#none of those are the entirety of what i wrote for each song btw

[thosetwofirefighters]

WIP Wednesday

you've all read the spiel about being late before, nothing new lmao anywayy thanks @the-likesofus for the tag!! finally actually following through with one of these after weeks of ignoring them because I haven't been writing and I am so guilty about it (but like it's fine, totally)

I don't really have anything new to share re: my fake dating fic buuut I did do a little song challenge thing a week or two ago that isn't really a wip, and I only had the amount of time in each song to write so they're rough, but there are some snippets that I want to expand on sooo

This first one I wrote while listening to Praying by Kesha:

He thought they’d been doing okay. They hadn’t seen each other in a while, but they’d talked on the phone every few weeks, and they’d had good conversations, conversations that Buck had thought meant actual progress. But he’d told his parents about Eddie’s will—about his place in their lives and vice versa—and they immediately cracked down on it, tried telling him that he’s immature, that Eddie doesn’t know what he’s doing, that Chris needs specialty care that Buck would never be able to provide, and he wouldn’t listen to it.

and a cute lil fluffy thing based on willow by Taylor Swift:

Eddie kisses him softly, and Buck leans into him, lets the other man support his weight—something they’ve been doing for each other long before now, before dating or marriage. Buck has been leaning on Eddie practically since they met, unable to pull away from him, just slowly letting himself be taken in by the Diazes, both Eddie and Christopher.

aaaand one more to try to ease my guilt for not writing! This one was written while listening to I Cannot H8 U by Eva Grace, set during 5b:

He’s not gone, Buck knows that. But he isn’t here, isn’t where he’s supposed to be. He’s doing what he thinks is best for Chris, and Buck understands that—it’s why he can’t hate him, can’t hate his decision to leave the 118. But he does hate him, to a certain degree—for leaving him.

not tagging anyone specifically since I'm late so anyone who wants to join, feel free!! <3

#none of those are the entirety of what i wrote for each song btw #just my favorite parts of some of them #the willow one is probably my favorite #i'm a sucker for a buckley-diaz wedding fic #(that one is set during their first dance and it is just ugh so precious) #mine #wip #wip wednesday #tag game #911 fox

[nyxocity]

I want commentary on so much of your writing. Loved your response to the beautiful disaster scene. How did you choose the songs for that fic?

Thank you for asking. You’re always welcome to ask more! :D

This story was originally inspired by my playing a shit ton of the original Rock Band on XBox, just fyi. Music is a huge part of my life, and one of the joys of writing Beautiful Disaster was getting to use so many songs to fit the emotional moods. Sometimes I’d think about the scene and look through my music until I found something that resonated, and other times it smacked me in the face and was like, here, you’re using this. For example, I was listening to a 90′s alt station pretty heavily while writing this story, not for any particular reason other than that I was enjoying it, and after a while, as I was writing, the lyrics of certain songs began to sink in as perfect for certain scenes.

Okay so let’s talk about the songs individually:

Cold Contagious; Cold Contagious, lyrics as written and performed by BushI needed a song to set the stage/mood of the relationship between Justin and Jensen and this stood out to me as a good emotional opener. This one didn’t come to me automatically though and took a little time.

Don’t Believe You; The Ubiquitous Mr. Lovegrove, lyrics as written and performed by Dead Can DanceI’ve been a fan of this song since way back in my goth club days. I just love the lyrics, the middle eastern feel of the music. There’s a sense of a long relationship in this song, one that has come to a bitter place. Again, setting the mood for the Justin/Jensen relationship.God of Wine; God of Wine, lyrics as written and performed by Third Eye BlindThird Eye Blind’s debut album is one of my favorite albums of all time, and this song and Motorcycle Drive By are never far from my mind as two of the best, heartbreaking songs I’ve ever heard. I love the lyrics in this song so much: “Sometimes you let me inand I take it on the chin” and “Looking through, I see youSearching for somethingI could never give youAnd there’s someone whounderstands you more than I do”

This song is incredibly EPIC and the level of sadness in it is just… it makes me hurt every time. It’s about the tragic end of a relationship, and not for any other reason other than they’re not right for each other. He wants so badly to be “the one” for the person he’s singing about but he knows he isn’t.

Justin’s song - End, as written and performed by The CureI expand on how I feel about The Cure, and the album this particular song is from, below. This is the final song on the album and it’s just so full of self loathing and despair. “Please stop loving me, I am none of these things”, is Justin’s plea to Jensen. He feels a lot of guilt that Jensen loves him as much as he does, and he definitely doesn’t feel worthy of that love. 

Unpublished lyrics: Forever Earthbound, as written and performed by The RenaissanceThis song, I went looking for lyrics that would work for what Jensen was feeling in that moment. I don’t remember what parameters I used but it took some time. When I stumbled across these lyrics they just locked into place and fit.Vegas concert lyrics: Motorcycle Drive-by, as written and performed by Third Eye BlindAs I noted above, this song is never far from me. Heartbreakingly beautiful and just so full of raw emotion. So much of the music in this story is about the twisted, tangled up, fucked up thing between Justin  and Jensen, because Jensen is writing most of it.

