#present day lee's note: found this in my drafts. still true. have it.

[nonbinary-androids]

One of the greatest things in the earlier books; the way that Call is lowkey kind of an unreliable narrator, particularly when it comes to his perception of himself and how that relates to others. This is often tragic, but sometimes it's really funny, mainly when he's like "oooh I'm so evil. not like aaron who is beautiful and kind and good and never ever selfish." and meanwhile Aaron is like... giving Celia a death stare and debating taking Alastair up on his offer to run away from all things magic

#present day lee's note: found this in my drafts. still true. have it. #lee rambles on and on #idk man i think it's rlly funny that the neutral good (maybe even lawful good tbh) is *convinced* that he's chaotic evil #this doesn't mean that aaron is evil btw. just that he's a lot more morally gray than call gives him credit for most of the time #magisterium #callum hunt

[stray-kids-react]

S/O likes enjoys writing/writing lyrics

Masterlist

...

Bang Chan

° You owned this special and locked diary for years, where you kept all your bottles up emotions and feelings in.

° One of those feelings evolving your long time crush on Chan, including the words 'Sexy, Cute, Inspirational, Hot, Prince, and A Literal Angel' all in quite a few pages. Luckily your now long time boyfriend has never seen these fangirl/boy paragraphs.

° Chan was all of those words, no doubt about it. But it is still hard to look at those paragraphs without cringing at how desperate you sounded in your mind.

° Chan however apparently loved your affectionate paragraphs, flipping through the pages as you walked through his studio door. Your heart sank as pure shock and terror rushed through your veins. No one wants their private thoughts to be read.

° The tips of Chan's ears were firetruck red, as a beaming grin flashed towards you. You noted that he read through the entire diary, knowing all the dreams and wishes you had that involved him. No skeletons were left in your closet anymore, it was bittersweet.

"So you really think I'm an angel who is also the sexiest person on earth?" he teased, cupping your face in his palms.

"Well duh, but you can't tell me you didn't think anything like that towards me-" You defended, cut off by his sweet kisses.

Lee Know

° Minho found out about your true feelings towards him while reading some song lyrics you wanted to show 3Racha.

° He needed to know who you loved and admired so dearly after reading this, constantly by your side questioning anything he could. After literal weeks of conspiracy, you couldn't take his suspicion anymore and admitted everything.

° You are now much more secretive with your songs that you've written, but that won't stop Minho from looking everywhere he possibly can. He is determined to find them.

° After so many large steps that were taken in your relationship, he wants to see how you truly felt throughout them. From the first date, first time, to the promise ring he fave you last week. Minho wants to say it's to tease, when it's truly because he loves you.

° He loved the way his stomach did kart wheels as his heart fluttered when he first read your words. He hasn't felt that amazing feeling in a while and needs to re live it, luckily for him he noticed a place he has never thought of checking.

"So kitten, you really want to marry me don't you?" he commented, a soft smirk across his glowing features.

"Why wouldn't I? You're you. And how'd you find those?!" you replied, tone changing as you saw how many he actually had.

Changbin

° Changbin was struggling to create a new song, he seemed to accidently make similar beats and lyrics to their past hits.

° You would sometime write up different songs when you were bored, but you never showed them to anyone thinking they weren't great. But Changbin looked in need of some type of inspiration, so you brought out your journal and placed it infront of him.

° His expression was unreadable, either about to thank you for the amazing inspiration or laugh at your cheesy words. You just wanted him to say something.

° Changbin began to smile shyly, showing you a page he just read over. That page happened to be the most recent and the one you completely forgot about. It was a draft about 10 different ways you could tell Changbin that you loved him.

° You really wanted it to be special when you would say it to him, but luck didn't seem to be on your side that day. You were at least glad that he was smiling, showing positive signs that he isn't feeling awkward or doesn't feel the same way about you.

"I love you too my adorable bean." He chuckled, pulling you into his lap as he held you close to his racing heart beat.

"I'm guessing he new comeback is going to be a love song now?" you teased, burrowing into his soft black hoodie.

Hyunjn

° Your relationship use to be a cat and mouse situation, one day you two were best friends and then the next you two were rivals.

° Your anger and frustration towards one another was simply a way to hide your true emotions. Both of you found each other attractive in and out, but were too stubborn to confess. That is until he walked into your room and pressed you up against the wall.

° Your rivalry left out the door once you started dating, the only ounce of it was left in the small playful bickering and teasing. Which happened every day of the week.

° You walked into the dressing rooms, noticing Han and Felix giggling as your presence became known. This wasn't a usual giggle of theirs, something was going on. You knew that for sure once you saw the way Hyunjin presented himself.

° A sly smirk across his lips as a couple crumpled peace of paper were in between his fingers. His steps were long and powerful, as he held his head up high while nearing you. This usually meant he found something to tease you with.

"I didn't know you liked me for five years, coming up with so many cute pet names if we ever dated." He teased, hiding his blush.

"First of all, you went through my desk without asking me. Second of all, I am whipped for you dumb dumb." You replied.

Han

° You weren't a very vocal person, having trouble expressing your thoughts and emotions through words everyday.

° That reason alone is also why people think you and Han are a perfect match. He helped you come out of your shell and be comfortable in your own skin. All of those actions sent your heart into a frenzy, finding there way into pages filled with emotion.

° Han knew about your habit of writing cute quotes on your palms and arms, or just randomly taking out your journal and starting a new page.

° He respected your privacy even if the temptation of knowing every little thought you have was very very strong, he held back and let you write in peace. However, when you dropped your journal without knowing. Han held it and the temptation took over.

° As you had a chat with Seungmin, he turned around from your eye sight and flipped through the pages. Many of them expressing how much you love him and how much he helped you without him even knowing. This effected Han immensely.

"Hannie are you crying?" you questioned, noticing the forming gloss over his sparkling chocolate orbs.

"Yeah, but it's happy tears. I just never knew how much you cared about me, and it makes me feel important." He explained.

Felix

° You cannot hide anything from this adorable koala, he knows you too well and can find anything you've hidden from him.

° You learned this the hard way when you asked him for help when forgetting where you left your journal, panicking since the last place you saw it was at Minho's. Felix knew you usually placed it near your bed and assumed it to be under the covers.

°His assumption was spot on, but you had no idea that he had found it yet. Felix took this advantage to skim through a few pages, smiling at the sight of his name in the book.

° His name was mentioned ever since the day you first met, January 7th 2017. He was written as this attractive aussie that had your knees weak, he laughed silently at the realization that you fancied him since the first day you met. He loved it.

° Felix walked out with the navy blue book tight in his grip, his ears a bright shade of red. You knew he must've read some sort of page about him, but you weren't nervous about it. It couldn't have been anything more cheesy than what you say on dates.

"I can't believe Han knew about your crush on me that entire time." Felix chuckled, shock filling his expression.

"And I can't believe you never knew how much I truly admired you." You teased back, kissing his freckle speckled cheeks.

Seungmin

° Seungmin met you at a library, you were working on a soft poem about not being able to find the right person.

° That whole meeting seemed like something right off of a romance movie or fanfiction novel. Writing about giving up on love as an amazing guy happens to cross paths with you. But both of you laugh at the whole cliché nature of your meeting.

° Seungmin loved how you wrote, taking him into the story each time. He felt so special whenever he found something referring to your relationship, feeling fuzzy inside.

° He liked to bring some of your poems on tour with him, reminding him to stay strong when being away from you. Letting him know that you'll always be there for him when he needs you, even if you are both countries away from each other.

° Felix once found his stash of poems that you wrote, he never teased him on it but would still smile excitedly at how sentimental Seungmin was becoming. Seungmin knew he was becoming cheesy and mushy, he hated yet loved it.

"Do you know how much you have effected me?" he questioned, tracing the curve of your jaw with his thumb.

"Or maybe you have an addiction to me, ever think of that?" you responded, smiling widely as he rolled his eyes at your words.

Jeongin

° You worked under JYP entertainment to help create songs for different groups, Jeongin noticed you during his break.

° You rarely got to work with Stray Kids since they made 99% of their own songs, but that didn't stop Jeongin from trying to get to know you. It worked in his favor, since you began to develop a living in him after two months of hang out together.

° Jeongin likes hearing certain songs you create or in the process of being created, cheering you on and telling all of his members when you created a song.

° He liked to give you the credit and appreciation you rarely get, most of the credit going towards the artist who performed the songs you created. Jeongin wanted to let you know how proud he was of you daily, even if you got shy from it.

° Whenever you showed him different samples of songs you were working on, he'd dance in his seat with a beaming smile. Even when you were tired and wanted the day to end, his admiration and addicting smile would make your mood change instantly.

"I am just worried because JYP has been pretty harsh on the past few songs." You sighed, tired and frustrated.

"He literally wrote a song about women's butts. I'm pretty sure you're more talented baby." He reassured, patting your head.

#stray kids #kpop #changbin #skz scenarios #stray kids reactions #han jisung #hyunjin #jeongin #lee know #bang chan #skz reactions #skz fluff #skz ff #felix skz #skz seungmin

[disneychannie]

Love story | l. jeno

Pairings: Lee Jeno x reader

Genre: Angst, a pinch of fluff

Word count: 4.07k words (wow hsjfhj)

Warnings: Mentions of severe heartbreak, swearing

Summary: Lee jeno wanted you so badly. As cliché as it always was, he took you for granted and never exactly realised how much you mean to him after you aren’t his anymore.

A/n: Sorry if this is kinda messy :/ found it in the deep dark depths of my drafts and i decided to just add a few other things and yeah lol hope it’s not too bad...

Read part 2 here

What if he tried harder? Would it make a difference? Would you still be with him? Will he still love you?

