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redstringraven · 1 year

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an excruciatingly long ramble about the ‘03 turtles and the enneagram 🐢💙 pt3

[ intro + disclaimers post ] [ pt 2 - raph ] [ pt 4 - don ] [ pt 5 - mikey ]

leo, 1 with a 2 wing

intro

to reiterate some things i said in raph’s post, where i believe raph starts the series at his lowest point, leo ends the series (in terms of this project) at his lowest point. leo seems to be in his healthiest state in seasons 1 and 2, which will be reflected in the security section of this post, and the first half of season 4 is when we see him at his worst. while i wish we’d gotten to see more of a ‘full arc’ for each of the boys, i’m glad we at least got to see it for one.

speaking of ‘one’ (haha, segue!), let’s take a quick look at a 1's basics. i’ll be following the same format i did for raph’s post, so feel free to revisit his should you need a refresher on terms.

bare basics of the 1

1s are one of the three compliant types (along with 2s and 6s), and they’re members of the gut triad (made of 8s, 9s and 1s).

i realized shortly after publishing raph’s post that i never explained what i meant by him being an 'assertive type', and it’s as i bring up leo that i realize i should have elaborated a bit. if you’re reading these as i publish them, it’s now been added in this section of raph’s post.

when i say that 1s are 'compliant types', i mean that they’re people who move toward others. they like to be of service to the people around them. this isn’t to say they’re blindly compliant in a literal sense to other people, more so that they feel the need to obey internalized rules, principles and other dictates they’ve learned in their childhoods.

as previously mentioned, members of the gut triad seek autonomy and they’re concerned with control of their environment and resistance. 8s externalize it, 9s forget it, and 1s internalize it.

a 1’s basic fear is of being ‘bad’; defective, evil, or corrupt

their basic desire is to be good, in balance, and virtuous; to have integrity

they believe they’ll be okay so long as what they do is right.

childhood take-aways

we return to the quote from master splinter at the start of things change (s1ep1):

“your path in life will not be an easy one. the outside world will not be a friendly place for you. you four are different in ways the surface dwellers would never understand. to survive, you must master these skills i teach you: the powers of stealth and secrecy. you must become kage, shadow warriors, and you must never be discovered by the outside world.”

i think it could go without saying that the turtles’ lives as kids had to’ve been chaotic from the word ‘go’.

you’ve got master splinter single-parenting four boys (all while dealing with his own grief and newfound human-level intelligence), having to hide from the rest of the city’s population, living in the sewers with limited resources, knowing that you’ve only got each other because the surface dwellers will never accept you, the reason you’re even learning ninjitsu is so that one day--should you ever be discovered--you’re capable of defending yourself, the list goes on.

additionally, in attack of the mousers (s1ep3) when master splinter states that april knowing they exist puts them in great danger, leo points out that she was in danger. raph then asks master splinter “yeah, aren’t you always teachin' us to try and do the right thing?”.

from this we learn that on top of teaching the boys ninjitsu, splinter is teaching them morals. you could argue that this is obvious since they’re aware of the concept of ‘honor’, but i think it’s important to distinguish that this is an unwarped version of ‘honor’ (karai is an example of that, but we’ll get to her). they’re not only being taught how to survive and protect themselves, but they're learning the differences in right and wrong in ways that extend beyond themselves and their own needs or goals. when it comes to leo and his 1 this is important to keep in mind.

in a similar way to 8s, 1s often grow up too quickly. young 1s might respond to chaotic conditions around them by becoming hyper-responsible or taking the place of the voice of reason in their families. they develop a sense of seriousness and adult responsibility at an early age. they understand that their parents (their ‘protective figure’) expect a lot from them, and it’s not uncommon for them to take on those expectations earnestly. this allows them to establish some sense of autonomy and boundaries--both of which are important to their type.

1s as children will often try to surpass what is expected of them by adhering to self-inflicted rules so rigorously that no one will be able to catch them in error. this will earn them their independence. they feel they have to come up with a better set of rules for themselves than that of their protective-figure, so they will be capable of deciding what is right or wrong.

leo seems to acknowledge his need not just for order in his profile, but also the need to make up for any ‘slack’ left by his brothers. he states that he’s not trying to be perfect, just ‘perfectly proficient’.

