#no matter where you go your data is being sold there is no such thing as privacy

[faerociousbeast]

homophobia sucks

#ughhhhhh the world is in so many crises all the time and all i can do is feel really sad #this is so. this is so lame what do we even have left #climates changing medias censoring police murdering technology advertising companies selling #theres no fucking escape and im really really tired #go outside... where. where. where can you go anymore. #the forest behind our backyard isnt a forest anymore its literally like three trees thick #bc they fucking cut half of it down to make new houses #and now all we see from our backyard are those other houses that werent there before #so many people will never see the sky full of stars #animals are going extinct but nothings being done bc theyre not Useful or give Profit #the very same kids you say youre protecting by banning so many things are being shot in the very place you said they were safe #no matter where you go your data is being sold there is no such thing as privacy #there is STILL A FUCKING PANDEMIC #and we are just supposed to. be used to it. immune. desensitized. is that not worse #the idea that ignoring it is all we can do bc caring wont even do shit #bc its bc people who dont care about anything other than themselves made all the decisionsn #and now everythings a fucking shithole #and all i can do about it is get upset in fucking tumblr tags

[on-the-pechka]

On Digital Minimalism

This whole story began when I noticed a phantom power draw on my soul, like there was a fridge plugged in somewhere that I had forgotten about... it was the accounts.

The first e-mail address felt significant, the first club penguin account was exciting, "signing in with Google" to download a png without the fake grey checkerboard was... automatic. Few think anything of their accounts, they sign legally binding agreements and scatter their personal information all over the place without a care in the world. But not me... I care in the world, and I vehemently reject the proposition that pervasiveness negates consequences. That nearly everyone today is caught in a spiderweb of agreements, contracts, and debts, all draining them, all exacting demands on their souls, does not make these things meaningless. The worst possible thing one can do in the midst of this intense spiritual warfare is surrender to apathy and say "screw it, they already know everything, so who cares, I may as well get one of those TVs that has apps on it". Rather one should realize what a tremendous crime has been committed against them, and be complacent no longer.

This is not, however, a treatise on digital privacy. There is no such thing as digital privacy. You will not outsmart the turbo-autists of silicon valley no matter what you do, so you only have privacy outside the digital domain. There isn't really a "virtual world" or "digital domain" to begin with, either. There is only digital communication technology that acts as an extremely efficient medium for real interactions. This is why having a "digital presence" or otherwise heavily participating in the "virtual" is really just oversharing. In order to have privacy, one has to simply not use digital devices, or at least not use them for anything one would not want everyone to know about. Imagine you're in a North Korean state-run internet cafe where the computer randomly takes a screenshot every once in a while and sends it to the supervisor. Now, your digital secrets will obviously not land you in a labour camp, but you will get exposed sooner or later. You cannot pretend to be someone you're not, break the law, or keep secrets in the "digital domain", simply because it does not exist. Using technology intentionally and selectively, and never letting it use you, is the essence of digital minimalism as explained by Cal Newport in his book Digital Minimalism: Choosing a Focused Life in a Noisy World. I do recommend reading this book, but be careful. Newport almost completely turned me off of digital minimalism with his excruciating newyorktimes-esque prose and how he associates digital minimalism with going to cafés, journaling, and all manner of inane faggotry.

The Accounts

An account is two things: a record and a contract. That personal information is harvested, processed, bought, and sold by various bottom-feeding ghouls and vampires should tell you all you need to know about the significance of an account as a record. The truly valuable information is not random, but consists of profiles, and the more data can associated with one person, the more valuable the aggregate of that data becomes. There is also such thing as a credential stuffing attack, one's vulnerability to which is directly proportional to the abundance and availability of their personal information. But there are philosophical reasons for guarding one's information as well as practical ones. Your information is sacred, it is who you are. Not just anyone should know your date of birth, what your dream job was as a child, or where your parents met. When divulging personal information, one is giving away his very being, DNA is nothing more than the most sophisticated data storage system in the universe, after all. Next time you are filling out those fields you are already so accustomed to filling out, ask yourself, do you really trust "Alibaba Group Holding Limited" with a fragment of your soul?

It was not until very recently that I began to appreciate the significance of an account as a contract. I was a prolific pirate in my day. Never paid for a textbook, never looked at an ad, never got a popup. I was unstoppable, and I felt vindicated with every price hike and downgrade paid services suffered. I did not, and still do not, feel any guilt for violating those contracts themselves. I must admit that it does not make logical sense that I am not allowed to violate YouTube's terms of service by blocking ads or torrent a movie that cannot be legally watched except by renting it on Amazon. Violating these contracts is incredibly easy to "morally justify", but one must fulfill his contracts, even with Google, just as one must not steal, even from Amazon. Do not make the mistake now of thinking that I am at all concerned with Google's or Amazon's wellbeing and start lecturing me about how they force their employees to urinate or whatever else they do. I am only concerned with my own immortal soul, and the last thing I need is to give Google, Amazon, or any other depraved corporate entity the right to collect its due from me.

The Cleansing

I have been terminating unnecessary agreements in order to avoid inadvertently violating them, and I have been taking my information back from the world wide spiderweb of manipulation. In other words, I have been deleting my accounts. I have been tracking them all down and taking them out one by one. Some don't give up so easily, some want you to send them an email and wait ten business days, they think that makes it more trouble than it's worth. Not for me. They don't seem to realize that the only person more powerful than the one with nothing to lose is the one with nothing to do... Now I have a list of twenty something accounts that I actually do need, though if I notice that I have not touched a particular account for many months it will be placed on "death row" to have its fate decided later. I feel light and safe.

You may be worried that it is impossible, that there are too many accounts you do not remember and there is no way you can find them all. Do not despair. The ones that matter will come to you on their own, sometimes in the form of visions and dreams; I know this first hand. Many times I have woken up in a cold sweat, knowing exactly what to do, "The twitter account from when I was eleven that I used to follow youtubers on. I was on YIAY twice. Yes. It's still there... I feel it..." There is also no need to delete them all to the last one. You can become born again with a new email address and take with you only what you truly need. If you've forgotten about an account, the data is most likely outdated and useless anyway. Whatever you cannot find with a search engine is probably okay to leave alone and memory-hole. If you have a cast iron pan or some other heavy object to hit yourself on the head with, even better.

#normal

[bakersfield-row]

Am a Windows user, have never used anything but windows, am comfortable with windows.

Convince me to linux. Explain

I’m going to keep this short because I could make this infinitely long.

In a world where you really cannot trust big companies, windows has gotten very self conscious that they could track and sell every piece of data from their customer and add unnecessary features and no one would notice it, even though it actually makes the user experience worse. If you don’t have a key, you probably also have to over a hundred dollars just for some basic amenities, like changing a wallpaper.

Linux, in the other hand, is free and open source software (FOSS), which, in its simplest form, means that all the code is there for you to change and revise. Because of this openness, most Linux distros usually never have features to sell your data, and if they do, someone’s bound to make a patch to have that not happen. This means that Linux is much more safe and secure than windows by a long shot, and you really don’t have to worry about your information being sold to dubious companies.

Linux, with all its FOSS-ness, also allows anyone to make theirs distro look anyway you want. For instance, I personally prefer the look of MacOS to Windows (I know, probs controversial opinion). On windows, it’s be a pain in the ass to get it that way, especially without a key, while in Linux you can easily do that with relative ease, as long as you have a guide. Linux is just more freedom, something probably over said but still very true.

There’s other reasons why people would want to switch to Linux to. I didn’t really note that it’s less “bloated” than windows, which means that it has a lot less unnecessary features and thus will run way faster on any computer, especially old ones. Bloat has been kinda a controversial word in the community, since people like to argue that some distros are worse because they have more features. However, no matter what you choose, it’ll probably be better than windows.

The biggest drawback to Linux, in my opinion, is obviously app compatibility. I’ve mentioned gaming before, but that’s something that’s seedy vastly improved over the years. However, some popular apps are just incomparable with Linux, most notably the entire adobe suite and (unsurprisingly) Microsoft office. There’s a couple other things you can do to circumnavigate this.

You can try to find alternatives. GIMP works as a nice alternative to photoshop, Davinci Resolve has native Linux versions, and libreoffice is probably capable enough to replace word or PowerPoint.

You can try to install wine and pray to god it’ll work (though it probably won’t).

You can run a virtual machine and run windows with that, thought that’s not GPU accelerated and thus might be laggy.

OR, and this is the best option in my opinion, you can dual boot windows along side linux, so if you really need to use it, it’s there as an option. If you’re going to do this option, make sure to install windows first before Linux (because of some stupid thing where it erases it in grub or smtn) and that the two operating systems are on separate drives. Also try to debloat windows though guides on YouTube, but know that it won’t be as private as Linux.

Honestly, that’s as much as I have to say about the subject matter. Others are free to add on, since I probably missed a few things. You might not like it at first, but I do encourage you to at least try it. Hell, you might even like it so much that using windows is now alien to you (like me, lmfao).

Hope this helped, and remember, never type “sudo rm -rf /” in the terminal. (Aw fuck, I forgot to explain the terminal. Oh well, I hope someone can explain it to you, and if you get stuck on it there’s always guides online)

[freyalise]

i can see the appeal of opposing LLMs and ai image generators like stable diffusion from a moralistic standpoint but it's never going to work. you're never going to be able to make a satisfactory argument that ai art and writing devalues the artist from a moral and artistic value perspective. we live in a culture where meaning is stripped from art to the point where it is content to be consumed, so the resulting product is the only thing that matters to people

i work in higher education and i am constantly seeing educators say that the traditional essay format is irrelevant because students can just generate an essay with chatgpt. every time i want to shake them and say if the only thing you care about is that they did the work, why bother with an essay in the first place? isn't the point of the academic essay to strengthen a student's critical reasoning skills? their ability to state a point and successfully argue it? their skills in locating credible informational resources and using them to support their arguments? what's the point of teaching students how to critically analyze topics if the process of learning is treated as pointless due to the product becoming automated?

one of the moral defenses that people use for AI is that they function in the same way that people do; neural networks synthesize data together into a final product in the same way that artists use reference images and the styles of other artists to influence their own work. on the surface, they're correct. but neural networks are not people. there is no intent or emotion in the workings of a neural network. you are pushing buttons until art falls out of it like ordering a can of soda from a vending machine

it's impossible to argue with this. you're arguing with people who feel that artists can be replaced with machines simply because the final product can be superficially reproduced with the added bonus of devaluing the labor of the artist. the material harm that comes with ai--waste generated by excess computing usage, the wasted electricity, the people in the global south paid pittances to moderate training data and results--is made invisible in the face of instant gratification. this too is a function of capitalism. if the harm can be sufficiently abstracted away from the cause, then you can convince people that the cause is not relevant to the harm being done. you simply cannot argue against this from a moral or ethical perspective. the only effective argument is a materialist one because you need to be able to ground your argument in reality.

every few days on here i see some defense of ai art or LLMs from a moral perspective, either the ones that say that opposing these systems are ableist or what have you. i can sympathize with that, to a certain extent. there are good and useful implementations of these technologies. but as long as capitalists are using ai content generators as products to be sold, we're going to see heretofore unknown types of damage to people that can easily be buried by capitalists

#every time i see someone go it's just a tool bro i want to scream #trains are a useful tool but consider how many people died as a result of railroad expansion in the us

[lumbarphilosophies-blog]

What do I think Of Biden, Now, As President? (A Question I Accidently deleted)

1st of all, I am sorry to whoever asked this as I accidently deleted your question, hopefully you will see this... Once again I hate talking politics so instead of going down a laundry list of things of why I think Biden is the worst President we've had in the last 20 or so years. I'm just going to start with one topic.

GAS PRICES

I believe Biden directly controls the gas prices by the policies he pushes. Such as shuttering the pipeline, reducing refinery capacity and sanctioning 43% of the world's natural gas and oil supply.

They claimed gas prices were high because of Russia right? Wrong. The majority of the gas price hikes took place before russia.

They claimed the President has no control over Gas Prices. This statement is also incorrect. It is actually one of the issues where they have more control than most people. This is because the oil business is all about projection rather than supply and demand. Future Earnings and determining whether or when you’re going to drill or pull back. You will sometimes see gas prices drop depending on when someone comes into office just because of policies that may not be enacted for another year or two because they’re willing to invest knowing they’ll recoup it. 

Now if you worked for a fossil fuel company what would you do if someone came into office threatening to shut down your company and claimed to enact policies that would greatly affect you, your profits, etc.

May 15th 2020

June 11th 2019

September 6th 2019 “I guarantee you, we are going to end Fossil Fuel!!!”

Biden has taken over 80 actions impacting or what would impact gas prices/fossil fuels. Largely against them. Most of them are executive orders.

Paris Climate Accord

He revoked the Keystone XL Pipeline (Keystone XL is different from Keystone)

He supported increases of $230,000,000,000 in taxes on oil

He reinstated the social cost of carbon metric

The Climate Change Order

Climate Financing 

 Climate Financial risk   

That’s to name a few, I’ll leave a link listing all the policies, executive orders, taken against fossil fuel. 

Another false claim is that it is the result or “Bounce back” from Covid. Meaning more people are driving now than during Covid… The problem with that statement is there is no data to suggest that this is even remotely true. Again, if you look at the prices on that chart you will see the before and after Covid and it remained hovering around $2.50 a gallon. Look at when the steep increase took place

There is a false claim that under President Joe Biden there is actually more domestic drilling than President Trump. Really? The truth is Biden did approve more drilling permits at a whopping number of 4,881 in 2021 than Trump’s 4,631 permits issued in 2020. However, the permits issued under Biden are for leases sold mostly under Trump… See what I’m saying? It rolled over, they’re rollover leases. If this piece of information doesn’t matter to you then maybe this will…. The Biden Administration slashed the approvals of drilling in August 2021.

Permits Slashed: “The data suggest the administration wants to show it’s meeting its obligation to issue permits for existing leases.”