He’s still young, and for someone who just got into his 20′s, he’s still new with this falling in love thing. Sure, he fell in love countless times back in high school but those were different. It’s always those stupid crushes that would last barely even two weeks. But this, this is different. 

He had liked you since the first day he saw you in his physics lecture hall during freshman year. You sat beside a guy who he assumed was named Renjun and he saw how your eyes would close every time you would laugh whenever Renjun made you laugh and damn, you looked pretty darn cute. He found out from his best friend Jaemin, who is also yours, that you and Renjun have been friends for so long you guys are practically siblings. Once he knew that the two of you weren’t a couple he was at ease. 

One thing tho, who wouldn’t like you? You were the prettiest he’s ever seen. May sound cliche but it’s true. He sat a few rows behind you but it was the perfect seat. He could see a clear view of you; He thought you looked really cute when you’re focused. The way your eyebrows would furrow, and your plump lips forming a straight line as you tried to catch everything the professor said. He should be doing the same thing but he just couldn’t get his eyes over you. 

The first time you talked was at a party that some sophomore named Taeyong threw. He and Taeyong were quite close despite the age gap, they practically had the same circle of friends which made them both instantly close which made Taeyong invite him to his party. He didn’t want to go in the first place but when he heard Jaemin said that you were going to the party, Jeno was ecstatic. He’s not usually the one to go to parties, plus, his alcohol tolerance was pretty bad but if it meant he would see you, it wouldn’t be bad right?

Now Jaemin knows his best friend like the back of his hand and the second he saw Jeno looking at you at that physics lecture, he knew his best friend was head over heels for you. He purposely said that you were coming out loud just so that Jeno could here. In a way, he was probably the reason why you and Jeno were together in the first place. At least at some point.

It was, in fact, his first party in college and the second he steps foot in the party venue, which seemed to be like Taeyong’s house with a few of his friends, it was pretty dang crowded and the smell of alcohol made was soon caught by his nose and he scrunched his face at the strong scent. He went to the party with Jaemin who left his side immediately to join a game of beer pong. Typical Jaemin. Instead, he opted in chugging bottled water. He bumped into Taeyong and did small talk with other people at the party. Something was missing tho, he didn’t see you. Jaemin said you would be here but you were nowhere in sight. Did he lie to him just so that Jeno could go to the party?

He scoffed at the thought and decided on going somewhere quieter where there weren’t any drunkards. He opened a door which seemed to be the master bedroom to only to see a figure standing out the balcony. It was you. He stared at you long enough during lectures to recognize your figure. He wanted to approach you but suddenly he got nervous and he could feel himself getting sweaty. It was ridiculous, really. At the same time, he didn’t want to bother you because of how peaceful you looked. Even when you’re back was facing him, you looked absolutely stunning.

He didn’t want to be a pussy no more so he went to your figure. Slowly pushing the sliding door, the creaking sound it produced made you turn around. Fuck you’re so beautiful. He froze. How can someone be so ethereal? You were wearing simple clothing but it made you look like a goddess. You smiled at him and turned back around

“Tired of the party already?” You spoke. Oh how soothing your voice sounded, he was definitely in love. 

Making his way towards you, he leaned against the railing, mirroring your actions and looked out at the quiet night. The blaring sound of the music was not much heard there and it was perfect. 

“Not much of a party person,” He admitted, which was true though. Jeno was never keen on the idea of partying. “My friend dragged me here,” Which was also true, “How about you?”

You turned your head to him and he was lost in words. You’re so pretty up close in he never thought he would have the chance to even be this close to you. It was dark out but the light from the moon illuminated your face and he could see your beautiful features. 

“Same for me, my friend dragged me here and I guess you can tell that I'm not one to party too,” You replied looking back at the view in front of you.

From there, a new relationship between the both of you started. For some reason, since that day at the balcony, he saw a lot more of you. The occasional “hello’s” coming from you was simple enough to bring him towards the edge. You would laugh every time you saw him blush at your greeting and wow your laugh was just music to your ear. 

The love that Jeno had for you seemed to grow even more and without him realizing, you were starting to like him too. Yes, he was shy most of the time but you liked how easy-going he is despite the slight awkwardness, plus you thought he was kind of cute.

You got closer with him and then study dates were now a thing. At a small coffee shop near the campus where both of you would spend your Friday's at. Passing through notes from your recent lectures and mostly you talking to him. There was something about Jeno that made you open up to him slightly easier. It was shocking though since you weren’t the type to open up to someone that fast even for Renjun it took you a whole year to finally trust him but with Jeno, it only took you a few months. You really liked Jeno.

Not long after, Jeno finally confessed to you and he was finally able to call him yours. It was cliche, the typical walk in the park in the middle of the night as he confessed to you about how much he loved you and to his surprise you told him you loved him too. Right there, under the stars in the middle of the night, you shared your first kiss with him. He loved how soft your lips were and how you tasted like your cherry chapstick. Sweet he thought. Since then, he was addicted to your kisses.

It didn’t take long for the others to find out that both of you are finally together. Jeno could never forget about how Renjun threatened to punch him so hard that his nose will break if he would ever dare to break your heart. He was scared of him for sure, even though Jeno was taller and bigger than him, the smaller bodied Renjun did scare him shitless.

 Being with you was absolute magic for him. He liked how outgoing you are and how it was easy for both of you to communicate. You did have a lot in common which made everything much more easier. Late-night dates driving around town in Jeno’s beat-up truck. It was just perfect. Or so you thought. You loved Jeno with every inch of your being and you thought he did too.

During sophomore year, everything just seemed to be different between you two. The study dates became more infrequent and the text messages have become quieter. You thought this distance was caused by how busy your classes were starting to be. You never really thought about anything else other than that because you trusted Jeno, he was your source of happiness. He wouldn’t do some crazy shit, wouldn’t he?

The others seemed to catch on with whatever was happening between the two of you and they started to get worried. You were like two peas in a pod, inseparable. Now they only see you at their lunch table but you're always buried in some type of assignment while Jeno was never present. You soon realized that Jeno was never around too but every time you asked him about it, it’s always the “I'm busy,” or “I'm tired from today’s class,”. You tried to understand, you really did, but he wasn’t being helpful at all. All you wanted was to see him but he always had to make up an excuse that he wanted to be alone and finish his own assignments. He could be right but there’s something that made his excuse sound sketchy.

Jeno fucked up. He definitely did. He was never busy with assignments. He only had two during the first two weeks of the semester and that was it. It wasn’t even one of those really hard ones where you needed weeks of researching. He just started developing feelings for someone else.

Jeno still loves you, oh he really does but, it was just that when he first started seeing Yeri, it was like a whole new experience. He didn’t know why he was like this when he was clearly still in love with you and the fact that he was cheating on you, totally hit the nail on the head. He tries to forget about Yeri but he couldn’t. All those times he said he couldn't come to see you was because he was meeting up with Yeri. He just liked the way Yeri was just there with him.

He knew he fucked up again when he kissed her. It wasn’t even her who made the first move but him. As their lips were attached with each other, his heart was telling to stop and to think about how you would feel about this but his brain told him that this was something he needed to do and yeah you guessed it, he listened to his brain. The worst thing is that Jaemin knew about this and never told you about it. They just didn’t know how to react. Usually, when Yeri would hang out at Jeno and Jaemin’s shared dorm, Jaemin saw happier he actually looks with Yeri. You might think that Jaemin was being an asshole and not talk about Jeno about this but he has. Just, Jeno’s words got to him and a part of him was somehow okay with this but the other part was trying to hold himself back from punching Jeno in the face. He felt bad for you. You’re one of the sweetest people he knows and he knows that you don’t deserve any of this crap.

Eventually, Jaemin couldn't help himself by telling the rest. The rest were fumed with Jeno, especially Renjun and he even tried to confront Jeno about it but Jaemin held him back because they shouldn’t be meddling in between your relationship with Jeno even when he’s supposed to tell you about all this.

You could tell that the rest was acting different and they were a tad bit nicer to you than usual. Even Donghyuck, who always had to pick a fight with you, became nice. It was weird but you couldn’t comprehend what was happening or why they were acting like this. You then thought back, does this have to do anything with Jeno? Was he cheating on you? You couldn’t think properly that was the only thing you could think of and it was driving you crazy. Thinking about the worst-case scenarios is not something you would do but you haven’t seen your boyfriend for 3 weeks for fuck's sake what else would you think of?

[You]: Jeno can we talk?

It took him quite a while to reply but he finally did.

[Jeno]: Can’t sorry, I'm busy.

That was the last straw for you. It looks like he’s not even trying to make this work. You couldn’t help but cry. You were tired of this and you missed Jeno so much, you’re just confused towards why he was being like this to you. All you have done was be patient with all the shit he put you through and he’s not even trying to even fix this shit up.

Jeno was busy. Busy with Yeri. He didn’t know what made him do all this but Yeri was addicting. He found her kiss to be more comforting than yours and how her lips felt great with his. He has been doing this for weeks now and usually, he would feel extremely guilty as if he committed a crime but now, he felt nothing. Absolutely nothing. The thought of you was somewhere deep in his brain that wasn’t reachable. He wanted to love you again but he just couldn’t. All he could think about was Yeri. Sometimes he would question himself, what happened to freshman Jeno that was head over heels for you? Who would at some point take a bullet for you. He wanted to talk to this about someone and it, of course, he would go to Jaemin.

Jaemin felt bad for his friend, but at the same time, he felt bad for you. He knew Jeno was the cause to all of this but he had known Jeno since the days where they would literally shit themselves and Jeno was like a brother to him. No words would describe how furious he was towards Jeno but he saw how his friend was completely lost in this situation and the moment he saw Jeno cry, it completely broke him. 

