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indulge-that-sin · 3 years

Text

A Social Experience

Characters: GN!MC, Leviathan, Asmodeus, Mammon

Wordcount: 1700

Tags: Fluff, Domestic, Bonding Activities, Humor

(No spoilers for latter lessons, but takes place fairly late in the game.)

***

"--a gross, shut-in otaku like me!" Levi finished, on the all too familiar note.

Usually by this point you would already be launching into reassurances that he certainly wasn't gross, and shouldn't talk about himself like that, but this time there was nothing but a silence that bounced off the walls, damning and louder than any words.

You reached into your bag of chips, removed a single potato chip, and ate it as you tilted your head in thought. Levi took your silence like a slap in the face, and recoiled, his face already wavering. The sound of your chewing was distressingly loud in contrast.

You finished chewing and swallowed. "I mean, is that even true anymore?" you asked after a nerve-wracking length of time.

Levi's expression twisted more into confusion than hurt. "Huh?!"

"Don't you kind of lose your hikikomori credentials if you become popular and people start coming to spend time with you all the time?"

"That's not-- I'm not-- You don't count!" Levi sputtered.

"Oh, I don't count, huh," you repeated, putting a hand to your chest and dramatically feigning heartbreak.

Levi looked abashed now. "Th-that's not what I meant," he rushed to add.

"I know what you meant," you said. "Give it an hour."

Now Levi tilted fully into confusion.

"Give what an hour?"

"My point to be made," you said, and placed your D.D.D. onto the lip of the bathtub, out of your own reach. It was also clearly visible to Levi as you both sat on beanbags in front of his TV, next to the bath tub. "An hour," you repeated in a portentous video game narrator voice.

Levi scowled and picked up his controller again, turning back to his game. But his reactions were off, now. His character moved jerkily around the screen, doubling back and taking wrong turns on the 8-bit map as Levi's mood roiled with the strangeness of the conversation.

You continued eating your chips slowly, savoring the taste of the limited edition novelty flavor that Levi had generously acquired for you. He'd tried to pass it as a coincidence, but he didn't really know anyone else who unironically enjoyed the taste of cream and devilradish chips.

Not even half an hour passed before there was a knock on the door. Levi asked for the password on reflex. Surprisingly, from the other side of the door came a sigh, and then Asmo's melodious voice reciting the string of nerd trivia that Levi had set as a password for him ever since they became unlikely allies for the Bloody Moon competition.

"Come in, I guess," Levi replied, giving you a long look. Your D.D.D. was still on the edge of the bathtub, untouched as you sat there elbow-deep in greasy chips. You couldn't have called anyone over. And yet, was this what you expected to happen?

"Give it forty more minutes now," you said low.

Asmo fluttered into the room, like a passing breeze bringing in the smell of perfume.

"Oh, there you are, darling, I was wondering where you were," he said, face lit up as he saw you.

He sat uninvited next to you in the beanbag, and you scooted over to make space for him. Levi would have complained, except moving to make room for Asmo meant you shuffled closer to Levi instead, so he ended up biting his tongue.

"What do you want?" Levi grit out.

"Must I want something?" Asmo asked, "Is it not enough that I give my adorable brother the opportunity to entertain me?"

"He's bored," you translated.

"I'm soooo bored," Asmo whined, his shoulders rolling in a full-body sigh. But he perked up as he leaned forward to look at both you and Levi. "But what about all this? Mind if I join the fun~?"

"Let's find a game Asmo can play," you suggested.

"If you'd like," Asmo acquiesced with a shrug, indicating he'd had some other kind of fun in mind.

Levi gave you another sidelong glance, full of suspicion, but his head was out of the game he was playing anyway, so he exited and pulled up his game library instead. Deciding which game to choose was the trickier part, because Asmo had terrible reflexes, and an attention span worse than Mammon's when it came to playing anything. This ruled out anything requiring twitch reflexes or understanding complicated rules.

Asmo, meanwhile, scrunched his nose at your chips.

"All that grease and salt is going to be awful for your complexion, darling," he said, clearly disapproving.

"I'm not rubbing it on my face," you said, and defiantly sucked crumbs off your thumb. Levi nearly choked at the sound, which was borderline obscene. The little sound Asmo made in response did nothing to contradict this impression. Levi managed to swallow back the wave of envy before it came undammed by concentrating on the list of games on the screen. He still had to make a selection.

A farming sim seemed like a safe enough choice; something bright and frivolous. Just like Asmo.

Levi passed the controller as the title screen came up, and Asmo, to his credit, managed to choose the 'New Game' option without messing anything up. Yet. When the screen went dark as the game loaded, Asmo couldn't resist looking at his reflection and primping his hair a bit. Levi did resist snorting and rolling his eyes, but it was a close thing.

The character creation screen popped up with its myriad of options, and Asmo gasped in delight.

"Oh! This is a good start! Much better than getting shoved into some ugly gray metal suit at the beginning," Asmo remarked cheerfully. He cycled through the hair and clothing options with the speed and deftness of a veteran player.

"Hey, beginner armor in RPGs can be colorful too," Levi protested.

"But not fashionable, apparently," Asmo sniffed.

Asmo had only just barely settled on a hairstyle and color combination he thought was adequately cute, and was scrunching his nose at the shirt options, when another knock came at the door.

"Come in," you called out, before Levi could demand a password.

Mammon's head popped through the door, and he pulled a face when he saw you there, just like he always did when you were in somebody else's company and not his.

"Eh? What're you doing here?" Mammon asked, closing the door behind him and sidling up to the three of you.

He craned his neck and squinted at the screen, like he was verifying that whatever you were doing, it passed his requirements for propriety. Between knowing the kinds of games Levi had in his collection, and seeing Asmo there, maybe he was not completely unjustified in some suspicion, but it still made you want to roll your eyes.

"We're watching Asmo create his character," you explained.

Mammon guffawed. "Betcha been watching him do that for a while!"

"Fifteen minutes, more or less," you said. "But to be fair, Levi takes way longer to create characters."

"It's an important step!" Levi sputtered.

"Especially with the quality of the options," Asmo added. "Look at this. A purple T-shirt with a pink butt on it?"

"That's a peach!" Levi protested, his face turning red.

"I know what a butt looks like, Levi," Asmo replied tartly.