…leonardo, my love, i’m gonna give you a chance to hear yourself say that again. this isn’t only alliteration, it’s also synonymous.

leo can be seen practicing ninjitsu outside of ‘normal training’ at least once every season, something we rarely see his brothers doing (raph exercises, mikey will sometimes 'train' but it seems more like raph or a brother was looking for a sparring partner and mikey isn't taking it seriously, and don almost never trains in his free time).

in meet casey jones (s1ep4) he’s practicing his split-kick. at the start of city at war (s2ep14) he’s trying to do the whole… spinny-stab the target thing. he’s the one training at the start of the time scepter episodes (his episode being s3ep22), whereas his brothers are engaging in their individual interests. there are multiple examples to pull from in season four, but i think the example that speaks blatantly to the 1’s need to not just meet their expectations but to surpass them is found in the ancient one (s4ep14). he demands of master splinter “when are you going to teach me something i don’t already know”. this is, however, a bit complicated as it occurs when leo's in his most unhealthy state.

we've seen in flashbacks, specifically mikey's from tales of leo (s1ep19) that leo has always taken ninjitsu and his training seriously (and, we can assume, those lessons in morality and honor). he feels he needs to surpass splinter’s expectations, as well as pick up the ‘slack’ from his brothers. looking back to his official profile, he states "i must be there to compensate for their lack of focus".

i feel the need to quickly point out that don, mikey, and raph pursuing interests outside of ninjitsu is NOT "bad". through the mind of a 1, however, these 'distractions' might keep them from meeting what's expected of them. not being able to meet expectations is 'bad'.

1s need to be good. if no one else will do it, they step up to the plate. even if it's not what they want to do, they believe it's what they should do. what they need to do.

leo as a 1

1s can sometimes be nicknamed: ‘the perfectionist’, ‘the reformer’, ‘the idealist’, ‘the judge’, ‘the critic’, or ‘the motivator’.

an ‘average’ 1, in terms of mental and spiritual health, can be described as having a judging or comparing mind that is almost magnetically pulled to notice errors and imperfections. they struggle to accept that mistakes are inevitable, that perfection is an unreachable bar, and they fear the tyranny of their critical inner voice. because, and i cannot stress this enough, where Pinocchio might have had a nice little cricket as his voice of reason and consciousness, 1s have a critic that perches on their shoulder just beside their ear and points out every little thing ‘wrong’ around or with them. in attempting to create their own brand of perfection, they’ll cultivate their own hell instead.

1s believe that being strict with themselves and achieving self-discipline will justify themselves in the eyes of those around them, as well as in themselves (and you need to remember that word: justify). neatness and order are often comforting to 1s; it makes them feel safe and less anxious.

1s want to be good people. they always want to do ‘the right thing’. should a stranger on a stormy night board a bus and express need for warm food and shelter, any 1 aboard that bus would believe it was their responsibility to ensure that person received proper care and safety; it’s the correct, responsible thing to do, and we should all expect it of ourselves.

i always get profoundly sad whenever i see people harping on leo in the 03 series or saying that his personality is just ‘the leader’ or that he’s boring. 1s are more than capable of being goofy, sarcastic, and playful--and we see leo tap into this part of him several times throughout the series! but that inner critic, the voice in their head warning them not to be caught slipping up, can be deafening more often than not. due to the nature of the series, we only really get to see the turtles "in a situation", NOT during downtime. leo's 1 has to be engaged... someone has to be taking things seriously, after all.

it's also important to note that being responsible, doing what’s expected of them (be it the expectations of others or of themselves), is one of the ways that 1s say “I love you”. they may not vocalize this often, nor be the most physically affectionate, but a hug from a 1 comes in many other forms. you just have to pay attention. an example from one of my books is to imagine what may have happened in your neighborhood during a major storm. after it blew over, your house was the only one with power and heat because your parent, who is a 1, bought a back-up generator years earlier and regularly checked to make sure it was properly serviced and fueled. that’s a hug from a 1. they’ll keep track of your doctor’s appointments, they’ll find ways to make life work on a budget, do whatever they can to make the world a more comfortable and secure place for you.

returning to leo’s 03 profile, he states that he trains diligently and reads up on strategy to better prepare himself and his family for times of stress. since this is a way that 1s express their love, it’s no wonder that the events of exodus damaged leo as much as they did; him 'not being capable or prepared enough' keep his family safe means that he fell short in more ways than just skill or ability. what if they start to think he didn’t love them enough to do more?

leo’s relationship with karai throughout the series can really underline his 1 and his need to maintain his integrity as well as do what’s right. there are multiple instances where choosing to do nothing would have removed her from the chess board: letting her deal with the fallout of her plan in city at war (s2ep16), from saving her from falling to her death in be-jing (s3ep15) to going out of his way to save her in hun on the run (s3ep18) despite the protests of his brothers, to--once again--catching her from falling to her death in exodus part 2 (s3ep26).

karai even remarks in that episode of exodus that he’s “much too kind”. (you’re goddamn right he is, this boy has a fear of heights and you’re constantly falling from shit, yet he snatches you out of the air anyway even at the risk of his own safety tf).