“I don’t know what to do Jaemin,” The boy cried as he buried his face in his pillow.

“Do you still love y/n?” He questioned. That made the boy finally look up at him. He doesn’t know how to answer that. Wait, he does, but just doesn’t know how to say it without sounding like a complete dick.

Jeno shook his head. Fresh new tears came rolling down the curve of his cheeks. Jaemin wanted to scream at Jeno for being stupid and instead of breaking up with you, he was literally cheating on you. He was at a loss of words and all he could do was comfort his friend while Jeno cried on his shoulder. Jeno wanted to love again but he just couldn’t. 

“Do you want me to talk to her for you?” Jaemin suggested.

Jeno shook his head and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his sweater. “It’s my problem, I’ll do it myself,” 

The other boy nodded. “Just don’t make her find out on her own,”

Renjun was doing everything he could to comfort you and he knew as your best friend he should be telling you about Jeno but when Jaemin told him that Jeno was going to do it himself, he felt a sense of guilt creeping up to his chest. 

You had enough. Jeno was being completely unreasonable and you have to get to the bottom of this. Arriving at Jeno and Jaemin’s door, you hesitantly knock on the door suddenly feeling nervous all of the sudden. You expected Jeno to open the door but instead, Jaemin did. He was surprised to see you here.

“Oh y/n, what are you doing here?” He said. Voice shaking.

You pushed past him and made your way to Jeno’s room but before you could do so Jaemin grabbed your wrist.

“Y/n, please, I suggest for you not to go in there,” Jaemin begged. 

“Why not Jaemin?” You were now mad. What was he hiding from you?

“As your friend, I'm telling you to not go in there, for your own good,”

You scoffed and shot back. “If you were really my friend, you should be allowing me to do this,”

You were right. Jaemin couldn’t help but sigh and released his grip. You then made your way towards his door. Your arms are shaky as you twisted the knob. Slowly, you opened the door to only see something you wish you wouldn’t have to see in a million years.

There he was. With another girl. Cuddling. On his bed. They looked they were sleeping and even with the girl’s back facing you, you could tell that was Kim Yeri. Of fucking course. Then you turned to Jeno, his arms securing her as if she was fragile and her head buried against his chest. He was smiling. A genuine smile. A smile you’ve never seen before. 

You couldn’t help but let out a sob but quickly moved your hand to your mouth, preventing you from making any noises that could wake them up. You didn’t want to deal with this. You can’t believe your own eyes. The man you love is clearly in love with someone else and it broke your heart even more that he looked happier with her than he was with you.

Turning back, you quickly ran to the front door but Jaemin was quick to catch you. 

“Y/n, wait-,”

“No Jaemin, you don’t have a say in this, I don’t want to see any of your faces ever again,” You spat at him. Realizing his grip from your hand, you ran out the door and just ran, ran, and ran wherever your legs were bringing you to. At some point, you got tired and fell to your knees. You couldn’t control your sobs as they came out, tears running down your faces as you cried loudly. People around you giving you looks, some even with sympathy but you didn’t care. Your chest started to hurt and you were getting dizzy. It felt like someone punched your heart so hard that it completely broke into literal pieces. You kept hitting your chest, trying to get the pain away but it’s not helping. Why would he do this to you? Why couldn’t he break up with you instead of doing this behind your back? And the fact that he looked happy with her in his arms really set you off. He loved her more than he loved you. He was happier with her then he was with you.

Suddenly, you felt arms wrapped around you and instantly knew it was Renjun. You don’t know how in the hell he would find you here but that’s not important. All you need right now is your best friend.

“Why does it hurt so much, Renjun?,” You wailed. Face buried against his shoulder and he could feel your tears damping his shirt. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you y/n, I’m so fucking sorry he did this you,”

-

Jeno soon found out from Jaemin that you saw him cuddling with Yeri and he felt a wave of regret hitting him. He didn’t know what to say. He didn’t know if he should or cry he’s just, speechless. The rest was beyond pissed at him especially Renjun and he can’t forget how threatening Renjun’s glare was towards him every time they passed each other. He also hasn’t seen or heard from you since. He wanted to talk to you and talk things out but you seemed to block his number and his social media and even heard from others that you deactivated your accounts and it was all because of him.

For the first time ever since he has been cheating on you, he missed you. He misses everything about you but, he just couldn’t find the love he had for you anymore. Perhaps these were more of a platonic feeling. He knew he was the bad person here and knew that you weren’t wronged in this. This was just plainly his fault and he’ll gladly take the blame. Imagining how he must’ve hurt you badly really hurts him to the stomach that he couldn’t get rid off.

Jaemin was being a good friend to him and Jeno was glad. In times like this, he really needed his best friend. He wouldn’t even be surprised if Jaemin eventually stopped being friends with him but he’s thankful that Jaemin stayed. Even Jaemin didn’t know what to do. He tried apologizing to you and glad you accepted his apology. Even though you were pissed at him for not telling you about this, it wasn’t his fault that Jeno cheated on you.

You, on the other hand, was a complete mess. Renjun and the rest came to your dorm that day and tried to comfort you as best as they could. You were grateful that you had caring friends like them but it doesn’t sugarcoat the fact that your own boyfriend would cheat on you. Sometimes at night, you would cry thinking about him. Thinking about how happier he is with Yeri never fails to bring tears come rolling down your cheeks.

Eventually, you have to face your biggest fears and talk to Jeno. You guys never officially broke up and you just needed to. So you unblocked his number and texted him.

[You]: Meet me at the park tomorrow after lunch.

Not long after he replied.

[Jeno]: Sure

Jeno was surprised you texted him but then got nervous. He had to end things tomorrow and he just hopes that things get ugly.

-

Jeno arrived at the park earlier than you planned and sat at the bench where you and he always sat and ate your ice-cream’s as you guys enjoyed the sweet treat together. The memory brought a smile to Jeno’s face. You treated him well.

“Surprised you arrived early,” He heard a voice say and he shot up and saw you standing before him. He had to admit, even when you’re face is covered with dried out tears, you still looked beautiful.

Jeno could only give you a small smile as he stood in front of you. You looked like you were about to say something but he beat you to it.

“I’m sorry, Y/n. I truly am,” Jeno started and you looked up at him. “This is not how I wanted things to end,” He continued.

Your eyes started to get watery and before he knows it, they were tears rolling down your soft cheeks.

“I know you are Jeno,” Your voice breaking but you bit lip to prevent yourself from crying. “I, it does hurt me to know that you were going to break up with me in the first place but, I saw how happy you are with her and I'm sorry I couldn’t give you that,” You broke completely as you said those words at the end. Jeno was now crying too. He hated seeing you break like this. Even more, because he was the cause of it.

“Y/n, you did give me happiness and I was happy to be with you for the past year but, I can’t help but love Yeri more,”

You nodded your head and quickly wiped your tears looking back at him. “You made me realize what love really is and I never got to thank you for that, so, thank you,” His voice broke too as he said those words.

“I hope you’re happy with her, I really do. She seems like a keeper,” It was hard for you to say those words but it was true. All this time, all you ever wanted was Jeno to be happy and he is happy now. Even if it’s not with you, you’re still happy that he’s happy though it’s breaking you inside.

Jeno then made a move and pulled you into a hug. Probably the last one. You couldn’t help but let out a cry as you wrapped your arms around him. You missed his touch and you’re sad that this was going to be the last time you’ll ever feel his warmth. He then placed a kiss on your head.

That was it. The end of a love story.

#lee jeno #jeno imagines #jeno #jeno scenarios #lee jeno imagines #lee jeno scenarios #nct dream #nct dream imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct #nct scenarios #nct imagines #angst #nct angst

[seungsols]

[A] We Could Have (Fallen in Love)

Title: We Could Have (Fallen in Love) Pairing: Gyukwan (Mingyu x Seungkwan) Length: 6,986 words Summary: Seungkwan thought he was out of his mind to fall for someone like Mingyu, but it turned out he was just out of time.

Everyday feels like a Monday to Seungkwan.

In the aspect that Monday meant the dread of waking up from such a nice, relaxing Sunday off from work and a slap back into the reality of constant routines that consisted of getting ready for work, working, and getting off from work. He was in no rush when his alarm rang at the side of his bed on the desktop he would eventually clean. The annoying and constant beep were what motivated him to turn it off and sit up in bed.

Seungkwan left the coffee machine on with the mug his best friend, Choi Hansol, gifted him for his birthday as he was humming to himself in the shower. After the quick rinse, he dressed up in his usual work attire—white dress shirt, black dress pants, Oxfords (with brogues), and his messenger bag. With his coffee mug finished and in the sink, he headed out from his quiet, little abode to the loud, large city that surrounded him.

He took his usual route as he checked his phone with his left hand as his right one was shoved into his pocket. Jihoon emailed him that there was a meeting this morning at ten o’clock sharp, making the Jeju boy grimace as he quickened his pace a bit. He wasn’t used to cities and their fast pace, they were nothing like his hometown. Seungkwan couldn’t do anything about it though, there was no point in complaining. He had no time to complain anyway.

With his foot through the meeting room of his company building in the nick of time, Jihoon nodded as he motioned Seungkwan to sit down while he started his presentation.

He sat down next to Hansol as he shuffled quickly to open his laptop to the page of notes that he had made—bullshitted— the night before about the last customers with the problems and solutions he had encountered.

“You’re usually not this late,” Hansol whispered as he kept his eyes on his own laptop while he was typing what Jihoon was saying. “Subway jam?”

“Backed up more than usual,” Seungkwan sighed quietly as he began typing as well. “How were your clients last week?”

“They were alright,” Hansol shrugged. “I had to reboot this one therapist’s whole hard drive and that took me the whole day on Wednesday.”