YOU HAVE YOUR ANSWER

Look, this is just one of his many failings but I've spent to long typing this out on just one topic that to disect his entire presidency and everything I believe he has done wrong would take me days and weeks to describe on this platform. That being said I'll speak briefly on inflation.

INFLATION

The CPI (Instrument to measure Inflation) went up 7.9% through february of 2022 which is the highest inflation rate for a quarter or month in 40 years.

If you do the math it is exactly 40 years since the embarrassment of Jimmy Carter where the CPI rose 13.5% in 1980. That number (13.5%) included the rising cost of housing. (Don’t know if you’ve noticed but that’s still kind of a problem today too) The numbers under Joe Biden (7.9%) does not include the rising cost of housing, so the inflation rate is actually 11%. These numbers are old and guaranteed to have risen at this time on December 30th 2022.

I DO NOT BEGRUDGE ANYONE WHO VOTED FOR HIM, I DO HOWEVER BELIEVE WE WERE BETTER OFF WITH TRUMP!

GOD BLESS!

#Youtube

[gengrasvolvohartford4]

Gengras Volvo Cars East Hartford

Customers greatly appreciate that Gengras can operate his East Hartford-based Volvo dealership from his house. Gengras is the dealership's owner and operator. This would imply that Gengras is not just an investor but also actively involved in the operation of the firm.You are in my prayers and thoughts at this difficult time. No matter what, you can always count on our best wishes to be at your side. On behalf of GENGRAS VOLVO, it gives me great pleasure to extend a hearty greeting to you.

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[thelistingteammiami]

If Your House Hasn’t Sold Yet, It May Be Overpriced

If Your House Hasn’t Sold Yet, It May Be Overpriced

Has your house been sitting on the market a while without selling? If so, you should know that’s pretty unusual, especially right now. That’s because the supply of homes available for sale is still far lower than what we’d see in a normal year. That means buyers have fewer options than they usually would, so your house should be an oasis in an inventory desert.

So, if homebuyers have limited choices and your house still hasn’t sold, there’s a reason why. Let’s break one potential sticking point that may be turning buyers away: your asking price.

Especially with today’s higher mortgage rates already putting a stretch on their budget, buyers are being a bit more sensitive about price. As a recent article from the Wall Street Journal (WSJ) says:

“If you are serious about selling your home now, don’t get greedy with the asking price. This is still a seller’s home market as there simply aren’t enough affordable homes for sale in many parts of the country. But with average 30-year mortgage rates above 6%, buyers are much more price-sensitive than they were a year ago.”

Why Setting the Right Price Matters

While you want to maximize the return on your investment when you sell your house, you also need to be realistic based on current market conditions. The simple truth is your house is only going to sell for what people are willing to pay right now.

This can be a hard thing to accept. Especially since emotions can run high during the selling process, which only complicates matters more. After all, you may have lived in this house for years, so it’s only natural you’re emotionally tied to it – and those heartstrings can make it harder to be objective. 

But it’s important to acknowledge that a bigger-than-expected price tag deters buyers and may make them dismiss your house as a possibility before even seeing it. And if no one’s looking at it, how will it sell?

If you want to get your house sold, you’ll need to do something to spark interest in your home again. That’s where a local real estate agent comes in. They’ll help use data to find out if it’s priced too high for your local market. They balance the value of homes in your neighborhood, current market trends and buyer demand, the condition of your house, and more to find the right price for your house, so you can close this chapter and start your next one.

Bottom Line

While it’s true there aren’t that many homes available for sale right now, your home’s asking price still matters. And, if it’s not selling, it may be priced too high. 

[28northgroup]

If Your House Hasn’t Sold Yet, It May Be Overpriced

Has your house been sitting on the market a while without selling? If so, you should know that’s pretty unusual, especially right now. That’s because the supply of homes available for sale is still far lower than what we’d see in a normal year. That means buyers have fewer options than they usually would, so your house should be an oasis in an inventory desert.

So, if homebuyers have limited choices and your house still hasn’t sold, there’s a reason why. Let’s break one potential sticking point that may be turning buyers away: your asking price.

Especially with today’s higher mortgage rates already putting a stretch on their budget, buyers are being a bit more sensitive about price. As a recent article from the Wall Street Journal (WSJ) says:

“If you are serious about selling your home now, don’t get greedy with the asking price. This is still a seller’s home market as there simply aren’t enough affordable homes for sale in many parts of the country. But with average 30-year mortgage rates above 6%, buyers are much more price-sensitive than they were a year ago.”

Why Setting the Right Price Matters

While you want to maximize the return on your investment when you sell your house, you also need to be realistic based on current market conditions. The simple truth is your house is only going to sell for what people are willing to pay right now.

This can be a hard thing to accept. Especially since emotions can run high during the selling process, which only complicates matters more. After all, you may have lived in this house for years, so it’s only natural you’re emotionally tied to it – and those heartstrings can make it harder to be objective. 

But it’s important to acknowledge that a bigger-than-expected price tag deters buyers and may make them dismiss your house as a possibility before even seeing it. And if no one’s looking at it, how will it sell?

If you want to get your house sold, you’ll need to do something to spark interest in your home again. That’s where a local real estate advisor comes in. They’ll help use data to find out if it’s priced too high for your local market. They balance the value of homes in your neighborhood, current market trends and buyer demand, the condition of your house, and more to find the right price for your house, so you can close this chapter and start your next one.

Bottom Line

While it’s true there aren’t that many homes available for sale right now, your home’s asking price still matters. And, if it’s not selling, it may be priced too high. 

#housingmarket #realestatemarket #realestate #realestateadvisor #28northgroup #evcfl #orlandorealestate

[3stephomebuyer]

Sell My House Fast For Cash - Tips For Motivated Sellers Only

Frequently individuals are not ready to sell their homes quickly yet sad circumstances emerge where people are caught in any of the different circumstances that prompt mortgage holders to need to sell rapidly, for example, an employment misfortune or a task move, or maybe a separation is causing the offer of the property in a hurried way.

Regardless it must be sold now and individuals are not ready for a speedy sale of their homes and how or who can administrate it. Try not to worry it's each of the simple cycles that you can do.

Sell my home quick for cash exchange isn't hard or troublesome. By framing a few straightforward rules here that you can observe you ought to have the option to make a move and get your home sold rather rapidly.

As a matter of some importance, it assists with realizing a rough estimate at the extreme least what your home is as of now worth. Assuming you know this, amazing. If not, you are going to need to do a little examination of it. Try not to stress I will tell you the best way to do the exploration effectively with a framework that is exceptionally easy to do.

Simply look into two or three land offices online or in the telephone directory. Large establishment names or significantly more modest nearby land offices will do, it truly doesn't make any difference. Something like two, simply the two will be adequate. Get their numbers and call them.

Let them know that you may be keen on selling your home, yet first, you believe should go about your home responsibilities and would like some tantamount deal records of as-of-late sold homes, and the ongoing recorded costs of comparative valued houses close to your home.

You need to request something like seven to ten comps and a similar sum for current postings. The greatest you need to go out is about a mile and a half to two miles. On the off chance that you live in a country or ranch region, you clearly must go out further.

The offices will be glad to supply you with this data on the grounds that to them you're an expected future client.

Since you have this data about your area of comparatively estimated houses available to be purchased and as of late sold houses like yours. You will know how to value your home in like manner for a rapid house sale.

So what should that cost be? You ought to take a gander at your comps to see what is the most minimal value that comparative houses have sold for and what is the least cost of current comparative houses that are recorded available to be purchased. You never need to list your home more than whatever the least comparative home is being presented for and what the most minimal as of late comparative sold home sold for.

You really want to ensure you are offering your home for not exactly both of these numbers. You want to cost it along these lines so your home is forcefully valued to begin getting offers right away.

You want to offer your place to a land financial backer that purchases homes with all your money and not utilize a real estate professional to present to you a purchaser. Without delving into a ton of detail here. Simply know that there is no center man that is involved on the off chance that you offer to a land financial backer.

The decision ought to be clear, why pay a commission when it's superfluous? However, not paying a commission isn't actually why we are trying not to utilize a real estate professional in the first place, obviously, we would rather not pay a commission possibly, it's the way that financial backers when they purchase land get together with all money offers which while purchasing a house, nothing shuts a land exchange quicker than an all money buy.

The quick exchange that these land financial backers can administrate is the thing we are pursuing and don't stress over the desk work and courses of action they will deal with all that for you. Beginning to end these land financial backers will walk you through the whole cycle.

So where do you track down these prepared to purchase your home with cash financial backers? Effectively do some web-based research. Or on the other hand, you can simply go cruise all over your town to occupied crossing points and focus on murmurs on utility poles or road moans that say we purchase houses compose the telephone number that is recorded and call these folks. These murmurs are put out by financial backers hoping to purchase limited properties.

Simply review for you to sell your home quickly you must offer it at a rebate period. That is a definitive core in getting your home sold quick. Ideally, with all that you have learned here you ought to be well en route to selling your home quickly.

For More Info:-

Sell My Hollywood Beach Home for Cash

We Buy Hollywood Beach Home

[battleboll69]

Ideas That Will Assist You Enjoy Your Trip

Everyone wants in order to be considered a smart vacationer that gets additional for money in addition to publications the ideal outings. Traveling seems in order to be getting even more plus more high-priced in addition to navigating just about all involving the world wide web sites and traveling firms will get complicated. Allow me to share a new few very simple suggestions to assist a person along. Pack all your necessary belongings in a carry-on bag for aircarrier travel. Not getting to check luggage indicates which you can save checked carrier costs, check inside for your flight at home or at a kiosk with out being forced to wait in line a the plane ticket counter, and can steer clear of the chance involving your bags getting lost. Be sure to confirm your reservation at the establishment you will be lodging inside. Hotels are well in their directly to provide your room to be able to someone else in the event that you need to do not verify your reservation. A quick phone contact could ensure that you don't find yourself without an accommodations, when an individual turn up. Packing the trolley suitcase smarter will enable you to bring additional enjoyment! The very best way to improve space in your luggage is to put a specific thing flat in addition to roll it upward. Throw as numerous issues because you can plus fit them strongly together. Filling socks and under garments with your shoes will save you much more space. When journeying by atmosphere, presently there is no extended any reason to handle a separate toiletries bag. All of your liquids plus gels will likely need to match right into a Ziplock bag regardless. Of which case will already be covered, and will get smaller in addition to lighter in weight than any case designated intended for typically the task. Try out packing with recylable data compresion bags to save room when packaging. If you vacation frequently , reusable data compresion luggage might end up being a brilliant expense. You can certainly find them for most stores that possess some sort of housewares section. They are generally sold for storage use, but job well in relationship to packing luggage. Before traveling to a location that is completely unfamiliar a single should do many research to be aware of precisely what to expect. This specific research can always be as easy as in which to get good food, to be able to while in detail since where in order to opt for enjoyment and pre-purchasing associated with tickets. Exploration of any type could surely enhance the particular quality of vacation along with the general trip. Save money cash on a far better lodge than the 1 that's cheap, nevertheless may be in a bad area. Cheap prices get customers, somebody that they also draw shady people too. Devote a few money additional and book a hotel of which is in a far better area with far better reviews as well. No matter where if you're traveling, make sure put on sun screen. Actually if the sunlight isn't perfect, your current exposed skin area is even now subject to the sun's dangerous rays. Wearing 15+ SPF sun screen will ensure which you avoid get an unpleasant sunburn and that your trip can get fun without the particular pain. One approach involving minimizing snow build up on your car windows is to playground your car together with typically the windshield going through away from typically the applicable wind. One other way too several individuals consider concerning is to cover up our windshields which has a throw rug when we park our vehicles. تكلفة سائق خاص في لندن in under your windscreen wipers and your own car will probably be just as snug as an irritate within a square area rug. Anyone that features flown on an airplane many times recognize an individual can generally acquire stuck sitting next to someone that merely won't stop talking. If you'd like to not listen in order to these people, pack some earphones. Even if you're not listening to anything, individuals will see the headphones and the most of typically the time won't trouble an individual. Keep your current possessions and identification safe during travel. Do not overlook the reality that most hotels offer a safe. Request the resort to use it. Pay a little fee, when virtually any, and an individual can avoid just about any potential complication that could happen from missing or stolen things. You will usually have regular entry if you have to need to get within typically the safe. Use your job address or perhaps a business card in the suitcase tags should you be skeptical of strangers finding a your hands on your home handle. Along with the enhance found in identity robbery cases, lots of people want to be able to protect their particular identities whenever possible. By utilizing your projects deal with in your luggage, a person can protect your identity while even now making it easy for you to become reached if the bags are lost. If emergency air deploys if you are upon a plane together with your child, place your current mask on very first. Parents will naturally would like to help the youngster first, but when your brain is deprived of fresh air an individual could become made useless plus set both your kid in threat. Looking at airport web sites can assist you find deals in airfare of which you may normally miss. The air-port will record almost all the carriers that will fly in and out of it, which includes virtually any charter travel arrangements that will not be detailed simply by flight research on the internet. Also, end up being sure to verify away low-cost providers who else may offer up still lower fares. Any time you happen to be on a break, do not take more income with you on a day trip compared to you need. By having more income on a person, you happen to be just going to have desire to purchase more things. Also, an individual perform not wish to chance having all of your cash stolen. During travel, avoid crowded places that escrocs might recurrent. This includes subways, elevators, train stations, tourism points of interest, industry festivals, plus negative neighborhoods. When a person are forced in order to visit one of these places, make sure your valuables are guaranteed in inside wallets or a case which has a shoulder secure, plus check all of them often. In this kind of article, we have got reviewed traveling clever in addition to remaining spending budget mindful. We include also reviewed several internet sites and go-to guides that will help you alongside the particular way. Stick to these types of tips and even you are going to be touring just like a professional, experiencing your journey more and saving money although doing this.

#سائق عربي في لندن

[ipanergy-com]

Seven things you must know about ceiling fans-ipanergy

1.  Ceiling fans heat the room

Yes, a ceiling fan is a cooling device.  (See number 2 below.)  But its effect on the room it’s in is to add heat.  Why?  Because electric motors are devices that turn electrical energy into mechanical energy, most of which ends up as heat.  The infrared image below shows a ceiling fan motor that’s hotter than the room it’s in.