1s with 2 wings are sometimes nicknamed ‘the advocates’. average-health 1s of this subtype are active and outgoing people. they are comfortable being alone, and do require a good deal of “down time” to recharge and think, they’re energized by engaging with others and refining their ideas. when on the healthier side of a 2, they can be quite extroverted, helpful and empathetic. under the influence of a 2, these 1s are more sensitive to the needs of those around them. on the low side of a 2, however, they can be more critical and controlling. they feel strongly that they need to make a difference and try to accomplish too many tasks in one day, and they can be much more fiery and action-oriented than 1w9s.

healthier 1w2s can blend their quest for ideals and higher principles with higher empathy and compassion for others. they’re genuinely interested in improving mankind and are more willing to get into the trenches to bring about the changes they seek. people of this subtype are persuasive and go out of their way to get others to care about the causes and beliefs they do.

i didn't do this with raph since don and mikey will serve as explanations for the thinking triad, but we don't have any turtles whose core type is on the feeling triad. since leo and don both have wings in the feeling triad, let's do just a little briefing here while we're on the subject of leo's 2 wing.

types in the feeling triad (2s, 3s, and 4s) are concerned with love of a 'false self' and their self-image. they seek attention and have issues with identity and hostility, and often times they struggle with an underlying feeling of shame. 2s focus outwardly on the feelings of others; they need to feel needed. leo may not have a 2 as a core number, but having a 2 wing means he's often influenced by that type.

stress & security numbers

leo’s stress number is 4; he'll begin to adopt negative traits associated with 4s when stressed or in an unhealthy state of mind.

that inner critic gets louder and louder, and the 1's desire to ‘fix’ the things around them goes into overdrive. they can become resentful toward those around them for having fun, become sensitive to criticism and will often become depressed. they may even begin to feel unlovable.

in times of heightened stress, 1s might not only lean into the 4’s habit of daydreams and fantasies, longing to be free from the things they consider their obligations and responsibilities, but their inner critic will ridicule them for it. they’ll begin to have profound feelings of guilt and shame, they'll garner an even deeper resolve to hold those desires at bay and deny themselves things that could bring them happiness and peace. they’ll begin to believe that no one understands them or sees how hard they’re working. they’ll grow moody, melancholic and withdrawn. all that discipline and self-control will collapse into frustrated feelings of envy and resentment. it could lead to emotional outbursts and hostility, and should they be questioned about it they’ll only become more self-conscious and self-controlled. when a 1 finally blows a valve, someone almost always gets burned.

some examples of leo’s 4 showing up are:

his frustration toward splinter at the beginning of the shredder strikes (s1ep10)

multiple expressions of hopelessness and sadness about getting home to master splinter throughout the space arc (s2ep1-4); raph is often the one assuring HIM

his nightmare throughout darkness within (s3ep14) and how it potentially, if you squint, ties into his apology to master splinter at the end of exodus (s3ep26) when he says he failed him; that nightmare came true

…do i even need to mention anything from the first half of season four, or do we just already know

leo’s security number is 7; in a healthier state of mind and spirit, he takes on the positive traits of a 7.

similarly to how don and raph have common ground beneath the surface, i think leo and mikey shake hands on that front as well. which just makes me all the more feral about mikey having leo’s back in the first half of season four. leo’s security number being a 7 means that mikey’s stress number is a 1. whether mikey knows it or not, i think this link helps him connect with leo easier than don and raph can (this isn’t so say they can’t, of course, just that it comes a little more natural for mikey).

as we’ll cover in mikey’s post, 7s are much more perceptive than people assume they are. mikey not only knew leo was struggling with the weight of his self-assigned responsibility, i think he understood it on a deeper level.

in a healthier state, the 1’s inner critic will get quieter. they become more self-accepting, fun, spontaneous, and willing to try new things. they’re more curious and optimistic, more able to relate to the perspectives of others. they learn to relax their guard, allowing themselves be affected by reality (to go with the flow) without needing to tense against it.

it’s as they learn to distinguish themselves from the voice of their inner critic that a 1 will begin to experience the qualities of a healthy 7: open-mindedness, curiosity, enthusiasm and joy. “there is a crack in everything; that’s how the light gets in”.

some examples of leo’s 7 coming to the surface are:

the “your reign of terror is OVER, stockman” in attack of the mousers (s1ep3)

telling a foot ninja they don’t take kindly to shop-lifters in a museum (s1ep6)

throwing a vehicle-chair at a triceraton whilst telling them they look tired and should have a seat (s2ep2)

giving raph fucking SPOONS for weapons (s2ep3)… the absolute mad lad, he really said “here lmfao” and gave his brother soup utensils to fight 8 foot dinosaurs. for the meme. an entire utility closet of potential weapons… and he gave the boy spoons. because he knew he’d be fine.

