#not even joking.

[evildilf2]

You're not goth only I am get your own thing

I am fascinated by your choice to gatekeep via anonymous message it makes me respect you as some sort of genius or philosopher TBH

#all my little words #NOT EVEN JOKING. #claiming something for yourself while remaining anonymous euhhh is this dialectical [wojaks pointing png]

[grendelsmilf]

I wanna see shiv tear tom to pieces eat his flesh and hold up his decapitated head as a trophy

#o.tv #not even joking.

[seraqhites]

need her to put me in chokehold while slutting me tf out

#rubi rambles ⋆｡𖦹 °✩ #i can’t breathe #like her arms. #need to feel her constrict my airway #not even joking. #feeling all lightheaded and dizzy being dicked tf down. #like sign me up!! #i need that messy rough s*x

[kopivie]

i feel like wriothesley awoke something unspeakably nsfw in me. feminism will crumble up and burn like the shards of a meteor in earth's atmosphere when i speak about this man.

the scars peeking through his clothes? the bandages and the scars underneath those?? THE PIERCINGS???? HIS BUILD??????

clown me all you want for being crazy. do your worst. but i need wriothesley, and i'm not just talking about in my party.

#[ 🌱 — blah blah. ] #because listen #i'm thinking about having his kids. #not even joking. #i will gift that man as many children as he wants. #all he has to do is say the word.

[daily-fengari-things]

Feng and Ven had lint rollers all around the house. Cat hair, especially on clothes and couches and stuff, is so much easier when you can lint roll it. (Trying to vacuum it up is a nightmare.) However, that's not all. They also had them all over because Feng sheds. Like, just leaves hair everywhere like a cat, sheds. Sure, everyone's hair does this, but when your hair is *navy blue* and *very fucking long* it's extremely noticeable. A lint roller just makes other easier to pick up.

#not even joking. #the longer ypur hair gets #yhe more noticeable the shed and trail you leave behind #the more annoying it is to take a shower #its a whole thing #but lint rollers would make clenaing it so much easier #so #┐(ﾟ～ﾟ)┌ #fable smp #fsmp #fengári #c!ven #headcanon time!! #daily fengári things!!

[qi-rong-enjoyer]

ok ok ok because I have no self control and I must combine my current two favorite things right now: tgcf, but witch's heart au. please please please please please.

#I have no idea how this would work except that I know it could #I need help coming up with the logistics but this is something I desperately want #tgcf #because holy shit I fucking love witch's heart it is so good like what the fuck #that game is severely slept on #to those of you who haven't played it/haven't seen it #PLEASE DO TAKE A FUCKING LOOK AT IT because it is QUALITY #I swear to you that it is in fact some GOOD SHIT i PROMMY #although you should definitely check out the content warnings first because there is some pretty heavy shit in there #not even joking. #but please by all means check it the fuck out its so fucking good.

[angelicgarnet]

the way people online talk about autism is getting really weird, like do they know that neurotypicals still have interests? that someone being passionate about a hobby doesn't mean they're autistic? you guys know that right

#woof #like self diagnosis is one thing #but saying someone is autistic because they talk about a specific hobby a lot is weird (and waters down the actual definition of autism) #and its no different than saying someone has ocd bc they organize their books alpabetically #or saying someone has ADHD because they got distracted by something #and people who aren't even autistic are honestly getting way too comfortable with autism jokes

[lazylittledragon]

can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024

#ramble #if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands #you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things #some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible #the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think #i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex #this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!! #how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about #yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian #you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate

[marypsue]

Keep seeing that post where OP starts like 'Thinking about...grieving the undead' and then adds on about like. Real life situations where people have not died but have left your life and you would have reason to grieve them.

All respect, that's an important concept, but that is not what I am thinking about when I read 'grieving the undead'.

#your brother is a vampire. he's sitting across the table from you chatting with your mother about her day #and he's dead and he's gone and he's never coming back. #he laughs the same and he talks the same but his arm is cold when he grabs you in a headlock and your dog won't be in the same room with hi #he'll still hang around watching TV with you and give you wedgies and make stupid jokes #but you can't tell him about the bullies at school anymore because this thing with your brother's face will just find them and kill them. #and not even stupid fucking Jason deserves what the monster in your dead brother's skin would do to him. #your brother is dead and lost and right there in arm's reach and gone forever with no hope of ever getting him back. #i'm sure there are corollaries to be written about like ghosts and zombies but this is the one i'm personally hung up on recently

[calamitys-child]

Adhd will have you too burnt out to eat or shower but give you the hubris to decide you can homebrew an entire d&d system on the back of a receipt

#it has to be dnd for the joke to work as well even though its like my least favourite rpg system of ones ive played

[chaotic-neutral-knitter]

I must not respond to the bad take. Responding to the bad take is the mind-killer. Responding to the bad take is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face the bad take. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past, I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the bad take has gone there will be nothing. Only I (and my good takes) will remain.

#my nonsense #surely someone has made this exact post already #I want to clarify that this isn't even really about anything I just thought of the joke and thus was compelled to make it

[january-summers]

"AO3 doesn't need a "dislike" button"

Um, actually, it already has one. Depending on your specs, it might look a little different but over all it looks kinda like this:

You can find it at the corner of your screen, which corner is dependent on your layout.

Anyway, if you dislike a fic, you can hit this Dislike Button until the fic goes away. It really is pretty amazing actually.

#just blog stuff #ao3 #this is a joke except it isn't #nothing prompted this everything is fine don't even worry about it

[frostedpuffs]

does anyone else hate that work takes up like 90% of your life and you literally are always working and have to form plans and important things and even seeing friends or eating meals around work. it's always just work. im spending my life just being At Work. i don't have time for hobbies or for seeing friends bc it’s always Work. like two days off a week isn't even enough because my days off aren't consecutive so i just spend those days exhausted or doing errands or house chores. there is not enough Time. all the time goes to Work. WHY IS LIFE THIS WAY. humans were not meant for this

#literally so frustrating how im always at this damn job LMAO #working full time is a joke. you spend most of your life at work just to not even be able to make enough money to live #bullshiiiiiityee #text post

[shirkers2018dirsanditan]

all that bimbo girl dinner girl math “i’m too pretty to understand the economy” passenger princess shit is not subversive. it does not make men mad. it is not reclamation. the joke is on you. they are laughing at you, not with you, and the tradition of women who play to men’s most heinous views of women in order to get a bag is long and established. these women are apart of that legacy no matter what idiotic, hyperonline choice feminism spin they try to give it. it is never and never will be progressive to treat women as though we are naturally incompetent and incapable

#even if it was ‘just a joke’ why are ALL your jokes like this #when people do this racially they get rightly branded as uncle toms

[joycrispy]

Zepotha will never be Goncharov because when it comes down to it, tumblr culture is collaborative, while tiktok culture is merely iterative, and those are not the same thing.

#also because tumblr has a very specific way that it interacts with the media it loves #like make no mistake; when we made Goncharov we were a little bit making fun of ourselves #and the way we project high emotion and significance onto even the smallest details #(also the way we want everything to be gay) #tiktok isn’t doing that. they think the joke is the fake movie itself. but the fake movie isn't really the point. #the point is the fake FANDOM #goncharov

[severalowls]

2021: Extremely cartoonish non-threats of violence are a point of pride and meme on tumblr.

2024: The CEO threatens to send the FBI to perform an extrajudicial extradition on "an account" because she mentioned hammers while trans.

#this isnt even a joke post anymore