#rabexxpaulson

[imagines-ahs]

Chapter Forty-Eight: Bisque.

Summary: Wilhemina Venable felt it was finally time to leave Kineros Robotics and get a job with people who weren’t such morons like Jeff and Mutt. What she didn’t expect, however, was for her new boss to be so damn insufferable. She didn’t expect to fall in love with her, either.

Tag List: @mayfair-fleur @mistysswampmud @paulsonsratched @msvenablx @notmeellaannyy @rwoolfe @golddustdykes​ @lovingsarah @slut-for-sarah @geinobinarie​ (message me to be added if interested!)

“Affection memories are the best kind,” Billie’s words came as soft as melted butter. “How old were you?”

I’m not sure I have many of those. “Six.”

“I wish I could have seen young Wilhemina eating cheesecake for the first time.” The corners of Billie Dean’s sparkled lightly. Venable couldn’t help but let out a chuckle as she took another bite.

“Do you have any pictures from when you were young?”

Even though the question seemed a little odd, Billie had learned not to judge. It was safe to say their experiences in life had been very different, even though they shared their fair amount of similarities. She nodded as she took a bite. “I do. Why?”

Wilhemina shrugged. “I’d like to see them… sometime. If that’s alright with you.”

“Of course.” Weird. But it made sense… Billie did want to see younger Venable, too.

Wilhemina nodded slowly as she looked down at her plate. I think I might have a few pictures from school… Granted, she had always hated taking pictures. Brown eyes moved back up to Billie Dean, and a small smile graced Venable’s features as she realized the small amount of cream cheese on Billie’s face. “Your chin,” she said softly.

“Hm?”

“You have cream cheese on your chin.”

“Oh.” Billie let her fork go and reached for a napkin. She chuckled as she wiped her face clean. “Thank you.” Embarrassing.

“Of course.” I can’t believe the nerve of her to look good even with cream cheese on her face.

Carefully taking one last bite, Billie Dean set her plate aside. She licked her lips and made sure no bits were left on her cheeks. Venable still savored the dessert, and so honey eyes watched her. In no time, they were back at the living room with the dishwasher all loaded and running. Purpura sleepily watched them from her spot at the center table.

“That was good,” Billie sat back down at the couch, right beside Wilhemina, whom nodded.

“When did you first find out you had a talent for finding good food?” Venable teased as she leaned back against the couch. Billie Dean let out a small chuckle. Is it safe to feel that comfortable around her? That was a constant doubt in her mind.

“I think it’s a talent only for you.” She reached for one of Venable’s legs, hand resting on her knee and caressing it on top of the pants.

Wilhemina smiled to herself. Floratta Blue permeated her house in comforting tones of coral. “If you say so…”

“Mhm.” Leaning closer, Billie kissed Wilhemina’s cheek before resting back on the couch.

With the corners of her eyes sparkling lightly, Venable turned her head to stare at Billie Dean. The caresses on her leg no longer felt foreign. Such a short time… Things with Emma had taken so long so develop to whatever it had been. How was any of that even happening with Billie? “Will you help me set my iPad?”

“Of course.”

Afternoon dawned and night arrived pretty fast. Shades of orange invaded the living room as Billie Dean was just done helping Wilhemina set everything, and then Venable got up to turn the light on. The iPad now lay charging on the corner table, already with the purple case on and a few apps installed. Honey eyes watched as Wilhemina caressed Purpura on her way back to the couch, and as she was about to comment on her trousers, her phone began to ring from her purse. Brown eyes moved to hers. Billie Dean bit her lower lip and wished the name on the screen didn’t start with the letter ‘E’—thankfully, it didn’t. “It’s Jenny,” she told Venable before walking to the bathroom, receiving a nod back. Closing the door, Billie quickly picked it up. “Hello?”

“Stop ignoring my texts!” From the other side, Jenny yelled teasingly.

“I’m not!” Billie said with a chuckle. “I just haven’t been around my phone today.”

“Oh! Oh—oh! You’re at her house?!”

Laughing, Billie Dean moved to sit down on the closed toilet lid. “Yes, I am.” Her words were quiet, low.

“Did you spend the night? Oh, of course you did!”

Billie couldn’t help but find Jenny’s excitement funny. “I did, but nothing happened.”

“How come?”

“We’re going slow.”

“Did you make out at least?”

“Jenny!”

“Come on!”

Smiling to herself, Billie Dean nodded on the phone. “Yes…”

“So she does have feelings for you, huh?”

“… yes.”

“Where’s my ‘You told me, Jenny. You’re always right, Jenny. I should give you a raise, Jenny.’?”

“Shut up!” Billie chuckled yet again, hearing as the girl did the same on the other side of the phone. After a moment, she bit her lip. Their laughs died down. “Thank you…”

“You’re welcome,” Jenny’s voice came softly, now. “On a more serious note, is everything alright? Is she treating you well and not like she’s made out of ice?”

Billie Dean shook her head. “She’s the sweetest, Jenny…”

“If you say so.”

“Truly.”

“I believe you.”

Billie licked her lips as she thought. “Was Emma alright? Yesterday, when you dropped her home?”Silence. Billie Dean felt Jenny shifting on the other side of the line. Oh no.

“She was just drunk. Do you really want to talk about her now?”

“She said something about Terry, didn’t she?”

Jenny took a deep breath. Billie gulped. “She said a lot of things…”

“Jenny…”

“Yes. She did talk about Terry.”

“Fuck,” Billie breathed out. Closing her eyes, she reached to massage her temple. “What did she say?”

“I don’t remember exactly—or rather, I didn’t understand it very well— but it was something that had to do with telling Wilhemina about her.” Billie Dean groaned. “She was drunk and very much mad at you, I doubt she’ll do anything,” Jenny tried to amend. It didn’t help much.

“She thinks she knows what happened, and she’s assuming that’s what I am doing with Wilhemina.”

“Yeah…”

“That’s not it, Jenny. Terry wasn’t even fired because of that!” Her voice raised a little. Billie quickly took notice of it and squeezed her eyes shut for a moment.

From the other side, Jenny gulped. “I know, Billie… but you do know that a few people can’t help but make that connection, right?”

Billie Dean took a deep breath. “Yes…” And it fucking sucks. Just another thing people assumed about her life, as if she didn’t have enough of that already.

“Have you told her about it?”

“Wilhemina?”

“Yes.”

“No… not yet.” Honey eyes fell down. Billie sucked on her lower lip. “I think it’s too soon.”

“Billie, it’s either you telling her or her possibly finding it out through Emma… and I really don’t think you’d like the latter.”

“I know,” Billie Dean murmured. “What else did she tell you?”

“She just cried a lot… and called you a bunch of names.”

“Fair,” she murmured again.

“Not really, but we’ll not dwell on that right now.” Billie nodded to herself. “Are you spending the weekend there?”

“Yes.” Taking a deep breath, Billie Dean sat up a little better. “Why?”

“Just asking. The reports about the party should be out on Monday, and we need to approve the pictures for the special.”

“Right. You can ask them to e-mail me the material.” I desperately need a break from working. The end of the year was always hectic for Billie Dean.

“Already did. They’re waiting on an answer until Monday, noon.”

“Perfect. We can do it in the morning, then.”

“Mhm.”

“Do I need to do anything this weekend?” Billie had found Jenny’s question a little odd, so it was always best to ask.

“Not really. I was just curious about you and her,” the girl chuckled.

“Oh.” Chuckling back, Billie got up from the lid. That’s good at least. “I’ll tell you more on Monday.”

“Good. I’ll be waiting excitedly as the reason for all of that to be happening I am.”

“Silly,” Billie Dean teased back. “Alright, I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Alright. Have a good weekend, wink wink.”

“You too, you annoying human.” With both of them laughing, Billie ended the call. She looked up to the mirror and fixed her clothes and hair, eyes glued on herself. She sighed. She’ll think I do that with everybody. Maybe that talk could wait until Monday… or at least until tomorrow. Billie Dean decided she wouldn’t think about it now. At least not for the night. She still had another whole day before the next week, after all.

Quietly stepping out of the bathroom, Billie Dean walked back to the living room; she didn’t find Venable there. “Wilhie?”

“In the bedroom,” Venable called back.

Quietly still, Billie Dean followed that way. As she got to the room, her eyes were graced with the lovely image of Wilhemina, sitting on the bed with Purpura and a tube of lotion by her side. Lavender notes invaded her nostrils. Billie smiled. “Are you moisturizing her?” She remembered Venable had said something about it, once.

Wilhemina nodded. She reached for more of the lotion and gently caressed the cat’s back, which purred lowly. “Winter makes her skin drier.”

“She’s so well behaved.” Carefully, Billie sat down beside Wilhemina. She watched as her hands worked on Purpura, so gentle and caring. And with such long and dainty fingers… not now. Billie Dean licked her lips and looked back up at Venable, watching the way she was so absolutely focused on the cat, with lips curling up and eyes so soft above the sky of freckles there. To be loved by her must be holy. She could only wish to experience that one day. “Can I help?”

Taken positively aback, deep brown eyes met honey ones. “To moisturize her?” Billie nodded. Venable opened a smile. “Of course.” She reached for the lotion and pushed it closer to Billie Dean. “Here. Her chest is missing still.