"Wait, wait, Asmo, that black one with the gold design ain't half bad! Go back an' pick that one."

"That gaudy thing! Absolutely not!"

"Mammon, why are you even here?" Levi asked, now completely exasperated with his brothers.

"I was just seein' if we were still on for Devil Kart against those Purgatory Hall guys. We need ta win back our honor, ya know."

"Do we?" Levi asked suspiciously, "or are you running a betting pool again?"

Mammon made a good show of appearing indignant at the very suggestion, but he'd hit you up earlier today about whether you'd be willing to take a dive in the second half of Candy Mountain in exchange for a lump grimm sum, so you knew too much about the subject to defend Mammon without exposing him.

"Can't I be showin' an interest without ya gettin' all suspicious a' me? What makes me so weird, huh? Asmo here doesn't even play games, and I don't see ya hasslin' him!"

"I do too play games," Asmo protested.

"Really? 'Cause only thing I ever saw you play was that stupid matching thing with the gems, and I ain't seen much of even that lately."

You knew which game Mammon meant, because it was the only game app you'd ever seen on Asmo's phone. You'd watch him play in moments of boredom, swiping his screen with a completely blank look of concentration as he matched the colors of the gems in rows and columns, and they burst into sparkles.

"Ugh, of course you haven't seen me play, I finished it. I have to wait until they add new levels."

"Didn't that game have like ten thousand levels already?" you asked. "You mean you passed all of them?"

"Eleven thousand and sixty five," Asmo corrected primly. "And yes, I did them all. I have to wait until they add more now. I asked."

The room fell into shocked silence at this. Even Levi looked mildly dyspeptic at the thought of completing eleven thousand levels of a match-3 game. You'd played it yourself for a while, and past the two hundredth level, the number of complicated mechanics the game introduced had completely broken you.

"Anyway," Mammon said after a few more beats of silence. He gestured to the screen, where Asmo was flicking between two shirt options. "This thing got co-op or somethin'?"

You finished your chips, and folded away the empty bag. When you picked up your D.D.D., fifty five minutes had passed.

"Still five minutes left," you muttered to Levi while Asmo and Mammon bickered over the choice of pants. "Wanna play the long odds and see if the twins show up too?"

"Okay, okay, you've made your point," Levi grumbled. "I let way too many people waltz in here. I'll have to tighten security."

But Levi's heart wasn't really in it, and when he turned to watch Mammon try to swipe Asmo's controller while the latter loudly protested, there was almost a smile threatening to spread over Levi's face.

#obey me shall we date #obey me fanfic #obey me leviathan #obey me levi #obey me asmodeus #obey me mammon

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pepsicup · 3 years

Text

Chaotic Commentary: We Have Always Lived In The Castle

Welcome to my thought process when I watch movies!

The arrival of a cousin with ulterior motives threatens the claustrophobic and isolated world of two sisters and their uncle. (Oooof, bitch. I already know Sebastian is gonna look damn fine in this movie.)

Watched: April 22nd, 2021

Opening

Alrighty, right off the bat, the opening music giving me very much throwing it back at summer solstice 1531. Might fuck around and show some ankle, who knows

Um miss girl, first off all, i know damn well you aren't wearing a stark white shirt and capris shorts after labour day. And secondly, you gotta work on your self care babygirl, you are looking rough

Okay, so noted; there is clearly something off about this girl because i know when i personally rummage through family keepsakes, i don't have a hannibal look on my face

I don't know if you guys know this but your house...it needs a little 5 minute crafts, diy, extreme makeover: home edition treatment

Ohhhh baddie alert, baddie alert, baddie alert. That chick’s silhouette already got me acting up. Yes sink low to the ground girl, drop it down for me

Short monologue before being cut in half by that creepy ass stare, gotcha. I literally needed more nightmare fuel, thanks bestie

‘A change is coming, and nobody knows it’ how much more change can you get, your house is literally in shambles girl one battle at a time

First Act

Ah, here we are, title screen. Very cottagecore.

Timeskip: What did happen last tuesday, I must know...the suspense is suffocating

I’m not one to judge, but that record doesn’t sound like a life-coaching audio.

Oh heyyy there's a kitty!

Yes hun, that is a working tap, your telekinesis is redundant. Eleven from stranger things eat your heart out.

Alexandra! Babyyy Daddario! Step on my face or domesticate me into a housewife, i beg of you. The uncle tho, he isn't it.

Chill out Mary, you’re just running errands. Why is she walking in a slow-mo naruto run like that. She is giving me a schizophrenic Napoleon Dynamite vibes.

Wait...is her name Meerkat?

Oh, its Merricat...nah i like mine better lmaooo.

Her inner monologue is making cackle because it sounds like a Gabbie Hanna original piece 💀

Okay what i got from the coffee shop scene was Stella is also a grade A baddie, I want to commit double homicide on those two douches, and i want to invite miss meerkat to my lunch table because awwww. She's just different leave her alone.

Wow, the village folk really know how to talk shit huh? Well, I can eat rats like all of them for every meal of the day, plus snackie snacks. Go fuck yourselves, thoroughly.

God that family needs to smoke some weed or something. Why do I feel like the sisters are about to kiss...and the uncle sounds like he means risky business. Very bad vibes here, back to you in the studio.

Ooooh, miss daddy really knows how to roll her tongue huh? Again, very much cottagecore ‘history says they were just really good friends’ aesthetic. And so many bops in this movie, kinda feel the need to throw it back or do the renegade.

Why do I feel like this next scene is just a posh episode of gossip gorl. Sipping tea and spewing nonsense. Rum cake? No thanks, babygirl. Oh but here comes uncle wanky, whisking away Lucille with his talk of arsenic.

Yes. Speak 8 course meal to me daddy...fuck, now I’m hungry. Okay the uncle isn’t so bad I guess, very poetic and philosophical. Yes, very nice. Sucks that he was roofied and turned to a professor X cosplay for solace, though.

Timeskip: Last Thursday huh? We are in for a rollercoaster folks.

*she glares in rhubarb pie and possibly shelved jam*

OH MY GOD ITS HAPPENING, I SAW THE SIDE/BACK OF HIS HEAD AND MY HEART STOPPED. He has a very nice shaped head, yes, pleasing to the eye.

