#obviously having a fucking blast with the twink

[noritaro]

2022 is almost ending so alas... I haven't made an art summary before actually lmfao, been slacking off with art this year imo and it's weird looking at this cause you can tell what shit I've been watching/have been hyped for throughout the year

#nori art #January is the end of my Ock phase so i was in limbo #v tubers always have fun designs to draw when youre in a limbo state #february... #guess what movie was gonna come out next month starts with a b and ends with an atman #march paul dano brainrot in full kick adored watched almost his entire filmography #aint i so fucking lame?? #april? sonic movie obviously #went shortly back to bat cause he owns my ass #and then stranger things s4 came out #fell in love with Vecna/Henry #went into a semi limbo state with art #CSM anime was coming out in September was absurdly hyped for it #and September.... the month the Onceler attacked #kinda?? went all ooga booga wtf in the final days of September #obviously having a fucking blast with the twink

[nethnad]

this letter slides through your mail slot covered in dirt and ash wyd 💌

MATT HARROWQ‼️‼️ i cheer and clap and do a little dance because you are one of the coolest people i know ☺️ you're an absolutely fantastic writer carrying the thoschei sickfic community on your back with just banger after banger after banger. every time i see you've dropped a new sickfic i start cheering like yes obliterate that twinks immune system!!! make his toxic emotionally constipated boyfriend deal with the fallout!!! and i eat it up every time

also you always have only the most based of takes, esp when it comes to tenmartha and series 3 in general. i cannot think of a single time where i've ever looked at your posts/meta and been like "hm i'm not quite sure about this take" because you are just constantly right. i mean obviously you can kinda build onto any interpretation and add other angles but with your takes i always end up going "yeah i fully accept this as a foundational way to view the show" because to me they always have this perfect combo of well-supported nuanced perspectives that try to account for the experiences of everyone involved and always just kinda hit yknow

another thing i really appreciate is just how candid you can be sometimes!! like simultaneously taking no shit but also fuck it we ball kinda vibes so convos are always a blast because im like. alright matt can tell it to me straight but also if we start to get silly with it we get silly yknow. anyways you're amazing keep at it champ

[hyperjynx]

I'm losing my mind in a hurricane so uh

Ranking Ensemble Stars Units Based on My Deranged Headcanons/Opinions

Starmaker Productions

Fine - 5/10

I’ll be honest, despite being a partial Tori main, I’m pretty neutral about Fine. They get points for representation of Theater Kids™, manipulative pretty boys, and Tori’s :3 face but as far as music goes, they’ve never really stood out to me.

Trickstar - 4/10

I actually really like Trickstar but I feel like out of all the bands in ES, they’re the ones who would have a “my mom sold me to 1Direction” fanfic written about them in-universe and for that they get points subtracted

Ryuseitai - 6/10

Unrivaled Meteor Ranger fucks hard and every member of this band has had a warrior cats phase but in extremely different ways. Chiaki probably kins Firestar. Kanata goes apeshit over the Sunningrocks debate. You get no further elaboration.

Alkaloid - 10/10

GRRRRGRRRBARK I LOVE ALKALOID #1 Alkaloid enjoyer right here if you don’t like Alkaloid gtfomp /j. The songs? SLAP. My moratorium? WINGED. Mayoi? IN THE WALLS.

Cosmic Production

Eden - 9/10

Eden almost gets full points. Hiyojun. The biblical references mixed with EXTREMELY horny lyrics. ALL of them are hot.

HOWEVER: for the love of GOD they NEED to fire their choreographer I am BEGGING,,, what the fuck is That One Part in The Genesis (YOU KNOW WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT)

Valkyrie - 5/10

Look, I fucking LOVE Valkyrie. The songs go hard. I blast 'em all the time when I’m handed the AUX. If the band was just Mika (possibly also Nazuna?) then they would get full points, but I have a personal grudge against Shu for existing (top hat, manipulative but not pretty enough to get away with it, enjoys the French, the Nazuna situation) so he costs Valkyrie 5 entire points. 