“Okay.” As gentle as she could, Billie Dean scooped a small amount of lotion on her fingers and began to caress the cat’s chest, right underneath her neck. Purpura purred a little louder, shifting on the mattress to accommodate the hand. Billie smiled, and as she looked up at Wilhemina, their eyes and smile met again. Air seemed scarce all of a sudden. I want to give her the world.

I love her. When had anyone ever treated Purpura like that? When had anyone wanted to be a part of her life like that? How scary? How good? How foreign? “She likes it,” Wilhemina said, voice as soft as melted butter. “She likes you.”

With a tiny chuckle, Billie Dean used all of her strength to take her eyes off of Venable and look back at the cat. “I like her, too.” With her free hand and mindful of her nails, she reached to pet the cat’s head. Purpura leaned against it, eyes closed. Another chuckle left Billie’s lips.

With her teeth trapping her lips in order not to allow them to smile too big, Wilhemina kept on watching them. She pulled her hands away and wiped them on a towel she had taken, cleaning them of the lotion. After a minute or two, she spoke again. “Thank you for being so nice to her…”

“Of course,” Billie Dean’s eyebrows drew closer in confusion. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

Venable shrugged. My mind clearly works wrong. “It’s just that… a few people can be mean because of—of how she looks.” Just like they are to me. She nervously licked her lips. “You know… the skin.”

Billie’s frown grew for a second until she understood just how deep the topic actually was. Her eyes reflected nothing but kindness now. “There’s nothing wrong with how she looks, Wilhie… and even if there were, quote on quote, something wrong about her, that wouldn’t be an excuse for people to treat her in any way but kind.” Gulping again, Wilhemina nodded. She took a discrete deep breath and clutched the small purple towel on her lap. Billie Dean took notice of it. She’s nervous. With her own heart picking up slightly in speed, Billie looked down at the cat for a second before looking back up at Venable. Her lips curled up on the corners. “Besides, I think she looks really cute.”

This time, it was Wilhemina who looked away from Billie Dean. Her cheeks tinted softly. The underlying tone of their conversation was very much explicit. “R-really?”

“Oh, yeah.” She knows I’m talking about her. There was no need to point that out. Billie had been learning compliments and words of affirmation were better left in the murky, at least for now. “More than cute, I think she’s beautiful.” Clutching the towel in her hands a little harsher, Venable nodded quietly. She slowly looked back up, and when her eyes met honey ones again, she found a look in them that left her warm all over, sweet all over, comforted all over. Billie Dean’s smile grew lovingly, pouring affection all over. Carefully not to disturb Purpura, Billie scooted closer to Wilhemina, hand reaching to cup one of her cheeks—slowly, so she could ask her to stop if she wanted. She didn’t. Billie Dean’s thumb caressed the plump crimson skin with so much tenderness it nearly hurt. Venable sighed lowly. “You’re beautiful, Wilhemina,” she whispered, voice as soft as a cozy blanket and as sweet as honey. She could feel Venable’s breath against her lips, faster than usual and oh so inviting. So she kissed her, slow and gentle and affectionate.

With blood rushing up to her head, Wilhemina felt her hands trembling against the cloth. She did the best she could and let go of it, reaching to caress Billie’s arm as she kissed her back. Their lips danced slowly and passionately, and for a split second Venable felt herself losing touch with the parts that could be so damn horrible to her. Her lips picked up in intensity, and she subconsciously scooted closer to Billie Dean, too. Purpura meowed from between them, therefore causing the kiss the break. Wilhemina took a deep breath as she stared at Billie’s eyes, lips rosy and tingling deliciously. Billie Dean watched her closely, thumb still tracing Venable’s cheek. I’m terrified things will change. Reality set back in. Wilhemina gulped. “I’m n-not used to that…”

“Compliments?” Venable nodded. I know. Billie smiled sadly. “Any chance I can help you get used to them?”

With her cheeks still red and hot, Wilhemina bit her lower lip. Hesitantly, she nodded. “It might take a while…” It might never happen at all.

With the softest smile she could manage, Billie Dean reached to tuck a lock of red hair behind Venable’s ear. “That’s okay,” she whispered. Billie felt as dark brown eyes fell down to her lips, so she leaned closer and kissed Wilhemina again, which got herself a sweet sigh. Billie Dean pulled away just enough to stare at Venable. “I’m not in a rush.” She had said that already, about many things, but she would never grow tired of easing Wilhemina’s mind.

And yet again, there she was… bare, raw in front of Billie. Vulnerable, and yet she didn’t feel so scared. That’s scary. Would that become something usual for her?

Sunday morning arrived as sweetly as the past night had been; Wilhemina found herself falling asleep tangled in Billie Dean’s arms again, this time receiving kisses on the forehead until she, eventually, allowed sleep to win. When the first ray of sunlight slipped through the curtains, their limbs were still tangled and their skin was still warm from their embrace. It was Venable who opened her eyes first, eyebrows close as she frowned from the light. When her vision wasn’t so blurry anymore, Wilhemina focused on whatever was in front of her—it happened to be Billie, still fast asleep and with her lips inches away from her own. She took a deep breath. I kissed her. Venable licked her own chapped lips, body falling slowly into reality as it got aware of its position: legs tangled with Billie Dean’s, an arm that wasn’t its own wrapped around her waist, feet touching, blonde hair tickling her face. How lovely was it, to not wake up alone? To not always be by herself? Wilhemina took another deep breath, brown oceans examining the face in front of hers. Is she even real? Venable still had her doubts. Billie frowned as a strand of her own hair tickled her face, nose scrunching up. Wilhemina smiled to herself and reached to pull the strand of hair away and behind Billie Dean’s ear. As she pulled her hand away, she couldn’t help but brush her knuckles against Billie’s face, caressing her peachy skin. I shouldn’t be so attached already. How could she not? When that woman treated her and made her feel a way she had never experienced before? Venable watched as Billie Dean began to slowly open her eyes. She smiled sleepily to herself.

Letting out a small sigh, Billie hummed as her vision came into consciousness, body snuggling closer to whatever was providing it warmth. Lavender soon clouded her senses, and so Billie Dean finally fixated on the face in front of her. Her lips mirrored Wilhemina’s sleepy smile. Was she watching me? “Hi,” Billie croaked out, as sweet as she could manage in her state.

“Hello.” Venable’s smile grew as her cheeks began to tint for some reason. Down her legs, she felt as Billie Dean’s foot caressed her own. “I hope I didn’t wake you.”

Billie shook her head before hiding her face against the pillow to cover a yawn. Her hand reached for Wilhemina’s waist and pulled her closer. “You didn’t.” She looked back at dark brown eyes. “I wouldn’t have minded if you had, though.”

Venable nodded at the words as spidery fingers slowly moved up to cup Billie Dean’s cheek. Wilhemina just stared at her for a minute before taking a deep breath. “I like waking up next to you,” she whispered. I didn’t know not being alone could ever feel this way.

Coral fingernails scratched softly against the cloth of Venable’s purple pajamas, caressing her waist and the small of her back. Billie Dean leaned closer and kissed her gently on the lips. I hope my breath is tolerable. “I like waking up next to you, too,” she whispered back. Wilhemina stared at her like she was made of all the stars in the universe, eyes shining and all. Billie couldn’t help but pull her even closer, and this time Venable’s hand fell down to her waist and pulled her closer, too. Their bodies left no space between each other, breaths mingling. “I sleep pretty well when I’m with you… you’re warm and you don’t snore,” she teased.

Chuckling lowly, Wilhemina bit her lip to stop her smile from growing too much. “Why, thank you. I could say the same, but your feet are freezing,” she teased back, because being playful didn’t come with a sentence of being punished when it came to Billie Dean.

With a laugh, Billie made sure her feet were well tangled with Venable’s. “I don’t know why they’re so cold.”

Wilhemina hummed. She reached for the hand that caressed her waist and tangled her fingers with Billie Dean’s. “So is your hand.” She caressed the cold digits between her own, trying to warm them up. “Are you cold?”

“Not really.” Billie licked her lips, and part of her heart still melted every time she was reminded of how just how caring Venable was with her. “Are you?”

“No,” Wilhemina shook her head. She let go of Billie Dean’s hand and now caressed her arm, even though Billie had said she wasn’t cold. Billie Dean didn’t mind, not at all. She kept a smile printed on her lips. “Are you hungry?” I should have bought some pastries.

“A little.”

“I can cook us an omelette, or maybe I can go out and get a few pastries, if you’d like. There’s this—“

“Wilhie,” Billie Dean cut Venable gently just as she was about to start lifting the covers to get out of bed. Wilhemina looked at her. “Can we cuddle a little?”

With her cheeks turning purple, Venable nodded. She blinked twice before slowly snuggling closer to Billie again. “Sorry,” she whispered.

Billie Dean shook her head. Hadn’t it been Wilhemina, she could have thought that maybe there was something wrong with her, but being Venable, she knew she was simply eager to please. “You don’t have to apologize,” she whispered back. Her hand found its place on Wilhemina’s waist again, caressing it. She’s always so anxious.

With a nod, brown eyes fell down. Venable took a deep breath. I’m so idiotic. The deprecating voice was already up and running. She gulped and looked back at honey oceans, legs tangling back with Billie’s. After a moment, she spoke again. “I like cuddling with you,” she said, because part of her felt like Billie Dean could maybe be thinking otherwise, and she didn’t want to ever cause Billie Dean to think like that.

She’s worried. Opening a smile, Billie reached to pull a strand of read hair away from Venable’s eyes. “I know, darling. I didn’t think otherwise.”

