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smile-files · 2 days

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i think the main issue in arguing with zionists is that, well, they believe in zionism! if israel did deserve to exist, then the genocide and injustice in palestine could be argued for (not like it should be, but it certainly could) -- and zionists believe israel deserves to exist.

i, unfortunately, have a large amount of experience interacting (personally) with zionism and zionists. most of those i've talked to feel for the palestinians, and the violence they are facing, but they fail to realize (or they staunchly deny) the very, very active part israel and the IDF have had in that -- and how it's representative of what the nation has always done.

at the same time, they focus more on israeli hostages than palestinian ones -- and i know, of course, that these zionist jews i've interacted with are either israeli or have loved ones in israel, and so have a very personal stake in the safety of israeli hostages (which may very well be friends or family members), but i find it strange how much emphasis they put on hamas' cruelty in taking hostages while the IDF is doing the same thing (in essence; the exact details of who's doing it worse are important to note, but not relevant right now, because folks should realize that their side is being at least as cruel as the enemy's).

recently i was drawn into an argument with an israeli zionist (who, unfortunately, is very close to the action and tragedy by being israeli), and she was incredibly offended by my anti-zionism and my opposition to israel's abject cruelty to palestinian citizens, as it seemed (to her) like i was bypassing the cruelty hamas has enacted on israeli citizens -- which is very telling. i've noticed that we as jews have the tendency, whatever the situation may be, of focusing more on our pain than the pain of others, even if we are the ones hurting them. that person has every reason to be scared and hurt, and i'd be lying if i said her response wasn't at least somewhat sympathetic, but her pain in this horrible, violent conflict does not invalidate the pain on the other side. jews, throughout this recent crisis, have consistently not talked in depth about the constant losses in palestine -- am i suddenly being callous by focusing on those losses, and not our own? (YOUR PAIN AND THEIRS AREN'T MUTUALLY EXCLUSIVE, YOU DOLT! sorry...)

because it all comes down to believing in israel! my mom has always told me about how beautiful it is there, about her time living on a kibbutz... and sure, it might be nice. i can't argue with that. but why is it that our nationalism for israel is so strong, so virulent? i have not seen patriots as loyal for any other country. and when you criticize israel, israelis feel like you're criticizing their entire existence -- and many non-israeli jews do, as well. because zionism has been built so deep into the modern religion! it's made to be a necessary piece! belief in it is the default!

and, from the inside looking in, i can't be surprised that many jews take anti-zionism as being antisemitic -- because, to them, israel and zionism stand as the pinnacle of safety and support for the jewish people. it is impossible to argue with them about anything above that base layer, as the base layer itself serves as a foundation: so long as a jew thinks that israel is right, deserved, and necessary, no proof will sway them into hating israel. it's just impossible, and that's very frustrating.

for me in particular, i find it very frustrating, as this single idea has turned so many people i know to support a genocidal entity. they believe in and support israel, so they stand with it now -- even if they condemn its current actions, they neglect how those actions are just an extension of its inherent existence -- whether they think israel's doing the right thing or wrong thing right now, they don't really care at the end of the day, because israel, to them, is necessary in keeping the jewish people alive. they stand with it, thinking that jews can only stand at all if they do.

but a genocidal crutch is no crutch at all: it only breaks us more. zionist jews make me so mad, and the worst part is that i could never express that to them in a way they'll understand.

#melonposting #anti-zionism #israel #i am so madddd and frustrated and stressed #with the whole camp thing going on my parents will inevitably find out (and soon!) that i'm anti-zionist #and given their age and proximity -- they're so deeply entrenched in zionism that i can't even hope to sway them #it's so sad and scary (i don't want them to be mad at me -- even though that really isn't the important thing here)#but it's also philosophically bizarre... like these people have good principles!#it's just this one tiny stupid thing (believing in israel) that's effectively turned them into bad people!#<- it's weird saying something like that. because i don't think they're bad people. but they're zionist.#part of it is that they're my parents and i love them but also... they're so good otherwise. a single thing went wrong.#(okay well not a single thing but it's generally minute things y'know?)#i don't wanna hate my parents. and i don't want them to hate me. can they please for the love of god stop #(takes every jew i know by the shoulders and shakes them back and forth) PLEAAAASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOPPPPPPP #anyway it's very hard for me to do work because i have this on my mind.#how do i break it to my parents that 1. i won't be working at camp this summer and 2. it's because i hate zionism?#i'm not cut out for situations like these ughhhhh why did i have to post that stupid anti-zionist instagram story in march #i could've just chosen not to take the job on my own accord and have enough time to come up with an excuse for my parents #whatever. too late for that. i dug my grave and now must lie in it #i guess it's character-building?? :')

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bison-appreciation-club · 3 months

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so yall telling me that i am wanted and lovable...

#like. i got invited to someone's birthday and i thought it was at the wrong place #so i went there and they weren't there and in a previous friend group they used to tell me to wait for them in a certain place #and they'd never arrive. and it would turn out that everyone else had gone and were having fun without me knowing i would just be waiting #for them. and so i was like. huh. guess that happened again #but turns out i was just in the wrong place and now i feel like shit #because i feel like it's all gonna be one massive trick and i feel like a dick for not being able to trust anyone #i'm so used to not asserting myself and not saying what i want because i've been taught i won't be lovable otherwise and now i don't know #when i'm lovable and when i'm not. what do you mean i can be lovable without having to do anything first? lmao ok then #and my friends are all so nice to me and i feel bad for being so suspicious because of past experiences #vent in tags #dee rambles #to delete #tw vent

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prototypelq · 8 months

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DMC Questions Anon here!

