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disneyprincemuke · 4 months

Text

the kind of book you can't put down

alternatively: do you want me or not? (prev)

in which the thought of settling down and being with her scares him more than anything in the world, but he can’t seem to steer away from the thought of ‘them’

(series masterlist)

so maybe logan fucked up. did he mess this all up for him and the potential love of his life? he's sitting across the dinner table, head down to feign his attention on his phone screen but his eyes are on her and the random guy that joined them for dinner.

he kissed her, for god's sake. and what kind of a reaction was that from him afterwards? a smile and then to hurl in front of the biggest crush you've ever had in your life is hardly appropriate. it's even worse now that he's avoided her all day and openly flirted with someone else while they were on the yacht for a couple of drinks earlier.

logan swore to himself a couple of weeks ago that she didn't deserve to play his games. if there was anything about starting to like your best friend, it was the sudden realisation that they don't deserve to be treated like the other girls you'd been with before.

he knows she deserves better than what he's doing right now. but admittedly, he got scared of the potential fallout with her. he's really found the bestest friend in her through the years they grew up together. he had to sit himself down this morning to figure out if it was worth risking their friendship for something more.

he watches her cover her mouth to giggle. he contemplates for a couple of seconds: does he want to watch this or should he just gouge his eyes out with the spoon on his plate?

he did want to approach her this morning at breakfast. when she was at the long table buffet waiting for some scrambled eggs - she looked very pretty in the maxi dress she'd bought specifically for this vacation, and it scared him.

he's always been more of a touch-and-go kind of person. thinking about laying with her innocently while they engaged in pillow talk terrified him.

"murder on your mind?" xyriel snorts, leaning towards him with a sly grin. "i've noticed how you've been looking at her for a couple of minutes now."

"i wasn't looking," logan quickly denies, sending his friend a weird look. "it's just weird having a stranger eating dinner with us. i'm not paying for his dinner."

"we know," xyriel grins, following his gaze. she presses her lips together. "but you used to bring girls with us to dinner. what makes hers any different?"

"nothing," logan lies with an innocent shrug. "i just think he is weird."

xyriel stifles a giggle, instead pursing her lips to not let out that everyone knows more than they actually do. "dude, you've got something for her or what?"

"what?" logan scoffs, turning to her with disbelief on his face. "the hell did you get that from? she's my best friend."

"you're just being a little odd," xyriel points out. "and, i've never seen you jealous before."

"i'm not jealous."

"really? you're going to lie to me? you're literally my biggest partner in crime when it comes to picking up girls at bars, and you're going to tell me that i don't know when you like somebody?"

"i don't like her. and i'm not jealous."

xyriel presses her lips together and throws her arms up into the air to surrender. "okay, fine. whatever you say. you don't like her, whatever. get back to me when you're done being indenial."

"xyriel!"

"what?" xyriel laughs, rolling her eyes. "you want to choose this hill to die on tonight, so i'll leave you alone until you're ready to face the facts."

he glances at them one more time. with another roll of his eyes, he shifts in his seat to sit up and start eating his dinner once more. but all he can think about is her lips on his.

she sighs, kicking at the gravel from the cobblestone pathway that leads to their villa. she excused herself from the restaurant early; all the half hearted flirting with some random guy she'd met on the yacht earlier proving to be a lot more draining than she thought.

while she liked the attention and the compliments that were spewing from his mouth, even she knew that it was all just a ruse to get into her pants and she's just not interested in him like that. she had let him down easy when he insisted to walk her back here.

he easily understood and kind of snorted, pointing out that it's obvious that she's got a thing for logan.

the area surrounding their villa is quiet - she'd specifically requested for one that provides them a bit more privacy.

she walks back and forth the pathway leading to their front door, swaying as she plays with the maxi skirt she's decided to put on for dinner. she hops over every other tile then twirling slightly before repeating the same actions up and down the stones. if someone were to see her, they might think that she's crazy.

all she can think of is the way logan had kissed her last night and the way his lips tasted against her.

but every time she starts to swoon at the possibility of falling in love with one of the people who know her best, the image of him pressed up against another girl in her bikini flashes through her mind. it's been bringing her to the edge of tears just imagining what they'd done when they disappeared into the far back of the yacht alone.

she's only ever been with one guy; someone she barely even dated for six months when she was sixteen. it could hardly even be considered a relationship with the way that it had gone.

logan's been with many girls, be it relationships or just simply hooking up with them. maybe she should just accept the fact that she will eventually just turn into one of logan's girls.

but how do you move past that after being friends for ages?

"oh, i thought you'd be asleep by now." she plants her feet into the cobblestone she's just jumped on, slumping her shoulders as her eyes drift to the reflection of the intrusion on the sliding glass door that leads into the villa. "i didn't expect you'd still be awake."

she sucks in a shakey breath when she realises that logan is not alone while approaching the villa. she turns around and forces a smile to her face, her hair landing on one shoulder. "i was just doing some thinking. the villa is yours - don't let me intrude on your alone time."

she carefully eyes the unnamed girl clinging onto logan's arm, body pressed up behind him with a grin on her face. it's a different girl from earlier. seems that her predictions are absolutely right: he might not have even remember the kiss in the first place.

all of these are just in her head.

"actually, i think i'll just join them for some drinks. they're still at the bar, right?" she smiles, pointing in the direction that they'd just approached from.

"no, it's fine," logan smiles with a shakey breath. he turns around to say something to the girl he's with. she can hear her protesting softly and then logan uses a firm voice to answer her. eventually, the girl gives up and simply turns on her heel and walks away.

"what, you lost your hardon when you realised you couldn't shag her in peace or something?" she scoffs, watching the girl walk away and logan turns to face her. "my bad for staying awake past my bedtime. i hope i didn't cost you the love of your life."

logan furrows his eyebrows, hands on his hips. he doesn't necessarily appreciate her words but he knows that he deserves her mean streak. "shut up. you know i'm not like that."

"yeah, now more than ever," she laughs dryly, muttering under her breath as she turns away. "can't believe i kissed you back."

logan tilts his head. "sorry, what was that?"

"i said i can't believe that i kissed you back, you big dumb fucking idiot," she scolds, turning back to him. "i can't believe that i even thought you genuinely liked me back! well, now i know."

"know what?" yes, he is playing dumb. but it seems like the better option to go with rather than having to look her in the eye and crumble at the thought of them being together.

"that i'm just one of your girls," she sighs, throwing her arms into the air slightly. she shakes her head with a small smile on her face. "you think you know someone."

hearing her say that made logan feel guiltier. he genuinely does like her. days leading up to this trip, he couldn't get her out of his mind. all he could think of was holding her hand and doing everything he swore he wouldn't be caught doing with somebody until he was much older.

he would find himself lying awake at 2am thinking of her and all the places that he wants to bring her to. she makes him want to settle down and that thought scares him.

"for the record, i never want to talk to you again after this trip," she scoffs, stepping up towards the villa. she grabs her phone from the patio table and aggressively slides the glass door open. "i don't know who you think you are kissing me and then pretending like it didn't happen. i'm not going to allow myself to be one of the girls you fuck around with, logan. i'm not playing your games."

"oh, so you really messed up big time."

it's 5am. everybody but her is gathered at the dining table of their villa, wide awake from the coffee they decided to consume at midnight at the resort cafe.

oscar and lily arrived first, finding logan sitting on the front porch steps with his head in his hands in damn near tears. lily stepped up and asked him if something bad had happened and he tried his best to recount their interaction to the couple.

twenty minutes later, xyriel and leia joined them in hushed whispers and chips on the table. they've been here ever since.

"i know," logan rolls his eyes. "ugh, why did i kiss her? i never should have kissed her!"

"actually," xyriel perks up. "why did you kiss her?"

"have you looked into her eyes? i swear they're hypnotising!" logan tries to contain his yell, afraid that he might be the one to wake her from her slumber. "she was practically asking me to kiss her!"

"i hope you realise how fucking stupid you sound right now." logan follows the sound of the voice, seeing lily sipping on her water with her chin tucked in and eyes shot up to glare at him. "are you telling me that you're blaming her for all of this when you're the one that's been avoiding her?"