2.  Ceiling fans cool people

Ceiling fans are useful for cooling only when they move air over skin.  They cool our bodies two ways:  by aiding evaporative cooling and by aiding convective cooling.  If the air movement created by a ceiling fan isn’t hitting anyone’s skin, it’s just making the space warmer with no cooling benefit.

3.  A fan’s efficacy tells you how well it moves air

Every new ceiling fan being sold in the US these days is labeled with its efficacy.  (Efficacyis an efficiency rating where the output and input quantities have different units.)  For fans, the measure of efficacy is how much air flow you get for the amount of electrical energy you put in.  Its units are cubic feet per minute (cfm) of air flow per watt (W) of electrical power.  A good fan will give you more than 100 cfm per watt;  a poor one might be as low as 30 cfm per watt.

4.  Bigger is better with ceiling fans

While you’re checking those labels, you may notice a correlation.  Thefans with the longest blades have the highest efficaciesand those with the shortest blades have the lowest.  That’s why the company Big Ass Fans makes big ass fans.  And it’s why you’ll want to avoid the little short-blade fans like the one above, no matter how cute, if you’re interested in air flow.  If you just want cute, though, go right ahead.

5.  Lower speeds are more efficient

Another thing you’ll notice when looking at fan efficacy labels is that you’ll get more cfm per watt when you run the fan on medium than on high and more still on low than on medium.  The only logical conclusion here is to get the biggest fan you can fit into the room, leaving proper clearances, and run it on the lowest speed that keeps you comfortable.

That’s why the Big Ass Fans company was originally called the HVLS Fan Company.  HVLS stands for high volume, low speed.

6.  Ceiling fans probably won’t save you any money if you have air conditioning

Martin Holladay covered this inhis ceiling fan article from 2010, but it’s worth reviewing.  If you don’t have air conditioning at all, having some kind of fans can preserve your sanity.  You get to keep cool for a relatively low cost.

Once you have a house with air conditioning, though, the dynamics change.  That air moving over your skin still feels good, and so does the low temperature, low humidity air produced by the air conditioner.  The hypothesis is that people will raise the AC thermostat setting if they’re feeling the breeze of the ceiling fan, but the data don’t support it.

In 1996, the Florida Solar Energy Center (FSEC) did a study of homes with ceiling fans. They found that even though the fans ran more than half the day in the test homes, they saw no difference in thermostat setpoints in homes with ceiling fans compared to homes without.

In short, for ceiling fans to save you money on your energy bills, you have to set the thermostat to a higher temperature.  I do it in my house but FSEC found that most people don’t.  Better yet, use the fansinsteadof air conditioning when you can.  Here in the Southeast, that’s usually in the spring and fall because ofthe humidity thingwe’ve got here.

7.  A ceiling fan can decapitate you

I didn’t even know there was a myth about this until I saw the Myth Busters video below.  Apparently some people worry about getting their heads chopped off by a ceiling fan.  And it can certainly happen, as you’ll see in the video below…but only if you replace the motor with a more powerful one (like a lawn mower motor) and change out the ceiling fan paddles with razor-sharp blade

[homesmithsae]

Mobile Accessories for Both iPhones & Android Lovers

People are dependent on their phones for practically everything in this day and age. From booking tickets for a flight to processing a bank transaction, mobile phones have become an important part of our lives. According to data released by Statista, around 1.5 billion smartphones are sold each year. So, it would be safe to say that we all love our phones, right? But among smartphone users, there are two groups that have been having a vicious battle for years now as to which operating system is better – Apple iOS or Android? This Android vs Apple debate seems to not have any concrete conclusion but there is one thing where both Android and Apple fans arrive on common ground, that is, their love for fancy mobile accessories.

The best kind of accessories are those that do not become obsolete when a person upgrades their phone. Also, if that accessory can be used for both Apple and Android phones, it’s a cherry on top. So, no matter what the future of mobile phone technology is, the demand for cool, useful, and long-lasting accessories will always be there. Here we present you our pick of the top five mobile accessories for both iPhones & Android users.

1. Pop Socket:

For the uninitiated, a Pop Socket is a round knob-like thing that is attached to the back of the phone. It helps to hold the phone easily and can be used to prop the phone up if you want to watch a video. For iPhone users, it is an amazing accessory to use while Face Timing and staying hands-free. Pop Socket is one of the most in-demand and popular mobile accessories these days with an estimate of around 30 million of these being sold in the USA alone in the last year! The inventor of this little thing, David Barnett, mustn’t even have imagined the soaring popularity this simple and genius accessory would garner while he was working on ways to easily hold a phone in his garage in 2014.

2. Phone Wallet:

Think of two things that you cannot leave the house without. Most people would say it is their cell phone and wallet. So how about a mobile accessory that will take care of both your essentials? A phone wallet is one of the most creative phone accessories that ensure that you have less chance of forgetting one of the two at home. If the pessimist in you is worried about cell phone theft, then relax as data provided by Consumer Reports indicates that mobile phone theft is on a decline. This makes it even safer for you to carry your money, be it loose change or cards.

3. Bluetooth Speakers:

Music streaming apps are the most used apps by smartphone users. Spotify alone has over 500 million active monthly users and these numbers will only grow in the coming years. Bluetooth speakers are one of the best ways to enjoy music on your phones as all mobile phones have bluetooth technology on them. Not only music, but Bluetooth speakers also allow people to listen to audiobooks, and podcasts or enjoy a video as it enhances the sound experience and quality.

4. Phone Stands:

With more and more people getting used to making video calls instead of the boring traditional ones from their mobile phones, the demand for phone stands has also increased. It is estimated that around 45% of smartphone owners end up damaging their phones within the first year of purchasing them. These damages amount to around $2.5 billion for Android users and for iPhone fans it is about $10.7 billion! To ensure that your phones remain in perfect shape and physical health, we recommend that you invest in a good and sturdy phone stand.

5. Microfiber Cleaning Cloths:

Smartphones these days are nothing but huge rectangular pieces of the glass screen. We tend to carry them wherever we go, even to the toilet. You’d be grossed out to know that a typical mobile phone contains 10 times more germs than the toilet seat. With all the unseen bacteria getting accumulated on your phone, it is important to buy a high-quality microfiber just for cleaning the phone. Of course, it won't help you get rid of all the bacteria that are on the phone, but this is one of those mobile accessories that serve a very important purpose but often tend to go unnoticed.

With the market full of a plethora of options for both iPhone and Android users when it comes to mobile accessories, here at Homesmiths, we have made it easier to browse through for your specific needs. From fancy leather phone wallets to magnetic phone stands, we have it all!

Original Source: https://www.homesmiths.ae/blog/post/mobile-accessories-for-both-iphones-and-android-lovers

[likemmorg]

What is avast secureline icon

#What is avast secureline icon how to#

#What is avast secureline icon activation code#

#What is avast secureline icon license key#

#What is avast secureline icon install#

Enable Avast SecureLine VPN and enjoy private, unrestricted access to any site from anywhere in the world.Īvast SecureLine VPN is a simple tool. No more skulking around for anonymous web surfing. Get complete protection from hackers, government entities and surveillance. With Free version also available on download links provided below. SecureLine is available on mobile devices such as iPhones and Android smartphones.

#What is avast secureline icon activation code#

Enter the activation code and connect to the VPN server.

#What is avast secureline icon install#

Install the free Avast Wi-Fi Security app.

Enter your password to receive the activation code on your e-mail.

Type in your e-mail address used for buy or create a new one.

To use the Avast SecureLine VPN, follow these steps: In this way, it creates a safety tunnel by encrypting your traffic, in and out, so no one could have even a slightest clue about your activities. While bringing back the information, it still keeps the data under 256-bit AES encryption. In these servers, Avast SecureLine VPN decodes your data, and it fetches all the information for you with its own virtual IP and location. Before sending your traffic to ISP, it encrypts your whole data, so your ISP or anyone for that matter, could have no idea of what you do except that it is going to one of the servers set by Avast itself in different countries. And it also forms a safety tunnel around your network to keep everything you do safe. Or if you are on public Wi-Fi, be it at café, restaurant, club etc., where everyone is on the same network, anyone who has good knowledge about cyber and network security could act as a man-in-the-middle and hack into your mobile or laptop and steal your data or private information like Bank details, ID and Password, Card number etc.īut when activated with Avast VPN activation code, Avast SecureLine VPN allows you to change your location. Thus, it becomes easy for them to collect your information and sell it to any third party for any purpose or they can also restrict your access to any website or location. In this situation, your ISP, or government through ISP, knows your exact location and almost every detail you enter in any website you visit. Usually when you are connected to an internet, whatever you search or do, its traffic passes unprotected through your ISP (Internet Service Provider), and whence it goes to the server to retrieve whatever you searched for. Please don’t use VPN to visit some site, software or some activity that is considered illegal or prohibited in your country. You are requested to use VPN for self-defense, so you could protect your privacy and data while being online. Because we all know one thing for sure, whosoever is keeping eye on us is not for our good. In this age of the internet, without a good VPN (Virtual Private Network), almost everyone is vulnerable, though less on local and more on public Wi-Fi, and no one wants their privacy to be leaked, information to be sold to any third party or activities to be traced.

#What is avast secureline icon license key#

Steps to Install Avast VPN on FirestickĪvast SecureLine VPN license key or file is must to have if you want to switch your Avast SecureLine VPN to premium and avail its benefits to keep your privacy protected over the internet.

#What is avast secureline icon how to#

How to Activate Avast SecureLine VPN on Android TV?.

How to add license key to Avast SecureLine VPN?.

Another Method to Activate License File for Avast SecureLine VPN.

How to Activate Avast SecureLine VPN Through Activation Code?.

Frequently Asked Questions About Avast Secureline Key and Installations.

Avast Secureline VPN License key (2019 Version).

Avast SecureLine VPN License Code for Multi-Platform.

2021 New List of Avast SecureLine VPN License Keys.

Free License Key & Activation Code for Avast SecureLine VPN.

Features and Benefits of Activated Avast SecureLine VPN.

To use the Avast SecureLine VPN, follow these steps:.

Additional Information About Avast SecureLine VPN License Key.

#What is avast secureline icon

[darlenepenny]

Website composition - Remaining Beneficial

Step by step instructions to remain beneficial as a Website specialist

In the present economy it very well may be extreme for an independent website specialist or designer to vie for ventures and remain productive. At the point when I began quite a while back, I did long haul contracts for a couple huge organizations in the San Jose region. Around then doing basic HTML and visual depiction handily paid in the low six figures every year.

On the off chance that you have been accomplishing independent work for some time, I'm certain you have seen the expansion in rivalry and the drop in rates clients will pay. Long island web design A venture that I might offer two or three hundred bucks on today on the web-based work loads up, would of handily gotten 2 to 5 fold the amount of a long time back. On the off chance that you as of now have a huge client base, fantastic. Inform me as to whether you really want any assistance with all that work. Simply joking, yet this article is something else for the new to private venture website architecture specialist.

So how would you remain productive and positive? Above all else, you need to ask yourself, do I truly like website composition? I'm making an effort not to beat anybody down. In any case, assuming that you are only a website specialist since that is what you do, it could be an ideal opportunity to investigate another field. Indeed, even inside the web field, being a sales rep or essayist, for a web related business might be something more fit to you. On the off chance that you are energetic, or possibly still inquisitive, about website composition, there are a few changes you ought to make to your plan of action. Like I generally say, this exactly has worked for me. On the off chance that you have any remarks or questions kindly leave a note.

The central thing to consider is where you are in your website composition/improvement profession. On the off chance that you as of now have a little to medium measured client base perfect. I could never prescribe or endeavor to truly push a client to purchase something, yet your current clients are your undeniable decision for more income. This is the ideal opportunity to do a few exploration and perceive how you could further develop your clients locales. On the off chance that you can add esteem, particularly something that gets income, to the site, it is a success/win and you don't need to begin with a cold pitch.

For instance, I had a client who sold an item locally, yet had absolutely not a chance of purchasing the item on the web. By essentially adding a little shopping basket to the site, I had the option to produce additional income for the client and myself very quickly. One more motivation to tap your current client base, is managing new clients can be a speculating game. It is truly difficult to understand what the client will resemble to manage until you start a venture. Many website specialists realize the component creep condition and the client who can't conclude what they truly care about. At the point when times are tight, the last thing you want is to get stalled with a task that doesn't wind up acquiring a lot of income, and/or leaves you with a miserable client.

Assuming you are simply starting, and have not many or no clients, you should begin little. What do I mean by start little? Most work sheets will have a rating, profile, portfolio and a record of ventures finished by every engineer offering on an undertaking. You doubtlessly don't have a lot of data to place in your portfolio. Also, you most certainly have no history for the expected client to go on.

There are as yet several things you can do to work on your possibilities winning an undertaking. As a matter of some importance, in the event that you have a degree or certificates, push that on your profile page. Additionally, continue to get guaranteed in more expertise regions to build how much activities you can offer on. Second, form a few layouts or models of test locales. This will give potential clients guides to check out, provide them with a thought of your style and expertise level, and extraordinarily increment you chances of handling those initial not many undertakings.

In the event that you have offered on 20 activities or more yet are not getting any reaction, you should make a few changes. You many need to offer on little undertakings and lower your offers until you find the rate that clients on that board will pay for your administrations. You can likewise do a few locales free of charge. In the event that you are an individual from a gathering, a congregation or club, propose to do a free site. More often than not they are extremely responsive, and it will give you a genuine client/s to flaunt. Remain positive regardless of whether you are not getting any work. Imagine like you have an undertaking and work on that. For instance, a client that I had saved a block of time for pushed the task back. Is it safe to say that i was disheartened? Indeed. There's actually no way around it and presently I two or three days with no business tasks to chip away at.