2wink - 6/10

Their name just being [TWINK] makes me lose my shit but the fact that they’re secretly the angstiest fuckers in game gave me enough psychic damage to subtract 3 points. 1 additional point has been subtracted for those matching midparts.

Crazy:B - 7/10

Crazy:B never misses with their songs. -3 points for Rinne Amagi.

Rhythm Link

UNDEAD - 8/10

Okay you can tell I’m OBVIOUSLY biased towards emos but god. UNDEAD. They work really well together. As a chronically ill vampire kinnie Rei owns my heart and I love him. -2 points for being just a tad basic but overall very good

This does not contribute to the rating but I had to point it out: Kaoru’s whole Thing is that he’s a playboy and Really Likes Women™. Sir explain this then:

Ra*bits - 4/10

Hajime and Nazuna my beloved but Mitsuru and Tomoya look like they came directly from The Promised Neverland and I’m not an impartial judge so -6 for making me think about that show again

Akatsuki - 5/10

I mean. Yeah. They’re fine. Nothing for or against them. Slash! Blade of Resolve fucks but thats about it from me

New Dimension

Knights - 7/10

They have some bops, but I’ll be honest most of their points come from the fact that Ritsu and Arashi are my blorbos I love them. -3 for the “Is He Bothering You, Queen?” vibes I’m hit with every time I hear Grateful Allegiance

Switch - -2000/10

They are magicians and they give gamer vibes and are therefore Untrustworthy. Also the shading on Natsume’s hand at the end of Emerald Planet makes me think of the hot dog hand people in Everything Everywhere All At Once. Perish.

MaM - 9/10

I’m entranced by his cringe fail personality and his cowboy hat, what can I say

-1 point because Madara is not a band, he is a gay cowboy

-1 point again because anyone who nicknames themselves “mama” is Untrustworthy

+1 point though because attempted murder is funny and Madara is pretty

#no i dont take criticism my word is law /j #ensemble stars #shitpost #long post #enstars #fine enstars #trickstar #ryuseitai #alkaloid enstars #eden enstars #valkyrie enstars #2wink #crazy:b #undead enstars #ra*bits #akatsuki #knights enstars #switch enstars #mam enstars

[sailorsenshishitposter]

Blonde twink gets destroyed by the clap of Brazil's ass cheeks

Jet stream Sam:

You like Brazilian chads with dummy thicc thighs that save lives, are an avid listener to bury the light, or have probably never played any other Metal Gear game since you are an avid RaidenxSam shipper who tends to forget or not know that Raiden has a wife (to be fair Rose repeatedly manipulated him and is a terrible cook so obviously Sam is the better choice and you have good taste in husbandos).

First Date:

You were at the local strip club, your boyfriend recently having dumped you. You decided you would go get drunk and watch some hot men dance to ease your troubles. You poured down your tequila and burped. "This better be worth it!" You brought all the cash you had on you which was pathetically small since your only source of income was from working at Wal-Mart.

Suddenly bright lights were flashing in neon colors and for some reason it reminded you of your friends rgb pc setup. "Hey ladies, give it out to our first man of the night, the incredibly sexy Corrente de Jato" Next thing you knew, men and women around you were screaming like they were at a boy band concert. "I guess this guy must be really popular huh?" Soon catchy techno music was blasting and out came a rugged yet chiseled man.

"Lets dance!" He began taking off his clothes and was soon only wearing a thong, not leaving much to the imagination. His rythmn matched the beat and you had to admit that he was pretty good because he could do some wicked moves on that dance pole. The money started pouring in. "Yes, yes I like this!" the man thought. In the corner of the room a slight growl could faintly be heard. There was a lone cardboard box. Underneath of course was none of then Raiden.

"That bastard! So this is what he's been up to? Well I think it's time to make my entrance!" He slowly crept to the front of the row. "What the hell is that?" Raiden was bumping into more people than someone playing bumper cars so everyone eventually took notice and stopped paying attention to Sam. "Shit! I think I've been compromised. Alright, plan b!" He tore away the box and revealed himself.