"no," logan whines, throwing his head back. he rubs his face roughly then drops his elbows against the wooden material. "god, she's just so pretty. i couldn't hold myself back from kissing her."

oscar raises an eyebrow, exchanging a glance with xyriel that's already giggling audibly. "you? have no self control?" he gasps. "no way."

"have you kissed her?" logan scolds, lifting his head to furrow his eyebrows at oscar. "exactly! you don't know what it's like! when i kissed her, i thought 'oh, god, i'm kissing my best friend'. and then she kissed me back! and i swear to you, our entire future played in my mind! like i knew i wanted to spend the rest of my life with her!"

"you're in love with her?" leia's eyes widen. "are you kidding?"

"i'm not in love with her!"

"i'm pretty sure you are," xyriel points out knowingly, slamming her palm on the table. "nobody thinks of the future with somebody if they're not in love with them!"

"is that why you hurled right after you kissed her?" lily frowns, disgust washing over her face. "you got scared at the thought of settling down with a girl?"

"not just any girl, come on!" logan cries, slamming the table softly. he pushes himself up, the seat dragging against the ground as he stands. "my best friend!" he turns to oscar. "our best friend! we literally had her period cycle memorised at some point!"

"gross." leia turns to oscar with a questioning stare.

"hey, we lived in her house. it was impossible to not know," oscar defends himself, rolling his eyes. "you're telling me you can't tell when she's got her period?"

"i guess you have a point."

"focus!" logan cries, throwing his head back in frustration. "guys, we're in the same sport too! what if that gets in the way? we both have our hopes and dreams - i can't risk that getting in the way of what we have."

"i hardly think that would be an issue," xyriel shrugs simply. "you're both adults. you should be able to put that aside and not let it affect a relationship."

"it could be worse," oscar agrees. "she could be an actress."

"what's that got to do with anything?" lily raises her eyebrow in confusion.

"i'm just saying it could be worse if she had to be paired up with men she'd have to be in love with," oscar shrugs with a small frown. "but i guess it's not that relevant to what we're talking about."

"that would be tougher, i suppose," xyriel whispers. she points at logan pacing back and forth, mumbling something about how this is all too much for someone like him. "i've never seen this guy jealous."

"i wasn't jealous!" logan says, turning to them. "guys, what do i do?"

"mate," oscar laughs, pointing at him and gestures at his state. "you're twenty years old. you should know what to do."

"thanks, that literally doesn't help me. at all."

"racing heartthrob doesn't know what to do with his feelings? that's interesting," leia grins, turning to xyriel with a nod. "but if (y/n) swore you off the way she did, there's not much we can do to help you. only you can say something to her to make this all better."

"you should know what to do. you guys fought a year ago, right?" logan frowns, tilting his head at leia. "what did you do?"

"i apologised," leia grins, pressing her lips together. "dude, our situations are completely different. you blew her off knowing she likes you. we fought over a school project and participation points. we are not the same."

"she expects a relationship out of me," logan says. "probably."

"actually, i suspect she wants to kill you more than get into a relationship with you right now," oscar points out with a teasing smirk. "but do carry on."

"i just don't know if i can give her that! i'm not one to settle down."

"what was that joke about guys getting their heart broken once then making it everyone's problem for the rest of their lives?" lily mutters, turning to xyriel with a smile.

"story of logan's life."

"if i knew you guys were going to be this unhelpful, i would have just called liam and asked him for advice."

"mate, he doesn't... he's not good at the advice either."

"exactly!"

"okay, dude," xyriel holds her hands out to halt all conversation. "it's easy. figure yourself out before you talk to her. when you do, tell her what's on your mind. explain it to her, and then apologise."

"what if she still doesn't want to remain friends? i don't want to lose her. she’s my best friend.”

“a little hurt,” oscar frowns with a hand to his heart.

lily shrugs. "consequences of your own actions."

“good morning,” she greets, the hem of her pyjamas dragging along the floor as she walks into the kitchen and dining area. “you’re making breakfast?”

“it’s noon, so technically lunch. i’m making eggs and bacon,” oscar mutters, craning his neck to look at her walk in. “scrambled or sunny side up for you?”

“i’m not hungry, thank you,” she smiles, walking over to him. she tiptoes with a hand to his back, cheeks touching as a greeting before she circles around him. “have they got a kettle? i want some tea.”

“bottom door next to the fridge,” lily speaks up, walking into the kitchen. “good morning everyone. have you guys seen xyriel anywhere? her door was left open.”

“she left to have breakfast at the restaurant with that one girl she met last night at the cafe,” oscar scoffs, leaning down to give a chaste kiss to his girlfriend that approaches him. “good nap?”

“cafe? you guys drank coffee last night?” the small girl scoffs, eyebrows furrowed in confusion as she fills the kette with water. “what time did you turn in?”

“seven thirty,” oscar admits. “anyway, got anything planned today?” he exchanges a glance with lily, who pats his back as she passes him to navigate the kitchen for the fridge. “we’re going to the driving range to golf right after this.”

oscar finally scans her face, frowning when he notices her slightly puffy eyes and hoarse voice. had she cried before coming down for lunch?

“i’ll pass, thank you,” she grins politely. “i think i’m just going to stay in today. i’m not feeling like i wanna sweat.”

“oh, i think logan mentioned he didn’t feel like doing anything today either,” oscar lies. logan is actually joining them for golf. “doing anything together, perhaps? everything resolved?”

“no,” she frowns. “why, did he tell you anything?”

“no,” lily answers immediately. “joining us for golf then, i assume?”

she nods tiredly. “okay. could you make scrambled egg, then? i’ll go get my stuff ready.”

“oh, i thought you were staying in the villa this afternoon. i didn’t know you’d be here,” she mutters, arriving at the rendezvous oscar had told her to head to. “where are oscar and lily?”

“what? i was told you were staying in the villa today,” logan mutters, scrambling to sit up. he watches her carefully navigate the couch from the other end, opting to sit in the single seater couch far from him.

he scans her outfit, tilting his head. “made plans today?”

“oscar and lily asked me to join them at the driving range earlier,” she says, nodding with her lips pressed together. “have you seen them around? they asked me to meet at two — i’m five minutes late.”

“i don’t think i’ve seen them around,” logan shakes his head, pretending to look for the couple.

actually, she’d been avoiding him all morning. logan knocked on her door after he spent the better part of two hours thinking of what to say to her. she never answered the door.

after oscar made her lunch and he walked in to get some food for himself, she quickly excused herself to go back to her room, hanging her head low to avoid his longing gaze. which is exactly what they predicted would happen.

so oscar and lily started scheming once more.

true, the couple had planned to go to the driving range. but they decided to push it back a couple of hours to scheme for them.

“oh, then can you just let them know i’ll meet them at the driving range?” she smiles, standing up and dusting off her shorts. “if they happen to come by, of course. see you at dinner, logan.”

“okay, wait,” logan sighs, chasing after her. “can we talk? i really need to talk to you, i need to tell you why i kissed you.”

she smiles tiredly, tucking her chin in slightly. “let’s just forget it ever happened, okay? we’re on vacation; let’s not make it dramatic.”

“no, i don’t want to lose you,” logan frowns, taking her wrist into his hand. “please, let’s talk. there’s a couple of things i need to get off my chest. you’re my best friend.”

she rolls her eyes, smile still stuck on her face as she wiggles her wrist free from his grasp. “i just need some space, logan. you’re my best friend too — i didn’t mean what i said about never speaking to you again. but just give me some time.”

“just let me explain what went through my mind.” logan gently guides her back to sit on the couch, taking her hands into his. “i do have feelings for you. but-“

“but,” she emphasises, voice shaking as tears flood her eyes. “that’s exactly what i didn’t want to hear.”

“but if we get into a relationship, it’s going to complicate everything,” logan explains, shaking his head. “first off, we’ve practically lived together for 4 years. and then we’re in the same motorsport every time — i don’t want any of that to get in the way.”