Darling. Wilhemina didn’t know if her stomach would ever stop turning with the pet name. This is the second time she’s called me that. How delicious did it feel? “Good,” she murmured somewhat shyly.

Billie Dean hummed back, hand caressing her waist slowly, feeling as it rose and fell with Venable’s breathing. She stared at those chocolate eyes in front of her, watching the way they moved away and back to her own. She’s shy. Her lips curled up softly. “Did you dream of anything?”

Wilhemina shook her head, eyes struggling to stay at brown ones. “Not that I remember. Did you?”

Billie Dean had actually had a dream; she saw a woman, hair red just like Venable’s, face full of suffering and with lines well marked. She cried, but couldn’t speak. Wilhemina didn’t need to know that. “Not really.” Venable hummed. Billie licked her lips, eyes tracing the soft freckles on Wilhemina’s cheeks. “I love your freckles,” she said after a second.

To be stared at like that had never felt good… not until Billie Dean. Venable’s skin grew red still, but not from being uncomfortable. “I’m not a huge fan of them…”

What’s new? Wilhemina didn’t seem to be a huge fan of anything that made her who she was. Billie didn’t need to point that out, but she did keep that in mind. “You always cover them, don’t you?” Venable nodded. Billie Dean opened a sad smile. “I love them,” she repeated.

Wilhemina gulped. She nodded again, eyes falling down before going back up. She licked her sudden dry lips. “Thank you.”

Billie couldn’t help but smile a little more. It was clear Venable wasn’t used to being complimented, or having any kind of intimacy with people, but there was something so sweet about it… so strangely pure, in a way. Most people wouldn’t see it that way, but Billie Dean had never been most people. So she leaned closer and placed a small kiss on Wilhemina’s nose, and then another one on her left cheek, and another one on her right one, right on top of the freckles. Wilhemina blinked twice, and with a chuckle Billie Dean kissed her full on the lips, reaching to cup her face.

Sunday went by with nothing but sweet kisses being shared and a movie or two being watched. When the night began to fall down again, Billie Dean hesitantly went back home, but with the promise of seeing each other on Monday morning. Billie knew she should have talked about Terry; knew she should have brought it up before anyone else had the chance, but how could she when Venable looked at her so lovingly and gave her more trust than she had ever given anyone in a long time? Billie Dean simply didn’t have the guts to do it. And she prayed no one would before she could master the courage to do so.

At night, Wilhemina caught herself missing the warmth of another body next to her. Floratta Blue lingered in the air only slightly, and Venable wished she could smell more of it. Fear clouded her senses before sleep could, trying to trick her, trying to scare her. Wilhemina closed her eyes and thought about Billie; about the kiss they shared just before she entered her car and drove home that evening. Nothing would change in the morning. Nothing would change in the week. Right?

#rabexxpaulson #would you swallow all your pride? #ahs #would you swallow all your pride #wysayp #ahs murder house #ahs apocalypse #ahs hotel #ahs fanfiction #willhemina venable #billie dean x wilhemina venable #billie dean howard #american horror story #ahs fanfic #lesbian fanfiction #lesbian fanfic #lesbian story #lesbian

[mwf-art]

Misty always waits for her Supreme 💚

(Ig: mwf.art)

Mistelia commission! I’m having emergency ones at $5 if you’re interested!

Also, no pants Misty heheeh

#rabexxpaulson #ahs #art #american horror story #sarah paulson #my art #ahs apocalypse #lesbian #lgbtq artist #lgbt #misty day #cordelia goode #mistelia #gooday #hi my commissions are open 🥺 #commissions open!!!!! #digital commisions #taking commisions #drawing commisions #lgbtq community #art commisions #mwf.art #ahs coven #ahs fanart #ahs art #lesbian fanart #lesbian art #lesbians

[rabexxpaulson]

hello just here to say i love your story so much! so so so much in fact that i even read it on my wedding day when i got the notificationrhat you updated (lucyintheskywithxanax can vouch for me) -billiebeanhoward

Holy shit oh my God! That’s insane, I’m so glad you like it that much wow!! Thank you!! 💜💗💜

#rabexxpaulson #would you swallow all your pride?

[demonialex]

BRASILLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

SIMMMM!! NAO SABIA QUE TU ERA BR TBM AAAA

#rabexxpaulson #askbox

[thefandomlesbian]

WIP tag game

tagged by @bittersweetstargazer

Rules: In a new post, post the names of all the files in your WIP folder, regardless of how non-descriptive or ridiculous. Let people send you an ask with the title that most intrigues them and then post a little snippet of it or tell them something about it! And then tag as many people as you have WIPs.

(I'm just gonna go w my House MD WIP fics, because otherwise we'd be here all night and I'd run out of folks to tag--)

Not Bigger But Brighter

Human Grapes

Deadline

The Circle Game

Beginning

IN A DREAM YOU SAW A WAY TO SURVIVE AND YOU WERE FULL OF JOY

#10 Nostalgia

#20 Wishing (one-shot prompts I haven't completed yet)

#75 i bet on losing dogs (one-shot prompt I haven't completed yet... at least I made it far enough to give this one a real title, lol)

(and I'm always eager to answer questions about my WIPs and my meta! It gives me a thrill)

Anyways, no pressure to the folks I tag! Complete if you want!

@rabexxpaulson @james-wilsons-mommymilkers @ahousethatjackbuilt @alleyesonthehindenburg @realbeefman @greghatecrimes @purrassicjet @oddlittlestories @ilikepears85

#house md #tag game #house md fanfic #hatecrimes md #hilson

[thesevenwondersofawitch]

Get to know you better game! answer the questions and tag 9 people you want to know better.

I was tagged by the lovely @pelgraine

Last song I listened to: Cruel Summer by Bananarama

before that it was Go As A Dream by Caroline Polachek

currently reading: The Breaking of Glass by Arkodian (It's a Slytherin time traveling Harry Potter fanfic) and various other fanfics

currently watching: Good Trouble

Currently obsessed with: Rosamund Pike, the song Gossip by Måneskin and The Wheel of Time

I tag: @raffaelamusiker @fuckyeahgoodomens @stardustcityhag @mariabatmobile @wilwheaton @lostberryqueen @gaia-ki @rosalie-starfall @rabexxpaulson @cryoverkiltmilk

#måneskin #thesevenwondersofawitch #tag game #games #cruel summer #bananarama #go as a dream #caroline polachek #the breaking of glass arkodian #ao3 fanfic #ao3 harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #wheel of time #the wheel of time

[lucyintheskywithxanax]

Thank you for tagging me @isle-of-earle

Nickname: unfortunately my name in my native language can be turned into SO many annoying nicknames but I have none atm. My favorite though is the one my bf gave me in highschool, Saruman

Sign: capricorn

Height: 1m64

Last googled: which country goes on strike the most

Song stuck in my head: none atm

No. of followers: 1032

Amount of sleep: 5-6 hours on average, 8-9 on the good nights

Lucky number: ??

Dream job: those clever sexy librarians/teachers/archeologists in movies

Wearing: Christmas jumper and grey sweatpants

Movies/Books that summarize you: La chamade (1968)

Favorite song: let’s say Hello Earth by Kate Bush and Blinding by Florence and the Machine

Favorite instrument: piano

Aesthetic: dark academia and cottage core

Favorite author: Virginia Woolf

Random fun fact: I never broke any bone

Tagging @stayevildarling (please tell Aleisha I can’t tag her for some reason but I want to tag her she should do this) @max-the-d0g @stepintomyworld @grilledcheeseandguavajelly @cordeliass @lovelypeasantjellyfish @rabexxpaulson

[paulsonsratched]

Sarah characters and how I relate to them in book quotes:

(I thought I would try something else ☺️)

•

Billie Dean Howard:

“Don't ignore half of me so you can fit me into a box. Don't do that.” (Taylor Jenkins Reid, The seven husbands of Evelyn Hugo)

Cordelia Goode:

„Words have the power to shoot down or raise up. Sharp cutting words can whirl for years.“(Louise M. Wisechild, The Mother I Carry: A Memoir of Healing from Emotional Abuse)

Harriet Hayes:

„I am not an angel,' I asserted; 'and I will not be one till I die: I will be myself.“ (Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre)

Mildred Ratched:

„I must make up my mind which is right – society or I.“ (Henrik Ibsen, A Doll's House)

Wilhemina Venable:

„You're beautiful, but you're empty. No one could die for you.“ (Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince)

•

I would like to get to know you more this way as well. Whether it’s song quotes, book quotes, lines from poems…whatever. It would be amazing to see yours.

I‘m tagging @thedeconstructionist @rabexxpaulson @max-the-d0g @devriesgoode @goodegrrrl

Don’t feel pressured to do it though! You don’t have to of course!

#american horror story #sarah paulson #fanfic #wilhemina venable #wilhemina venable x reader #ahs fandom #billie dean howard #sarah paulson x reader #ahs fanfiction #billie dean howard x reader #cordeliagoodexreader #cordelia goode #cordelia goode x reader #cordelia foxx #Mildred Ratched #Harriet Hayes

[mwf-art]

Purple is Ms. Venable thing 💜 Thank you so much @imnotafruitt for the commission!!!

If you’re interested, my commissions are open and I’m having emergency ones for $5!

