#occasionally i take breaks just bc i delete all my social media | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

decembermoonskz · 2 years

Text

{rest.} ✉️

hey guys update time. this was honestly coming pretty soon, but not being on tumblr the past couple of days made me realize that i need another break. this was actually probably going to happen some time this month anyway due to this week being hella busy and also bc i’ll be starting school again.

i also really just want to write without much distraction and tumblr has become just that without it meaning to. so i’ll probably be less active for a while and post infrequently. edit: it’s the 22nd now so I’ll be able to post a bit but still like it says before this, just infrequently.

i’ll go on with some more explanation under the cut as i have a couple others things to say but it’ll get pretty long, so this is the tldr! :D i hope you guys all stay well and i’ll miss you guys and checking in regularly, but know that my inbox is still open even if i’m less active although i don’t think it’ll have a ton of messages or anything haha alright take care for now!! <33 i will be back keep that in mind !!

navi

so one of the other main reasons that i’m taking time off from tumblr is that it really overwhelmed as i mentioned in a prev vent post. if you didn’t read it i basically said that seeing the (for me) overwhelming amount of support and understanding of the struggle for interacting with ccs actually did the opposite for me and overwhelmed me along with making me feel supported. it began to be too much as it was the ONLY THING BEING REBLOGGED ON MY BLOG. none of my fics were even noticed anymore and recently they’ve only gotten likes anyway, since deleting that post to ease my anxiety, none of my fics have been reblogged (literally, there has been zero reblogs in my notifs). it all became too much to the point i deleted tumblr off my phone. i know to some of you this may be a silly reason to be overwhelmed but for me it caused me a lot of stress and anxiety and made me overall feel really weird about my whole blog for a moment. like “should i keep writing these fics?” or “why am i posting at all?” and i hated feeling like that. so i had to put a hard stop on everything.

in the end it was the best thing for me and so i know that taking a break from here is also a much needed thing in my life right now. i just want to write my stories in peace and just enjoy them without the worry of the effects of social media and so on and so forth.

as for any fic updates. i will still occasionally come on here to update my wip trackers as that is a personal thing i’m doing for myself. you can check my wip trackers in my navi if you’re curious about them. my main focus is to write my remaining collabs that you should expect to see posted in october for halloween, and the next part of gold and silver is also a priority of mine. as for tenth feather and dragon dahlia (my other two wip trackers) those will be done in time as well as they are not my focus tho you may not see them till the end of the year or so. my updates with fics will be slower right now so please do not expect anything. i am considering opening requests as a way to celebrate the blogs 2 year anniversary but that is not guaranteed, it’ll all depend on how i gauge my business for this semester.

i think that’s really everything this time haha so if you’ve made it all the way down here congrats thank you for reading. for mutuals, you know where to find me if you wanna talk, and i’ll see you all when i’m back. i’ll make another post at some point to let people know i’ll be active again, but for now this is a hiatus i’m going

#izzy updates you guys

11 notes · View notes

lila-rae · 2 years

Note

the thing is, he always takes these “breaks” but is still active. active in the sense that he’ll go on for an hour to like some posts and then dip

me personally, i don’t have the instagram app on my phone for mental health reasons. i’m not signed in to my personal account ever and it’s better for me that way. but, i do use my private fan account instagram only on safari web and i’ll like posts there. it’s a controlled space in a way bc when you’re using web you don’t have all access to normal features. tom could be doing that too with his main acc.

irrational thought: tom stating in his video that he deleted the app. and then.. most likely… posting for z’s birthday is sparking a fear in me that the antis will use this as an excuse that they’re once again PR. i don’t know i think bc i’ve been in this for so long, i still occasionally have childish and unrealistic possessive thoughts about them. i hate it so much.

anyways, happy monday.

My husband doesn’t have the Facebook app on his phone for similar reasons, though his was all the political theatre that happens there. It’s not the end of the world to leave social media, whether that’s just deleting the app and still going on web or walking away all together. It’s not very important at the end of the day.

As for the antis I really don’t give a shit what they think or “know” or what delusions they’d have. They’re only relevant adjacent to these blogs. Im pretty sure if we just ignored them they’d get bored and go away. They get off on the attention.

8 notes · View notes

theyaskedmeto · 3 years

Text

what i think each og new direction member's social media presence would be like

basically i’ve been doing nothing all day and i’m way too addicted to social media and i started thinking about this so here we are. also i’m just gonna pretend social media was a big thing when they were at school (it obviously wasn’t but lets pretend this is set in like 2016 or smth)

rachel berry

lets be honest rachel would be so damn annoying on social media (not like that’s a surprise tho she’s annoying anyway)

she’d definitely use instagram the most

she’d post photos of her and finn holding hands and caption it like ‘My world, I love this boy 🔐❤️🌏✨’ and then deletes them all when they break up