“then why did you kiss me?” she swipes her hands from him and places it on her lap. she inches away from him slightly. “if you knew us getting involved with one another would get complicated, then why would you kiss me?”

“because i really do like you. but i don’t want to make things harder for us. we’re already in a cutthroat sport, moreso for yourself,” logan frowns, looking down to play around with his thumbs.

“and i wasn’t supposed to act on whatever feelings i’ve developed for you. but i looked into your eyes that night and,” he pauses to sigh and looks up to mert her eyes, “i just couldn’t help myself. i’ve been wanting to kiss you since we went to barcelona.”

“then why would you parade around with other girls after we kissed?” she asks, eyes trailing down to his nervous hands. “you made me feel so small, logan.”

“i got scared. you know me — i’m not typically a commitment type of guy,” he explains softly, reaching out hesitantly for her hand. “but you kissed me back and i felt something brewing in my stomach. something i’d never felt before about anyone. i’m terrified of whatever this is.”

she shakes her head. “i don’t understand,” she breathes. “are you saying that i’m not worth settling down for? is that how you see me, logan? after all these years; you don’t think i’m not the type of girl anyone should want to be better for?”

“no, i’m telling you i’m cowering away from how intense my feelings are for you. and i’m scared of ever hurting you,” he cooes. “i don’t ever want to hurt you. i don’t want to be the cause of your pain because of my ways. you know me — i’m not the best at relationships. i spent half of my life with oscar making sure you only receive the best.”

“so are you telling me you don’t want to be better for me?” a tear falls on her cheek, prompting logan to drop his head in shame. “that i’m not worth the trouble?”

“i didn’t mean it that way. i’m just explaining to you why i did what i did. please, just let me finish.”

“actually, i think i’ve heard enough,” she lets a sob pass her lips, a hand flying up to cover her mouth as more tears start rolling down her cheeks. she shakes her head as she starts to stand up. “honestly, logan, we would have been fine if you just let this fade away. but after hearing what you just said, i don’t want anything to do with you anymore. please just leave me alone.”

“okay, it’s because i think i’m in love with you,” logan spurts just as she turns around. she balls her fists by her side, freezing completely where she stands. “i know that i like you, but it’s scary because i think it’s more than just liking you.”

she turns around, furrowing her eyebrows. “you can’t just say that and think it will make all of this better.”

“i know it doesn’t. but whatever i feel, it’s bigger than me. i know the type of guy i want to be when i’m with you. nothing has ever been so clear to me,” logan rambles, taking a step forward.

she notes his step, mirroring it with a step backwards to maintain their distance. “you just said something else completely different to that.”

“give me a chance to show you, and i swear to you that i’ll love you proper,” logan breathes out. “no more games, no more push and pull, no more girls. just you and me.”

“and i’m supposed to believe you?”

“if you don’t, then it’s my fault. i never should have toyed around with your feelings in the first place,” logan shakes his head. “but if you give me a chance, i won’t ever fuck this up. i’ll be all yours. you will get the best parts of me and nothing less.”

she raises an eyebrow. “and oscar told you this was the way to go about this situation?”

“he gave me some advice.”

“it’s good advice,” she says softly with a small smile playing with her lips. she bites on the inside of her cheek. “no more girls? no more games? you promise?”

“i swear to you with my life,” logan smiles, taking a step forward. he puts his hands on her shoulders with a soft squeeze. “i will be the best boyfriend. i am only yours.”

“calm down. you’re not my boyfriend yet,” she mutters jokingly. “with the stunt you just pulled, you’ll be apologising to me for years to come.”

“i’ll apologise every single day,” logan smiles, shoving his hands into his pockets. “can i take you out on a date when we get back to the uk?”

she purses her lips together, biting back the growing smile on her face. she toys with the hem of her tshirt and swiftly turns away. “i’ll think about it. see you at dinner, logan.”

“see you at dinner, babe.”

“stop that!”

— bonus

“i thought you said you weren’t boyfriend and girlfriend yet,” xyriel scowls, peeking through the small gap on the door that leads into logan’s room in the villa. “did you guys fuck?”

logan, his bare shoulder peeking through the blanket that covers the rest of his body, lifts his head. “no. go away.”

“i know you’re naked,” xyriel whispers, pointing at him accusingly.

“we didn’t fuck, go away,” logan whispers at her, wrapping his arms around the smaller girl to pull her into his body. “we just slept. you know, as normal wholesome couples do.”

“we’re not a couple,” the small girl says, eyes closed as she pulls logan’s arm around her tighter. “he asked me to sleep in his room last night and he brushed my hair until i fell asleep.”

“aw, logan, you big softie,” xyriel teases. “okay, whatever. i’ll leave you to it. we need to check out by noon — be ready by then.”

they bid their goodbyes to the older girl, leaving the room in silence. logan lifts his head, rubbing her bare shoulder. “good morning.”

she turns around, eyes barely open as she faces him. “good morning,” she grins. “kiss me again; i miss your lips.”

@myxticmoon @what-is-happening-helpp @angsthology @lfm98

#logan sargeant #logan sargeant x reader #logan sargeant x you #female driver #fem!driver #f1 female driver #f1 x you #f1 #disneyprincemuke #disneyprincemuke imagine #disneyprincemuke imagines #disneyprincemuke f1 #disneyprincemuke ial

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piracytheorist · 2 years

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Think he might need a bingo card of his own but Killian Jones for character opinion bingo, and as a bonus, anything on Rumple?

Aight, red for Killian and green for Rumpelstiltskin!

For Killian, I don't think I even need to explain. Pictures are worth a thousand words.

(In a way, I do find Rumpelstiltskin's appearance great as well. But I couldn't describe it as "cool" more like... idk, elegant and to the point. Yes, even as a scaly man)

Everyone but me is wrong about Killian, always, ever. No-one understands him the way I do <3

No but seriously, considering how many people were SO wrong when analyzing his character, and how almost criminally out of character he is in AU fics (which I get it's kinda the point to change some stuff, but when you're making a brand new character without any similarities to the original and just name him "Killian Jones"... and that happens a SHIT TON in the fandom... yeah) or even CANON fics... I don't doubt I'm in a greatly small minority for my own views about him. Especially since I was actually surrounded by people whom I agreed with regarding to his writing in s7 (and we were already few in the wider Hook fandom, and also hated by most because how dare we enjoy a version of Hook growing as a character without Emma amirite) and then my opinion and their opinion about the ending differed completely to the point I felt I was alone in the world.

And yes, only my opinion is right. No I will not elaborate.

(For practical reasons, I am joking about the "right" thing. But Killian and Gold reconciling the way they did in the last few episodes was a betrayal to Killian's character and arc and I will fucking die on this hill)

Rumpelstiltskin had wasted potential because again I will die on the hill that he shouldn't have been turned into a "hero" character. They should've let him stay a morally gray character and fucking stick to it. Instead they had him jump from good guy to bad guy because the plot wanted him to be to then good guy again because Belle begged him to. I could kinda understand his relapse in the first part of s4 but it got tiring very quickly after that, and I think even Robert Carlyle got tired of that too. I've got to say that the episode "Lacey", though I have some thoughts about the flashback parts, was one of my favourite episodes of s2 simply because Gold went like "Fuck it" and beat that Keith or what is name was because he'd pissed him off (I mean, I don't condone beating, much less because the guy kissed the woman you love. But it was interesting storytelling). And then Lacey was into it and he kept going and like, this was who Gold just was. His dynamic with Belle was stunted because even if Gold wanted to do good, he was the kind of guy who got too easily corrupted by power and simply kept going after it and Belle kept going like "I can fix him". I'd rather a couple like Gold and Lacey, where they're not the villains of the story, but will help the "good guys" because of their ties to them and will absolutely go to distances the "good guys" won't. But anti-heroes was too much for A&E to handle and the fandom to accept, gotta woobify Rumple Bumple any way we can.

If they were real, either Hook or Gold, yeah I'd be terrified of them. I think we all would, and we understand that as much great characters as they make, they have killed in cold blood without any remorse, so. Blorbos they may be, and they're fun. But real life is different.