Hi sirrrr, I have a pocket full of horses, trojan and some of them used. Pls let me ride you in the little red corvette. Pick me, Charles, choose me, love me.

Real talk, I feel so bad for Mary Katherine (I literally almost typed Gallagher at the end lmaooo thanks molly shannon) she is obviously struggling with something and Constance looks like she is very traumatized.

But I still think there’s something not right about Mary. Miss girl no one walks like that (thats a lie, it would probably be me after a night with Bucky barnes) and I love me a little witchy goodness. But not enough to start locking up my bedroom like it’s Area 51 and having secret rituals at my super exclusive, diy bohemian temple in the middle of the woods.

OH MY FUCKING GOD PLEASE SPARE ME FROM THE FEELING I JUST FELT IN THIS ROOM ON THIS VERY DAY IN APRIL, MAMA FUCKING MIA

when he stood up—bitch I’m gone, I’m his whore now. Sorry, I am owned by this man. Bye I was literally launched off earth for a moment there, kinda chillin’ in dead space, standby.

Okay I took a break for a moment. I’m cool, I’m collected, play button is a go. NOPE, GIRL MY MOUTH IS FOREVER OPEN, AND I DUNNO IF I WAS MY BODY TELLING ME TO KNEEL IN FRONT OF HIM OR WHAT—SOMEONE HOLD ME

Current state: I am hugging my knees and wasting away under my blankets. I paused and played and paused and played because I cant go more than 2 seconds of looking at him.

Okay, I’m all good.

All I keep saying is no...no ...NO, louder and louder every time he opens his mouth, ‘got a hug for your cousin?’ um not a cousin but yes, right bitch for that job present for attendance. Here ✋🏻

Girl I’d run like the wind, too, this kitty isn’t gonna dry itself, nyuuuooom, double time! Fall in, Rogers. Gotta keep up. 🏃🏻‍♀️

Timeskip: Last Friday night, yeah we dance on table tops and we took too many shots, I think I gave Charles a blo-oh-job, whoops—

Ah, see I knew there was something fruity about Charles, hopefully he kisses a boy in this. Would love to see that.

Uh oh, the way he just pops that fruit into his mouth...I fine, I’m totally fine. Mentally I am... the way he chews if making my oral fixation quake

‘now that’s a handsome cat’ sir if you don’t—he wonders why he is such a fucking meme, this is why Sebastian.

‘Jonassss’ which one of the brothers, tho?

Ah yes, the best of friends; Meerkat, Frankie Jonas and a middle-aged Carter Baizen. Ugh mega sad that this is the closest I will get to see Charles pet a puthycat though.

Why don’t you slap my ass like a flapjack pancake, Charles. You won’t.

OMG so quirky 🤪when you steal his shirts 🥺🤪🥰

Who the is venice, Charles? Who, who, what are you, a fucking owl? WHO’S VENICE AND WHY IS SHE YOUR FAVOURITE?! sorry i had to get that out of my system, iconic cinema shall not be overlooked.

all this commentary is fresh from my chicken breast brain by the way

All i heard out of that little inspirational, facebook-esque speech at the dinner table was was shoes. Also peep Frédéric Chopin banging in the background noise, a little Nocturne Op. 9 No. 2 to keep party goin’

Charles...that is your cousin.

It isn't a PHASE, Charles. Let him be emo over his dead brother and great tragedy of losing his legs then gaining the likeness of sir patrick stewart. Therefore, he will not forget.

Oh...i’ll sit down i guess.

I COULD LITERALLY—...I could literally watch him eat for the rest of my life pls sir have murthy

Grocery boy...hmmm reminds me of a yee ole jingle i heard in my youth. What can i say, I’m a connoisseur of the classics my friends.

Sidenote: I’m getting vietnam flashbacks to singing ‘carol of the bells’ at the elementary christmas concert. I am overstimulated. And not in a good way.

Charles...do not add that newspaper clipping of your cousin to your personal spank bank, pls.

Timeskip: Last weekend, alright. What did we do; brewski’s with the boys? Hockey night in canada? one legged race? I’m dying to know...

Very nice form charles, you’ve almost dug right through the wood. A real mans-man here if we are being honest. I’ve never in whole life seen a construction crew do better than Charles Blackwood.

I could watch him do this all day.

Pearl necklace huh? Me too, girl.

‘I’m beginning to think, that my spells no longer work’ 8-year-old me, sitting in a bath full of salt and a charm bracelet of rock candy dissolving in the water after my fifth attempt to transform into a mermaid

Aw, but i would sit out there and eat a sandwich with Meerkat. Hell yeah, we can go halfsies on a BLT no problem 😢

oh...

oh no...Charles.

Here is my first sexual grievance, the way he carried that sack over his shoulder, mmm yes i have been fed most wonderful nutrients. BUT NEXT?! THE TWO FINGERS LINE AND THE FUCKING MOTION HE DID AND SAYING SHE WASN’T GOING DEEP ENOUGH PLS

what is with this man and gold...alright debutante Lance Tucker simmer down.

And the ‘hot’ thing, ‘needing a bath’? miss daddy is working it in for her cousin real hard, sweet home alabama all summer long

HEY LET'S ALL GO SWIMMING IN MY POOOL, AND BY POOL I MEAN BATHTUB, AND BY SWIMMING I MEAN SEXXXX--

Oh, so there’s this ominous whistling, nice, a blade kink, cool, and Charles serving body audi audi audi audi all the damn day. Hi sirrrrr. God i just love his chest, man. Its just so buff. He looks this good for what? And in front of his cousin...ew? um child, anyways so

the way my stomach clenched in the most uncomfortable way just shows that my body doesn't care about my comfort when it comes to thirsting and simping. He didnt have to look at her like that or fucking back her out

oh to be a chair...

esteemed audience member sac is a little tired of hearing cousin charles and cousin mary call each other cousin charles and cousin mary

Charles, eat your fruit and shut the fuck up. But also, hi sirrr.

I see you, Constance, I see you...tig ol’ bitties 👀

Timeskip: It’s Monday without the benefit of a sebastian stan, full frontal nude scene...smh

baby, just give up on the step and go fondle some plants please, i’m begging, stop at once. or, i spoke too soon?