“Yikes.”

“It wasn’t too bad. He paid for my lunch and even offered to buy me dinner, which, of course, I gladly accepted. I can’t deny free food.”

Seungkwan rolled his eyes.

“Oh, shush. It wasn’t a date. You know I’m not into that scene.”

With Jihoon quickly wrapping up his presentation—which was surprisingly only twenty slides compared to his usual thirty—he assigned his employees their clients for the week. Seungkwan left to go to his desk as Lee Chan, one of their newer employees, complained about one of the clients. Jihoon sighed and nodded before patting Seungkwan’s back at a job well done for last week’s performance.

“Keep it up,” Jihoon whispered with a smile before he continued to walk.

Seungkwan sat at his desk and looked at his client’s name for a moment of silence before pulling up his email and proceeded typing up an introduction before listing the appointment times.

Kim Mingyu Cookbook Developer

Surprisingly, the client replied to the email within the next ten minutes. (Seungkwan’s previous client was rather bad at responding to emails, hence his need to call them to realize that they were unable to attend to their emails because of their computer. He made sure to attend to the client immediately.)

They scheduled for an appointment the day after tomorrow, giving Seungkwan enough time to ready himself as he began scheduling two other appointments following it. They were minor problems since he could access the computers’ remotely, but he preferred to do it days apart and one at a time.

Mingyu’s problem seemed more severe than usual, a case of a virus that infiltrated the user’s hard drive and deleted all the files. Though it was not uncommon, Seungkwan rarely had such cases.

He whined when Hansol threw a piece of paper at him over the cubicle. He pouted and threw it back over as he stood up to look at Hansol. “First of all, that’s rude,” Seungkwan scrunched his nose. “Second of all, why?”

“One, I’m your best friend, I do this all the time.” Hansol grinned as the other rolled his eyes. “Two, this client just emailed me again asking if I wanted to join him for lunch—what do I do?”

“Don’t you always accept free food?”

“When there’s nothing attached.” Hansol stood up as he watched Seungkwan sit back down at his seat. He leaned over and watched his friend type away, still waiting for a solution.

“You’re basically friends with benefits but the benefit is a meal.”

“True, that sounds very accurate. But… I feel bad making him pay again... especially since I know that it’s not because I just rebooted his driver.”

“Well,” Seungkwan stopped typing to look at his dumbfounded co-worker, “let’s just discuss this over lunch.”

“So you two already did it…” Seungkwan glared at Hansol as the spoon fell from his right hand and slipped into his bowl of soup. He grumbled as Hansol just rubbed the back of his neck and tried to reason it out while trying to grab the spoon out of the broth.

“It… just one thing led to another—”

“I really thought you just got food and then he fell for you. But, no, you made things more complicated by actually sleeping with him? Hansol Vernon Choi—”

Hansol whined as he picked his bowl up and slurped it loudly as an attempt to tune out Seungkwan’s lecture. There was no use though since Seungkwan paused and continued when Hansol put the bowl down. “I just wanted to vent, I didn’t want a lecture…”

Seungkwan rolled his eyes as he continued to swirl around the noodles in his bowl that was reaching room temperature. “You need a lecture, you dumbass.”

“Well, what do I do then?”

“Do you like him?”

“I don’t know.”

“What did you say to him in the email?”

Hansol blinked. “Huh?”

“You replied back to the lunch email… right?” The silence and blank expression on Hansol’s face was enough for Seungkwan to stand up and flick his friend’s forehead across the table. “You really are an ass. You should make it up to him.”

Hansol grumbled as he rubbed his forehead and nodded. “Fine, fine. I’ll see if we can do dinner tonight… what about you, Boo?”

“What about me?”

“Anything going on in that part of your life?”

“My love life is dryer than the stale bread I found under your couch last Saturday.” Hansol snickered even though that was a direct attack at him and Seungkwan shrugged. “Guess it’s not my time yet?”

Hansol shrugged back. “Who knows? Maybe you’ll have a thing with your client too.”

-

Seungkwan arrived at the client’s address the next day five ‘til noon. Walking in quietly, he was surprised by how brightly lit the hallway and foyer were, compared to what he was used to with his dimly lit apartment and office. The assistant at the desk led him down the hallway filled with various pictures of whom appeared the be his client with chefs.

He eventually was on his own after the assistant knocked on the door and left, leaving Seungkwan a bit uneasy being so deep in a building he was unfamiliar with. His body jolted when he heard the gears of the doorknob turn and it opened as a man about the same stature as him stood before him and pushed up his glasses over the bridge of his nose.

They greeted each other formally with a polite bow and handshake before Seungkwan was invited into Mingyu’s workspace. Just as the rest of the building, it was brightly lit, something Seungkwan was beginning to envy. The natural light from the window that stretched from the ceiling to the floor lit the books sprawled over Mingyu’s desk as he unlocked his desktop for Seungkwan to see the problem.

“I haven’t been able to access my files since three days ago,” Mingyu ruffled his hair before coughing and fixing his glasses once more. “It’s a good thing the book draft isn’t due anytime soon but, y’know, the sooner the files can be recovered, the better.”

Seungkwan nodded as Mingyu stood up from his seat and Seungkwan sat down, scooting the chair much closer than originally. Mingyu leaned in with his left hand on the desk as Seungkwan placed a thumbdrive into the monitor and began installing the company’s software. Mingyu nodded as Seungkwan explained what the software does with its algorithms that look into every piece of information left on the hard drive to see where the files were physically stored.

But he wasn’t paying much attention to that. His eyes were caught by how the sun that filtered into the room lit Seungkwan’s hair to a soft beige, much like latte photos he shot last week. The way the worker’s hair swirled reminded him of the caramel swirl that was also prevalent in the photoshoot. It was a habit that only photographers in his field could relate to, but Mingyu’s comparisons had him entranced to Seungkwan.

“So, what exactly do you do?” Seungkwan coughed as he kept scrolling through the coding on the screen in front of him to break the awkward silence.

Mingyu shook his head to fall back into reality as he coughed in reply. “Oh, I’m a cookbook developer.”

Seungkwan glanced over and blinked in confusion, the two of them sharing a quick glance, before he quickly looked back at the screen. “So… you take pictures?”

“Not only that. I work with chefs, try their food, and watch them create their recipes step-by-step in order to make it easy to follow for average kitchen experimenters.”

“You sound like you’ve answered that question before,” Seungkwan snickered as Mingyu smiled back and joined in. “That sounds pretty cool though.”

“Yeah, it’s not a common job to have. But it is pretty nice.”

“Seems nicer than my job,” Seungkwan sighed.

“But you make a good amount of money, right? I bet you have a lot of clients as well since you guys are a software company.”

“I suppose. It puts bread on the table, but it isn’t anything exciting.”

Mingyu tapped the pads of his fingers on his thigh as he leaned over a bit more, close enough to properly observe the monitor and computer technician but far enough to keep a respectable distance. He wasn’t really sure why, but there was a comforting aura that Seungkwan emitted that filled Mingyu’s office space with something undeniably yet unknowingly serene.

Seungkwan leaned back in the seat as he watched the monitor restart and Mingyu gasped in excitement as he saw his desktop appear back to normal with the files present as if they were never deleted.

“Wow, thank you so much!” Mingyu gasped in relief as they traded spots again, Mingyu scrolling through, making sure every single file he needed was located. Seungkwan nodded as he pulled his jacket from the back of the chair and began putting his arms through his sleeves.

Mingyu smiled to fill the awkward silence as he led Seungkwan out of the room towards the exit. They walked somewhat side by side, Mingyu a step ahead as he was the one who mastered maneuvering through his building with Seungkwan following him. As Mingyu glanced back, Seungkwan’s gaze was glued to his phone as he looked up slightly to follow Mingyu’s shoes against the hardwood.

“Am I your only client today?” Mingyu asked, an attempt to start a conversation.

Seungkwan looked up and nodded. “Well, the only client who scheduled an appointment. I might be assigned someone else when I get back.”

“Why don’t I treat you out to lunch?” Mingyu offered. Seungkwan looked up and the two made eye contact, the younger holding a surprised facial expression.

“Oh, you don’t really need to, I can just grab a bite to eat nearby.”

“No, please, let me. It’s the least I could do for what you did for me. Plus, I know a great restaurant. Believe me, I personally know the chef.”

He knows better, Seungkwan definitely knows better since this is how Hansol’s love life ignited. He kept his eye contact duration at a minimum as he did not want to spark any interest in Mingyu. But it was free food, he would be a fool to throw that offer out the window.

It was one lunch date with a client. It was barely a date, it was just an outing. A professional outing with a purpose of gratitude. Surely this couldn’t lead to anything more serious to Seungkwan.

But surely, Seungkwan was wrong.

The following week, Seungkwan had Thursday off and decided to pay a visit to Soonyoung who relocated to Mapo for a job promotion. He knew he could trust him with these thoughts of Mingyu that raced through his head, especially since he had too much pride to admit to Hansol that they were in a similar situation. It has only been less than a week and yet Seungkwan can’t get the lunch date—he admits it being a date now— with Mingyu out of his mind.

During the lunch date with Mingyu, Seungkwan made a promise to himself not to allude to any future meetings with each other, which was quickly broken when him and Mingyu started to talk about themselves.

Seungkwan was surprised that Mingyu opened up to him—a data recovery employee he had just met a few hours ago. “I really love to cook,” Mingyu smiles as the two of them were waiting for their food to arrive at their table. “I’ve always been interested by it, it’s fascinating how I could combine a few ingredients together to create something new—a totally new creation.”

Mingyu grinned and Seungkwan couldn’t help but smile back. “Sounds like you’re really passionate… but, then, if you don’t mind me asking, why didn’t you become a chef?”

