SHUT UP SHUT UP. I'M DRUNKanD HORNY NOW BC OF YOU. calling konig big bear
PLEASE.
HE'D FREAKING LOVE IT. maybe gets into a primal play type beat. anyways. gotta go write a paper but I'm thinking about him
FUCK
i think initially his size is definitely an insecurity for him. It's part of the reason he wasn't able to become a sniper and something that draws people's attention to him simply because he's looms over nearly everyone when he walks into a room.
The first time you call him big is in the field when he saves you from getting your head blown off.
You hardly have the time to react. All you hear is the crack in his voice as he roars out "Sniper!" before he slams into your side and sends you toppling to the ground.
He cups the back of your head in his head before you make contact with the ground.
There's a moment of silence between the pair of you. your own body dwarfed by his that keeps you pinned to the dirt. Panic seeds its way into his mind and he wonders if you hit the ground too hard before a wide grin splits your face in half.
"Thanks big guy."
As time goes on, he’s hardly ever König to you. Its Big guy. Big man. Big fella.
Big. Big. Big.
His size is no longer a point of contention or something whispered about by others in the mess hall when he walks by. It spoken of like praise. Rolling off your tongue in a way that feels far to dirty to be said in public as you bump your hips to his in a joke he isn’t quite sure he understands. But he likes it anyways. He likes you.
That how he became your Big bear.
The first time you said it, he swore he had found nirvanna. Your hands tangled in his hair while riding his cock in the barracks. The poor man had worried about hurting you, but you were quick to put his worries to ease.
“Your perfect.” Your voice trembled in his ear as you mewled against the crook of his neck. “So perfect, my big bear.”
König savors the way you say it. The highest praise ever offered to him.
“My big bear.” you pulled away to look into his eyes and smiled. “That’s you, isn’t it? My big bear?”
König didn’t care if in that moment the entire squadron heard him as he moaned out “yes, yes.” while fucking into you without abandon. All he cared about was the way your cunt fluttered around him as he fucked up into you and the smile on your face when you called him yours. All the soldier could do was snap his hips against yours and nod against your chest while mumbling an endless chant while making you cum. k
“I’m yours. I’m your big bear. Yes, yes, please, please, please. Say it again? Call me your big bear please, please, please. ”
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So a friend and I were playing around and I felt... Inspired. Vigilantes AU 🙌
Co-written with @davestriderisasimp, it's currently only a vague idea but it's so so fun either way!
YAPPING AHEAD, BEWARE !!!
Oh man. This AU was born because my friend made a funky Daniel in a really cool Epiphet Erased AU, and in turn, I made a David that matched. Then they became arch nemeses, kissed, punched each other, and committed so much dang crime!
In David's defense: he commits crime to stop criminals. Criminals like Daniel, and his team of EVIL MINIONS (they're all petty criminals AT BEST they're the cutest, bestest ever, I LOVE THEM)
Her Daniel was genuinely so fun that he was the first and only Daniel I ever even considering making a Danvid with. The OG Danvid has neat vibes, in a Killing Stalking kinda way, but it just wasn't my vibe, y'know? Good for those who like 'em, tho !!
This David is just... so neat. He's like if Davey's original snarky attitude had never been completely overriden by his love for camping. He blackmails Cameron for favors from time to time, but is pretty fond of the guy because he's not exactly a genius evil mastermind. He loves his friend Gwen and his son Max—who may or may not have been "kidnapped" from his home by some red-headed stranger who distracted his parents by setting their car on fire—and has started to care a little for his roommate, CJ.
He started vigilantism when he was just a teenager with some anger issues, man. And now he just got used to it! But hypocrisy just runs through his veins, as he feels super stressed whenever Max decides to sneak out to go after him and help. He wants to beat up strangers too!
Neither Max or David have "offensive" epiphets either: theirs are "Recover" and "Endure", respectively. A healing and a passively defensive power. Gwen's, though? Hers is "Orgasm". It's perfect for sweeping someone off their feet— if you get what I'm saying, HAH
Daniel's epiphet is "Kool Aid", and he uses it so dang well! He's the silliest villain you'll ever meet and I adore every moment he's "on-screen" (aka, whenever we talk about him, HEHEHE). He's the captain of a team of minions—yes, he does call them his minions. It's a very worthy title, I must say—who perform LOTS OF CRIMES together. Most of them are simple robberies, though, and David is incredibly amused by them.
He does, occasionally, fall on one of their traps. And then they laugh at him. Then they take him hostage to make him gawk at their mighty evil lair (they bring him over) and feel pathetically miserable once he sees that his own personal resting hours are nothing compared to the glory of their favorite entertainment (they watch some movies), and so on...
