#reckless application of spackle
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In my headcanon/theory of orcs:
Orcs are uniformly tone-deaf, no exceptions. But they do sing. It just doesn't sound so good to anyone who isn't tone-deaf.
(Melkor, if he noticed, appreciated the dissonance, but Sauron was Not A Fan.)
Also their sense of rhythm is fine and orcish drummers can get quite sophisticated.
Common subjects for orc songs:
Fear Us
We are doing a task [which isn't very interesting and this at least livens it up]
We are going to kill you and destroy everything you love and have fun doing it
A 'and then there were none' backwards-counting song of elf-princes, some verses inspired by real events
A prince of cats got his ass kicked by a girl and a dog, definitely not inspired by real events, honest, but also definitely not to be sung in Mordor
We've been marching a long time and it's annoying
The Sun is a bitch
I Fear Nothing Except The Sea Which Is Fucking Terrifying
My warg is the best warg, she's eaten lots of babies
Behold my gruesome trophies
My body is the most fucked up and uncomfortable but I make it work
There's Something In These Caves (It's A Dragon And Planning To Eat Us)
These Orders Indicate Our Senior Leadership Has Shit For Brains
I Wish I Was Back In Goblin-Town
Today Is A Terrible Day To Die But I Guess That's What We're Doing
#a tolkien tag#orc bank#lotr orcs#reckless application of spackle#edit: why did I start capitalizing halfway through?
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Reckless
I started this story towards the end of Season 11. Pretty dismal day around here today and finishing this was a result of that mood. It's by no means a happy story but it ends well, with love and the family moving on. This is a one shot.
“Wait at the top for me Georgie.” Lyndy called out as Phoenix pulled out ahead up the hill.
“I’ll wait Lyndy, don’t worry. Ease up Phoenix, Spackle’s not as big as you are.”
Spackle was Lyndy’s new Quarter Horse Pony, black and white in equal measure he was by all accounts a beautiful paint, the foal of two barrel racing champions that Casey found and bought for her 5th birthday.
“Whew, good boy Spack” Lyndy said stopping alongside Georgie and reaching down for the water bottle that bounced on Spackle’s saddle. “Here Georgie have some” she said after taking a sip.
“Getting used to riding him Lyndy ?”
“Oh yeah, Spack’s great, Grandma Casey said he can do barrels and poles soon.”
“She was very happy when she found him for you.”
“I love Grandma Casey and Grandpa Tim.”
“We all do sweetie, ready to go on ?”
“Let’s go a little faster Georgie.”
“Ok, ready to canter, no galloping yet Ok, I know he’s a pony but much bigger than Monty.”
“Ok Georgie and now TJ can ride Monty.”
“TJ can ride Monty with help, he’s still very young so you have to be careful when you help.”
By all accounts Lyndy was an amazing rider who not only had a natural seat but showed remarkable intuition in handling, transferring command to her legs easily as if she’d done if for way longer than her age would account for. She was also fearless of them and had at even this early age an affinity, a gift or specialness with them.
“Poppa’s teaching him, every day, I help sometimes.”
“He loves being on a horse just like you.”
“There’s our new house Georgie, it’s almost ready.”
“Moving in a couple weeks, are you excited ?”
“Yup, Momma said we can just walk over to visit now, or ride my bike and soon Spack on my own.”
“Not before your folks say it’s Ok Lyndy.”
“Oh sure I know that.”
It had taken longer than they had thought to get the house done but it was. Everyone chipped in their time in helping the contractor get done. The interior was quickly being finished and as far as Georgie knew the appliances would be transferred from the loft to the house during the week to be hooked up. Almost there. Jack and Mitch had cut the road to join the house with the main entrance to Heartland. It wouldn’t be that much of an extra chore this way to include the new house in snow clearing, a huge concern come Winter.
“Looks like GG and Grandma are walking over to help.”
Jack and Lisa saw Georgie and Lyndy come over the rise and set out to meet them at the barn.
“She rides just like Amy did.” Jack said watching the two make there way slowly towards the barn.
“She loves that horse, I still can’t believe what Casey paid for him.”
“Not all that much considering that horse’s pedigree Lis, the foal of two national champions.”
“Well I’ve never seen a more handsome paint Jack, that’s for sure.”
“And the perfect size for her.”
“Hi Grandma, Hi GG” Lyndy called out waving.
The watched as Lyndy stopped Spackle and patted his neck. “Good boy Spackle, now stand Spackle” she said as she pulled her leg over and dropped smoothly to the ground. “What a good boy” she said reaching into her pocket for a treat.