If i have to hear sebastian say constance one more time i am going suck down all the arsenic i can find...he just says it so weird lmaoooo i hate it

Climax (make it happen, Charles 🙄)

Aw i love fruity, coffee shop, car men AU’s

that shot of him looking over his shoulder single handedly sent to into a spiral...what the fuck are you doing to me, Charles.

uh oh...one of the car men is madddd

OH OKAY WELL, WELL, FUCK ME, WELL

why dont you just come up behind her and literally growl in her ear what the fuck, Charles. I swear sebastian plays his characters just to make women go feral sometimes.

Sir! Sir! This IS A WENDY’S, SIR, THAT’S YOUR COUSIN--

NOT THE MILK CARTON

PLEASE I’M LITERALLY KILLING MYSELF LAUGHING, WHY IS HE DRINKING IT LIKE THATTTTT

that little ‘aahh’ at the end when he drank it all got me, oh my fucking jesus. Hold on i need a minute, my stomach hurts from laughing my guts out.

Oooof but the eye-contact and the expressions are computing mega well to my chicken breast brain so fanfics will be written and sin will be committed so help me lord jesus on the cross almighty, amen (sorry i’m ex-catholic, its just my go-to)

pfffft that is so iconic, Mary is literally gathering sticks in the pitch black woods while Charles basically puts down his own wood for her sister to pick up on fjgrebgnuierijiojfd, i’m dying

why does he have to pull that poetic, sensitive stud act...just give us the goods charles, slap someone i’m begging you

This is like star wars all over again, they served head-on into on-coming incest traffic

*holds up finger guns* sir, ma’am i’m gonna need you to put your hands behind your heads and get down on your knees exactly 8.92 feet apart, this is a citizen’s arrest

but, i too would like to slow dance and make plans with him. Maybe we’ll go deep in the garden with two fingers on top of the rhubarb, maybe we will commit arson, who knows...

Meerkat continues to be my every mood, she really said:

Timeskip: Oh shit, its tuesday ya’ll, grab your party hats it’s about to get funky

Charles, if you don’t shut the fuck up and stop yelling out her name i will suffocate you between my thighs, electrocute your arm until it falls limp and shoot you with a grenade launcher, don’t make me do it

And yes, am i currently squirming in my seat because of the way he is smoking the pipe and hollowing his cheeks, what about it?

Second Act

Yes baby girl! you trash that room like ozzy osbourne and tommy lee did to that motel on tour in 1982. Go, Meerkat, go!

Charles holding those sticks in both hands is the equivalent to a 1-year-old holding those little cocktail weenies, it has the same energy and i’m dying over it

Try to tell me it's not the same picture:

You can't.

Oh shit, its getting heated now. Mary’s in trouble.

Everything isn’t making sense at the same time its all coming together, i am confused, frightened, a little bit horny, but mostly just entirly overwhelmed. Mom...can you come pick me up, i’m scared.

Oh my god! knew it! i knew i knew the actor that plays the uncle, he's the creepy thin man from charlie's angels! Wowza, what a world.

Oh no...i’m flashing back to vietnam again, the fucking bells dude i’m tellin’ ya. There is so much going on, i feel everything but nothing at the same time, help...

NOOOO HER ARTSY BOHEMIAN WITCH COTTAGECORE JARS! THE OUTRAGE! SHE CANT CAST SPELLS ANYMORE, HER POWERS ARE LOST!

a CURSH! NOT A CURSH!

What in the criss angel mindfreak is going on in here on this day? Who are they? And why is the broad such a bitch...oh is she the mom? My bad. Pops seems nice though. Yes, indeed.

Awh, hiii frankie jonasss. 🥰

Oh here we go with the eating again. If i have to see him flex his jaw one more time i’m gonna go feral. And on the usual, loud and obnoxious noises like the ones he is making when he takes a bite, or chew or swallow food/a drink like the who fucking milk debacle. But he just makes it okay? Maybe its just my eating disorder bias coming into play but how can someone be sexy while eating, or smug? Like huh???

‘Why dont you like me?’ WHY DO YOU CARE CHARLES, GODDAMN IT

Is he playing the sad boi card reallyyy? You want someone to say thank you? Put yourself to good use then. I can think of a lot of ways you can use that mouth better than going on these strange mini-monolgues like some tortured writer with a kink for control...and breatheee

And she’s back with the Eleven telekinesis, sweet kat that is a meer you have running water! Pfft she is actually dressed like eleven too, like what. Oh wait did i just uncover the plot?

Breaking News: Eleven holds a whole town hostage.

Jesus with Charles eating, Mary getting the sudden urge commit arson, miss daddy looking so fucking fine that i would literally throw myself in front of a bus just to get her attention, and uncle X with his weird theatre act: my blood pressure must be through the roof

Wow hes got a temper, but poor connie, shes a hot mess lmaooo

Oh god...oh god okay this is happening, oh wow, you didn't even get through dinner first charles jesus. Listen, i never give choking up on the first date but if i had the chance...i don't want any sausages other than his, i said what i said

and it keeps going?? ummmmmm i ummmmmm, i don’t have words. I was not warned of this savagery and i don’t know if i’m going to be able to write for anyone other than Charles for a whillllleeee, hun, apologies

Good to know he also uses his super soldier senses in another universe to sense a fire deep in his loins like the dramatic king he is

Now he is driving away and laying on the horn, nice

Oh ho ho, yessssss my coffee shop baddie, my black coffee queeeeeennn Stelllaaaaa. She said, Superhero mode real quick.

ummmm uncle x with the sick mustache...thats certain death? I mean if you are into that sort of thing, have at it.

Okay still driving, people are crying over the bed burning into dust, the heavily disable man is still smoking the good stuff...got it.

Big red truck go Honk, Honk.

Oh here come all the old, white men. Lovely.

‘oh-hooo yeah, thats a fireeeee’ as far as old white men go, that was pretty fucking funny to me

Yeah its gonna be in the arms of the angels real soon if you girls dont get the fuck out????