EXCESSIVE use of emojis

posts selfies and quote song lyrics in the caption

posts what she’s listening to on her stories (usually boradway) and feels very entitled because of it

posts singing videos

santana and brit probably bully her in the comments of her posts lbr

honestly i can’t see her having any other forms of social media tbh, she just always uses instagram

auto caps stay ON at all times bc it’s ‘against the rules of basic grammar’

tries to talk in the nd groupchat but no one likes her or listens. like ‘What song should I do for a solo this week’ and then it starts a massive argument

finn hudson

one of those boys who just takes photos of The Scenery™ and no photos of him

maybe posts some photos of him and rachel when they’re together though

actually he probably does the same thing as rachel like ‘Can’t believe this girl is mine 😍💗’ and commenting ‘Love You ❤️’ on her posts but it just seems v high school

probably not very active but uses instagram the most

does a lot of those ask thingys on instagram like ‘send me an emoji and i’ll say what i think about you’ LMAO

i feel like he’s not very involved with it because he prefers video games more lol

uses ‘😂’ unironically

auto caps on and doesn’t even know having them off is a thing

noah puckerman

USES SNAPCHAT. nothing else. but he does have insta

has sent streaks to everyone he’s friends with on sc and will continue to until he’s like 25

posts way too many mirror selfies with the flash on without his shirt off (ew)

literally never talks in the nd groupchat

auto caps on - actually he probably Types Like This All The Time

has A Rule that if he’s talking to a girl he has to not reply for at least 2 hours but if it’s a guy then he has to reply asap (bros before hoes type vibe)

blaine anderson

i really don’t think he’d use it that much??? i feel like he’d get too overwhelmed ahdkjhdjs

WAIT APART FROM TUMBLR

he’s probably very involved with tumblr and is part of the star wars fandom/marvel fandom

his ao3 history is between him and his computer only

ppl wanna be his friend on tumblr because he’s just nice and kind 🥺

he’s probably quite popular on there - has a lot of followers

but he doesn’t really use any others - has an instagram but there’s no posts on there

maybe he tries to spread awareness on his insta stories???

hates snapchat with a passion

uses :) :( <3 ;_; way too much (he’s on tumblr)

has auto caps off. like he’s a fanboy okay he’s on TUMBLR fgs.

occasionally talks in the nd groupchat but is normally a bit intimidated by all the arguments it causes

v open about his sexuality on his insta (has a 🌈in his bio🥺)

brittany pierce

she uses all of the main ones (insta and snapchat)

posts loads of photos of lord tubbington on there and adds loads of gifs on her stories

such!! a wholesome!!! insta page!!!!!

lots of mirror selfies with the flash on

bad spelling 😔

tries to do those story bingo things but gives up when she gets confused

also has another insta account to build her fondue for 2 channel

auto caps OFF

uses all the pretty emojis way too much like ‘went to the park 🏞 it was so ✨💗 fun!!! 🌸🌈☀️ we had a good time 😍’

is the QUEEN of the nd groupchat along with santana. tbh her and santana would just use it as their place to talk about everything rather than private messages

santanna lopez

her whole instagram is just selfies

uses snapchat quite a lot but when she gets older she stops completely and deletes it ‘snapchat is for straight ppl’

cyberbullies rachel ajhfdsjhd

does ops on her story and is just brutally honest to everyone who asks

auto caps stay on but sometimes she forces her keyboard to type all lowercase

NEVER uses emojis. not even :( or :) she just never uses them ever

has a tiktok addiction for when she gets sad about britt (especially s2 when britt isn’t with her)

kurt hummel

uses instagram to show off his outfits

especially when he gets older and lives in ny!!

there’d be such cute lil videos of him and blaine on his story like taking videos of his ootd and then blaine photobombing and then he zooms in on him and laughs ok i’ve thought about this too much

compliments all his besties on their photos like ‘So gorgeous 😍’

auto caps stay religiously ON but uses a lot of abbreviations like ‘btw and ily’ etc

in the early days of him and blaine being together, he’d be quite private about it but around the time just before he leaves for ny they get more public

only uses emojis for reactionary purposes eg. to compliment friends

posts photos of anything. honestly i want to see his insta it’d be so cute

has a private instagram for his close friends where he shitposts his whole life like ‘Dad’s taking us to get mcdonalds!!!!’ with blaine

sam evans

posts shirtless pics and all the girls thirst over him ajdhksjdk

uses insta more than snapchat but always sends streaks (maybe when he’s younger tho like around season 4 i don’t think he would be anymore)

also v wholesome though??? like i think he’d post pics of what flowers he got his mum for mothers day

posts pics of mercedes on his story when they’re together 🥺

posts his favourite songs on his story

auto caps ON bc he doesn’t know having them off is a thing lol

uses 😂 unironically

mercedes jones

doesn’t post much on any social media platforms but is always liking everyone elses posts and complimenting her friends

posts more on her story than anything else

when she gets more confident in herself tho, she posts more (especially when she moves to new york)

occasional photos of sam when they’re dating with a lil love heart emoji on her story

lots of emojis but she uses them when necessary

auto caps on!!!

tina cohen-chang

THE SAME AS RACHEL WITH MIKE but like 10 times less annoying and people actually care

literally the cutest couple on instagram with the new directions group

uses the nd groupchat quite regularly bc people actually LISTEN to her there

has a cute lil gc with sam and blaine with some weird ass name

switches to auto caps off after she goes through her goth phase

uses :) and :( and also a few pretty emojis eg. 💗☀️✨🌟💐🍬 to make her captions looks pretty

v quick replier

quinn fabray

this bitch has too many emotions for social media ok?

just watches tiktok to cheer herself up but it makes her more sad

has an instagram but never posts on there

if you wanna message her just text because she’ll never reply otherwise

disappears off the face of the earth during her skank phase. deletes her instagram and everything

auto caps on but it doesn’t even matter because she never even needs to use her keyboard

(we’re talking s3 tho. in like s1 she’d have been into it to keep up her persona lol. her insta would’ve defo had over 1k followers)

mike chang

uses insta more than sc and posts photos of him and tina on his story

fast replier - loyal king

fully ignores the nd groupchat because he avoids drama 😌✨

non caps because it ‘looks friendlier and not like you’re shouting’

will help you with your homework if you have any questions

like ‘hey have you done this english homework?? i can’t find any good quotes that’ll help with the question’ and he’ll reply fast with a whole list bc he’s an academic KING

would love to post some dancing videos but gets too scared :(

artie abrams

has no social media and is rlly annoying bc its so hard to contact him

auto caps on. i mean like how would u know having them off was a thing if you don’t have any socials

fully punctuates every text

55 notes · View notes

jesusmick · 4 years

Text

Sad Boy Hours in Mexico

I have always wondered about the deleted scene from s9e6 where Mickey meets a guy wearing a Gay Jesus shirt. Here is a little drabble I wrote to try to fill in some gaps and explain how Mickey decides to go back to Chicago and prison. Featuring Mandy bc I love her. (2000 words).