Ig: mwf.art

Wilhemina in that beautiful Sarah picture

#art #ahs #rabexxpaulson #american horror story #sarah paulson #my art #ahs apocalypse #lesbian #lgbtq artist #lgbt #hi my commissions are open 🥺 #commissions open!!!!! #digital commisions #emergency commissions #would you swallow all your pride #wysayp #purple #purple is ms venable thing #venable #wilhemina venable

[imagines-ahs]

#would you swallow all your pride? #rabexxpaulson #wysayp

[imagines-ahs]

Chapter Forty-Six: Thulian.

Summary: Wilhemina Venable felt it was finally time to leave Kineros Robotics and get a job with people who weren’t such morons like Jeff and Mutt. What she didn’t expect, however, was for her new boss to be so damn insufferable. She didn’t expect to fall in love with her, either.

Tag List: @mayfair-fleur @mistysswampmud @paulsonsratched @msvenablx @notmeellaannyy @rwoolfe @golddustdykes​ @lovingsarah @slut-for-sarah @geinobinarie​ (message me to be added if interested!)

“Yes.” With her heart starting to go back to its normal speed, Wilhemina took a deep breath. She’s… out of this world. “You can help me if I get lost.”

“Always.” Billie smiled as she caressed Venable’s knee.

Always. Wilhemina bit her lower lip. I shouldn’t be in love so fast. Chuckling to herself, she turned the car on and began to drive. As they stopped at a red light, Venable reached to caress Billie’s hand. It was still astonishing to Wilhemina just how organic Billie Dean’s touch was… she was driving with someone’s hand on her knee and it felt natural. When had she ever stopped to think about that ever being a possibility in her life? The light soon turned green again. The silence between them was comfortable, with only small comments being shared until they eventually got to Billie Dean’s house.

“You remembered it perfectly,” Billie said softly as Venable began to park right in front of the mansion. With a small smile, Wilhemina nodded. Billie Dean bit her lower lip as she was suddenly reminded of the mess her house was. She’ll think I’m absolutely filthy. Billie was definitely not the most organized person in the planet, but she was far from being grimy. A weird type of nervousness crawled inside of Billie Dean. “Um,” she nervously licked her lips as they unbuckled and stepped out of the car. “Eleanor was supposed to have come yesterday, but because of the party I asked her not to…” Wilhemina eyed Billie as they walked to the huge gate, not quite understanding what she meant just yet. “It’s a bit messy,” Billie Dean added.

Oh. Venable bit her inner cheek in order to hold back a grin. Billie was worried about what she’d think of her… that was strangely sweet. “It’s okay,” she shook it off. Billie Dean’s house was Billie Dean’s house, she had nothing to do with it.

I didn’t wash the dishes and I’m sure the living room is a mess. Billie was already embarrassed, and they hadn’t even stepped inside yet. Wilhemina was so organized and had everything perfectly placed in her house, Billie Dean was sure it was going to be a contrast. Will she be less attracted to me because of it? No, that was a stupid thought… her house wasn’t even that messy, to start with. Pushing the huge front door open, Billie stepped aside for Venable to get in. “There it is.”

With her cane tapping on the marble floor, Wilhemina looked around almost in awe; not because the house was huge—it definitely was—but because it was Billie Dean’s. And it screamed Billie Dean. The couches on the living room were white leather, and all the furniture and decorations had a light palette to them, variating from blue to coral to pink. There were a few awards in a huge shelf as well as some books and pictures, and the room was bathing in natural sunlight from the huge windows it had. The pillows on the couch were far from being neatly placed though, and there was a trashcan right in the middle of the living room. Weird. In other times, Venable would have judged; would have thought about how a grown woman had the nerve to keep her house anything other than perfectly tidy. But Wilhemina had been learning a thing or two about being so strict. “It’s a gorgeous living room, indeed.”

“Why, thank you.” Billie Dean had already kicked her shoes off, stepping inside to try and make it more presentable; she grabbed the pillows and set them straight, as well as reaching for the trashcan and pushing it to the corner. “I’m sorry, they were doing my makeup for the party in here and I assumed having a trashcan was easier than allowing trash to collect.” Venable nodded. “It’s usually not that messy,” Billie harped on the same string again. “Eleanor comes three times a week, on Monday she should be here.”

“It’s okay,” Wilhemina repeated, and this time she allowed a tiny smile to lift up the corners of her lips. “It’s not that bad.”

A chuckle left Billie Dean’s cheeks as she finally let go of the pillows—they were still not perfectly placed. “You haven’t seen the kitchen.”

“Show me?”

With another chuckle, Billie nodded. She reached for Venable’s hand and guided her there. As they stepped into the room, honey eyes grew wide as she was reminded of all the frozen pizza she had eaten, for the boxes were stacked in the corner of the room near the trashcan, and two or three plates lay dirty on the sink as well as a few glasses. “I should have kept my mouth shut,” she murmured shyly.

Wilhemina would never, in a million years, accept her kitchen to look like that… good thing it wasn’t her kitchen, right? A lens of sweetness covered her eyes as she looked at the jumble. In order to live, we must create some messes. Someone had told her that a few years ago. Probably her therapist. “That’s a lot of pizza,” she commented with a smile.

“I know!” Billie used her free hand to cover her reddening cheeks. “I was sad.”A hint of sadness touched the smile on Venable’s face. She squeezed Billie Dean’s hand, but didn’t say anything. Oh shit. Billie quickly changed the focus. “Would you—would you like a glass of water? I have juice, too, and wine if you’re feeling like it.”

“I’m alright, thank you.” They hadn’t had lunch already, wine was certainly not an option.

Billie Dean pulled away to grab a glass from the counter, filling it with water. “Are you sure? I might have some soda left, too.”

“I’m positive.” Wilhemina nodded.

Billie took a sip. “If you change your mind, please let me know.”

“I will.”

Finishing her glass, Billie Dean began to guide them to her bedroom, which was upstairs. As soon as Venable eyed the stairs, her hand gripped the cane harsher. She let go of Billie’s hand and reached for the handrail, holding it tightly as she tried to follow up as fast as possible. Billie Dean frowned as the hand let go of hers, looking back only to realize what was going on. Her heart sank for a second, and she wasn’t sure she should really say anything or just let it go. Should she ask if Wilhemina needed any help? Would that be appropriate? Would she feel bad? Billie bit her lip harshly as she slowly followed up, not wanting to rush in front of Wilhemina. “Do you—do you want help?” She asked hesitantly, stopping to look back at Venable once again.

Wilhemina’s knuckles turned white as her cheeks tinted red. She shamefully shook her head, soon holding it back up and making sure her posture was as neat as always. Want. Not need. Even though it probably wasn’t a conscious choice of words, Venable appreciated it. It made her feel less small, and Gosh was she feeling small right now. “No. Thank you.” She kept on taking step by step, leaning heavily on the cane as she did so. Brown eyes avoided honey ones. How is she in love with me? I’m broken. The voice was back again. Wilhemina’s jaw tensed up.

Billie nervously licked her lips and gave Venable a nod. She continued to slowly follow upstairs, eyes closing as she felt like drowning on how uncomfortable she felt. How should she act in situations like this? Why the fuck did I have to want two floors? There was no way past Billie Dean would have known, but she still somehow martyred herself over it. I’ll have to talk about that with her, some other time. Finally arriving upstairs, Billie offered a hand to Wilhemina again. “My bed is probably a mess,” she tried, hoping to make the awkwardness go away.

Inside her mind, Venable was back at fighting with the derogatory thoughts; they bombarded her. You’re broken. You’ll never be enough for her. You don’t deserve her. She’ll soon get tired of you. Her palm no longer felt good against Billie Dean’s, all of a sudden. No no no. Stop it. She forced her fingers to wrap around Billie’s. At the comment, she smiled the best she could and shook her head, trying to bring herself out of her inner turmoil. “It’s okay.”

As they stepped into Billie Dean’s bedroom, honey eyes grew in shame at the way her covers were all messily pilled up on the bed, and a glass or two stood on her nightstand. To top it all off, a plastic bag full of used tissues hung on one of the drawers. Fuck my life. “I’m sorry,” she murmured, quickly walking to grab the bag and shoving it inside the nightstand.

Watching Billie blush because of her caused all the voices inside Wilhemina’s head to lower a notch. She bit her lower lip, smiling a little. The room was a mess alright, but it was Billie Dean’s mess. “It’s okay,” she said, yet again.

“You must think I’m a nightmare to share a house with,” Billie Dean teased. Seriously, she probably does. Her cheeks kept on tinting.

Agreeing with Billie’s statement would have been Venable’s first reaction had she not known Billie Dean’s lifestyle. How was Billie supposed to keep a house this size tidy when she barely had time to sleep? That’s why she has a maid, after all. “You work a lot.” Yes, taking the glasses to the kitchen wouldn’t hurt, and having at least a trashcan to place the plastic bag inside was common decency, but Wilhemina decided to ignore that. Because frankly, she liked Billie too much for it to carry a heavy weight.

“It was a tough week,” Billie Dean breathed out without thinking much. Venable nodded, but didn’t say anything. “After seeing all this… am I still welcome to spend the night at your place?” She teased again. With a small chuckle and with her nerves finally giving up and starting to relax, Wilhemina nodded. “Yay,” Billie chuckled back. She took a step closer to Venable and lovingly pecked her lips, lingering there for a second. A hand sneaked around her waist, holding her there. Billie Dean smiled, gently pulling away. She stared at brown eyes, hands caressing Venable’s hips . “On a more serious note,” her voice was now a bit firmer. “I’m not that messy. I mean—I’m not that messy while sharing my space. I—I respect people’s boundaries. I wouldn’t mess your place, that’s what I mean.”

