#now i have to transfer all this writing to…idk what but i guess some massive word docs

[cometkov]

i’m so irritated that evernote changed its free plan to a limit of 1 notebook and 50 notes—i’ve accumulated 17 notebooks of ~500 notes (ಠ_ಠ)

it’s been my main writing application for the last 2-3 years because it’s cross-platform (mobile and desktop) and i love the organization schema (unlike google docs) but their paid plan is mind-bogglingly expensive. if anyone has similar alternatives, i’m on the lookout for something new now! suggestions are greatly appreciated 🙏

#comet’s word vomit #now i have to transfer all this writing to…idk what but i guess some massive word docs #🚬🤏😔 #long weekend of studying and *this* ahead of me

[daisychvins]

｡･ﾟﾟ･ — introduction.

introducing ... violet’s demise ! aka grayson aka her big brother she’s been wiring money to stay away in europe <33333

name: grayson swag money jeon  age: 22 turning 23 (don’t ask me about his sign that’s for liza to figure out someday <3) gender: cis male; he/him hometown: baltimore, maryland sexuality: bisexual & biromantic

listen i was feeling rlly committed to completing his stats but i’m already over it so don’t ask dont tell xx anYWAYS let’s get on to the juicy stuff hehe

i tend to ramble a lot so this intro is gonna be probably a mixture of paragraphs and bullet points and everything in between but let’s start simple. also i rlly wanna emphasize a massive DRUGS TW bc his character largely revolves around his interest in and addiction to drugs

blackmails

grayson is claiming that he's been in a rehab program for the last year and is now completely sober and reformed when he really was just using the money to party and travel throughout europe.

without his parents paying to support him now, he's had to start dealing to make ends meet and keep up appearances. it’s mostly coke, but he dabbles in harder substances depending on what his connections can get him. 

grayson dabbles with calligraphy and was notorious for forging excuse notes and parent signatures all throughout high school and even now sells forgeries for a quick buck. the most notable of these was xavi’s letter of recommendation that helped him get into yale. 

background

grayson is violet’s older brother!!1 yes, that’s right, THE big brother who’s been out of the country getting LIT (and by lit i mean he’s been traveling europe on a series of solo trips w his parents’ money and doin lots of recreational drugs)

i haven’t fully fleshed out the dynamic he has w his parents but just know it’s ,, bad ASDHFJNK basically the jeons treated their children like accessories and expected them to be their little trophies and grayson just was not having that as a kid!!! so he acted out a lot and obviously got himself into a pretty bad scene (thank u goosie) and is basically the bane of his parents existence at this point <3 yet they still try to appease him to keep him under control but that’s for the family task to work out hehehehe

despite hating his parents, he adores both of his siblings. before the drug use started, he was always a big nurturer and would have done anything for either of them......now he wouldn’t be caught dead praising violet but he loves her in secret from afar HSJDFKG

yeah basically he met goose when he was around 15 i think????? and got introduced to drugs around 16 or 17 i wanna say and by the time he graduated high school he was just....a much different person than the soft big brother he used to be. his parents sent him off to europe pretty much as soon as he turned 18 under the guise of going to school internationally, but grayson obviously knew the truth and understood that he was being sent away so he wouldn’t be his parents problem anymore. 

he basically spent the last four years galavanting europe and just....trying to enjoy it???? but it’s hard to enjoy an extended vacation when u have no family or friends on ur side anymore </3 he basically used the money to stay in hostels and worked odd jobs here and there to stay afloat and keep supplied w the...special goods....but yeah lots of drugs, alcohol, sex, and recklessness but he DID learn a couple languages??? or at least enough to get through some pretty basic conversations in most european countries so <3 guess it’s all okay then!!!! 

anyways idk what else to put here that u won’t just find out in the family task so uhhhhhh idk lmk if u need anything else i guess

present/personality

so now grayson is just vibing at yale obviously ummm he actually got super into writing after high school, especially poetry. he used to carry journals full of just random prose about his addiction and his deepest thoughts, as well as probably some lighter stuff about his love escapades or maybe goose idk...basically he used poetry as an outlet and it allowed him to really ground himself and find his place in the world even if it didnt include who he thought it would SO with that being said, grayson got into yale due to a poetry competition he was a part of. he saw some big fancy competition being advertised and on a whim decided to submit some poem about his struggles with addiction and losing his family (a v raw piece that he didn’t expect to ever see the light of day) and he actually ended up winning! it caught yale’s attention and they invited him to apply and, knowing how much it would probably disturb his little sister, grayson very smugly applied and was pretty stoked to see he got in 

because that poem gained such publicity, it was assumed that he was a survivor of addiction and was writing from a sober perspective. he didn’t want to correct anyone, so he just went with it and has basically crafted this story about his massive success and has become an advocate for addiction treatment and rehabilitation. of course, none of the companies that sponsor him or the events that host him as a motivational speaker know that he’s snorting lines in the bathroom beforehand or dealing to half the elites, but that’s between grayson, god, and the blackmailer !

basically grayson showed back up because of violet’s blackmail being exposed. he was off in europe, unable to defend himself, and with a massive vendetta against his family so he decided what better way to reenter society than by publicly outing himself as a martyr <3333 his plan is basically to bash the family name to fulfill whatever angsty coming of age arc he has in store for him to make up for the pain of being sent away .... really angsty yeah </3 rip grayson 

anyways yeah he’s a total fake. he’s been using his status as a martyr to his advantage a lot, the best example being his recruitment into the elites. he guilted them into accepting him by discussing the PR benefits of recruiting a member that struggles with addiction and how supporting addiction treatment and second chances would be such a good look for them. like he basically threatened to publicly expose them for denying him due to his troubled past and accuse them of being exclusionary so they said boop ! ur in. now the elites are proud advocates for second chances <3333

i would describe grayson as fearless, overconfident, infamous due to his condition being exposed recently, a little gloomy, he’s kind of just got this chip on his shoulder and feels like he has something to prove....he’s gotta be better than his parents, gotta stick it to them and to violet and to everyone who doubts him. he’s a grumpy guy with a massive vendetta and a need for some kind of justice. he just doesn’t know what that is yet. despite all of the bad, however, he’s genuinely a pretty good guy. he’s really goofy and a genuine person, pretty friendly with literally everyone until they give him a reason not to be. basically, unless you are a member of the jeon family he probably likes you or is at least cordial to you (unless we plot differently ofc but u know). he’s just a big lovable dummy with some sweet drug connects and a knack for poetry. he also knows calligraphy but that’s beside the point . 

idk if this is enough to describe him but yeah if u have any questions just let me know hehe

this is probably gonna make things hard but considering violet was just exposed i think that he’s pretty new to yale ???? like probably just transferred in/started this spring semester rather than being here for the entire year/a prolonged amount of time so most of our plots will likely have to be newer/center on him first showing up OR we can establish their connections from pre-europe which is also fine w me....idk i didnt rlly think this timeline through so let’s just plot and see what happens aghbfjnd anyways i included some connection ideas to help us all just in case

wanted connections

i’d say he’s the honorary dealer of the elites aghbdfjn so literally anyone who needs a plug could be a potential connection. we can obviously tweak this and customize it to each character <3

maybe someone who met grayson in europe. they could have travelled together for an extended period of time or even just a brief encounter. he was over there for four years, so the possibilities are endless. 

building off the last one, this same connection could work with a romantic interest. maybe they were romantically involved for a time in europe and fell out of touch or maybe grayson/your muse just left in the middle of the night and they never saw each other again until now and maybe there’s some unresolved feelings/one-sided longing or need for closure. it could also be that they just hooked up whenever this person was in the area and that was that, no strings attached. 

maybe someone who genuinely believes that grayson is actually sober and really admires his strength and idk maybe they’re struggling w their own issues and seek advice from him or maybe they just make it harder for him to actually do his thing bc they’re constantly around and it’s not like they can catch him strung out and acting up 

someone in the literature department or with a background in english or writing. someone he could read poetry to, or share his favorite lines with. someone who’s taken the same professors and can tell him who to watch out for or what to expect. idk i just want him to have someone to share his passions with. maybe a little crush is forming? maybe they’re just friends who share a love of fiction? idk i’m open to literally anything 

he’s sort of a motivational speaker now bc he advocates for rehabilitation resources and stuff so like maybe ur muse saw him give a presentation or participate in some kind of seminar and they called bullshit on him after the show bc they were like,,, bro i literally saw u partying w max and avery last weekend what the fuck are u on about and now they could potentially hold that blackmail over his head hehe......

exes plots are always fun we love angst in this house 

fuck it let’s bring another family member BHJFNGKM no but grayson rlly is a nurturing guy and like....definitely develops unhealthy attachments to cope w his loss of family so he’d love all the sibling-like bonds he can get to kinda numb the pain of “””””losing””””” violet 

if none of these interest you i’m literally so down for anything pls just let me know and i’m happy to brainstorm always <333333 

thank u for reading this....smooch . 

#anyways this is just under 1900 words whoops #stream of consciousness wins again #intro #literally dont even have my tags sorted yet dont talk to me .