It is dark by the time he turns the key to his apartment, the faint click of the lock rattling the loose doorknob. He doesn't know why he even bothers to lock it. He has nothing worth stealing, the drugs and the cash both locked up safe in Alonzo's apartment across town. Even if he did have something of value stashed away in his shitty third floor apartment, nobody in the neighborhood would dare try to break in. The people here, his neighbors, they left him alone. Come to think of it, his coworkers did too. Maybe it was because getting in with the Sinola cartel had been his dad's idea. He had been working with them for over a year now selling overpriced party drugs to stupid American tourists, but the other dealers still called him "El Menor". The younger. The lesser. Even 2000 miles away in Cabo, Mickey was still living in his father's shadow.

He kicks the door shut and toes his shoes off, dropping his backpack by the door. He's exhausted. The fog curling around his mind begs him to collapse on the bare mattress in the corner of the room and sleep until he forgets. He has done too much remembering for one day.

Instead, he moves to the beat-up mini fridge in the other corner of the room. Besides the mattress, the mini fridge, and the broken dresser that had been in the room when he moved in, he is alone. The single bare light bulb hanging from a wire in the ceiling does little to make his home for the last 14 months feel lived in.

Opening a beer, Mickey steps out onto his balcony and folds himself into a plastic picnic chair he inherited from his neighbor when she moved out.

Elena. She had been nice, Mickey thinks. Young and terrified, she had reminded him of Mandy. They would occasionally sit out on their balconies together and smoke. She didn't speak English, and Mickey's Spanish was fairly limited, but they got on. She had moved out a few months ago after getting pregnant with her drug addict boyfriend. Mickey knew he was in jail now. He also knew that he was the one who had sold Hernesto the drugs he had been on when he robbed the liquor store down the block. Mickey suspects that Elena knew too, but she never mentioned anything. She never blamed him and when she moved out, she gave him a potted plant and the plastic chair.

The plant had died weeks ago. Mickey wonders if Elena had her baby.

Taking a sip of his beer, Mickey's mind wanders to Mandy. He knew she had left Chicago years ago. They didn't talk much, but last he checked she was in Los Angeles working as a cocktail waitress in a bar frequented by the same trust-fund babies who made up the majority of his clientele. In a way, he was jealous of her, but also incredibly proud. She had gotten out. Out of their father's clutches, out of their shitty neighborhood in the Southside, and out of her own way. She was making something of herself, all by herself, even if that something was watered down appletinis.

Mickey, he could never be that person. He needed others too much, he thinks. He was too soft, too lost in his own head, too attached. Those first few weeks in Mexico had been some of the loneliest of his life. That was why he fell in with the Sinola cartel in the first place. Well, that and the fact that he was in the country illegally, making holding down a regular job impossible. His father had connections and he was desperate for a distraction. He wasn't stupid enough to call his group of dealers and distributors a family. He knew that they wouldn't think twice about killing him if he did something he shouldn't. But Mickey wasn't stupid, and so far, coasting along in this new life had made things easier. He had a job, a purpose, and a small shitty apartment to come home to at night. It was enough.

Until it wasn't. Until today.

He thinks that maybe he was a little bit numb. That being on his own for so long had turned his head to business and buried his anger, his sadness, his fear under a thick layer of dust and cheap Mexican beer.

Suddenly, he realizes that he is crying. He doesn't know when it started, maybe since he sat down on the porch, but if the dotted teardrops soaking into his shirt are any indication, he has been silently crying for a while now.

He rubs his eyes with the heels of his palms and pulls out his phone. He doesn't know why he does it. But he finds himself scrolling through his contacts and pressing call before he can think twice.

She picks up on the 4th ring. Mickey thinks maybe he would have preferred it if it had gone to voicemail.

"Mickey?" She sounds like she is somewhere crowded, Mickey can hear car horns softly in the background and the sound of high heels clicking on the sidewalk.

"Hey, Mandy." His voice is softer than he intended.

"Hey." There is a long pause before she continues and Mickey thinks that maybe this was a mistake. "I thought you were in Mexico."

"I am. How's LA?" God, this is awkward. Fuck, he and Mandy had never been good with words, even at the best of times. Now, after not speaking in years? What was he thinking?

"It's good, I'm good. I'm on my way to work actually."

"Oh, right. Do you want me to call you back? Sorry, I should have texted first."

"No, no, its fine. I still have a bit of a walk. What's going on?"

And that's it, isn't it? Nothing is going on, at least nothing that should have any affect on Mickey's life. But here he is, sitting on his shitty porch, drinking his third beer, and trying to keep his voice from betraying the fact that he's been crying.

It's just not fair. It's not fair that he should be out there, moved on to some new chapter of his life. Some new partner. While Mickey is here, still somehow waiting for him.

"Mick, you still there?"

"Yeah, I'm still here." He rubs his eyes again, pressing hard until he sees spots. He keeps them closed.