She’s nearly stumbling over her words. Wilhemina didn’t think she’d ever have that effect on someone—at least not in a good way. Most people stumbled over words because they were intimidated by her. With her smile spreading timidly, she nodded. And her hand made sure to caress the soft spot where it landed on Billie’s back. “I know. I’m not worried about that.” Mostly because she hadn’t stopped to think about that yet.

Billie Dean nodded and kissed her again. Her lips were as soft as one supposed a cloud would be. “Come on,” she barely whispered as she pulled away, grabbing Venable’s hand and guiding her into the closet. Wilhemina could barely believe how many clothes she saw there, not to mention Billie had shelves just for her shoes, purses and accessories, as well as a huge full body mirror and a large vanity. Billie Dean took her to a small couch in the middle of the room, and Venable quickly took a seat. With a smile, she bent down to kiss her once more. “I’ll just change and grab a few things.”

“It’s no rush,” Wilhemina murmured against Billie’s lips. They kissed again before Billie Dean finally pulled away.

“Oh,” she back down. “Can you unzip me?” Billie turned around. “I can do it myself, but since you’re here…”

“Of course.” Reaching up, Venable carefully pulled the delicate piece south. Her fingertips burned as freckled skin appeared underneath the material, revealing more and more of Billie. She gulped, pulling away when it was done and revealing the tiniest bit of lace from Billie Dean’s underwear.

“Thank you.” Billie held the dress close to herself and got back up. She walked to a more secluded area, where Wilhemina couldn’t really see her, and discarded the dress aside. Now, only in her panties, she reached for a pair of jeans and a sweater. After getting dressed, Billie Dean walked back to the room to collect a few things. Underwear, pajamas, cigarettes, perfume, phone charger… She set everything inside a handbag, and all the while, dark brown eyes were glued on her; Venable watched Billie’s every move, eyes scanning her unabashedly, passing up and down through her body with a different kind of intention. “I’m all set,” Billie Dean turned around to Wilhemina. Her insides twisted at the look Venable had on her face. She’s been watching me. The hair that stood up on the back of her neck made a lot of sense.

“Alright.” Wilhemina licked her dry lips, reaching for her cane to get up. She finally looked away. How can someone look so good in jeans? She took a deep breath.

“I just need to find some shoes.” Billie walked to one of the shelves and reached for a pair of white sneakers. Her feet needed a break from heels. She quickly put it on and turned back around. “Ready?”

“Yes.” Venable reached for Billie Dean’s hand and they both walked out of the bedroom and to the stairs. This time, Billie quickly let go of Wilhemina to allow her to better go downstairs. It was easier to go down than up, for Venable.

When they reached the living room, Billie Dean guided them to the front door, fingers tangled with Wilhemina’s again. She could see how Venable eyed her legs from time to time, quickly looking away right after. A small smirk touched her lips. As she opened the front door and Wilhemina stepped outside, Billie allowed herself to stare at Venable’s butt for a bit longer; she bit her inner cheek and looked away to lock the door as soon as Wilhemina looked back at her. “We can order something for lunch, later,” she decided to speak so her inappropriate thoughts didn’t consume her.

“Sure,” Venable nodded. She forced herself to stop staring so much at Billie Dean, but how could she stop when that woman was wearing jeans? They walked to the huge gate and Billie stopped to set the alarm there; once she did it, they finally stepped outside. Wilhemina already reached for the car keys. “Are you hungry already?”

“No,” Billie shook her head. “Are you?”

“No.” Venable unlocked the car, but before she could reach for her door, Billie Dean was already opening it for her. Warmth made its way to her cheeks. She offered her a timid smile. “Thank you.”

Smiling brightly, Billie nodded. “Of course.” She leaned closer and pecked Wilhemina’s cheek, because she could.

Holding back a sweet chuckle, Venable got into the car. How is she real? She bit her lower lip to stop her smiling from growing too much. Billie Dean soon joined her inside, and once they buckled up Wilhemina began to drive. A hand landed on her knee, caressing it. Venable’s brown eyes fell down to it for a second, and her cheeks kept on fighting with the expanding smile. “Your nails are always so beautifully done… how do you maintain them?” she asked after a second of silence.

“Oh,” Billie Dean eyed the hand that caressed Wilhemina’s knee. “They’re gel extensions.” Venable hummed, and honey eyes noticed how she seemed to frown a little. “Every two weeks I get them done. My former agent advised me to always have my hands in order, since I talk too much with them. It’s been years since my natural nails have seen the light of day.”

Wilhemina supposed it made sense. She stared at her own nails at the wheel, and part of her felt ashamed that they were kept… natural. She always made sure her nails were clean and cut short, of course, but that was it; sometimes she dared painting them a shade of purple, but it was a rare event. “They’re beautiful.”

Billie couldn’t hold the chuckle that left her lips. She remembered, back when they barely knew each other, how Venable had commented on her nails and how she seemed to not like them. “You don’t mean it,” she teased.

With her frown growing, Wilhemina looked at Billie Dean as they stopped at a red light. “I do.”

“You don’t,” Billie laughed. “You’ve told me you didn’t like them some time ago. It’s okay, they’re not everyone’s cup of tea.” She lovingly squeezed Venable’s knee to make a point.

Damn it. Wilhemina’s cheeks tinted once again. Honesty sometimes costed a lot. “I like them, now.”

“That doesn’t count.”

“It definitely does.” Billie Dean chuckled again. The light turned green, and so Venable had to look away and to the road.

“I’m glad you do, then.” Billie squeezed Wilhemina’s leg one more time, caressing it.

Venable chewed on her bottom lip as she thought. “I suppose I’ve grown used to them… they compliment you.” And they do look sexy. She kept that part to herself.

Billie Dean hummed. She looked at her own hand again, examining the nails. “Like the purple with you.”

“You didn’t like the purple back then?” The question flew from Wilhemina’s lips before she could really think about it.

Billie Dean’s eyes grew in size. She looked at Venable even though brown eyes kept glued on the road. “No, I did. That’s not what I meant.”

I didn’t like the nails, she didn’t like the purple. Insecurity crawled inside Wilhemina, even though it made no sense; Billie didn’t have to like every single part of her life… right? I don’t like her any less because she smokes. But Billie Dean was Billie Dean, Billie Dean was beautiful and perfect and had every single aspect of her life in place. Venable was no Billie Dean.

“Hey,” Billie’s soft tone cut through Wilhemina’s inner turmoil. She squeezed her knee again. She’s ashamed. “All I meant is that I’ve grown used to the purple, too. And that it compliments you well. I’ve always been fond of it.” Venable nodded. She gulped as the light turned red again. Brown eyes hesitated, but moved to honey ones. Billie Dean offered her a small smile, warm and comforting as always. And then she leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I love the purple,” she repeated, just to make sure.

With her inner cheek trapped between her teeth, Wilhemina opened a timid smile. She nodded, yet again. “I love the coral,” she said shyly, and the smile that graced Billie’s face was so damn beautiful Venable was afraid she was about to melt. The light changed colors again, and so Wilhemina forced herself to look away. One of her hands, however, reached to squeeze Billie’s.

In no more than twenty minutes, Venable was already parking at her garage. They both got out of the car, Billie Dean with her bag in hand. Wilhemina reached for her keys and opened the door, allowing Billie to step inside first. As she walked by Venable, Billie Dean reached to caress her waist, watching as Purpura meowed and came running to greet them at the door.

“Hi, cutie,” Billie said softly. Purpura watched Billie Dean but didn’t lean closer to her legs.

The hand around her waist felt good. Almost too good. Wilhemina smiled at the cat and turned to close the door. “She’s used to pets first thing when I get home.”

“I can see that.” Honey eyes watched the way the cat leaned against the corner table, rubbing her back against it.

“She’s very spoiled,” Venable commented sweetly as she carefully took off her shoes and set them aside. Billie quickly did the same. Then, they walked to the couch. Only then Wilhemina took notice of the fact she was pretty sure she had never seen Billie Dean with anything other than heels. The white sneakers didn’t make her any less classy.

“I think that’s adorable.” As soon as they sat down, Purpura jumped up and to Venable’s lap.

“Hi, sweetheart,” Wilhemina chuckled. She set her cane aside and caressed between the cat’s ears. Loud purrs filled the room.

Smiling to herself, Billie Dean reached to caress Purpura on top of her sweater. The cat leaned closer to her. “Is it good?” A tiny meow was heard. Billie gasped as Venable let out a laugh.

“I think it is.”

“She’s so smart.”

Wilhemina nodded, fingers still caressing the cat’s skin. After a minute or two, she looked at Billie. Her lower lip got trapped between her teeth as she watched the way honey eyes were so lovingly glued to the cat. I’d love to paint her. Venable could trace Billie Dean’s features with her eyes so perfectly well; she could see where she’d add shade and volume, which colors she would mix to match the shade of her silky hair and cherry lips. “Would you allow me to paint you sometime?”

Billie blinked softly as she looked at Wilhemina. “Paint me?”

Venable nodded. “As a reference.”