As I said, Killian is blorbo. It's been seven years that I've been a certified HookerTM and I still fall asleep making up fanfic with him in center. He'll probably be my biggest blorbo to ever blorbo.

The thing with Killian, as is connected to "didn't get enough screentime" is that he is indeed deeper than he looks, but that was only an issue of limited screentime. Us Hookers had to pick up the scraps the writers gave us and the PRECIOUS bits Colin was kind, talented and devoted enough to give us. In order to understand why he makes remarks about his appearance all the time, you have to notice the moments when he focuses on what he hates about himself; but if you skip that or just miss it, you think he's just self-centered like that. And the writing and limited screentime - by himself at least, not when he was under Emma's shadow - didn't help with that.

I've projected so much of my own shit on Killian. My self doubt, my imposter syndrome, my loneliness, some other issues that I'm not ready to share here... yeah, a lot. He's a good receptor for that, I gotta give him that :D

Done dirty by fans?? Killian and Rumpelstiltskin?? More likely than you think! From both sides too. Hook fans adoring the version of Killian who was uwu and pure and only existed for Emma's story, and hating on Rumpelstiltskin because he did bad things I guess. And for being a misogynist, apparently. And Rumpelstiltskin fans woobifying him and turning him into only a victim who had no choice in the evil things he did (and s5 did not help with the whole Dark One manifestation feeding you bad thoughts thing) and hating Hook for making sex jokes and being provocative I guess. And for being a misogynist, apparently.

So you've got two morally gray characters with excellent dynamic both on their own and ESPECIALLY together (the rivalry between the two was my TOP favourite dynamic on the show, way above Captain Swan and KnightRook... that is, until 7x18) with fans who victimize them and turn them into lovesick caricatures of themselves and the other bad guy is a misogynist!! Because that's the only way for a character to be proven bad!! MISOGYNY I TELL YOU!!

... The ouat fandom was an experience. Years will go by, fandoms will come and go, but it's the ouat fandom wank that will stay with me.

Probably explained above why Killian didn't get enough screentime. Technically, he did. From s3 onward, he appeared in every single episode, had his fair share of centric episodes, but when so little of his screentime is focused on him as a character and most of it being the writers trying to pacify the haters and prove that he's not the monster they're making him out to be, everything falls apart. That was a big problem with ouat, in general. I feel it was mostly in s7 where that was dropped, where the writers simply said fuck it and didn't care to pander to audiences anymore and just wrote what they wanted to write. Grand example, the Ruby x Dorothy ship that came out of nowhere to placate the people who were asking for LGBTQ+ representation. Then in s7, they wrote Curious Archer and it just fit in so naturally into the story and theme because they weren't pressuring themselves. And so, considering they were constantly trying to prove Killian's honor and maturity in regards to his relationship to Emma, so much of his screentime was wasted when it could have been used more appropriately. Like, the crumbs I talked about above? Make them a whole package, and that would prove the point they wanted to make anyway. But A&E were too proud in their own abilities as writers to even consider that, I guess.

Gold was a horrible person and you can fight me on that. He was an interesting character that I loved seeing on my screen... at least until his characterization took the plunge. But he was a clear example of a bullied, humiliated victim who, once he took a position of power immediately began abusing it and holding onto it for dear life. People kept mentioning how he stopped the Ogre Wars but a) that wasn't important enough to his narrative to show on screen and that says something and b) he used it as an excuse to be an asshole and to keep abusing his power, so it doesn't help? Upon losing Baelfire, his one goal became to go find him - but only as long as he kept his power. The seer confirmed he will meet him again, so he waited as long as it took - literal centuries because he wanted to find the way that would ensure he'd have both his son and his power. That power being the very thing he lost his son for, by the way. If that isn't a sign about how weird his priorities were, Idk what else to tell you man.

Yes I am mentally ill about Killian, if my seven plus years of stanning that developed into a love for Colin that I have paid real money to see from up close didn't clue any of you in XD

I circled the "part of a dynamic" one cause as I said, for almost the entire duration of the show, the rivalry between Gold and Hook was my top favourite dynamic. Sadly I didn't get that much, and I got grossly disappointed by the end, but what little I got (minus the ending, yes I am still bitter) I loved and I treasure.

Gold got too much screentime in the manner of the whole ping-pong he did between "hero" and "villain". I mean, it wasn't like they would dare sideline Robert Carlyle, but he got too many and repeated arcs that it got tiring even for me, who enjoyed his presence on my screen. If he had gotten a bit less of it, or a bit more balanced between all characters (same for Emma and Regina, they both suffered from repeated storylines and development arcs), I think they could have handled his gray morality better.

ALMOST got three lines there, lmao. BING!

#character opinion bingo #Killian Jones #Rumpelstiltskin #anti-rumple #just in case #ouat #ask and ye shall receive #priscilla9993 #blorbo bingo

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hithisisleon · 3 years

Text

RESIDENT EVIL COMING TO DEAD BY DAYLIGHT POST

Hey I'm coming back from the dead as Leon The White to talk about the best part of the Resident Evil showcase : Resident Evil coming to Dead By Daylight !

Yes yes we all saw the trailer, we can't wait to attach that sweet Umbrella Corp charm to our survivors and our killer's hooks but I want to talk to you about the possibilites regarding Survivors, Killer and Map !

SURVIVORS :

Yes I know we all have our preferences as to who we would like to see introduced as survivors and since it's a special occasion, Resident Evil's 25th Anniversary, we'll probably get 2 survivors like the Stranger Things DLC ( which can also mean that we could get other characters skins on top of said characters like Heather Mason getting Alessa Gillespie, Cybil Bennett and Lisa Garland skins ).

Our number one pick is the most obvious, at the end of the showcase, Matthieu Côté delivers this line :

Look, you have two choices here : kill or be killed. It's your call !

Does it sounds familiar ? I hope it does because it's coming directly from this :

So it's safe to assume that our number one character is going to be Claire Redfield !

As for number two, they'll probably pick a male character and huh... Yeah yeah you know what I mean, it's going to be Leon Kennedy.

It makes perfect sense : he's the other part of the duo from Resident Evil 2, the most popular old school RE, and the main protagonist of Resident Evil 4, the game who revolutionized the gaming industry and which brought fresh air to the franchise.

Another reason why it makes perfect sense for this duo to be in this game is that around the same time we will get Infinite Darkness, which features Leon and Claire ! Perfect promotion.

Also don't lie, if they get alternate costumes, you're going to love to play as Leon in his RE4 outfit with the jacket and Claire in her Let Me Live outfit... And the Cleon shippers will be happy.

As for those who would have prefered others like Jill or Chris, or even Rebecca and Billy why not, I'm sure they will be available as Legendary Skins.

KILLER :

Now this one is a particuliar case, and I'm thinking the same thing regarding the map.

They can go the way they did with the Silent Hill chapter and pick something different from the best games : Midwich Elementary School from Silent Hill 1 for the map, Pyramid Head from Silent Hill 2 as the killer and Heather Mason from Silent Hill 3 as the survivor.

If we go by popularity it would be either Mr.X or Nemesis ( No I'm not counting Lady Dumitrescu because the game isn't out yet and don't lie, her popularity is 100% due to how horny on main you freaks are )

Mr.X will have to be punching survivors as his main attack but as for his secondary I dunno... Maybe mutated Mr.X instead so he could do more damage ? And that way you could have the classic Tyrant from RE1 as a skin ?

As for his Mori it'll probably be a head grab and him crushing your head or he might impale you with his mutated hand/claw before tossing you aside.

( Also you know his chase music is going to be modded into "X gonna give it to ya" )

Nemesis will punch and/or use tentacles to whip you good or catch you, either way he's going to do some damage and you know you will shit your pants when you hear him scream "STAAAAAAAAAARS !" from a distance.

His mori will probably be an oldie but goldie and by that I mean he will grab survivors like Brad and tentacle-throat them to death.