"You heard from Ian?"

It's out there now. The reason he called Mandy. The reason he was so distracted and irritable after seeing that college kid from Chicago wearing the "Gay Jesus" shirt. Alonzo had shoved him out of his apartment while they were counting the day's profits and told him to go fuck himself after his fourth nasty remark.

"Yeah," Mandy answers, "I've heard from him."

"And?" Mickey asks, suddenly frustrated. He stares out across the balcony railing, streetlamps flickering and the warm glow from neighboring apartments illuminating the street below. They should be staring out at the street together.

"He called me a few day's ago. I guess you heard about the whole Gay Jesus thing. He stopped taking his meds, got in with the wrong people, blew up a van. His sentencing is on Friday."

"Jesus Christ." Mickey exclaims softly.

He's quiet then. He can hear the sound of a crosswalk through the phone and Mandy's heels on the pavement. He thinks she might have pressed the phone to her chest because he hears her greet someone softly and the background noise suddenly fades.

"I should go." Mickey says and he hates how his voice breaks. Hates that he let himself get this affected. Hates that he is here, alone, in his shitty apartment with his shitty job stranded in fucking Cabo of all places.

He is about to press end on his phone and go grab a fourth beer when Mandy's voice, suddenly clear, speaks again.

"He misses you, Mickey." And that is just too much.

"If he misses me so much," Mickey's voice wobbles dangerously, "why did he leave me in fucking Mexico?" And he is openly crying now. He knows Mandy can hear it. And he hates that too.

Mandy sighs. "He's fucked up Mickey. Just like we all are. But he does miss you. He's pissed at himself for going off his meds and embarrassed that he let it go so far, but I think if you called him, he would listen."

"But he wasn't off his meds last year. He was himself. Or maybe he wasn't, I don't fucking know. He kept saying that he had is life together. He said he had a boyfriend."

"Some fucking boyfriend he turned out to be." Mickey thinks he hears real anger in her voice then, and he reminds himself that Mandy cares about Ian too. That Ian's sentencing was probably just as hard for her to hear as it was for him.

"He didn't even notice that he was off his meds, Mick. He just let him spiral until it was too late to do anything about it. He didn't even go to his hearing."

Mickey could hear the sound of metal scraping in the background and he thinks maybe Mandy was opening her locker before her shift started.

"What should I do?" He knows he sounded desperate, lost, but he doesn't care. He is desperate and more than a little lost.

"You love him, and even though he may be shit at showing it, he loves you too. Figure it out, my shift is starting."

"Yeah," Mickey sighs, "Okay. Thanks, Mandy."

"Bye. Call me later if you want."

She hangs up and Mickey drops the phone to his lap.

This whole day was just too much. Mickey isn't sure what he had expected Mandy to say, but hearing that Ian had gone off his meds and blown up a van wasn't it. When he saw the kid's shirt, he assumed that Ian had taken a job as some sort of gay preacher or social media activist and was now living a cushy life with his boyfriend in one of the hipster neighborhoods up in Chicago. His boyfriend who was probably just as smart and attractive as Ian. Someone who appreciated craft beer, who wrote poetry, and drank soy milk. Not someone with a lengthy criminal record, a fucked up family, who didn't know how to love someone without driving them away.

Somehow, knowing that Ian's life was falling apart, that his boyfriend as a piece of shit, and that he was going to prison gave Mickey a sick sort of vindication. He would never have let things get that crazy. He would have noticed Ian's mood swings and erratic behavior. He would have taken care of him and set him straight before he could have hurt anyone. Before he could hurt himself.

But Mickey knows that isn't fair, and truthfully, he is more worried for Ian than anything else. He has no idea what mental state he is in or how long his sentence will last. And prison is no place for someone like Ian. He's too soft. Too caring. Too proud.

With a new resolve, he wipes his hands on his jeans and picks up his phone. He doesn't really know who to call about something like this, so he finds the phone number for the public defender's office.

The call is quick and to the point. He knows what he wants and he knows what he is going to risk.

He agrees to meet them at the border in Tijuana in two days.

In the morning he will have to get a bus, a nearly 24 hour drive up the coast. But now, for the first time in over a year, a calm settles over him.

The plastic picnic chair strains as he stands, scraping against the concrete of his balcony.

He's not scared of prison. Looking around his room, he realizes that he has been practically living in a prison cell since arriving in Cabo. He is scared of Ian, though. Scared that Mandy is wrong. That Ian doesn't love him and that he is giving up his freedom, his future, for a man who has left him heartbroken so many times before.

As he crawls into bed, arranging his limbs under a threadbare blanket, his mind jumps back to a lifetime ago.

What you and I have makes me free.

Mickey thinks that he was right, back then. There is no freedom for him without Ian Gallagher.

#gallavich #mickey milkovich #ian gallagher #shameless #fic

75 notes · View notes

obsessedwithallthingsbooks · 4 years

Text

Cosmere characters on social media

alright guys it’s time for the Important Question: What social media would the cosmere characters use?

Kaladin: you bet his bitter ass is on Twitter. non-negotiable. the politics of it would piss him off, but the man lives for justice. he’d be bringing attention to patreons and such (for others, not himself) and maybe tweet out self defense/medical tips, or about something sweet Syl or Oroden did (or even tweet out quotes from his father). he’d have a campaign against amaram (those tweets are liked by Bridge Four and Adolin). the only reason why he hasn’t tweeted mega angry shit about lighteyes in general is because he doesn’t want to lose his job (in bursts of bitterness he occasionally likes OTHER people’s tweets about that though. he’d feel bad for jeopardizing his code. and Syl might get onto him about it. but. at least they can’t fire him for that). he’d be pretty silent about his depression on there (by that i mean he wouldn’t make posts or draw attention to it, but he’d definitely like some mental health tweets. i feel like shallan would post something incredibly vague about the matter every now and then and he’d like all that)

Adolin’s cheerful so he can’t be anywhere near Twitter. it would break him. honestly, he’d make pinterest boards. he’d like the organization of it all. being able to have a panel for fashion AND swords???