With her cheeks gaining a bit of color, Billie Dean nodded back. “Yes.” Why was that so romantic? The idea of having Wilhemina staring at her every single detail for hours had the hair on the back of her neck standing up. Billie used her free hand to reach for Venable’s knee, caressing it. Purpura now jumped off of Wilhemina’s lap and walked to the kitchen. “That’s so sweet of you…”

“What is?” Venable had trouble understanding; Billie Dean was the one who agreed to an idea of hers, after all.

“You, wanting to paint me.”

“Oh.” Wilhemina hadn’t stopped to think about the possibility of it coming off as weird. But it suddenly popped into her mind that it could be. “I mean—only if you feel comfortable.”

“I do,” Billie Dean quickly said. She squeezed Venable’s knee again, and this time a hand tangled with hers. Wilhemina caressed her fingers. “I just find it such a lovely thing, that you would want to paint me.”

“You’re beautiful,” Venable simply said. Because it was true, and because she didn’t think she’d ever get tired of staring at her.

With her cheeks tinting even more, a shy cackle left Billie’s lips. Her eyes moved away from brown ones before coming back again. “So are you… unfortunately, all I can draw are stick figures.”

With a small laugh, Venable shook her head. She’d have to draw a crooked one. The thought came flying with no warnings, although more of that kind had been lingering in the back of her head ever since she had to face the stairs. Wilhemina gulped and shoved it aside. “I bet they’re lovely.”

“I can make a purple one for you.” Playfully, Billie Dean winked. And it was just so damn pure to be able to enjoy another person like that; with no worries, with no fears. Venable didn’t hold back the laugh that left her lips, and Billie just stared and stared at that woman nonstop, wanting to remember every single detail of her features when she was happy.

“I think that works.”

“Me too,” Billie’s voice was considerably softer, now. Brown eyes moved to hers, almond in shape from smiling. Billie Dean smiled back and reached to caress one of Wilhemina’s cheeks with her free hand. They stared at each other. “I think my grandma would have loved you,” she said after what seemed to be ages.

With a frown reaching her features, Venable licked her suddenly dry lips. “How so?” she asked, voice as soft as Billie’s.

With a small shrug, Billie Dean now played with a lock of red hair. “I just know she would.” Billie’s grandmother had been the only person to believe in her when she said she could contact the other side—and to really believe her, not only after she began getting recognized. Granted, Billie Dean had gotten her gift from someone, and that someone had been her grandmother. I miss her. “She was the first one I opened up to about my sexuality… the first one I told about my gift… she would have loved you,” she repeated.

Blinking softly, Venable found herself a little lost on the emotions that invaded her. How was it like to have someone you could trust like that? But also… how was it like to lose someone like that? Wilhemina would usually roll her eyes and ignore the subject when people started talking about their family, for it was too painful. But Billie Dean’s family seemed worth the pain. “I’m sure she was lovely.” If Billie talked that highly about her, Venable had no reasons to believe otherwise. I feel weird.

“She was.” A small smile touched Billie Dean’s lips. “I can see her as clear as day, crocheting you a purple sweater… hugging you so tightly your arms would hurt.” Billie chuckled faintly, eyes far away. “She would love to talk to you about wine… about books, or art, or anything you wanted to talk about. She would love your hair… and how you smell, and how you carry yourself…”

Venable gulped softly. Billie Dean’s words carried so much adoration, yet so much pain… she had never seen her like that. Yet, Wilhemina herself grew with new emotions once again, and she wondered how to deal with them, what to do with them. She tried picturing a woman who could be Billie’s grandmother, but all she could think about were the old ladies who locked her at her bedroom when it was bedtime. Someone so important to Billie Dean certainly wouldn’t be like that. Her chest grew tight—but not because of anxiety, this time. But because of something she didn’t know.

“She really would have loved you,” Billie repeated once again, thus breaking Venable’s train of thoughts. She blinked once and let go of Wilhemina’s hair, leaning closer to kiss her on the forehead. I’m not ready to talk about her yet. Billie Dean didn’t know why she had brought her grandmother up, out of nowhere. She thought about her every single day, but the wound was still not healed enough. And she didn’t want to bring their mood down, for they already had quite a lot on their plate. Shaking the nostalgia off, Billie pulled away and smiled at Wilhemina, whom stared at her with eyes as wide and concentrated as a puppy’s. She’s adorable. “I’m starting to grow hungry…”

Change of subjects. Venable supposed Billie Dean would open up more when she felt ready. Doing her best to shift her internal dynamics, she nodded and leaned to peck her lips once. How would my grandmother be like? She would never find out… she would never know if her family would have loved Billie Dean, if her mother would have been happy for her, if her father would have grown protective. I’m alone. She knew that, but being reminded of it was a different story. “We can order.” Clearing her throat in order to clear her mind, Wilhemina reached for her phone inside her pocket. Billie Dean snuggled closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, caressing it. I’m glad she has a family.

#rabexxpaulson #would you swallow all your pride? #ahs #american horror story #lesbian #billie dean howard #lesbian fanfic #lesbian fanfiction #lesbian story #willhemina venable #billie dean x wilhemina venable #WYSAYP #ahs fanfiction #ahs murder house #ahs apocalypse #ahs hotel

[mwf-art]

Some people are worth taking pictures for 🥰

Inspired by ‘Would you Swallow all your Pride?’

(Ig: mwf.art)

#art #ahs #rabexxpaulson #american horror story #sarah paulson #my art #ahs apocalypse #lesbian #lgbtq artist #lgbt #would you swallow all your pride #wysayp #mwf.art #billie dean x wilhemina venable #wilhemina venable #billie dean #billie dean howard #ahs murder house #ahs hotel #gay

[mwf-art]

Wilhemina absolutely does not approve of Billie Dean’s smoking habits… but she for sure can’t deny she looks good while doing it 🔥

Inspired by ‘Would you Swallow all your Pride?’ also don’t smoke kids.

Ig: mwf.art

#art #ahs #rabexxpaulson #american horror story #sarah paulson #my art #ahs apocalypse #lesbian #lgbtq artist #lgbt #billie dean x wilhemina venable #billie dean howard #wilhemina venable #would you swallow all your pride #wysayp #ahs murder house #ahs hotel

[imagines-ahs]

#🫠 #spoiler #rabexxpaulson #would you swallow all your pride?

[imagines-ahs]

Chapter Forty-Seven: Scarlet.

Summary: Wilhemina Venable felt it was finally time to leave Kineros Robotics and get a job with people who weren’t such morons like Jeff and Mutt. What she didn’t expect, however, was for her new boss to be so damn insufferable. She didn’t expect to fall in love with her, either.

Tag List: @mayfair-fleur @mistysswampmud @paulsonsratched @msvenablx @notmeellaannyy @rwoolfe @golddustdykes​ @lovingsarah @slut-for-sarah @geinobinarie​ (message me to be added if interested!)

A/N: I'd like to thank everyone who's still interested in this very much close to my heart story and everyone who's been rooting for me and for everything going on in my life. Things have not been easy, and I've been thinking and wishing that I could just sit down and write, but I just... couldn't. I'm back now though, hopefully for good. Thank you, once again. I don't plan on letting that story go any time soon x.

Change of subjects. Venable supposed Billie Dean would open up more when she felt ready. Doing her best to shift her internal dynamics, she nodded and leaned to peck her lips once. How would my grandmother be like? She would never find out… she would never know if her family would have loved Billie Dean, if her mother would have been happy for her, if her father would have grown protective. I’m alone. She knew that, but being reminded of it was a different story. “We can order.” Clearing her throat in order to clear her mind, Wilhemina reached for her phone inside her pocket. Billie Dean snuggled closer and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, caressing it. I’m glad she has a family.

“Do you mind if we eat something other than McDonald’s?” Billie asked softly, hesitantly.

“Not at all. I was going to ask you that same question, actually.” A chuckle left Venable’s lips. She opened the delivery app and slowly began to scroll down the many options there.

Billie Dean smiled and leaned closer, eyes on the screen. “What about some pasta?” Venable hummed. Pasta sounded good. “There’s this restaurant I always order from.” Gently, Billie reached to touch on the screen; her nail produced a tiny sound as it made contact with the glass. “They have the most delicious red sauce.”

“You know I won’t argue with you over food recommendations,” Wilhemina teased, trying to lift the somber atmosphere off of herself. It worked, for Billie Dean laughed in a way that got her mind thinking about nothing but the way that woman beside her managed to be so damn majestic.

“I hope I won’t let you down this time.” Honey eyes moved to brown ones.

Wilhemina offered her a tiny smile. “You couldn’t.” It was true, and it was also scary. Not now.

Humming lovingly, Billie looked down at the screen again. “I usually go for their spaghetti with meatballs. They also have those delicious breadsticks that taste heavenly with the sauce.”

“That’s perfect.”

“Would you like me to order?”

Venable nodded. She handed her phone to Billie Dean and leaned on her shoulder to watch the screen. Billie Dean bit her inner cheek, holding back her grin as she began to tap down on the mobile. “Do they have anything sweet?” How funny was it that ever since starting to work at Billie Dean Howard & Co. Wilhemina found herself craving sweets in a way she had never done before? Sweets had never been much of a part in her life.

“A few pies.” Swiftly, Billie clicked on the options. She slowly scrolled down. “Their pecan one is delicious.”

Venable was about to agree to it when she saw there was cheesecake on the menu. “Have you ever tried their cheesecake?”

“Not really. We can though, if you’d like.”

Wilhemina nodded. “It’s my favorite.”