BONUS :

The characters I want for killers here are just ideas I came up with and whom I know will probably not get picked but it's worth mentioning them because you'll agree that they would make great killers.

1/ Nosferatu ( Code Veronica X )

I don't think I have to remind you the fucking bone chilling screams he make when you see him for the first time as Claire in Code Veronica, nor how creepy is his theme during the boss fight ?

Now imagine that in a game where he chase you around with a new rendition of his theme and his tentacles swinging around and attacking you while the others hear him screaming at you in the distance.

Not to forget he could also poison you with the spores he just released so like The Plague he could make you go around the map to find a way to cleanse yourself and here we could see blue herbs being used !

His mori could be one of the death animations from his boss fight in Code Veronica where he brings Claire close to him and impale her with his big tentacle before giving her the "This bitch empty, YEET" treatment.

2/ Alexia Ashford ( Code Veronica X )

Oh boy look at that, another character from Code Veronica, who would have guessed ? ( It's in my TOP 3 RE games so my bad )

Alright Alexia has always been one of my favorites bosses from the Resident Evil series and I think she's honestly one of the best, her design is nasty, her mutations are disgusting and her orchestral theme is just GORGEOUS ( "Ironic" Palpatine said )

Imagine her normal attack being bitchslaps like she gives to Wesker in Code Veronica, nice right ? But for her secondary attack like in the game she throw her blood in a direction and trace a fire line with it, something that can work in DBD since Pyramid Head does something similar with his great knife.

Her mori will probably be her summoning those tentacles from the ground to impale you or grab your leg and smash you on the ground on repeat until you die, or if we stay classic, she can grab you by the throat and light you on fire, burning you alive.

MAP :

As I said earlier during the killer part, they might follow the Silent Hill chapter formula, picking one bit of each game so here are some neat locations to pick from.

1/ The Spencer Mansion

a) The Mansion

It's just too iconic.

b) The Arklay Lab

I will shit myself if I see a Tyrant coming at me while I'm on a gen.

2/ Raccoon City

a) The streets of Raccoon City

You think you can hide but he will find you.

b) The RPD

Nothing better than exploring the corridors of the RPD and seeing a licker passing by a window while trying to sneak around to avoid the killer right ?

3/Rockfort Island

a) Prison Camp

Perfect for the sadistic pleasures of the Entity !

b) Private Residence

I really want to hear another rendition of "The Suspended Doll" when I join the map 👉👈 ... Special mentions to other maps that I can't show because tumblr doesn't allow more than 10 pics :

RE1 Guardhouse, RE2 Lab, RE3 Clock tower, RE Outbreak Jack's Bar, RE Code Veronica Antartica Mansion, RE4 Village, RE4 Castle, RE4 Island

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nalyria · 3 years

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God Michael! 🤣🤣 I finished playing Shadows of Saintsfour about two days ago during the Freeplay event and my LI was Michael.

I played SOS awhile ago but didn't get pass season 1 because I thought the series was super predictable which made it boring, but WOW DID IT PICK UP IN SEASON 2, esp 3!!! I can't believe it got better within those 2 seasons. I thought the story would be dragging on for no reason, but was pleasantly surprised that season 3 and season 2 were tied together with 1. And they existed in one cohesive story! I can't believe that I would have never, and I mean NEVER, would have touched this story again if it wasn't for the Freeplay event. I completely underestimated this story... I would have missed out this gem. Now I see why this is one of the more well-liked and popular book of the app now.

That being said, I love Michael. No not love, I ADORE him. Seriously.

I never screencap game moments but I had to for Michael. I never felt so much adoration for a character that made me want to do this 🤣🤣. I love the romantic scenes between MC and Michael and the conflict that was presented in season 2. And his asshole-douchery flaw....

In his next line, he says he's worried about you. He's just worried, but still Michael, no need to bring your girlfriend's friend down. ESPECIALLY WHEN THAT FRIEND HAS BEEN WITH HER THROUGH THE THICK AND THIN THAN YOU DID IN SEASON 2 and 1!!! (ofc Michael saved MC's life in season 1, but Derek has been sticking with MC when Michael hasn't, which is alot)

However, his sweetness towards MC is altogether too much. I wish he had more interaction with her friends tbh. But now I present the last line (I think) and perhaps the best from Michael...

So sweet 💕. Gosh he is still fallen head over heels for us 😳😭 like the first time. The sex scene with him was also so sweet... the line said everytging about him is familiar, yet there is something new to discover. 🥺I love how protective he is of MC and how absolutely loyal he is to her. He runs away with her FFS!!!! He leaves a gang and family with an equally traumatized brother just to be with her. He leaves everything for MC and if that doesn't scream Bae material, I don't know what else. He is the epitome of a ride or die partner and I cannot, I don't think, can feel the same attachment to the other LI's in this book. Probably John though lol.

I was super anxious during the train station scene because I thought I didn't have enough points with Michael for him to run away with me and the writers made it seem so, so I tapped pretty fast, half reading the lines in trepidation. When I read that he actually came and then we held hands as the train departed... my heart... 😭💔💔💔💔 RC don't play with my heart like that 🤣🤣🤣

That aside, I wish Michael had a bigger role in season 1, 2, and 3. He did in season 1, but he stopped appearing frequently, esp in 2 and 3. I thought he would appear more often because he's MC's bf. And it would make more sense for both of them to search together. Even unromanced, it would still make sense for Michael to hang with MC's group because they're the only ones who are really actively looking for Bobby. This would have led to more dynamics and interest in MC's friend group..alas, this didn't happen. A missed opportunity IMO but I suppose his absence could be explained by this: he has his own life. Lol. Or a different way of doing things. Still doesn't really make sense to me, but oh well. I still very enjoy his route and his development nonetheless.

I also wish other LI's had more moments with MC. I heard Stephanie was sidelined, not sure though because it was as though the main love interests would only appear around the time our chosen love interest appears. Not sure how much that is true since in season 1 I didn't romance her. Strange how she barely appeared in my route though. I thought she would help us more or become part of the gang, but she didn't. Disappointed because I would have def liked another best friend besides Candy and again, more layer to the friend group. Her interaction with Michael would have def be interesting.

I also wish that non-romanced main love interests appeared more than the Black dragons. To me, I don't think their role fit with the story very well if you think about it. Luke and Stephanie def would. Stephanie's grandma is acquainted with Mrs. Hill and is a witch; Luke's family's hold over the cursed painting. I wish the black dragons' appearances were at least shared with the non-romanced ones. Like I wish I knew what Luke and Stephanie were up to in detail. It was seriously strange for Luke to not be around when Bobby was missing and that he never tried contacting us. In both seasons 2 and 3, I couldn't stop wondering what they were up to and missed them (although Luke drugged us lol).

So imo, the black dragons' role should def be less than Luke and Stephanie. Definitely weird, but it is what it is.

Speaking of the Black Dragon's, Aaron is a hot daddy. Like GOD DAMN. I couldn't help but flirt and kiss with him although I was scared that it might ruin my relationship with Michael 🤣🤣🤣. Cherry.. i would like cherry if he was drawn better. At first, I couldn't like him because of his sprite but his personality is ahh, so mischievous, I love it. I would have picked Aaron over cherry though LOL.

I would replay season 3 to romance them again, but the scenes are very few and I already played most of them. I'm just missing their final sex scenes really, so it's not really worth it to replay the entire season just to get their ending and final sex scene lol.

I can't bear to cheat on Michael with Aaron or cherry, I can't do him dirty like that. Like for FFS, Aaron married Luke's sister and we never, at least imo, build the same heart wrenching connection we do with Michael compared to them. And the fact that he freaking left everything in his life for 10 years to be with us!! Like nooo I can't!! 🤣🤣 there aren't enough scenes with the side characters to justify the cheating 🤣🤣 Michael is too gentle and sweet for the hurt.... but i did cheat on him with Derek HAHHAHA mostly because 1996 Michael wasn't available so I thought something happened so I was like ALRIGHT GUESS WE FUCKIN'. I was tempted to choose Derek over Michael because Derek has been with us more than Michael has. Not to mention, he really cares for MC. Wish there was a 3p ending with both of them 😭😭 they're both super loyal to MC and would lay their life down for her.