Take every character you wish to and tell me what you think is the most emotionally devastating situation they could be put in and how they would react to it.

Hi, Ember! You just had to do the ask around the DMC1 anniversary and the twins' very bad absolutely no good horrible terrible birthday huh) lol we love angst in dmc everything is completely fine

To be perfectly honest with you I am surprised the twins are... somewhat functioning persons after all the shit they went through. I mean, they are barely functional, and 5 was just one massive mental breakdown for both of them but still! They remain Somewhat sane which is very hard to believe to tell the truth, and they really need years of extensive therapy (...also any therapist they go to will need therapy themselves after a session with the twins, I feel sorry for the poor soul).

All of this is to say that this is my ask and I don't want the twins to suffer too much)

this is also the reason I side with the 'twins have normal human lifespan' answer in Raven's poll, because Sparda Luck has had nothing good in store for them ever, and prolonging their years means risking their fragile mental health even more. they just really need a leave/retire at this point and my wish for them is to live their years in relative peace

I'l go over the twins briefly as I don't want them to go through shit again, the canon was cruel enough towards them. Nero is their weak spot. Nero is extremely important to the twins, because he is the physical manifestation of hope for their future. Before 5 the answer to this question would have been each other, as the pain of being the lone brother has been familiar for each of them and has been festering for decades at this point, but it all changed in 5. The ending of 5 shows rekindling of their brotherhood, it it was only possible thanks to Nero, as in 5 both of them were so exhausted they wanted just to end everything*

*I've discussed this with Raven, and we bounced around the idea that the circumstances of twins 'mutual agreement for the end' was not so mutual in details. Vergil was exhausted and had no idea what to do next, except have one last great stand with his brother, and to force Dante's hand to end him. But to bait Dante into doing that, he had to go all out during their battle, so Dante kind of rightfully assumed Vergil was out for his blood. Again. DMC3 tragic parallels my beloved.

I doubt Vergil realised how badly this was all going for Dante, or the consequences of such action on his twin. Though Dante absolutely knew he could not live with himself after ending Vergil again, and that's exactly why he left the deed (= inheritance for Nero) behind before going on this hunt. He thought it would be his last.

It would be curious to see Vergil's reaction to that information, I think if he learns of the deed he'll piece the puzzle himself, and then there is going to be an Interesting conversation between the twins. I doubt Vergil would have gone through with his plan if he knew the toll it would take on Dante, and Vergil never wanted his brother dead.

Nero is the twins future. He gave them a deserved slap as a wake up call, he reminded them of the possibilities the future could hold, while twins only ever look to the past. They found kinship in their shared respect and fondness of Nero, this is their starting point to heal.

Loosing another after 5 would be, of course, extremely painful for either of them (arguably worse for Dante, as his mental state is pretty much in shambles in 5, and Vergil was the same before that, literally in his case, but he has new page now, he just has trouble figuring out what to do with it), but with Nero's help they just might be able to pull through.

But if anything happened to Nero himself? I don't think twins, even with their bond rekindled would be truly able to come back from that. So yeah, the twins' weak spot is Nero.

Nero`s weakspot is obviously family, however much has been much kinder to him in that aspect than the twins. He grew up loved and cared for in his adopted family, but with his own isues of course. While Nero had not knew Dante&Vergil for very long, he certainly does take after his uncle&father (must be the Sparda heritage) in term of issues, because Nero combines the twins' together! Nero struggles simultaniously with self-worth and the need for recognition, which I reckon, will give him A Time while the twins are gone, and if anything they will only worsen after their return too. Nero has already unlocked two power-ups, yet he is abandonned by the twins (for reasons he will have to come to terms with) And he is not even close to their power levels (Vergil only lost to Nero because he did not want to fight in the first place and was exhausted). Nero has been trying to establish himself... for his entire life, but every major demonic outbreak had Required a Dante call, Nero had not been able to handle it on his own. And after twins return this issue will only persist, because he means so much to the twins, he now basically has a very agressive safety net, which all the spardas will have to work together to solve.

Also I could have just said family. Nero will be worrying over twins the entire time of their absence, no doubt about it. Hopefully, in the meantime of awaiting their return, he will look into whatever he can find of their history, and he will get at least a rough picture of what the hell the brothers have been through and why they had to go together.

Other weakpoint of Nero's is, of course, Kyrie. I actually have no idea how he leaves their home, knowing his blood attracts demons, which are already plenty in Fortuna, and with canon suggesting no special abilities to defend herself with. If something happens to her it will be devastating for him, but Nero has grew up with good support system around him, he has another adopted sibling in Nico, and now even his blood relatives are close. It will be hard, but I believe he could pull through with all of their help. (but I want nothing bad to happen to Kyrie)

Same applies for Kyrie - she will be tortured by the loss of nero if it came to that, but hopefully she will be able to work through that loss.

#why did this post turn out so long and a kind-of character opinion post I literally started on it immedeately after receiving the ask #oh well what can you do except read it I guess #i thought about adding others but to be honest the answers after nero will be pretty much the same #patty will have a terrible time if she lost nina or dante both obviously mean a lot of her #they are also her only line of defense against demons otherwise its life on the run #i feel like trish will have an easier time if she were left alone actually because she will always have History with the twins and will #never be able to fully move on from that while they remain in contact sorry for saying this but this is the only take i have on a character #forced to traumatise her friends with just her appearance alone this is a solvable issue untill someone leaves the equasion #lucia will have a bad time when matier passes as she is her only family and friend as far as we know #dmc3 cerberus won't have anymore traumatising situations because he was broken) sorry still not over my fuming over cerberus disrespect #dmc questions anon #dmc #dante sparda #vergil sparda #the sparda loser twins #nero sparda #dmc kyrie

