guycalledalex

[guycalledalex]

Whoever invented "open in app" links that redirect you to the app store instead of actually opening the app even when you already have the app installed on your phone should be involuntarily turned into a beanbag chair

[guycalledalex]

its important to do this every time a museum or school thinks this is a good idea

[guycalledalex]

[guycalledalex]

Lmao how is this real, "the ambient sounds of the world were wrong, sir"

[guycalledalex]

I want to fuck your throat

my thrussy!?!?

[guycalledalex]

A series of selfies shot sometime this week

#cutuals #spoiling us 😩🥵

[guycalledalex]

the idea that restrooms, locker rooms, etc need to be single-sex spaces in order for women to be safe is patriarchy's way of signalling to men & boys that society doesn't expect them to behave themselves around women. it is directly antifeminist. it would be antifeminist even if trans people did not exist. a feminist society would demand that women should be safe in all spaces even when there are men there.

[guycalledalex]

the circus was in town that day 🤡

[guycalledalex]

another two outtakes 😚

#i want him to [REDACTED] me 🥴

[guycalledalex]

Out in a fit: call that an outfit

#cutuals #we are not worthy 🥺

[guycalledalex]

i need “Happier than a necromancer in a natural history museum” to become a known phrase immediately

[guycalledalex]

this is sending me

[guycalledalex]

recipes will be like "prep time: 3 minutes" & the ingredience list is like "2 sweet potatoes peeled & diced" girlie they do not come like that

[guycalledalex]

lmaooo

[guycalledalex]

Lemmings don’t jump off of cliffs unless they’re being chased. Frogs don’t stay in boiling water unless they’ve been lobotomized first. Crabs don’t pull each other back into the bucket unless they are desperately and randomly grabbing for anything to try to get themselves out, out of fear for their lives.

Actions taken in specific, negative conditions don’t exemplify the nature of all beings.

Before you mock a sheep for staying with the flock, ask what dogs nip at its heels when it strays too far, and what wolves wait just beyond the edge of the pasture.

[guycalledalex]

thank you tuoi tre news this is the funniest way you can post this

[guycalledalex]