[ofdasoms]

     ┅ ☆ ★ ✮ ∟ ‖ park sooyoung (joy). 22. cisfemale. she/her. ‖ — ripped black tights, poker face permantely on show, always playing with fire. 」did you hear that JANG ‘DAISY’ DA-SOM is planning on attending the next race ?! i won’t lie, i’m pretty excited to see their MIDNIGHT PURPLE 2014 CHEVROLET CAMARO SS in person. i know people say they’re really COMPETITIVE, HARD-WORKING & ENDEARING, but don’t you think they come off way too IMPULSIVE , SINGLE-MINDED & HOT-HEADED ? i hear they’re always blasting THROW A FIT by TINASHE ? oh well, they’re a member of the HELLCATS so i guess i shouldn’t complain.

ok so,,,, dasom is the perfect example of not judging a book by its cover,, bc she looks sweet as hell and can sometimes look innocent, but shes far from it sdkfgjh

her family life was pretty great growing up. both of her parents were teachers and her older brother and sister were pretty much the angels of the family,, and dasom was always looked down upon. she wasn’t as smart as them, and she certainly wasn’t as friendly as them either.

her parents knew she was a problem ever since she was younger --- she was five years old when she had been sent home four times in one week for hitting someone or for losing her temper, and it ultimately resulted in her having to transfer schools.. something that happened all the way up into high school

she was fifteen when she was expelled from her fourth high school, and having attended and been kicked out of all the nearby schools, dasom was sent off to boarding school. her parents were truly hoping that it would straighten her out and that she’d stop being a brat,,, but it truly didn’t work. the only reason she hadn’t been kicked out was the fact her parents were paying a whoooole lot of money to keep her there.

nevertheless, she graduated early at seventeen and left with a diploma and a boyfriend. he was the one to show her this whole new life,, and the one who introduced her to drugs and using sex to get whatever the hell she wanted. he didn’t stick around for long considering dasom was trash and cheated on him once she realised she was also hella into girls. though he didn’t know that at the time -- the only reason he split up with her was because he caught her talking to some guy on a sugar daddy website,,,,, bc yes dasom is tHAT type of girl

she loves luxury, she loves money,,, and she’s always needed someone to help and supply that for her. (wc??? maybe idk)

it wasn’t until that she was introduced and discovered more about the hellcats that she started becoming more independent. she started realising how powerful she could be --- and not through just using her body. she started using her brain more, started being more strategic.. and started loving being deceptive eVEN MORE

oKAY SO she’s now a drug dealer and dancer for the hellcats bc she still likes that thrill of having all the eyes on her but she ultimately likes doing business more than anything

on top of being a dealer,, and a decent one at that, she’s a pretty good pickpocket!! so like,,,, pls watch ur wallet, phone and watches around her,, bc she has no morals

speaking of having no morals,, she’s v competitive and loves the rivalry between gangs, but like get a good few drinks in her and sHE will open up to anybody!! she’s prob slept with a few kings members on few occasions, but u bet ur ass she’s most likely going to ignore them or really not remember who they are

massive flirt,,, which i mentioned all ready. she will 100% drop a cringy ‘is that right, oppa?’ to get what she wants as usual ASDJFHHJDS

only rlly cares about herself unless ur on her good side

will fight ANYBOD Y even tho shes only 120lbs,, like if ur 6′4′’ and been boxing for years??? shes still ready to throw hands

if something happens to her car??? you know she’s just going to beg somebody to help her fix it

but ultimately shes just got a big heart for those she loves and cares about bc she needs that human interaction considering how many people shes fucked over in the past asdkfgjhedf

for being a bAD BITCH,,, shes hella emotional so ya good luck with that

smol wanted connections suggestions??:

people she can tolerate?? so like people from hellcats who shes like ‘uh ur cool ig’

give me that good friend(s) of hers?? she prob considers them a best friend bc she aint got much and no fam to love except for the gang so,,, ya

she hates a whole lot of people too so that could either be from the hellcats or kings idk

ur typical fwb plot,, and again,,,, no morals daisy over here will sleep with anybody from hellcats or even kings,,

she’s a dancer so??? has she caught ur muses eye before and we can bounce from that??

anybody she deals to

has she gotten in trouble with ur muse before?? has she pickpocketed them and gotten caught??

she hates a lot of people, but surely people hate her guts too so give me that relationship!!!

idk,,,, i’ll prob make a better wc page in the future but thats all i can think of for now!!! pls feel free to message me and im v excited to write with yall 💖

#tempointro #I'LL BE YOUR EVERYTHING ( MUSINGS !! )

[yoolee]

If Lee wrote otome #8 | Interstellar Shoestring Budget

PREMISE:

Top Secret and yet also chronically underfunded, understaffed, misunderstood government office focused on extraterrestrial affairs - primarily, keeping their presence a secret, helping stranded extraterrestrials integrate into Earth society, processing planned visits, occasionally preventing mass invasions - with a basically nonexistent budget, since the people making the decision on where to allocate money can’t know the truth. This means cobbling together disguises with the help of a local community theatre department or high school art program, macguyvering weapons together from duct tape, staplers and tech that’s 20 years out of date, and relying on an unpaid (extraterrestrial) intern to handle social media updates and PR.  3D prints most of their supplies. TAKES PLACE IN LAS VEGAS probably. Where else would you hide the fantastical?

Potentially fatal extraterrestrial parasite found? Let’s hope roach killer spray works on it. I think there’s some under the break room kitchen sink.

Large scale invasion by the Truorans imminent? We avoided the last one with Tweeter - do they have Tweeter? Do we know anyone who can communicate in Truoran? No - let’s try emojis then, I guess.

Newly stranded alien has blue scales and six eyes? Welcome to Earth - here’s a mepipe contouring video and some concealer, good luck.

Zero mind-control memory wipe devices - unless they can convince an alien with those abilities to do it, they pretty much have to rely on chicanery, natural skeptical instincts, and bribery (as a last resort, because, budget).

(side note - super tempted to say it’s old enough to have been ‘Ye Olde Extraterrestrial-Earth Transfer Support’ but over time the ‘olde’ and ‘support’ got dropped so now it’s just YEET)

HEROINE

Bad at delegating - takes on too much too often (usually because she’s so used to not having budget to hire more people to do it). Somewhat high-strung. Prone to trying every new ‘this will change your life’ trend out there but never makes it more than a month or two before falling back on bad habits. Excellent cook, often of very, very weird combinations in hopes of landing on the right mix for some of her clients (even though many of them find the practice of coming together as a group to independently ingest energy sources bizarre). Staunch believer in trying for peace first - just because we can’t communicate doesn’t mean we don’t have common ground, and just because something is unexplained or unfamiliar doesn’t mean it’s dangerous. Too tired to be scared of anything, which is good, because sometimes the existential questioning of her reality and the world beyond it can be derailing. Went straight into the military after high school, which is how she ended up learning about extraterrestrial outreach. Still keeps a lot of service habits. Currently trying to wean off of caffeine (it’s not going well). Has no social life because she is always on call for work. Angry and hurting about the cruelty of the world--not just hers, but universally--but tries to ignore the anger in favor of doing small things to make it better.

Love Interests

Alien 1: Alien who integrated into Earth six-seven years ago when heroine was first being assigned to the department. Has some serious telepathic ability, which allows them to conveniently convince anyone looking at them that they’re seeing a regular, normal human being, instead of what they actually are (basically energy-based, rather than having a solid manifest form). Unfortunately, they also kind of uses it willynilly to ‘convince’ people of over things, because they don’t believe in subscribing to human ethical codes except when convenient, which makes them a teensy bit untrustworthy. Generally seems content (even happy) to be on Earth, making a significant effort to establish a long-term life. Occasionally acts as a consultant to the department since their ability makes them generally able to communicate with most species, so long as they produce rational thoughts on a similar level, but refuses to help for free, dealing instead in favors (doesn’t need money since they can just convince people to fork over twenty bucks or food for free or whatever they need). Super shady about their backstory. Does not deal in absolutes - their perception of reality is somewhat more multi-tiered and probability-based. Originally from a species with collective thought/memory - something they were shut out of shortly after arriving on Earth, without explanation. Semi-dealing with the trauma of that, and waffles between being elated with their independence, and feeling a profound sense of loss and severance. 

The Techie: “I have a computer science engineering degree from MIT and I took this lousy-paying government job because I thought I’d get to hack into alien spaceships but instead I’m basically the Help Desk for Earth-integrating aliens.” Eternally despairs over the incompatibility of Earth tech and extraterrestrial tech - though they’ve managed to make a few basic communication consoles work retroactively and never give up on writing some kind of code or program that will ‘click’. Teensy bit of a mad scientist when it comes to dismantling alien stuff to try and figure out how it works. Perennial smarta--. Knows how critical they are and milks it - basically constantly threatens to leave and go work for Fwoogle (particularly when called upon to do something like unjam the printer). Generally has to be bribed to participate, but more reliable than they pretend. Sociable nerd. Constantly dealing with parents who are disappointed because they expected them to be an Aluminum Valley billionaire by now. Builds apps that provide helpful tips for integrating aliens, and programs the 3D printer to print out disguise pieces.

Actually does quit to go work for Fwoogle or a startup in their own route to avoid coworker issue - except they get sucked back in to at least helping due to some major trouble.

The oh shoot we ended up in space for the final act route - and not only did we end up in space, but we are stranded on a ship that uses totally different tech than ours?

Alien 2: SUPER UNHAPPY about being stuck in this backwater solar system, with such a horrible, rude, unpleasant, backwards-thinking, awful-acting dominant species. May or may not be plotting to wipe them all off the face of the planet. Very volatile (in a literal sense - their surface tends to react explosively with Earth’s atmosphere), though they are trying hard to control it because that’s potentially fatal. From a very aggressive species that has a narrative of peace-through-conquest - but their last mission to do so, there was a catastrophic failure, and that’s the last Alien 2 knows. 

Private Industry/Casino Owner (Alien 3): From a shapeshifting species that is essentially adaptive - becoming more and more like their surroundings as time goes on, which means they have super easily integrated into Earth society. Unfortunately, they arrived on Earth back when the Mafia was running Vegas, so, those are the behaviors that are integrated first. Generous but violent. Persuasive, arrogant, has a strict moral code that is a mix of alien and Earthling. Genteel but vicious. Literal embodiment of what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger due to adaptive abilities. Has amassed enough of a fortune through running a (super shady) Vegas casino that they have opened their own charity to support extraterrestrials on earth. Frequently tries to hire MC to run it (look at all the resources you could have) but she considers it a conflict of interest (she’s more afraid they will entice away Techie). Has every intention of making Earth an interstellar destination for extraterrestrial tourists - regardless of what Earth’s governments think of it.