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weepylucifer · 1 year

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We only meet the students for such a brief time, just a blip in their lives. Like the other characters in DE, there’s no way of really telling what they’re like when we don’t see them and when they’re not interacting with a cop. With them, since they seem to mirror Harry and Kim to some degree, it’s especially fascinating to wonder what Harry-and-Kim-like traits they might have that we’re not shown. Like this,

*just gives depression to Steban* sorry my boy

#it's nowhere near as bad as harry's got it. but let's check back in on that in 20 years #sorry my boy! it's not all the time! i make you feel very good a lot of the time i prommy!#but look the guy's literally making a fledgeling Expression in his portrait. i am seeing it i cannot unsee it!#and the role of uli in this is very... he's NOT a caretaking person by nature. but he probably learns to handle this #he's not the voice of REASON he's a cheerleader and often that would make him an enabler #Sometimes tho he IS the voice of ''okay no today's class is exam-relevant so we're getting up and we're brushing our hair and we're going''#posts by me #also i love the kind of love that is like. one person struggling to keep it together but knowing without doubt that the other person's there #like ''everything i ever believed in might be false. but i do know one thing. there's another little guy here and he won't leave''#idk i just noticed like... when harry's asking all these questions like ''what's the POINT? is there ANY hope?'' steban is like...#really struggling? like he never says ''psh of COURSE everything's gonna turn out GREAT!''#like his answers give a vibe of ''look we gotta believe in Something otherwise what do we get out of bed for''#i'd really like to see what that looks like when he's harry's age

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sansloii · 10 months

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this has been in the back of my mind since last night but: Dakota likes grabbing or just gently holding her partner's waist. the gender of her partner doesn't matter because she will do it regardless. she's the type of person that will gently move her partner if she's trying to get past them or she needs them to inch over for something. she'll also put her hand on the small of their back... or move them by their shoulders and stuff like that, but you know... the hips are there and it's free real estate :)

#⚜ ┊ ( d. headcanons )#.that's it that's the headcanon #.she won't do it if her partner doesn't like it #.but otherwise she will #.she also doesn't care if it's done to her in turn #.she's okay with it but she gets more out of being the one to do it

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beholdthemem · 2 years

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I remember as a kid, Gingivere having genuine concern and affection towards Verdauga- which did actually seem to be somewhat returned? In our first introduction to him, he reprimands Tsarmina for snapping at her brother, before gently-but-firmly reprimanding Gingivere for not fighting his own battles- was my first exposure to the idea that someone could be both a loving parent, yet a bad person.

I was so used to the bad guys I found in fiction being like. Either Ozai level abusive parents, to sort of cement that 'They're so callous that they don't treat their own children any better than the other people they hurt!'- or bad guys that SEEMED really awful until we saw that they loved their kids to indicate 'See, they aren't so bad, there's some good in them after all!'

And then there was Verdauga.

Verdauga was not a good guy. Before we actually meet him, we see what his rule over the country has done to the people there. Poverty abounds. There's little to no food for the citizens living near Kotir, and we know that's not because there was never any to begin with- no matter how many mouths you have to feed, whatever you can harvest is to go to the castle. Anybody who objects is either killed or imprisoned. When we meet Ben and Goody, they're trying to decide whether or not to risk freezing to death trying to escape- what ends up being the deciding factor is that their young children will have to start working in the fields at Kotir if they don't. That's how life IS under the wildcats.

And then we meet Verdauga- old, ill, nearing the end of his life but no less violent for it- and watch how he interacts with his children. He doesn't insult them. He doesn't demean them. He treats them... with a certain amount of respect. He's in charge, but doesn't rub that in their faces unnecessarily, only exerting authority to make a point. He's not overtly sentimental, but we can see that to a certain extent he cares about them.

That was a new concept, and I still remember being fascinated by the implications.

#redwall #like for gingivere to be that torn up when verduaga dies the old man had to have put some effort into the fatherhood thing #idk what his relationship with tsarmina was like- like she had no problem helping him into the grave but at the same time-#i don't think she HATED him? she saw him as an obstacle to power definitely but it didn't seem... personal exactly.#she seemed to find him more annoying than anything else. and... verduaga knew that i think and didn't particularly resent her #for it. like if he'd known for certain it was her that was getting him killed he'd be angry/violent- but i think #in the same way he would if it were anyone else. it wouldn't be a super personal betrayal. i think he and tsarmina are just.#built the same way. and he recognizes that. they think in the same patterns and have similar emotional attachments/lack thereof. he wouldn'#be emotionally betrayed by what tsarmina did to him because in her shoes he'd have done the same. it's just logical.#but gingivere... y'know what i think maybe he wasn't expecting gingivere to be the way he is. and when his son- despite attempts #to teach him otherwise- turned out to be gentle verduaga wasn't sure what to do with that. he understands tsarmina.#tsarmina's like him just 2 degrees more ruthless. gingivere... verduaga had no clue how to understand gingivere. he doesn't have the #ruthlessness gene. and rather than exploit that because gingivere was HIS he tried to protect him and maybe hoped he'd grow out of it #because in his experience gentleness is not a GOOD thing. it's something that can be crushed. he doesn't want to do that to gingivere but h #also knows he won't be around forever and that other people absolutely will- especially tsarmina. because gingivere is NOT tsarmina's son #and therefore she has no reason not to do The Logical Thing. 'stand up for yourself im not going to be here much longer and i need to know #that when im not you have some chance of survival'. he loves gingivere because he doesn't understand him at all and he can't HELP loving hi #for that.

