that despite all the family rivalry, despite being taught to hate and not care for one another, these two found their way to each other anyway. And this knowledge is so inspiring in its messaging: that you carve your path in life. And the life that you choose is the best life simply because it’s of your own making and no one can ever take that from you.

):):):):):):):)

Thank you very much for reading and following me down this incredible journey of recapping BBS’ episode endings. My next challenge to myself is the daunting task of full episode rankings so stay tuned for that.

#bad buddy #bad buddy series #pranpat #pat x pran #bad buddy the series #episode endings #paof #my rankings for all episode endings #bbs #what a ride they gave us huh #ohmnanon #my stuff #i'm crazy for doing this #but it's done and I'd like to get your thoughts #do you agree or disagree with my selections?? #please let me know #i'm dying to know what you think #thank you for reading

[casualavocados]

bad buddy does such a good job at making everything feel real, and i want to talk specifically about the dialogue. every character interaction is so natural and built off emotion that it never feels obviously scripted. sometimes in shows there are lines that feel like a plot point is being dropped, like, "oh, that was a hint," and it never really feels that way in bb? it feels much more like you're an observer of a private conversation that only those involved in will truly understand, and some lines and scenes won't become clear until a rewatch (or several) later.

pat and pran's lives, and the story itself, are built through so much nuance that goes right over the audience's head without us realizing it. there are lines that seemingly don't match with what was previously said, but the characters follow quickly. everything has so many complex layers of emotion and meaning.

i could go on and on about good writing and good acting but honestly, genuinely, how do they do that? every word is carried through and touches the rest of the story. nothing feels unimportant, or like it doesn't fit.

even the simplest things, like mentions of pran's transfer in ep1, went right over my head the first time through. other examples such as in ep1 when pran's mom asks him if he's payed for the dorm yet, coupled with the scene two eps later where pran says he saved up and payed for his guitar himself, right after he calls pat's family "flexible". a random vendor saying to pat "iced tea for someone so icy" in ep1. the entire ep4 micellar water scene is some of the most naturally flowing dialogue i've ever heard. the ep2 argument where pat said it was peaceful without pran but refuses to let pran twist that into saying pran was the cause of his difficulties, coupled with "it was so depressingly lonely for me". pat thanking pran for saving pha in ep6. the way it appears that pran set up the confession on the stairs in ep10, got his whole faculty involved, but it's never confirmed outright in words. the entire ep7 rooftop scene. ep4's "here, less sweet." vs ep9's "but i ordered less sweet". don't get me started on "good luck, buddy".

there are parallels upon parallels and metaphors upon metaphors and all of it is an inside joke between the characters, between the show and the audience, and none of it is annoyingly repetitive.

and it's not just pat and pran. every single character, everyone on the side, felt like real people just living their lives rather than people put there to further the plot. like this feels like a cheesy tumblr quote to say this, but it's really like how every single interaction you have leaves a mark on you. every conversation with someone else throughout the series allows pat and pran to further develop themselves, not because it's something they're meant to do for the story, but because its a natural part of being human to reflect and act, sometimes unconsciously, in different ways depending on the person you're with. so much of it is unintentional, which is what makes it so real, and also not boring. even those characters with actions you may not like or agree with never feel out of the blue - always have deeper, and understandable meanings to them.

i think a lot about how, just by existing, people like uncle tong and junior and his mom left lasting impressions on pat and pran. there's even a line in ep11, when the obvious reminders of their own situation are hanging over their heads, where pat says "that's someone else's business, let's talk about ours." i really liked that. it drew a line separating the two scenarios, but there was still a lasting impact on pat and pran.

this kind of got off track actually but the point is as a story it really feels familiar. not because we've gone through the same things pat and pran have, but because we've all experienced every emotion they show to us on screen, through every seemingly unimportant detail. everything works so well, especially in the moments where it's not obvious why. and i love to pick through the details and find the exact reasons a scene works the way it does.

#julian watches bb #bad buddy series #im literally just rambling i hope it rains more later i think i need to go outside and stand in it #long post #and like. obviously it's not just the dialogue #its the acting and the portrayals and the writing #even the way the characters move tells so much about them. #it's so wild to see. like it's just a romcom but also thank you miscellar for your tags one this #bc its also a character study #and the entire way this show is structured is so airtight #everything is so intentional #and its exactly part of why this show is such a joy to rewatch bc everything you discover just makes it stronger #its really about how every character that crosses their path #never intentionally tries to drive them together or the plot forward #theyre all just people living their lives and having those lives brush against other peoples #connecting and separating over and over again #its incredibly done. it makes me want to knoq more about everyone