80’s song Jensen passes out to: No One is to Blame, as written and performed by Howard JonesWhen I was writing this part, I was thinking of the movie Waitress, and this is the song that plays as the married main character and Nathan Fillion’s character begin to fall for each other, and that was when, FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER, the lyrics in the song clicked for me. I’d been listening to it since the 80′s and I never got that it was about the guilt and pain of falling in love with someone you couldn’t be with because they were with someone else. And it’s just SO beautiful once you understand it, lines like, “You can feel the punishment but you can’t commit the sin”. So the song was in my mind when I wrote this scene and I felt it fit so well, because that’s exactly what was happening to Jensen.

I’m the One - I’m the One as written and performed by the DescendantsThis was one of those instances where listening to the 90′s alt music stepped in and made the decision for me. I was listening to it and it just clicked in my head and I went that’s it, that’s the song where Jensen is making his frustration with his infatuation with Justin known. And the fact that it’s gender neutral with regard to the person the singer is singing about it just made it all the more perfect.Sick Cycle Carousel - Sick Cycle Carousel as written and performed by LifehouseMy love of Lifehouse is legendary (I may be listening to them right now in fact :D). They have such a way of bringing beauty and soulfulness to their music, in short, they make me FEEL everything they’re trying to convey. Every bit of confusion and sadness and beauty. Sick Cycle Carousel is about not being able to let go of this thing you know is terrible for you, and again, it’s indicative of the relationship between Justin and Jensen. There’s so much passion in it, and it stood out to me as something someone as passionate as Jensen would have written.

Song Jared and Jensen play together - In the Blood as written and performed by Better Than EzraSpeaking of passionate! THIS SONG. OH MAN. Again, it’s 90′s alt, and I hadn’t written it yet, but I was thinking about the scene where Jared and Jensen first perform together, and the lines, “It’s the way you move your hands” and “The passion that you play” hit me SO HARD. It was so perfect. I doubt the writer of the song was talking about someone who played guitar, but the entirety of the song was just completely Jared’s perspective on Jensen at that time. I even had Justin quote back the specific lines that caught my attention initially before I went and dug into the entirety of the lyrics and realized it fit perfectly.Jared’s Song - Lucky Man - Lucky Man as written and performed by The VerveAgain with the 90′s alt. This song was one that struck me as so lonely and sad. It’s basically to me about a guy who’s in love with someone else he knows will never love him back. He’s a lucky man because he feels that love, but it’s also a sad feeling because he’s in it alone. Jared wrote this song about Milo back in the day, and it sums up their relationship to a tee, and how Jared felt about it.From The Edge of the Deep Green Sea - From The Edge of the Deep Green Sea, as written and performed by The CureThe Cure is my favorite band (BTW I love your username for this reason–The Loudest Sound, right?), and oftentimes I have to stop myself from overusing their stuff in my stories. The album this song is from is called Wish, and Wish is one of those albums that coded itself into my DNA. It’s a heartbreaking album and I was going through one of the most heartbreaking times in my life, so even now, when I listen to it I have to be careful because of the emotion it invokes in me. This song in particular is so sad and fucked up that it nearly rips my heart out of my chest (particularly because I was going through something very similar at the time). It about being at the end of a relationship that hasn’t been good for you for a very long time but you just haven’t been able to let it go, and now you’re finally trying but it’s messy and complicated and so very very painful. It summarizes well to me, how Jensen felt at that time. 

When I Can - Mayonaise, as written and performed by the Smashing PumpkinsThis song has always had a special place in my heart since I very first heard it in the 90′s. To me it’s about letting go, finally, even when you don’t want to. Someday you’ll try to understand why this thing went wrong, and when you can, you will. But for now you’re kind of fucked up about it, and you reserve the right to be bitter until you can understand it better. Again, it seemed right for where Jensen was in the story.Spin - Spin, as written and performed by Lifehouse.The first HAPPY song in the entire goddamned story lol Again, my love for Lifehouse is huge, and I was listening to this song when it struck me as being perfect for the story with regard to how Jensen felt about Jared. Everything in Jensen’s life is kind of a mess, but he knows how he feels about Jared, Jared’s just this one true thing that makes sense, and Jensen wants to lock on and follow that, let it lead him into the sunlight as it were. What’s funny is that Jensen writes this very early on in the story, before he even consciously begins to realize his feelings for Jared.

So, the whole thing is sort of this give and take process. Some of it just happens intuitively, and some of it falls into place on its own, and sometimes I have to do a little work before it clicks, but it always does. I’ve always been happy with every song choice I’ve made in a fic, and especially this one.

#beautiful disaster #my stories #my dvd commentary #music #the cure #3eb #ask replies #sidebysideinsilence