"Raiden? Is that You? What on earth are you doing here!?" The cyborg pointed his blade at the Brazilian man. "I'm the one that should be asking you that! This sword is a tool of justice but tonight I shall prove that I'm the victor!" Samuel laughed. "By all means pretty boy, if you think this is so easy then why don't you try it yourself?" Raiden took this as a challenge and entered the spotlight. "Alright. Girls like hot guys with accents rights? I think I've got this."

He readjusted his sombrero. "Hola, putas! Se habla español." An angry woman threw her beer bottle at him. "TAKE IT OFF!" He tapped the mic. "Please bear with me ladies and gentlemen, the show will start momentarily. El elemento por favor!" He tore off his suit and smirked. "WHERE IS IT?" Raiden thought he was doing everything right. "Huh?" The crowd was getting restless. "WHERE'S HIS DICK!" Just before Raiden could protest and trauma dump to the entire audience about how the patriots removed most of his body, Sam interjected.

"Hey, why don't we get back to dancing!" The boos turned back into cheers and then Raiden noticed the difference in the crowds reactions. He decided to give dancing a shot. He may be Liberian but he is 100% white with the way he danced. "GET HIM OFF THE STAGE!" Raiden was starting to get angry. "YOU GUYS JUST DON'T APPRECIATE THE ROBOT! BESIDES, WHAT'S HE HAVE THAT I DON'T!"

In unison the drunk patrons began yelling "NO DICK! NO DICK! NO DICK! NO DICK!" The cyborg sighed. He began to feel himself losing to Jack the ripper. "Fuck this, I'll just kill Sam and go home." he thought. Raiden tore the dance pole down and began to use it like L'Etranger. He went to stab Sam but the man managed to parry him. "WHY WON'T YOU DIE!?" he screamed. Unfortunately for Raiden, he was oblivious to the fact that Samuel hadn't been dancing at all but had been doing capoeira.

"SHOW ME A GOOD TIME JACK!" Everyone began to evacuate as the two men battled and the speakers began to play the only thing I know for real. The building was soon turned into rubble and the men lay there motionless, panting. "Well I'm out of a job now blondie so you better find me some work." Raiden let out a loud "GOD DAMNIIIIIIT!" and curled into the fetal position. He didn't want to deal with this shit again.

#samuel rodrigues #jetstream sam #raiden mgr #mgrr #metal gear rising revengeance #shitpost #Barely x reader #Mgr

[thiccnthintfs]

Squad Goals

Jack smirked and snapped the selfie with his phone. With a pic like this, he’d have some pussy in a few hours tops. He threw it up on his socials before tossing his phone onto his bed, then just stood in front of his mirror, flexing.

Life was good. Three months into college and he’d been having a blast. Scoring girls almost every night, partying with his bros, plus he was dominating in wrestling, so he was sure his athletic scholarship would be getting renewed. And tonight? Tonight would be legendary. He was going out with his best bros, Kyle, Steve, and Tom and Tom had promised it would be a night to remember.

Just then, a knock sounded at the door to Jack’s door. His smirk broadened into a grin. That would be the guys now! Jack sauntered over to the door, swinging it open.

“Whaaaat up, bros? You’re- oh, the fuck...” Jack started energetically, before trailing off. He’d been expecting his bros, but standing in his door instead, acting like they fucking own the place, had to be three of the biggest fags he’d ever seen on campus.

“Jackie, doll!” The one on the right squealed, “We’ve come to fetch you babe. Ya ready?”

“Obviously he’s NOT ready, T! Boy’s not even got his panties on! Like, I told you we were running early,” the one on the right sassily retorted, propping one hand on his slender hip.

“I seriously don’t mind this view, though...” the middle twink bashfully added, lisping, “Like...don’t mind us, Jackie. You take your sweet time getting ready.

“The fuck are you fags and where the fuck do you think you get off talking to me like that?” Jack growled at the twinks, but under his anger there was a growing confusion. These three were fucking flowers, but they almost looked...familiar?