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kelpiemomma · 7 months

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i really need to draw khan and emmet hanging out bc they would be such buddies. ingo hates how quickly they bonded bc khan took one look at emmet, at how excited emmet is to battle, and seemed to Immediately like him (it only bc khan had already bonded w ingo, but like hell will he ever admit that. that proves he has emotions! he has to hide those.) khan & emmet battling each other. khan takes over for ingo sometimes on the multi trains except he and emmet get so into battles that they need a chaperone to keep them from getting too rowdy bc somehow (???) they've managed to destroy a couple of train cars??? khan challenges the subway himself (he battles using himself but also his pokemon. he'd rather battle using himself, but ingo and emmet get awfully concerned when he faints so he stops doing it so much). khan and emmet discuss battle tactics (khan insists "offense is the best defense" and "go balls to the walls immediately on attack" and emmet argues for better strategizing and well rounded move pools) and help each other train, offering suggestions and tips and "hey, let's try this maneuver" or "i think it would be better if you did this move first".

not that they don't enjoy an off day, but they definitely bonded well over battles.

#khan a.#just some thoughts #ingo is a little jealous over just how quick khan seemed to take to emmet but khan saw how ingo behaved around his brother and knew #he didn't have to worry. he based his reaction off ingo. not that he still liked emmet immediately (he didn't even immediately like akari-#he's been burned too many times to so quickly and willingly open his heart like that) but while it took him at least a year to go from #dubiously tolerating ingo for akari to hanging out with ingo with the excuse of 'having nothing better to do' and even longer to say #'yeah these are my people and i will protect them' (bc admitting he likes them?? that he loves that they love him?? that he would #keep them safe at the cost of his own life without hesitation? oh he'll admit he'll protect them but he would not say out loud #just how far he'd go to protect them.) it took him a few weeks to go from eyeballing emmet still suspiciously to going out of his way #to engage emmet in conversation and approach him. ofc he still approached emmet by way of 'i saw your battle. try me >:)' and challenging #him. but he wasn't threatening to kill him or anything. akari saw how khan watched ingo for his cues tho (bc she was doing the same thing.#that may have been her dad's brother but he was still just a stranger to her. she's been hurt by enough strangers.)#and she thinks its funny that ingo will grumble and complain about khan not threatening emmet like he'd threatened ingo in the beginning #(when khans not around ofc) but won't say it to his face. ingo is an Adult. he's Above Tthat. he's NOT jealous and upset that this #feral bastard has left him behind for a new treat (his OWN TWIN.) nevermind that khan will turn down emmet if ingo has a task for him #and that khan still drops in for dinner with them (drops everything if ingo invites him (through akari) for dinner).#ingo is still khan's preferred twin (unintentional human pack instinct & dog instinct bonding to ingo) but #he's glad that emmet exists as well. he's privately glad the twins exist and that ingo ended up in hisui and that nana yeeted him to arceus #bc what a sad & pathetic existence he'd have otherwise had. fighting w nana and getting his mind wiped. arguing w customers.#he'd have stagnated until he self destructed.#ANYWAY. i love my OC and the family he accidentally got himself inserted into.

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causticsunshine · 11 months

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hellooo for anyone interested in reading this year's momrry—if you're able to vote via twitter, please let me know if you have a chapter formatting preference here!

seeing as how i've paced things, i'll be able to break the fic up either way easily! it just depends on whether you guys would like fewer chapters that are quite long, or a few more chapters that are a little bit shorter that the former (but honestly not by much lol).

any feedback is greatly appreciated <3

#also if you cannot vote but would like to feel free to send me message anon or otherwise!#but anyway #resolved sigh back at it again being a wip queen #there'll be a note in the fic's AN touching on this but once the fic gets added onto/finished i'll remove it bc it won't be relevant #i plan to continue writing w/o breaks until it's finished bc i'm really liking it + am still really motivated to power through #but alas it's not going to be completely done by tuesday when it's still scheduled to go live so stay tuned #because i very much like it and am excited to finish it and see what people think of it <3 #(hoping it'll also help me with the huge writer's block i've had with LGOAP as a big part of why that one is still unfinished is #due to the transition from part one to part two just never turning out well enough for me? so i'm really hoping #that by writing more momrry something will finally come to me and that one will be finished at long last too 🤞)

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fjordfolk · 1 year

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do you have a sire picked out for troja?

nope

#moving parts #i'm keeping an eye out and weighing my options but won't set my heart on anything before breeding her becomes a real-life possibility lol #my life and living situation would have to drastically change first anyway #and she might still turn out not viable if it turns out our vet really DID hear a heart murmur on the last checkup #everything will be up in the air until there are concrete plans otherwise #still hoping something will pop up in sweden (or norway) so i can either meet or quiz a 3rd party on temperament

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pizzaandcoffeeintherain · 10 months

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*Screams in excitement!* I'm just 10 minutes into My Fireworks on Earth and there's no cutesy fluffy vibe but longing, angst, and seriousness. Lots of whump in the trailers. I think this is my jam! I can't believe it!

#my fireworks on earth #yang yang #wang churan #c drama #Chinese drama #fireworks of my heart #please let me finish this show #dying of excitement #i need to get ready and go out soon though #chores on hold too?#work on hold?#or pace myself otherwise i won't get anything done #and will run out of episodes to watch #and turn into a zombie

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pearl-kite · 2 years

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👉👈care to attempt a Nemo in Berry Smoothie?