The same thing with John too. I can't bear to see Michael grieving over MC and MC picking John over him... can you imagine Michael dying and finally seeing his dearly desired dead gf in DreamWorld but only to see her gettin' it down with some guy who tried to kill everyone in the past? 🤣🤣🤣 nah man I can't do him dirty, especially when Michael saved us from the Faun. Speaking of that event, it was weird that there wasn't a conversation/consequence from Michael who saw John kiss us LOL. And he definitely heard us talking about the intimate moments we shared HAHAHAHA. Though, John's short route is terribly cute. I really enjoyed it tbh. Surprised that we didn't have any repercussions for cheating on Michael with him. Moving on, I watched his ending on YouTube and it was super bittersweet.😭

I honestly like his route a bit more than Aaron's. Or equally. Can't decide! Aaron's route is basically MC still in love with her old crush who used to intimidate her and was exciting since he's someone you wouldn't acquaint yourself with, especially as a young, inexperienced student. And then coming back as a mature woman, and still knowing that you're in love with him and he is still too, ah so cute. That moment you share with him in the snow on the swings 💕💕. Honestly I feel like that moment MC needed a proper adult figure to comfort her so that scene was a bit weird and made me think, hm, MC is probably crushing on him because he is older, hot, and is sort of providing a parental comfort to her lol. In my HC universe, MC crushes on him, but it quickly dies because she was vulnerable in the moment. I'm happy that that moment didn't escalate any further and that Aaron didn't chase MC unless MC did in the end. It would have been very weird because it would have been a moment where he, as an adult figure, take advantage of MC. Then again, it's fantasy/fiction. To each to their own eh? I still enjoyed it. I honestly could personally relate to the line where Mc says that the experience and age (something like this) provided comfort to her, so that moment felt awfully sweet to me.

In the end, there could only be so much you can push in in a story game app.

I still really enjoyed this story. Despite the flaws I pointed out, I love this story to every bits. I find this much more entertaining than SOTF, so I'm glad that it is written the way it is. Perhaps I should write a post about SOTF in the future since I'm close to finishing it, but I don't think I will since I don't like it much.

#romance club #shadows of saintfour #the shadows of saintfour #SOS

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sapphic-enigma · 5 years

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Hear me out! I don't think Catra is being selfish. I think she sees this as a path to accepting herself.

Catra, although is obviously being spurred on by her anger, has not shown she's a completely selfish person. We see her help or attempt to help/comfort multiple people, even ones she shouldn't care about, for things that would not benefit her at all.

Some examples are when she tried to comfort Shadow weaver when she was yelled at by Hordark/tried to help her stay off beast island, Gave adora the sword back and let her escape with Glimmer, When she connected and validated Scorpia's experience with the princess', and refused help from Scorpia that would have gotten her sent to beast island too.

She covered for Adora when she left snuck out of the fright zone to find the sword even though she knew SW had it out for her and, until recently she hasn't shown any real sort of belittling or reprimanding of her team even though they had several bad defeats while she was away and treated her like crap before she became a force captain. (a selfish jealous and vengeful person would take every opportunity to berate underlings) Even in the new season she acknowledges what a great help Scorpia is and how important she is to helping her get things done in the Crimson waste.

I mean she helped Adora and glimmer escape knowing it could get her in big trouble. And we know it's not because she simply wanted Adora gone because in episode 11 she clearly stated she was still hoping Adora would come back to the horde and that she was waiting for her to return. This could be seen in the way she fights adora/she-ra because she doesn't seem to be going all out. (I.E. she stops to flirt with her or stops to talk about the reasons Adora shouldn't have left her for these new people. Not ever fight but enough to see a pattern.)

Catra has been abused and bullied her whole life by the very people who were supposed to be there for her so it's no surprise she's finally saying there is something I want and I deserve it. Yes, I wish she picked a different hill to die on but this was that hill for her. Her whole life hinged on her being meaningless and only useful as a pet/scapegoat/sick kick to Adora. (even if adora never felt that way) SW tells her this is the harshest way possible, Lonnie jumps in to the fight when they were kids to help Adora, Lonnie threatens Catra when Adora isn't there, Hordak consigns SW thoughts on catra, even in the fake reality the guard is ready to go at it until Adora shows up behind Catra.

This isn't just her not wanting Adora to win, this is her saying she's not worthless, that she matters, and they were wrong to say she has not purpose without Adora. She wants to prove to everyone that they were wrong about her and most of all to herself that she means something when she's not attached to Adora. Is it misguided and the worst way to do it, hell yeah, but she was lead down this path by everyone around her. There's no surprise she thinks the only way to win and prove her worth is to beat the almighty Adora who has been lucky since birth when Catra was just lucky to be alive.

I know that was a lot but this season hurt my soul. Catra deserves someone to have more faith in her. Unfortunately Scopria isn't enough because she was there at the wrong time Catra's learned she needs to put walls up because everyone, even the best of them, betray her. She needed a healthy way to deal with the abuse she dealt with and a place outside of the fright zone to see her true worth. She could have got that in the CW but of course Adora drops the Shadow weaver bomb and Carta fucking leaves her own body. I think her mind really broke after that. Like after everything she's been through she's still being told she's never been good enough to be loved or cared about.

Catra didn't have time to be selfish because she was too worried about being enough for people who never planned on seeing her as important. Hell even Adora said she didn't have that much faith in her (I promise episode) and anytime she's protecting Catra she finds a way to condescendingly say she "agrees" with Catra that she didn't need help. I mean Adora left the horde when she found out what horrible things they were doing to other people but she didn't think the abuse Catra was facing was enough to want to run away or at very least doubt the truth about the horde?

Whether it was bright moon or the fright zone Adora had people and space to grow and the ability to make her own decisions Catra never had a chance to learn what it means to love herself, how would she be able to find the strength to runaway from the horde when she they've brainwashed her into believing she needs them to love her and acknowledge before she can be happy.

Is Catra wrong for trying to kill the whole planet, obviously. (although some part of me thinks she also wanted Adora to be wrong about it destroy the planet so she could have something else to be proud of) But she is one of the only people in his show who has had everything and person who could have helped her taken away since she was born. There's no wonder she snapped.

( @relaxdud So this was supposed to be a small reply to my earlier post but then I got all these feels so yeah now it's kinda t's own thing lol)

#catra #spop #she ra #catra deserves better #she ra season 3 #since she was a child they have been saying they will kill her with no remorse Who can hear that and not be fucked up?#How do you tell a literal child you will dispose of them #All she's ever known is violence #she can't even express being happy because it feels so damn foreign to her #ugh i just have so many feels #adora #shadow weaver #hordak #scorpia

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minblush · 6 years

Note

Leave mimi alone. If you could get over your jealousy for one second you would see would a sweet person she is. I follow her because she doesn't look for fights unlike blogs like yours. Yet there are fights on her blog cause of people who don't have anything better to do like you.

so it’s been a while and i finally worked up any sort of courage to address all of this and i will do it under this one ask because out of all the ones mimi’s “fans” sent me, this one was the most civil

i’m still shocked that i got so many people attacking me over rightfully calling mimi out, and ofc there is no jealousy involved, i guess i just don’t understand why she is the blog that anyone would want defend, like let me summarize

she only gets notes because she is fast with her updates, why is she fast? she just takes updates from twitter and twitter translators a lot of the time without crediting and without any factchecking herself

she spreads unverified information and rumours because of it and got into trouble because of it more than once

she posts sasaeng information and photos taken outside of official schedules in the boys’ private time despite being criticized for it (like the jikook vacation)

she also still has the fact that she “stalks” the boys in her bio, even though i know for a fact people told her many times it’s inappropriate in the context of the fan culture in korea

she is very ignorant about mental illness (the post where she claims that jimin suffers from depression and was saved from it by jin as a fact is still up btw), the entertainment business in korea, colorism and racism (she thinks “reverse racism” is an actual thing lol) and she spreads her harmful opinions by writing essays about it to her large following

what bothers me personally a lot as a gay person, she is one of those obnoxious delusional shippers and normalizes that behaviour to her followers and also fetishizes gay men to a really ugly extent (i’m not talking here about normal shipping BTW I SHIP LOWKEY TOO, it’s about boundaries though, i’m talking about writing conspiracy theories and fetishizing, FETISHIZING, treating sexuality as a joke and treating it like a commodity, direct quote from one of her very “funny” posts: “BTS is gay ! Shippers : Of course. Why would I stan straight boys ? Who does that ?”)