Vin: girl is reclusive as HELL. i feel like she’d use social media though. I’m surprised to say, maybe Instagram? or Twitter too? insta bc she’s got a girly side, but idk.. i don’t see her as the posing for pictures type. she’d have instagram but she’d like never post. at least, book 1 Vin would never post. Book 3 Vin gives updates of her and Elend on her story and maybe writes a motivational paragraph every couple of months about her own struggles and finding herself. her insta grows with her character development. she avoids celebrities as much as possible.

Vasher: bitter old man is also on twitter. actually, no. he deleted all of his social media EXCEPT twitter. he only goes on there to laugh at arguments. he gets involved maybe twice. opposite with Vin, his involvement declines with his age. Nightblood would prod him to log in, though. if he could, he’d hack in and just type “EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL.”

(warning you: i actually haven’t?? read?? Elantris?? yet?? or white sand??? fake fan, i know. i’m waiting for white sand at the library. and elantris is on my Christmas list.)

Shai: Devianartdevianartdevianartdevianart. she’d get blocked from there though because someone posts their art with the caption ‘mine, do not steal,” and she doesn’t, she just recreates it to near perfection and posts it as hers. so yeah. blocked. she’s bitter about it.

Hoid: man, oh man, would any of our little human sites suffice? jk, he’s on tumblr. he’s got that energy and would be able to take on multiple different personas. now that i say that, Shallan’s here too.

Wayne: Wayne doesn’t have social media, he fiddles with whatever he’s got in his pocket and that’s that.

Dalinar: whatever social media he has, he’s bad at it. especially if he’s arguing. nobody takes him seriously. even Adolin has trouble supporting some of his posts. Kaladin likes every single one though, especially if honor’s involved.

Sazed: the man has a whole blog that only two people read, but that’s enough for him. in fact, he thinks he’s famous until he asks people irl about it and refers them to his blog. when they don’t check it out, he gets dejected, but Vin--and every now and then, with Vin’s prodding--Elend will give his stuff a like.

Siri: she’d be a vlogger. idk why she has vlogger energy, but she does. “hey I’m in Hallandren~, hI BACK HOME! VIVENNA, HERE’S MY HUSBAND. YOU KNOW, THE GUY YOU WOULD HAVE MARRIED! *Susebron blushes into the camera and says nothing*”

Lightsong: i don’t know what social media he’s on, but wherever he is, he actually gives some really sound advice buried beneath layers of self-effacing sarcasm

Jasnah: she uses Twitter to promote whatever book she’s just published and to call out everyone’s bullshit now and again. also to piss people off.

Pattern’s like a bot. literally no one can tell if he’s actually tweeting stuff out or if it’s generated. he has the same shit recycled bUT every now and then he’ll post about a discovery (which Syl will like and comment on like, “Oh! I remember finding out about MATING, something Kaladin won’t do!”). sometimes he’ll post something about Shallan and.. she was Very embarassed the first time it happened. However, talking to Pattern proved to be a long and ultimately fruitless conversation. Pattern still doesn’t understand why Shallan doesn’t like that, just that she doesn’t. he only talks about it occasionally, now. at least, online.

Elend: Goodreads! He’s also got something on the side--probably Instagram, actually, to be all ‘I LOVE MY WIFE!’ Kelsier. Cannot. STAND. IT. Elend notices that every one of Vin’s posts has received a like from Kelsier. nothing of Elend’s has ever been liked.

Feel free to add onto this!

241 notes · View notes

jewpacabruhs · 4 years

Text

hi guys! so this post is gonna be a rambly mess but fuck it, here ya go. if u dont wanna read all of it, u dont have to; skip down to underneath the tl;dr in bold text for the important bits :)

(there’s a brief & non-graphic mention of a triggering topic in the next paragraph. please be sure to skip this next paragraph if the thought of suicide is going to upset you.)

alright. so i didn't share this originally, but i spent some time in a psychiatric unit this month. suicidality related. 1000% unrelated from anything online, i've just struggled with depression for a very long time & shit happens. i didn't intend to share that at all & i certainly don't want pity; i'm telling u guys bc my time in the unit was extremely eye-opening, and i have some insight to share. since i've gotten out, with the help of my newest anti-depressant (fourth time’s a charm lol), i'm seeing the world in a better light & i finally have the energy to and the interest in exploring what it has to offer, which frankly i've never had before.

with that has come the realization that i’ve come to do something very unhealthy, and i want to break out of it. and that’s how much i’ve come to rely on my fandom life. i don’t want to get too candid publicly, but mental illness took a lot from me, and i lost most of my life, my future, and my options in the last few years. next year will involve a lot of working on rebuilding things. but in the time that i let things fall to pieces around me & i absolutely couldn’t get out of bed, i had a phone and i had a laptop. so when i couldn’t get up and physically face the world, i built up a new world online.

and i don’t think that’s a completely uncommon experience. most people are able to better manage things, and evenly juggle real life with an internet life (like i did back in middle school), because most people can’t abandon their real lives entirely like i managed to; but i do think a lot of people nowadays rely on their fandom life and their fandom friends when their irl situation isn’t ideal. and that’s an excellent coping mechanism in theory, but i think it’s debilitating in the long run.