letting casey sweat while enemy GUNS were actively pointed at him in the golden puck (s2ep18) jesus christ

the rooftop race with raph in touch and go (s3ep8) and telling him to “step it up, sNAIL BOY”

leo’s 7 surfacing will never not make me violently affectionate toward him. every silly quip and one-liner and bad pun and terrible impression of professor honeycutt (s3ep5), like, bye, i need to sign the adoption papers immediately. it’s not easy for him. and i love that there’s almost always an awkward quality to it because he’s out of his element--he’s letting himself be… stupid. imperfect. lame, even. and, god, is it cute. i’m so endeared. i gotta lie down.

cardinal sins - 1 and anger

while the 1’s cardinal sin might be ‘wrath’ or ‘anger’, a truer word to their experiences is ‘resentment’.

their anger is directed both at themselves for failing to live up to their ideals and expectations as well as at others for what 1s see as laziness and irresponsibility. this could be anything from a classmate not pulling their weight on an assignment to someone 'breaking the rules' at a checkout line (this line is for ten items and under, you clearly have thirteen).

as 1s become less healthy, they begin to displace their anger onto others as they make themselves the only judge of who is right or wrong; they grow more irritable with others as they seem to be getting off the hook without consequence. they often will feel that those around them aren’t taking an equal share of the responsibility and seem to be having all the fun. but, unlike an 8 who chooses anger in place of what they're really feeling, 1s don't want you to know they're angry. because being angry is 'bad'.

where 8s externalize their anger and 9s try to forget it, 1s will hide theirs away beneath the surface, where it will begin to express itself to everyone around them in smoldering resentment.

anger is often a secondary emotion; it’s a way of resisting an attack on our integrity and--when fully experienced--it is instantaneous and short-lived. however, when we resist it or hang onto it, it cultivates into obsessive thinking, emotional constriction and physical tension. 1s, seeing anger as something ‘bad’, will experience their anger without identifying it as such. they’ll deny their anger, stating things like “i’m not angry, i’m just trying to get it right” or “i’m not mad, i just don’t understand”.

in short, leo would be that dad who tells you he’s not mad, he’s just disappointed. [everybody disliked that]

1s will also often try to find a cause or a reason in order to justify their anger; something they can fight but in a way that is ‘good’. that way their anger ‘makes sense’ and isn’t 'selfish', they’re angry for a good reason, and they have something to act on.

i think we get our first real glimpse of leo’s cardinal sin as early as the shredder strikes (s1ep10). master splinter tells him that if doesn't learn there is no 'superior weapon' and that ANY weapon can be deadly in the right hands, then he will have learned nothing. leo then goes topside to blow off steam. and while verbally expressing his frustration--sorry, i mean confusion, he's not MAD he just doesn't get why he's 'in trouble' when his skill is the best it's ever been--he slices up a pack of helpless newspapers who were just minding their own business.

resentment is described as “bitter indignation at having been treated unfairly”; in leo’s mind, he thinks master splinter is treating him unfairly. telling him that despite all his training and all the work he’s put into ninjitsu that if he doesn’t understand the value of a weapon is in its wielder he’s learned NOTHING. "master splinter just doesn’t understand how important these swords are to me!". that’s a bit of leo’s 4 showing through: no one gets it, no one understands me.

as we mentioned with raph, i’d like to also take a look at the other cardinal sins attached to leo’s core type. his 2 wing, stress 4 and security 7 would give him pride, envy, and gluttony respectively.

city at war

ah shit… here we go again.gif

we talked about the build up to city at war in raph’s post, so i don’t think we need to do that a second time here. both because… none of the facts and details of the timeline change with the shift in perspective, and because that history leading into the events of city at war don’t necessarily influence leo’s 1. the most important connection when it comes to leo is the fact that the major players in the city are in a turf war because the balance of power is now unstable.

leo’s seeing the effects this power struggle has on the city--and the innocent people living in it--and his 1 can’t help but draw a thick, red line from ‘we killed shredder’ to ‘we caused this and this is our fault’.

he tells master splinter that he’s confused in s2ep14; he thought things would change for the better after they defeated the shredder, but they seem to only be getting worse. he states “don’t ask me to explain how, but it feels like our fault”. and WHO understands what he’s talking about?? mikey. the other turtle with a 1 connected to his type; he's engaging with his stress number while raph leans fully into his 5.

leo decides to directly disobey master splinter, stating that he CAN’T do ‘nothing’. it wouldn’t be right to just shrug and turn a blind eye to this.

and i just have to point out… for pete’s fucking sake, boy’s about to throw himself into a building of foot ninja. ALONE. after just last season facing them and almost DYING because of it. he’s about to put himself through that trauma all over again--WILLINGLY--because he just... can’t shake this feeling that this whole thing is their fault. they have a direct connection to this domino effect as far as he's concerned, and it's his responsibility to fix it. SOMEONE has to.