“Can you help with my saddle GG ?”
“I sure can sweetheart.”
“And I’ll help you brush him out Lyndy.”
“Thanks Grandma.”
One of the things Amy and Ty had insisted on was that the tradition of calling Lisa by her first name was not going to happen with their kids. The family strove to make sure this came about. Rather than anything elaborate they decided that Grandma would be fine and both Lisa and Jack were more than fine with that. When TJ came along that tradition was continued. As a matter of fact around the homestead Casey was also Grandma and they sorted it out between them. Both Lisa and Casey were perfectly fine carrying the same name. Jack was still GG across the board.
“Where’s Momma and Poppa and TJ ?” Lyndy asked helping Jack wipe down her saddle before moving on to Spackle.
“Poppa is with Grandma Casey and Grandpa at the rodeo grounds looking at horses and Momma is in town with TJ. They’ll be here for dinner.”
“Soon we’ll be right over the hill GG and we can see each other all the time.”
“We sure can sweetheart and we can go riding after school.”
“When is school GG ?”
“Kindergarten starts in September sweetheart, a couple months away, we have all summer first.”
“Is Poppa going away in the summer ?”
“I don’t know if anything’s settled yet Lyndy, we just have to wait but he won’t be gone too long.”
“I know, momma misses him when he goes.”
“Not you ?”
“Me too.”
“Well you both love your Poppa so that’s understandable. It’s Ok to be a little sad sometimes.”
A light rain had started when they were in the barn and after stalling Spackle and Phoenix they walked over to the ranch house where they settled in the living room at a small fire Jack set to chase away the rainy chill. Georgie excused herself to work on college applications. She was applying for the same 7 year Vet Program that Ty and Cassandra had attended. It certainly wasn’t a lock but with Scott and Cass’s recommendation and her work with the nature preserve and the clinic along with her grades which had been good she was hopeful.
Lisa sat with Lyndy and read a book with her, Lyndy had been getting better and was making and sounding out more and more words. Jack sat reading the latest copy of Alberta Angler when they heard the familiar chirp of a truck passing the front gate. A new security feature they had installed since the ranch had been invaded a few years earlier.
Jack walked over and out onto the porch and welcomed Tim and Casey.
“I thought Caleb was with you, we need to talk about the appliances getting moved.”
“We rented a reach fork truck, nice and easy Jack, I think Wednesday.”
“The rest of the loft is empty ?”
“All empty except the built ins and the appliances which are all disconnected. We’ll lower them down to the hay truck, drive both to the house and haul them in. Caleb’s picking up Cass and the baby and they’ll be here soon. The vet truck Cass uses is in the shop for shocks.”
“Come on in, and warm up a little” Jack said holding the door for Tim and getting a hug from Casey.
Lyndy came over to hug Casey and Tim when they sat and soon Lisa was in the kitchen getting ready to start dinner and Casey was sitting and continuing with Lyndy’s reading. When the book was done Lyndy sat with Lisa’s iPad and watched her favorite show Equus, Story of the Horse that had come out a couple years earlier. She loved watching the horses and listening to the story of how they came to Canada and about all the different kinds of horses in the world.
As dinner came closer the gate alarm chirped again and Casey glanced up to see the large burgundy pickup pulling up to the house.
“Lyndy, momma and poppa are here.” Casey called into the living room.
“GG save my place please” Lyndy asked and Jack took the iPad and shut everything down.
Lyndy wandered into the kitchen just as the door opened and Cass walked in carrying a weepy little boy.
“Oh what’s wrong ?” Lisa sang gently.
“He’s cutting a second molar, he’s miserable, you have one of those big frozen teething rings on the freezer door Lisa ?”
“Sure do, a couple actually, here you go TJ” Lisa crooned offering the ring by placing it gently agains TJ’s hand. He took it instantly and Lisa watched it go straight into his mouth.
“Let me take him Cass” Lisa said sitting down.
“Here TJ, go to Grandma and momma will get some medicine.” Cass said after kissing his head gently and walking over to the corner cabinet to extract a bottle of liquid Tylenol.
“What’s wrong with TJ momma ?”
“New tooth sweetheart, he’ll be fine” Cass said measuring out a dose and handing it to Casey. She leaned over a second later and wrapped her arms around Lyndy lifting her onto her lap as she sat.
“Georgie took me riding.”
“I’m so glad sweetheart, how’s Spackle ?”
“Perfect.”
“There’s my favorite girl” Caleb said walking in.