Space Pirate (Alien 4): There has to be one, okay? Child of a union between a generally terrifying species and one that inadvertently created them in a last-ditch effort to halt the conquest of their planet, which did not make for a great childhood as they were somewhat disdained by one parent’s species and feared by just about everyone else. Because of this, they have a very strong dislike/distrust of organized groups (governments in particular) but (deep down) they still believe in individuals, as they’ve found several of their life who have become friends or family (or crew). Fiercely loyal to their own. Likes Earth because as an unintegrated planet, they can come and go without scrutiny (except for one measly office that sometimes harangues them). Operates in a very gray morality - stealing is okay, killing in self-defense (even proactively) is okay, doing what you have to survive is okay (though they try to be one to make that decision before their crew), but some things just aren’t. Values independence and freedom over all else. Does not get along with Alien 1 at all because of the collective-thought aspect.

Conspiracy Theory TV Producer: coming soon maybe idk

Supporting Cast:

Various clients:

Doesn’t experience time in a linear fashion which makes them super hard to keep track of.

Myth bases - various types of dragons, mermaids, selkies, etc

A neon-based organism that is colorless and a low-energy loner, and returning them to their home would require a massive amount of voltage, which when applied totally alters them.

A sodium-based organism to whom water is toxic, making it a massive time crunch to get them to a desert location

A mercury-based parasitic organism that has found it can ‘merge’ with humans as their skin absorbs it, giving them a mobile vessel that blends in, except ultimately their toxicity kills their host and they have to find another.

Starkillers! Check it out. Iron-based organisms born from the death of massive stars (creating iron takes more energy than is released by the fusion, so stars that make iron essentially cannibalize themselves) - they are subsequently feared by default by most species that recognize the power inherent to stars. They consume other entities in search of the greater energy they once had. Consuming carbon-oxygen based entities stabilizes them into steel-based organisms.

Various visitors who they haven’t figured out how best to communicate with but they’re trying!

Fire cat:  An alien lifeform that seems to be a physical, tangible manifestation of heat. It followed heroine home from work and refuses to leave. Since it likes to cuddle and has taken the shape of an Earth cat (...except for the fact it glows like a hot coal), heroine doesn’t really ask too many questions (Even though sometimes, out of the corner of her eye, she swears she sees some massive, fiery shape). She’s still not sure what it eats but it seems content. It’s even started purring on occasion. It will absolutely scorch her fingers if she pets it when it’s not in the mood, though. She keeps telling it she’s a dog person and it keeps giving her a perfect Judgey Not-Actually-A-Cat stare.

Author Roomie: Former frustrated wild child who has (sort of) settled down - with a vengeance. Only leaves the house when they have to - which, given modern conveniences, means almost never - or when they finish a book, at which point they disappear for a few days and MC never knows where they go. They actually hired one of MC’s extraterrestrial clients to act as them for book signings and the like. Was raised by their ‘aunt’ *coughcough*my ode to Aunt Beast*coughcough* who was, in fact, an extraterrestrial, which is how they know about all this. Super helpful in coming up with cover stories. Incredibly laid back about life, incredibly NOT laid back about their book plots - tends to bite MC’s head off (figuratively) around deadline time or when stuck on a particularly tricky chapter. Thoughtful, in the sense that they think things through before answering, clever. Jealous that fire cat loves heroine but won’t sit in author’s lap unless it is SUPER cold outside.

Author’s Editor: Had an absolutely hysterical panic attack when they found out their number one author’s stand-in was not from the planet Earth. Still prone to being hysterical about it if they think about it too much. Chronically weeps over their trouble child client - who is a consistent top ten bestseller, but the definition of exhaustion to work with. Ebbs and flows with author’s mood - when author is laidback, editor is stressed, when author is stressed, editor is the picture of serenity and encouragement. Totally ends up dating ET stand-in even if they have hiccups.

Author’s Aunt:  The sort of being who imparts strength on/in others simply through steadfast grace. Just a profoundly loving presence. Healer in a very literal sense, she can help most species to be well and healthy, but there is not a good way to articulate how. Very, very old and has been on Earth a very, very long time - even before the government started a program to integrate aliens, she was acting as a kind of welcomer/healer/mentor/surrogate family to stranded aliens - and the occasional hurting, angry, frustrated human child, as was the case with Author. Often beats the government to the scenes of crashes. Home is always open to anyone who finds their way there. Heroine sees her appearance differently than the author does - when asked about it, neither can really explain why or how, since AA does not perceive the world visually.

Intern: Snarky college kid who acts like an absolute slacker but it’s all a smokescreen for a pathological need to exceed expectations - they actually work super hard behind the scenes. Primary duties include yelling PHOTOSHOP on forums where people post pictures of extraterrestrials. Always seems to have energy. Acts like they are super grouchy about having to adhere to the overly rigorous NDA but is actually extremely zealous about making the world better and safer for all of its residents.  

#otome #if lee wrote otome #alien otome #aliens #extraterrestrials #extraterrestrial

[goforwardgreenwriter-blog]

The Worm Reads: Kingdom of Ash, Excerpt

I’m sick of The Assassin’s Blade and I just saw the news that SJM released some Kingdom of Ass content, so I’m gonna review the new excerpt just for you guys. Let’s fucking do this, SJM.

The Prince

This is the title to the... prologue of K0A, I assume? It’s sad that I had to pause and think of who this was referring to considering almost every main character in T0G is royalty.

He had been hunting for her since the moment she was taken from him. His mate.

Yay, if it isn’t our beloved Rowboat! /s

Also love how ~his mate~ is supposed to be all dramatic and omg so epic11 but like, it’s such a dumb fucking word to use for romantic partners. “His wife” would work so much better and wouldn’t sound as stupid as his mate.

He barely remembered his own name. And only recalled it because his three companions spoke it while they searched for her across violent and dark seas, through ancient and slumbering forests, over storm-swept mountains already buried in snow.

1. Why can’t he remember his own name? Is he suffering short term memory loss?

2. Who the fuck are his three companions? I assume it’ll be explained in the novel, but if you’re releasing an excerpt for people to read and get hyped to buy the full novel, you can’t leave us confused and unclear. At least just namedrop them or give us some indication as to who they are.

3. Holy dramatic prose, Batman! Yeah yeah I know SJM is trying to show us what lengths Rowboat is going to in an attempt to find his wife fuck you I’m not saying mate but this is so melodramatic and reeks of shitty prose.

He stopped long enough to feed his body and allow his companions a few hours of sleep. Were it not for them, he would have flown off, soared far and wide.

Please do. In fact, soar so far away you never fucking come back.

But he would need the strength of their blades and magic, would need their cunning and wisdom before this was through. Before he faced the dark queen who had torn into his innermost self, stealing his mate long before she had been locked in an iron coffin.

This writing is sooo bad holy fuck, it’s just confusing and choppy. Also, the dark queen is Maeve... how did she supposedly steal Alien before she locked her into the iron coffin? I guess it’s just ~2deep4u~ symbolism or some garbage.

So he stayed with his companions, even as the days passed. Then the weeks. Then months. Still he searched. Still he hunted for her on every dusty and forgotten road.

I hope to god this doesn’t imply a huge time skip between E0S and K0A. The world is trapped in a war rn, you can’t be cutting away from this shit, SJM! A lot can happen in war in a few months especially if a major player such as Alien has vanished from the main roster!

And sometimes, he spoke along the bond between them, sending his soul on the wind to wherever she was held captive, entombed. I will find you.

Remember how in E0S, that “nameless is my price” quote was repeated literally hundreds of times because SJM thinks shoehorning in a quote again and again makes it meaningful? I can already tell it’s gonna be like that for “I will find you” in K0A.

The Princess

Second part of the prologue (???) I find it odd that Alien is The Princess now considering all her ass kissers made it very clear in E0S that they considered her a queen.

The iron smothered her. It had snuffed out the fire in her veins, as surely as if the flames had been doused.

This sentence is redundant, as surely as redundant as a sentence could be.

She could hear the water, even in the iron box, even with the iron mask and chains adorning her like ribbons of silk.

This imagery is very odd. I think SJM wants us to picture how painful and tight her chains are, but ribbons of silk makes me think of very soft and comforting textures. If she’s tied up with silk, her torture surely can’t be that bad!

So in case it isn’t obvious, Alien is still trapped in the iron coffin. Nothing happens in this scene per say, it’s just Alien vomiting up exposition and 2deep4u feelings, so let’s examine what we have.

A sliver of island in the heart of a mist-veiled river, little more than a smooth slab of rock amid the rapids and falls. That’s where they’d put her. Stored her. In a stone temple built for some forgotten god.

So like... what was Maeve’s goal? She just wants Alien to suffer? She’s not trying to torture her for information, use her as hostage or bait for anyone? Is Maeve just going to be a 1 dimensional baddie so we can splooge over how tortured and pained Alien is?

As she would likely be forgotten. It was better than the alternative: to be remembered for her utter failure. If there would be anyone left to remember her. If there would be anyone left at all.

The choppiness of the paragraphs makes me cringe. Doing this once or twice for emphasize is a-okay, it’s one of my favorite writing tools to use, but holy shit not every paragraph!!! Was this book edited?

She would not allow it. That failure. She would not tell them what they wished to know.

So, is them referring to Maeve and her goonies? What is Maeve trying to get out of her? The Wyrdkeys are not brought up at all in this section, so idk what else Maeve would want from Alien?

“But Liv!” I hear you cry. “This is just an excerpt! Surely the final book will hold all the answers!”

Well, my friend my pal my home slice bread slice dawg, for one you have waaaaay too much confidence in SJM. For another, this excerpt was deliberately chosen to serve as a preview for the novel to get readers invested. We should be intrigued by what secrets the books have to offer, not blatantly given shit out of context that makes literally no sense and hurts to read.

She had tried to keep track of the days. But she did not know how long they had kept her in that iron box. How long they had forced her to sleep, lulled into oblivion by the sweet smoke they’d poured in while they traveled here.

I’m side eyeing SJM super hard here. I s2g if K0A starts with a huge ass time skip...

Days, months, years - they bled together, as her own blood often slithered over the stone floor and into the river itself

Also also, if she’s bleeding that much, how the fuck is she not dead? Immortal Fae queen yeah yeah whatever, but the Fae still bleed and can die from blood loss, as Rowboat clearly showed when he was shot in Q0S. Unless Maeve is regularly taking Alien out of her iron coffin to heal her wounds, Alien should be dead by now. This is such bullshit.