we’ll never know if the turtles’ involvement up until karai’s appearance in new york actually did help or if it just added more fuel to the fire, but i think leo in a lot of ways would have been doomed to just keep digging his heels in and trying to 'help'. because as things would get worse, it would just solidify his worries even more.

we can’t even really determine if helping karai was the best move because her plan BASICALLY failed, and they only made it out of there alive because raph and master splinter showed up with the element of surprise. once again, there’s too many moving parts, too complicated of a situation to play the “what if” game, everyone was stupid and lucky. mikey’s not wrong when he says karai’s plan kinda stank.

…speaking of.

i guess we should talk about karai

yeah, you can’t really talk about 03 leo without acknowledging his relationship with karai. i’m not gonna dwell on this too much, because this post ain’t about her, but for full disclosure karai is one of those characters i very much want to like but… girl. stop it. get some help.

karai tests leo’s 1 in a lot of ways. we meet her, of course, in city at war (s2ep15). it’s kind of an unsettling return to the shredder strikes in an odd sense, as leo is once again given the offer to join forces with the foot (only with the illusion of grandeur swept away). this time around, it’s not only in the hopes of giving balance back to the city and its inhabitants, but also an olive branch between the foot and his own family. no revenge for the shredder's destruction.

because you know. he's totally dead. ...totally.

buuuuut. rogue in the house (s2ep19) happens. rest in peace, zog. the foot have very much NOT kept their word, as the boys intercept a fake master splinter meant to expose and destroy them from the inside. karai is tasked with killing the turtles herself as proof of her loyalty toward the shredder (and that warped sense of 'honor' meaning she's bound to serve him). and when confronted with this she even kind of blames leo for the position she's put in, stating she wished he wouldn't have come here [taylor swift's look what you made me do playing in the distance]. like... sweetheart, darling, gravy, we wouldn't be here if y'all hadn't offended our dad by trying to kill us with his likeness!

leo gives her the option to do the right thing and let him live, and she does. at the end of part two (s2ep20) she doesn’t report them having survived the ship sinking.

i can’t help but wonder if leo sees himself in karai (this is not me saying karai is a 1, mind you).

like, in the sense that ch’rell almost tricked him into joining the foot, ch’rell took her under his wing when she was young. only... she didn’t have a family to pull her out of the illusion and bring her back to reality. when you’re looking through rose-tinted glasses, all the red flags just look like flags. no one was there to help karai take hers off after ch’rell took her in. she still thinks she’s fighting that greater evil instead of realizing that she's fighting alongside that great evil.

and leo keeps getting glimpses that she knows something’s wrong. be it sparing his life and not reporting them in rogue in the house, thanking him at the end of hun on the run (s3ep18), or knowing that shredder’s actions are putting the citizens of be-jing in great danger (s3ep15), it’s clear she has SOME moral compass buried under everything ch’rell has taught her and lead her to believe.

the 1 in him can’t abandon her. it wouldn’t be the right thing to do to turn his back on her when there are still signs she can be helped. so he keeps extending her that hand. he keeps trying to get through to her and lower the bridge. until she finally burns it down, herself, when she tries to wipe out his family in scion of the shredder (s4ep15).

i know she gets a bit of a redemption arc in s5, but... as stated in my disclaimer post, the majority of my attention and weight is given to seasons 1-4. frankly, i feel the damage is done. karai’s doubled down, and leo’s resentment toward her--for allowing herself to become no different than ch’rell, for going back on her word personally (the shredder is gone and she's no longer 'honor-bound' to his orders) and trying to kill his family herself--is going to be a hard, hard thing to mend.

it's sad. i say that genuinely.

the first half of season four and… yeah

so back in raph’s post i listed some words to describe 8s at their healthiest and at their unhealthiest. let’s take a look at 1s.

1s, at their healthiest, can be described as accepting and wise. evaluating, reasonable, principled and responsible. but at their unhealthiest, they can become self-righteous and inflexible. obsessive and contradictory. condemnatory and punitive. the first half of season four is just a slow, painful spiral of watching leo becoming more and more withdrawn, more self-punishing, and more angry.

things start relatively ‘light’.

in cousin sid (s4ep1) through sons of the silent age (s4ep3), leo’s less angry and more just… distant and sad. this is like the calm before the storm. we see him disengaged a lot, not really paying attention to the conversation around him and often times staring at his own reflection. his 4’s habit of slipping into daydreams and wallowing in melancholy has him stewing over the events of exodus--replaying them again and again in his head as his inner critic scrambles to point out everything he did wrong and invent what he “should” have done. he even says this himself to april, that he can’t stop thinking about it. that no matter how he tries to rationalize or, quote, “JUSTIFY” it, he wasn’t good enough. remember what i said back in the earlier sections of this post? 1s feel the need to justify themselves in the eyes of those around them, as well as in themselves. leo can't find a way to do this with how exodus played out. he wasn't prepared enough. he wasn't good enough.