Lyndy broke free and ran over to get scooped up by Caleb who peppered her with kisses making her giggle.
“I saw the house today Poppa.”
“Did you see your room ?”
Lyndy nodded and smiled “did you buy horses ?”
“We did buy a few promising quarters.”
“Oh boy, I love new horses.”
“I know but you remember the rules ?”
“No going near the new horses until you say so.”
“Good girl.”
“What news of the move Caleb ?”
“Picking up the truck Friday at 5:00 Tim, we’ll move Saturday, all hands on deck and move in. We’ll move and install the appliances Wednesday.”
“Outstanding, I can’t believe that’s finally ending.” Lisa said.
“Me too, I want to live at Heartland in my new room.” Lyndy said smiling.
“We’ve all been waiting for that sweetheart” Jack said coming in.
He leaned over and kissed TJ. Cassandra stood to hug him which always took him back and made him smile. She amazed him, her love for Lyndy was without bounds and she poured love on her children. Amy and Ty had chosen these two well. Caleb and Lyndy were also a loving couple and Lyndy though Caleb walked on water.
Wednesday morning Caleb rode up to the barn where he saw Jack, Tim and the transport waiting.
“Sorry, I had to drop Lyndy and TJ’s still suffering with that tooth.”
“It’s fine Caleb, I was just going to go up and pull the French doors.”
“Stay Tim, I’ll do it, you two should stay.”
“I’m fine Caleb.”
“I can’t see that Tim, sorry, I’ve got it, you help down here.”
“Let it go Tim, you don’t have anything to prove.” Jacks said softly.
“Go ahead Caleb, thanks.”
Caleb nodded and headed upstairs. He took a deep breath before looking over, it had all been cleaned but he couldn’t see it that way.
Jack’s mind floated back to that day as he waited. They’d never really know what happened. They had an idea but no proof and no solid evidence of anything. After the loft had been ransacked apparently Ty became involved in something he never should have handled on his own.
Ty was found by Jim and his deputy, he was shot twice in the stomach and lay alongside his truck on an isolated road just past a cutoff bridge Lou had directed him to. He didn’t last long enough for the ambulance to arrive and was pronounced DOA after 5 minutes. His last word, the only one he uttered was “Amy.” Jim had no idea when Ty had been shot but it took him about thirty minutes to reach the spot from when the call came in.
Jack answered the house phone and listened to Jim before heading into the bedroom and grabbing his rifle.
He ran out onto the porch and saw Ty’s truck that Amy had taken to the supermarket parked by the barn and ran towards it. Lisa ran out of the house then followed by Lou who held Lyndy.
“Stay with Lyndy Lou” Lisa called back following behind Jack. She stopped dead in her tracks when she heard Jack’s cry of anguish and turned as Jim’s Sheriff car sped down the road with sirens and lights flashing and pulling up to the barn. He asked Lisa to strand back and turned gun raised to the staircase up to the loft where he saw Jack sitting, both hands bloody.
Jim rushed past him and found what Jack had found. Amy lay next to the dining room table, her head in a pool of blood and lifeless. It looked as if she had been struck on the right side of her face and knocked down with her head smacking against the oak table on the way to the ground.
20 minutes later both scenes, by the bridge and the entire ranch was closed as a crime scene. Jim immediately called the RCMP as his department did not have the resources to handle a double murder. It took weeks to come close to any kind of spotty story line. They knew about the pouch from Mongolia and the flash drive. Both Ty and Amy’s computers were gone as was their phones and the back up hard drive they had. Although the perpetrator had attempted to erase their cloud accounts the RCMP was able to get Ty’s phone records and a copy of the file of names and numbers that they discovered.
The phone that the perpetrator apparently used was a throw away purchased for cash. They traced what names they could from the list and passed what they couldn’t to several international agencies. As near as they could discover they knew who probably was responsible. The same poacher or gang of poachers Ty had dealt with in Mongolia. Unfortunately the Mongolian authorities proved useless. The suspect Daniel Schurer a German national who had been living in Mongolia for years was untouchable. He claimed he had never left Mongolia and there was no record of him doing it. Further, he had several witnesses who could swear to his being in the Gobi at the exact time the attacks were taking place in Canada. Everyone on the list claimed ignorance and had no idea why they were part of it. Although several names showed up as names to watch or some that were known to several international animal protection services as traders they could piece nothing solid together and there was no physical evidence. They had found two abandoned trucks just out of town a couple days after, they had been stolen in Vancouver and the plates from Calgary Int’l airport. Both vehicles were freshly washed and cleaned, there were no useable fingerprints.