A princess who was to live for a thousand years. Longer. That had been her gift. It was now her curse.

That last bit is about us. We’re the ones who have to suffer the no doubt countless sequels that will be written to milk this franchise dry.

She wondered if that goddess of light and flame even cared that she now lay trapped within the iron box - or if the immortal had transferred her attentions to another. To the king who might offer himself in her stead and in yielding his life, spare their world.

Who is this king guy she’s thinking of? Dorito? Can’t be Rowboat, he’s a prince and even if Alien pulled some last minute bullshit by marrying him, that doesn’t make Rowboat a king. He’d still be a prince since Alien is the ruling head of the kingdom.

The gods did not care who paid the debt. So she knew they would not come for her, save her. So she did not bother praying to them.

It’s me. I’m the gods. It’s a metaphor, you see, because I wouldn’t give Alien the dirt off the bottom of my shoe.

Down she would drift, deep into that darkness, into the sea of flame. Down so deep that when the whip cracked, when bone sundered, she sometimes did not feel it. Most times she did.

Ask me if I give a fuck. Also if iron resists magic, how come Alien can reach into her well of magic in the coffin, hmmm? Why doesn’t she shit out a firestorm to escape?

It was during those infinite hours that she would fix her stare on her companion. Not the queen’s hunter, who could draw out pain like a musician coaxing a melody from an instrument. But the massive white wolf, chained by invisible bonds. Forced to witness this.

Massive white wolf? Who is this referring to? Is it... Fenrys? Tbh I forget what happened to him so it may very well be.

A prince of ice and wind. A prince who had been hers, and she his. Long before the bond between their souls became known to them.

Weeks ago I might have been beyond pissed because Dorito was the prince of ice, but now they’re both fuckbois who I would gleefully watch die slow and painful deaths.

The dark queen with a spider’s smile tried to wield it against her.

SJM actually doesn’t know how words work. I cannot call her a writer anymore; she just bashes her forehead against the keyboard and publishes it, claiming it to be fantasy.

Spiders. Don’t. Smile. First fish teeth, and now fucking this???? A snake’s smile or something would’ve been better or anything but fucking “”a spider’s smile”” I’m hsdfaskhfjka

So she told herself the story. The darkness and the flame deep within her whispered it, too, and she sang it back to them. Locked in that coffin hidden on an island within the heart of a river, the princess recited the story, over and over, and let them unleash an eternity of pain upon her body.

I don’t care bye.

This excerpt is shit and suddenly I’m beginning to appreciate TAB. We’ll return to your regularly scheduled programming next time.

#the worm talks #the worm reads: koa #someday ill be using that tag for the whole novel.... may god have mercy on us all #anti sjm #anti koa #anti tog

[wobblegong]

I was going to squee about my space-cat but I just got shotgunned through the Chains of Harrow quest & subsequent orbiter thing so instead I’m going to spew my thoughts everywhere. I have too many emotions about this ok. WARNING: Massive story spoilers (for many quest lines), massive gameplay spoilers, massive worldbuilding spoilers, BASICALLY NOTHING BUT SPOILERS UP IN HERE. You probably don’t want to read this unless 1. you’re caught up on everything including 2. you dgaf and find me nattering about a game you don’t play interesting. (~2200 words.)

I. Gameplay/Mechanics

Chains of Harrow is VERY WELL DONE, jfc. I continue to be impressed by Warframe’s execution. Some previous quests weren’t quite ideal but this one... this one was on point.

(Shout-out to my game dev friend who does totally unrelated stuff and their ANGUISHED GROAN when I asked how they’d do the one bit with moving the audio around in their not-Warframe engine; they stared into Hell as they contemplated it. “But Unreal engine apparently lets you do it just fine.” It’s so fun to be reminded that one engine’s effortless task is another engine’s “the only thing that eclipses the suffering this would require is your hubris”.)

There were spoopy screen effects, not that I’m surprised– already seen plenty of demonstrations of what they can do when I get flashbanged or fade in/out of a menu. One section has you chasing directional audio aka heading towards wherever the sound is coming from. (This was the worst section for me, I had to pause three times to get my panic wrangled.) The talking-heads approach to story, combined with the setting, combined with a few lite-cutscenes & one interactive segment... was actually fucking perfect. I usually feel like the exposition-dumps are somewhat contrived and aggravating, but here I was SOLD.

If I had any criticism, it’d be that the spoopy starts wearing off like 1/3 of the way in and just keeps eroding until the end isn’t spoopy at all. It didn’t feel like a deliberate tone-shift, just that they ran out of jumpscare (which is what the spoopy is 100% made of) and didn’t really replace it with anything. I don’t consider it a drawback though... if it had actually been scary the whole way through I’d be a gibbering jelly. Also everything else going on is so fantastic that I prefer the lack of distraction.

I did laugh when the main combat section goes Ghostbusters: you have to trap a spoopy in a box you toss on the floor, complete with a glowy beam trapping said spoopy. Mild grumble because I wasted a dozen traps before I googled wtf to do in that section (hint: APPLY BULLETS TO BAD THING) but fine, if I hadn’t been accidentally lied to I would probably have tried that first instead of faffing around.

Final “boss” fight was indeed kind of a bear but I was warned beforehand that I was gonna get punched out like forty times so when I only got punched out thrice it was like all my namedays had come at once! HOLY FUCK DON’T DO IT BEFORE YOU’VE DONE THE GARA QUEST THO & GOTTEN AN OPERATOR AMP ON CETUS. This quest predates all that BUT THE AMP IS GOOD. EVEN A BAD AMP IS BETTER THAN NO AMP. So... hot tip, get your little shit a little piece of shit and be thrilled when you can actually kill the boss fight adds in under 12 hours.

Ok no I have one true criticism: BLOOD ISN’T RED WAX, WHY WERE THE BLOODY MESSAGES ON THE WALL THAT COLOR. Actually they were... really 3D... ... ...maybe it WAS wax? Where the fuck did the spooperson get so much red wax for writing creepy messages?

II. Story

So the story is that you get a haunted I mean hecked up transmission, it’s spooky; you go to a fucked-up empty ship and find one Red Veil chick just hanging out with her cat. She says a lot of baffling things and then forty ex-Red-Veil zombies/ghosts/possessed assholes try to murder you, ineptly. Ok maybe they’re less inept if they’re not going in ultra-slow-motion. (My god, I will never stop being happy that Frost Prime was my first frame. So good and useful when I’m going into shit blind.)

You haul RVC (Red Veil Chick) out of there and plunk her ass down in the Steel Meridian camp because I guess the factions like each other enough for casual favors like that. She says some more barely-less-confusing shit and very earnestly (there’d be dewey eyes and heaving bosoms if she wasn’t wearing a full-body-inculding-head suit) begs you to go find some relic. Off you go to another fucked-up empty ship! UNNECESSARILY CREEPY WHISPERS lead you to said relic, which was the thing Rell focused on for soothing because most sensory stimulation was too much for him. Wait, what? And then ASSHOLE MCINVINCIBLE tries to stick his hand up your ass like a puppet and if you’re me you sprint in circles for 30 seconds crying while the NPC frantically tries to get you out.

You go back to RVC and she does a seance. It works. To summarize/paraphrase including story bits revealed further into the quest line, Rell was one of the Tenno who got shunned out of the gaggle even before they all got Tenno’d. Apparently this put him in a position to discover what the fuck is in the Void, at which point he had his meatsack body killed so his mind(/soul/whatever) could be chained to his specific ‘frame, leaving him awake/conscious to keep doorstoppering the badbadnotgood, even while the other Tenno were off snoozing per the Lotus’ plans. A line of RVCs (Red Veil Chicks) were in on this and dedicated themselves to... looking after him, inasmuch as you can look after someone who shoveled themself into a robot that’s been chained up somewhere it’ll never see the light of day. They could talk to him anyways– I guess they were mostly there to keep him from going bonkers and maybe intervene if anything ever went wrong.

Anyways, that’s all fine right up until it isn’t; RVC & the Lotus determine that his transference fucked up and fragmented so you need to go Ghostbusters the creepy phantoms of this guy’s psyche. Collect them all while dodging ASSHOLE MCINVINCIBLE (and a smattering of forgettable mooks– fuck off Infested, I don’t care if it’s your ship) and RVC thanks you/tearfully asks you to take them back to where his ‘frame rests so he can die because THAT’S ENOUGH SUFFERING FOR ONE PERSON THANKS.

Nothing gets to be easy, not even that, so when you find the ‘frame and start snapping its chains it wakes up. RVC has about five seconds to go “thaT’S NOT RELL” while your little shit self scurries behind a pillar before boss fight! Red Veil operatives (except dead or mind controlled or who knows what) try to punch you out while some kind of awful red glowing tear pops in and out to fireball you. But eventually you snap all the chains and yaaaay Rell gets his eternal rest. (I’m not crying, you’re crying.)

III. Meta Story/Worldbuilding

It’s SUCH A THING to me that RVC casually knows what the Tenno are. I mean, ok, makes sense because the RVCs were so involved with Rell, buT LIKE. MAN. NOBODY ELSE KNOWS. THE “KIND OF HAVE A CLUE” PEOPLE STILL DON’T KNOW MORE THAN “IF YOU DISSECT A WARFRAME YOU WILL NOT FIND ANYTHING THAT EXPLAINS WHAT THE TENNO ARE”. Fuck, I think the RVC even dresses down the Lotus over it a la “fuck u, u say they’re ur kids but u suck and u never knew about Rell”.

They completely skate right past RVC setting up shop in the hyper-secret Steel Meridian HQ. “Yeah, no big, me and my ouija board are gonna hang out at the secret base of a completely different faction, which happens to be located like three centimeters from the balls of the genocidal maniacs they defected from. Sorry you keep seeing my kavat in the background of my transmissions.” W h a t . ?