Nemo 💜

#thank you for the prompt <3<3 #idk why but I really enjoy doing these #I think I've said that before but it holds true even now #I hope this turned out right o3o #had fun either way #that palette is tasty #oh if you want eh full sized one of this and the one of ronan let me know and I can send them to you somehow o3o #if anyone else wants to send prompts I'm still taking them o3o #ocs if you're a mutual animals or established characters otherwise o3o #kirehn draws #drawing prompts #starrypawz #really appreciating the halftones I bought years ago #I feel like my brain wants to include something else but it won't tell me what so I'm shutting up now

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anti-transphobia · 2 years

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There's a lot to be said about people who see positive blanket statement posts about emotions and human experiences and saying "not EVERYONE can feel love of any kind, not EVERYONE can care about others, not EVERYONE can experience empathy OR sympathy, not EVERYONE can xyz " but one thing I never hear people say is: yeah that's why it's a disorder

There's a big difference between advocating for "hey, not everyone can feel some sort of sympathy for others and that doesn't make them a bad person" and then seeing posts about how amazing it is that humanity has gotten where it is because of our ability to care for others and connect with each other on our issues and help each other through things and taking that as an attack on people who do not experiencing these things

Because yes. That's why it's considered a disorder. People are not bad for having disorders! There is no reason to stigmatize ANY of them. But it is a disorder. It is something different from the normal average settings of the human brain. If it wasn't, these people wouldn't have a disorder!

So when people say something like "caring for others is a deeply human experience" it doesn't (inherently) mean "if you don't care for others, you're not human". It means humans were meant to care. And if you don't? You're not a bad person. But it's why you have a disorder. The way you feel or don't feel or act or refuse to act is not intended

I'm not sure I'm wording this right but like. If you don't experience a unifying human experience because of a disorder: that's why it's considered a disorder. You're not less human than other people, and you're worthy of respect. But there's no reason to get offended at people talking about it. "Don't call this normal thing normal because I'm different!" Yes that's why it's a disorder. That is why. It's a disorder

As a person with many stigmatized disorders that has left them missing out on normal human experiences: part of having a disorder is acknowledging that you're different. And that's fine. And it can be sad to realize that you've missed out on something so important to others and the history of humanity, and it's not your fault, but you don't need to lash out on other people's celebrations of it

#this post is really about like people complaining about varying abilities to care and connect to others but I'm sure it can apply to other #things #not written the best but oh well #also like. if you lash out because you know you're different which is okay to be! the things you could improve on for the good #of yourself and others #you won't be able to #my desire for justice has existed within me since birth. however so has pure undiluted violence and hatred #i was one year old the first time i tried to kill my father #i also lacked empathy sympathy AND compassion #i am inherently a ruthless motherfucker #and that didn't start to change until a few important turning points in my life #where i had to understand myself and teach myself otherwise for the benefit of myself and others #now not everyone can 'teach' themselves out of a disorder #like depression isn't removed via knowledge you need to get better #but understanding myself and that im different and why things like compassion and sympathy and empathy are normal #led me to slowly start trying to display more compassion #it led to me being able to experience sympathy towards others #and even eventually the teensiest bit of a few forms of empathy #not everyone can do that and I'm not saying everyone can #but how in the world are you going to try if you don't acknowledge that you're different?#(not EVERYTHING needs to be 'fixed'. like low empathy people can be wonderful. i specifically had to be fixed for the better #and could not do so without recognizing the importance of what i lack)

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0rchidm4ntis · 2 years

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.......... so I started elden ring-

#mica rambles #game posting #it's actually a lot more fun than I expected??? I thought I'd die quicker than I did :D #but turns out I'm actually somewhat good at dodging!! hurray!!#I've decided to be an astrologer <33 bc magic fucks you can't convince me otherwise #I won't be able to play it a lot but I'm gonna do everything I can to get better at it!#elden ring

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selvepnea · 6 months

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almost hit a deer this morning!

#Sel talks #My second deer encounter!#And what a fucking idiot!#Slowing down coming into town; train passing by #Spot a deer between me and the train; maybe 20 feet off the road #“Wow! A cool deer! Surely it's far enough away and won't start barreling towards the road- hEY-”#I was so close to hitting that thing #So glad I have a small car that can slow quickly #Otherwise! My instinct to slow down! Probably! Wouldn't have turned out as well!!

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shotmrmiller · 2 months

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pornstar au

f!reader x simon 'ghost' riley

3.7k words (sorry)

tw: teacher-student relationship but it's just a scene for porn. explicit. horrifyingly so.

You burst into the classroom and stride purposefully towards your professor, who is seated in his leather chair, engrossed in his work. Impatiently tapping your foot, you waited for him to finish marking essays. However, after 5 minutes, your patience with this unbearable man ran out.

"Professor."

He hums, a deep sound coming from the back of his throat yet doesn't look up from what he's doing. A real piece of work, he is. How fucking aggravating.

"Professor Riley," your voice takes an irreverent tone.

The hand that had been writing non-stop comes to a sudden pause, and he finally directs his attention to you. Meeting your gaze, his dark eyes are hooded, his lips set in a firm line. His job is to literally deal with students, yet he dares to look annoyed.

"Are you gonna tell me what's wrong 'r am I gonna have to learn how to read minds?" he states.

Taking in a calming breath, you clench the crumpled essay in your hand. "Can you explain to me why you failed me on this? I did exactly as you asked!"

He must know precisely what you're talking about because he simply turns back to the papers on his desk.

"Tha's your problem. You did exactly as I asked, with no thought behind it. Just wrote the bare minimum, if you can even call it writin'. It's copy-paste," Professor Riley sets the pen down and leans back in the chair.

"I need ya to use tha' head o' yours when in this class. Otherwise, you'll fail the rest o' your classes too."

Fucking hell.

Professor Riley shifts in his seat, seemingly done with the conversation, and finishes, "If tha's all."

Shit. Your pause is too long, and the director calls it. Fuck.