dragon’s brew (s4ep4) is where the calm ends and the storm begins. we start the episode off with casey confusing leo for raph. leo’s anger is starting to bubble, but his 1 doesn’t allow him to just sit there and be angry. because being angry is not ‘good’. so, we gotta do something with that anger in order to justify feeling it. …oh, look. there’s been a lot of crime lately. could be a new threat. don’t like that. …who can i snoop around with who won’t ask questions? who won’t try to get in my way if i get a little excessive with burning off this not-anger i feel?

casey.

problem is, like we mentioned earlier in the cardinal sin section, anger is only short-lived when you allow yourself to feel it and let it go. when you try to smother it--try to put it away and call it something else--it contorts into something worse. as master splinter said in s1ep4, “rage is a monster that will destroy you from within”.

… …foreshadowing is a literary device wh--

grudge match (s4ep6) is where the storm is here, and now there's resistance to it. like i said in raph’s post, this is where raph first confronts leo on his change in attitude, albeit master splinter interrupts this. at this point, mikey seems to be the only one connecting dots. like i’d said, his type having connection to a 1 might make understanding leo come more naturally to him than to raph or don or even master splinter.

we get, just… a great bit of dialogue here when looking at them from an enneagram lens.

leo: …no. like pushing yourself beyond your limits. to a place where there are no limits. to be so focused, so ready that nothing and no one will ever catch you off guard again! mikey: um. …we still talking about me, here?

this exchange is great for two key reasons:

(one) you’ll remember what i said in the childhood section of this post about 1s adhering to self-inflicted rules so rigorously that no one else will be able to catch them in error, and

(two) that mikey IMMEDIATELY realizes leo is projecting. he just doesn’t address it directly because that’s not how 7s operate with heavy or hard topics (we’ll get to that).

leo continues to either reframe or relabel his anger and obsessive training into something else during bad day (s4ep8). he describes it as ‘doing what he has to to keep this family safe’, despite that master splinter is giving him one hell of a side-eye and radiating sure, jan energy.

in dragons rising (s4ep10) the boiling point is on the horizon. leo lashes out at his brothers, verbally, reprimanding them for taking everything 'too lightly'. they only stopped HALF of the dragons. they need to stop treating ‘this’ like it’s all a game.

in samurai tourist (s4ep13), we get to see mikey once again being the most empathetic and understanding of leo’s current mindset, directly pointing out that leo often "picks up their slack" so they can do whatever they want. things are bad enough that master splinter has reached out to usagi as an effort to get through leo's walls. usagi almost… ALMOST gets through to him.

he’s been in something similar to leo’s position, understands and empathizes with the rationale of self-blame. for the first time, leo’s talking to someone he admires and looks up to who is ALSO on common ground with him. you could argue that master splinter should be able to fill this role, but if i may point out two things: not only is usagi more a peer than he is protector or mentor or parent, but splinter was also just a normal rat when he was unable to protect yoshi... i doubt leo would want to listen to that be given the same weight.

leo's even about to open up when they’re interrupted. that interruption leads into a fight with an assassin… a fight that, unfortunately, only seems to affirm how leo feels about needing to protect his family, needing to be ready at any and all times, and never being caught off guard again.

the valve finally bursts in the ancient one (s4ep14).

this is leo’s lowest moment in the series… and it’s a parallel to raph at his worst moment all the way back at the start of the series. leo loses control of his temper, and he lashes out, physically, at master splinter. his rage and resentment--be it with his brothers for “”treating this like a game”” or with himself for not “”being good enough”” or master splinter drawing attention to his anger, questioning it--is destroying him from the inside.

leo only begins to finally heal after he allows himself to not only feel all of that anger in its earnest, raw form, but also expresses it with every literal fiber of his being.

seeing his warped memory, interpretation, whatever you want to call it of the events of exodus is just… a lot. i don’t really have the vocabulary to articulate that experience, of having stewed over something for so long that you’ve rewritten events so pressure and expectations were placed on you that were never there to begin with. don, mikey, raph and master splinter never said any of those things in exodus, but at this point that’s how leo remembers it.

he not only fights the golem physically, but he’s verbally airing out that he did everything. there wasn’t anything else he could do, and the golem is WRONG in thinking that there was. and when he sees himself under the dirt and clay... it clicks.