...ok, side thoughts out of the way: OH FUCK OH FUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK THE MAN IN THE WALL

As of this point in Warframe’s existence (out of game I mean) they have done... not the WORST job defining the Void, but of course a lot of it hasn’t been written out. (Both because good storytelling and also because the writers probably haven’t gotten that far. :p) Things we do know:

The ship of people who got stuck in there was (afaik) 100% casualties among all the adults. Fuckers all went feral apparently? But the kids lived. Although they came out weird and dangerous (understatement). People do still go into the Void atm, generally via opening a portal on another planet. People... don’t always come OUT of the Void, although presumably they come back out often enough for the major powers to feel like it’s not a waste of time to ransack that shit. I don’t know where they stuck this lore but iirc there’s some kind of horrible THING in there that basically shoves some kind of hijacking device into you, if it catches you, and then it controls you forever. (IDK if dying gets you out of it or if it can just be like HA HA NICE TRY MEATPUPPET and get you back up. With how this setting is, could go either way.) This is why all the Void tilesets have a variety of mob types: the THING has been hijacking the assortment of factions that wander in. Like I said, people don’t always come back out during those expeditions.

So the first badbadnotgood hint I personally played through was at the end of The War Within (Space Lil’ Shit 2 Electric Boogaloo, Now With More Tremors). It’s blink-and-you’ll-miss-it brief, but while Space Dad is congratulating you, your Operator suddenly stares into the camera, eyes turning into voids, and a creepy voice taunts you, something about “don’t forget what you owe me kid” or the like. It’s a single line, but the way the camera snaps around (complete with some fucking over-the-top visual effects) & Space Dad catches your arm while you shake it off... thaaaaaat’s not a trivial hallucination.

Anyway. Among other things, during the Chains of Harrow the RVC is very fucking explicit about how Rell was grappling with/cockblocking a specific “vast and indifferent” entity that lives in the Void. Offhandedly, The Lotus dismisses this while mentioning that basically all Tenno have mentioned or claimed similar things. (RVC keeps on insisting.) Right before Rell finally dies, he asks who’s gonna take over his job if he stops, and the RVC coos that all the other Tenno will have to help now.

I have been told by one friend– without checking around, so could be wrong, but– that once you’ve finished the Chains of Harrow you’ll periodically get jumpscared on your ship by a creepy asshole who looks identical to your Operator, but has a different (asshole) voice. Said friend randomly turned around once and what looked like their Operator was sitting on their nav console. And taunted them. Said friend sprinted down to the transference pod to make sure their Operator was in the right place– they were– but was pretty freaked out by it.

Obviously, we don’t have much more detail at this point, but uH. This is not painting a rosy picture of the shit lurking out there in the Void. To me this is pointing towards some kind of extradimensional horror that you really don’t want to draw the attention of... and we’ve gone and done that. Possibly even that the Tenno were lucky to scamper away the first time after it got to play with an entire ship of people (some guessing there, but given its asshole moves so far...) and going anywhere near the Void after that was about as wise as standing on a hilltop in a thunderstorm while double-dog-daring Zeus.

I’m so excited to find out how fucked we are.

Given what the orbiter shit involved, the answer is probably very, and also creatively. BALLAS? WHAT?? WHAT?????

IV. Further Thoughts

I really would love to hear the perspectives of autistic folk. That said, I... more or less liked how the Chains of Harrow handled Rell? The quest established that he was very different; the other kids-eventually-Tenno ignored him, while his mother loved him (I’m open to other interpretations but everything I heard pointed to sincerity). He had the intelligence and agency to deal with badbadnotgood, and while the RVC had a certain maternal vibe she was pretty damn reverent when discussing what he’d done/was doing. Also (maybe most importantly in my reckoning) he didn’t get a happy ending, but he succeeded at what he was doing. By this setting’s standards that’s a rosier conclusion than almost anyone else gets.

Now that I’m thinking of it, I’m racking my brains for any parties that have known the truth of the Tenno and been kindly disposed towards them without getting all maternal/paternal. I’m coming up blank. (The fuck is with this setting and everyone treating them like kids btw? All indications are that they stopped aging so they look like young teens, sure, but all indications are ALSO that they’ve lived awhile time, even excluding their cryosleep! I’m willing to believe a certain amount of “their brain maturity stalled along with the rest of their aging so they have the hardware of a 13yo” but that wouldn’t undo living long enough to form a small civilization. SOME parts of teenagers not being like adults are hardware, but a lot of it is pure lack of life experience, which the Tenno have in spades by now. Also, you know, THEY PSYCHICALLY POWER SPACE NINJA ROBOTS, SHOW SOME RESPECT.)

...

And now I’m going to pass out to sweet dreams of tomorrow’s fully-grown space-kitty.

#Wobblegong plays Warframe #aaaAAA EMOTIONS #GOD I LOVE WARFRAME'S WORLDBUILDING

[motherlyra]

Chapter 47: Bus Day

Changed a couple things I originally had because of the cute fanart astrangeroftheworld made for me lol.

Honestly there isn’t much I can say for why this chapter took so long to finish. I probably wouldn’t have continued if I didn’t just get messages saying people were still reading this, so thank you for that! Luckily my new job has some down time in it so I might be able to actually focus on writing a little more often.

Warnings: idk internalized hatred and some exterior hatred as well I suppose.

[Sans Days/Nights]

[Buy me a coffee]

“Woooow, Dings. Way to make it sound like I purposely murdered them.” Sans’ voice soured with irritation. “After all this time you still act like I asked to be born.” He nearly snapped, his earlier mood gone in an instant. He crossed his arms and sat back onto the bench. Sans opened his mouth to say something else, but instead huffed between his teeth and looked down the road. The exchange left you shocked, looking between the two brothers, struggling to comprehend what Gaster meant.

Not wanting to spark a bigger argument, you tried to distract yourself by pulling the bag with Flowey onto your lap. You opened a zipper, trying to think of something to grab but your curiosity quickly got the better of you. “What… happened?” You asked quietly, loosing interest in the opened bag.

“Isn’t it obvious?” Flowey piped up, his leaves wiggling slightly as he turned in the bottle to face you more. He gave a half laugh, eyes shining. “Everyone knows that having three children is committing suicide. Clearly they decided they’d rather die than take care of the kids they already had-” You heard slight crinkling and immediately saw Flowey’s bottle start compressing, and out of the corner of your eye you saw Gaster’s hand clench. You gasped and grabbed Gaster’s hand, stopping him from using any more magic. You looked up and gulped, seeing his orange haloes burrowing into your eyes at your interruption. You quickly averted your vision before you lost yourself again and looked over to Flowey’s water bottle, seeing an orange glow surrounding it. Flowey had his mouth shut tight as he struggled to look down at the bottle with wide eyes.

“Flowey, say you’re sorry.” You quickly instruct, keeping your grip on Gaster’s hand. Flowey’s expression changed to a more neutral one.

“What? Why? They both know it’s true-”

“Flowey, say you are sorry right now.” You ordered, feeling Gaster’s hand tighten just a fraction. The orange light surrounding the bottle brightened ever so slightly, and another kink appeared on the bottle. The slight crackle caught Flowey’s attention once more, making him lose the neutral attitude.

“Fine, fine! I’m sorry!” He panicked, wiggling and failing to get out of the slowly compressing bottle. The orange light didn’t go away, and you looked back at Gaster.

“Gaster.” You made the mistake of looking into his eyes, and became trapped. The burning rings pulled at you, dragging the seconds by like minutes as reality stretched around them. A small voice in the back of your head was screaming to turn away, to blink, anything, but your muscles only relaxed as you stared transfixed at the magical flames and was pulled deeper in-

He blinked, and his eyes lost the magic that was keeping you hostage. You released the breath you didn’t know you were holding, feeling your chest shaking ever so slightly from your racing heartbeat. You stayed frozen where you were, unable to get your thoughts straight, until Gaster’s haloes glanced at the hand you had holding his. You quickly let go and sat up, pulling your hands together on your lap.

“S-sorry.” You stumbled over the small apology. Gaster adjusted himself in his seat, looking rather annoyed with everything in general. The silence dragged the emptiness of where you were out, bringing the lack of morning birdsongs to your attention.

“The weed is mistaken.”

“Sorry?” You startled slightly when Gaster spoke up again.

“They did not commit suicide. I thought I should clarify, since you seem to take everything to heart.” Gaster added, looking down the road as well. “Humans must be quite different with procreation. Is the practice of having more children not as costly for your kind?”

“N… Not really, well… Having kids costs a lot of money, and most families stick to one or two kids, though I know someone that is the youngest of six kids. But they live with their friends now to get out of the crowded house.” You answered, and Gaster’s brow bone elevated ever so slightly.

“Grand… parents? Interesting, though perhaps that would make sense. You live such short lives, perhaps being able to breed without any repercussions was to counter the likelihood of simply going extinct.” He theorized aloud.

“You guys aren’t the same way, I take it.” You half asked, suddenly remembering back when you chatted with Flowey so long ago under the willow, how he told you that monsters only aged when they had kids. He didn’t expand that though, and you guess it never really registered in your head what exactly that meant. Sans sighed, seeming like he would much rather get this conversation over with. He quickly pulled out his phone, tapping on a doodling app.

“When monsters have a kid, the kid takes some of their Soul energy.” Sans started to explain, drawing an upside down heart on the screen with the grey ink. “When they age, more of that energy goes to the kid so they can grow. Because of that, the parents age as well. Real age has no meaning to our Souls or, by extension, our bodies.” He made a smaller upside down heart off to the side, before making it bigger, and shrinking down the original heart. “A hundred year-old monster with a kid would look ages older than a four hundred year-old monster without kids, so our looks aren’t exactly a good judge for ages.”

“But if the kid dies before the parents do, the parents stop losing their magic and... stop aging.” Flowey added in, surprising you. So that’s why Toriel and Asgore looked slightly older than the average monster…

You thought about what they said, starting to understand what Gaster meant by Sans killing their parents. “So… If two monsters have a child and let it age enough to turn into an adult…?”