[gaytransbimbo]

yo I'm in detective mode rewatching the whole show and this is gonna be long I apologize I apologize BUT in my defense, I'm obsessed with this so yeah

the mustache guy Gretchen drinks cocktails with is used for the Pilot ID in ep. 2 photo and name. I don't know if this is any used but I felt good to find out so take it as useless info.

the bunker and HQ have been architecturally designed with many similarities - a lot of concrete, narrow vertical openings for sunlight, smooth floor textures, even the wood surfaces in some walls are very similar used - so I'm gonna go ahead and assume they are located in the same building or very close together. we also see the bunker entrance in ep. 1 (the woman giving Alex the Pilot's bag) and ep. 7 (the girls been taken off the plane) so the Bunker is very close to the island (a very small trip with the boat I'm gonna say I have a theory here about them drugging everyone (cause its easy) and operating on Rachel's hand real quick and dropping her back on the island.. no idea moving on)

1/3

this gonna be long I apologize again

timeline: in ep.6 gretchen gets checked into this hospital and says to Agent Daniel Whatever "in two months time". so this is the day of the mussels thus we're talking around Day 12 or 13 I'm not sure. In ep.9 they are starving (Day 22) and they find the goat next (Day 23) when Leah asks Nora what is the date and she says JUNE 29th. Checking notes and math and shit, the mussels and the day Gretch finds Agent Daniel Whatever is MAYBE JUNE 18th. according to that "in two months time" when he is going to be needed in the bunker, we are talking about a rescue happening on the early days of August, which gives us one final month for the rest of the project to be finished in the Bunker. In ep9 we have January 10th written down on a box BUT the day before Shelby had asked for Leah and so we know we ain't near the end of the Bunker project phase, but quite at the beginning still. So we can assume that the "two months" in the island might have been flexed a looot longer than that? We know crazy shit happened - shelby's interview - so we can assume again they could have been left on the island until early motherfucking January because hoLY FUCK THAT'S A LOT OF TIME (but it could explain the fact that Rachels hand is like insanely healed and this timeline could be easily covered by the four seasons they are planning on going but I don't know man.. my mind is fucking blown even thinking about this)

But then again - no. Because Gretch is like talking with the parents at the same time she tells Leah's parents "end of the summer" slash 'the end of the 3month project'. (but that's before the crazy shit that happened after the shark attack so no idea). HOWEVER she IS digging up dirt on the girls to use but, man, i don't know this thought ends here.

2/3

I think Martha and Nora are fine. Nora is "arrested" (?) as they are going with the fake investigation line and I think she does come clean to the rest of the girls about her role after the shark. And I'm gonna go with the theory of Martha being very very hurt or something, even if Toni is like very calm I don't know. Shelby and Toni are fine come on, guys, Shelby was like ready to fucking tear them apart when Agent Young said her name like WOW, the girl protective as shit.And also like rewatching the interviews, every girl seems to like pause for a second every time one of the Agents tries to push. Rachel after the whole "but that didn't materialize". Fatin after they look at her weird when she said she believed Leah. Shelby's whole thing (amazing acting I am in love with Mia like aihxsidhe0udgpiw) after the "according to some Intel we've gathered". And Leah like... man, Jeff ??? she was over this guy. I think the girl is like putting up some insanely good manipulation thing knowing that they know of the paranoid tendencies and shit. I don't know. 3/3 lol sorry about this mess I need to let out my thoughts on someone and you were the victim of it. you can dismiss them if you feel like it, I apologize for murdering your inbox

you don’t understand how excited i got about this ask lmao. thank u. okay so lets see...

yeah the bunker and the HQ are probably the same building, it would make everything easier for gretchen. it has to be close to the island since they can get there by boat but they also have access to the real world/hospitals/the donors ect. So I don’t think they are near Peru one bit but where are they???

them being on the island for 6 months makes sense with rachel’s hand but also WTF GRETCHEN?? and were their parents okay with that?? idek bro idk what to believe the timeline is so messed up. They were definitely there for an extra month after the shark but idk January seems like a stretch. Also the timeline of the interviews is interesting in itself too. How many days has it been until Leah’s escape? were the interviews in chronological order or are they mixed up?

Nora pretending to be arrested makes a lot of sense?? cause the whole “it’s up to you now” rachel said indicates that Nora’s fate is up to the “FBI agents”. I also don’t think Martha is dead. i love Mia’s acting and omg i can’t wait for a goodfoe reunion in the bunkers. And yeah! Leah talking about jeff so openly weirded me out but then we learn she gets over him on the island too so it makes less sense....unless she is trying to confuse them????