Something I've played with yet never dominated was WordPress. In those two days I had the option to truly get into Word Press and feel great enough with it to offer on projects connected with WordPress. I didn't make a dime, yet, for the work I did during those couple of days. I actually dealt with it like a genuine venture. Working out the necessities, thinking of models and doing explore on comparable locales, similarly as I would for a genuine client.

I'm almost completely certain that mastering the new ability will yield a few new clients. In the event that it doesn't at more regrettable, I have another example for my portfolio and I found another device that I can use for my own motivations. Ideally this makes a difference. Drop me a note on the off chance that you have any remarks or questions.

Visit http://www.hontsdesigns.com: Honts Plans to see my steadily developing document of articles, assets, tips, and so on. At the point when I'm not playing golf, I'm generally web based following through with something. Go ahead and drop me a note or remark. I will hit you up quickly.

[thotful-writing]

Descending into Darkness (5)

Summary: Leaning into the black hole that is Kylo Ren.

Read on AO3

Chapter 4

Warnings: Choking, murder, degradation, condescension, smut, and violence

Words: 2.7k

A/N: The final chapter. Maybe. Probably. There’s always the possibility of more depravity. 

Everything that had happened before fucking Kylo was nothing more than an inconvenience now. The things you’d experienced, being bought and sold, working until your body gave out, all of it was absolutely nothing compared to what Kylo put you through. Every harsh word seeped into your mind, each choke, slap, bite, left you dizzy and confused. You didn’t hate yourself, but it was becoming harder to like who you were becoming after a while, which made the doctor’s offer a little more appealing each day.

Pathetic. Slut. Whore. Useless. Weak.

His voice was now engrained into your mind, even when he wasn’t there the words he used and the way he spoke to you infiltrated your thoughts. You were almost in a constant state of arousal which was driving you insane and making it difficult to focus on anything outside of wondering when he was going to return and how he was going to use you this time.

" I'm almost done with-" You didn’t have a chance to finish before he was on you.

Kylo had you hoisted up, shoved against the bathroom wall with your legs around his waist and his cock already hard.

"You can finish when I'm done." He said as he lined his cock up with your cunt.

It wasn't that you didn't want him, it was ridiculous how much you thought about him, but you were frightened by the things he did and the lack of self-control you had around him.

"You like the fear." Kylo said as he eased into you, "it makes your cunt even wetter."

"N-No, it's-"

"Don't deny it. I can feel it... I can hear those desperate thoughts, begging for me to hurt you, to show you just how ruthless I can be. Such a pathetic little whore pleading all the time. Stop fighting it and just give in." He held you up effortlessly while he drove his thick cock in and out of you.

You hated how right he was, how eagerly your thoughts returned to how rough he was with you. It was on repeat all day, every day. You were beginning to crave it, your dreams at night filled with depravity and the things you were too afraid to speak out loud.

Your reflection in the mirror caught your eye, seeing yourself wrapped around him so desperately while he used you. He was like a drug, coursing through your veins, stimulating every part of yourself that laid dormant without him. Whether he meant to or not, you were now successfully encompassed in him completely and your strength to take the option that got you out was wavering.

Between the bouts of rigorous fucking that teetered on the edge of attempted murder, you returned to your normal duties until Kylo returned.

He entered the room with heavy steps, his gaze fixed on you almost immediately.

“Sir, I-“ You froze when you saw the suspicious expression fixed on his face.

“Care to explain this.” He handed you the data pad.

You scanned it, seeing a requisition request for you to report to the Med Bay. Avoiding his gaze was becoming harder as you looked it over, you could feel him digging into your mind. The only way you’d have a requisition was if someone had officially registered you into the First Order services as a technician.

“I don’t know- I didn’t think anyone really knew about me being here.” You finally peered up at him.

“Apparently they do. And it seems like your friend is in need of your assistance with some matter that’s beyond making the request through the appropriate channels. Instead, I received it this morning.” He snatched the data pad from you and tossed it down on the couch.

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what he could want with me.”

For a split second you were grateful that you were nowhere near a wall for him to slam you into, because you’d come accustomed to his knee jerk reaction to trap you in. But that gratefulness soon faded when he gripped your throat with one hand and slid his other hand directly between your thighs.

“You’re certain you don’t know what he wants?” His fingers stroked along your slick folds methodically, drawing out a soft moan, “It feels like you know exactly what he wants and you’re just the eager little slut to give it to him.”

“Kylo, please- I don’t-“

“You don’t want the doctor to touch your messy little cunt like this? Remember, I was there when you asked him to take care of you so sweetly. Your need was almost dripping from your tongue the way it drips from your cunt.” The condescension was heavy in his voice as he zeroed his fingers in on your clit.

“N-No… I don’t want him… I want you.” Your legs all but gave out as you clutched his forearms.

“You want me or my cock?” He thrust his fingers into you, forcing a harsh gasp out of your throat.

“Y-You. Please-“ You squeezed your thighs together, squirming in his grasp.

His gaze was intense as he leaned closer, bending your body in whatever way he wanted so he could reach his fingers deeper within you. You couldn’t move away, nor did you want to. You wanted to be there, right there with him, no matter what he did to you.

“I’ll let you fill his little request, but not before I fill your little cunt. I want my cum dripping out of you while you stand there with him, reminding you of where I’ve been. Where only I’ve been.”

He didn’t give you a chance to speak before abruptly pulling his fingers out of you and jerking you towards his bedroom. Your feet barely kept up and he was all but dragging you along the sleek floor. Part of you was afraid of what came next from him, the other part was excited to see him unhinged, letting loose and using your body to release that inner turmoil.

He threw you down on the bed, “don’t worry, slut, I don’t plan on taking it easy on you today. Your little stint with being sick was the last time you’ll see any concern from me.”

He grabbed your ankles and pulled you down towards him, “what does he want with you?”

Kylo forced your legs open obscenely wide, almost to the point where it hurt. You struggled to sit up, trying to see what he was doing, but the Force pushed you back down on the bed.

“Answer me.” He growled with his mouth so close to your pussy.

“I don’t know.” You shook your head.

“Don’t know or don’t want to tell me?” He ran his hands up your inner thighs as he spread you open for him.

You could feel his hot breath panting right against you, warming you more than you already were. You were waiting on bated breath for some kind of contact, but it never came.

“I really don’t know.” You said after a moment.

Your entire body jolted the second you felt his tongue drag along your cunt to your clit. His mouth latched onto you, sucking and licking your clit, leaving you speechless and pleading in your mind. He worked you up until you were close to coming, then he stopped.

“Why did he request you?” He asked.

“Please, I have no idea.” You tried to squirm but he had his hands pinning your hips to the bed and the Force still keeping your shoulders flat on the bed.

A harsh slap on your inner thigh made you jolt, “Please, I really don’t know. He never said anything about this.”

Kylo growled against you when his mouth returned to your pussy, licking and sucking until you were barely hanging on. It was torture, pure torture with no other motive besides getting information from you. You both knew he could just take it from your mind, but he seemed to be driven by making you suffer a little more first.

“Kylo, please! I can’t-“ You pleaded, sweat glistening across your body, thighs soaked from his continued teasing and taunting.

He sat up between your legs, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, “tell me what you know and I’ll fuck you into the mattress.”

You took the brief pause to catch your breath, “I don’t know what he wants with me, honestly. I’ve only had one conversation with him and that was on the elevator. Please believe me?”

Kylo shoved you down onto the bed as he climbed on top of you, spreading your legs obscenely wide, “lie to me and I’ll make you watch while I kill him.”

“You- You’d do that?” The surprise in your voice wasn’t about the fact that he’d kill a man because of you, but that it seemed to excite you a little more than it should.

Kylo regarded you with a confused expression for a moment as you freely gave him your thoughts, “tell me what he wants and I’ll consider it.”

You chewed on your lip as he hovered over you, warm breath hitting against your lips as he remained just out of reach. Your heart was racing, every nerve on end as you held a man’s life in your hands and on the tip of your tongue sat his undoing or saving.

Suddenly Kylo sat up, “wait here.”

Before you could ask him where he was going, he was already out the door and on his way somewhere quickly. You sat up, finally able to catch your breath and collect your thoughts. You couldn’t believe you were actually considering selling out Fent just for Kylo to ravage you in the best way. He was too overwhelming and clouded your judgement completely.

You scooted to the edge of the bed and pulled the blanket around your shoulders, wondering how long you should wait for him. Your question was answered quickly when he strode back in, but not alone.

He stepped into the room and shoved Fent down on his knees at the foot of the bed, “I brought you a gift.”

“Kylo, I-“ You looked from Fent to Kylo, panic rising in your chest at the realization that he brought him there for you.

“S-Sir, I’m sorry for whatever I did, I didn’t mean-“

Kylo raised his hand and the look on Fent’s face told you exactly what was happening. You stood up and stepped towards Kylo.

“Stop, please?!” You grabbed his hand.

Kylo immediately wrapped his gloved hand around your throat and pulled you close, “this is what you wanted, what your messy little cunt ached for just moments ago. Tell me what you know and I’ll end his pathetic life here and now.”

You stared up at him, feeling his hand flex around your throat as Fent choked in the floor. You parted your lips, finding yourself free falling into the darkness that surrounded Kylo Ren.

“He offered a way out. He said he’d give me something to make me sick and when you left me with him, he’d say I died.” You swallowed hard, “then he’d help me get off of the ship and somewhere safe.”

Kylo’s gaze was intense as he listened to you, hanging on every word and digging into your mind as the words spilled from your lips. He loosened his grip around your throat and leaned in close, his lips ghosting against yours.

“Good girl.” He grabbed the blanket around you and pulled it away.

You were too enamored by him to even care that Fent was right there and could see everything. Part of you wanted to cover up, but the other part wanted to stay on full display just for your master.

“On the bed, pet.” He ordered and stepped back from you.

You didn’t hesitate to climb back on the bed, sitting on the edge with your feet hanging over it. You glanced down at Fent, his face red from a lack of oxygen, but he was still living. Kylo pulled his gloves off and dropped them on the floor before removing his shoes and the heavy cloak that weighed on his shoulders. You couldn’t tear your eyes away from him as he stood before you, broad shoulders stretching the thin fabric of his t-shirt, hair falling in an organized mess around his face.

“Sit back, spread your legs.” He said with barely a glance in your direction.

You scooted back a little and spread your legs for him, feeling like a prized pet on display, “like this, master?”

He nodded at you and returned his gaze to Fent, “how many have you played this little game with?”

“I-I don’t know what she’s talking about. I haven’t-“

Kylo tensed his jaw and raised his hand slightly, cutting Fent off again, “how many?”

Fent grabbed at his throat, “th-three.”

Kylo released him instantly and peered over at you, “touch your cunt, pet.”

The command barely left his lips before your hand was sliding eagerly between your thighs. There was something about seeing him so calm and on the verge of rage that was ridiculously hot.

“Where are you taking them once they leave the ship? Get yourself close, pet.” He split his attention between the two of you.

“Wherever they want to go.” Fent said with a shaky voice.

“Where did you want to go, pet?” Kylo asked without looking away from Fent.

“N-Nowhere. I didn’t have a home.” You bit back a moan.

“Neither did the others. Try again.” He said as he stepped over the bed where you were still perched.

You were so close, but you held your orgasm at bay, knowing he didn’t want you coming just yet. Your fingers brushed over your clit softly, hips bucking.

“Please- I never meant for-“

Kylo sat on the edge of the bed, wrapping one arm around your waist and pulling you over into his lap, stopping you from touching yourself. He adjusted and unzipped his pants enough to pull his cock free between your legs. He positioned you and eased his cock into you slowly. Your mouth hung open in a silent gasp as he filled you, everything in that moment seemed so unreal as your eyes fluttered shut.

His lips lingered on your bare shoulder as his hand snaked up your body to grip your throat, “eyes on him, pet.”

You didn’t hesitate for a split second as you opened your eyes immediately and stared down at Fent. Kylo held you down in his lap as you squirmed and rolled your hips against him, pushing his cock deeper within you. When Fent began grasping at his throat, you knew exactly what Kylo was doing.

He squeezed your throat a little tighter, “don’t come until I say.”

You nodded your head, feeling your orgasm start to build again as his cock hit perfectly within you. He nipped softly along your shoulder, tongue brushing over each indention.

Fent’s face began changing color, light pink to red, each passing second he choked and silently begged for his life, but Kylo gave no reprieve to him. Your heart raced as you watched him and Kylo began picking up his pace of thrusting up into you. You bit into your lip, no longer fighting with yourself about the morality of coming while a man fought for his life in front of you. You’d long since left any humanity behind for the sake of Kylo Ren and everything he did to you. He all but pulled every ounce of decency out of you as he snatched you from the light.

“Kylo… I’m close-“ You whimpered as you steadied yourself with your hands on his muscular thighs.

Kylo squeezed your throat, “come for me.”

It didn’t take long for your orgasm to crash into you just as Fent fell lifeless on the floor. You writhed in his lap, words mixed and muttered with remnants of his name and expletives. Your body shuddered and trembled as wave after wave of intensity rolled through you. He held you down in his lap and continued to fuck you with sharp thrusts until he filled your cunt.

In the blissful haze of your orgasm, you turned your head to look at Kylo with a soft grin, “get the Sergeant next.”

“My pet wants a trail of bodies?” His hand slid up your neck to your cheek, turning your head more and pulling you into a soft kiss, his lips moving languidly against yours as his tongue brushed along your bottom lip.

#kylo ren #kylo ren fanfiction #kylo ren x reader #kylo ren x you #kylo ren smut #descending into darkness

[cutesilyo]

i know your eyes in the morning sun — an indophil fanfic

When a homesick Indonesia is unexpectedly taken out of his meeting for a day trip in Rome with Philippines, he isn't expecting much more than exhaustion ahead of him. Instead, what happens is a whirlwind of food, fun, and a surprising amount of reflection on their histories and differences as nations. And as he looks deeper and deeper in the other nation's bright eyes, he learns to come to terms with the feelings he's been ignoring for far, far too long.

