#obviously i told people i was “sick” or “masakit pakiramdam ko” etc which i mean

[maiaacchiato]

thinking thoughts

#mia's ramblings #thinking abt that one time i was so uncomfortable with my friend's pda thing that i left them behind at the koi pond #like i literally just. stood up. started walking away #i still have no idea why it made me uncomfortable and even now just thinking about it makes me sick #for some reason idrk #also thinking about those times where i was so mentally exhausted from everything that i didnt have the energy to stand up so i just #didnt go to school #obviously i told people i was “sick” or “masakit pakiramdam ko” etc which i mean #its a half truth? atleast ??? #and thinking about how i just want to avoid Her bc i do Not want to be dealing with their relationship problems at 6am but yk #the moment she starts up conversation i just #put those thoughts at the back of my head and pretend like im not fucking tired of her bullshit #i could be so. mentally drained. to the point that i just avoid everyone by going to coop on my own or going to 7-11 just to Breathe #but the moment someone talks to me like jack or salve or heck even kui my brain just. forces itself to act “normal” and by normal i mean no #-mentally drained yk? #like the moment literally anyone starts talking to me the thoughts of being mentally tired just get pushed back and idrk how to tell people #-that im mentally exhausted without sounding rude so i just #let my brain just bottle it up until im so tired mentally that i literally cannot function #i think its called being overstimulated? yea #which yeah basically this shit happens every. day. until my brain just goes nope youre shutting down no school for today also youre getting #-a fever too #which like??? idk why it happens??? #and its not like i dont want to talk to them either #like #obviously i do #but talking to anyone when im like this makes it feel like an obligation #which fucking sucks because i dont like being obligated to do stuff i just want to do it because well #i want to?? #and i feel bad for peewee bc usually he'll talk to me when im at my limit so my responses are very short and yea #this is why i always say 'im tired' whenever people ask how im doing