forgive me for sounding like an old person, but i’m a heavy nostalgist and a bit of an anarcho-primitivist in that i resent modern technology's influence on society - but that hasn't stopped me from letting it be a big part of my life out of accessibility. the internet kept me occupied during my low points, and i became dependent, but i've realized i don't wanna live like that anymore. i’m vaguely grateful that it usually kept me busy enough that i wasn’t thinking the bad thoughts as frequently, but more than anything, i’m resentful that my grasp on reality got lost somewhere along the way, and i let time get away from me, too. because, again, an internet life should be a fun hobby, but when it’s a lifestyle and it becomes an excuse to avoid dealing with our real lives, bc our real lives aren’t as rewarding or as exciting, then it’s unhealthy.

everything’s at our fingertips these days, but i deeply believe human interaction, fun, and fulfillment shouldn't be spoon-fed to us through a screen. it's easy access, sure, but at the end of the day, is it any way to live? compared with how much world there is to see, i’m no longer satisfied with the thought of sitting behind a screen for another five years. i used to be, when i had no hope and no drive, but not anymore. i’m not gonna let myself settle for staying busy with the thing that takes the least amount of work & movement. not only because i’m a whole ass adult who needs to start sorting my shit out for the long run, but also because i deserve better.

and it’s fucking hard! especially for those of us who are neurodivergent. i dropped out of school three fucking times due to crippling social anxiety and utter lack of ambition and energy. i lost all my friends through that (making friends post-school is hard af); the thought of having to go out and remake friends makes me wanna fucking cry. i have a hard enough time making friends online, i’ve even come to struggle with correspondence thru text & email. phone calls? outta the question. but that’s therapy shit, and i know i’ll get there. i just have to stop putting life off by staying in a comfort zone.

and it’s interesting; depression and anxiety really took everything from me, and while i was dwelling in my own misery, my adhd worsened and decided to make my entire brain revolve around my fixations, so i didn’t have to deal with my own life. can’t think about how much you wanna die and how much you can’t function in society if you’re busy thinking about a ship you like or a character you find interesting. so i latched onto the safety of that. aggressively. problem with that is that once you let your “happiness” (as much of it as you can feel in the midst of your depressive episode, anyway) revolve around an interest, that’s all you have. so you become dependent and reliant, and that’s never good, especially if you’re someone like me who feels pathetic & ridiculous when you realize it’s all you can bring yourself to care about.

and i think that’s what i realized in the psych ward (where there’s legitimately nothing to do; i did soooo much more thinking than usual, and i already think too much haha); mental illness will try to fuck up your lifestyle, so you have to eradicate the things that’ll let that happen in the first place. for example, like i said, my adhd tries to counteract my depression by making me hyperfixate and/or hyperfocus on something else to protect me from bad personal thoughts, and that’s good in theory (doing something you enjoy when you feel bad, to distract urself, is the number one most basic coping skill you learn), but i can’t do it in moderation, i let it run my life, and that’s made me worse in the long run. so i have to force myself out of that completely and not let myself fixate on things that make me happy in the short term, but don’t ultimately further me as a person. having fixations helped me through some awful times, but now i need to force myself to grow up, you know?

and while tumblr and other social media is an excellent way to indulge those fixations, it’s an aggressive enabler, in more ways than one. what i mean by that... okay, so while i’m the type of person who self-destructs while unhealthy, i do occasionally lash out. and i know some people completely explode rather than implode when they’re not doing well. and that’s how you get discourse, i think. because when mental illness makes us care much more about our interests than we ought to, and someone has a differing opinion about that interest, the instinct is of course to attack, if you’re that kind of person. i don’t think i am, but depression and boredom go hand in hand, and i might be inclined to care more about discourse than i would if i were healthy, purely because it’s entertaining and something to do.

that’s a long winded way of saying, while i stand wholeheartedly by my past positions, i do regret starting shit in the first place. i’m not the kind of person who genuinely cares about much and i have little to no sense of morality (im a chaotic neutral bastard), so the fact i was bored enough to start shit really goes against my character and says a lot about how bad i’ve been. so i apologize for all that. but, again, i think that's just what happens when something is truly your everything. and i think the chronic negativity of modern fandom is a result of how damn seriously we all take it, because we care so much and we’re so dependent. fandom’s supposed to be fun, but it’s just too damn stressful this way.

idk my point in sharing all this, but i do think it'd be cool if this kinda got yall thinking. even if you don't engage in discourse, if fandom is just one of your only consistent sources of happiness, that's not healthy either. we all gotta break out & exist more & louder & more positively. and unfortunately i think tumblr fandom (and maybe all modern fandom) is no longer a place that encourages positivity and health.

but for all my criticism, i do just wanna say how eternally grateful i am that i was fortunate enough to meet the people i call my best friends through tumblr. they're my family, truly, and all the bullshit in this fandom has been worth it simply because it brought them to me. i love them to death and i always will, even if interests change, even if we grow apart, even if we quit speaking entirely in the next few years, i love them with my whole heart in a way that transcends a simple fandom friendship and i'm so glad we bonded over sp in the first place. that’ll never change.

i will also always love south park itself. now that the cat's outta the bag about my hospital visit, i can brag about my most pathetic and obsessive accomplishment; the fact that i've never let circumstance stop me from watching a new south park as it airs, and i've now watched sp on 1) an airplane, and 2) in a psych ward. i win for most dedicated fan tbfh. dsjkf & i'll keep that tradition, and i'll still watch this stupid show til it ends! it'll always hold a special place in my heart, & kyman's still my most meaningful & long-term ship. i'll never stop loving it.