Alternatively: a nation who's too attached to the past goes on a date with a nation whose entire philosophy is built on trying to live in the moment. Yes, there is kissing involved.

Also available on AO3, FF.net

—

“Tell me why we’re here again,” Indonesia groused.

“Unofficially, it’s because I’m busting you out of that damn meeting.” Philippines grinned, his purple eyes glinting mischievously under Rome’s bright sun. “Officially, it’s because we’re on a date.”

All Indonesia could do was sigh. He had arrived in Italy two days ago for a G20 summit, and all the meetings he’s had to attend since then had left him tired and restless. It would have been easier if it was like a normal ASEAN meeting, where he was at least familiar and friendly with all the members. But in the G20, he was the sole Southeast Asian nation there, and he found it difficult to get a word in everyone else’s chaos. Most of the time, he simply preferred to keep his head down and daydream about going back home.

It was during his third-favorite daydream (a peaceful afternoon at Borobudur, dressed in gold just like the old days) that Philippines had burst through the doors with his perpetually bright eyes and cheeky smile. Before he could even process what was happening, Philippines was happily dragging him out of the room while everybody else waved them goodbye.

And that’s how Indonesia found himself in his current predicament. Outside some random pizzeria in a foreign country, dazed out of his wits, and with the one nation who got under his nerves the easiest.

He really wanted to go home.

“Oh, don’t give me that look!” Philippines patted him on the shoulder with a laugh, and Indonesia couldn’t help but tense uncomfortably. “It's not like this is a real date, I just made up some lame excuse to get them off my back. Besides, you were bored out of your mind there, weren’t you? I bet you weren’t even listening. You were probably thinking about your temples.”

“No,” he denied, but the other nation simply smirked knowingly. He felt his face go red in embarrassment. “Well, can you blame me? I don’t feel right around all those Westerners . . .”

Philippines just laughed at him as they walked in.

There wasn’t much to walk into. It wasn’t a fancy restaurant, but just a small family-owned business that only had two round tables to the side. Other than them, there didn’t seem to be any other customers. Different flavors of pizza were behind glass, oddly rectangular in shape rather than the circular pizzas he was used to seeing in advertisements, but their names and prices went unlabeled. Even if they were, he doubted that it would help him much; while he was steadily getting used to English, the Romance languages were an entirely different matter.

“Buonasera,” the middle-aged woman behind the counter greeted them.

Indonesia could only nod awkwardly in response, but Philippines grinned cheerily. “Buonasera! Ciao bella, come stai?”

The two struck up a light conversation while he tried to decide what kind of pizza to get. He was used to thick-crusted, American-style pizzas, and he really didn’t see the point of eating something so expensive when a good terang bulan was always available. Besides, even if he didn’t particularly like pizza, he could see that the ones available here were an entirely different beast from the ones Pizza Hut sold at home. Much more greens and vegetables, for one.

Indonesia hoped he didn’t look too clueless when Philippines finally turned to ask him what kind of pizza he wanted. He just pointed at a random one and prayed for the best.

The other nation looked amused, but he didn’t comment any further. He just turned back to the woman and presumably rattled off their order in rapid-fire Italian that he could barely catch. They continued their conversation from where they left off, and whatever it was that Philippines was saying, it made the woman blush like a maiden. Suddenly, for a reason that he refused to name, he felt consumed by irritation.

His stony silence continued until the woman had given them their pizza, warm and each slice served in a small tray, and bid them goodbye. He’d barely given them a glance until they sat down on a bench just outside the pizzeria.

“So, what do you think?” Philippines asked him. He seemed more excited than he was. “This is your first, right?”

“I’ve eaten pizza before,” he grumbled.

“But this is different,” the other nation insisted. “This is pizza al taglio, Rome’s specialty! Come on, just start eating it already. I could hear your stomach grumbling since we left the meeting room.”

Indonesia stared at the pizza dubiously, ignoring how quickly Philippines was eating his own slice just beside him, before giving it a bite.

It was . . . good.

Not that he was going to tell the other nation that. He couldn’t bear the smug smirk that would be thrown his way.

Instead, he said, “It’s folded. It’s like a sandwich.”

“Boo,” Philippines stuck his tongue out at him. “If you must know, it’s called panino and it’s a lot better than eating it unfolded.”

“Unfolded,” Indonesia repeated. “You mean, like normal?”

Philippines gasped overdramatically. “I can’t believe you just said that! No, pizza al taglio is supposed to be eaten panino! Just ask Romano, he’ll say it's the best.”

“And I imagine if you ask Italy Veneziano, he’d say the opposite.” He took another bite, careful not to let any of the grease on his hands, and hummed appreciatively. “I think I ordered something different though.”

Philippines just laughed, a bit sheepishly. "I . . . may have taken the liberty of changing your order. The one you pointed at back there had pork sausage slices on it, so I got you something more halal. That one has arugula and mozzarella, and I know you like things a bit spicy, so I asked the lady to give you something more piccante. This slice has pepper flakes baked in the dough."

"Oh," he blinked, a bit stunned. Indonesia felt warmer than the pizza in his hands. "Terima kasih."

"Hey, as long as you're here with me, ako bahala sa'yo." Philippines stood up and grinned at him, eyes bright and his half-eaten pizza in his hand. "You know, the best thing about pizza panino is that you can eat them while we're on the go! How about we walk around the city, and I'll take you out on a real date?"

------

This was a mistake.

He and Philippines have never really hung out together much; either they only met for formal occasions or they were always joined by at least one other ASEAN member, so the chances they had to be alone were usually few and far in between. If he was being honest, it was probably better for his heart that way.

Still, he probably should've known better than to let Philippines take charge, because his definition of walking around and the other nation's idea of walking around were vastly different things. For one, he'd definitely rather be driving rather than walking anyway. It didn't help that he was still stuck in his stuffy formal suit and dress shoes, while Philippines was both comfy and stylish in his boots, jeans, and a fashionable overcoat. And though he preferred to get to his destinations as quickly and efficiently as possible, Philippines loved making stops at every little statue or shop that interested him. What's worse is that he couldn't just leave the other nation behind — between the two of them, Philippines was the only one who actually knew how to speak Italian and knew how to get around the city. His only choices were to suffer alone in a foreign land or to slowly murder his feet following Philippines around, and just this once, he'd rather swallow his pride.

"If only my motorcycle was here . . ." Indonesia sighed. "How long are you going to take?"

"Just a bit longer!" He heard Philippines shout from the back of the souvenir shop. "My neighbors would never forgive me if I didn't get them anything, you know!"

He was idly inspecting a small plastic replica of the Coliseum when the other nation emerged a few minutes later, proudly carrying about a dozen silver keychains in his hands. Indonesia couldn't stop himself from grimacing at them; in rupiahs, that was probably the cost of a plane ticket.

"You aren't going to buy anything?" Philippines said. He was fiddling around his pockets for spare coins. He seemed to have forgotten that his wallet was probably in the small leather bag he was carrying, and Indonesia didn't feel like telling him.

"Pass," he said. "I'll wait outside, if you don't mind."

Philippines shrugged, turning back to the cashier. "Suit yourself."

As soon as he stepped out into the cobblestone streets, he immediately felt restless for a smoke. The architecture, the weather, the people . . . it all just reminded him how far away from home he was. It was autumn in Italy, colder than it would ever get at his house, and with a sharp pang of his heart he realized how much he missed everyone.

He started worrying about whether Singapore had gotten enough sleep last night, because often the young nation would look at data until the sun rose, looking for where he could make himself stronger. And Malaysia got dehydrated too easily for someone with his water resources, so he always had to remind him about refilling his water dispensers every once and a while. Brunei had always been quiet, but he'd been too reclusive than was healthy these days; and even though Timor-Leste couldn't face him sometimes, he still hoped she was doing alright. He trusted Thailand and Vietnam could handle everything over at the mainland, but he couldn't help but be concerned about them anyway.

Then there was the nation he was with right now.

All of a sudden, he felt a warm breath on his neck and a whispered: "You're scaring the other tourists, mahal."

Indonesia barely held back a scream, furiously turning to face a mirthful Philippines that was clearly having the time of his life teasing him. "Would you stop scaring me like that? And don't call me mahal!"

Philippines just waved him off with a laugh. "Please, that was barely a scare. And you deserve it! I thought the way you kept staring at my bag was weird, but you meant to tell me my money was in it, right? Silly Indonesia, I can't know things if you don't actually say it."

"Don't blame me for your denseness," he shot back. "Besides, your idea of a date must be really sloppy if all you do is take me to tourist shops. Do you have any idea what you're doing?"

"Are you saying you wanted something more romantic? Oh Indonesia, how bold of you!" Philippines looked at him slyly.

He was suddenly reminded of how difficult it could be to talk to Philippines sometimes. "I just thought you'd take me to actual places, like the Coliseum. Or maybe a castle, I don't know."

They walked together in amiable silence towards a nearby bus stop. He almost cried in relief when they finally sat down after what felt like hours of walking. Maybe Indonesia was just feeling his age, but he was not nearly as full of energy as the nation beside him.

"I know you've been to the Coliseum before, so taking you there isn't nearly as exciting," said Philippines, absentmindedly scrolling on his phone. "Just so you know."

"Everything always has to be exciting for you," said Indonesia, with a huff.

The other nation winked at him. "What can I say? I love a little thrill."

He couldn't help but be amused at that. Whether it was thrill rides or thriller horror movies, Philippines was always raring to go. Still, though he was grateful, he was starting to feel a bit guilty about all the trouble he put the other nation through. He knew Philippines could be impulsive, but he didn't think he was the kind of person to drop everything and fly to Europe just to rescue him from another boring meeting. "I've been meaning to ask, but how did you end up in Italy anyway? I'd hate to think that you spent so much money just to go here."

"Don't worry! I didn't come to Europe for you," Philippines grinned brightly. "You're just a stop on the destination. I'm actually headed to Munich."

Ah. For some reason, that only made Indonesia feel worse.

"See, when I'm in Europe, I like to start by visiting the Vatican," the other nation continued. "Then Germany said that he had a meeting in Rome too, so we were planning to catch the train together. Didn't you notice that he was rushing to end your meetings as quickly as possible? It's Oktoberfest, you know."

Indonesia nodded slowly. "I guess September does end next week . . . ?"

"Dios mio," Philippines laughed. "I mean the beer festival, not the month. I'd invite you to join us but I know you don't drink."

"Even if I did, I don't think I could keep up with you and Germany," he admitted, which made the other nation's eyes twinkle with pride. "That still doesn't explain why you decided to crash the meeting."

"That's just because you weren't checking WhatsApp, which I'm grateful for." Philippines handed him his phone, which was opened to the group conversation they had with the rest of the ASEAN nations. "Here, I bet you left your phone at the hotel or something."

He did, but that was beside the point. Indonesia took the phone.

The first thing he saw was a selfie of Philippines at the airplane, snuggled up under the airline's provided blanket. Just boarded from Dubai! Be arriving at Fiumicino by morning, anything you guys want?

Abang is in Rome too, isn't he? Malaysia had asked. In that case, the both of you should bring back gifts! I need the best cheese for my sea cucumbers. Also, remember the keychains.

Singapore had sent one of his custom stickers. The merlion was sticking its tongue out.

Stop being so mean to him, or else he'll end up crying to me again, Thailand replied.

Not my problem he's a crybaby, Singapore said. Then he sent another merlion sticker.

Vietnam sent a laughing emoji, and then: You should visit Indo while you're there. You know how sad he gets when he has to go abroad alone.

Malaysia sent a GIF of a crying scene from some old movie.

Eh? But if I'm going to visit him, I want it to be a surprise! Philippines had whined. If he goes online soon, he'll already know. No fun in that.

It should be okay. He's probably asleep now anyway. And he doesn't check his phone during meetings, unlike you, Thailand pointed out.

It will be good for him to see a friendly face, Vietnam added.

Take care of him lah, Singapore had said. Make sure he enjoys himself this time.

PIRI WAIT I HAVE A GREAT IDEA, chatted Malaysia. I'll DM you just in case, so abang can't find out. He'll love it, trust me!

Oh no, said Vietnam, Thailand, and Singapore in separate, individual messages, to which Malaysia simply replied with another GIF. Brunei even mustered the energy to send a worried-looking emoji.

The last message, sent earlier this afternoon, was a selfie of Philippines with a cheeky grin. He was standing just outside the meeting room, and he had sent it with the caption: He won't know what hit him! <3

Indonesia sat there in stunned silence for a few minutes, until he was nudged gently.

"Come on, the bus is here," Philippines stood, putting his hands on his hips. Then he frowned at him. "Hey, Indonesia, is there anything wrong? You look a bit shaken."

"No, everything's fine, I just," he stammered. There was such a powerful feeling in his heart that he didn't have the capacity to explain. "Um, I don't have my phone with me, so. Please thank everyone for keeping me in their thoughts. Tell them I'm doing my best to make all of you proud."

The other nation stared at him for a moment, then smiled.

If Indonesia let a few tears drop while they were on the bus, Philippines was kind enough not to say a word.

-----

Their stop was on top of a hill. There was an impressively large monument of a man on a horse, but Philippines dragged him to the nearby café as soon as they got off the bus, and Indonesia realized that he was probably better off with a nice snack than looking at some old statue anyway. To be fair, he had been waiting for dessert all day long, and the crepes were warm and delicious and more than enough to satisfy his sweet tooth. He finished his in record time, and bought another one right after.

"Ah, there's that smile," Philippines teased, once Indonesia had returned to their spot. "I was wondering where it went."

He was too engrossed with his enjoying his food to respond, but he motioned go on.

"It's just—I've seen you with tourists, you know." Philippines delicately sipped on his drink, slow and careful like an old cat. "Remember when we had that ASEAN hang-out at Bali? The restaurant near our hotel was full of foreign customers, and the staff was overwhelmed, so you decided to help the staff serve tables and entertain the guests. You seemed really friendly there."

"You knew about that?" Indonesia flushed with embarrassment. He thought he managed to sneak out successfully; it was at the point that Vietnam and Laos got crazy drunk, after all. "Well, it's very different dealing with foreigners at my home and actually being in a foreign place."