"I'm really sorry, Ghost, I didn't mean-" Your words of apology dissolve into thin air as his strong hand finds its place on your hip— giving it a gentle, but firm squeeze.

"S'all righ', love. Mistakes happen. Matter fact," his eyes drift from you to behind you to beckon someone with two fingers. "C'mere, you."

It's the set assistant, and he's brought the script with him. Ghost swiftly stops him from handing it to you, instead pushing it onto the assistant's chest. "Won't be needin' tha', thanks. Tell the director tha' we'll be ad-libin'. Now sod off."

The assistant follows his command in haste, scurrying off to follow Ghost's instructions.

"Hey," he murmurs. Your eyes meet his, feeling the intensity of it quickens your heartbeat. "Say whatever you like, just remember to follow the storyline, alright?"

Follow the storyline. In porn. The irony isn't lost on you, but you bite the side of your gummy cheek to keep from laughing. "Yes, sir."

He drops his hand from where he held you slowly, seemingly almost reluctant to let go. "Ready?" Ghost's thin lips curl into a smirk when you nod at his question. "Good girl."

Your fingers tightly grip the flimsy material of your uniform skirt at his praise, and warmth pools in your lower belly.

His good girl.

A high-pitched voice cuts through your thoughts, signaling the restart of the shooting. You exhale a long breath, unclenching your hands in the process.

Action.

"If tha' all." Ghost reaches for his pen when you frantically grab onto his Oxford sleeve.

"Wait, Professor, please! I can't," you stammer, "I cannot fail this class! My parents would kill me if I studied abroad only to flunk. The tuition—"

His tone is authoritative as he abruptly cuts off your lengthy excuse. "Enough. Nothing can change the mark I've given you."

Your ears pricked up at his wording, and the corners of your lips pulled up into a roguish smile. "No?" Ghost stills before turning to face you, countenance blank. "Nothing at all, Professor?" With a coy tilt of your head, your wide, doe-like eyes meet his as your fingertips trace an alluring path from his forearm down to his knuckles.

"I really can't convince you in any way to change that grade for me?" You lean on the edge of his wooden desk— skirt so short it doesn't even graze the surface of it— and lightly curl your hand around his pointer finger. "It can be our little secret, Professor Riley," you purr.

Ghost lifts a single brow, and settles back into his seat, arms crossed over his barrel chest as his eyes travel from your feet to your exposed cleavage, fixating on the soft skin peeking out from your uniform top.

"Please?" his hushed voice reverberates inside your skull. "I promise to be a good girl."

That catches his attention, eyes flashing to yours, the fire behind them hot— you hope it burns you.

"'Sat, right? Tha' changes things now, doesn't it?" Ghost rolls his chair back, away from his desk, and spreads his thick legs apart in invitation, arms resting on the rests— the dictionary definition of casual. "Convince me then, pet."

"Yes, sir." Sauntering to stand in between his legs, you swallow thickly— the bulge in his groin was quite frankly, intimidating. You've had large, but this was in a league of its own.

"You gonna do it from up there? I know I'm bigger than average but not tha' big." A huff escapes from your lips. A whole comedian.

Knees pressed into the cold, tile floor, you expertly undo the button of his trousers and with his help, pulled them down along with his pants— just enough for his cock to spring free.

Bloody fucking hell.

His cock is monstrous. It rested against his belly, heavy and thick. The pink tip slightly peeking from under his foreskin. There was a groomed thatch of coarse hair at the base, and his balls were also heavy— one hanging lower than the other.

Ghost leans forward and cradles the underside of your jaw with one large hand, fingers gently caressing the delicate skin of your cheek, while the other pumps his rigid cock in anticipation. "Not scared, are ya?" His grin was wicked. "I promise it don't bite."

Grabbing his wrist, you maneuver his hand so that his thumb now rests on your soft lips. "Might not, but I do, Professor." And catch the tip of his finger between your blunt teeth, the subtle sting of it making him hiss.

"Perfect, pretty girl," he says, almost inaudible. His words of praise are for you alone— not for the scene, nor the camera. You peer up at him through your lashes, mewling softly at the expression on his face.

His brow was set, hooded eyes sultry, a rosy hue across his cheeks and nose, and lips parted as he panted quietly.

Delicious.

Ghost then pushes his thumb further into your slick mouth and hooks it behind your bottom teeth, delicately pulling you closer to him as he tips his head down— taking his thumb out with a pop. His warm breath fans across your face as he moves closer until his lips connect with yours. He slid his tongue into your mouth, tasting of frosty mint and his own unique taste.

Your hands come up, fingers digging into the meat of his thighs when he grasps your wrist and moves it to the focal point of his desire— his breath hitching when you give his cock a firm squeeze. Ghost bites your bottom lip before breaking away, a guttural noise escaping him when you begin to stroke him. "Tighten your hand around—" he breaks off, moaning against your kiss-swollen lips when you comply.

He threads his fingers through your hair that sits at the base of your skull, curling them into a fist and tugging back— craning your neck, hair pulled taut.

"So obedient. Jus' f'me, love?" you hum cheekily, a mischievous grin spreading across your face.

"Would you hold it against me if I said no?" he chuckles under his breath, the grip on your hair tightening marginally.

"I'd say tha' you're lyin'." He sucks in a breath when you press down lightly onto his slit with your thumb. "Cheeky."

He loosens the hold he has on you, feeling your scalp prickle with tender relief, and relaxes back into the chair. "All yours, sweetheart."

That light wasn't getting any greener, so with a grunt, you shifted your weight, ignoring your aching knees, and wrapped your lips around his cock.

Barely.

The salty bite of his arousal and musk spread on your tongue as you took him in deep, stilling once he hit the back of your throat.

"Fuck, look at me."