“They would age, but be overall they would be fine. A single child is not enough to dust two monsters, otherwise we as a species would have died out long ago. At most, two children becoming adults is the usual circumstance of the parents’ dusting, but they likely would survive a few years more depending on the strain on their bodies. Healthy monsters would be able to have two children reach adulthood and have time to be a family for some time before they could no longer keep themselves together.” Gaster said, and you saw him glance towards Sans. “However, if they create a third child… Well, you cannot make something new when you already ran out of supplies, can you?”

“It’s why I’m short.” Sans wasn’t looking at you, but you could see the drawing on his phone had the original heart crossed out, with two hearts next to it, and a single dot under them. “They didn’t have enough magic left for another full monster, let alone enough to give them a decent amount of HOPE.”

Gaster’s frown grew ever so slightly. “You should consider yourself lucky both you and Papyrus survived and managed to grow despite their dusting. They were incredibly powerful monsters, but even that was not enough to keep them from passing.”

“I’m so… so sorry.” You felt bad for making them have the monster’s version of ‘the talk’ with you now. You had no idea monsters having children was such a big deal. Or how magic could transfer from one to another. Or how old monsters could get without it affecting them-  In fact, for living very closely with monsters for the past few weeks and being around them on the surface for the past few months… You had significantly less knowledge than you thought you had about them.

“I never knew them, so it’s not a big deal to me.” Sans said, shrugging and looking down the road again. “It’s him who has any solid memory of a mom or dad. He lived with them for decades; Paps had them for what… six years? I didn’t even get that. It’s what happens to monsters.”

“Still, I’m so sorry I brought it up, I had no idea.” You apologized again, looking at your hands unsure. You glanced at Gaster, and saw him observing you quietly with his mouth in a tight line. His haloes shifted and looked past you, and you turned to see a bus heading in your direction.

“Looks like our ride is almost here,” Sans clicked his phone to the home screen, seeing the time. “A little late, but it’s fine.” He stood up and avoided looking at you. You put the bag down and stood up as well, a heavy feeling in your gut.

“Sans, I-“

“Let’s drop it. We need to get back to the others.” He interrupted, turning around just long enough to zip up the bag and pick it up, so quickly it made Flowey do a little “ooph” sound. You felt Gaster’s hand rest on your shoulders, and you looked up at him.

“Best do what he says.” Gaster hushed, giving you a slight pat before picking up the other bag, and the three of you watched as the bus crossed the road and turned into the small bus stop.

The squeak of the break hurt your ears as the bus finally came to a complete stop, the smell of bad gasoline carrying itself to where you guys were. You let out a small cough, covering your mouth and nose. A few humans scrambled out of the bus, along with a few kids, and a tall woman in a blue outfit held a sign up saying “Follow me!” stepped out behind them. She was wearing a massive smile, though it vanished when she saw you and the brothers.

“Wha- Oh, hello there! There shouldn’t be any tours ending at this time…” It was pretty clear she was confused about your situation, but she tried forcing another smile on her face. You felt a tight hand on your shoulder, but was too focused on trying to come up with a response to the woman.

“We’re locals.” Sans spoke up beside you, voice giving no hint of the distressing conversation you three had moments ago. “Figured we could catch the bus back to town, if it wasn’t too much of a hassle?” He asked, and the woman immediately started nodding.

“Why yes of course! No charge for locals, obviously!” She smiled, and Sans gave a quick nod. The woman looked behind you, seeming like she was concerned about something, but she noticed her tourists were starting to wander and quickly ran after them. “Oh! Please keep together! Follow me now please!”

As the woman walked away you became aware of how tightly Gaster was holding onto your shoulder. You glanced back and had to suppress your jump. Gaster was absolutely seething right now. So much so, you could practically feel the anger radiating from him. …Where those bubbles in his suit?

“Are you okay?” You whispered, snapping Gaster back to reality. His frown lessened and he looked down at you, but he still was looking like he was smelling something unpleasant despite not really having a nose.

“Just peachy.” He uttered, jerking his head towards the bus and pushing you gently. You took the hint and led the skeleton brothers to the doors. The bus driver flipped up his shades to glance at you, slight smile on his face

“Heading to the city?” He asked in a strangely accented voice. You couldn’t place it.

“Yes please.” You replied. He waved a hand at you and you quickly stepped up and moved down the aisles. Gaster and Sans were close behind, following you close to the back. You allowed Gaster the window seat, sitting in the middle while Sans took the inside. Before the three of you even sat down the bus was in motion again, turning and heading towards home.

The bus was fancier than you were used to, it even had a few small tvs on the ceiling. It looked like it was currently on a news show, four humans in suits and dresses sitting around a strangely shaped table talking to each other. The sound wasn’t playing, but you could see the small white words at the bottom of the screen come and go quickly.

Gaster took a loud breath, drawing your attention from the tv. His hands were in fists sitting on his knees, and he was wearing a permanent frown.

“What’s wrong?” You asked. His eyes were focused on the other humans on the bus sitting in front of you, most of them on their phone or reading a book. He glanced at you for a moment, adjusting his shoulders and taking another breath.

“Absolutely nothing.” He half muttered through clenched teeth, not quite selling what he was saying.

“No, something is up. What’s-” You started to ask, but you saw Sans shake his head out of the corner of his eye. You turned to him for an explanation.

“Big G probably isn’t used to the thought of not slaughtering humans,” Sans rolled his eyelights as if what he said was a casual conversation piece. “Isn’t he?” He added sarcastically, leaning forward to look at Gaster.

Gaster’s fingers tapped on his knees rapidly for a moment, jaw adjusting ever so slightly. He looked indecisive on how to respond to that. ”I am sure you would be less comfortable in this situation, had you been raised as I had been.” He said carefully, eyes focusing past you. “Though perhaps I have the right idea about a few of them.” He jerked his chin in the direction he was looking, and you turned to see the news still on the tv. A picture of Mettaton was beside one of the men talking, followed by a heavily pixelated video. 

Two girls looked to be taking a selfie in the streets of downtown at night, laughing and saying something excitedly before turning the camera around, showing Mettaton a bit ahead of them surrounded by fans. There was a flash of light and the camera shook as the crowd reacted to something, followed by another flash. One of the fans collapsed onto the ground, the rest scattered as masked men came out of nowhere, grabbing Mettaton. The rest of the video was a blurry mess as the camera owner seemed to run away from the chaos.  

The camera changed back to the man and the image of Mettaton, white words appearing under him.

[This was the scene of last night, after Metatton’s daily show. Three fans were seriously injured and police have yet to locate where the TV star Mettaton might be located. Please call the number on screen if you know any more information-]

You had your hands pressed to your mouth, shocked at what happened. Sans didn’t give you the details- he might not have known himself, but you didn’t know it happened right off of the street. Sans shook his head and clenched a fist.

“I… don’t know what we can do,” he looked at you. “We know it was HP, but the weed wrecked the only bar that publicly supported HP members.” Sans glared at Flowey, who looked away.

“You think it’s revenge for wrecking that guy’s face?” You asked, painful memories sparking back to life of an alternate universe where you and Sans died at the anger of the leader.

“He’s probably using that as an excuse, yeah.” Sans thought a bit before mumbling. “Even if we find where Metatton is, it’s not like we can march in there and ask him nicely to be released. There isn’t any way for this to go down without dust being spilled…”

“We’ll figure something out.” You said, but you weren’t entirely sure if you believed yourself.

.

The bus ride was long, though eventually you found yourself being shaken awake.

“Our stop.” Sans whispered, gently shaking you off his shoulder. You quickly sit up and grab one of the bags, following Sans off of the bus. Before you even had the chance to look around to see where you were, long bony arms wrapped around you and lifted you up, squeezing tightly.

“HUMAN!!!” Papyrus yelled as he spun around, effectively making you quite dizzy.

“Papyrus!” You tried to imitate his volume, letting yourself be a ragdoll in his arms until he set you down. You took a moment to keep your balance, and looked him over. “How are you doing buddy?” You asked, seeing he was wearing casual clothes, rather than his battle armor.

“Physically I am doing quite well. Emotionally I am very much scared for Mettaton’s life. So you know. That.” He awkwardly said, not entirely sure what else he was supposed to say in this kind of situation. You nod, relieved that he was still Papyrus even with all of the stress, if a bit more sobering. “Who is your new friend?”

You turned to see who Papyrus was referring to, seeing Gaster. Gaster’s mouth opened slightly, and a hint of disappointment made its way to his eyes. “Just… a friend.” He said quietly, keeping his distance from everyone.

“Well all help is appreciated,” Alphy’s voice startled you, and you saw her and Undyne close to the bus stop as well. “We’ve been looking for leads all morning, but we think we might have just found one.” She was nerviously knotting her hands together, as usual.

“Yeah? What is it?” Sans asked, interested in why they didn’t update him sooner.

“Probably best if you see it yourself.” Undyne said, motioning everyone down the sidewalk. The six of you walked for awhile, and you recognized you were pretty close to home. In fact, you guys were heading in that direction.

After a little while of walking, you saw why.

Your apartment was absolutely trashed.