Philippines hummed contemplatively. "I think I get it. You feel more in control when it's them coming to you, rather than the other way around."

"Yeah, I suppose so." He crumpled the wrapping paper in his hands. "It's different for you though, right? I think you're more used to foreigners than I am."

The other nation laughed nervously. "I'm not sure Boracay and El Nido can even compare—"

"I'm not talking about tourists."

He knew, of course, that Philippines met with many nations as part of his duties, but he had always taken to this role so naturally that Indonesia could only assume that his history had given him a leg up. Spain was stricter on imposing his culture on the other nation than Netherlands ever was with him, or England with Malaysia and Singapore. America was just as obnoxiously stubborn when he colonized him right after. And although he never forgot his roots as part of Southeast Asia, Philippines also kept much less of his pre-colonial culture and history than the rest of them. Anything before Spain took him away was hazy and, as far as his memory was concerned, he had spent his youth growing up with the Americas and Europe — and with his mannerisms and how close he was with the Western nations, he certainly acted like it.

When Philippines arrived at the meeting earlier, everyone was accepting him with open arms. Spain had fondly ruffled his hair and America invited him to a party at his place next week. France had cooed adoringly at how much he had grown since his youth and England reminded him that he was due to visit London's hospitals in the next month. Germany's cheeks were pink as he asked how he was doing and Italy immediately began talking his ear off about food recipes and restaurants. Mexico began crying with joy at the sight of him, while Argentina and Brazil embraced him like family. It was a miracle that the both of them were able to leave as quickly as they did; he was sure that they'd make Philippines stay for at least another hour, if they could.

Meanwhile, Indonesia's own presence was always forgotten. The only time he was talked to the entire meeting was when Australia made an awkward half-joke, half-apology about the spying issue again.

"I guess it's easier for me to relate to them," Philippines admitted, a melancholy look in his eyes. He was looking down at his still half-eaten crepe with an oddly bittersweet smile on his lips; the sun, only just beginning to set, cast a dark shadow on his face. "And for them to relate to me. But I would be lying if I said I don't feel out of place with them too, sometimes. Despite everything, we're still very different. Besides, all the cultural similarities in the world can't make up for the fact that I'm so far away from them all. There just isn't enough opportunity for me to talk to them as much as they can talk to each other."

Indonesia didn't know what to say to that. He settled for a neutral, "I'm sorry I brought it up."

The other nation waved it off. "I'll forgive you if you take a selfie with me later."

He didn't have any choice but to accept.

As he waited for Philippines to finish his food, Indonesia took the time to observe the other people around. Many of them were trying to take a picture with the huge statue, but there were also families walking around with their happily enthusiastic children. If he looked farther, he could see busts of what he assumed were various historical figures lining the pathways. Going by the number of cars that had been parked just across them, it seemed like the park was of good interest for both tourists and locals alike. There were enough people to suggest that the place was well-loved, but there were nowhere near the crowds he'd see when he passed by the other popular tourist destinations. The statue of the man with a horse was large and grand, but he didn't recognize it; he was sure that, whatever this place was, it wasn't featured on the usual travel brochures.

"I'm curious," he said slowly, "as to why you're so familiar with Rome."

Philippines gave him a wry twitch of the lips, sitting his chin on the palm of his hands. "I thought we were done talking about me and the West?"

"This is different," he defended. "I'm just asking why you know about this place. Italy never took us anywhere like this for the G20 formalities."

"Well, of course he wouldn't," he said, idly swirling his drink around. "Just think: if you have a nice and peaceful park that's meant more for relaxation and you also have more famous and historically significant places available, then you would rather take your visiting diplomats to the latter, right? So Italy takes you to Palatino and Campidoglio instead of here. If it were you hosting the meeting, you'd take them to Monas instead of Taman Surapati."

Indonesia thought about that for a moment, but no matter how much he wanted to argue, he was forced to accept that Philippines was right. Then he frowned. "But you just take everyone to Luneta."

The other nation winked. "It's to my benefit that Luneta just happens to be both historical, relaxing, and beautiful. Makes my life a lot easier."

"You're not actually answering my question," he pointed out.

Philippines simply hummed, leaning back on his chair. His hair was blowing in the cold autumn breeze. "There's not much to say. I've had to visit a lot recently, since Italy is full of my migrant workers, more so than anywhere else in Europe. But when we were younger, Romano used to take me here often. The things he'd say — well, now that I think about it, I think you could relate."

He almost choked on his spit. Indonesia had never been in much contact with Romano, especially as his younger brother was always the one who represented Italy in their meetings, but he couldn't see any similarity between him and that foul-mouthed, angry brat. At the very least, he liked to think he was much more friendly and polite.

Uncharacteristically, the other nation didn't take the opportunity to laugh at him this time. Instead there was only a faraway look on his face, pensive as he stared out into somewhere unknown.

After a moment, Philippines finally said: "Do you still remember being with your old empires?"

Indonesia stilled.

"I know I don't, but you were old enough to remember living with the other maritime nations together as Nusantara," the other nation continued. "There was a glory that you could remember living before Portugal and Netherlands came to your shores. You weren't Majapahit, but you carried his legacy and his blood; just like you carried Srivijaya's.

"Romano lived at Spain's like I did, you know. He liked me for some reason, probably because I used to get sick all the time and couldn't really annoy him as much as the others. One day, he took me to Rome for the first time. I was so amazed at finally seeing all the old ruins I used to read about in books, and then when I looked back at him, he was crying. He told me it was like he could never escape the shadow of his grandfather."

Philippines' smile was terribly bittersweet. "I remember thinking that, for the first time, I was grateful I couldn't remember who I was before Spain came. And ever since I met you again, I kept wondering if you ever felt like Romano did. Maybe you had all that burden on you and you never told us. Maybe you felt lonely too."

He remembered.

Back when all of them were just children, back when he had never seen fair skin except for when he traded with the Eastern Asian nations up north. China and India, of course, were always present. Vietnam was older, and despite all the fighting she did, it never looked like she was ever frazzled by it. Myanmar was the same, but because he was so distant and preoccupied with his own kingdoms, Indonesia saw him the least. He would see Khmer more often when she had to pick up her sons, cheerful Thailand, friendly Laos, and belligerent Cambodia, from whenever they decided to come by. In their household, Malaysia was already energetic, but he was always doubly so whenever Singapore was around; those were the days that the smaller nation still admired his brother. Timor Leste was still sweet and shy, hiding behind him at every hint of danger. Brunei, quiet as ever, spent his time diligently picking flowers for a young Philippines across the sea. Steady, dependable Majapahit had welcomed them all with a smile, and taught him to do the same.

Indonesia grew up without ever really knowing what loneliness was. Even after Majapahit had already faded away, Netherlands had visited him much more often than was necessary or appropriate for a normal colonial relationship. And though he was separated from the rest of them, his siblings were never too far from him either.

So he had to take care of them too, when he could. He had to, because he was the one who remembered the most about what life was like, before. He had to, because he was the oldest. He had to, because that was what Majapahit taught him. Whether he began to feel more and more weary as the centuries passed by and his own territory expanded didn't matter, because being able to take care of as many people as he could — that was the greatest power any nation could ever have.

Of course he remembered. He never let himself forget.

A gentle nudge from Philippines shook him out of his silence. Softly, he said, "You don't have to answer that if it makes you uncomfortable. Believe it or not, even I know when to back off."

"Sorry, you just caught me off-guard," he said, taking a moment to compose himself. Then Indonesia sighed. "You're not normally so serious. I was completely unprepared."

Philippines pouted. "Is it really all that surprising? I just thought, since you asked me a pretty personal question just now, it's only fair that I do the same to you. Answering that made me feel sad, so you needed to think of something that made you sad too! At least the both of us can feel sad together, instead of just me being sad all on my own."

Indonesia felt his eye twitch. "Your logic is really something."

The other nation just laughed, as if nothing happened at all. Then he stood, his grin wide and his hand reaching out to him, and said, "Come on, it's a complete waste for us to come here if all we're going to do is sit around! You can see all of Rome from Gianicolo, you know."

They watched the sunset from the hill's peak, and seeing the yellows and oranges being reflected in Philippines' purple eyes made for a pretty sight. As the sun shone its last light on the ancient ruins of the Roman Empire, Indonesia felt strangely at peace for the first time since he arrived. Maybe he'd even ask Philippines to properly introduce him to Romano one day.

-----

The Eternal City was beautiful even at night, but Indonesia just felt tired. He could sense that Philippines still wanted to go around with him — he mentioned something about taking him to a turtle fountain? — so they settled for slowly walking down the hill. They chatted about mundane things like food, gaming, and the merits of motorcycles over bikes, and it was unexpectedly nice. For some reason, Indonesia felt as light as air. He still wanted to go home as soon as he could, but he slowly realized that he wasn't all that opposed to just spending time with the other nation either.

"Say, Indonesia," Philippines suddenly said. "Do you know how to get back to your hotel?"

Indonesia took that back. He wanted to go home immediately.

The other nation giggled. "Don't tell me that you don't even remember which hotel you're staying at?"

He quickly turned his head away. He willed himself to look anywhere but the other nation, but he could still feel how Philippines was staring at him.

"Ah! I get it now," Philippines said, delightedly. Indonesia internally cursed himself. "Let me guess. You didn't have any plans of going anywhere but the meeting, the hotel, and the airport, so you thought it was fine if you left your phone behind and if you didn't care to remember your hotel's name. And, you kept falling asleep at the hotel shuttle that takes you to the meetings, so you can't even tell me about the nearby landmarks! My, how careless of you, Indonesia!"

"Why are you so smart," Indonesia grumbled, "for the most stupid of things?"

"I don't hear any denial," Philippines sang. "Well, whatever, that works out for me. Unless you're game for scouring through the dozens of hotels around the city, I guess I have no choice but to take you back to my place, huh?"

He faced Philippines, who was scrolling through his phone again, and said, "You don't have to do that. You can probably just ask Italy which hotel he arranged for me. I can take a taxi."

The other nation hummed. "Going from his Instagram stories, he looks like he's too busy partying with the others. Looks like France even brought out his special wine for the occasion. Hey, would you want to party with them? The bar they went to is just a few stations away by metro."

The last time he went to a G20 party, he and Germany were made to strip so that everyone could stare at their pecs. The expression he made must have been grim, as Philippines immediately backtracked. "I'm going to take that as a no."

Indonesia sighed. "Well, I don't want to disturb Italy and I don't want to waste any money trying to find another hotel. If you're really fine with me staying with you for the night, then I guess I have no problem with it either."

Philippines stopped in his tracks. "Eh? You're not going to make a fuss about it?"

Indonesia tilted his head, quizzically. "And you are?"

For some odd reason, the other nation seemed flustered. He was gripping the strap of his bag tightly and his cheeks were pink. "Well, you know, you're normally so averse to any of my ideas, and you always seem so annoyed with me. I thought, for sure, that you were just going to argue against me again . . ."

"Do you really think so lowly of me?" Indonesia frowned. "I wouldn't have been with you all day if I hated you."

That seemed to perk Philippines back up. He could practically see the sparkles in the other nation's eyes as he faced him and gleefully said, "Ha! You've admitted it! So if you don't hate me, does that mean that you actually like me, Indonesia?"

He couldn't hold back a smirk. "Don't get too ahead of yourself."

Philippines just laughed, cheery and bright.

When they stepped down from the bus, Indonesia was surprised to be faced with a block full of old apartment buildings rather than a fancy hotel. Evidently, the other nation was familiar to the residents; one old lady had grasped him firmly by the hand with a gummy smile as she engaged them in small talk. Philippines then took him to the second building on the right and led him through a few flights of stairs to a dark, wooden door.

The apartment was small but clean. Two bedrooms and a bathroom, then some communal space with a worn sofa and a dated television. There was a kitchen with a countertop, rice cooker unplugged, and more than a few succulents sitting by the window. The other nation's usual travel bag was still on the floor, a duffel bag easily recognizable by the numerous flag patches stitched by the sides as a memento for all the countries he had visited. A small corner was developed into a personal home altar, figures of Jesus and the Virgin Mary surrounded by flowers and golden crosses. Even though it was emptier than Philippines' own home back in Manila, it was still undeniably his in its coziness and warmth. All in all, it was modest and good; certainly more than what Indonesia expected for an apartment that the other nation probably only visited a few times a year.

"It's cute. It fits you," he said politely.

"Aw, you think I'm cute," Philippines teased. He was hanging his overcoat on the coat rack, which was a bit too tall for him — a sliver of skin showed only for a moment before being covered again by his turtleneck top. Indonesia pretended he didn't see. "Please go ahead and sit down, make yourself comfortable. Oh, won’t you take off your suit and place it somewhere? The good thing about Europe is that it’s a lot cooler here, so you can still wear it tomorrow without worrying about sweat and stuff."

“I knew that, at least.” He placed his suit on a nearby chair and sat down on the sofa. Philippines set a saucer full of biscuits at the table and gave him a glass of water, which he gratefully drank. As the other nation sat down beside him, Indonesia couldn’t help but ask, “Is this place really yours?”

“My government didn’t buy it for me like all our other properties, if that’s what you’re asking,” Philippines said, reaching out for the biscuits. There was an audible crunch as he bit into one of them. “One of the Filipinos living here bought it for her son, but he decided to move in with his girlfriend. She thought it would be a waste of money to abandon it, so she gave it to me. When I’m not here, it gets rented as an Airbnb. We share the profits. It’s actually pretty good passive income, you know.”

Indonesia gave him a wry smile. “You always find an opportunity to make money, somehow. I’d say it’s America’s influence, but I know for a fact you’ve been this way since we were kids.”

"My skill is all mine, thank you very much," the other nation boasted, leaning back into the sofa with a self-assured smirk. “I don't suppose there's anything else you remember about me from those days? I assure you, if you thought I inherited my charm from Spain, you'd be dead wrong.”