They're so, so, so so silly. I cannot express enough how much I freaking love them.
Also, Max has a bear motif. It just... It just stuck. I love him too (so does David HEHEHE)
As for Jasper...
His epiphet is "smoke", and he disappeared a long, long time ago. That's all I have for now!
Also this WIP, which I will probably never finish. Hehe.
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Junicrane/Starstruck Ramble
I will not be brief, all under the cut
To clear some things right off the bat:
No corpse, no proof with Juniper. Obligatory this is set in a canon where he's alive and adjacent to the agency in some way.
Reggie & Juniper are just gay to me, but I don't mind any interpretation of their sexuality
The games are set in 1967/68 to me (based on a couple bits in game) which is before it was legal to be gay in America at least (1971), which is relevant to how I interpret canon as being somewhat grounded in reality, despite unrealistic elements.
This is just an insane amount of headcanons/elements of and AU all culminated into one post. I will talk about some headcanons like they're just facts because they are established in my head, and it saves me over explaining literally everything, however I will explain some parts a little bit for clarity.
Alright. Actual beginning of the ramble:
Juniper is a character to me who had gotten so lost in his job as an actor and a social presence that in the end his whole life revolved around that 'role'. Because of this, by the time he's put into the situation where he's around the Agency, he basically knows nothing about himself, though he doesn't realise at first. Furthermore, what little identity he had has changed in so many ways. He's no longer a beloved famous actor in the prominence of public light, he's legally dead and he tarnished his career just before he was supposed to die, with the bonus of that making him lose the majority of his estate. From that, he also has horrific facial scarring from the electrical burns from literally having his face fried. I believe a friend of mine made a post about this a while ago (I also think they were the first to think it up also), but, to me, Juniper has a permanent trimmer in his right arm (aka his dominant hand) from the electrical current and it is messing with his nervous system.
All in all, he's not doing great, but he's too proud to admit that he's not doing great, because if anything, what's left of his ego is all he has as a defense since he's deep in unfamiliar water.
Before ending up around the agency (I have multiple interpretations of this, so I'm just going to bring it up generally), he'd never actually seen Reggie, and his only impression of him is a single voicemail, which was his only reference he had to later impersonate him. Juniper probably has very little feelings other than the ones he projects onto him because of Phoenix and that, at the very least, he's physically attracted to Reggie to some degree (that's like the beginning of how everything else would tumble into place in this sort of interpretation at least).
And on Crane's side? His feelings towards Juniper are probably very intense and muddled. On the one hand, he adores musical theatre, and that's his now ex-favourite actor. The thought of just casually being around him blows the bit of fanboy in him away at first because THAT'S the GUY, plus the inklings of a celebrity crush which still poke at him. And then there's the rational side of him, which knows Juniper has committed absolute atrocities on the side of Zoraxis, and hates him for that. Then there's how much Juniper comes off as an asshole at first because he refuses to cooperate with anything the Agency tried to put in place. He finds Juniper endlessly frustrating, and yet he's stuck working with him since, afterall, he's the one who knows the Agency's history with Juniper the best. I imagine him acting a lot like how he does IEYTD 1 around Juniper.
At this point, I'm just describing the pitch for a romcom.
I think the start of their relationship with one another largely started with Juniper trying to wind Crane up. It was a way of getting his attention, and I don't think Juniper knows why he's so dead set on that at first, because I don't think he realises he has a crush on 'this grump' at first. (I think that's actually the fun part about these two, because it's almost like a role reversal of the celebrity crush dynamic. This ex-big name actor has a TERRIBLE crush on an average joe and it is KILLING HIM.) But of course the Agency keeps them together because Juniper is at least conversing with Crane, so it's a start.
Through one way or another, they actually get talking casually, at least mildly at first. It takes Juniper a long time to fully deconstruct the wall he's built, and the thing is, Crane isn't the one trying to deconstruct it, at least at first, because yeah, Juniper realises if he wants Reggie to actually like him in any way, he can't keep winding him up. So they talk. Small talk at first, something rhythmic and almost easy to keep to a script. And over time that turns into actual conversations. Genuine ones in which Reggie rips out the occasional one of his jokes which Juniper is endlessly endeared about. The way he smiles just before he makes them, like he wants to chuckle at what he's about to say before he says it. That's probably when Juniper realised that he does have some vague crush on him, and that it wasn't going away.