#the wilds #the wilds theories #asks #this is long #but i get super excited with asks like this #nora reid #rachel reid #toni shalifoe #shelby goodkind #leah rilke #dot campbell #fatin jadmani #martha blackburn

[alexiaugustin]

Since I seem to be in a really positive mood today and even though this show clearly doesn't deserve this post here's my list of favorite skam france s6 clips:

Samedi 07:52 The day after ep1: I really really loved the first clip of the season a lot more than the trailer and I think that it was such a great introduction to Lola's pov. We really saw the world through her eyes in such a special way in that moment n I loved all the hints to the plot (same sex couple walking down the street and being viewed as completely normal> w|w storyline with no internalized homophobia; the raccon tag > foreshadowing for otteli and urbex plot; lola photographing broken things > insight into lola's feelings) The cinematography and use of pov was a masterpiece in this one.

Lundi 7:43 Tiff ep1: This one is just here for the grew being the most supportive and loving friend group, skipping classes together to take care of Daphné and that group hug <33 need I say more?? No. Every clip with the grew is gonna be on this list because the little screen time they had this season needs to be honoured. I'm sorry that they did you so dirty babes:((

Mercredi 13:03 Fuck the planet ep1: my absolute favorite mayla clip this season!! one of my absolute favorite clips in general!! I still remember the day when they dropped that clip and I got so excited for this season again. Maya being a climate activist and such a warm and lovely person I immediately fell in love with her. Maya looking at Lola as if she's a princess walking down the stairs to a ball in some fairy tale. Maya not letting Lola's cold remarks throw her off n replying with equal sass instead, Maya's iconic coming out line and Lola smiling for the first time all season!! That clip was really off the charts

Vendredi 16:43 Someone exceptional ep1: This is my absolute favorite clip of the whole season and the amount of times I've rewatched this is actually unhealthy. Something just clicked and for the first time I felt really connected with Lola and felt and understood her pain (probs to Flavie she was amazing here) I loved the lil details abt this clip: Lucas playing the piano, le grew all hugging Daphné, Daphné's speech and break down (lula was amazing here too I really really felt connected to Daphné in that moment), Eliott and Lola meeting for the first time (their best clip this season, gosh the potential they had to actually develop such a cool and beautiful sibling relationship with them and then they did.... whatever the rest of their storyline was), Lola trying so hard to read Daphné's speech and then holding her own instead because she so desperately needs to get this off her chest and make ppl understand her and last but not least the cinematic shots of her running out of the church and breaking down. Truly my favorite clip.

Mercredi 12:56 You don't know me ep2: my second favorite mayla clip and hell did I love their dynamic and chemistry in this one. The community service clips were so so special and gave them such unique vibes I'm so sad that the rest of their storyline really couldn't live up to that because the beginning really was breathtaking and I was so here for their storyline and really believed that I would get the w|w rep I deserve this season. Rip

Jeudi 19:33 Sorry ep2: Daphné and Lola finally warming up to eachother, both of them apologizing, Lola saying that she can make dinner and they can watch one of Daphné's favorite tv shows together. Baby steps. Also Daphné grieving and smelling her mother's shirt to find comfort. Such an important clip!!

Vendredi 22:22 Otteli ep2: Again the opening shots and cinematography of this clip!! Lola meeting la mif for the first time and I was completely buying their found family dynamic from the start, maya and lola being 👀 the entire time and last but not least Eliott being introduced as urbex legend n royalty,, the wasted potential of that storyline tho...

Samedi 6:43 An awesome party ep3: again maya's and lola's chemistry in this one and their first real and deep conversation, maya opening up about her parents and how she found a home and family in la mif, their smiles and laughs and lola replying to Daphné's text messages because that's growth baby!

Lundi 7:53 The slap ep3: again just here for le grew, the way they all pulled daphné in for a group hug I'm cryinnn. Also Lucas telling the people who were gossiping abt Lola to turn around and mind their own business, dare I say iconic. the way we could have had it all this season and then skamfr decided to make them enemies. Hate it here

Samedi 13:18 Hangover ep4: this clip being a parallel to the beginning of ep2, we all believed that Lola went out and slept with another stranger and would feel lost and overwhelmed again and then! we and she found out that she's at maya's n instead of being lost again she completely openes up to Maya abt her life and Maya just holds her and Lola clings onto her as if her life depends on it and finds comfort in Maya. Still crying about this one

Mardi 21:43 You want to talk about it? ep4: I would be lying if I didn't tell you that I've rewatched this clip countless of times simply because seeing Eliott so happy and excited at his workplace has me feeling some type of way. I liked his and Lola's general dynamic in this one my main problem is just that it was so damn underdeveloped and came out of nowhere. Skam france you're a transmedia show text messages would have really helped you bby!!

