#plus it seems....wasteful....so i dont think i could justify it to myself ethically even if i had money

[soldier-poet-king]

anyone who says biofreeze / icyhot helps is a LIAR i am in MORE PAIN THAN I WAS BEFORE /AND/ I SMELL LIKE COUGH DROPS

#gonna chop the whole damn arm off #THIS IS NOT HELPING MY FUCKED UP WRIST AND MAYBE BAD CIRCULATION #my father IS FULL OF LIES #my arm is ON FIRE AND ALSO VERY COLD #IN A VERY BAD PAINFUL WAY #anyway. i rlly need to like. commit to frequent excercise again no matter how sloggish i feel #i know once i get into a routine it will be good. and i LIKE the endorphins of working out and feeling strong and lifting #i do not like most gym atmospheres i want to be ALONE at the gym #alas i have neither the money nor the space for a home gym #plus it seems....wasteful....so i dont think i could justify it to myself ethically even if i had money #anyway. tldr. i need to build muscle to fix my fucked up bad blood and circulation and old lady joints #i have found a potential gym that is pricer than discount gyms but not SUPER HORRIBLE top tier expensive #and it is not too far. i know anything that is far i will not go to esp in the winter bc i get sad #LA fitness is slightly cheaper AND has a pool #but is further away and idk if i can always get the car when i want #i fkin love swimming but i cant justify a pool specific membership bc i cant #swim too often in chlorine bc my baby ass sensitive skin and hair