Slightly tipping your head back, you do as he says, your throat closing around him as he slips in even further.

"Fuckfuckfuck," a hiss, "such a hot little mouth, just swallowin' me righ' up." Your lungs burn with the lack of oxygen, forcing you to pull back to gasp for air. Ghost squeezes himself at the base and taps your cheek with his saliva-coated length.

"A dirty slag like you, jus' takin' me like a professional. Tha' what you are? A professional cock sucker, love?" he taunts. Your pussy clenches when he calls you a slag, pressing your thighs together in the hope of some friction; Something to alleviate the throbbing ache in between your legs.

Ghost with eyes as keen as ever, notices. Damn.

"Oh? Little harlot likes to get degraded, does she? Reminded of her place? How I'd love to teach you exactly where you belong, but tha' wouldn't be you convincin' me to change your bad grade, now would it?"

His cock taps on your swollen lips. "Another time, hm? Now open. Make me see reason."

Ghost's wish is your command. With enthusiasm, you take him in your mouth, slowly bobbing your head, place a hand right under your lips, and twist with every push and pull.

It's sloppy, spit covering your hand, dripping down to his balls. Your jaw aches, a burning pressure a little under your ear, but what gives you the strength to continue is the loud moans coming from Ghost. He holds nothing back, his hand engulfing the crown of your head while he gently pushes you down. A performer down to his very bones.

You were about to pause the recording, the pain in your mandible and knees almost becoming too much when he suddenly pulled you off of him.

"Wha—?" Ghost seizes you by the upper arms, forcibly bringing you to your feet, disregarding your pained whimper, and places you on the sturdy desk.

He's curling his fingers into the waistband of your frilly knickers, slipping them down your legs and pocketing them. There's a quiet popping sound when he bends his knees, going eye level with your bare cunt.

In a hushed tone, you say, "This isn't part of the scene." Ghost drags his eyes from your glistening slit to your face, gaze suffocating, smothering the very air in your lungs.

"Just a taste, love." He curls one hand under your thigh, lifting it to perch it on the edge of the desk, the other he throws over his strong shoulder. The only sound in the room is your soft moans as he expertly slides his warm tongue through your slick folds, sending waves of pleasure through your body.

By god does he eat pussy like it's his job. Peering down at him, you can't stop the sounds that spill from your mouth when his tongue visibly splits your pussy lips open, flicking at your clit, lapping up your arousal like it is honey. You take hold of his short hair, tugging at the strands as each swirl of his talented tongue pushes you closer to your peak.

His eyes cut to yours when he presses a thick finger into you, drinking in your desperate expression as you keen, begging for more, blabbering about it being so good, yet not enough, please god more.

Ghost curls his finger, only taking a second to find your sweet spot, and pushes— bursts of light flashing in your peripheral vision. You begin to rock your hips unconsciously, chasing your ecstasy, and Ghost simply flattens his tongue, letting you grind against it.

You teeter on the edge of bliss, a tightening in your stomach, right under where his finger is. Shaky exhales leave you, the leg that's on the desk visibly trembling from the tension that threatens to snap you in half.

He presses a kiss to your sodden pussy, and croons, "Gonna come f'me?" You jerkily nod.

"Yes fuck yes, I'm gonna come for you, just for you, Professor Riley pleaseee—" your blathering turns into a high-pitched squeal as he lightly sucks on your pearl, hips lifting off the desk as a blinding orgasm crashes into you, pleasure bursting through your very core, cunt pulsating with every wave of ecstasy around Ghost's finger.

He wastes no time in rising to his feet and slotting his mouth over yours, the taste of your slick strong, potent on his tongue. Ghost breaks away, his breath smelling of your desire. "Exquisite, like ambrosia. Addicting."

Ghost's hand cups your sensitive quim and whispers, "Think you can take me? Tha' orgasm took a lot outta ya."

Silly question. "I'm a big girl, Ghost. I can take it."

He licks the front of his teeth and glances down to where his hand rests. "Course you can, love. Turn around f'me."

Your movements are sluggish as you turn over onto your stomach, rising to the tip of your toes as you present yourself to him.

Ghost grabs the sides of your waist, and flips your skirt up, tucking the edge into the waistband of it. His hands palm your cheeks, thumbs digging into the meat of your ass to spread you open, completely exposed to him.

"Fuck me if tha' isn't the prettiest sight I've ever had the pleasure of seein'." He doesn't acknowledge your scoff as he spreads your hands out, placing them flat on the table— enveloping your hand with his own, intertwining his fingers with yours.

His leans over your semi-prone body, cock gently prodding at your entrance, gliding easily through your folds. "Ready?"

Arching your back, his tip slips inside, just barely. That's your answer.

You can hear the smarmy grin that spreads on his face, and wanted to snark back but you're rendered mute when he pushes in. Your eyes cross at the stretch of his cock, a feeling so sublime you know that no one will ever be able to duplicate. Your fingers tighten around his as you mewl when he bottoms out, hips flush against your arse.

Ghost sucks in a breath through his teeth when you shift your weight, and whatever you did has him sliding in deeper— turning his hiss into a guttural groan. "Fuck, you have no fuckin' idea how good you feel."

Probably not, but you have every idea how good he feels.

"You okay, love? Took me so well like you were made jus' f'me. So warm and soft, tight like a vice around my cock. Pretty pussy split wide open, stuffed full of me." He speaks unfettered filth to you, dripping over your ears like molasses, thick and syrupy. Your head feels heavy on your shoulders— dizzy, drunk on his scent, his cock that's got you tearing at the seams.

Then he begins to move, pulling out until an inch remains inside, and pushing in until he's nudging the plug of your womb, feeling a deep pinch under your navel.