Samedi 14:23 Luquette ep5: ohh out of all the clips with Eliott in it this one's definitely my favorite (and also one of the only ones I liked) both Eliott and Lola getting to speak for themself abt their mental health, seeing Eliott's development going from being ashamed and hiding his mental illness to now being so open about it and giving others advice, them talking about Eliott's Lucas and Lola's Luquette (🥺) Eliott being ready to run from Daphné with Lola and Lola saying that she's gonna take responsibility and Eliott looking like a proud big brother > the only clip with sibling vibes of them this season

Samedi 17:36 Just a girl ep5: Daphné and Lola reconciling, Daphné wanting to buy Lola picture frames and not letting that go even tho they have so little money and she sorts other stuff out instead. Please their sister bond this season has my heart. And also Maya and Lola at that supermarket gay panic energy at its finest. I loved that clip and that even after what happened last Friday Maya is still such a warm and loving person in that clip. Ugh why did they had to ruin her character later that season??☹

Mercredi 18:49 I miss you ep5: in case y'all are wondering if I'm just gonna put every single mayla clip on that list- don't worry this one is gonna be the last in a while. Anyway back to the good old days lamifex hanging all out together and being literal children together <33 mayla finally getting to talk and Maya explaining herself, showing Lola her scars and telling her that she misses her when she's not around. My heart combusted watching that clip

Lundi 12:35 We are even ep6: le grew studying together!! especially lucas and imane!!!! screaming. the only time we ever got to see them preparing for the bac but at least we have this one clip. Basile and Lola sibling dynamic and also the clip confirming that Daphné indeed has an eating disorder and Lola beginning to be really worried about her

Mercredi 18:27 I don't know what you're looking for ep6: Lola finding out about Daphné's eating disorder and finding proof in her room, Daphné freaking out and the last shots of her trying so hard not to fall apart, lula's acting in this scene!! It was all so realistic it truly is one of the top ten clips too

Jeudi 21:53 It won't always work ep6: Daphné and Lola talking and Lola opening up abt her addiction problems and telling Daphné that she can really really understand her and that both of them can get better again, Lola and Daphné being completely at peace and cuddling on the couch and watching tv together. One of my favorite clips of them this season I just love their sister bond so much

Mercredi 16:52 The break up ep7: both Lula's and Paul's acting was incredibly I was 100% buying that break up, Basile desperately wanting to help Daphné but not really knowing how, Daphné throwing him out and immediately having a break down, feeling so helpless and lost :'(( also Lola seeing her sister breaking down and not knowing how to help her either broke my heart. Protect the Lecomte sisters at all costs

Dimanche 18:32 Freesias ep8: for me this one was the true full cycle moment this season. The Lecomte family visiting their mum on mother's day, Lola revealing that she does know her favorite flowers and that her mum used to sent them to her along with letters she never read, Lola saying that if she could she might read them now but it's too late for that and in some kind of way she was making peace with her mum and everything that happened between them. Daphné taking the umbrella so Thierry can pull Lola close and them just standing in the rain and healing n growing as a family!! This clip was so emotional and important and skamfr had the audacity to destroy all that development with Thierry for useless drama. I'm endlessly bitter

Mardi 18:03 Vital prognosis ep8: just daphné, basile, lola and maya being a happy lil family together. This clip was so peaceful and beautiful to watch every time ep9 ruined my mood I went back to this clip to cheer myself up again. Really wish we could have seen more of them together and maya and lola as a couple

Vendredi 23:04 Emergency ep10: okay so I really didn't like that skamfr switched povs to build up suspense and was actually just triggering for many of us. But I just wanna say Lula's acting!!! The way she said "But how do you know we're going to find her, Lucas? Putain! She has never left a note before this is the first time for all we know" truly her acting!! I rewatched that clip so many times for that line alone (until I realized that the storyline was actually really triggering for me so I haven't watched the clip ever since but still)

Samedi 01:06 Sisters ep10: still hate the storyline and that it was done in episode 10 but I'm sooo glad that Daphné went to talk to Lola alone, that Daphné tells her that she's always loved her and basically everything they said in that clip!! Really moving and emotional one of the only clips that really made me cry this season. Again I live for Flavie's and Lula's acting

Mercredi 16:38 Beep beep beep ep10: even tho the mayla storyline was in context of the season really lacking depth at this point, watching this clip ignoring the context really was a cultural reset. One thing I love abt skam france is just that they let lgbt people live their lives without having homophobia being thrown at them left and right so kissing your gf in the middle of the supermarket like that might not be realistic but I don't care!!!!! let the gays live their life and kiss in the supermarket!!! thanks!! also that song especially the lyrics "darling I won't let you go" thoughts are being thunk💌

And yeah basically that's it. As yall may notice I loved the first half of the season way more than the second half and I feel like there was so much wasted potential and important storylines left unaddressed because they wanted to throw in more drama....