‘We’re firemen’ and i’m a homo, you want a gingerbread cookie or something? put out the damn fire PLEASE 💀

Ummm you’re too late, i was already wet before you got that camera spray shot, dawg, oh but that poor camera guy lol

AND WEI’RE GOONA LETIT BÜRN BÜRN BÜRN BÜRN, everybody its a singalong

hi, yeah...fuck off, jim

NO YOU DUMB ASSHOLES YOU KNOCKED OVER STELLA MY COFFEE MAMA

charles, you greedy bastard i dont know if should be ashamed when i say that i would still let him top me quite violently even still

Wow this rave got out of hand really fast, i blame marilyn manson

another day, another professor X 😪🔫💀☠️🔥🔪 𝚛𝚒𝚙, 𝕗𝕝𝕪 𝕙𝕚𝕘𝕙, 𝔶𝔬𝔲 𝔴𝔦𝔩𝔩 𝔟𝔢 𝔪𝔦𝔰𝔰𝔢𝔡

i swear to go if anything happens to either my coffee mama or baby miss daddy i will reign hellfire.

Oh so it takes a gunshot for Charles to do a 360 running man but not a jay gatsby meets canadian, hockey riot, emo rave. Gotcha. Hes a man with a code.

That’s what you get for hoeing after your cousin, constance. This is all your fault!

Ending

Timeskip: Ooohhh, yesturrrrdayyyy all my troubles seems so far away--

hunny that ain’t the moon, thats your super secret boho alter

Noooo the kitchennnn, that was my favourite room, other than the bathroom for obvious reasons, I hope the milk cartons are okay...👀

I guess meerkat isn't getting her num-nums, and charles is just going to have to live with charred fruit if he decides to come back

FRANKIE JONAS! THANK GOD!

Oohhere'ss the tea, it's about damn time! I called it! I knew ms variant mongoose was the one who did the fucky things! But i was shocked to find out that Mary was the favourite child over connie, hmm very much bad parenting

ooooh, knock knock, is it charlie-boy? oh, thats disappointing, its just that gossip chick and her husband, boooooo

Never again...never. We get it baby daddy.

oh? another knock? HAHAHAHAHA ITS THE FIRE GUY LMAOOO, what a king. He reminds me of stan lee!

What aare these people doing, they aren't goddess you give offerings to so that your crops will be plentiful, fuck off man. ANOTHER KNOCK..

and i opp-- herreeeees charlie!

‘friends’ sir you were halfway in her pantaloons, stop trying to act all innocent, the fuck. Wow hes really going for it huh?

did he just rip the chain off? Oh charles relax, its door, you don't need to moan like that.

Uhm, i love connie, so fuck you charles you twisted, manipulative burnt cornstalk of a human being. Oh yeah throw a hissy fit, that's real attractive, keep going, she’ll totally say yes.

Oh wait NO DON'T DO THAT, NO THAT'S A DOOR. And another door? NO GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY BABY DADDY ALEXANDRA, SHES MINE.

YOU LITTLE BITCH BOY, GET OFF! WTF!

*standing ovation* give it up for meer-to-the-kat, bravo kid! OH NO HES DEAd, YOU CAN STOP NOW

hahahaha guess whos deep in the garden now, Charles.

Ooh and we are back to start, nice. Children, she's a seasoned murder, might wanna chill on the whole bit you got going on.

Good, smile andddd scene!

Final Thoughts

Okie Dokie, I actually liked this movie a lot.

The acting was absolutely phenomenal, especially on Alexandra’s Daddario and Taissa Farmiga’s part, the characters were so well played. They focused in on so different points of view in this story that it captured the chaos that they were living individually and as a group under one roof. It constantly kept you on edge with the strange nuances in their dialogue, unnerving pauses and the progression of the condition of each character.

It was great. The aesthetic was there, the small but necessary breaks with dark humour really kept the story flowing and most of all, the fervour. It was everywhere, in their emotions or outbursts like Charles at the dinner table and on the stairs, or the way the townspeople kept adding fuel to their own personal hell. And I must admit, it's hard to make characters like Jim the firefighter relevant, but every person that this story involves has a distinct purpose and significance to the plot.

The only negative thing I could think of was I just wish there was more, I wanted it to be longer so that the small gaps in the movie could have been powerful. Okay, what else. Yes, Charles Blackwood, despite all of...that, will make a great character for me to touch on and has a lot of interesting qualities that I will be sure to tap into. Oh! And the only reason why no one else is getting the stan award was that my coffee mama was the only character who wasn't off the rails or just a terrible waste of human life! We stan!

Hoped you enjoyed this and my questionable thought process, I’m gonna go now...bye lol

Overall Score: 8.5/10

🏆 Honorary Stan Award: Stella Ella Ola, Clap Clap Clap. Periodt.

#we have always lived in the castle #castle daddy #sac reviews

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hellreads · 4 years

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Chapters: 3/3 Fandom: 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Park Jimin (BTS)/Reader Characters: Park Jimin (BTS) Additional Tags: this is straight FILTH, im sorry mom, degradation kink, Degradation, Praise Kink, Choking, Cum Eating, thigh riding, face fucking, Infidelity, Cheating, Prince Park Jimin, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Porn with Feelings, Angst, Angst and Porn, Smut, it actually gets pretty angsty for awhile there, but i love me some sad smut ;(

Summary:

you, a maid for the royal family, have sex with the irresistible prince park jimin on his throne

“No amount of riches could keep me away from you. I deserve to choose how I live my life, and I choose to live it with you.”

soooo when op tagged “it actually gets pretty angsty for awhile there, but i love me some sad smut ;(” she wasn’t lying at all like this was so hot it’ll get you wet as soon as you start reading because the excitement of having the crown prince desire will have your libido shooting up for real (at least that’s what happened to me because of the black fur and prince jimin’s cockiness ugh)

[SPOILERS AHEAD]

the entirety of this fic will satiate your lust for Jimin everything will have you drooling and praying that all of this was real and your not just immersing to imagine and feel something, this is exactly the Park Jimin in my head, royalty or not I like him being cocky and so sure of himself like his cock is the best out there you know hjdfhgjksd anyways, despite all the good fucking op made sure that angst will be felt, chapter one ended badly because after all the things they did and the undeniable love that was lingering in the air Jimin was set to marry a princess and MC was nothing but a lowly maid that’s never fated to marry someone with high status, she wasn’t born with a silver spoon in her mouth and she will have to deal with it for the rest of her life.