“Money,” Mingyu sighed. Seungkwan nodded in understanding. The taller one sipped his water and placed it on the table gently, sliding it back to its original position as he pulled his hand back and rubbed it on his thigh. “Plus, I lived with my grandma when I was younger so she couldn’t really afford to pay for culinary school… but I enjoyed my time cooking with her when she was alive.”

Seungkwan pouted. “Condolences.”

“Thank you, but she’s in a better place.” Mingyu smiled. “I got a communications degree at university and somehow ended up being hired by a company that develops cookbooks.” He chuckled a bit. “It’s pretty ironic, isn’t it?” The two nodded before Mingyu blinked and shook his head. “Oh, gosh, sorry. I’m talking too much about myself— what about you?”

“Me?” Seungkwan blinked. He shrugged before putting his water down. “I… there isn’t much really. I like computers and went to university with my best friend for it and now we work for a software company.”

“That’s pretty exciting,” Mingyu nodded. “I’m pretty bad at computers… hence, why we came into contact in the first place.” They shared a laugh before their waitress came over with their plates of food. Seungkwan oohed at how ornamented the food was displayed when it was set down on the placemats. They thanked her before Seungkwan grabbed his fork excitedly. “Wait!” Mingyu gasped.

Seungkwan blinked up and froze in his position and watched as Mingyu took out his phone while standing up before reorganizing their plates as he began shooting photos. “Um…” Seungkwan coughed, still in position, “what are you doing?”

“Oh, sorry,” Mingyu hummed as he walked around the table for a better photo angle, “this is something I do a lot… I appreciate the aesthetics of food as much as the creation of it.”

As intriguing as it sounded and as attractive as Mingyu looked while he was passionately taking photos of Seungkwan’s pasta, Seungkwan’s stomach had a mind of its own as it kept rumbling. He continuously rubbed it before Mingyu sat down and they could proceed eating. Sighing in relief, the younger one started eating and his eyes widened at how delicious the dish he ordered satisfied his taste buds.

Seeing the reaction, Mingyu grinned as he began eating his own food. “Good, huh?”

“Really good!” Seungkwan exclaimed with a mouth full of food. Mingyu snickered, Seungkwan blushing in embarrassment but also from Mingyu’s adorable expressions—which he didn’t admit until hours later.

The second Seungkwan stepped back into his apartment, it quickly dawned upon him that his routine had been broken. The Monday vibes that followed him throughout the week came to a halt when he finally realized it was only Wednesday afternoon and he had just came back from a lunch date with his client.

“It wasn’t a date,” he kept mumbling to himself as he set his bag down in its usual spot as he walked to his closet to change into more comfortable clothes. He came out in jogging pants as he went back to the kitchen, catching himself off-guard when he searched on his phone for pasta recipes for tonight’s dinner. He knew his usual routine of ordering jajjangmyeon is unhealthy but it was his routine. Cooking was not his routine. Neither was thinking of someone—whom he just met that day—the entire day.

Mingyu was not part of his routine.

But he could be.

When Soonyoung heard about his younger friend’s intuitive thoughts he gasped happily and hugged him tightly. “A-ah, hyung—” Seungkwan heaved as he felt the oxygen being squeezed out of him.

“Sorry, sorry!” Soonyoung giggled as he pulled back and fixed Seungkwan’s shirt. “I’m just really happy for you.” They continued their conversation at a nearby cafe as Soonyoung was on an hour break anyway. “You should stay the night,” Soonyoung hummed as he offered a spoonful of the bingsoo to his friend. “The subway ride isn’t that bad here, right?”

“It’s only an hour.” Seungkwan nodded as he opened his mouth and let his hyung feed him.

“Perfect! I’ll pull out the couch for you. So this guy, Mingyu, right?”

“Y-yeah that’s his name… Hyung, it’s weird though… I shouldn’t fall for someone so fast, right? Shouldn’t it take some time?”

Soonyoung paused with the spoon hovering over his tongue as he smiled cheekily. “So you admit you fell for him?”

Realizing the words that had just escaped his mouth, Seungkwan dropped his own spoon on the table and rubbed his cheeks. “Shit… Hyung, I’m really new to this.”

“I can tell. Do you want to talk to Junnie about it? He’s better at this sort of thing than me.”

Seungkwan shrugged. “Ah, maybe… but I’d rather just keep it between us. I don’t really want anyone else to know. Hansol doesn’t even know.”

Gasping, Soonyoung held his shirt dramatically as his chair scooted back a bit. “Really? I know before your best friend?” He pretended to sniffle and dabbed the napkin over his eyes. “I’m so touched, I really am your favourite hyung.”

“You’re about to me second after Jihoon hyung,” Seungkwan grumbled as he picked his spoon back up and kept eating. “Should I ask for a second date?”

“Do you have his number?”

“I have… his email.”

“That’s a bit weird, don’t you think? Shouldn’t emails be, y’know, professional?”

“It’s all I have.” Seungkwan pouted. “What? Should I personally ask him at his work building?”

“That’s a good idea!”

“Wha— no, Hyung that’s a terrible idea! And I’ll tell you why!”

“I’m listening,” Soonyoung leaned over and grinned to tease Seungkwan. Seungkwan pouted in response. Before looking down and silently admitting defeat. “I know you’re shy and emailing seems like the best way to handle this, but maybe you should do it in person. It shows you’re more interested too.”

Seungkwan never really believed in pep talks, especially ones to himself, but he constantly gave himself pep talks the whole way back to Gangnam. From his subway stop to the next subway line towards Mingyu’s building, with the five minute walk in between before reaching the actual address. He stood in front of the door, just like the first time he had, and took a deep breath before marching in with the plan of walking straight to Mingyu’s office.

He forgot about the front desk as soon as he stepped in and sheepishly walked over to her to ask for Mingyu. She replied that he was out of the office and at a restaurant working with a chef at their restaurant as they currently speak. A bit discouraged, Seungkwan was about to give up but he boldly asked for the location address, which she kindly gave to him.

It took another forty-five minute subway ride as Seungkwan attempted to casually walk by the restaurant before he almost lost his balance when he saw Mingyu through the window plating a dish with cameras and lighting surrounding the table. Thankfully, Mingyu spotted him and waved him to come inside so Seungkwan wouldn’t make a fool of himself.

The hug—the warm and secure hug—that Mingyu greeted Seungkwan with was surprisingly pleasant and left him dazed as Mingyu pulled back. “Funny seeing you here, I’m just getting ready this plate of food ready for its shoot.”

“I thought you just write cookbooks.”

Mingyu shook his head before shrugging. “Well, I do do that, but I also do this on the side for another company. Funny, my whole life revolves around food,” he chuckled. Seungkwan blushed a bit and nodded.

He took a deep breath before sighing. “Actually, I was wondering… are you… when… um… I… what are you doing after this?”

“Um… probably going to just head back to my place and edit these pictures… why, do you have plans?”

Seungkwan shook his head. “I… do you want to go to dinner? I mean— out to dinner? Or maybe into dinner? If we decide to go to my place… oh gosh—” he turned his head and coughed as Mingyu smiled.

“I’d love to have dinner with you. Actually, maybe I can cook something for you and bring it over? I love cooking for people.”

“I love eating other people’s cooking,” Seungkwan joked, smiling when Mingyu laughed at his at attempt of a corny joke. They exchanged numbers and Seungkwan sent him his address before he waved at Mingyu to leave him to his business. “I’ll see you at seven?”

“Seven’s good for me,” Mingyu grinned.

-

“You usually don’t call this early,” Junhui snickered into the receiver as Seungkwan grasped on the other line. “Soonyoung’s still asleep and he left his phone in the kitchen to charge.”

“Ah… Hyung… I was just—”

“Dont worry, he told me everything. You know your Hyung.” Seungkwan groaned but accepted it as Junhui hummed. “So? How was your home dinner with Mingyu, was it?”

“Yeah, his name is Mingyu,” Seungkwan nodded before sighing. “Hyung, I think he’s too perfect for me.”

“What do you mean?” Junhui asked as he unplugged the phone and walked back to the bedroom and smiled when he saw Soonyoung sprawled across their bed. “I don’t think anyone can be too perfect, Seungkwan.”

“Hyung, you haven’t met Kim Mingyu. He can cook, he can clean, he’s tall, he’s handsome, he’s—everything.”

Junhui chuckled. “I don’t think that’s everything, Seungkwan,” he replied as he fixed the blanket and pulled it up to Soonyoung’s shoulder as he sat down next to him. “But it seems like you really like him.”

Seungkwan whined as he lied back down on his own mattress as he turned his head to look at the kitchen where he remembered when Mingyu taught him how to cut tomatoes properly the night before. “I just… maybe I need to slow my roll.”

“Did he spend the night?”

“No, he has another restaurant photoshoot thing in the morning. I would have let him stay though otherwise. Or is that moving things too soon? Oh my gosh, Hyung, this is so hard.”

“Just breathe, Seungkwan,” Junhui suggested as he continued to stroke Soonyoung’s head as he scooted closer to Junhui on the mattress. “Are you guys official yet?”

“What does that mean?”

“Y’know, you’re actually dating? An official couple? Though, I take it from that question that you two aren’t.”

“We… aren’t.” Seungkwan sighed.

“Do you want to be official?”

“I don’t know, Hyung. I just… don’t know.”

“Still no response?” Seokmin asked, pouring a cup of tea in the kitchen as Mingyu leaned back against the couch and sighed before locking his phone.

“Nothing. Won’t even respond to my texts even though I know he read them.”

Seokmin walked over with the two mugs to accompany his friend. Mingyu pulled out the coasters before Seokmin set them down on the table. “Maybe he’s busy?”