This is what kickstarts John I can't-buy-you-things-to-impress-you-so-acts-of-service-it-is Juniper to do little things for him. It mostly starts off as him trying to make Reggie his tea how he likes it. However, the nerve damage in his arm makes that hard, as the weight of the kettle and trying to pour is hard all of a sudden. And he refuses to accept that, so he tries for a very long while. Long enough that Crane would go to investigate what was going on. And when he does see Juniper leaning over a cup with the kettle as he uneasily tries to pour it, and when Crane asks Juniper responds so matter-of-fact that his intention is nothing but genuine. And it catches Reggie off guard because Juniper hadn't done anything like that up to that point, and his very apparent vulnerability is so clearly on show.
It shifts something between them.
From that point on, conversations are longer, more familiar. Both of their attitudes soften, and Reggie makes more jokes. Juniper learns how to better use his left hand while strengthening his right back to a point where it could be used again. Slowly, they're both spending time with one another not because they have to, but just because they can. Little bits at first, not too far outside what they already were doing, but those little bits turned into long bits to a point where the other person's company was genuinely desirable.
As time passes, Juniper probably realises that he doesn't genuinely know much about himself or what hobbies he's into, because he never really had the time when he got big, and his home life in his youth wasn't bad, but it wasn't picturesque. I think Reggie would pick up on it, and absolutely try to introduce him to some things he's into. Some things stick, other things don't (corn husking very much stays Reggie's passion, and John will go with him sometimes because it's him, but it's not something he strongly cares for). Crane introduces him to a lot of music, and it's something that becomes a staple between them, with tracks they listen to more than others (tragically, I know relatively little about 60s music so I couldn't really say what). Occasionally they dance, never anything intense, think slow dancing, but the closeness is nice.
Through all of it, Juniper is battling the worst crush of his life, and he can't stand it, because I think he struggles to read people since he doesn't have anything like a script or a director to refer back to, so he has no idea if Reggie likes him back or if he's just desperate for that to be true. I think because of that any sort of confession between them would be incredibly raw, not only because of the time they live in making it hard for them to be truthful about how they love, but because it's a complete show of Juniper who's worked to be this better person. I don't exactly know how that would go, mainly because I don't have one set version of their dynamic, this post is just a generalisation of main consistent points.
Reggie does like him back, because he's gotten used to Juniper being just this guy, not a figure in the public eye, not a Zoraxis lackey, and not any sort of Agency operative (despite being under their care to some degree). He's someone he genuinely cares for, because they've given one another the time of day to learn one another, and I think because Reggie was a field agent, he was a lot better at reading Juniper than Juniper was at reading him. Eventually Juniper's company becomes something he could see around him for the rest of his life, and I think he accepts that he likes Juniper a lot more gracefully.
I think any affection directed at Juniper would at first be met with him feeling a little muddled. Reggie was a very physically affectionate person when he could be, and sure the initial flirting with one another came with the occasional little touches, but everything now was so deeply intentional. I also don't think Juniper would almost ever get over the novelty of being able to kiss him, or many other gestures, because it made the fact that they were together so very real, and it was great. I do think it comes easier to Reggie, and it's a big way of showing how much he cares, so it's important for Juniper to try and show it back because he knows how much it means to the other.
I like the idea of them eventually living with one another, too. I think Juniper would have always had a quiet little daydream of sorts where he does just live a domestic quiet life, and he can with Reggie (well, as close as they can get between the Agency and Zoraxis always being at odds), and he loves that, and he loves him, and it's immense.
I think they cook for one another a lot, it helps Juniper work on his dexterity in a controlled environment, which means a lot because it's a huge point of insecurity (that and his scars). He does improve, and Crane is proud of that and shows it and it's great. I also think they'd probably cook together too, because they can deal with being in the kitchen together and they work well with one another. It's probably a good way for them to unwind because over time they can do it in relative silence.
As I said before, I also think music is a staple in their household, and that Reggie listens to things on vinyl almost all of the time because he likes the background noise. Sometimes Juniper will catch him chuntering along to the music which he finds endlessly endearing. I wouldn't put it past his dramatic ass to also join in to fluster Reggie, but I also don't think Reggie would mind that terribly because Juniper has listened to the music enough to know the lyrics, and that's huge to him.
I don't think they are without rough patches, no relationship is, but I think the good part about them is that they're willing to talk about it (... eventually). They're used to long conversations, and while they're often less fun conversations, they're needed and they know that, and it works out.
Alright. I think I'm done for now. I haven't mentioned everything, but this definitely got the worst of it out of my system. If you ever want to hear any specific thoughts my ask box is open but other than that, behold my general dynamic for these two which has been festering in my head for years. I think they're great
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