in those last few moments of the episode, he acknowledges that he’s been obsessed, convinced he wasn’t good enough, that he was angry, and had become his own enemy. accepting the reality that he DID do everything he could and that it was enough, and flowing with it rather than bristling and tensing against it and punishing himself for it.

the scene ends with the ancient one telling him a story of when master yoshi, someone leo has respected and possibly idolized from splinter’s teachings, was also at a crossroads “not dissimilar to his own”. more assurance after usagi that he’s not alone in this, and even someone he holds in such high regard as yoshi has also struggled but found a way to be okay with imperfection.

he’s not hiding the cracks anymore. he’s looking at them. accepting them. and he’s letting the light shine through.

conclusion

as mentioned in part 1, the two books i referenced and heavily pulled from in the more enneagram-focused sections of this project (the parts where the enneagram itself is explained rather than how it applies to the turtles) were:

the wisdom of the enneagram by don richard riso & russ hudson

the road back to you by ian morgan cron & suzanne stabile

again, i don’t really know how to end this. i may not be a 1, but i have a 1 wing, so… while i don’t feel what leo feels to the same intensity, i get glimpses of it in smaller doses. it’s a lot of self-inflicted pressure, a lot of stress, and a lot of anxiety. i hope the next time someone catches themselves getting bored or irritated with the guy that this post opens a bit more empathy to him. kid’s doing his best, and a 1’s inner critic is relentless.

if i have anything more to add, i’ll include them in addendum posts and link them to this one.

we’ll be moving on over to don with the next post. if you made it all the way to the end of this post, thank you so much for reading/engaging with this wild project of mine and here: please have some brownies fresh outta the oven with a splash of vanilla ice cream, if you’d like. see you in the next one!

#tmnt 2003 #tmnt 2k3 #tmnt leo #tmnt leonardo #tmnt #;hannah's meta #;tmnt #;leonardo #;tmnt enneagram #[ i know i said raph's would probably be the longest but i might have lied... ]#[ anyway as i was revising the last paragraph of the final section the owl house finale epilogue music #started playing on my ambient music playlist and now i gotta go cry ]

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descendantofthesparrow · 11 months

Text

POYW Rewrite V2 - Harry Hook x reader - P15

The villains and their children stared as fireworks soared above Auradon, colorful sparks decorating the skies. Hook deepened his anger in rum, Gaston took his fury out on his house(his twin sons escaping his wrath as soon as he was seen on the block); EQ, Cruella, and Jafar all watched in thinly veiled disgust for their traitorous children-as music blasted and a party overtook Auradon prep-where King Ben was having his coronation party.

Teens danced and cheered as lights flashed, fireworks raining above them-setting the perfect scene for Ben’s coronation party. Speaking of Ben, he was currently being carried by the tourney team around the courtyard, laughing as they jostled him about-his smile brightening as he spotted Mal on the fountain stage next to you and Evie-the three girls laughing and twisting about to the music.

Mal; oh-oh yeah~ oh yeah yeah! Evie; let's set it off! Oh yeah! (y/n); you can make it happen!

All; ohayohay hey!

Ben was thrown onto the stage, twisting around with an almost shy grin, laughing as the students around him bowed-and he took a moment to mess with Chad’s hair-giving the boy a teasing grin as Chad looked at him-almost offended before he smiled, pushing Ben playfully.

Ben; kings and queens it’s our time to rise! Write the book; the story of our lives, this is us, taking back the night!

All; ohayohay!

He turned, seeing Mal making her way towards him and he held out his hand-the other behind his back, grinning as Mal took it and spun herself about to stand on his other side.

Mal; break the spell-we were born this way! Be yourself, forget the DNA! Everybody raise your hands and say~

All; ohayohay, hey!

Evie parted the crowd-stylish and proud as ever, strutting down the makeshift runway and dancing her heart out-grinning as Doug slid in to dance with her.

Evie; sound the alarm, get on your feet! Let’s set it off and rock this beat, dance till your heart is wild and free~

You couldn’t help but laugh/scream as Harry jumped up behind you, taking your hand and dancing you further onto the stage-his tailcoat abandoned-leaving just the waist coat-his sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

(y/n): feeling the power let it all out! Like what you see in the mirror-shout! We got the keys, the kingdoms ours~

You took Evie’s hand as she passed you, twirling her around as Harry laughed, meeting Mal and Ben in the middle and throwing your hands to the skies.

All; let’s set it off! Oh yeah! Start a chain reaction, and never let it stop! Let’s set it off-oh yeah yeah! You can make it happen; with everything you’ve got-let’s set it off!

Harry took your waist, pulling you up and over to his other side, his hands once again finding yours and bringing you close-all while laughing as you sang.

All; get ready, set it off! We bout to set it off! Get ready, set it off! ohayohay, hey!