tl;dr

so, to recap; for 2020 i'm making myself step back from fandom (not just sp fandom, but fandom in general) and quit letting my world revolve around my fixations so i can enjoy the outside world a little more, mental illness be damned, and the first step is gonna be quitting tumblr. this blog won't be deleted and i may occasionally post (maybe when next season airs) but you're absolutely free to unfollow bc this'll be a mostly inactive blog. i’m also unfollowing everyone, so mutuals, please don’t take that personally.

i will, however, try to write more prolifically, bc fic writing is something i'm able to do in moderation & enjoy, and i hope to get back into it. so if you'd like, you can keep an eye out for any upcoming fanfic i may post - my ao3 is leere. i also have snapchat, instagram, & twitter my mutuals can ask for asap (bc ill be logging out for good by the afternoon of the 31st, which is tomorrow) - though i'm not very active on any of them. still, if you wanna have access to me, i’ll be there.

i want some connection to the fandom still, albeit without letting my life revolve around it, so i'll be starting a new open-to-the-public kyman discord server! the post with the invite for that will go up soon. nvm im too anxious

thank you for reading, thank you for the good times (thnks fr th mmrs), and i hope everyone has a good 2020!

#txt #mine

21 notes · View notes

sorrowedvigil · 7 years

Text

HELLO PALS

Sorry to come back with such yucky news, but honestly is anyone surprised? A lot has happened since I...quietly disappeared and floated gently of the planet (come join me, I have tea). Good things, for example, like moving into a new place and acceptance top my top grad program (with a grant)! And I took an extended social media break, as you’ve noticed. Not because anything happened! I just realized too much of my life was spent around maintaining my blogs. Somewhere between that realization, and how little energy I had to spare, I made the decision to slowly begin to let go.

So, here’s what happens next.

I’m not deleting any of my blogs. In fact, I may continue to roleplay on them! But, more likely than not, I’ll keep them open for occasional check-ins on my favorite people (hint: u). If I unfollowed you from another account, it’s just my way of gently cutting them down to inspiration blogs. I’m not upset with anyone! I pinky promise.

SHOULD I UNFOLLOW?

No? Yes? Well, you can if you want. Obviously I’m rarely here. But I may still post drabbles and headcanons on this and my other old mains.

WHERE CAN YOU FIND ME NOW?

Well, here. This is going to be my new hub for writing. I have several sideblogs attached to serve for different characters, or even just different...aus for characters (yes, yes I fell back into HP along the way). Feel free to ask if you want to follow, but realize I can’t follow back.... bc sideblogs. In order to keep myself from becoming overwhelmed, and to keep from disappointing you with wasting your time and energy, I’m going to be extremely selective about the threads I start from now on. ANYONE can tumblr message or im me AT ANY TIME (even if we’ve never talked, or even if it’s been a while since we did). However, I’m going to be very careful in giving out other means of contact, for the same reason. I’ll get pulled in so many directions, I will end up giving none of them my full attention.

There’s also my personal, which I’m also not on that much anymore but idkmaybeyouwerecuriousorsomething....

BUT SAM, WHAT THE HECK ARE YOU WRITING?

Whatever I diddly dang want, you kids! No, but mainly, I’ll be continuing the themes I began on LETHANAVIIR ( Falon’Din ), GHILANNAIIN ( uh..Ghilan’nain ), ELVHENANRISING, and here! ...Along with some new characters. I mean, it’s one sideblog per muse, so don’t fret about getting overwhelmed by a multi-muse, or feeling like you have to follow all of them just for the content of one. Follow one, or all of them! Or none. Bye :’(

CAN WE WRITE TOGETHER?

Sure, probably. You can always ask! What I’m trying to accomplish is being kind to myself efficient with my organization, so I won’t have to log in to 6 different places just to see if Bob from accounting sent me a message on one of them. Furthermore, I crave longterm development, and deep interaction, and lots of intimate ooc plotting that I just can’t get in the same way when I’m balancing 70+ drafts per blog! I’m looking for character dynamics and worldbuilding that we can let go on....forever if we wanted.

WOAH, SAM, ARE THOSE DRABBLES?

-Asked no one. Why, yes! Since it’ll be a quieter setting, I may write drabbles from time to time. With your permission, and if I know your muse(s) well enough, I may include them. Some of you old timers may remember I used to get drabble requests here all the time, especially from @artemorteand @swevenfox and I feel that getting those prompts so early on helped strengthen who Abelas is to me a tremendous deal, and I am so grateful to them both for that. If we follow each other, and you send me prompts, expect me to return the favor. (If you follow me, but I don’t follow you, you can still send me prompts - if they fit what I view possible, I may treat your prompt as a request and write it specially for you!)

Anyway, this was obviously a long time coming. I tried to put it off, but it’s not fair to any of you for me to explode from the bushes and disappear into the darkness after yowling into the night and stealing a banana from your plate.

I love you guys lots, PLEASE feel free to reach out to me if you want to stay in contact, plot, or get the names of my blogs. Or all of the above! This goes for mutuals and personals alike. Don’t feel badly if I don’t follow you back <3 that doesn’t mean I don’t want to stay in touch, I swear. I’m only going to follow back if we’re actually writing together. However, I will be honest if I need to be quiet, ic and ooc. Please be aware that I may not be comfortable chatting. But I will tell you kindly, and early on.