Your hair used to be so long, he immediately thought. He had taken care of it meticulously, washing it with several oils so it was always smooth and wonderfully scented. Gold adorned almost every inch of his body, painstakingly crafted with the tiniest details, contrasting beautifully with the vibrant textiles used for his clothes. Even as a child, Philippines was already used to traveling often — Tondo and Seludong would take him up north, Butuan and Sulu down south, Sugbu and Panay at the center, and a dozen more kingdoms in between. He loved his boats the most, and Majapahit would patiently humor him by letting the younger nation talk his ear off about the latest developments his different kingdoms had with their boatmaking.

Not that he had ever tried to listen in, or attempted to make prolonged conversation with the other nation. At the time, Indonesia was too busy trying to handle Malaysia and Singapore’s chaos to pay much attention to anyone else. He hadn’t gotten to know Philippines all that well until they met again centuries later; older and more jaded, irrevocably shaped by the circumstances their colonizers had placed them in.

Sometimes he wondered what life would have been like if things had turned out differently. But he didn’t have the energy to waste his time despairing over it all again, not when Philippines was still looking at him so expectantly.

“Your eyes haven’t changed,” Indonesia decided to say. “And as for everything else I remember, there’s nothing I haven’t already told you about before.”

Philippines smiled at him fondly, “You’re as terribly succinct as ever.”

Indonesia smiled back, “And as always, you’re just as annoyingly persistent.”

For a long moment, they just sat there on the sofa in silence — easy and comfortable and bathed in the apartment’s warm, golden light. The windows were open, and guitar music from the neighbors was softly permeating the room with its slow, relaxed melody. It was during these kinds of moments that Indonesia's heart felt full; that all he's been through in the past few centuries were worth it, if it meant he could enjoy more days like this. The mood was right and he felt good; perhaps if he was braver, he would have had the confidence to make the most out of it.

Eventually, the moment passed, and the other nation stood. "It's so late already! I should probably get to preparing our dinner. You can freshen up before we eat, if you want."

"Right," Indonesia said, hastily standing up as well. "Ah, may I borrow your phone? I just need to check on something."

Philippines didn't really answer, but he heartily belted out the lyrics to some old love song as he brought out a pot and a chopping board from the kitchen cabinets, so he took it as a yes. Ignoring how the photo for the lock screen looked suspiciously like the sunrise at Bali, he put in the PIN code — 8862, how sentimental of him — and was immediately bombarded by the number of notifications he got. There were messages from everywhere: SMS, Facebook Messenger, WhatsApp, Instagram, Twitter, Telegram . . . it's really no wonder that Philippines was named both the texting and social media capital of the world. Indonesia had no interest in intruding on the other nation's privacy though. As he ducked into the bathroom to wash his face, hands, and feet, he did a quick Google search for sholat times rome.

If he was home, he wouldn't have needed to Google such a thing; the mosques would have already blared adzan through the loudspeakers, reminding everyone in close vicinity that it was time for prayer. His overseas workers would sometimes complain to him about how difficult it could be to pray once they were abroad, that strangers would sometimes gawk at them in public or their employers wouldn't give them the time or space to do it properly in the office. Indonesia often had nothing to offer them but his sympathies. Tonight, he decided, he would pray for them.

"Are you going to pray?" Philippines called out. He was placing a tray in the oven. "Head to the back, go in the room on the right. It should be peaceful there."

"Thank you," he said, and when he opened the door, he was greeted with a welcome surprise.

Though the room was otherwise plain, a vibrantly orange prayer mat stood out — Malaysia's picking, no doubt. Indonesia raised his hands facing kiblat, slow and reverent, and made the mental note to thank his brother later. Thanks to this, he felt significantly less alone.

-----

Philippines made a quick sign of the cross as he sat down on the table. He grinned, "Let's eat!"

It was a modest meal: baked fish with lemons, Filipino-style chop suey, white rice, and a bowl of what was unmistakably Indomie Mi Goreng. While Philippines had poured out a glass of white wine for himself, Indonesia had a glass of orange juice. The other nation was uncharacteristically quiet throughout the meal, though Indonesia chalked that up to hunger; Philippines ate quickly and ravenously, shoving spoonfuls of rice and noodles into his mouth without pausing for so much as a single breath. Indonesia felt tired just watching him.

Once they were finished, Philippines patted his stomach with a satisfied sigh. "Ah, that's the good stuff."

"My compliments to the chef," Indonesia said, which made the other nation giggle. "Though I have to say, I would have cooked it differently."

"I know, but then it'd take longer and I was already so hungry — I'd even go as far to say that I was absolutely famished." Philippines groaned, slumping in his seat. "I mean, I know we could've just eaten at some trattoria down the road, but I needed rice. And I wasn't going to settle for some dumb risotto, no matter how delicious it would be. You get me, don't you?"

"It isn't a full meal without rice," Indonesia agreed.

The other nation nodded seriously. "I always felt like something was missing while I was growing up. It wasn't until I was allowed to go back to Manila that I figured out that it was rice. I haven't looked back since."

Indonesia had always known that Philippines had lived in Europe during the centuries that he was a Spanish colony, but hadn't thought any deeper about the smaller implications that had on him. Some things were obvious — his devout Catholicism for one, and the conspicuously Hispanic human name he used in his daily life — but little things like this caught him off-guard. He said, "I'm sincerely very sorry to hear that."

Philippines did nothing but take a long sip of his wine. "No need to pity me so much, it's in the past now. I don't really think about it."

"I'm not pitying you," he muttered, though he wasn't able to look Philippines in the eyes as he said it. Then, louder: "I'm just realizing that there's still so much I don't know about you. I'm your neighbor, and I don't even know what your childhood was like."

Philippines smiled at him, but it was strained. His face was saying I don't want to talk about it even as he softly confessed, "I don't know all about your history either, Indonesia. Not enough. The sentiment goes both ways. And as for my time with Spain . . . well, what is there to say, really? He said he would take care of me, and he didn't. Not in the same way he took care of the others. Whether that's a blessing or a curse, I don't think I'll ever really know. I just know that it's over now, and I'm grateful.

"I bet your experience was different though." The gaze the other nation leveled on him was nothing less than dangerously curious. His purple eyes were filled with strong contempt, but contempt for what, Indonesia didn't know. "Like I said, I don't know the specifics. But I've been told your relationship with Netherlands was something else entirely."

"He and I weren't—" he stammered, more of a knee-jerk reaction than anything else.

But the way Philippines was looking at him made him stop. He took a deep breath and calmed himself; the other nation deserved something more honest than that.

He still remembered how tightly Netherlands had gripped at his arm, decades and decades ago, his scarf flapping helplessly in the wind. Despite all the things that had gone unsaid between them and the years that they spent together, the blond was still unbearably silent. He used to admire that stoic demeanor; tried to emulate it when he was feeling overwhelmed, always so determined not to embarrass himself or the empire. Back when Netherlands had declared him the emerald of the equator, the crown jewel of his power as a nation . . . it had taken all he had to choke back his pride. It had taken all he had to keep his secret, that budding idea that he was meant to be more than just somebody else's precious colony.

Indië, Netherlands had pleaded, and suddenly the great Dutch Empire had seemed so small.

"It was different," he finally said. "But I don't think it was any better, in the end."

With a bittersweet smile, Philippines simply raised a toast. "To tomorrow."

In answer, Indonesia downed the rest of his orange juice in one go. This time, Philippines' laugh was more genuine, and he couldn't help but stare.

He had noticed this before, of course, but now — with the other nation elegantly sitting across him, his purple eyes glittering bright, and the wine glass so tantalizingly close to his lips — Indonesia was stricken by how right at home the other nation looked. Even Singapore, who probably had the most business with the Western countries out of them all, was more guarded whenever he stepped foot on European soil. Yet Philippines wasn't out of place here in the same way that Indonesia felt, and had instead carried the same easygoing attitude he had during their own ASEAN meetings. As much as the other nation's energy and eccentricities irked him sometimes, he also found himself in awe of him as well.

The others were right. If Philippines hadn't come, he would've spent all his free time wallowing around in his hotel room just feeling sorry for himself. But instead, he was enjoying himself more than he thought he would. Hesitant as he was to admit it, he almost found himself wanting to stay in Rome a little bit longer, if it meant the both of them could spend more time together.

"You're not leaving for Munich anytime soon, are you?" Indonesia said, daring to be hopeful.

Philippines rested his cheek on his hand. "If I remember right, the tickets Prussia bought for us were for tomorrow morning? He gets way too excited about Oktoberfest, you know."

Why do I even try to be happy, Indonesia thought darkly.

"Ah, don't look so glum! You have me all to yourself for the rest of the night," Philippines winked. "But I have to warn you, Pien is having his precious beauty sleep in my bedroom, so if you have any special requests we're going to have to be very quiet about it."

"Nothing like that," Indonesia quickly said, his face hot. "I just thought, I might as well treat you to somewhere nice. As a thank you for, uh, taking care of me today. But my flight back home is tomorrow night, and you're catching the morning train with Germany, and now I'm starting to think that we don't exactly have the time . . ."

The other nation waved it off. "We're nations, mahal. We have all the time in the world. Besides, we'll be meeting again for the APEC conference coming up in November, right? I don't mind waiting until then."

"But I do," he grumbled. "And again, don't call me mahal."

Philippines finished his drink and set his glass delicately on the table. "You can promise me that you'll let me sing half the songs when we go karaoke with the others. Or that you'll pay for my food the next time we have a group dinner. Oh! When Thailand makes a mean comment to me in the next meeting, you have to defend me. Say something like Filipino BL series are better than Thai BL series, that'll really get him going."

He was suddenly reminded of how frivolous the other nation could be sometimes. Either that, or worryingly low-maintenance. Indonesia built up the courage and forced out, "I'd rather make it up to you when the two of us are alone."

This time, it was Philippines who was staring. Flustered, Indonesia rambled on. "I just mean—you know, you spent all this time with me even though you didn't have to. So it's only right that I spend more time with you too, just the both of us. It's not good enough if the others are there too."

Philippines offered, "We could watch a movie before we sleep?"

"I'll probably just pass out in the middle."

"Maybe you can make breakfast for us tomorrow?"

"You gave me snacks, dinner, and a place to sleep, there's no way just a breakfast is fair."

"Well, what do you want me to do? Do you want me to spend a night over at your place?"

"It's not about you, not really. It's just, I want to do something for you. Something you want."

"I've been telling you what I want, but you keep saying it's not good enough, I don't understand—"

"It needs to be special, okay? Is it so bad that I want to do something nice for you—"

"It's not bad, I just don't get why you're being so picky about it. Like, isn't doing me a favor enough for you? Isn't this just about paying me back? What is it that you want to do with me exactly?"

"No," Indonesia stressed, feeling like he was about to lose his mind. "I want—"

He paused.

What did he want, exactly?

Philippines just smiled at him, patient and knowing and just the slightest bit sad, and stood. He was carrying his plate, and as he passed by Indonesia he gave him a gentle pat on the shoulder. When Indonesia looked up to face him, the other nation's eyes were soft. "I know I've said this to you before, but I'll say it again. I can't know things if you don't actually say it. Alright?"

Then he walked away to the kitchen sink, absentmindedly humming to himself, leaving Indonesia all alone at the table. The words I think I want you died on his lips.

-----

Later, after reflecting during his night bath, Indonesia found himself in a panic.

He wasn't a complete idiot. He's known for a while that Philippines was the only one who could fluster him like no other, but he often chalked that up to the other nation's cheeky character rather than anything else. His attraction to Philippines wasn't surprising either; it was no secret that he liked looking pretty, and to be honest, Indonesia has had worse crushes. But he was also steadily coming to the conclusion that his feelings went deeper than mere infatuation, and he couldn't help but wonder: why fall for the other nation in particular?

Philippines was an ally, someone he had founded and managed ASEAN with in a show of regional strength. Philippines was a friend, someone he had spent countless days with over the years along with all the other people he treasured in his life. Philippines was a stranger, someone who still felt so foreign to him despite everything. He could trace out the curve of his smile in an instant, and at the same time, he didn't have the faintest idea what the other nation was doing in the 1920s. He knew that watching a cheesy romcom was the surest way of brightening up his day, but not the exact nature of what Spain had done to him as a colony. And, for the life of him, he still didn’t understand the slightest bit of how verb conjugation in Tagalog worked — which felt especially embarrassing the day he found out that Philippines had been putting in the effort to learn both Bahasa Indonesia and Bahasa Melayu so he could communicate with the rest of the maritime nations better. He'd understand his own heart easier if he fell for Malaysia or even Netherlands — people who he had shared a deep and culturally signifcant history with in his extremely long life as a nation — but Philippines was, to put it sadly, not like that to him.

And yet, as Indonesia stared at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, all he could think about was how much happier he looked now compared to his bleak and boring morning.

He changed into the clothes that Philippines had laid out for him on the bed and had a brief thought of just going to sleep for the night. Pramoedya, if he were still alive, would chide him for such cowardice. Indonesia ended up at the other nation's door, nervously trying to build up the courage to knock. But Philippines must have heard his footsteps, as he called out: "I know you're out there! Just come in!"

Just like him, Philippines had already bathed and changed to more casual sleepwear; he was wearing a loose sweater and shorts that showed off his legs. He was sitting upright on his bed, looking amused at whatever he was staring at on his phone screen, and his face broke out into a warm smile when he saw Indonesia hesitantly trudge inside his bedroom. Pien was already sound asleep in a little makeshift bed on the desk.

"Sit here," said Philippines, while he scooted over to give him space. Indonesia gave him a look. "I'm being serious. Just move your arms a bit and—yeah, that's it. Aren't we cozy?"

Now they were both sitting on the bed, with Philippines between his legs and his arms around Philippines' waist. Cozy was certainly a word for it.

"Now you're just teasing me," Indonesia grumbled, but he didn't move away either.

"Me? Tease you?" Philippines fluttered his eyelashes at him. "Why, I'm just a poor tropical nation made to suffer through the unbearably cold Autumn months in the Northern Hemisphere! I'm severely in need of some aid and assistance, but I'm sure you and all your hundred active volcanoes can keep me warm for tonight."

