#neiru 📱

[iammissingautumn]

not to be alterous but i was reading a post about someone’s experiences with differences between platonic and alterous feelings and it was so eye opening. I am so fully aplatonic it’s crazy, all of my friends i have different ways of being like. attracted to them alterously but it’s so nice to read something that continues to be confirmation yeah. I’m just alterous. No romance. No platonics. If I consider us friends, especially for awhile, I probably have such an interest in u and I really have never lied when I said I would date my my friends. Because people who are like that are like whoever i would choose to live my life with.

#alterous #aplatonic #aromantic #mod caden #i struggle with sometimes having lapses of apathy as well that make it a bit strange sometimes #but i’m feeling more comfortable with the language i use to describe my “attraction” #which is nice #even when it doesn’t fit inside the boxes of the word #it’s getting closer ! #maybe one day i’ll even know someone who could get it #but idk that shit crazy #neiru 📱 #orange 🍊

[missingautumn-spamalt]

i did everything so i could get to this moment. it’s not a perfect one. it’s at times barely great. but i have these things i’m very grateful for. and that’s why i do everything. so i can feel this love for the people around me and so i can learn and explore. I’ve built myself out of nothing!!!! it was all sharp edges and violent swings!!! i am a being of peace and love and it’s made out of my ability to accept myself fully. I paved my own way. I took so many crumb and turned it into a meal. And I took even more and didn’t eat a thing. I am not me without the trauma pressed into my bones. And those who do the worst will try to take claim for the beauty I’ve created!!!! They are fools!!!! I did it all myself!!! Not out of spite but in yearning!!! When I forgive them for being fools I will kiss their foreheads with wisdom no child should give their parent at my age. And that’s not now. I have so much more to do. It will continue to hurt and I will bloom through it!!! I persevere!!!

#ofc it’s 4am and i wrote this u wouldn’t catch me talking like this any other time #i mean i would say it but not like this it’s freakish #hard work kinning beato #vent #Butters 💙 #Neiru 📱

[iammissingautumn]

i’ve realized now that my heart is gonna break a thousand times because those i’ve loved for years are going to part with me and move on and find people who will love them in a way more honest to themself. and i won’t be able to give that to them. and that’s so especially sad to me. obviously that’s an internal problem that’s why i’m posting about this on tumblr . com. but it’s like. ack. my love isn’t enough. and though maybe it could be i’m not in the right position, i’m the thing i’ve been for years not what they’re meeting for the first time. i will truly never stop being Cartwheel by Lucy Dacus

#leanna firestone why do you do this to me #okay time to tag the people i would move mountains for if they looked me in the eyes and said stay we can build a life together #neiru 📱 #orange 🍊 #wolf 🐺 #andddd uhhhh. for good measure #bry 🍞 #i wrote poetry about my dream last night and then found out she dropped this music #ugh. least favorite only child was the song we reuinited with #*gets gutted* #mod caden

[iammissingautumn]

ibr i literally don’t care if i get made fun of i will scream how i love my friends from the roof top i did not spend two years with hearts in my eyes to be scared to love i did not confess what i have to not be proud of us i did not put all the thought and energy i have to be scared to love. i’m too alterous !!! i’m too full of love

#mod caden #neiru 📱 #wolf 🐺 #orange 🍊 #spring 🌻 #it’s always for u #alterous

[iammissingautumn]

and what do i feel in this moment it’s love

#mod caden #a love so good i cry a few tears even by myself #neiru 📱

[iammissingautumn]

i love you healthy conversations about judaism i love you checking your resources to make sure your being respectful i love you changing an aspect in an idea not bc it’s inherently bad but just because it’s better to be safe and certain. i love you putting effort into empathizing and understanding different life experiences and looking our brothers and sisters in the eyes and saying I’ll learn everything I can on my own and I’ll listen to you talk about it for hours if you want. i love you healthy conversations between cultures you are not in and putting in grace while allowing yourself to have an individual opinion based on being informed.

#mod caden #neiru 📱 #kinda us core this is about south park technically #but also everyday we discuss such vast things we’re so cool #this of course goes for stuff outside of judaism but this is a sp inspo #i just get so soft being able to talk about difference experiences it’s so poggers to me

[iammissingautumn]

kicking my feet and twirling my hair and i cry type asking my friend if i’m actually the terrorist of their heart or if they don’t actually love me

#HFHDJSJDHDJHD #mod caden #neiru 📱 #anjie if u see this no u don’t. #if she actually loved me she would say i’m her one and only terro/rist

[iammissingautumn]

#neiru 📱 #anjie look it’s us #posting it here as a surprise tehe #there’s another version with my hair red… #mod caden #beloved beloved beloved #yk who i love? #this girl

[iammissingautumn]

i’m thinking about that time i told my friends i made a list of my issues with each of them in a conversation with another friend. And in saying that I wouldn’t send what I said about them to them, I would send it to the other person. And I did and then surprise pikachu faced when they exchanged it too each other.

#it’s the you have so many issues and the. i have such specific gripes with you #wolf 🐺 #neiru 📱 #it was a fun conversation #i love them #two most sane ppl around me #/. is that a lie? #mod caden