“Really?” Honey eyes moved to brown ones once again. Venable smiled a little. She did offer me some cheesecake last week. “I’ll keep that in mind.”A soft blush coated Wilhemina’s cheeks. Billie Dean took notice of it to herself and looked back at the screen. “They have strawberry, grape and blueberry. Which one would you like?”

“I personally prefer grape, but anything else is fine.”

“Grape it is, then.” Billie quickly placed their order, holding back the urge to complain about the fact that Wilhemina was paying for everything. The subject didn’t even cross Venable’s mind, if she were being honest, for the simple fact that Billie Dean had quickly gotten them grape cheesecake was enough to melt her heart in a strange way; she didn’t even question it, she simply got them what Wilhemina had said she liked more. Such a small act, but so damn sweet in nature… Venable wondered if Billie even realized how much she managed to enchant people. Handing the phone back to Wilhemina, Billie Dean leaned back against the couch, arm still wrapped around Venable’s shoulders. “It should be here in about forty-five minutes.”

Wilhemina hummed as she set her phone aside. With both of her hands free, she reached for Billie’s free one and tangled their fingers, slowly playing with them as she looked down at their hands. Will she ever be bothered by the fact I have no family? Like it or not, Venable would never be able to introduce Billie Dean to a mother or a father. I’ve never stopped to think about it before. Her relationship with Lisa had been so different she wondered if it could even compare.

Lost in thought, Venable didn’t realize the way honey eyes were so concentrated on her, analyzing every single feature of her beautiful face. Billie still wondered how could she have not realized just how utterly gorgeous Wilhemina was from the very first time they saw one another. The memories came crashing inside her brain, and Billie Dean couldn’t help but let out a faint chuckle at how different things were, now. Past Billie Dean would have never guessed.

The sound that left Billie’s lips pulled Venable away from her mind. She blinked once and looked at Billie Dean. “What is it?” She asked softly, small smile on her lips.

Shaking her head, Billie smiled a little more. “I was just thinking back to when we first met… to how different everything was.”

“Oh.” What a change of thoughts. Venable nodded. “Indeed.”

“I was so… intrigued by you.”

“Intrigued?” A questioning fiery eyebrow raised up.

Billie nodded. She licked her lips as she thought about how to best articulate her words. “You were so… different. You are different.” The frown in Wilhemina’s features seemed to grow. Billie Dean’s lower lip got caught between her pearl teeth for a moment. “The way you’re so true to yourself… not bending your head down to anyone. It’s different.”

Venable had never stopped to really think of herself that way. “I suppose.”

Billie nodded. Her fingers caressed Wilhemina’s, as well as her other hand on her shoulder. “I mean it mostly about how you’ve always treated me. I was just someone else to you.”

Wilhemina couldn’t help but let out a small irony filled chuckle. “You’re anything but just someone else to me,” she said before she could process the words.

Billie Dean’s smile now reached her eyes. Her chest fluttered just enough for her to want to kiss that woman again. “I mean back then… you’ve never kissed my ass.” Well now that’s just weird. Billie held back the stupid childish giggle that desperately fought for freedom inside herself.

I’d like to kiss her ass now. Wilhemina gulped. Come on. “I know what you mean… and I’m glad for what it means to you.”

Billie nodded. “I desperately wanted to get to know you.”

“Was I that mysterious?”

“Oh yeah,” Billie Dean teasingly raised her eyebrows. “Everyone wanted to get to know you.” Venable let out a scoff. “It’s true!” Billie protested. “I know Emma did.” Brown eyes stared deeply into honey ones. Billie Dean raised a hand in protest, although her cheeks began to blush. Was it a good idea to make that joke? Both knew it hadn’t really been a joke.

“Ugh,” Venable groaned. The reminder that Emma existed—and in consequence, all of their current situation—was definitely not something Wilhemina wanted right now. But also… was that a hint of jealousy in Billie’s voice? Overwhelmed, Venable hid her face against Billie Dean’s neck, which caused a loud laugh to leave Billie’s lips and a hand to tangle in fiery hair. “Don’t even remind me of her,” she murmured.

“I’m sorry, it just slipped out.” To hear Wilhemina saying she didn’t even want to be reminded of Emma was, in all honesty, an amazing feeling. Am I…? She was. Billie Dean knew that.

Wilhemina groaned again before looking back up. She licked her lips as she thought. Thinking of Emma has always been anxiety inducing. It was rage inducing now, too. “I still can’t believe she’s said the things she did to you… who does she think she is?”

“Someone who’s in love with you,” Billie Dean said quietly.

“She’s not—she’s not in love with me,” Venable quickly said. Honey eyes kept on looking at her. Wilhemina frowned. Is she? No, it didn’t make sense. She shook her head. “It’s not—it was not like it is with you.”

Billie held back the ginormous grin that wanted to grace her features once again for the sake of the subject they were talking about. It’s not like it is with you. It was a sort of relief to hear that. “She does like you, that’s for sure.”

The worry dimple between her eyebrows kept on intensifying itself. Venable sucked on her lower lip. “Well, yes, but… in love? I don’t think so.”

“Why?”

Wilhemina shrugged. That’s a stupid question. “For starters, it’s me, and then—then how could she be?”

Exactly. It’s you. “Just like I am.”

Venable shook her head again, deciding that it definitely didn’t make any sense. Things between her and Emma had never been as intimate, as comfortable and as personal as things with Billie Dean. How could Emma be in love with her? No, it just didn’t make sense. She wasn’t in love with Emma, after all. “I just… no.”

Dwelling on the subject would cause more harm than good. The dimple between Wilhemina’s brows kept on growing and growing, and so Billie lightly squeezed her hand. “I just meant that maybe she was scared of losing you.”

“She’s never had me,” Venable said, quite coldly. But it was true. Giving herself to someone—anyone—was a huge step for her; one she doubted she could even manage to take in her lifetime. Billie Dean has a part of me. No, she did not, not yet. Billie hadn’t seen her body bare, after all. And still… I do feel like she’s got at least a fraction of me. She sucked on her lower lip again.

Billie kept her eyes on Wilhemina, paying attention to her every movement, even the slightest ones. She’s bothered. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable, Wilhie. I’m sor—“

“No,” Venable cut her. Billie Dean closed her mouth. Wilhemina squeezed her hand lovingly, offering her a small smile. “You didn’t… I just—I had never… never stopped to think about it. About that, about how she saw me…” Grimacing, she shook her head again. “It doesn’t matter, she still didn’t have the right to treat you like that.” Logic had always been Venable’s best friend.

Billie had definitely understood that love was a hard subject for Venable. She nodded, caressing Wilhemina’s hand back in order to bring her some comfort. “I agree… but it’s over, now.” Is it? Billie Dean’s stomach dropped at the reminder that Emma knew—or rather, thought she knew—about Terry. She’ll destroy me to Venable. Billie had to think about how she’d approach that subject, but not now, not today. They had had so much turmoil over the past weeks, at least a weekend of peace was more than deserved. “Don’t think about her. She’s not here.”

“But she will be on Monday,” Wilhemina murmured. She leaned her head against the backrest, eyes glued on Billie Dean’s perfect ones. Their faces were close again.

“Then we’ll deal with that on Monday. I’ll be there with you.” Disguising her own worries was a hard task, but Billie knew she had to do it for Venable. Wilhemina seemed to hesitate, but nodded. With a small smile, Billie Dean leaned closer and kissed her lips softly, lingering there. As she was about to pull away, a hand reached to caress her cheek, holding her in place. Billie’s own palm now pulled Venable closer by the shoulder, caressing it. The kiss slowly grew firmer, and inside Wilhemina’s mind, the word ‘we’ passed through nonstop; they were a ‘we’ now. How good did it sound? But also… how would that ‘we’ be on Monday, when they were at a public setting, at a work setting, at a life setting?

“Billie,” Venable whispered softly, thus breaking their kiss. Billie Dean pulled away just enough to stare at dark brown eyes; she found a hint of fear there. Wilhemina nibbled on her lower lip, fingers nervously caressing Billie’s cheek. “On Monday… are we still gonna be we?”

Blonde eyebrows threatened to draw closer together. Billie Dean took a second to understand Venable’s question, but when she did, her own face softened up. She nodded, certain and firmly. “Of course, Wilhie.” She licked her lips as she thought, and then, hesitantly, began to speak again. “It… it took me so long to finally have you. I’m not letting go.”

I’m not letting go. The corners of Wilhemina’s eyes clinked. She nodded, and then she leaned to kiss that woman again because how did she manage to get so fucking lucky? I don’t deserve her. But she was there and she was kissing her and she was holding her so damn lovingly she feared she would melt away in Billie’s arms. I love her. I love her. I love her. She kissed Billie Dean a bit firmer in order to stop herself from having the possibility of letting it slip, and Billie’s arm around her shoulders pulled her even closer, causing her back to lift off of the couch and Billie Dean’s arm to slip lower; instantly, Venable leaned back, but with the hand tangled in Billie’s, she pulled her along. Billie Dean snuggled closer, arm letting go of Wilhemina’s shoulders for the sake of the position they were on. The kisses kept on growing firmer, and Billie Dean’s body now bent weirdly. So she shifted on the couch in order to rearrange her hips, which caused Venable to realize what was going on. Gently, she pulled away once again, eyes on honey ones. “You’re not comfortable, are you?” she whispered with a chuckle.

Chuckling back, Billie Dean shook her head. “No, but it is worth it to keep kissing you.”