Caleb and Cassandra had immediately stepped forward to care for Lyndy in the sad days that followed. The family was lost and bereft of spirit. Over time as all things do they moved on. Emptied the loft and did what they could to stand with Caleb and Cass. Scott stepped up and made Cass a partner, accruing to her the time Ty spent and that she spent filling in for him. It was the least he could do. It took over a year for the insurance companies to pay out the life insurance policies as they needed written guarantees from police authorities that Ty or Amy weren’t privy to the crime. Ty and Amy’s assets were written over in Lyndy’s name and the insurance policy money directed to Cass and Caleb. They set up a college fund and when Jack informed them that he planned on Lyndy having the land originally promised to Amy and Ty, the O’dells decided that rather than buy a ranch over time they would build on the land and join Heartland.
Cass announced she was pregnant at Lyndy’s third birthday party and when born they named their son Tyler Jackson, TJ in memory of their friend. Amy had always wanted to name a son Jackson.
Caleb and Jack started a stock company and began trading in horses to make up for the work Amy would do. Georgie did what she could to help but started at UC soon after.
They sat to a large family dinner in the new home on Sunday evening. Casey and Lisa had helped Cass prepare. As they all sat Caleb looked out over the family and begged for quiet. He then asked for a moment of silent reflection for friends and loved ones before grabbing the platter of chicken and passing it around.
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Which would be the best/worst idea?
(Leaving out Geese, because I've already done those and I suspect geese have an unfair advantage in polls.) (Also left out the completely flightless options — penguins, ostriches, cassowaries — because of the sky connection, but they do say all birds, so maybe they should be included…)
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I feel like you kind of have to conclude that just like Tolkien elves' bodies don't wear down, their teeth don't wear down.
What if an adult loses a tooth? Does another one grow or are they out of luck/in need of false teeth unless/until they get reembodied?
What about damaged teeth? Can they heal in ways human teeth can't? Do they fall out and get replaced?
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Discovered today that "Mandos in the early writings had a hound, Gorgumoth".
It's not glossed at all and is from early writings, but according to Neo-Sindarin vocabulary list…
gor -> "horror, dread, fear" or "to warn" or "hard, difficult"
gu -> "(together) with" [neologism based on phonetic evolution, but, whatever]
moth -> "dusk"
What I am getting from this is Námo named his dog "Dread-and-dusk". Based on what I understand to be conventional wisdom, a dog with such an ominous name is likely to be a total sweetheart [at least in a grooming or veterinary setting].
I therefore conclude that the reason Gorgumoth is not mentioned in other accounts of Mandos is that Gorgumoth turned out to be inadequate as a guard dog, was fired, and is probably asking for pets somewhere. Maybe he or she lives with Nienna now. Possibly under a different name.
[*Obviously I know the actual reason is Tolkien was moving away from the paganesque versions of the Valar, but this is more fun, so.]
Edit: I think the Quenya equivalents would probably be umbë, yó, lómë, so… Umbilómë, maybe? Haven't checked the phonetics.
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A question for your spackle tag: why do you think Feanor & Co had so much difficulty finding a reasonably safe exit route from Aman when Feanor had ostensibly spent years planning to... leave Aman? Why would the transportation issue have been overlooked for so long?
Hmmm. It does seem unlikely that he never ever thought about it. Some possibilities:
It never occurred to him the Teleri might not help — they're the ones with close kin back in Middle-earth. (Also never occurred to him that no one knew for sure that the swan-ships were capable of making the trip.)
He had plans to build his own equal or superior ships, but was in more of a hurry than expected.
Or it turned out to be a longer process than he was assuming.
He tried to build his own equal or superior ships, but they turned out not to be equal or superior, and he hadn't come up with a new plan before the situation turned urgent. (I read a crack fic once which had Fëanor designing and building a massive ship but overlooking some things and I think ending up blocking the Calacirya with [Quenya for 'ever given'].)
He knew there was an ice bridge in the north, and without checking it out assumed it was more bridge and less death trap.
He did check out the Ice a while back, decided he'd be able to handle the trip, and failed to consider that other people can't always handle what he can handle.
I think any of these is plausible? I would probably tend towards some combination of 2/3/4.
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On the one hand every description of or allusion to Tirion we have suggests something elegant and architecturally unified. On the other hand we're talking about Noldor here. More than that, we're talking about Noldor over a very long time span, at the start of which they'd suddenly been handed a whole slew of new building methods they didn't have before. I have a hard time imagining no one got overenthusiastic in a way that might come across as ungainly or silly to future observers.