“Jackie, babe. It’s us. Your besties?” the right twink looked at Jack over the rim of his green-tinted shades. “Like, duh! It’s me, Tommy! And Kylie and Stevie, obvi!” Tommy flicked a limp wrist toward the left and middle twinks in turn.

“What the...” Jack gasped, a horrified look spreading across his face. It couldn’t be! “Nice try, but cut the shit, fairies! You...you may look a bit like my bros, but there’s no way! Tom’s one of the biggest guys in the gym! And Kyle and Steve are heavyweights in wrestling like me!”

“Like eww, sports,” the right twink, Kylie, gagged before giggling, “Though I admit...I do miss fondling all those hunky guys.

“Saaaame, girl,” the middle twink, Stevie, agreed, lisping yet again.

“Babe, I promise its us. Like would I lie to you? Remember? Tonight is supposed to be legendary!” Tommy smirked before taking a step into the room. “And oh, honey. It will be.”

Jack backed up, horrified. Still smirking, Tommy took another few steps into the room. Giggling behind him, Stevie and Kylie followed and shut the door.

“The fuck...how can it be you guys? You were all twice as big yesterday! Not to mention straight...” Jack trailed off.

“Hah, you know, that’s a funny story...” Kylie said as he shot a glare toward Tommy. “Turns out that Tommy here was never as straight as he claimed to be. He fucked some twink behind the gay bar two days ago and then boom! Next day he wakes up a toooootal fag himself! Imagine my surprise when he knocked on my dorm looking like this!”

“Pssh, bitch, don’t act like you didn’t love it! You sure fucked me like you did!” Tommy shot back, making Kylie blush. He ran his hands down his slender chest and stomach. “Besides...now that I’ve gotten used to it, like I feel fabulouth!”

“Fuck...” Jack muttered, not knowing what else to say. He backed up a few steps further, falling back onto his bed.

“Oh...” Tommy was grinning devilishly, “We’ll get to that. See, babe, like...I don’t fully get what happened, but that twink I fucked? Must’ve been like magic or a curse or something to make me into this flaming comet. Whatever it is, it must be catching, though! Because when I woke up and was craving dick sooo badly, I found Kylie here and had him fuck me. Then poof! Kylie’s a fag, just like me! Then he was craving dick, too, so obvi we found Stevie and turned him out, too.”

Jack stared at Steve...or Stevie. The blushing twink was eyeing Jack hungrily. Now that he had fully stepped into the room, Jack noticed that unlike the other two, Steve still had a bit of muscle to him. His thighs a little thicker, his pecs a little meatier, at least compared to the other two.

“Soooo, you see, Jackie...” Tommy droned on, “We’ve learned a couple of things! Like, apparently, the most recent convert is just increeeedibly thirsty for cock after they come over.” Tommy giggled. “And also...like, the more guys you fuck, the twinkier you get!”

Stevie took another step toward Jack. “And Stevie here...he’s awfully hungry, Jackie...” Tommy intoned ominously.

“St-Stay the FUCK away from me, you fags!” Jack shouted, backpedaling on his bed. No way he was gonna become a fag like these guys!

Tommy sighed. “Give it a rest please, Jackie. There’s one other thing I’ve figured out...this curse or whatever?” Tommy smiled sweetly. “Like, it makes us irresistible, babe! All the guys want us! I mean...think about it, hon. If you really wanted away from us...big strong boy like you, wouldn’t you be gone by now?”

Jack opened his mouth to retort, but found that he had nothing to say. Shit. He tried to will himself up, away from these fairy former friends of his...but no matter how much he willed it, he found that he just couldn’t move.

Well, at least most of him wasn’t moving. Dread etched into his face, Jack looked down to find that his dick was inexplicably getting hard, causing his towel to tent upward.

The twinky trio smirked and with that each boy began to remove their tiny speedos. David nearly gagged. The twinks were hard, too, though it looked like none of them had a dick over 3 inches long. He was sure that they’d all once been bigger.

“See, babe? Toooootally irresistible, even to straighties!” Tommy giggled. “But don’t worry! You won’t be straight for long! After all...us four? We’re a toootal squard and like, it’s time you rejoined us!”