Letting out a shy laugh, Wilhemina bit her lower lip. “Straddle me again?”

Billie’s stomach twisted. She nodded and moved to do so, legs on each side of Venable’s body. They had done that same thing that morning, in bed, and later in the vanity, but it was still new. Very new. She smiled down at Wilhemina, feeling as hands caressed her hips. Their breaths mingled. “Much better,” she breathed out.

Venable nodded slowly. “Much better,” she repeated. Brown eyes fell down to those rosy lips in front of her, but before she could move forward they already collided against her own. Wilhemina sighed, hands taking in every single curve of Billie Dean’s waist and hips, feeling the way the rough material of her jeans clung to her skin. Stupid jeans. Venable didn’t know what had gotten into her. And then she remembered that time Emma had straddled her in the couch of her house, and how different it had felt to make out with her; with Billie, time simply stopped. Against Wilhemina’s shoulders, near her head, Billie Dean rested her forearms and caressed her cheeks with her thumbs, cupping the fat there as if she were holding the most precious piece of art in the universe. Their tongues had long ago met, dancing like velvet against one another. Just to tease, Billie nibbled on Venable’s lower lip and pulled on it softly, a small smirk on her lips. “Oh—“ Wilhemina instantly gasped. Her cheeks turned such a dark shade of red it was nearly purple. Honey eyes turned darker as they stared at her, and Billie Dean caught her own lower lip between those same teeth, now. Venable gulped. Her lower stomach trembled, as well as her hands that kept on exploring Billie’s back.

“Do you like it?” Billie Dean asked in a near whisper, voice dropping in a way Venable hadn’t heard before. Wilhemina nodded again. I want to devour her, the thought passed through Billie’s mind as fast as lightening. She was the one to gulp now.

“I—I l-like it when y-you straddle me, too.” Venable’s voice trembled from something she couldn’t quite point to; something nice, very.

“Me too.” Billie Dean’s smirk grew a bit more. Her eyes fell down to Wilhemina’s lips before coming back up at dark ones. Venable instinctively pulled her closer. “Can I ask you something?” In the state she was at, Wilhemina doubted she had the power to ever deny Billie Dean anything; she nodded. Billie’s cheeks were the ones to tint now, but only faintly. “Do you like those jeans?”

Fuck. Billie Dean had caught her staring. Of course she had. Now, she turned purple. What an irony. Her eyes fell down as she struggled to keep them on Billie’s, but when she heard that same woman letting out a small chuckle, she looked back up again, lips curving up. What a funny contrast from just a few weeks ago; she would be feeling absolutely ashamed had that happened back then. But it wouldn’t have, for they weren’t that intimate, for they weren’t them yet. Shyly, Venable nodded. “It’s n-not nice to stare… I k-know. My apologies.”

My apologies. Why was Wilhemina so damn classy, even when teasing her? And why did Billie Dean find it so damn sexy? “It is if what you’re staring at is already yours…”

Already yours. Venable blinked once. Is she mine? Did she actually have Billie? What were they? Are we… girlfriends? They were both adults, for fuck’s sake. Did adults even call each other’s partners girlfriends or boyfriends? Wilhemina found it to be so childish… but the concept left her chest tight with joy. She licked her lips, eyes still on honey ones as she tried to find something to say. Nothing came to mind. Billie Dean was about to cut the silence when there was a knock at the door, thus cutting their spell. Both looked away, and Billie carefully got up. “I’ll go—I’ll go get it.” Venable cleared her throat and reached for her cane to get up.

Billie Dean nodded, watching as Wilhemina made her way to the door. Taking a deep breath, she only now realized how fast her heart was beating. Oof. Billie’s lower stomach still burned. She took another deep breath, hand smothering her blonde curls down in order to make herself more presentable. When Venable walked back in, they both followed to the dinner table. “Smells delicious,” she said softly, reaching to help Wilhemina take the containers off of the bag.

Just like Billie Dean, Venable’s whole body seemed to have been engulfed in flames. She forced her mind to go back into place. At the words, she nodded. “Indeed it does.” She reached for the now empty bag. “I’ll go grab the plates and silverware.”

“Let me help you.” Billie followed to the kitchen along with Wilhemina, cheesecake in hand. As they got there, Venable put the bag away and reached for the plates. “Give it to me.” Billie Dean extended her arms once she let the cheesecake go. Slowly but surely, her nerves began to calm down.

“Thank you,” Venable said softly. She now reached for the silverware and for their glasses. “What would you like to drink? I have juice, water, tea…”

“Juice is perfect.”

Wilhemina nodded and moved to grab it, as well as put the dessert into the fridge. They both got back to the living room and set everything down. Sitting face to face, Billie Dean was the one to start opening one of the containers. Venable followed along, heart still a bit faster than usual. Steam raised from the pasta. Billie hummed as she moved to open the container with the breadsticks.

“Looks delicious,” Wilhemina leaned closer. “That’s definitely a hidden talent of yours.”

“Choosing good food?” Billie Dean chuckled as she grabbed a breadstick and took a bite. Venable nodded, carefully serving the both of them. “Well, I’ll take it.”

“You should,” Wilhemina smiled. She pushed a plate closer to Billie before grabbing a fork.

“Thank you.” Taking another bite of the breadstick, Billie Dean reached for a fork and quickly swirled some pasta on it. She took a bite, eyes closing as the taste invaded her mouth. Of course it was as delicious as she remembered it to be, and maybe Venable really was onto something.

Wilhemina couldn’t help but hum as well, reaching for a napkin just to make sure her chin would be free of sauce. “This is wonderful.” Carefully, she reached for a breadstick and dipped it into her dish. Honey eyes watched her lovingly. Venable took a bite.

“Approved?”

“More than so.”

Billie Dean’s smile grew as she got back to eating.

It was interesting, how even a simple task as much as eating felt much more meaningful with Billie around. It caused Wilhemina to wonder what the future held for her, and even though anxiety tried to break it here and there and make things blue, Venable focused only in coral for now; only for a meal, she could manage.

The pasta and breadsticks were soon over, and as Billie Dean followed Wilhemina to the kitchen once again and they loaded the dishwasher together, Billie tried remembering when was the last time she had enjoyed doing chores so much. When was the last time she felt excited to do the dishes, to watch a movie, to just sit on a couch and talk… when was the last time life had showed its colors to her? When was the last time life had allowed itself to be purple?

They both got back to the table, cheesecake in hand. Venable carefully cut them each a piece, mouth salivating at the sight of the creamy cheese and the thick jelly.

“Now that I know it is your favorite, I’m nervous for your reaction,” Billie commented softly.

Shaking her head, Wilhemina let a smile escape her lips. “I’m sure I’ll love it just as much as the pasta.”

“Hopefully.” Billie Dean took a first bite; it was not the best cheesecake she had ever had, but it was good enough for herself. I need to find a way of getting her a piece of that gourmet cheesecake I had in Germany. Honey eyes still watched Venable’s every move.

To Wilhemina, the cheesecake was absolutely delicious, even though it couldn’t be considered the best she had ever had, either. Slowly, she savored each note of sweet and sour, crunch and smooth. She nodded. “It’s good.”

“Not the best, though.” Billie took another bite.

“Maybe not the best, but something I’d buy again.”

“I’ve failed, then,” Billie Dean frowned teasingly, which caused laughter to fill the dining room.

“Don’t be dramatic,” Venable said softly once her laugh died down.

Biting her lower lip, Billie kept her smile printed on her lips. “What’s the best cheesecake you’ve ever had?”

With the dimple between her eyebrows, Wilhemina thought. She felt a foot caressing her own underneath the table. Emma’s. She assumed Billie Dean wouldn’t like that answer. “I can’t really choose.”

“But if you had to?”

Don’t make me answer to that. Lying was not something Venable was fond of… but Emma had been a grey cloud over them, and she desperately needed that cloud to go away. “The homemade cheesecake from one of the ladies at the orphanage… it was the first one I’ve ever had, and none other has ever compared.” It was true in more than one way.

Each bit and detail Wilhemina revealed about her past just caused Billie to admire that woman even more. Her chest flushed with something awfully similar to love. “I bet it was delicious.”

Taking another bite, Venable nodded. When had her past become something so trivial to talk about? “I think it’s more of an affection memory than the taste itself… I do remember it being extremely creamy though, even if the ingredients were probably low quality.” They didn’t have money to spend on extras, after all.

“Affection memories are the best kind,” Billie’s words came as soft as melted butter. “How old were you?”

I’m not sure I have many of those. “Six.”

#rabexxpaulson #would you swallow all your pride? #ahs #would you swallow all your pride #wysayp #ahs murder house #ahs apocalypse #ahs hotel #ahs fanfiction #willhemina venable #billie dean x wilhemina venable #billie dean howard #american horror story #ahs fanfic #lesbian fanfiction #lesbian fanfic #lesbian story #lesbian

[mwf-art]

Billie Dean just can’t help herself: she needs to take pictures of Wilhemina any time she can 💜💗

(Ig: mwf.art)

Inspired by ‘Would you Swallow all your Pride?’

Venable in that sweet Lady P picture! Happy (late) birthday to Sarah 🎉

#art #ahs #rabexxpaulson #american horror story #sarah paulson #my art #ahs apocalypse #lesbian #lgbtq artist #lgbt #billie dean x wilhemina venable #wilhemina venable #billie dean #billie dean howard #wysayp #would you swallow all your pride #mwf.art