#skam france

[alexmanesairstream]

I just rewatched some RNM Malex scenes and got rubbed the wrong way again bc of something Carina has said. And I want to add in real quick that what fans actual see and take from the scenes we’re shown on screen is important and her habit of telling fans that something that literally all of us have seen and agreed on is incorrect bc the way she wrote it was intended to be different- is becoming increasingly frustrating. Anyways, back to my current issue and point, she’s mentioned before that Michael doesn’t believe that Alex wants him and them to be together and I have an entire list of reasons with proof from various episodes on why, canonically, this is incorrect based on what we’ve seen repeatedly. I’ll probably do a longer post one day with all the evidence from scenes when I have time and I’m not sweaty and moody in this god awful summer heat but for now, I just want to focus on one scene -or incident rather;

After Alex confronts Michael in 1x10 and dicovers he had slept with Maria, Alex immediately goes to Maria after to talk to her and for the first time he is straight forward and acknowledges (out loud) to someone else (I’m not really counting the scenes with Kyle in ep9) his feelings for Michael. A lot of people call it Alex laying his claim, and some have said it’s Alex finally realising that he could lose Michael because someone else is interested. Whatever you interpret that scene as is up to you but the main point is that Alex went to Maria to straight up tell her - in not so many words- This is the guy. This is who I’m in love with. This is the person I’ve been in love with for 10 miserable years.

Also just a quick side note bc I just love Alex and everything he does, I am entirely sure that if in that scene, Maria had told Alex that she had feelings for Michael (which deserves an entire post on its own on why this makes no sense canonically in the given timeframe based on what we’re shown but alas), Alex would likely have spoken to her (and maybe Michael) about it and would totally have respected her wishes if she chose to pursue said relationship and given them space if it’s what they both wanted (as I’m sure is what’s going to happen next season bc Alex is a martyr).

Back to my original point that I’ve been trying to make, at the end of the episode when Michael comes to the bar to give Maria her necklace, she gracefully and firmly tells him that what happened can’t happen again bc Alex is her best friend. So now, we have Michael who is now fully aware that Alex came over to speak to Maria after seeing him with her necklace and whatever he had said to her, made Maria firmly say no to Michael about any possibility of them being together.

And now this is the literally the trickiest part that makes no sense bc Michael is a literal genius and it doesn’t take a genius or hell even a person with much logic to put together the fact that: Alex would only have gone to confront Maria if he still had feelings for Michael and wanted more - hence Maria closing the door on a possible relationship with Michael in that scene. It is so obvious that Alex’s actions are bc he is still in love with Michael and does want a relationship with him (not necessarily immediately but at some point). Maria closing the door on a possible relationship or hook up with Michael is simultaneously proof that Alex has not closed the door on a relationship with Michael and his feelings for Michael.

And irrespective of any insecurities or uncertainties Michael may have regarding Alex and his feelings, this scene is plain and simple Alex still having feelings for Michael and wanting something with him and contrary to what Carina says, this is what we’re undeniably shown here so unfortunately, if the writers and Carina are trying to tell us otherwise, they’re doing a pretty shitty job.

#alex manes #malex #roswell nm #rnm season 2 #michael x alex #roswell new mexico #tyler blackburn #michael guerin #my ramblings #carina adly mackenzie

[likeaflowingriver1019]

Afterthoughts about 🍌 🐟

So I finished watching banana fish and I will save this spot to write some personal reviews and opinions.

「時の中に閉じたバラは枯れずに咲き続ける　愛のひとひらは 胸の奥にしまっておこう　永遠の時に閉じて」

I first heard about this work on Tumblr when someone was talking about the so-called “holy gay trinity”, which includes YOI, BF and Jeweler Richard, so I kind of like “well it sounds like nothing to do during this summer break on the way to graduate program plus quarantine why not start some new stuff to get into”. Long story short I first know about YOI in 2016 but I stopped watching it in the middle of airing I didn’t know why. I picked it up and finished watching it. It was a great show and it is literally making history throughout the time. Then I started watching Jeweler Richard and that was very good too. Put in one word or icon to summarize those I would use the the art style of female directors at Takarazuka, for YOI I will take it as 小柳奈穂子-ish and for Jeweler Richard I will say it is very 植田景子-ish. I would probably talk about them in the new posts. Those are just very personal view and if you don’t know about Takarazuka and those female theater directors you will have no idea what I am talking about.

And after I finishing these two I started watching BF, which is my favorite among the three and I will give it totally 上田久美子-ish.