But that doesn't mean it couldn't be elegant and architecturally unified. Maybe Finwë's vision overrode everything. Maybe buildings are regularly taken down and rebuilt to match new themes?
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A question raised by elves, once that I don't have an answer to is: what did Mandos do with all the goblin-men killed in infancy, who are owed a Choice but can't make one?
The expedient thing would be to shuffle them on out of the world, with the justification that clearly there's nothing here for them, but is Mandos authorized to do that? Does he have to re-embody them so they can age enough to choose? Does he have to find foster parents? Does someone else have to find foster parents?
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Revised list of possible Cuiviénen causes of death not related to Melkor
1. Natural disasters
--1a. Wildfires
--1b. Flash floods
--1c. Non-flash floods
--1d. Landslides
--1e. Earthquakes
--1f. Volcanoes, tornadoes, blizzards, hurricanes — seems unlikely
2. Falls
--2a. From trees
--2b. From structures
--2c. From terrain
--2d. Did not fall far, just fell wrong
3. Something fell on them [other than during a major landslide or earthquake]
--3a. Trees
--3b. Structures
--3c. Terrain
4. Fire [other than major wildfire]
--4a. Structural fire
--4b. Localized out-of-control fire
--4c. Burns from controlled fire
--4d. Smoke inhalation from controlled fire
5. Water [other than major floods/flash floods]
--5a. Drowning in calm water
--5b. Drowning in rapids, caves, other hazards
--5c. Drowning in ocean
--5d. Non-drowning death from rough waters
6. Animals
--6a. Preyed upon
--6b. Gored/trampled/etc while hunting
--6c. Did not sufficiently respect (e.g. pet the buffalo, play with the bear cub, pick up the adder)
7. Eating problem
--7a. Poisonous plants
--7b. Poisonous fungi
--7c. Choking
--7d. Starvation (seems unlikely)
8. Other natural world risks
--8a. Struck by lightning
--8b. Lost in cave
--8c. Hot springs too hot
9. Accidents with tools
--9a. Hunting accidents (weapon hits wrong thing)
--9b. Crafting accidents (missed the project and hit yourself, or a kiln explodes, maybe)
10. Complications of someone else dying
--10a. Spouse
--10b. Anyone else
Oh, and I suppose we should include:
11. Non-accidental homicide or violent suicide
Opinions on which of these was most common?
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Meet the Rivers of Beleriand!
After some recuperation time following their ordeals, they've put on fána and come to Aman to meet old friends and seek new homes in the Blessed Realm! They're waiting on some decisions of the Valar at Mahanaxar, but after someone accidentally washed out a road after a slap-fight with Eönwë on the Sauron subject in the meantime they are staying at the Palace of Ingwë in Valmar! Why Ingwë agreed with the Valar that the flooding would be less of an issue there is a fascinating question Queen Ilwen would love an answer to.
Meet the Rivers! (Interviewer: Ingwion Ingsuilo Ingwion, Fourth Prince of the Vanyar)
[Part One: Adurant, Esgalduin, Nenning]
Adurant
Of the Seven Rivers of Ossiriand and Dor Firn-i-Guinar
Tributary of great Gelion
Likes: Trees, pereldar, music
Dislikes: Orcs, getting pulled into the Sea when the subcontinent collapses even though your spring in the mountains is actually still there
Who are you most hoping to meet in Aman? "Dior! And Denethor — of the Nandor — I'd like to see him again, but Dior was my baby. —The other Ingwion said he'd sent for him. I hope he gets here soon."
What are you looking for in your new location? "I'm not sure! Somewhere with Dior or my Laegrim would be nice, but! I think I am uniquely qualified to be somewhere around Mandos!"
Would you like to say anything about the fána you chose? "It's reminiscent of a few of my favorite people, but I'm not making a statement. But I do think I'm doing better than average at not dripping on your nice carpets!"
What else would you like people to know about you? "Um, I'm not sure how much else there is to say about me! I was pretty lucky, all told — well, all of us in Ossiriand were lucky, and I was luckiest. My people got a lot of raids later on but it didn't touch me. I really could have stayed in Middle-earth, but… obviously things didn't turn out that way."