Tommy braced himself as the twinks dove onto him.

“Fuck...no...fuck...” Jack moaned. Tommy and Kylie had each latched onto a pec with their mouths and were sucking expertly on Jack’s nipples as they grinded their twinkish bodies into Jack’s stomach and sides. Every now and again he’d feel a little wet pinprick, which Jack realized was the two twinks’ dicks poking up against his stomach or hips.

“Remember...Kylie...” Tommy said between licks, “As yummy as he is...Stevie gets the main course.”

Jack gasped, looking up over the heads of the two writhing twinks to see Stevie standing on the edge of the bed, between Jack’s legs. Despite everything, his towel had managed to stay on this whole time, but it didn’t look like that would be the case for much longer.

Moving like a feral beast, Stevie yanked Jack’s towel, undoing the knot and with that, all 7 inches of Jack’s cock sprung upward. Stevie’s eyes locked right onto it, following it as hypnotically bobbed back and forth from Tommy and Kylie’s licking and grinding.

“Steve...please, man...I don’t wanna be a fag...” Jack pleaded. This broke Stevie out of his cock hunger, if only for a moment. He smiled almost kindly at Jack.

“Don’t worry, Jackie. It doesn’t take long. And you learn to love it, I swear!” Stevie wrapped one of his dainty hands around Jack’s dick, making him gasp. “Though I don’t think I could resist even if I wanted to, Jackie...I’m soooo... hungry!”

And with that, Stevie dove in. Jack’s eyes widened as he felt his friends warm mouth wrap around his dick, then begin bobbing up and down. Up and down. Every now and again, the twink would glance sultrily upward toward Jack.

And Jack couldn’t lie to himself. That breathy, starry-eyed look as Stevie slobbered over his meat nearly fucking made his come then and there.

Hell. If this was how he was going down, he might as well at least enjoy himself right? Soon as that thought came into his head, Jack found that he could move again. He took each muscled arm and shoved them down on Tommy’s and Kylie’s heads, forcing them to suck even more forcefully on his pecs.

“Fuck...fuck yeah, you twinks! You like that, huh? A top who’ll put you in your place?!” Jack growled, his dick twitching as the two twinks moaned in reponse.

“And you...” Jack growled, reaching down toward Stevie, “Fucking take it all, you bitch” Jack shoved Stevie’s head down so that Jack’s length was fully inside him.

Jack grinned, reveling in the sight of the dominated twink. And that’s when he noticed it. Stevie was changing.

As he bobbed up and down on Jack’s dick, Jack saw that Stevie’s shoulders were drawing inward. His light pecs were flattening out. And his ass, the boy’s ass was growing...filling in with fat that made the two globes jiggle as Stevie worked up and down on Jack’s dick.

That ass.

“That ass...fuck! I need that ass!” Jack shouted, suddenly, throwing Kylie and Tommy off of him and reaching down to pull Stevie up onto his bed in one swift motion. The dazed twink stared up at Jack and Jack saw that even his features had become twinkier. Stevie had a button nose and his hair...it had always been platinum, right? Not wasting any more time, though, Stevie flipped and offered his growing bubble butt to Jack. Moving almost instinctually, Jack groped Stevie’s cheeks, then in one quick movement, plunged his dick inside.

“Ugh...” Stevie moaned, “Jackie...go easy on me, babe.” Jack paid the twink no mind. It was like he was on auto-pilot. He began to piston his cock in Stevie’s ass, ignoring the small part of his mind that was screaming for him to stop, that soon he’d be past the point of no return.

“Aww...I was hoping for more of a taste...” Jack was vaguely aware of Kylie off to the side as he said this. From his other side, he heard a sigh. Tommy.

“Me, too, hon...me, too...this may be a record. In the end, Jackie here didn’t put up much of a fight.”

Some small part of Jack felt outraged at this statement, but he quickly brushed this part of him aside. He couldn’t stop thinking about how good it felt thrusting into Stevie’s newly fattened ass. As faggy as this was, somehow, when he was fucking this twink, Jack had never felt so manly.