There is an important thing I want to say that episode 24 of BF was in air somehow around Dec. 21st and that is also the day of F. Scott Fitzgerald ‘s death. People won’t take this seriously but it really means something for me that 月組 also revived the show The Last Party - S. Fitzgerald's Last Day. It was played by 月城かなと as Fitzgerald, 海乃美月 as Zelda and 暁千星 as Hemingway. They mentioned 楽園のこちら側 (This Side of Paradise), 美しく呪われし者 (The Beautiful and Damned) and 夜はやさし (Tender in the Night) in the play, but regrettably no ワルツは私と (Save Me the Waltz). I will talk more about this work later.

You know there are many literature references regarding the works by Hemingway and Fitzgerald in the plot and the ending cards of each episode, and the day of the double-shoot is just a ... mental suffering.

It also reminds me of Sisi, the Empress of Austria, but I would like to call her エリザベート. This vibe starts with a realization that the way Ash and Sisi died somehow shares something in common as they are both stabbed by someone else (although Lao is intentionally but Lucheni was not). It is sad and very torturing for me think about this because Sisi is my favorite historical figure and a character in Musicals, no exceptions. Thinking about two favorite characters died in same way is a terrible but blessed experience, no matter how you understand it. In Sisi’s “I-want” song Ich Gehör Nur Mir there is line saying she wants to be a bird and fly to the sea, and you know that Eiji jumped over that wall in EP1 like a bird, so...there is nothing left for me to say.

I also want to add that I found 七海ひろき probably is a great fan of BF (and I am not surprised that she is) because in some photos of her 入待ち/出待ち she was taking a Tasche with contents related to BF on it or it is just an official goods but I don’t know. 壮一帆 also mentioned in her radio program when ポーの一族 was on stage performed by 花組 in 2018 that she see this work as her “bible”, and she also agrees that it would be fascinating if River Phoenix would be able to perform Ash in a real person adaptation of BF.

I did start to rewatch ポーの一族 as well as はいからさんが通る to get a little bit more sense of so-called 少女漫画. I found that together with BF these three are all categorized as 少女漫画, the differences between them are too much to list. Like many other people I questioned a lot why BF is also categorized in it because there are many things in it you won’t be able to see in other works in the same genre. But during my second watching of BF I somehow could get a glimpse that it is truly a 少女漫画. And I think the main issue is with the logic in the plot. Sometimes you don’t need a very sophisticated logics in the plot as you need in Desinated Survivor or Into the Night (yes they are my two favorite Netflix shows) . Thinking about はいからさんが通る, do we need so much reasons for 少尉 doing whatever he can to get 紅緒 out of trouble? So the twist is the same at here, although the relationship between Ash and Eiji is not simple as it between 少尉 and 紅緒, but might be as complicated (in a good way and needs effort to interpret) as Edgar and Alan? I put my words here because when Yut-Long wants Ash to give him the research materials about banana fish and go back to Golzine otherwise he will kill Eiji, Ash then go to Max and asked for the files (with his gun aiming at Max). Max almost doesn’t say nothing and gives it to him but he points out that Ash is doing this for Eiji. I think this part is kind of out of the logic because Max would not be so willing to give the files to him, and Ash did all those things only because of the threat that If he doesn’t do this Eiji will be killed by Yut-Long and Blanca. This is a completely 少女漫画 thing I would say, and it is not bad.

My favorite episode is definitely EP9 “Save Me the Waltz”, Save Me The Waltz is a novel written by Zelda, and this is the only literature work that has been mentioned in the ending cards that written by female writer. This is one reason and feminists like me love those small detailes that can inspire a lot of interpretations. Ash’s appearance in this episode is fabulous, and it is a classic actualization of カリスマ, as you might see in the 中詰 of EXICTER!! The moment when Arthur loosing the chain and Ash reaching for gun looks like an angel is forced falling to the ground, it is beautiful.

The discussion in episode 17 when Ash and Eiji heading to Long Island on the Ferry was amazing. I keep thinging of the song 彼女はエメラルド by DaizyStripper. I strongly recommend you to check it out. I would also want you to go over the album Born To Die by Lana Del Rey, especially Dark Paradise and Summertime Sadness. You may also want to try Old Money and Young And Beautiful. It is better for you to do this after finishing the whole season, but it’s completely up to you.

I also love how eng subtitles translate THAT line as “I am going prostituting”, which is much better than the Simplified Chinese version. 

I went to New York first time in my life in 2017, by that time I am not obsessed with anything related to this “greatest city in the world”. I also went to St. Petersburg and Moscow this year and that was my first time to visit Russia. My second visit to NYC was in 2018 when I was there for getting a visa to Germany. I went to Trinity Church for Alexander Hamilton, Elisabeth Schuyler and Angelica Schuyler (okay I know it is not a proper time to reveal this but I think lot about “everything is legal in New Jersey” for the episodes when Ash was in that psychiatric facility in NJ). In 2019 I was obsessed with another fandom which I choose not to tell at here but I want to visit Queens at least once in my life time.  Finally now in 2020 I am recalled back to this great city and observe more -- the lovely the disgusting things, as well as the summertime sadness.