Esgalduin
Of Doriath, born of the Shadowy Spring
Tributary of great Sirion
Likes: Beeches, Holly, Grey-elves, Melian
Dislikes: Naugrim, Kinslayers, Men Invaders, dragons, spiders
Who are you most hoping to meet in Aman? "Melian most of all. We were close friends, I've missed her a lot. Also Elu, young Dior and Nimloth — Elmo and Galadhon — I have many, many people here. But I meant to go see Melian in Lórien immediately, except there were reportedly concerns about the roads."
What are you looking for in your new location? "I would like to dwell with my Grey-Elves — ideally with Elu and Melian as their King and Queen. If Melian needs me more than the Grey-Elves and means to stay in Lórien that is also an option, but I would hope she can anticipate Elu's return."
Would you like to say anything about the fána you chose? "It's modeled on Melian's fána, yes, except for the hair."
What else would you like people to know about you? "I have a tributary you won't hear much about — they fall from the mountains directly into Nan Dungortheb, and it… went badly for them, from quite early on. Their proper name is Nenbrass, though I'm afraid my people often said Esgalfuin. They have… some resentments. I'm hoping people will be understanding."
Nenning
Of Eglarest in the Falas
Likes: the Sea, Falathrim, ships, Noldor
Dislikes: Orcs, erosion, poison
Who are you most hoping to meet in Aman? "Many of my people are here, of course. And Brithon and I are both very curious about these Western Lindar. Though if I meet any individuals who objected to sending aid we will have words."
What are you looking for in your new location? "East of the Pelóri and directly into the Sea, definitely, though that may end up with less length than I'd prefer. I understand my people here have a settlement of their own, and either Brithon or I will pass by there. The other of us might go by this Swanhaven."
Would you like to say anything about the fána you chose? "I don't think there's much to say."
What else would you like people to know about you? "We were overrun and used as roads to attack our people. It was… distressing. But after we had nothing left to protect, when things continued to worsen — both of us, eventually, consigned ourselves to the Sea, and after that it was over. That wasn't a route available to to tributaries, and Sirion… wouldn't. —Also I apologize for the water. It should be less brackish now."
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I firmly believe that even before Melkor found the elves, there were deaths — you cannot convince me that no unwitting elves ever picked up a bear cub, or discovered the Cuiviénen Strid, or made a tiny little mistake cave-diving, or trusted the wrong tree branch, or wanted a closer look at lightning.
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Elves and cats
I don't think elves and cats are mentioned at all presumably due to Tolkien's evident biases.
Possibilities (some of them overlapping):
Elves at Cuiviénen may or may not have had food stores of the sort that attract rodents and thus lead cats to volunteer for domestication.
Or domestic cats may have just been there, ready to adopt.
Cats are great hunters — would Oromë have some? Or do the Valar share Tolkien's biases are they too murdery or something?
It wouldn't surprise me if authorial intent was for elves not to have cats because they're sneaky/sinister/murdery, but screw that.
I'm pretty sure dwarves have cats.
If the elves didn't have cats before, the dwarves probably introduced them: 'If you're going to live in a cave system you are going to want some cats in there with you.'
Humans probably also had cats, though I'm not sure how migrating to Beleriand with them would have gone.
So if there weren't cats at Cuiviénen or associated with the Valar, they probably showed up in Aman with post-War-of-Wrath refugees.
…Possibly resulting in outdoor-cat discourse???
Or maybe cats that have been in Aman for generations become less murdery?
I kind of like the idea of elves getting cats from dwarves…
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Not sure if I'm going to adopt this as my headcanon, but it does fit pretty well with the Valar's 'make a mistake->severely overcorrect' pattern, so anyway:
Over the course of the Time of the Trees, various elves who died in Middle-earth are reembodied in Aman — those who died before the first sundering, or on the journey, or among the Avari, or Nandor, or Sindar.
Some of them want to go join the Amanyar (most of those who died on the Journey, I expect). Some of them don't want to join the Amanyar for whatever reason, but want to make their own homes elsewhere in Aman which makes them also Amanyar but never mind that.
But some of them don't. Some of them want to go back to Middle-earth. And the Valar are like "welp, guess we probably should put them back?"
So they come up with some way to send them back — and something terrible happens to all of them.
Not sure what. Maybe there used to be a more passable land bridge in place of the Helcaraxë, and the departing elves walked off it into Sauron's open arms? Maybe they got ferried safely somewhere farther south but then there was a freak natural disaster? Some spawn of Ungoliant hitched a ride with however they were being moved and they were overrun with spiders?
Just something happens that puts them all right back in Mandos or worse. And these were elves that were from Middle-earth to begin with, who were accustomed to its dangers, and still!
After that, how could the Valar ever agree to let the Noldor leave?
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