“Fuuuuuuck yeeeah!!” Jack shouted, flexing his biceps as he continued to pump into Stevie. “Get ready, fag. I’m about to breed your athhole!” Jack starting thrusting even faster into Stevie, completely oblivious to the fact that he’d lisped the last word.

Off to the side, Tommy and Kylie smirked, each twink touching himself as they watched the show. It was about to happen.

Jack reached down with both hands to pull Stevie’s hair, causing the twink to moan even more, not noticing how his arms were rapidly deflating.

Thrust, thrust, thrust.

“Fuck...fuck...fuck....” Jack muttered, feeling himself edging closer to coming, not noticing how his voice ratcheted upward in tone with each “fuck.”

Thrust, thrust, thrust.

It was getting strangely harder for Jack to keep his balance as he fucked Stevie. He’d always been a top-heavy guy...or so he thought, as he felt a droplet of sweat run down his slender chest. But he was feeling almost...bottom-heavy all of a sudden. It almost felt like his own ass was starting to jiggle as much as Stevie’s.

Thrust, thrust, thrust.

“I...think thomething’s wrong with me...” Jack lisped. He was still fucking Stevie, but he was starting to get fucking tired. “I...ahh!”

And with that, Jack came and as he came, it was almost like he could feel his cock contracting inside Stevie’s asshole, like it was growing...smaller.

Jackie - that was his name, right? - though about this only briefly before he promptly collapsed.

================

“Pleeeeease, somebody fuck me!” Jackie whined, prancing through his dorm room half-dressed and glowering at his friends.

“Jackie, we’ve been over this, babe,” Tommy said with a sigh. He was entwined with Kylie on Jackie’s bed, both twinks still feeling sluggish after a night of playing with and sucking each other off. “There’s a lot we do...but topping isn’t one of those things, sweety!”

Jackie flipped Kylie off, before desperately turning to Stevie. “Please, Stevie? I fucked you last night, so you owe me one!” The lounging Stevie gave Jackie a tired look. Being fucked by Jackie last night had twinkified him even further.

“And you know that I appreciate that, doll, really!” Stevie mewled as he stretched out in a pair of Jackie’s briefs he’d claimed for himself, “But it doesn’t work that way! Once you come over to this side, it’s all about getting fucked, not fucking!”

Jackie crossed his arms and pouted.

“Yeth, I thee that,” he lisped. “Well, then...I need to find a guy to FUCK me! And thooner rather than later, pleath! Tho hurry up ladies, we need to go on the prowl for dick!”

Jackie turned, pausing as he caught sight of himself in his room’s mirror. He was a total twink. His face was boyish now with big lips and big eyes.His shoulders had narrowed considerably and much of his muscle had evaporated away, save for his abs. His dick was tiny now, too, but thankfully he could still fit in most of his underwear thanks to the growth he’d experienced in his ass.

“Thstill kind of thmall, though...” Jackie pouted, waggling his butt as he stared at his reflection, “Though if I could just find the right guy...hmm.”

Jackie turned and pranced back toward his friends. A minute or two of searching and he found his phone sandwiched between Kylie and Tommy in the sheets of his bed. He opened his phone to see the selfie he’d taken yesterday.

And then he scowled. “Eww...like gross, I looked like a total caveman...” he muttered, “Kinda hot, though...reminds me a bit of Brad, that sexy RA...” Suddenly, Jackie lit up! That was it! He turned to his friends, grinning devilishly.

“Ok, girls, listen up! You remember Bradley, from down the hall? I think it’s time we add him to our squad...”

#twinkification #jock to twink #jock to twink tf #gay tf #straight to gay tf #muscle loss tf #twink tf

[radioromantic-moved]

in-depth analysis of a smash-bros-style fight between my main f/os Go (this is very long you’ve been warned)

-basically i’m imagining this as set in a big giant building with a separate room set up for each competitor to start in. i set it up like that so glados stands a chance because she needs something to connect to. she just sits in her room and if anyone comes in she traps them in a nasty little maze

-rudyard, frank and oren don’t even bother participating. they’re just Guys they’d get fucking obliterated. all three of them consider it for kicks but end up psyching themselves out when they see the competition. 