From that Hamilton vibes I also want to say that Garden of Light makes me think of Who lives, Who dies, Who tells your story. It seems that BF brings in more ideas to the discussion about “what is legacy”, the question that never will be out of date. 

And...this is just a meme but how about THE PHANTOM OF THE NEW YORK PUBLIC LIBRARY??? 

「私の真の愛を受け止めて　いつもあなたが　音楽で私の心　包むように」

The song that immediately came to my mind after the ending of EP24 was the last number of musical Don Juan in Act 2, which is called Don Juan Est Mort. In Japanese version directed by 生田大和 and played by 望海風斗 this number has a lyric like “愛に呪われて愛に散った男 忘れない”, which impacted my heart with the insurmountable sorrow and sadness. I never feel drastically sad when I watch the ending of Don Juan, but this time I feel more than anything I have came up with when I do it. 

Please let me to share something personal at here:

Aslan means “dawn”. Ibe’s niece has 曉 as her name. I also have 晓 in my name. My mother chose this character for me because I was born at 7am in the morning. When I was reading Garden of Light I think there are so much feelings that I couldn’t express perfectly in words. I know I am strongly related to this story and I am so happy I get to know this amazing work. This is a epic I will never forget. 

[smuthuttpodcast]

Name/Handle/Alias

rlogarbagech1

About how long would you say you’ve been rooting for Reylo?

I tend to dive into things intensively, so while I knew there was an intriguing dynamic to Rey and Kylo's TFA interaction and I enjoyed what was teased in TLJ when it came out, I think it was a random wading into Reylo fanfic circa Aug 2019 that really got me into the fandom in a deep way. (Throwback to me thinking: eh maybe I'll give Reylo oneshots a try? And BOOM four months later I'm in a daze wondering how I've read like 80 fics, ended up in a writing discord - shoutout to The Writing Den! - and have five stories cooking in my head at one time.)

I like that the fandom takes what was on film in TLJ and expands the contours of that universe, stretching it into all sorts of configurations that somehow still made sense thematically for what Rey and Ben were going through. Whether that's in the context of warring lawyers (eversoreylo), Kyril Ren and Irena (voicedimplosives), archaeology Rey and Ben (disasterisms), a Harry met Sally AU (slipgoingunder), or Canadian politics (saint_heretical)... the creativity of the fandom and how it grapples with SW themes through all these different lenses of interpretation blows my mind. IMO it shows how SW's story themes can be individually interpreted, yet utterly universal.

What did you think of the way Rise of Skywalker handled Rey and Kylo’s relationship?

It felt like a backstep/retcon to what had happened in TLJ. I think CT and JJ wanted to make certain narrative choices but couldn't fully commit to them for whatever reasons, and the story suffered overall in a big way 'cus of that.

TRoS clearly went into the enemies -> lovers arc but leaned way too far into 'enemies', making the arc to 'lovers' within 2.5 hours way very weirdly paced, so it didn't feel like it was earned. The reaction of the audiences I was in for both screenings validated that. At the first screening, there was awkward laughter because it felt so left-field in the context of the film. In the second screening, the GA people I was watching it with felt 'this is really unnecessary' which I can understand because of the lack of buildup in TRoS to that moment.

Reylo in TLJ was at its best because there was time for it to breathe. I rewatch the force skype scenes often and the complete silence, the subtle acting, and the framing of those scenes, is so unusual and bold for a blockbuster at that level. There was also so much gorgeous subtext in what was going on, you could read into it what you liked, but there was definitely an attraction or a pull there for both characters.

You could tell that Adam and Daisy were delivering equally layered acting work in 9, but it was extremely rushed and weirdly edited. The ensemble could also have been a greek chorus for the audience/a bellwether for how we should be feeling towards Rey and Kylo in 9 but they didn't really utilise them that way and Palpatine ended up overshadowing the entire story as the big bad. The more interesting choice obviously was Kylo as the conflicted big bad and a redemption arc, but maybe Disney just isn't ok with that or was pushing for a different direction.

Overall, 9 made me wish we had more time to live in the push-pull dynamic between these two characters and the longing they have for each other despite all the odds, but luckily we have fanfic and art for that, which is why it's so great. Just a shame the film couldn't line those pieces up well enough for a satisfying landing.

Do you think the film understood why you, and other people, felt like Rey and Kylo had something together? Did it get their chemistry?