just when you thought you had enough of Jimin and that the next chapter will feel angsty af well you’ll feel that BUT the smut here? all I can say is if I was MC and was given the same opportunity to pounce on Jimin one last time before I let him go and let him out of my system i’ll do everything to make sure he’ll never forget what we had and how he was made for me and that he won’t ever feel the same with somebody else. before you start chapter two I highly suggest you take a deep breath because these two will risk everything and I was like nope that’s impossible they’re crazy but i’m also rooting for them because who wouldn’t want one more night before moving on? (fun fact I can’t relate to the break-up sex here part of me wants to but the logical side of my brains tells me not to and that I shouldn’t add more regretful memories ~ when i’m done, i’m done) even if they had to fuck with Jisoo on the side, it made my heart beat fast knowing they’d be caught any minute, I’ve seen porn like this and always thought is the other person on high on diphenhydramine? why can’t they hear or feel anything? long story short this is probably one of my favorite shameless cheating scene in fanfiction, I was lowkey expecting MC to walk away when Jisoo and Jimin started talking but ya girl ain’t a quitter she’s there to get her breakup sex! BUT once again op said you got what you wished for time for me to dump some angst and make your heart hurt and fuck it hurt badly that wedding scene scarred me, what Jimin did will forever be in MC’s head, looking at her saying his vows was dangerous, he was sorry but can’t do anything about it and that’s the worst.

months later after leaving the palace, MC was trying her best to move on but just when she thought she’s finally making progress she learns that she’s pregnant, I mean who wouldn’t be after having so much sex with Jimin and letting him paint her walls with his seed, I felt sad reading this chapter because MC is carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders, she lost everyone and is now starting over with a baby on the way, I was happy she met Sumi and had someone support her during those trying times, the harsh reality of being poor and falling for a royalty hit harder during this chapter even if we insist that they should fight for their love it’s not that simple, MC was selfless and selfish at the same time, selfless for thinking of Jimin and his future, the future of their country and their kingdom, she was selfless for sacrificing her true love but was selfish for denying Jimin her love and the child that’s the fruit of their endless love-making, denying their child of their father, denying herself of happiness because she had this mindset that this was it for her.

then Hoseok came into her life, it was unexpected tbh and I was wishing for more interaction, part of me was happy she agreed to go out with him and part of me is still mourning because of her sadness if she didn’t agree to meet Hoseok she would never go out that day to see Jimin and I was so confused like why is he there? in front of her? why? why did he have to come and see her when life is finally offering her someone she could be with for a long time without hurting people and herself, but that was the defensive side of me worrying about MC but when Jimin started talking everything made sense and it softened my heart, seriously one of the best dialogues to get back the love of your life, I offer my heart to Jimin for following his heart and giving everything up because he knows who his heart belongs to, even if took him a while before doing something about it at least he tried (I have a concern tho, what if in some alternate universe MC never left and just endured seeing Jimin and Jisoo? will they continue to fool around, what if there’s no baby or plot to eliminate the royal family? okay brain stop sabotaging the good things that are happening Jimin and MC forevs!) and after confessing everything to her and letting her know that he’s staying with her she finally revealed that they’re having a baby and it was the sweetest moment tbh, letting down the expectations of society, status shouldn’t be a basis whether or not you deserve to be with the person you love, fast forward to their cute baby listening to her parents love story with another baby on the way this is probably the wildest smut to angst to smut to angst to fluff fic I ever read because they were insatiable at first and they realized they love each other and Jimin found her after she left and now they have a family and they gave me wholesome domestic vibes (but I know the secrets they keep) sigh... love conquers all indeed, if you need some smutty happy ending royalty fic this is it (p.s. there’s lots of angst too!) | 🍒🍒🍒🍒🍒

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celila-reblogs · 4 years

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Fic Tropes Game!

The lovely Pie tagged me for this game -- and since she followed the rules and only tagged one (1) person - me - I now feel obligated to actually do this thing ;D Thank you for tagging me @potteresque-ire :*

Rules: Copy/paste and bold your fic preferences because why not, gotta choose one (near impossible, but go with your first gut instinct), and tag someone because, again, why not.

slow burn or love at first sight

(oh, gimme hundreds of thousands of words of build-up, thank you very much!)

fake dating or secret dating

(I mean in both something is going on that the rest doesn’t know about, but i find secret relationships just so much more interesting <3)

enemies to lovers or best friends to lovers

oh no there’s only one bed or long-distance with correspondence

(I love getting to know the characters in-depth, and reading their letters or text messages or chats - and again all the pining - is very relatable ;D)

hurt/comfort or amnesia

fantasy au or modern au

(I don’t really know what to answer here ... I’m reading fic a lot in three fandoms: Harry Potter, Merlin, and Voltron (VLD) (a tiny bit of Yuri on Ice) -- all of them have magical/fantasy elements? while I absolutely adore well-writen modern Merlin AUs where prince meets student or they’re just two students at uni, or co-workers or in the military, I also love it when canon gets re-written. And my favourite “modern” Merlin/Arthur AUs are: 1) they’re both in special ops and magic exists; 2) they’re both students and Merlin has magic and keeps saving Arthur; so it’s a compromise ;D HP plays in the 90s up to now and could go into the future depending on how old the characters are that you’re writing about, but that’s all quite modern to me already -- maybe they mean technology-wise? While I do love a well-written texting fic (see above), I enjoy it much more when the author dives into magical theory and comes up with the most amazing ideas (and not everything is just solved with muggle technology ;)) and I don’t think I’ve ever read a non-magical HP fic? Unlike Merlin fics, where non-magical AUs are quite normal, but I do prefer the ones with magic <3)

mutual pining or domestic bliss

(Yes! Give me enough pine to shame Ikea!!) <-- that’s what Pie wrote and I just have to keep it ;D it’s so funny and so true! <3

smut or fluff

oof, what a question.. I probably have to go with smut. I love fluff, but you can only read so much fluff without a story getting boring (if there is no tension ... or climax of any kind haha). and smut - whether explicit or not - can give you a lot of build-up and tension, interesting situations and definitely diverse outcomes, from declarations of love (there’s your fluff) to spectacular fall-outs, especially when I think of our favourite boys and their inability to communicate ;D)

canon compliant (missing scenes) or fix-it fic

(that one is much easier to answer for me [and it’s the first one where I choose a different answer than Pie ;D]. In VLD I want to disregard all of the last season, but especially the epilogue - completely - season 8 just doesn’t exist. in HP, I love 8th year fics or anything where the boys don’t marry Ginny and Astoria respectively right after school - which again can be viewed as disregarding the epilogue. In Merlin, I either read magical modern AUs anyway, or the fics in canon-era that I do enjoy disregard episode 5-13 completely and definitely ignore the epilogue/last 5 minutes of the series. So all my fics can be regarded as fix-it fics, and especially in Merlin & VLD that is a very common tag).

