#no longer 11pm i had a nap and ate and am awake and still agree with this

[autisticmisumi]

Thinking abt trans hcs I don't think I've ever shared my favourites so. Here.

The most real and true one to me is Tasuku, Taichi, and Muku all being transmasc... Taichi looks up to Tasuku as someone cool and manly and Muku looks up to him as a "prince" and I think both those things become even sweeter if they're all trans :')

I think Madoka is untapped potential for xenogenders and neopronouns. Ignoring for a minute that JP pronouns don't really do that afaik. My rationale being: Madoka absolutely needs to do stuff that's quote unquote "cringe". I think it'd do cir a lot of good with how ci grew up to just make up something new for cleself. Yes I'm spitballing ci/cir/cle neopronouns I'm writing this at 11pm. Obviously this is also matching Sumi triangle neopronouns.

And most important actually is Guy gender... nonbinary Guy is a decently popular hc and I do sometimes get a little hmmm about it since it's obvious Why but. Well. Guy was raised as a robot, and everyone always acknowledges them as male, meaning they were also raised as a boy, meaning the presence of a perceived gender is not itself a human thing - or, at least, it isn't to them. The presence of "free will" is considered to be the defining difference between human and animal, and it's certainly the difference between human and robot. Questioning concepts like gender is one exertion of free will. If I had the brain power to think more deeply about it I'd love to write a fic about Guy questioning their gender as a humanising experience, as an example of autonomy... alas, this small paragraph is the best I can do, since this has been a thought for a couple years now.

#no longer 11pm i had a nap and ate and am awake and still agree with this #'took a nap' what am i on about. i went to sleep. because it was 11. #haruto gender is also important but i didnt write it bc i find it more difficult to explain well. but she is transmasc bigender to me #a3! #guy lastname #gai nishiki #madoka ikaruga #tasuku takato #taichi nanao #muku sakisaka

[originalmemorieshere]

Covid, The Aftermath Part 2

I’m sitting here on Friday night, August 20th, all alone in my thoughts. Yesterday my husband got up around 3am and he had a smoothie, then he had two cups of hot tea. By 8am Fred was awake again after a nap and seemed to have a pretty good morning. We took his blood sugar level, it was 305, and he needed 9 units of insulin. About an hour later he ate jello, three scrambled eggs, and some grapes. I really was excited that he was showing a sign of having an appetite. 

All day long he drank a lot of ice water. He seemed lethargic as the day wore on. He didn’t have a lot to say and he slept a lot. He had just woken from a nap and I laid down next to him. We were just talking and all the sudden the room began to spin. I am glad I was laying down, but I was gettin nauseous from the spinning. I asked Fred if he could feel the room moving or if we were experiencing an earthquake. No, it was just me. I guess it is my nerves. I’m still coughing a lot and am pretty weak.

I can’t remember for sure, but I think he had a snack or two during the day. We had an early dinner- before 5pm. He had asked for rice and green beans. I added a salad. He ate all of it. An hour after dinner his sugar was back up into the danger zone according to his monitor we had attached earlier in the day. It was 356, so he took more insulin.  By 8pm his sugar was up to 442. He took 18 units and went to bed by 9pm.

It was another night of me being on constant watch. It was after 11pm before his sugar went below 400. He was very cold and he didn’t respond when I would ask if he needed water or needed anything. I would shake him until he answered. He didn’t even get up in the night to go to the restroom. Finally, around 5am Fred woke up and went to the restroom, came back and went to sleep. He seemed out of it. His daughter had called around 5:30. He picked up the phone, looked at it and said, “no” and laid it back down. I asked him if he was going to answer and he said he didn’t feel like talking to her. He went back to sleep until 7am.

We were laying in bed talking about what we were going to do when we got up. I asked if he was ready for me to take him to the hospital. Surprising me, he agreed. We discussed the plan for him to get a shower and for us to go. I helped him with showering and dressing.  I had noticed a little blood on the towel and saw that his nose was bleeding. He coughed and I also saw blood in the waste basket after he spit. Off we went after he had a banana and some ice water. His sugar was at 351 when we left the house.

This time when we went to the emergency room, I was well aware that he isn’t going to be coming home right now. I packed him a bag and made sure he had his glasses, phone, and charger. I am sitting here now, tears rolling down my face as I remember kissing him and telling him that I would see him soon as I left the emergency room, not knowing what is going to happen to him. He looked so sick, helpless, and small with that oxygen line going in his nose and him holding his ziplock bag with his identification and insurance, overnight bag at his feet. As I turned from him, I felt the tears start. I got out of there as fast as I could and out to the car. 

I did hang around the area for an hour and a half in the city to see if the hospital would call, telling me to come get Fred and take him home. I tried to call Fred a few times, but he did not pick up. After two hours I called and found out that he had been admitted and had already had a lung x-ray. He had pneumonia and was waiting in the waiting room. At that point, I could do nothing but head on home because nobody is allowed to wait with the patients in the ER. 

It was 5 1/2 hours later that he was finally given a bed in the ER. He called me after he had been at the hospital 8 hours, but it was a strange call. He said that he had been told by an Indian nurse that I told her he was just tired and lazy, she kept asking him things like what his temperature had been in the morning, saying he should know, and questioning him on what medications he was taking.  I don’t know what all she said, because he was so irritated by it all, that he wasn’t making sense. He told her that they had a list of his medications from when he had been in last week and she still pressed him on it. He told another nurse that he did not want to have that nurse in his area again. He said she was being rude to him and he was pretty upset by her whole demeanor.

When I had called this morning for the update, I hadn’t spoken to anyone with an accent, nor had that discussion even happened. Why would I tell a  nurse he was just tired and lazy? 

After we hung up, I was upset that he hadn’t eaten since before we left the house and he had no water or anything to drink since then. At that point, I called down to the ER and did speak with a woman (was it her?) who did have a thick accent who told me that he was in room 261 and no longer in the ER. Now, I was really confused. I called him back and he said he was still in room 19 ER and that the Indian lady had better stay away from him. He also told me that he was hungry and thirsty and was going out to find someone to give him some water. 

Sometime after 6pm tonight he finally got into a room in the regular hospital. He still hadn’t eaten anything and was really hungry. I was on the phone with him a little after 7:30pm when a nurse came in to check him in and told him that the kitchen was probably closed. How could a man be in their care for over 11 hours with no food? She told him that she would see if she could get him a sandwich and he said that he couldn’t swallow the bread, so he asked for jello. She offered to bring him some ice cream and he asked if he could have two. 

Last I spoke to him our plan is for me to do a couple errands around the house in the morning, go to the dump, and then go on to stay with him for a while. He’s going to get me list of what he wants me to bring for him to snack on. This day has not been the best, but at least I know he is going to get the care he needs to get well and be able to come home. 

#originalmemorieshere #covid #pneumonia