(and yes as someone said in the tags, apparently she also did make racial jokes and jokes about north korea etc, but i haven’t seen those myself, only saw people mention it second hand so since i don’t have receipts i wasn’t going to include it initially)

and that is all before the jonghyun issue, which i feel like is kind of a culmination of a lot of what i dislike about her blog

she didn’t wait for an official confirmation from SM and immediately started posting about his death, all actual fanbases of jonghyun and shinee waited until after the confirmation to actually post about it, because can you imagine if it wasn’t true (no matter how real it may seem?), just like other actual bts fanbases most of these serious blogs wait for official confirmations for anything, unlike mimi who just jumps on any opportunity for notes and for her to be the news bearer. you could see people asking her to wait until the confirmation in the notes of her first posts, BUT SHE DIDN’T LISTEN, instead she let her posts spread and only added confirmation much later when it came out (which is what she does in general, spreads rumours / unconfirmed info, then when confirmation or denial comes out she edits the post and apologizes in some extremely lowkey way, despite her getting the heat for it she keeps repeating the same pattern)

her posts were made from the point of view of a bts fan instead of a human being, she was extremely tribal by saying things like that “as a bts fan, as an army” i offer my hand to shawol etc, “jonghyun took care of bts”

then she made her post about saying how we should be grateful the boys are under BigHit and not SM, because bighit supports the boys in expressing themselves about mental illness and provides help for them, blaming the company and the entertainment business for jonghyun’s death, showing her complete ignorance, not only do we not know what bighit is actually like behind the scenes (do people not remember the scandal where one of the managers hit jungkook on camera?), but the issue is that this didn’t apply to sm anyway… because…jonghyun was very outspoken about his issues with mental illness, so were other sm artists like taeyeon or leeteuk, there was/is even a support group for idols under sm that these guys as well as others like onew or yoona were a part of

and depression isn’t that simple, jonghyun had friends and outlets, but if anyone has ever been depressed or suicidal, then you as i would understand that sometimes that doesn’t matter, depression is a serious illness and the illness just won in this case, this is an opportunity to spread awareness about the illness, to urge people to seek treatment as well (jonghyun sought it himself) not try to analyze and pin it on any company or any circumstance

yet mimi linked jonghyun’s death to being oppressed by his company, by having to hold things on the inside, as if he didn’t talk about it candidly and didn’t express himself in his music

what i also found distasteful but i also can’t prove anything and people grieve differently, i still raised my eyebrows because when she lashed out at people who got rightfully angry for her for using this opportunity for notes and to make it about bts and bighit, she revealed that she was upset and cried because she thought about how it could’ve been “one of her idols” that this happened to and that she didn’t even know shinee that well… she was very coherent up until that point, but when people called her out she started to cry and be very emotional and started to talk about how she had liked shinee since debut and jonghyun was her favourite (so she has been following them for like 10 years? that is longer than i have been into kpop and i am OLD and have liked shinee since 2009.. so she’s been a fan that long and doesn’t even know the basics of what jjong was like and what he dealt with?) and then went onto analyze his lyrics and talk about how she should’ve known, and her blog transformed into other people consoling her despite her being the person that upset so many people with what she had done… that stuff doesn’t add up for me, but that is just speculation since grief is different for everyone etc, it’s just something i personally can’t buy considering how she behaves online a lot of the time

she said she was sorry without actually acknowledging what she did wrong and after people defended her vehemently she actually changed her tune and started to say things like how it was a misunderstanding and even asked her followers to approach any people who were still “misunderstanding” and let them know, which,,, what even? i suppose i’m party this to thank for all the people that told me i was an ugly/jealous loser that should delete and/or die

and despite her being like this, despite her never learning from her mistakes, people still keep defending her and attacking people that call her out, and why?

i would agree if it were one mistake, everyone always says.. let’s educate her instead of attacking her, let her learn from her mistakes, that’s what life is all about, right? i agree, people grow from their mistakes

but.. SHE NEVER LEARNS! she keeps repeating the same things, no matter how many times she gets in trouble, and you guys keep enabling her, i think it’s this culture of fans stanning other fans that creates toxic behaviour like this, why would she change? why would she learn? why would she start and mature, why? when she has so many people telling her that it’s okay, that she is right and everybody else is wrong everytime she messes up? i think people that send me those messages are complicit really

i just wonder, what will she have to do for you guys to see that she isn’t someone worth sticking up to to this extent, because due to this environment, she won’t learn?

is she the hill you guys want to die on?

i often see people saying that she does a lot for the fandom, but? she doesn’t actually do anything special, she basically takes from others and profits from them, if you follow actual update blogs that do their homework, like allforbts, ktaebwi, sweaterpawsjimin, or vlissful on twitter, you will see the difference right away.. those are the people that do work for the fandom, she redistributes and doesn’t even thank those that did the work, there are people that spend dozens of hours translating and researching, books worth of content, people that paid for japanese tv subcriptions so they can record those shows for you, those are the people that do a lot, reposting tweets, anyone can do that (and a lot of people do, which is fine as long as due credit is given, what i’m saying is… it isn’t special and doesn’t require any effort at all, so why worship someone for like… doing the bare minimum? and sometimes not even that?)

why would you guys go to such an extent to then attack people that called her out, and rightfully, you guys would tell me a person with depression and an actual fan of jonghyun, that “if you care about jonghyun so much why don’t you join him”

over mimi? over someone who acts like all that i described? is that worth it… i don’t understand this cult-like mentality, even if she were an actual angel that did save the fandom, what in the world would make this okay?

i now have anxiety every time i try to get on tumblr and will have to work to overcome it because you people told me to die over calling HER out while going to her and telling her how everyone else sucks and she is a lovely angel…

and why she doesn’t pick fights? i talked to her in the past and let me tell you… she is stubborn and won’t change her mind and when she sees she can’t out-argue and manipulate the person SHE BLOCKS THEM and doesn’t let them express their views on her blog, no she only lets views that paint her as a victim there, she doesn’t let her followers see any validand CONSTRUCTIVE criticism

that’s why she seems like she is above it, like she is only nice and the angel and people like me are scum for ever saying anything, she is very smart about that aspect of things. but she isn’t above criticism (and neither am i), she is a human being like me or you :/.

i’m not telling you to hate her or attack her, don’t please.., i’m just asking you to see her for what she is, someone who is notes and attention hungry, someone who refuses to learn from her mistakes and someone who actually flaunts her ignorance, please give your time and attention and thankfulness to people in the fandom that aren’t like that :( and mostly, don’t go around telling people that call her (or anyone) out to die like.. please?

if she wanted to defend herself she could always talk to me, or anyone, or address it in a constructive manner, instead of relying on her followers to do that for her while publishing dozens asks on her blog that praise her and tell her how everybody else is wrong

she isn’t a celebrity, she can speak for herself

the fact that she chooses to deal with things the way she does says it all, right?

just…please reconsider stanning other fans, it creates all this toxicity, nothing good comes out of it, that is mostly what i wanted to say

and she specifically isn’t worth all the hurt

thanks

#ask #anon #it took me so long to address this and i know no one will care at this point but #i had so many asks attacking me and i feel like tumblr isn't even safe for me anymore #and all over tHAT BLOG? really ugh

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clumsyclifford · 3 years

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hello!! i am back and on desktop this time. the blog is just as pretty. alex + yellow = v v attractive jfc. this is a long one so buckle in.