This is what it's like to get fucked by Ghost. The one everyone covets after, hoping he drags down the very heavens with his bare hands and lays it at their feet. And here he is, fucking you. A newbie, a fresh face no one knows yet, a name that'll probably never grace the front page.

You doubt his motives are altruistic, but goddamn does it not matter; Not with the way he's carving a space inside of you that only he will ever fit in, or the way he's curling his free hand around your neck, thumb pressed right over your racing pulse.

He lowers himself until his strong chest is to your back, his teeth nipping the tip of your ear. "The moment I saw you gettin' fucked by Johnny, I knew I had t'have ya." Your walls clamp down on him involuntarily, wrenching a pained noise from him. "Fuckin' hell, I knew this pussy would be magical."

Ghost's lips skim over the shell of your ear before pressing a chaste kiss on it. "Lemme hear how good I make ya feel, pet. Don't hold back on me now." He grinds into your arse, going in so deep that it feels like he's trying to push past the entrance of your womb. "S'alrigh'. I'll jus' have t'pull 'em outta ya."

He releases you, placing both hands flat on the desk, on either side of your shoulders. "Take em for myself, make 'em mine." Straightening all the way, he digs his fingers into the soft flesh of your waist.

"What a view. Perfection." He rolls his hips, rhythm languid, loud squelching noises coming from where he fills you. "Drippin' cream all over my cock, pet. Can't tell me this isn't 'cause of me."

How the fuck can he still talk? How is he coherent? Why isn't his brain turned into mush like yours is?

"Fuckin' ya speechless, am I? Oh, sweetheart, but I'm barely gettin' started." Ghost slowly pulls out, and curls his hand around your shoulder, nudging you to turn over. "On your back, now."

You lazily flip over, hair sticking to your sweat-slick skin, and he hooks his arms underneath your legs and drags you to the edge until your arse hangs from it. "I wanna see that pretty face when you come." He wastes no time in sheathing himself back inside your swollen channel, walls fluttering at the invasion.

Ghost hooks one leg over his shoulder to lean forward, pinning you to the desk with his upper body, and maneuvers your other to wrap around his wide waist. "That cock drunk look on your face makes my balls tighten, what a fuckin' expression you've got, christ," he growls. "Knowin' I put it there makes it all the better."

He gives you a chaste kiss on the lips and gives you a smile that is all teeth. "Now let's make you sing."

Grunting, he straightens. plants his feet firmly, stance wide, and begins to fuck you. The videos of the famed Ghost you saw are nothing, nothing, in comparison to real life. His full weight is behind every spine-jarring thrust, it makes your teeth clack, it rattles your brain inside your skull. He does it so perfectly because at no point do you feel any discomfort, not even a twinge. It's all a pleasure that blazes, an all-encompassing heat that threatens to swallow you whole, burn you from the inside out.

His cock punches the breath out of your lungs, wails clawing out of your throat, and it's so good, so fucking good— god, maybe he is god, you don't know, everything is so blurry, hazy—

All senses focus on the sudden touch between your legs, an expert thumb drawing tight circles on your slippery clit and there's no way you're going to survive this—

"There she is, the girl I saw in the video. Tha's an expression I see in myfuckin' sleep. Give me what's mine, pet. Let me feel you, cream all over my cock."

He's relentless in his pursuit of your climax, a wave of pleasure so intense, it just might drag you out to sea, drowning you.

Ghost, the fucking god of sex, stops his ministrations to spit on your pussy. Spit. From his full height, a glob of warm saliva drops to your mons, and he smears it with his fingers over your pussy lips before rubbing your clit. His thrusts slow in pace, turning into a firm snap of his hips, making sure you feel every ridge of his cock, and in less than a minute, your spine arches off the desk.

Your mouth opens into a silent scream, lids snapping shut as you break underneath him, warmth gushing from where he's continuously sinking into you, a steady, slow rhythm that never ends.

"Came all over me, didn't ya? Bet you didn't know you could even do tha'."

You didn't.

"Jus' for tha', I'm gonna give you somethin' in return, yeah? A little reward for bein' so good," he praises.

Your tongue is heavy in your mouth, swollen and thick, and unconsciousness creeps at the very edges of your mind.

All you can do is lie there and take it, his sloppy thrusts, his harsh panting until he moans, "'m close, so fuckin' close," and with whatever remnants of strength you have left, you use to squeeze him tightly— unwilling to let go because his come is yours now, you've earned it.

"Come in me, Ghost," you whimper.

That does it. He slams his hands on either side of your head and borderline roars out his release, cock twitching inside of your used cunt, filling you with his spend.

Cut.

Ghost's breathing is labored, a harsh pant that fans over your overheated skin, damp with sweat.

His brows are furrowed, his eyes squeezed shut, gulping in air and shivering in the aftershock of his climax.

To be fucked by Ghost is to see the Garden of Eden behind your eyelids.

Now you understand. You understand why he has no equal. He is unparalleled.

Jesus Christ, you're fucked. So, so fucked.

He slowly opens his eyes and peers down at you with a wolfish grin.

"Perfection."

A week later, your video with Ghost is the most viewed on the entire website. Not one other video even scratches the bottom of where your video sits.

Ghost truly is the king.

Curiously enough, your friend is the one who lets you know that Mr. life-altering cock himself never kisses during work. Not once in any video of his has he ever kissed, apart from a short pressing of lips to skin.

Your heart traitorously flutters at the thought of it meaning something more. Catching feelings when you get fucked for a living is not the move. But there's no stopping it from misbehaving, especially when you receive another script, to make another video with Ghost.

Another. one.

Fuck. Fuck!!

You cannot wait.

@mishaglass

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