-fenneko, georgie and melanie don’t really feel like getting obliterated either but they Will watch and make fun of everyone who loses.

-gordon with his gun hand and hev suit can probably hold his own for a while but his heart isn’t really in it and he’s not really having a good time so he doesn’t try that hard.

-mera has powers and is obviously pretty strong but she’s also kind of a glass cannon so one solid hit and she goes down. she and gordon probably take each other out.

-drake can beat phoenix in canon but unless there’s extremely serious stakes involved he won’t stay in it for long. after he does that he just. goes home or something (maybe he joins fenneko and georgie and melanie)

-mordecai has a Gun and is sneaky but i think it would be funny if he got beaten by patb because 1) they are mice and he is a cat and it would be dramatic irony and 2) it would be hilarious if toon characters can use that fact to their advantage. pinky goes “my gosh, you can’t shoot us! what sort of example would that set for the children?” and ties his gun into a pretzel

-fittingly enough they also lose for that same exact reason. having them win would be breaking the status quo.

-dash and della team up and do really well until della gets stuck in a spiral hallway. dash blasts her way out of it with rainbow powers but then tries to take on glados with the power of friendship (tm) but since she’s by herself she can’t do much of anything

-glados gets taken down by trexel who has been crawling around in the vents for the entire time. he just pulls out all the wires connecting her to the walls and she shuts down but he gets electrocuted. they’re both fine he’s just dumb as shit.

-which leaves helen and thetis, who get into a no-holds-barred showdown match in helen’s corridors. (helen: you’re getting the CARPETS all WET) eventually it has to be stopped because they’re both just melting away into a different reality whenever they get cornered and are trading increasingly rude remarks with each other. they bond later over being mean to twinks.

#(thetis would be an avatar of the lonely. that's not relevant but i think it's important.) #the ones saddest about the no-killing rule are trexel helen and mordecai. #also the winner's prize is unknown. maybe it's my hand in marriage. #nyx on comms #i won't tag them all i'm too tired #but enjoy <3

[possible-eldritch-catboy]

okay help I have the insatiable urge to clown on someone on the internet and I am going to do that here right fast.

(under a cut for length and sheer clownage.)

so I was looking for this specific image of a chunk of cinnabar that reminded me of a picture of a blood clot under a microscope (I was just like oh wow how novel that biology and geology look similar sometimes that's so cool) and I stumbled upon this post by this random radfem seriously making a case for modern day alchemy. because they read some books where the people talking about alchemy sounded like they knew what they were talking about.

now the fact that they were a radfem isn't super important to their post's point, except to further prove that this was beyond a shadow of a doubt a fuckin imbecile.

I mean,,,, this person was really out here victor frankensteining over a modern alchemy revival like cornelius agreppa's dick needed any more sucking than the modern prometheus has already given him. As if mary shelley didn't publish an entire gothic literature classic over two centuries ago clearly depicting exactly what kind of idiot may wish to follow that path.

there's not really a point to this post other than I still cannot stop laughing at the sheer braindeadness it has to take to really believe something like "actually I think modern alchemy should be a thing that I in particular should pursue" on the basis of 'the authors sounded smart and also esoteric methods of obviously disproven sciences sound more ~accessible~ to me for ~Some Reason~ (see: critical lack of braincells)'

(really though, is there anything more telling than honestly going without a shred of self awareness 'modern day chemistry is too inaccessable and refined for my tastes, I wonder why these outdated and absolutely fictitious methods appeal to me more!' like baby that's cause modern chemistry's for people who are Smart. fucking giggling rn.)

like,,,, I'm sorry to break it to you sweetpea but victor frankenstein was not onto jack diddly shit when he dug up even Then centuries old alchemical anecdotes; he was a pretentious and facetious tool who didn't understand the weight of his own actions, the value of peer review, or know any sense of dignity or self respect. the same can be said for any radfem with the fucking balls to put their single digit IQ on blast on tumblr.com as though they're accomplishing anything more than embarrassing themselves. victor was a stupid deadbeat twink lacking two braincells to rub together, and your frictionless ass is only proving mary shelley knew Exactly what she was talking about when she wrote him.