Take care of yourselves! You’ll see me here every so often, just so you never think old elf grandpa isn’t watching your sins. He does, and he knows. Always.

#✮ ┅ ❛ ᵇᵉʸᵒⁿᵈ ˢᵒʳʳᵒʷˢ { sᴄʀɪʙᴇ }#✮ ┅ ❛ ᵃᵇᵒᵘᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ʷʳⁱᵗᵉʳ { sᴄʀɪʙᴇ }#probably gonna get reposted a few times

31 notes · View notes

noctomania · 4 years

Text

Nothing is funnier to me than exposing people for being glued to their social media.

Like, look, there was a time when i too kept notifications on for social media. Until i realized how damaging it can be.

That reply to your tweet? It can wait. Someone's bday notification from Facebook? You don't need to be first to know (and if you actually cared about their bday you would probably have already known). Latest pic posted by your fave on IG? It will still be there in a few hours and days and weeks and months....

Turn off notifs. I urge you. For your wellness.

I say i find it funny only bc they will deny until it's clear I'm right. But i take wellness very seriously. I wouldn't find it funny if i knew the person was suffering. I am aware of that potential though whichis why i say this.

It is not healthy to be bombarded with info 24/7. It's especially not healthy for it to come in right as it happens every time it happens without any warning. Give yourself a break, you don't need to carry the world on your shoulders.

Moderate everything. Dont overindulge, you will only get sick.

An example of what i do to moderate my intake:

I have zero notifs on unless you count for text messages (this helps break the habit of reaching for the phone immediately when i hear it buzz)

I mostly only get on while im at work and have down time. (This helps work go by faster and actively limits my ingestion)

I put my phone away at home.

I don't use social media outside of my phone aside from occasionally drifting through tumblr but i rarely do that at home.

(I did also delete my Facebook and i encourage you all to do the same but that's beyond this, they're just terrible and keep hosting lying propoganda which is also unhealthy tobe exposed to frequently)

Find what works for you, or feel free to copy some of these and see if they work for you.

#sign off every once in a while #i know i sound like a boomer but im speaking as someone who has to moderate this stuff or else i lose control of my wellness

0 notes

bxmbsxawaya · 7 years

Text

CHARACTER STUDY SOCIAL MEDIA INFO. repost, don’t reblog ! SOCIAL MEDIA.

TWITTER NAME: Z Monroe /@zmonroe NUMBER OF FOLLOWERS: 294 ish WHAT DO THEY POST ABOUT: life shit, tweeting abt someone who’s in the same room (Clarke hasn’t moved in ten minutes. I keep making weird noises to break her out of the trance. No luck thus far) retweets politics, posts work out and ‘game day’ photos. post and re tweets pictures of ‘random’ graffiti seen around that she had nothing to do with. (lies) FACEBOOK NAME: Z Monroe NUMBER OF FACEBOOK FRIENDS: 165 (she’s picky on who she adds) WHAT DO THEY POST ABOUT: not much. occasionally buzzfeed quizzes when she’s been tagged in them. often shares game schedules, INSTAGRAM NAME: Z Monroe /@zmonroe NUMBER OF FOLLOWERS: 323 WHAT KIND OF PICTURES DO THEY UPLOAD: post-workout selfies, game photos, landscapes, random selfies, random group shenanigans, aesthetic photos she takes when she’s bored SNAPCHAT: zmonroe TYPES OF PICTURES THEY UPLOAD TO THEIR STORY: *slowly zooms in on someone’s face, captions it #spotted,” shenanigans the group gets up to. things implying she’s dating all of her freinds except Bell, Miller, Bryan, and Monty. Daily Work out photos. WHAT THEY SEND TO PEOPLE: terrible selfies. bit moji’s exclusively to Clarke and Murphy, bc he hates them.

MOBILE.

TYPE OF PHONE: Iphone LAST FIVE PEOPLE TO CALL THEM: Bellamy, Harper, Monty, Abby (inexplicably,) Octavia LAST FIVE MISSED CALLS: Harper, Bellamy, Fox, Roma, Clarke LATEST TEXT AND FROM WHO: “answer your goddamn phone. people are coming over to get drunk and harper said you weren’t coming but you are. be here at 9” -Bellamy LATEST PICTURE/VIDEO THEY SENT:A selfie Harper took of them on her phone where harper’s kissing her cheek to Fox with the caption “What is this hell? Why is she like this?”

TYPES OF PHOTOS/VIDEOS ON THEIR PHONE: landscapes, random terrible pictures of her friends, bad selfies she hasn’t deleted yet, lots of snapchat filters. THING THEY DON’T WANT PEOPLE SEEING: A few tasteful nudes. the concerning number of emails from the financial aid offices. the journal entries admitting she may have to drop out. The truly absurd number of journal entries that are just “harper looked hot today. fuck my life” MOST USED APPS: twitter, spotify, myfitnesspal, clue, instagram WHO THEY CALL THE MOST: Harper, Bellamy WHO THEY TEXT THE MOST: Harper, Fox, and Bellamy LATEST VOICE MESSAGE AND FROM WHO: a very drunk harper telling her she’s a buzzkill and calling her pretty. BACKGROUND & LOCKSCREEN ON THEIR PHONE: lock screen changes every day bc people keep guessing her passcodes and changing it. background is the one happy photo she has with her mom.

TAGGED BY: @peacefighting

TAGGING: @indiebryan @basiicphysics @lcyaltyreigns and whoever else wants to

#v; At Least its not the Apocalypse #( about monroe. )#[ when ur tagged in the same thing twice but will literally do this for all ur moder verses so it's fine ]

0 notes