#sans days #sans x reader #gaster #self insert #reader insert #I cant believe I finally got another chapter out #I hope you enjoy #please let me know if there are any flaws #and what you think of it! #the next chapters are gonna be tough lol

[sightofsea]

this is rly dumb and there is the HUGE chance im going to regret this but ok

basically when i was 15 i wrote an approx. 200k OC doctor who fanfiction featuring a kind of half self insert/half attempt to subvert mary sue comapnion stereotypes named jenna quigley. and ive been thinking about it more lately like the general storyline bc like. idk. n i figured i should write it out.

i should mention this is all 11th doctor era bc i was a huge fan at that time, and it takes place between that time he leaves amy n rory to when he does his farewell tour bc i wanted to try n add some canonical irony that ill get to later

so basically its all narrated from jenna pov as kind of stories she’s telling to the tardis database via recording. why, we don’t know yet. she;s. ok so in the plot she was from our universe n was an AVID fan of the show which like tacky i know but whatever. she starts out 15 and in basically my house and neighborhood (this fic started from a constant daydream i would have of going on adventures w the doctor bc i was a nerdy 15 yo so like. sue me) and there have been a disturbing amount of disappearances in the surrounding area that local police are stuck on. so everyones kinda afraid to go out into their own homes and at one point, jenna is doing something out in her backyard and actually witnesses one of the abductions, but is surprised to see the kidnapper looks like the silence, aka the television show shes been watching. she thinks shes going bonkers. her family leave her alone for the day to go to a thing for one of her siblings and she’s just kind of ruminating on this event when--lo and behold, an officer arrives at her door.

and jenna, she’s very skeptical about this guy. like, given recent events she doesnt trust her own eyes. and the guy is...off. like his badge n credentials, if she concentrates, looks like something else for a flash of a second, and for some reason the figure of him is kind of hazy whenever jenna tries to look directly at him. he is shown to have a quirky, friendly demeanor n jenna figures well, i gotta tell someone about what ive seen, so she invites him in. they have a brief chat n its obvious to the reader that this guy is someone VERY familiar (mostly due to my bad writing at the time) and jenna begins to explain what she saw and how its like this one show she watches, and this guy suddenly becomes very very interested in this before realizing he’s got it all pieced together and asks for jenna’s help in navigating the area to find what is, ultimately, a silence space ship.

jenna agrees and over time realizes this guy is most definitely connected to something in the whoniverse and originally believes he might be a time agent bc that seems more likely given their number as they travel to the ship. its also revealed that the officer has brought jenna along bc the key thing about what she saw is that she actually remembers the silence and can see past perception filters due to the qualities of alternate universe, slightly alternate brain chemistry and so on. its not exactly perfect--she can’t get through perception filters rly, especially good ones--but its enough to know something is wrong n remember certain things others from the dw universe might not be able to like the actual silence aliens themselves.

anyway they make their way to the ship, which has come through a massive tear in reality that the officer came through. in the fic lore i guess tears are seen as usually benign things meant to leak ideas of universes into other universes as a kind of waste disposal system, and as a side effect create inspiration in those who are close to them. this tear, though, became too big, kind of like a leaky pipe, and actual material was able to get through by keeping a frequency from both ends of the tear as a kind of safety rope. and to maintain their energy as a stranded ship the silence have been using humans as batteries. i put a lot of thought into this, i know.

SO once theyre in the ship the “”officer”” (we know who he is by now lets just face it) and jenna are captured n separated. jenna is held hostage and it is revealed she is a part of a second half of the “silence will fall when the question is asked” prophecy which goes “the unexpected shall follow the guided task” (i loved rhymes) which is further revealed to the be the following: change the timeline and destroy the doctor. and jenna, being jenna, is like “listen u guys i dont even know the guy so uh failed step one i guess”. she’s saved by the “”officer”” in the nick of time through work of faulty electrical work (like? i know its for style but the silence have all those lights on the floor n it is VERY dangerous) so the whole ship is blacked out n she hears the differently pitched speech patterns (”why do u sound all different” “they took my equipment nevermind lets go”) and after doing some work to reverse the frequency and basically make the ship implode back into its original universe they run back to jenna’s home in the dark, seeing as she was out for quite a bit. her family is conveniently not home yet n decided to hang out with some friends. and when she gets back n is finally in the light SURPRISE!!! turns out the officer was the doctor all along in disguise from the silence using a perception filter. 15 year old me was a literary genius.

n u might think hannah this is rly long is it done now and of course it isnt!! that was just the intro!! after the initial shock jenna kind of parses what era the doctor is from, which is pre-silencio but after finding out about it n in that 200 yr stretch that was never rly shown. and jenna’s like, a whole season ahead of him basically and knows all this stuff and is trying to engage with this guy she’s a huge fan of without like accidentally spilling the beans on his future. she sits him down to explain the whole tv show thing n lets him watch an episode while she goes to her room to pack like clothes n her laptop because its not every day the doctor just flies in and she’s 15 so shes like hellz yeah im gonna be a COMPANION not even THINKING of the consequences in terms of the multiverse, the prophecy and her family (she does leave a note but its self centered n kinda lame tbh just like be back whenever). afterwards she walks the doctor back to the tardis and is like so where we gonna go n the doctor looks at her like jenna you are a literal child im not taking you anywhere and jenna though some MASTERY of writing that was basically hey look over there! and doing it anyway sneaks into the tardis when the doctor isnt looking n becomes his stowaway.

for the next few weeks she just kind of chills in the tardis with this fear that the doctor will immediately bring her back home so might as well have fun and kinda sneaks around him and keeps couch hopping from room to room. the tardis does not like her one bit due to the whole different universe funky energies thing (and this was pre-clara and i really wanted to see a companion the tardis didnt like so) and has multiple conversations with it via the interface hologram which meant i could write cameos for classic companions and write the tardis as a character bc i was a nerd.

SO after weeks of casually avoiding the doctor eventually she gets caught by him and hes not happy about it so shes like well ok then send me home n then she gets the real kicker which is the tears all mended up. after the material was put back in place it went back to being benign n too small for anything to travel between. so jenna basically stuck in this foreign universe with a very slim chance of returning back to her old life and her family and friends and she mistakes the doctors anger at the situation for anger at her so shes like basically im all alone here oh god n has a crisis n has a dramatic run off into the bowels of the tardis hallways

eventually the doctor finds her and they bond over being kind of the last of their kind in a way and he takes a kind of fatherly role and is like well youre already here and im miserable on my own so why dont we two birds one stone it n just go on adventures for the time being and takes a kind of fatherly platonic role with jenna bc i was sick of seeing companions hook up with the doctor and was confused as to why they wanted to hook up with him (spoiler alert: huge lesbian)

so they set off on their adventures. the first one was about the doctor and jenna accidentally boarding a ship of genetically engineered soldiers called evos being shipped off to a galactic war and finding out some of them had rebelled and had been camping out in the ships underbelly. they had no mouths but were able to communicate via sign language n empath touch powers of transferable memories. the captain was a bitch who didnt see the evos as living things n eventually in a stand off either offered them a chance for the other, still podded evos to live and for them all to live a horrible life or have the podded evos be ejected into space in return for them to have a chance to fight for their freedom. the choice ended up coming down to jenna, somehow, i think, and she chose freedom and cost the lives of like 200 evos but were able to get the ones they were able to save (about, like, 100 i think) to safety and create their own civilization away from harm on a distant planet and their success and triumph to live their own lives i guess canceled out the fact that jenna played a part in the deaths of 200 beings. it was. i dont even know 

the next “episode” after a brief interlude of less impactful adventures and discussing mortality was a sherlock crossover episode that im too embarrassed to go into detail about but did reveal jenna’s newly formed abandonment issues due to her stranded in a strange universe situation and the fact she had a self harm problem that, surprise, mirrored mine. her n the doctor went on some more adventures over the next few months that were mentioned in passing. it should be noted that this first “act” i guess takes place over a solid year

the next episode featured river song bc i was gay for her without knowing it and i had just learned about easter island in history class and i decided to expand on one of the adventures said in passing during the series to kind of root my fic in canon bc i was a smarmy bitch. it involved being perceived as gods and the silence and using the flesh as a means of luring villagers to be used as human batteries and also putting a percetion filter on the ship so what was actually a crater was perceived to be a mountain. through this episode we saw the doctor again facing his own mortality, river sitting jenna down after a series of events pieced together her abandonment issues n harm problem n being like you cant rely on the doctor for this alone trust me i know its fun but when it starts ending it wont be. jenna gets kidnapped again by the silence n is reproduced as flesh to try and steer the doctor n river away from saving the day but overcomes that impulse and eventually pulls herself out of it and helps save things.

this episode also imports an important plot device of misplacement, which i shouldve put in earlier if im honest. the basic idea of it, within the fic lore, was that the universe, multiverse, whatever had to compensate for temporal displacement all the time when choices were made, but when big things that would alter history happened--like a giant supposed mountain blowing up 200 years after it had already blew up--it had a fail safe to transport the object causing the harm to the exact place but in a different time where the event would have less of a temporal impact. theres also an important note here where the doctor doesnt recall jenna being with him on their first adventure together. both are setting up the larger plot.

after the deal with the kidnapping and the flesh and all their adventures the doctor becomes kind of protective of jenna because i mean the dude also has abandonment issues like lets be real. so he kind of tones down the danger in fear of jenna dying or getting hurt. i mean, its been a year and theyve kind of become these friends who snark at each other like a family would and its nice that jenna has this person she can trust because she watched the show and like, knows him and knows his tells and calls him out on his bullshit before he can even get started and feels a kind of responsibility for due to the prophecy she was given and the doctor has someone to talk to and someone he also doesnt have to hide from really because she already knows almost everything. theyve been equally protective of each other--jenna keeping the doctor in the dark about the prophecy about her and keeping mum on the fact that she knows he isnt going to die, and the doctor worrying about jenna’s safety and trying not to screw her up like he has past companions to kind of try to atone for his past mistakes and make it up to this girl whose life he kind of unintentionally ruined. ok honestly idk why im getting in depth but i spent. years on this fic you dont understand

so. after a while jenna just kind of calls the doctor out like come on lets at least go somewhere fun and end up spending christmas eve in new york in the forties and befriend this newly single mother and jenna fakes a REALLY BAD accent to get across that her n the doctor are related n poor to gain sympathy. they do all the things she wants like times square and macy’s, where surprise! she sees amy n rory n their son and just kind of like. guides them away from the doctor like guys. this aint ur guy. and it would fuck EVERYTHING up also hi i know your guys’s entire life story, cute kid, etc. they give jenna some advice dealing w the doctor and she tells them that she’ll try her best to make sure he doesnt like, go self hating n all that bullshit n they part ways. her n the doctor meet up again and throughout this whole first part jenna’s been noticing people following her? with like, these weird orange-y eyes. and she thinks like fuck ok this’ll ruin the adventure, maybe theyll leave but they end up starting to go after her and reveal themselves to be a species called the visicheck

after escaping and dumpster diving because the visicheck hunt based on scent, jenna and the doctor start heading towards the single mother’s place for refuge (she had seen their situation n offered a place to spend christmas eve) and on the cab ride over the doctor explains that the visicheck r these ancestors of the family of blood, and basically are lifeless specks that latch onto living things and possess them until they burn them out and move onto the next one. they consume what is the basic energy a thing needs to exist and be alive, and for different species there’s different levels. lets say a dw universe human is ur basic ten on the scale. because of different circumstances in different universes, jenna is basically a 120 on the scale. like, these things could possess her body and use it for centuries to wreck havoc with the kind of energy she holds. and jenna, thinking about the prophecy of changing the timeline and also not wanting to basically be the living dead is like yeah ok fuck this is bad. 