alternate universe or future fic

(definitely the future fic -- though it all depends on your definition of “alternate universe”, i love cross-overs ;D there are some between my favourite fandoms, like Merlin going to Hogwarts during the lightening era, or the VLD characters also going to Hogwarts. It’s so much fun. but those are exceptions in the vast landscape of fics. if you define “AU” as not canon-compliant, I guess everything could be viewed as an AU as soon as I disregard epilogues? But if we just don’t count epilogues, I love reading stories where the characters are a bit older, have found their place in life, or have tried things and failed and are now figuring things out or are at least realizing, that failing is part of life, but it’s much less stressful with the right partner <3).

one-shot or multi-chapter

(weird question.. If the definition of “one-shot” is still that it’s a fic that has been written in one sitting (let’s disregard editing), then i’d definitely go for multi-chapter. because i love longer fics. that said, i don’t have any problem at all with a 50k fic that is only 1 chapter. but I wouldn’t use the number of chapters to define whether a fic is a “one-shot” or not, so there’s that ;))

kid fic or roadtrip fic

(definitely the kid fic!! aaah, so cute ;D)

reincarnation or character death

(oof, I don’t like reading MCD >_< and reincarnation would imply that one or both of the characters also died at some point .. and in Merlin fics that would just mean that canon happened and Merlin has been waiting for 1000 years for Arthur to show up again... and aaah no, thank you, I read a few fics like this and they’re just too heart-breaking ugh. so yeah, no, both not for me ;D)

arranged marriage or accidental marriage

(if i’m forced to choose, maybe accidental bonds that can be reversed, like magical accidents or something like this? but in general, it’s not something i gravitate towards. I’d much rather read a soulmate AU <3)

high school romance or middle-aged romance

(see above, I love when characters have had time to learn from their mistakes in the past, I love seeing how many different ideas authors can have for the same characters and their decisions in life. so yes, let them grow up a bit ;))

time travel or isolated together

(Time travel is … difficult to get right. I’m picky about it.) <-- what Pie said

neighbours or roommates

(what question is this? OMG THEY WERE ROOMMATES!!! ;D)

sci-fi au or magic au

(I guess that is for fandoms that are in neither of those categories? like Sherlock or Yuri on ice? since HP and Merlin fall into the magical category and VLD is sci-fi and I do love crossovers, I guess I have to say: Both?! Both is good! ;))

bodyswap or genderbend

angst or crack

(well written crack is so much fun, but the problem is the well-written part. there is much more well-written angst, so i have to go with this ;))