I'm sure they understood it on some surface level but CT was the wrong person to write that story imo. And JJ on some level disliked RJ's choices so he was trying to wind it back to the TFA dynamic which was more enemies-enemies with a subtext of them being compelled by each other, but not necessarily with a romantic resolution.

I think it's testament to the intelligence of the fandom that we saw the train tracks being laid in ep8 for a more interesting ending, just that whatever story-wrestling/behind the scenes drama/ego was going on at DLF meant nobody was able to actually able to execute that story with the justice it deserved. Locking out the story group also seems like a huge mistake and would've avoided a lot of the larger plot holes they seem to have ended up with, the dissatisfying Reylo arc in ep9 being just one symptom of it. 

What about the handling of Kylo’s redemption? Was it something you had to think through in your stories? 

How I envision Kylo/Ben's redemption and Rey's response to it is summarised by a lot of the fic that's already out there! And in the fanfic thread I've pinned on my Twitter. e.g. Starstuff by voicedimplosives, Morning by disasterisms, Astrometric Binaries by pontmercy44, Tactical Surrender by Trebia... there are a lot of ways it could have gone. A recent comic (08 Jan?) by Miss Bliss is also a great example and she distilled it down to 15 simple panels, not to say she simplified the ethics of the redemption arc of course.

The biggest effect that TRoS had on me as an aspiring creator/writer is because the film DIDN'T give me the redemption arc, I'm interested to explore how that looks like in fanfic. So maybe that will become a theme in my writing. Let's see!

I'm still laughing about how they yeeted Ben into the pit though. Can't believe those leaks were actually true. 

What did you think of where Rey landed at the end? There had been a lot of excitement around Star Wars having a female protagonist. Do you think she lived up to the promise of her character?

A lot of the discourse has already covered this but my take is: in TLJ Rey was the centre of the story, all of her actions were driving the plot and it was a female-centric story about incredible themes like self-discovery, belonging, loyalty, 'lightness', 'darkness', attraction, sexuality. And TLJ was very nuanced in presenting how Rey's role shaped the overall story, the symbolism in the film (all of which had meaning or at least tried to), and her clear growth through it.

With TRoS it felt like her needs took a backseat and were kind of ancillary to the action of what was happening. Or that she was a lot more of a passenger to the story. I guess that's how I would sum it up. If I think back to how TRoS ended I don't think there was a satisfactory character conclusion for ANY of them... and don't even get me started on how they did Rose completely dirty. 

There’s criticism of the movie that argues it’s akin to “fan fiction” and that is has too much fan service. As fans and fan-fiction writers, how do you react to that?

It doesn't actually bother me that much. I think it comes from a place of negative stereotyping and misunderstanding of what fandom is all about, especially for the Reylo community – because apparently believing in romance, redemption, and love is meaningless, simple, and weak.

The people that are in the fandom and know it well know that the fandom has a lot of diverse views in it, different perspectives, and some of the most startlingly intelligent and thoughtful people across the spectrum including creators, readers, analysts, community organisers etc.

The fact that there's a WHOLE ECOSYSTEM with fanfic and fan art and discord servers and gift exchanges and comedy memes and metas and all of this stuff just enhances my enjoyment of it overall. And it's an ecosystem that despite critics' attempts to dismiss it since 2015, continues to thrive.

I challenge those skeptics to look at some of the novel-length Reylo work on Ao3, the detailed sketches and concept art, the hours of thoughtful podcasting and REVIEWS OF FANFIC and say this community's not worthy of credit or attention. Even if you don't like Reylo, there's a discussion worth having about why people want to engage with it on a deep level and the transformative work that's come out of it.

We are doing this for free. Out of enjoyment and fun and discovering meaning. The level of artistry and engagement in this fandom is really astounding in that way.

I wish people would talk more about *that* side of the Reylo fandom rather than dismissing it as 'fluffy romance 50 shades in space y'all are rabid crazy' or whatever.

TLDR the question of whether Rey and Kylo have/had toxic and abusive dynamics is an interesting one to ask and we need to continue having the discussion, because from my POV it wasn't 100% clear cut from TFA, and it evolved in TLJ and in TRoS. BUT it should be situated in the context of the broader fandom and the range of views within it, + the many other interpretations of the Reylo relationship through fic and art, which The Atlantic's article missed. 

Are you still writing any Star Wars fanfic? Tell us about it! (Don't forget your Ao3 handle!)

I'm late to the game but am interested in writing SW fanfic as a way of exploring my own capacity to write and create, so yes! Did my first drabble in mid December and have a few ideas cooking, the first which looks like a two-chapter modern AU oneshot. Watch this space…

Thanks to rlogarbagech1!