“I don’t think it’s possible to be busy enough to ignore someone’s messages and phone calls for practically a month.” Mingyu sighed and blew on the tea before sipping it carefully, feeling the warmth distribute throughout his entire body. “I think… he got over me.”

“Mingyu, don’t say that,” Seokmin frowned as he held his own cup of tea, keeping his palms warm. “I’m sure there’s more to this than you think.”

Sitting up and placing the mug back on the coaster, Mingyu shook his head. “You’re giving him too much benefit of the doubt, Seok. I wanted to tell him so much, I thought we… I thought we clicked really well, but I guess the feelings died down on his end.”

“Well,” Seokmin sighed as he rubbed the taller one’s back, “what about that job interview you have next week? What if you get it?”

“It’s my dream job. I want it more than anything,” Mingyu exhaled before turning his head to look  over at his friend’s sympathetic expression before smiling. “If I get it, it’s surely meant to be. But… I just wish that I’d get his opinion on it. It would mean a lot to me.”

“You don’t have to be strapped down for someone, you know that.”

“I know that. I definitely know that. But… I just… Seok, I would stay for him.”

“Wow, this is really something, huh?” Seokmin asked, smiling when Mingyu shyly nodded before rubbing the back of his neck. “You know normally, I would have texted Minghao to come over and smack sense into you, but I think he would be behind me when I say that if you really like him, then let’s see what happens then.”

“You mean—?”

“I mean, if you get the job and he answers your call and convinces you to stay, then we won’t stop you from staying for him.”

“—and for you guys—”

“No, you know we’d always stay in contact with you,” Seokmin grinned. “If you and Seungkwan are meant to be, then let’s wait until after that interview.”

“You’re awfully quiet these days during lunch, even for you,” Hansol observed as he nudged Seungkwan by kicking his ankle under the table. Seungkwan shook out of his train of thought and shrugged as he went back to eating his food. “And you don’t really eat anything except salads either… Are you… okay?”

“I’m peachy,” Seungkwan responded with a mouth full of lettuce in his mouth.

Hansol snickered and offered a napkin when part of the dressing dripped from Seungkwan’s fork. He watched his friend wipe it before he pouted a bit. “You’re not telling me something.”

“I tell you everything.”

“Except whatever’s on your mind right now, apparently.”

“There’s nothing on my mind now.”

“You ignored my whole spiel of how Seungcheol Hyung and I are official.” Hansol pouted before jumping when Seungkwan dropped his fork on the floor and his eye twitched. “Something’s definitely going through your mind, Boo.” He offered to help clean up but frowned when Seungkwan nudged him not to as he cleaned up the spill and fork off the floor. “Seungkwan…”

“I fell in love with a client too,” Seungkwan confessed.

Hansol blinked. “Oh, you did? That one you had like two months ago?”

“Yeah, that’s the guy. Kim Mingyu. Mr. Perfect. He’s so perfect, Hansol, oh my gosh—”

Processing the information, Hansol gradually smiled. “Well, I’m happy for you—”

“We haven’t talked in three weeks,” the other sighed. He began eating his salad once again as Hansol pushed his plate of pasta on the side before leaning his elbows on the table.

“Why?”

“Did you not hear what I said? He’s so perfect… I can’t fall in love with someone like that. Not someone like me.”

“Whoa whoa, slow down,” Hansol leaned in closer and patted his best friend’s arm. “Nobody said anything about falling in love yet. Just if you like him and he likes you back.”

“That’s the problem… I think we like each other but I don’t think we should fall in love with each other.”

It was silent for the rest of the lunch break. Hansol didn’t want to push Seungkwan too far with questions and Seungkwan didn’t want to vent that much about the subject. This was new to them, being quiet to each other, but they began to open up into conversation again as they headed back to the office.

“Has he been trying to talk to you?”

“I’ve been ignoring his texts and calls…”

“Seungkwan… that’s not how relationships work.”

“I know—no, actually no. I don’t know how relationships work. I don’t know how any of this shit works!” Seungkwan ruffled his hair as Hansol patted his back. He sighed. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to tell you earlier but… it might be too late now.”

“You know it’s never too late to fix this, right? And, who knows— maybe he feels the same way about you.”

He took a long and thoughtful look at his best friend before Seungkwan shook his head back to reality. “I’m sorry, I’m just surprised that you actually gave me good and legitimate advice.”

“Oh, fuck you too,” Hansol grunted before the two of them laughed together. “Let me stay over, it’s been awhile since I have and I want to be there for you when you talk to Mingyu.” Seungkwan raised an eyebrow at Hansol’s kind gesture before his friend sighed. “Yeah, okay, Seungcheol might be out of town for the weekend and I might need company so—” Seungkwan snickered as Hansol’s cheeks turned red out of embarrassment before smiling when Seungkwan offered his place.

“That’s strange,” Seungkwan grumbled as he was brushing his teeth in the bathroom while pulling the phone away from his left ear.

“What strange?” Hansol asked loudly from the living room, causing Seungkwan to jump surprised.

“He isn’t picking up. His phone leads straight to voicemail.”

“Why would you call him while brushing your teeth?” Hansol laughed. “Were you really going to talk to him with all that foam in your mouth?”

Seungkwan spit out the toothpaste in his mouth before rinsing and walking out with a pout towards the couch where his best friend was settled with a blanket and extra pillow. He sat down and whined. “I can just spit out the foam, you know…” He sighed. “He really didn’t pick up though.”

“Well, maybe his phone died,” suggested Hansol. Seungkwan sighed and nodded, mumbling how he’ll call in the morning before Hansol looked over and saw the voicemail icon on the status bar. “Have you not checked your voicemail.”

“You know I never check my voicemail.”

“Do you see how much voicemail you have?” Hansol gasped as he picked up Seungkwan’s phone. “There’s so many! These are all probably Mingyu Hyung too, I think you should listen to them. He probably wanted to tell you a lot… It would also be polite to when he picks up the phone tomorrow morning.”

“Y-yeah… I guess that’s fair,” Seungkwan nodded as he picked up his phone and put it to his ear to hear the messages. He felt his heart melt at the sound of Mingyu’s voice, but that smile began to fade with every message he heard.

“Hey, Kwannie. I had a really fun night cooking for you at your place last week. I’m really sorry I couldn’t stay over. I would have loved to. Maybe we could do it again? I was thinking this weekend. Let me know!”

“You’re pretty bad at responding these days,” Mingyu chuckled. “I hope you’re doing well. Anyway, I was really inspired by all of the encouragement you gave me the other night and, well, I decided that I was going to pursue cooking again. Not only for my grandma, but for you as well. I’ve been talking to the chefs I work with to help me see what I can do. Ah, I just wanted to thank you again for that. I hope I can repay you for this.”

“Are you doing okay? I don’t really hear from you as much. Or at all,” Mingyu mumbled. “Anyway, I have an interview in two days and, well, it would mean a lot if I could get your opinion on it? The job, I mean. It’s just that, if I get it then it means that I would leave the country to pursue culinary school. The chefs put in a good word for me too, so I might actually have a chance but I don’t want to make a decision before I hear your input because, well, it means a lot to me. I hope you call me back.”

Seungkwan never bothered hearing the last message in his inbox as he threw his phone onto the loveseat adjacent to the couch, making Hansol squeal at the action before he saw Seungkwan sniffling, tears dripping onto his thighs.

“Kwan?” Hansol softly called out as he frowned and saw Seungkwan burst into tears. He quickly scooted over and threw the blanket over the crying one’s shoulders and pulled him closer. He rubbed his shoulders and let Seungkwan lean on his own. “Kwan, what happened?”

“I’m such a dumbass… he… he really felt the same way.”

He couldn’t stand seeing his friend like this. “Then, l-let’s camp out of his company building tonight!” Seungkwan looked up, shocked, while wiping the continuous tears rolling down his cheek. “I’m serious! Since you don’t know where he lives, at least you know where he works, right? We’ll just wait there until he comes to work! And then— then, you two can work things out, okay?” Seungkwan couldn’t speak but just nodded as Hansol stood up and pulled the blanket off the two of them and went to get their shoes. “We’ll make it work, Kwan.”

Seungkwan was surprised to wake up to the front desk worker nudging him as he leaned against the building, sitting on the concrete floor covered in a blanket with Hansol sleeping on his shoulder. “Oh good,” she sighed in relief. “I just came to open up and— are you looking for Mingyu?” Seungkwan’s eyes quickly widened after he rubbed his eyes to adjust to the bright atmosphere before he felt his heart drop as her smile changed. “He doesn’t work here anymore.”

“W-what?” Seungkwan asked in disbelief. “B-but— w-what happened?”

“Did he not tell you?” she pouted as she kneeled down to his eye-level. “He got a new job—his dream job—so he resigned here and moved just this morning.”

From the conversation, Hansol woke up and was also surprised to see the worker in front of them. He pouted when he looked over at Seungkwan and saw how much his hands were shaking while gripping his legs tightly close to his chest.

“W-where did he move?”

“Paris.”

Hansol blinked. “Mingyu moved to Paris?”

“That’s right. One of the chefs here gave a recommendation to his alma mater about Mingyu and they accepted him just two days ago.” Before Seungkwan could ask where Mingyu went, she stood up when her alarm went off as she bid the two farewell and entered the building. Seungkwan sat completely still, processing what had just happened before he frantically pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Mingyu’s number.

The number you have reached is unavailable as it is no longer in service.