"You're horrible, you know that?" he said, though he was unable to keep the laughter out of his voice. Philippines laughed with him, giddy and gleeful. "You don't know how anxious I was before this. It's not fair that you can just make all that go away so easily."

Philippines leaned back on his chest, smug as a cat. "Call it a gift. By the way, our neighbors want to know how you're doing. Anything you want to say?"

Now that he was right behind the other nation, he could see that his phone was opened to the ASEAN group chat. It seemed like everyone was spamming the chat with pictures of their pets again. Indonesia rested his chin on Philippines' shoulder and said, "I'm doing just fine. Tell them I mean it this time."

If the other nation was flustered, he betrayed no signs of it. He had now moved on to chatting with the other ex-Spanish colonies; they were all talking in Spanish and Indonesia couldn't understand a thing. "I'll tell them when I'm sure it won't get buried by everything else. But, you know, that's really good to hear. My influence, I hope."

Indonesia buried his face in Philippines' neck as an answer.

"So needy," Philippines murmured, who had put his phone down to pat his head. "Perhaps you really were lonely?"

"Not as lonely as you used to be, I think." At this, Philippines stilled. Indonesia tightened his hold on the other nation's slim waist even further, almost afraid that he would drift away. "About that question you asked, earlier at the cafe . . . I don't feel burdened by how great my old empires were. I've felt the pressure to make them proud, but I've never felt like it was a burden. Their legacy is my life and my connections to all of you, you know? I've certainly never felt like it made me lonely.

"And then there's you, and I know it's not the same for you, because you can't even remember — and that's fine, Singapore doesn't really remember much either. But Malaysia remembers enough for the both of them, and then there's me, and I remember the most, but then there's you, and you don't have that."

Here, Indonesia exhales a shaky breath. "Spain took you, and America took you, and Japan took you, and that's four centuries of you just being gone from me. We're neighbors yet we're so different, to the point where we don't share the same language, the same religion, the same food, the same history . . . and you have friends all over the world and you seem so happy all the time, but I don't think I've ever realized how lonely you must feel."

All Philippines did was sigh. "I told you not to pity me."

"I'm not pitying you," said Indonesia. "I'm just sorry."

All this time, he had been so in awe of how Philippines found it so easy to adjust to Westerners and Western culture when he himself found it so difficult. But now, with the realization that the same ability to connect with others may have also translated to an inability to connect with him and the rest of ASEAN, that same awe felt so bitter. How many times had Philippines stood awkwardly to the side when he spoke to Malaysia and Brunei in his native language? Kept worryingly quiet when they were wistfully reminiscing their pre-colonial pasts? Tried to tell a joke to lighten up the mood during a meeting, but because of differences in culture and history, it just fell flat?

Indonesia was startled out of his thoughts with a painful pinch of his cheek.

"Of course you're going to be sorry if you make me sound so depressing," Philippines pouted at him, annoyed.

He sputtered, "What? I mean, I just thought—"

"Do you take me for an idiot, Indonesia?" He pinched Indonesia harder, which made him yelp. "Don't you think I'd be well aware by now of where I stand with all of you? That after sixty years together, I would've realized that I wasn't as involved in your history as everyone else is in maritime, or everyone else with each other in the mainland?"

With a huff, Philippines let him go. Indonesia tried to soothe the sting of it by putting his hand on his cheek. He almost didn't hear the other nation murmur, "Do I seem that pitiful to you?"

"Not pitiful at all," Indonesia scrambled to reassure. Philippines leaned back on his chest, still looking a bit miffed. "I don't know. I just had this sudden thought that maybe we're just a bad reminder of how much Spain and America took away from you. Maybe you're actually uncomfortable with us."

Maybe you're actually uncomfortable with me, he thought, though he kept that to himself.

Philippines simply stared up at him, eyes bright, and said, "Well, if you only realized it today, then maybe you should've considered that it isn't actually a problem."

"You could just be very good at acting like nothing's wrong," Indonesia pointed out.

"Or you can think about this: maybe there really is nothing wrong in the first place," Philippines said, a wry smile growing on his face. "I founded the association with you, you know. Maybe the rest of you were there because of old ties or whatever, but I joined precisely because I wanted to build new ones. I don't really care if I feel awkward sometimes. I'd certainly find it boring if all of you were exactly like me anyway."

The other nation was so carefree about it, but Indonesia still felt conflicted. He admitted, "Maybe the problem is just that I feel awkward. I have no idea how to approach you as a nation."

"So don't approach me as a nation. Approach me as a friend," Philippines said, not unkindly. To get the point across, he put his hands over Indonesia's in a show of comfort. "You're allowed to act outside the interests of who you represent, you know. We're people too."

Indonesia kept quiet. There had been times when he privately felt like Philippines was his exact opposite — a lively, energetic person that focused more on his human side rather than the nation side, and someone whose duties were considerably more worldly than his own: having to regularly travel to dozens of countries to check on the millions of Filipino citizens that were working abroad. Meanwhile, as such a large and diverse country, Indonesia tried his best to ensure that every single one of the people that lived within his borders felt heard. It was difficult sometimes, but it always felt meaningful to him — his people were his essence, and he couldn't let politics force him to forsake them again. Acting for his personal interests felt as foreign to him as leaving his house sometimes. Not that he never took time for himself; he tried, but a lot of the time he had to be convinced to do so. Sometimes Singapore would invite him for another tour around his house, or Malaysia would drag him into some new restaurant where they would inevitably fight over the food. But more often than not, it would be Philippines pushing him and the other Southeast Asian nations out of their shells and setting up parties, taking them to his fiestas, and prodding and annoying all of them until they would finally agree to ASEAN hang-outs like the one at Bali. Indonesia could admit harboring a deep suspicion for the other nation before, thinking that he was more in line with American interests rather than his own, but over the decades that suspicion had faded. Despite all his efforts to the contrary, he had grown on him, and now Indonesia couldn't imagine his life without him anymore.

He didn't know much about the Philippines as a nation, not much more than he needed to be aware of for the sake of diplomacy and the association. Yet as the years went by and he got to know more and become friends with Philippines the person, he discovered someone who was equal parts obnoxious and endearing, foolhardy and clever, petty and proud and unbelievably kind. And as he looked at him now, there was something in the curve of his smile and the light in his eyes that told him that things would be alright if he took things a step further — something that told him that the other nation had been anticipating this for a long, long time. Heart over head and heart over country, it emboldened him to take the leap.

"I don't want to approach you as a friend either," Indonesia murmured, and because he couldn't help himself, he leaned down and kissed him.

Philippines sighed happily into his mouth as he kissed back, warm and blooming under his touch. Their kiss was relatively chaste — Indonesia had seen the other nation make out with others for a drunk dare with more passion than this — yet he couldn't complain. It was sweet and soft and lasted only for a moment, and more than anything, it was a promise: that they can take things slow, and that they had all the time in the world to get to know each other better.

Their foreheads touched, quiet and tender, and Philippines laughed softly. "It's so ridiculous," he said, his eyes filled with mirth, "that I've been waiting for so long for you to realize your feelings, and when the time finally comes that you do, you managed to confess without really confessing at all. Only you, Indonesia."

"I'm shy," he said dryly, and the other nation burst into laughter. "If you wanted a real confession, you probably could've done so yourself."

"Ah, but there's no fun in that! I like the thrill of being chased, you know," Philippines preened, wagging his finger in mock admonishment. Then, more shyly, he admitted, "Besides, if I made a move on you before you were ready, you might've just pushed me away or feel forced to return my feelings even if you didn't. If I waited, at least I could be sure you wanted me too."

"So all those jokes you made before were supposed to be you holding back? How subtle," Indonesia teased, his eyes crinkling. He held the other nation closer, smothering him with small kisses all over until what little sadness on his face disappeared and was replaced with giggles and brightness. He turned Philippines' head to face him properly and said, "I'm scared that I won't know how to balance my duties and my personal life as well as you do, and I'm scared that we'll be too dissimilar to really work out. But until the day that our differences force us apart, I'd be happy to spend my time with you."

Philippines pulled away from him slightly, an oddly vulnerable look in his eyes. "You're sure you really want something with me? That this isn't too far out of your comfort zone?"

"Oh, it's very out of my comfort zone," Indonesia said. "But recently, I've been learning that maybe it isn't so bad, you know. As long as I'm with you."

"As long as I'm with you," Philippines repeated, with a growing smile. "I like the sound of that."

They continued talking well past midnight, at some points laughing so hard and arguing so loud that poor Pien was startled awake by all the noise. And as the other nation reached out and pulled him under the covers so they could hold each other until the morning, he found himself reaching back. They kissed until their lips were red and they got so tangled up in each other until they couldn't distinguish between their own bodies anymore; despite how differently the day turned out from how his usual trips to Europe went, Indonesia swore that the unfamiliar city never felt so much like coming home until that night.

-----

"Where the hell is my sweater," Philippines groused.

"You threw it on the floor last night, it should be under your bedside drawer." Indonesia kissed his forehead and, keenly aware that he was not a morning person, gave him a cup of his precious coffee. He could tell his efforts were appreciated when Philippines greedily gulped down the scalding liquid. "Selamat pagi, sayang."

The other nation only pouted at him. "Don't call me sayang."

"After all the stupid things you've called me through the years? I'll call you however I like, thank you very much," he shrugged. "Besides, I'm not the one who has to leave in a few hours."

Philippines groaned as he pulled his clothes over himself. "This is so stupid. We finally get together and now we have to be separated like this? I mean, I'm really glad and I like you a lot and all, but I really wish you had a better sense of timing right now."

"I think you'll live." Indonesia hid his smile behind his cup. "I mean, you were the one that said you don't mind waiting until November to see me again."

"You just keep making fun of me," Philippines whined, cuddling up to him. Pien had even jumped up to nuzzle his neck, evidently just as clingy as his owner. "Where's the romance, Indonesia? The sweet nothings in my ear? The poems and songs you surely must've written while you pined for my presence? Am I to despair forever, having only been loved by a phantom version of yourself that will never return?"

"You've been watching too many telenovelas," Indonesia said, quickly setting both of their cups somewhere else before they had any accidents. At this, the other nation gasped dramatically and collapsed across his lap. Despite himself, he started chuckling at how ridiculous Philippines was being — really, how could he not find him so endearing?

Then Philippines suddenly turned serious. He stared up at him, his gaze piercing. "If you don't want me to go, I can just make up dumb some excuse again, you know. Just say the word."

Indonesia humored him. "And why wouldn't I want you to go?"

"Because I can't be there for you if you feel alone again," he muttered, expression tense and his mouth downturned in an angry frown. "I just feel bad that I'm leaving you so soon."

Yesterday, he would've been right to be worried. Indonesia probably would've found some roundabout way to say that he'd much rather for Philippines to stay just until he could see him off at the airport later that evening, if only to stave off that achingly empty feeling of waiting to go home and resenting time for moving so slowly. Philippines would have laughed and teased and inevitably posted about the day's events on his Instagram, to which Indonesia would look increasingly more exhausted with each new update, but he nevertheless would have allowed Indonesia to get away with delaying his plans to make him more comfortable.

But as it was, now Indonesia only remembered the way the other nation's eyes had twinkled in excitement when he mentioned Munich, so it was little trouble for him to simply smooth back Philippines' bangs and lightly say, "Actually, I was planning of sightseeing on my own today."

"Oh?" Philippines looked surprised — and pleased. "You are?"

Indonesia couldn't stop himself from flushing in embarrassment. Really, it had only been a passing thought he had after finishing his morning prayers, but . . . "All of you are always going on about how I can't enjoy myself abroad, so. I figured it was time I gave it a try."

Though Philippines probably knew he was still rather uncertain about it, he smiled anyway. "Well, as long as bring your phone this time, alright? I'm always just a text away if you need it."

"And here I thought you'd say some cheesy line about me never truly being alone since you'll always in my heart," Indonesia said, and Philippines was startled into laughter as he sat back up. "Don't worry. I've survived a long, long time without you by my side. I can take a little longer."

Philippines pecked him on the cheek, sweet and domestic. "Not too long, I hope. I can't wait to see the look on Thailand's face when we walk into November's meeting hand in hand. Maybe I should make a vlog about everyone else's surprised reactions."

"Whatever you like, sayang." Indonesia smiled as he stood, his hand reaching out. He pulled Philippines into a kiss — a deep one this time, slow and sensuous and full of all the things he felt too strongly to properly express in words — that left them both breathing heavily by the time they pulled away. Feeling uncharacteristically suave, he whispered, "Though I would prefer it if, in the short time that you're still here, you keep all your focus on me."

"Always, mahal." Philippines smiled back, eyes as bright as ever. "Always."

-----

Notes:

Title comes from the lyrics of How Deep Is Your Love, but specifically, it's a reference to the Christian Bautista cover. Bautista is a Filipino singer, and his cover was very popular in Indonesia a few years ago.

There are a lot of things I've had to simplify and outright ignore for the sake of story, most egregious being the fact that Indonesia actually wouldn't be the sole Southeast Asian nation in a G20 meeting. The chair of ASEAN is a permanent guest invitee, and since the current chair is the Sultan of Brunei, Brunei would probably in the meeting as well. Alas, Brunei isn't canon yet as of this writing. Sorry, Brunei!

Mahal and sayang are both terms of endearment in Tagalog and Bahasa Indonesia respectively, but with a catch! Mahal is a word that also exists in Bahasa Indonesia, but the meaning is "expensive" rather than "love" — in Tagalog you can use the word both ways. Sayang is a word that also exists in Tagalog, but the meaning is "What a waste" or "What a pity" rather than "love" — in Bahasa Indonesia, you can use the word both ways. So essentially, you have Philippines and Indonesia trying to be sweet to each other, but the other interprets it as a weird insult instead. It's really funny and really cute.

More detailed notes and references on my previous Tumblr post here!

#indophil #hws philippines #hws indonesia #aph philippines #aph indonesia #hws #mine