sorry to give a voice to my insecurities today but im putting it under the cut at least but. detrans stuff
i have a lot of facial hair its not thick enough to be a full beard or goatee or anything but i grow a lot on my chin and neck and it also gets pretty long since i don’t shave and i know feeling bad about it is pointless since i dont shave and don’t plan to do any permanent hair removal kind of thing like i’ll always have it so feeling bad is pointless but its hard not to since i know its one of the first things other people notice about me and idk. ugh
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me trying not to self destruct existing in a world where people romanticize self destruction everyday
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despondent and typing into “why do I act so crazy” and the first result is bipolar and I rember.
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And I literally don't have any friends or family who would give a fuck. So, there's that. And even if I managed to find a job, car, and managed to move out, I have pets. So it would be impossible to find a place to rent.
So guess I'll just die.
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so we had shooter drills in high school, the usual stuff for kids in the u.s. it was a mix of the class clowns running gallows humor and the more ‘mature’ kids just following the process so we could get back to class. didn’t really feel like i was being “prepared” for anything compared to a fire drill since the latter is way easier to manage (just walk away lol) but we’ve had neither fires nor shooters in our school before, so why worry
only time i was genuinely worried (not necessarily scared/panicking, but concerned for my life) was when there was like a “don’t come to school tomorow” post on a classmate’s snapchat story and then the fire alarm was pulled next day. nothing happened thank goodness, but i was definitely more hyperaware of my surroundings and clutching my phone hard while everyone was walking out the building. i think the next day, i set up a text-replace shortcut on my phone for when i have to quickly text loved ones in case i’m in an active shooting. still have it today! gotta make sure i go out saying what i need to say if it comes to that
i don’t really have much else to say to make some kind of conclusion that fixes everything (like there’s enough “thoughts and prayers” out there and u should assume my heart goes out to the victims like everyone else), just wanted 2 share an anecdote
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Did you know next friday may 6th they’re putting out a little video of indev Iimbus company gameplay. I did. Personally i hope gregor doesn’t show up at all. I hope gregor has been removed from the game
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just a silly guy trying to make ends meet .
ditto , he / him , 25+ & latino ⸺ nice to meet you !
due to workload , comms are closed until further notice !
CARRD // K0-FI
thank you for your support !
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was looking for a document on my computer and found a file called THEBEAST.png and was like. wtf is the beast. and it was THIS
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