“Fuck, no,” Seungkwan’s voice trembled. He redialed at least four times, persistently hearing the same message before Hansol grabbed the phone out of his hands. Seungkwan covered his face and began to sob. “I’m… too late…”

“No, no don’t say that. We’ll find a way, Kwan—”

“I don’t think... there are anymore... ways around this, Sol,” Seungkwan shook his head while still covering his face, both of them paying no attention to the increasing number of bystanders that kept glancing at them as the morning rush came around. “We really weren’t meant to be…”

Hansol frowned before gripping onto Seungkwan’s shoulders and shaking him. “Kwan, listen to yourself, you sound like a complete fool!”

“I am a fool!” Seungkwan wailed. “A fool who was in love and a fool who let that all slip away from such stupid and foolish thoughts!” Hansol let Seungkwan cry on his shoulder, rubbing his back as an affectionate sign of solace—the only thing he could offer at this time. The two headed back to Seungkwan’s apartment, thankful that they both had the day off.

Looking over, seeing his friend mumbling to himself—of probably negative thoughts—Hansol nudged him. “Seungkwan…” the other looked up as Hansol sighed. “We’ll find a way, okay?”

“Okay…” Seungkwan replied hopelessly.

“Hey… if you two were really meant to be, it’ll happen. It was just the wrong time.”

Seungkwan sighed. “Sol, I told you before. I don’t think we’re meant to be together.”

“Yes, Hyung, I heard you loud and clear,” Seungkwan rolled his eyes as he was filing through paperwork on his desk that Jihoon handed him just this morning. “I’m almost done with this and then I’ll go grab the other files from the third floor after lunch.” After Jihoon gave more instructions, Seungkwan sighed in relief as he hung up his phone. He checked his watch and grumbled how he had to meet Hansol downstairs in a few minutes for lunch.

He rushed down after going through all the papers, thankful that Chan was his assistant now so that he could finish the job for him. After being promoted two ranks, Seungkwan’s focus from work transitioned from client work to paperwork. He didn’t mind though, he didn’t have to run in and out of the building every other day, but he shifted between the third and fourth floor constantly. It was less of a demanding task to his mind and body though.

Seungkwan managed to walk out of the building just in time as Hansol showed up outside the door. “Hey, wow, look at you with your cool pin Jihoon hyung gave you,” Hansol snickered as Seungkwan pushed his face away.

The two walked to the new restaurant that had just opened last week that became a local favourite to their little pocket of town. Hansol managed to squeeze a reservation last minute thanks to Seungcheol for knowing the management. They both oohed at the sight of the building’s interior as the host led them to their table.

“Shit,” Seungkwan whispered, “the food here must be really expensive then.”

“Good think you’re paying then, huh?” Hansol snickered as they both sat down. After looking over at the menu and ordering their food, they began catching up as Hansol was complaining about graduate school. “Yeah, it’s been rough,” Hansol sighed as he rubbed his neck, “but Cheol hyung has been a really good support line… I mean, you know, besides my best friend.”

“Yeah, you better not forget about me!” Seungkwan rolled his eyes. “Leaving me and going back to school to pursue a master’s degree? I mean, who does that?” Hansol raised his hand and laughed when Seungkwan kicked his leg under the table before sighing. “I’m happy for you though, Sol. You two seem serious too, huh?”

“Thank you,” Hansol smiled. “Yeah, Hyung and I moved in together just last month. It was a big step for the two of us but… we’re happy. I’m happy for you too. You’ve been doing alright, right?”

Seungkwan shrugged, eyeing the food coming over to their table before smiling. “Yeah, more or less. Same old, same old.” Before eating, Seungkwan told Hansol to freeze, causing him to squeal, only to sigh and chuckle when he watched Seungkwan take his phone out and stand up, rearranging the plates before taking multiple pictures.

“Wow, you still do this?” Hansol snickered.

“Old habits, I guess,” Seungkwan hummed before he sat back down and Hansol started scarfing down his food. Just by the mere smell of the food, Seungkwan felt a sense of comfort, a sense of familiarity, a sense of love. Then again, he was probably just hungry. With that first bite, he paused. Hansol looked over while wiping his mouth and blinked at his friend’s blank expression. Seungkwan, shaking out of his trance, called over their waiter. “C-can you send my compliments to the chef? Or can I… possibly see the chef?”

“Well,” the waiter hummed, “since this is still considered opening week, let me call him out for you.” Seungkwan smiled thankfully as the waiter left, leaving Hansol puzzled.

The second those double doors opened and their eyes met, Seungkwan’s heart started racing just as it did before. Hansol, still confused, turned around to see the sous chef— fitting a familiar description of someone Seungkwan had met and grew fond of years ago. Hansol snickered and nudged Seungkwan under the table. “Great timing, huh?”

#seventeen fanfics #seventeen #17writernet #fluff #angst #gyukwan #mingyu #seungkwan

[lianashorcrux]

// Internship Journey

TBWA \ Kuala Lumpur has championed and continuously built great Malaysian and International brands by staying true to its philosophy of DISRUPTION. It is known for breaking the convention and taking the brand forward with a vision.

The crucial part of internship is of course, to get interviews with the companies that I had shortlisted to intern in. The first mock interview was arranged by Fiyon and I will never forget how it went. Before entering the room with the interviewer, I had a bunch of feelings that started to stew in me. I felt excited, anxious and nervous all at once. I was mostly quiet and only responded to questions as per and did not care to elaborate my answers to lengthen the conversation. As a result, they concluded that I was “shy”, although anyone who had known me for long would swear by that I’m actually quite the opposite.

When the time came for us to drop resumes and mailers to the companies of our choosing, opportunities began to drop in my palm, as if life were giving me lemons. I was lucky to had attended the sCoolers award where I met Gigi Lee and Vijay Anand, two renown designers in Malaysia and both had agreed to give me a chance to intern in their companies. BBDO has a very upbeat, in-trend, and they had an intense energy about them whilst TBWA had a corporate seriousness vibe surrounding the office. I was intrigued by the size of the creative department in TBWA, called Creative Juice. So I made l took my lemons, went to Creative Juice and made lemonades ;) The first few days of the internship was fun and tough at the same time, briefs were coming in in such - what it seem at that point - a short deadline. I was happy to work on them knowing that these workload will better my time-management skills in the future. I now can say college gave us more than an ample amount time to work on a project and that sort of luxury rarely exist in advertising.

Besides working on the general jobs, I had been given two self initiative project by Gigi Lee, CCO of TBWA and Sa’ad Hussein, Chairman of Tbwa separately. These task were very interesting because it did not require problem solving, but it needed creativity instead. On Fridays, job briefs stopped coming in at 4pm because we have what they call TGIF. All creatives will gather and present their ideas for any open briefs given to us prior to the meeting. During these meeting, anyone can speak their thoughts aloud if they had any. For the interns, 5 ideas are mandotory. Once a month, TBWA has a Townhall meeting. Everyone has to attend, from Tequila to Disruptive to Creative Juice to MakeLab. Here, things like the company’s performances and issue highlights are presented so that all pirates (employees cute lil nickie) are aware of the company’s wellbeing. Other than that, two pirates are chosen to do a presentation on any topic they wish. I had attended two of Townhall meetings and I think the slides presented are a breath of fresh air.

Being an intern is easy. I make coffee, work the copy machine and get lunches for my bosses. Right? Wrong. Being an intern in a fast moving advertising agency can be strenuous, the hours are demanding and one must be committed. I learn that being an intern is not a piece of cake, it’s the whole shebang. I had to be ready to for a working level position because that is what was expected of me. I knew what my strength were in graphic design, I can work with Illustrator the best and photo manipulation the second best but my employers needed versatility. You are not expected to contribute ideas and sketches but it’s better if you do and at the same time, offer an extra hand even if you already have two handful and half of work.

I learn that it takes a village to come up with something amazing and everyone has to supply their equal share of labour. The general picture involves the strategy team, the suites (the people who handles the client), and the creatives. Within the hierarchy of the general picture, unfolds a narrower system amongst the creative team. First, a group is formed consisting of an art director, copy writers, senior art designers, junior designers and .. the intern (me!). We start by brainstorming ideas and pick the best of minimum two ideas. The ideas were then conceptualized visually so that it can be presented to the clients. The ideas chosen by the clients will then be executed. If things comes out smoothly, this is the process I would normally go through. However, many times that wasn’t the case. There were times where we had to repeat the ideation process 2 to 3 times before it passes by the art director, but the team often pull through high tides and nail the job.

As far as being busy goes, mistakes were learned along the way. Little things that I use to overlook are now crucial to get right by. For example, exporting files in the appropriate size. Is the file for print of just for the purpose of showing them to the clients? It’s not practical to send a 500MB file to the client, so I learned that little things, most of the times are the big things. I also learned that taking notes and scamping are the foundation of any ideas, it needed to grow on a piece of paper first before going on screen. I dare say I enjoy being busy at work, it gave me a sense of purpose and accomplishment. I take a little bit of pride in knowing that I had contributed in the company’s closed jobs.

Before getting myself into the internship, I had one thing I expected out of it. Firstly, I was hoping to get tutoring on the technicality of my design process and the knick knacks of doing things faster. The senior designers I had work with helped me a lot with how I work my Illustrator, they thought me shortcuts that easily compress the timeframe of work in half. Whenever I am stuck, I ask for their opinion. Everyone around was happy to give an input and this has helped to solve many problems. The input that they give personally improve my train of thoughts because they are usually things that I hadn’t thought of. From this I know that it takes more than one eye to spot a mistake.