The boys, Carlos, Gil, and Jay; all spotted Jane sitting alone-away from the party. She didn’t feel like she deserved to be there not after what she had done; not just at the coronation-but to the vks, for being so mean after they had practically welcomed her with open arms.

Carlos and Gil shared a smile and nodded, the three boys walking forward and sitting on each side of Jane, Jay behind them and taking Jane’s shoulders, smiling down at her. She jumped-surprised, her eyes locked onto Gil as he offered his hand, maybe they wouldn’t get back to how they were right away, but they didn’t have to be enemies.

Carlos; it’s time to set this thing off, let’s make it happen now! Gil; Imma make my own future, ignore all the rumors-show em how passion sounds! Carlos/Jay/Gil; they all told me I should back down, judgin’ me cause of my background; thinkin’ bout changin’ my path now-nah I ain’t going out like that now!

Gil grinned as he took Jane up the steps to join the rest of the party, laughing as Lonnie and Audrey came up to Jay and Carlos-whirling the two boys into the party with matching grins.

Audrey; feeling the power let it all out! Lonnie; like what you see in the mirror-shout! Jay; we’ve got the keys the kingdoms ours~! All; ooh, oh,oh! Evie; Whoa-ooh yeah!

The music blasted again, everyone dancing to their heart's content, you and Harry met up with Jane and Gil, laughing as you danced together.

All; let’s set it off! Oh yeah! Start a chain reaction and never let it stop! Let’s set it off! Oh yeah! You can make it happen; with everything you’ve got let’s set it off!

All; get ready, set it off! We bout to set it off! Get ready, set it off! We bout to set it off! Get ready, set it off! We bout to set it off! Get ready, set it off! Three, two, one-

The beat dropped and everyone danced together, Mal and Ben running off somewhere-almost kissing but not, Mal cheekily dodging Ben’s kiss and pushing him away-leaving the rest of you to party.

Mal; ooh-yeah!

Harry twirled you into his arms, your arms automatically going around his neck, smiling at you with that handsome side grin he always used.

Harry; let's set it off, oh yeah~

You grinned back, taking his hands and swinging them about-the party around you almost disappearing as you got lost in each other's eyes.

(y/n)/Harry; start a chain reaction, and never let it stop!

All; let’s set it off! Oh yeah! You can make it happen, with everything you’ve got, let’s set it off! Get ready, set it off! We bout to set it off! Get ready, set it off! We bout to set it off! Everyone turned to face Ben and Mal, bowing to their new king-long may he reign. Fireworks once again exploded in the sky, cutting through the music as everyone cheered and jumped around, Harry took you in his arms and spun you around, laughing into your ear as you scream/laughed.

He was free, free from his father, the isle, and evil expectations. He could be-whatever he wanted now, and with you by his side, he was sure he could do just about anything.

You took his face in your hands, bringing him close enough to press your forehead against his, laughing as his eyes closed and he took a deep breath, his whole body relaxing.

“Thank you,” Harry whispered and you grinned, brushing your thumb against his cheek. “Anything for you, Harry” you whispered back, letting him pull you close again, resting your chin on his shoulder.

You turned your gaze to the reader-who jumped in surprise, not expecting to be addressed-smirking a bit as they did. “you didn’t think this was the end of the story, did you?” you chuckled, winking and then pulling Harry back to dance as everyone cheered and music blasted-marking the beginning of a wonderful story.

-end of p15-

It’s short, I know, I’m sorry XD after so long since the last update, I’m sure yall wanted something more-but-really, other than an epilogue that explains a bit more of Shuffle playlist(which is the next book in this story, which no I will not be rewriting/revising), Rewrite revise is finished~ hope yall liked it and it flowed better than the version I wrote in 2020(?)

Epilogue soon(hopefully)! Uma will return in Shuffle playlist-Rewrite poyw

Permtaglist!

@queer-cosette @sephiralorange @lunanight2012

@daughter-of-the-stars11 @musicarose @rintheemolion

@random-thoughts-004 @anythingbutmar @dai-tsukki-desu

@imtryingthisout @remembered-license @thecaptainsgingersnap

@thetrueghostqueen @littlewierdalien @melonsmysteriousmonarchy

R!poyw v2 taglist!

@reallysparklychaos @tzurue @evilunicorns4minions

#disney descendants #harry hook descendants #harry hook x reader #part of your world #harry hook #rewrite #rewrite part of your world #rewrite revise #set it off #final chapter #epilouge is up next #and then im done revising rewite!#im still happy with the rest of the books #d1 was the only one i was like “i wanna rewrite it”#everything else is chill #epilouge will just expand on shuffle playlist #making Uma's emotions clearer and making Davy's bullshit clearer

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