anyway that's my laughing at stupid people on the internet for the week. like I can't even so much be mad at this person existing so much as I find it Way Too Funny that this person doesn't realize what an all around brainless tool they're spelling themselves out to be on a public platform. I almost Hope they try and defy god and prove us all wrong about alchemy just so the consequences of their actions will forever haunt them and ruin their life completely, forcibly teaching them about the limitations of human nature and thus the true meaning of horror. you wanna be victor frankenstein so bad???? go on then, ms. anti sex work! show us what you can do!!! go on, go graverobbing, I wanna see it, you stupid fucking ass!!!!

#possibly connie #long post #radfem ment #this is just several paragraphs of me being insatiably spiteful towards alchemy and victor frankenstein #with some rando as the medium for doing so. #it's incredibly crass and none too polite lmao #if you don't feel like reading a mini essay of me insulting this person and victor frankenstein for their lacking intelligence #just scroll on by #no judgement lmao I just needed this out of my system

[theflashingwater]

i posted abt it briefly on my personal ages ago but i’ll tell the story here anyway

in my second year of university there was this guy on my college campus who i would see constantly bc the campus is really small and everyone takes the same routes every week to class so you end up walking past the same people at the same time at least once a week. i won’t post his picture because that’s weird but he’s…gorgeous. like a french gael garcia bernal clone, truly. anyway every time we’d walk past each other it would be like the most intense stare-down ever, like my legs would turn to jelly as soon as we walked past each other and broke eye contact. i chalked it up to that stereotypical thing of how french people love to stare in public (after finding out we have a mutual friend in common when a photo of him and this friend appeared on my fb news feed in a feat of divine intervention and i sufficiently stalked his profile to find out he’s french). it was months of this. during the spring semester i thought he had finished his time abroad because i never saw him on campus and was obviously heartbroken. either that or our schedules just didn’t align so that we’d walk past each other, but either way i wasn’t getting the weekly eye-fucking i needed. then toward the end of the year i was out at a nightclub and saw him standing against a wall and obviously my asshole squealed with glee. i was drunk so i basically told my friend who i was with the story of our passionate sight-driven love affair and then was immediately like “i’m gonna ask him if he wants to make out.” she thought i was crazy but this felt like a once in a lifetime opportunity.

to review: i’m wasted. i have no reason to believe this guy would be interested, and in fact no reason not to believe that he’s not a raging homophobe who would deck me at the slightest indication that someone assumed he was interested in men. i am a 5′7″ 20 year old twink whose athletic feats begin and end with being able to do the most pull-ups in high school gym solely because i had the lowest bmi in the class and had been forced to work out once a week as part of phys ed.

i remember the conversation verbatim:

me, sauntering over, with a slight slur, too quietly for the music blasting and the conversations around us but certainly not without confidence: Do you wanna shift? [A/N: ‘Shift’ is Irish slang for make out]

him, leaning in: what?

me, slightly louder to be heard over the music: Do you wanna shift?

him: What?

me: Do you wanna make out?

him: What?

me: Do you want to kiss *points at my face* my face?

him: … No…. no…..

me: Alright!

so then i walk away obviously heartbroken but trying to keep up the facade back to my friend and before i can take three steps he grabs my hand and reels me back in

him: What did you say?

me: …I said “Do you want to make out with me?”

him: OH! Yes!

he then drags me out into the open air where people are smoking, into a quiet corner and we go. to. town. for like twenty minutes. he was the first guy who ever bit my lip when we kissed and i truly honestly thought i would die. then his asshole friend who looked upset dragged him away from me and it was such a two-lovers-being-pulled-away-from-each-other-and-reaching-out-but-they’re-just-out-of-reach-but-their-fingertips-brush moment. I DIDN’T EVEN GET HIS NUMBER and i never saw him again the end

#reference