The biggest difficulty I faced during internship was earning my place within the company. Working in with a large size of creatives means that you had to be either very talented and unique or very hardworking. Knowing that I’m neither talented or unique, I had to work hard and try to avoid screwing up. However, making mistakes is inevitable and I had to learn from it. Besides that, I assimilate the willingness to learn. I cannot get upset easily, instead I take comments as constructive criticism and put effort on improving my weaknesses. This is how I show eagerness and passion, to prove that I am serious about my work. The design process at workplace is a journey of lessons that cannot be found in a classroom. Failure might sound demotivating but that is how I know I still have so much room for improvement. In the end of the day, I know I’ll come out to be a tougher cookie. All in all, I realized that you had to notice your own potential to grow and take everything you can during the internship to seed your own growth because no one else will do it for you. My advice to anyone who’s going to do their internship is, find a company that suits your needs and trust your instinct. As an intern:

Be inquisitive and have your thoughts heard as well. Communication only works when it is practiced both ways.

Always be open to learn new things and don’t try to take comments personally, it’s strictly work.

Build friendships in general but also remember to keep it professional between your colleagues.

Always take notes during feedback! It’s crucial to get things right for your second draft.

When things get rough, always remember that this is only the beginning of yet another long voyage.

#Internship #graphic design #TBWA #TBWAKL

[junker-town]

My awkward, long-lost Geocities page about Michigan football makes me feel 13 forever

The internet was a much simpler place in 2001. It was also WAY more embarrassing.

Welcome to the Geocities website I made about Michigan football when I was 13. Click the link; it’s important. Here is a wavy flag:

Geocities gave you the chance to run your own internet boom town. Anyone could start a website using its platform, and it let you do a lot. Geocities could handle a broad spectrum of colors, sounds, clip art, animation, and pages layered behind pages of content about whatever you wanted to present to the world. A lot of it was gibberish that rarely appealed to anyone, but that gibberish was made with love. Anyone who started a Geocities website felt like a pioneer, magician, and tech god all in one. They created something where there was nothing, and they did it using computers.

This is how I chose to introduce myself to the world:

Welcome everybody to my homepage. My name is Louis, and I'm a 13 year old 8th grader in Ann Arbor Michigan. I am a diehard fan and follow football very religiously, including recruiting, the draft, and coaching. Also, It is a dream of mine to become a football coach when I grow up, so if you could e-mail me at [email protected] with some tips, I would be ever most greatful. In this website I will post links to some of my favorite sites, plus articles by moi discussing thing going on in Michigan football. Plus the occasional article on hockey or basketball, plus updated links on articles by ESPN, Sports Illustrated etc.

I wrote that in 2001. They’re my first words ever as a sports writer and quite possibly the most earnest words I’ve ever published on the internet, too. Back then it was cool just to let people know who you are. Someone in China could stumble on my homepage and go, “Oh shit, there’s a kid across the world who’s into sports,” and that extant possibility was gratifying on its own — someone I don’t know knows me. There was less understanding — or at least, I didn’t understand it then — that you were whispering into a chasm or that you couldn’t stand out on your basic facts alone. But then, I really was what I said I was: a 13-year-old dork looking for coaching tips to a sport I could never dream of playing.

On Oct. 26, 2009, Yahoo! shuttered Geocities for good. There were approximately 38 million Geocities pages at the time, according to Wired, mine among them — all gone. Let’s call this day The Darkness.

On the day The Darkness came, a lot of love left this world. Granted, a lot of those sites had been abandoned and broken already. The people who let those pages wither never wanted to see them die, however. As Geocities went down, a number of web collectives started saving every page they could.

Don’t click any of these links, they’re probably malware.

If you really want to relive those halcyon days, you can download a 652-gigabyte torrent from a “loose collective of rogue archivists, programmers, writers and loudmouths” called Archive Team and rummage through the detritus yourself. I found my old page years ago when the memory of it (I don’t know from where) entered my head and I began to google. Maybe on the fifth page of results, I landed on the Wayback Machine.

Unfortunately, most of the links on my website don’t work anymore. Just three of the Features on the left-hand side are clickable — recent articles, schedules, and an “About Me” section.

No good Geocities site didn’t have an “About Me” section. Note: It’s not an “About” section. Websites then were treated like virtual mountain tops where plain people could tell the world how plain they were. Geocities sites nominally provided a service — back then, I believe 80 percent was dedicated to GoldenEye cheat codes — but behind those services was somebody who really just wanted you to know who he was and be proud of his work.

In my “About Me” section, I revealed that I was the clinical definition of a goober.

Backround- I was born Nov. 22nd 1987 in Ann Arbor Michigan. I have lived here my entire life. I stand at 4 feet 11 inches, and am the shortest person in my 8th grade class. My favorite color is blue(of course), and my second favorite is green. My favorite food is couscous. My shoe size is a 7 mens. My favorite movie is Any Given Sunday. And my favorite book is Pet Semetary by Stephen King, my second favorite is the 2000 Michigan football media guide.

Music- I am very ranged in my tastes of music, I like from Garth Brooks (long neck bottle) to Limp Bizkit (Keep Rollin' Rollin' Rollin' Rollin'). My favorite group is the Beastie Boys who play my favorite song called Paul Revere. My favorite person from the Beastie Boys is Adrock. We were both born A cusp of November (He was born on Oct. 30th, the cusp beween November and October, I was Born on Nov. 22nd the cusp between Scorpio and Sagitarrius).

These may be the most mortifying words that exist about anyone on Earth. I’ve struggled to write this section because I have to look away from the screen repeatedly due to debilitating embarrassment:

The counter still works, and is now counting AWAY from the Michigan vs. Washington game.

The shame is two-fold: 1) Because everything up there is true — I remember that media guide as one my favorite Christmas gifts ever, and God help me that’s what I thought music was then, and 2) because I remember how much care I put into writing that.

As a small, exceedingly shy, anxiety-ridden kid, I really cared about that website. Whoever archived it found it at its inception. The counter shows 21 visitors. I had more than that over the course of the probably year-and-change I kept it up. I got traffic from family and from the members of the Michigan message board that I lurked on. Any time I updated the site — with either fresh links, or a new game recap — I’d post it to the message board, and would receive a lot of mostly friendly feedback about what I thought Lloyd Carr should have done (throw the ball) and not done (run the ball).

I considered these exchanges “conversations.” I had trouble making words come from my mouth. People call that “talking,” but talking was a stretch goal for me. In school, anytime I thought I ought to speak my heart thumped so hard that it suppressed the air from lungs and stopped the words at my chest. If I said anything out loud it was in a whisper, at the floor, several beats later than I wanted. But in writing, words don’t have volume. That’s why I got into sportswriting then and largely why I’m still in it now. Writing is still best way I know how to speak.

[A brief interlude] Hahahahaha eat it Corso:

"Michigan has no chance to have a great football season, in my opinion. They play too many good teams that are as good or better than they are, and a lot of them are away from home. That makes it more difficult. They can stumble and be a really fine football team, losing three games at least."-ESPN analyst Lee Corso on Michigan the summer before Michigan's 12-0 record and national championship season.

[OK, back] The schedule section is easily my favorite part of all this.

First, there’s the internal logic. You can tell the importance of each game by the font size: Michigan State is a marginally more important game than the rest, but it’s nothing compared to Notre Lame or OHIO STATE!!!!

Second: “Notre Lame” is such a satisfying thing to say or type in bold font, and it pains me that I can never use it unironically ever again. At some point in your life, you come to realize that your team isn’t intrinsically better or worse than any other and that sports tribalism is petty and arbitrary. I know that, but I still don’t feel it to be true.

I want to yell “Notre Lame” from my roof into the night. I wouldn’t, because I know that I would feel like a goofus afterward. But the fact that “Dame” rhymes with “Lame” is immutable. It is truth; as true as night turning into day or that Notre Dame went 4-8 last season.

This is my second favorite part:

Forgot to mention in my profile that I'm a master at fooseball. Let me put it this way, my sister beats all the Frat brothers at the University of Wisconsin, and I beat her 10 to 6. Plus I can beat my dad, who is better than my sister. Here's a link to fooseball.com.

When you’re a largely incapable adolescent person, you glom onto what few skills you have. I could have put Mario Kart up here, but I was all about foosball at the time. The day I beat my dad was one of my proudest, and I mean that. Being better than your dad at something is maybe the first sign in a young man’s life that, someday, he won’t suck. I went to fooseball.com a lot. It outlined a lot of techniques that I practiced on my own. I think the site was based in the United Kingdom. It doesn’t exist as it did then.

Here were my hobbies.

My Hobbies- Sports and hangin' around are my hobbies. When I'm with friends we always play basketball, or football, or soccer, or some sort of sport. Following all sports is fun to. It's like watching a masculine soap opera. Hanging around is always fun, I'm a pretty lazy guy so that's what I do most of the time. It's always fun to go the mall or downtown and talk to people, just random people. I have made many friends that way, and enemies.

For the most part, these are still my hobbies. My life has centered on sports and hangin’ around since I was born. They’re still maybe my two favorite things. Sixteen years later, I’ve learned that adding 1) alcohol, and 2) pals to sports and hangin’ around often makes both things better, but otherwise I’m not a fundamentally different person than I was then. I still think I’m a lazy guy, only now I feel obligated to deal with the complex question of why that is.

The last two sentences of that excerpted paragraph are lies. I liked to wander the mall and downtown with my friends, but I didn’t spend much time talking to anyone. At most, I might yell something dumb my friends told me to yell at a stranger; a product of being into Jackass. I made no friends that way and haven’t had an honest-to-god enemy in my life. I was the most innocuous kid on the planet. I wrote those words to add intrigue to what I may have felt even then was a fraught and boring but otherwise happy existence.

Unfortunately, we only have one snapshot of that paragraph. I’d like to see how it evolved over time and what other activities I invented. Geocities let me create, mold, and catalog an image of myself as I saw it. Geocities illuminated that image. For a while, it was my claim in a world that was so much smaller then.

If you, too, have an embarrassing old Geocities/Angelfire/Blogspot/Xanga/LiveJournal/SB Nation page, PLEASE share it in the comments below.