apocalyptic or mundane

(definitely mundane here. apocalyptic just stresses me too much after a while, same goes for dystopian or any mix thereof. I don’t mind angst with a happy ending (note the happy ending ;)) - throw everything you have at the main characters, but don’t just let them barely survive and then have a bleak or no future.. that’s just ... na, thank you. i read fic to escape my worries, not to have even more ;))

~~~ I’m tagging the fab four ;D @sassy-cissa @erin-riwen @lettersbyelise @maesterchill if you’d like to play, just know that you don’t have to write anything, you can just bold your choice and move on ;D and if anyone else wants to play, please tag me in your answer <3

#fandom #tropes #fic tropes game

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jawnkeets · 7 years

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1, 12, 14 &19 :)

from this post

1. if someone wanted to really understand you, what would they read, watch, and listen to?

ok will doubtless miss stuff but

read: t.s. eliot (esp prufrock, the waste land and preludes), f. scott fitzgerald (esp the great gatsby, but this side of paradise and the beautiful and the damned both also massive affected me), philip larkin (it is exceptionally difficult to choose specific poems as he may be my favourite poet of all time, but high windows and an arundel tomb changed my life), virginia woolf (mrs dalloway especially but also to the lighthouse), sand and foam - kahlil gibran, william blake (esp songs of innocence and experience ofc), rainer maria rilke (again, literally anything by rilke, but sunset was my first ever favourite poem when i was 9 or 10 and letters to a young poet is stunning and completely beyond description. edward snow’s translation of the book of hours is also beautiful), as i walked out one evening - w. h. auden (i think i was maybe 10 or 11 when i first read this poem, and it contained my first ever favourite stanza: ‘o stand, stand at the window / as the tears scald and start; / you shall love your crooked neighbour / with your crooked heart.’), jerusalem – jez butterworth, raymond carver (esp cathedral, why don’t you dance?, and i could see the smallest things), 1984 – george orwell, the strange case of dr jekyll and mr hyde - robert louis stevenson, oscar wilde (esp the picture of dorian gray and de profundis, which near ruined me but it’s also one of the most moving pieces of writing i’ve ever had the privilege to read. the importance of being earnest and an ideal husband as well), the rime of the ancient mariner – coleridge, to his coy mistress – marvell, to the virgins – herrick, the road not taken and stopping by woods on a snowy evening – robert frost, somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond and [i carry your heart with me(i carry it in] – e. e. cummings, percy shelley (esp one word is too often profaned), franz kafka (esp the metamorphosis), the raven – edgar allan poe, frankenstein – mary shelley, keats (esp ode to a nightingale - !!!!!!! - but also ode on a grecian urn, la belle dame sans merci, bright star…)

watch: bright star, wilde (1997), the forever dolphin love music video, these videos have been hugely influential on me this year, i hugely repsect artaud and theatre of cruelty (wish i’d seen this live), a production of jez butterworth’s jerusalem, any wilde play, berkoff’s the metamorphosis and the trial. also tangled and the hunchback of notre dame (disney version) lol. i’m pretty out of ideas tbh i don’t rly watch much tv/ youtube/ netflix etc. i like most kinds of theatre tho

listen to (not necessarily my favourite songs/ artists, but these have all had a huge influence on me at some point in my life and a few hav stories behind them): ms – alt-j, minipops 67 [120.2] [source field mix] – aphex twin, chopin’s nocturnes, bloc party (especially this modern love, positive tension, uniform, signs, ion square and eden), jesus christ – brand new, connan mockasin (esp megumi the milkyway above, faking jazz together and forever dolphin love (inc the music video)), crystal castles (esp enth and insulin and concrete and fleece and sadist), diiv (esp doused, oshin (subsume), and valentine), oh devil – electric guest, one more robot / sympathy 3000-21 – the flaming lips, foals (esp hummer, alabaster, 2 trees, spanish sahara and what went down), grimes (esp kill v. maim, venus fly, go, genesis, world

12. dog person or cat person?

cat person if i had 2 pick but i also love dogs!!!

14. are you a musician?

i’m grade 8 cello but haven’t played v much this year unfortunately bc after i did all the grades a levels, deadlines, learning to drive etc became more pressing and urgent and i’ve also been focusing as much time as i can on lit. additionally i play piano and self-taught guitar, and used to write songs and perform covers but not so much anymore, i prefer poetry lol. so in short my musicianship’s a little dusty

19. which Harry Potter house would you be in? or are you a muggle?

ravenclaw my dudes!!!

thank u so much for sending anon :+) sorry abt the length of the answer

#asks #this will all change in 2 days #ask memes

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canaryatlaw · 4 years

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well today was fine I guess, not particularly interesting but oh well. I had to wake up at 8:45 to start the training at 9 and I was like hardcore tired, so I used some of the caffeine gum I normally use when I have to wake up for work at 6 am which I obviously haven’t done in a while and thus haven’t been using it, so this was the first time in a while I’ve done that, but it got the job done. we had some trauma counseling stuff in the morning which was good, I have to say leading up to this I definitely expected it to be a lot more basic and to be with people who were really just beginners, but instead it’s been very deep and with people from all over the field who have vastly diverse experiences and stories to share. so that’s been good. we broke for lunch, then the two afternoon sessions both had to do with children and DV and child’s advocacy, which is of course my area, and the first presenter was a lawyer talking about his experiences and like, the entire time I was just sitting there nodded like oh yes, this is exactly what it’s like. he had a good line talking about how he can’t magically get something done like “my law degree says [my alma mater], not Hogwarts” and I was like oh that’s so good I’m definitely stealing that haha and the fact that we went to the same law school just made it that much more perfect. so I was of course very involved with that session. the last one was more focused on child abuse specifically and how it interacts with domestic violence, which is also of course my shit so I was all over that session too. I have worked with one of the organizations one of the presenters worked at so I was very familiar with all of that, and I ended up piping up quite often because I had a lot to say, lol (yeah I’m sure you’d all have trouble believing that), so that was very educational and good. all day I was still waiting to hear back from the domestic relations court about the hearing for my client from yesterday (in the first afternoon session we were talking about parental kidnapping/return of child orders and I was like yeah I did one of those yesterday, lol), their courthouse is not as advanced as ours on these things, probably because they’re doing more things than just OPs, but the rule was supposed to be that by the end of the next business day from when you submitted it (so by the end of today) you’ll hear from the court and be informed of your hearing status. WELL. despite two emails and an end of the day phone call, I was not able to get in touch with anybody from there, and when I called I left a voicemail and it’s the same clerk person who was bitching up a storm last time because the paperwork was all in one file and not separated by each document (because ????) so now I’m concerned they’re going to come back to me with that tomorrow and I’m going to have to waste even more time getting our tech person to separate them because I don’t have the ability to do that. UGH. I feel bad for my poor client, but the good news for him at least is his visitation with the child is supposed to start tomorrow, so that will be one less hurdle to get over, because return of child cases (you literally go out with the sheriff and take the child back, preferably at school or something to avoid a direct confrontation) can get really messy really quickly, so if can get the child on good terms that would be better, then the order would just stop the kid from going back to the abusive parent. so yeah, that’s a LOT, needless to say. so that was right around 5, and at some point I had checked amazon to see the progress of the final piece of my laptop charger that could’ve been broken (meaning if this replacement doesn’t work the issue is with my laptop itself (which has happened before when kitty chewed the court and it like sent a power surge and blew out the laptop) which is a very much larger pain in the ass so I was really hoping this works. it wasn’t supposed to get here until like Saturday, but apparently they were being quick because it was delivered today, so I got it upstairs and combined it with the other charger pieces and plugged it in, and *thank god* it worked, do that was a big sigh of relief, even if I had to shell out $30 for the replacement part, it’s still better than a broken laptop. so that was good. I moved to the couch since I had been in my room all day and watched some Seinfeld when I was trying to fill out this health insurance application from my work, since I’m no longer on my parents (I keep saying parents, but I’m trying to teach myself to say my family instead, but every time I have to do so it just feels like an ache in my heart) health insurance, since they had to get on an entirely new plan because my dad could no longer be the primary person on it. this had actually always been the plan though, because I had been paid for on their plan until this June at which point I would switch over, so that at least lined up which was helpful. I didn’t want to choose the like super expensive plan for obvious reasons, even though I do have multiple doctors most of them are through Northwestern which accepts pretty much any insurance, and this company is huge out here so there’s plenty of doctors to choose from. I was still pissed as hell that every plan had an outrageously high emergency room visitation fee, which I’m sorry but expecting someone to shell out like $500 in order to get potentially life-saving treatment when they’re literally on the edge of dying in any other context would be textbook extortion and get you sent to jail, but apparently the insurance company can do it. so I still had that. anyway. once I finished it I turned on 24 and ended up finishing the 1st season without realizing it until it was done lol. I did have some knowledge about what was happening at the end so that wasn’t too crazy. after that I watched kpop videos for a while, then another episode of Seinfeld until like 10:30 at which point I switched over to the news/Jimmy Kimmel for a bit, then showered and started getting ready for bed, and now I’m here and it’s almost 2 am and I do at least have to wake up for a meeting in the morning and potentially a hearing call (hopefully, anyway) so I should definitely be getting to sleep now. Goodnight babes. Happy Friday.

#daily journal #June 2020

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