they find some brief refuge in the single mothers apartment for a time and enjoy a lovely christmas eve dinner but eventually the visicheck catch up to them. the doctor escorts the single mother n her kid into a cab to get as far away as possible while jenna is just supposed to keep holed up in the apartment, but things arent so easy and they end up breaking in. she’s able to hit them over the head with a pan n kind of stave them off for a bit and heads for the roof, but is eventually backed into a circle. knowing the visichek can’t possess something that is dead and not wanting to potentially endanger the universe just to keep her life jenna jumps off the building in a dramatic fashion that i wrote to play with the carol of the bells because i thought it was cool, and you know what? it was. it really was.

and so jenna dies

at least for a bit

she wakes up in the tardis, rly confused because like, she died. like she knows she did. and the doctors not speaking n acting all broody and she finally gets the story out of him that after she died (posted as an anonymous person in the newspaper, i should note, and put in an unnamed grave to keep the whole “written in stone” thing in line) he kind of. went off on his own for a bit before rly hating himself for letting jenna die right in front of him and went back to catch and save her before she landed, therefore altering the events as it happened. and jenna is...not happy about this. like, one bit. because, in a twist of fate, because she is both living and dead the universe must compensate by going to misplacement, but jenna can’t fully complete the misplacement “”process”” i guess until she is in the exact location she is misplaced from, only different time and all, and in this case she’s in the tardis which almost always has its shields up, so she can’t even complete that bit. so, as explained, the universe will start the process over whenever the tardis decides to fly off again, and send jenna to a different time within the tardis’s general vicinity.

basically, she’s gonna be stuck hopping around the doctor’s timeline. like, all of it, until she finally meets up with the right doctor who knows her n has been past this point. which could take years for her. and, mind you, the task she was “assigned” in the prophecy was to change the timeline, and as a result destroy the doctor. so this is basically jenna’s worst nightmare, and she finally spills the beans about the prophecy in a fit of anger before trying to say goodbye and being whisked off

and this is where the angst stuff happens

basically, for the next year or so (when i rewrite in my head its two years, makes more sense) jenna is thrown around one end of the universe to the other, trying to stay out of the way of the doctor’s events while also trying to, you know, survive and eat and drink and sleep. she’s basically a homeless vagabond for most of it, and her abandonment issues and self harming kind of escalate. she begins leading a really lonely life, and grows this kind of love/hate relationship with the doctor where she really hopes to see him again but also grows bitter against him for putting him in this situation. she visits companions before their time with the doctor, like donna, by accident and stumbles through meeting them and trying to just keep going. in her loneliness she starts talking to a version of the doctor in her head, which starts taking more and more of a form to her before its a fully grown kind of hallucination she’s created out of loneliness (which was kind of based off of me being a lonely kid and having pretend conversations with characters to simulate human connection which is. sad. i know. really sad. its a lot). 

for a time jenna is stuck with the doctor and martha during the months leading up to human nature/the family of blood, and inadvertently meets martha and gets a job at the school as a fellow maid through helping martha drag the doctor to the place. she figures its the only stability she’ll have for a while and since she was never shown in the show it isnt rly affecting the most important bits of the timeline, and resolves to stay as far away from john smith as she can and just live out her life until the events of the episodes start happening and she’ll vamoose. she adopts an accent to blend in and when she has free time finds the stashed away tardis, which initially does not recognize jenna as a companion until finding archived recordings from the future bc duh its a time machine, which brings the whole pov thing full circle, and interacts with the interface to get answers about her growing questions about the silence and her situation and learns about a device called the cage, which has been alluded to in previous “episodes” only by name, as a great machine created by the silence that is meant to basically make it so that anything inside of it would be erased for existence, past present and future, using energy form the cracks in the universe. this was still at a point in the actual series where we knew nothing so i just kind of went buckwild.

anyways

jenna ends up having to interact with the tenth doctor as john smith once, and kind of aims all of her bitterness towards her future self at him and realizes that isnt fair, apologizes, and has a cathartic moment of finally moving past a grudge with the wrong version of the doctor. eventually the events of the episodes start happening and she vamooses before getting sent off to god knows where again, yippee

eventually through the next year jenna kind of begins to rly lose hope. like, it’s been a year already, she doesn’t know if she can keep living like this. so she makes a deal with herself to wait out until the end of this second year of time travelling vagabonding before she decides to off herself to save herself and the universe the trouble. 

she keeps going through the motions and actually stumbles upon a future, post-silencio doctor, with rory and amy in tow, and in a fit of like oh my god relief she kind of runs up to him and is like i found you, finally, holy shit n the doctor looks at her like im sorry but i dont...know you? like i genuinely dont know who you are. you might have ur timelines all switched up. and jenna knows this isnt true and freaks out and kind of just is like, theres like fifteen days until the deadline, all hope is lost, gonna just completely self destruct n cuts her hair and stops eating, but on the day of the actual deadline she keeps stalling as she zaps from place to place before finally deciding to end how it should end by jumping off a building n she has this heartfelt convo with this imaginary figure thats kept her company all this time

so she makes the journey up this apartment building in this basically abandoned future...chicago, i think? yeah. and you know, is about to do when whaddaya know, a familiar voice is calling out for her. she thinks its just the hallucination but eventually realizes that its actually the doctor, one that knows her, and they have this really heartfelt hug before she punches him square in the face

after the fact is a lot of secret keeping on jenna’s side. she doesnt want to be a burden and just kind of wants things to eventually get back to normal after a period of just resting finally and lies about her time being thrown around the doctors timeline, telling him it was only a few months instead of two years, and hiding the evidence of her self harm and other forms of self destruction to try and get things back to the way they were. the doctor can see through jenna’s bullshit though and over a month of just kind of chilling in the tardis and getting better she eventually tells him and after being pulled into an adventure with alien bees and a prison break and characters very much based off of the captor brothers from homestuck they kind of find their original rhythm

the next adventure was the one where i stopped writing mostly bc the plot absolutely sucked. it was a beach adventure episode, involving aliens and aliens who were mermaids and being stranded on a remote island. also, at the time i was going through a sexuality crisis and decided jenna was gonna go through it too and made her realize she was gay for one of the alien mermaids and totally made out with her. you can see how the plot was failing a bit, and the only thing i dont regret is the whole mermaid makeout thing really. 

the rest of the series from that point on was supposed to go something like this: jenna has to go back to her old high school, except in the dw universe, and finds out she actually doesn’t exist in this universe??? which is weird. the doctor plays teacher and they live in the prop attic of the school investigating a counselor that literally feeds off of emotions until the students are a husk and die. there was going to be a filler where the doctor and jenna start the doctors farewell tour (it is revealed when they finally find each other at the end of the timeline jumping debacle that the doctor has like two years left until silencio happens, with like a hundred years passing between new york n finding jenna) and the doctors mortality is discussed and jenna begins to wonder what happens to her since she isnt at the event or anything going forward, and begins to worry about the prophecy again.

the finale of jenna’s adventures was supposed to go like this: they end up tackling the silence again, only with the help of the cage, after jenna notices the doctor beginning to forget more and more things about her. they get captured and the silence plan to place the doctor in the cage and eradicate him from existence so that the question to be asked never existed to begin with. i hadnt figured out how yet, but basically jenna would finally click everything together and realize it was her destiny to do this, and even had a better chance since it eradicated her from this universe, and she still had a life in another one and could maybe start over and appreciate her family and friends a bit more, and would pull a switcheroo so that she would be put in the cage and slowly eradicated from existence. from that point the silence ship would kind of go haywire from the power being used by the cage and jenna would drag the incapicitated doctor back to the tardis and saying she has to go record something real quick, and then we dont hear from her again.

last scene would be of the doctor, years and years into the future, during one of his alone periods, sifting through the tardis database and happening upon the archived recording files and listening to them, not remembering exactly but living through these events with a person that was there but also never there to begin with, and the last recording being an actual face recording of jenna saying you know, she doesnt regret a minute of it, go out there and have a nice life and dont feel bad for her before saying goodbye and zapping out of existence.

last “scene” i guess would be a fifteen year old jenna, rather than the 18-19 year old we’ve come to know, waking up the day it all started and realizing she accidentally napped through the whole day when her parents wake her up. it seems apparent she doesn’t remember a thing, but her parents say something offhand that wouldve been a prolific line and she has a sense of deja vu and hints towards her someday maybe remembering but also having a chance to live a life without the trauma of her life lead in the other universe

+

so uh yeah. idk why i decided to write all of this. actually i do i have an essay i have to write but. idk this fic was a huge part of my life for like. a good amount of time and despite its tackiness im actually very proud of it and just wanted to share its story without having anyone ever have the link to it and read it because despite my careful planning i did narrate like a superwholock for most of it and it was REALLY annoyin. but this fic and the character of jenna actually helped me work through a lot of my own bullshit and im still kind of in love with it. and in the years to come actually m*ffat fucking used these plot points like the tardis hating the companion n the doctor forgetting about a companion like years after i wrote this shit but i think i wrapped up the cracks in the universe n silence thing pretty fucking well so uh. petition for fifteen year old me to rewrite the last half of season 6 i guess. anyway its 2 in the morning and i just wrote honest to god a full 5,000 words about my doctor who oc fanfiction so uh. yeah. fuck.

#so dumb