to begin: i hope you have the most fun on your day road trip and sing your heart out to atl and taylor swift. i love driving long distances and idk just driving in general is fun. have the absolute best time MWAH

my birthday is in november!! november 23 to be specific. i share it with miley cyrus which is something i always found to be very cool when i was growing up and watching hannah montana. it also means i am a sagittarius and funny little fact i realized is that my best friend is a gemini. alex and jack are also a sagittarius and a gemini. from being 13 i know that tyler and josh from twenty one pilots are also a sagittarius and a gemini. something about sagittarius and gemini besties idk.

also yeah!! ao3 year in review!! it's a bit complicated to figure out at first and if you read a lot the finding pages thing can be pretty tedious, but it's def worth it once you figure it out. it gives you a lot of different stats about everything you read and it's pretty cool. now i am going to go look at your fics to remember my favs. you deserve the praise so i am willing to offer it. jeez you write a lot i respect the motivation sm. you write quite a bit of angst and i won't lie i try to stay away from angst so i haven't read your fics that seem super angst-y based on the tags. BUT there are still so many i recall reading and loving nonetheless. on a quick scroll-through: i usually don't read high school AUs but "paint me in trust (i'll be your best friend)" was super adorable and lovely. "thank god i'm yours" is one of my favs iirc. also i love love love "it's not always easy (but i'm here forever)" like yes please romanticize alex gaskarth i love it sm. "i won't be silent (and i won't let go)" and "i fell asleep in a city that doesn't" are both super fluffy and romantic and are favs of mine. in case you haven't picked up on it i adore very fluffy and romantic fics lmao. alright i am continuing to scroll and there are so many more i could list that i love but this section is getting quite long. just know if it's about a kitchen or hotel rooms being for lovers i probably read it and adored it and that pov is so valid.

waterparks!! will not lie i only really started listening to them about 6 months ago having been distantly aware of their existence for several years by being a fan of bands in the same genre. listen as long as you let yourself be vaguely annoyed by awsten is prevents you from being in love with him. follow him on any social media platform for like a day and you'll be sick of him typing in nothing but all caps within hours. simply do not romanticize him and you can keep yourself from falling!! so this is coming from a slightly fake parx fan, but some of my favs by them have been peach (lobotomy), crave, numb, fuzzy, violet!, you'd be paranoid too, and lowkey as hell. that is a very songs-from-their-most-recent-album-heavy rec, but whatever. i did give the disclaimer about being a fake parx fan.

yeah hayley does have 2 solo albums now!! petals for armor and flowers for vases / descansos. pfa is the one i didn't really like upon first listen but has grown on me. i haven't even listened to the second one in its entirety oops but we won't mention it. dead horse is good but simmer (pretty sure that was the other single??) just ain't it for me. the album has some lovely songs but it's just a hit or miss album all the way through. some favs of mine on it include pure love, taken, crystal clear, watch me while i bloom, and why we ever. it's sorta a storyline album about healing if that adds anything to it?? but anyways. i started listening to paramore around the time after laughter dropped and it grew to be one of my fav albums in existence. idle worship is probably one of my fav songs like ever. i def understand being slightly put off by bands with songs that make religious references (me with twenty one pilots' earlier music that makes a lot more religious references considering i'm not religious whatsoever) but i think i am blinded by being in love with hayley williams and just ignore it. idk that she's like super religious?? she's addressed believing in god and stuff a few times but she's def not the "rub it in your face" type and if she's making refs in music more recently then they're subtle enough i'm not noticing them. ik albums like brand new eyes had a lot more because it was shortly after that the band split and the songwriting process was essentially her and ex-bandmate co-songwriter arguing about their religious beliefs (turns out he ended up being super homophobic and transphobic all based on his religion so do with that what u will and thank the clown for leaving). i feel u on the "i meant to start listening to them" because that's essentially how i started listening to them. i told myself i was going to and then finally forced myself to do it. fuck falling for awsten knight what's more risky is falling in love with hayley </3

also yeah!! you've articulated my feelings towards tde. every song is so vastly different that it's hard to like it all. #1 fan is pretty decent though, and that's not just my bias about finding both ross and his gf hot and a cute couple and getting to see them together and ross half naked in a mirror in the video nope not at all. he's my fav himbo!! he has no personality!! no thoughts head empty!! i still love him and his strawberry-growing saga on twitter tho <3 the hazard of being in love with ross lynch since i was 12. girlfriend better be a fucking banger and there's quite a few already released singles in the tracklist so i have hope. i believe my show is in chicago on november 19 which is a thursday. kinda sucks since i intentionally bought the chicago tix nearly two years ago (the show was originally supposed to be april 25 2020. lol.) because the show was on a saturday and i have to drive 3 hours to get there. obviously i can't speak for them as tde but r5 shows always fucking slapped and i can vouch for them (realized i haven't seem them live since 2016?? 5 YEARS?? wtf) so if u genuinely like them. would recommend going to see them.

anyways. i have not listened to luke's solo album yet. i plan on it. this has gotten so long but i tried to respond in all areas and even organized it in different paragraphs this time (thanks being on desktop!!). hope you are well. hope you have a lovely day. hmm what's a little "going on in my life" fact. i got new glasses a few days ago and my eyes essentially said fuck off because adjusting to the new prescription has left me with eyes that hurt and occasionally slightly nauseous. here is to hoping my eyes get their shit together. mwah LOVE YOU TOO - the other bella/cubs anon/idk

okay hi hello. i have put this off because holy hell it's long but let's do it. i am putting a cut because this whole thing is long even without my answer

first: the road trip was super fun thank you!!! i am intrigued by this information regarding sags and geminis, we should do some scientific inquiry. enquiry. i don't know if there's a difference between those words.

aha! well i tried the ao3 year in review thing and i would say it had about 55% accuracy but still i agree it's fun to look back at that kind of stuff. and i feel you on the angst thing i go through phases of writing angst-heavy stuff and then writing very fluffy stuff and it is entirely based on my mental state buuuut i have lots of fluff and i'm glad you found it all and that you liked it yay <333 KITCHENS ARE FOR LOVERS i will die on that fuckin hill. hotel rooms as well but primarily kitchens.

dfgjhgdlfkhgdfmj honestly i dont use twitter enough that i would see his tweets enough that that would bother me also the fact that he tweets in all caps means that i just picture him yelling everything he tweets which i find absolutely hysterical so i don't think that would help. i have added these parx songs to my listen asap playlist and will get to them when i get a chance thank you i am excited also i already know lowkey as hell and it slaps super hard so im very much lookin forward to the rest of these. merci merci

YEAH simmer was the one i didnt vibe with. and honestly i feel zero compulsion to get into hayley williams as a solo artist. i just don't vibe enough to want to do that so i doubt i'll be listening to her anytime soon but maybe if i hear the songs in passing or get super bored one night, idk who can really say. but yeah christianity typically puts me off of music (speaking as a very jewish bitch) although there are notable exceptions in the cases of thomas rhett and the driver era. i'm just not attached to hayley enough to be like ehhh this doesnt matter. does that make sense

FAVORITE HIMBO PLEASE HGSDFGDFGKLFGJ i dont follow him on twitter but i have seen some interviews of ross and rocky and tbh they're great i love the way ross speaks like i like his speech mannerisms and i like his FACE and HAIR and. yeah. i think hes pretty. and i think he and 5sos SHOULD collab i think that would be sexy as hell. can you imagine that. oh my god can you imagine a ross lynch/luke hemmings collab. i'm not even really talking to you anymore bella because i know you haven't listened to luke yet and don't have a stake in it but if anyone else is reading this long ass answer. ross & luke collab. okay im going to move on and not think about that now. but i probably won't see tde unless i get a job this semester because i'm trying to stop spending so much money on big indulgent things like concerts likeee i was in a really good habit of not spending that much and then suddenly i got paid for one summer and i was just goin Crazy and i need to dial it back. plus i wanna see ajr and noah kahan equally bad so like. i have to make some calls about priorities here. it's Much to think about

good luck to your eyes i'm sure your new glasses are hella cute tho!!! LOVE YOUUUUUUU

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