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#neil *shakes fist* *is visibly shaken up*
utterdrip · 3 months
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part iv of my favorite line reads by neil
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markonasurface · 7 years
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3/50 - “I don’t want your pity, I want your absence.”
Fandom: All for the Game/The Foxhole Court Characters/pairings: the Foxes, freshmen Foxes/andreil Summary: After the freshmen find out about Neil and Andrew, a terrible practice leads to Neil saying things he shouldn’t. A/N: Because I saw this post and all I could think of was tfc/aftg. Tbh it’s all I think about these days.
http://maelerie.tumblr.com/post/135803922052/send-me-two-characters-or-more-and-a-prompt-and
*There’s insensitivity to past trauma and homophobic remarks.*
Things had been heated all practice. Strikers shoved strikers and balls were aimed at heads. Neil was being overly aggressive with one freshman player in particular.
Levi was actually a sweet kid but he was overeager and had no filter. Neil had been dreading facing him again after last night when he burst into their room unannounced.
He was just trying to be helpful when he took the room key from a pale and visibly shaken Kevin outside of Fox Tower. He didn’t think to knock as he threw the bedroom door open and yelled, “Something’s wrong with Kevin!”
Alarmed, Neil and Andrew had both sat up in Neil’s bed. The sheets slipped down to reveal Neil’s scar riddled torso.
“Holy shit,” Levi looked from Andrew to Neil. Then his eyes traveled down, following the marks of ruined skin and he said, “Holy. Shit.”
Neil self consciously pulled the sheets back up and said, “Get out.” He sounded sick.
“Kevin -”
“We heard you.” Andrew snapped. “Go wait not in here.”
As soon as the door closed Neil slipped off the bed and pulled his hastily discarded shirt back over his head. Andrew stood in front of him, a questioning tilt to his head. Neil took the armbands he held in one hand and forced himself to meet Andrew’s eyes. He nodded and they went out to follow Levi wordlessly to where Kevin sat outside of Fox Tower.
“What took you so long?” It was the freshman girl Neil had insisted on recruiting.
He looked warily at Levi, then went to crouch in front of Kevin.
“I-I-Ichir -” Kevin gulped.
“Ichirou?” Neil demanded. “Did he hurt you? What’d he want?”
“Get out of here.” He heard Andrew command behind him. The freshmen knew better than to protest.
Andrew came to stand beside Neil before reaching and tugging Kevin to his feet. He was more than a full foot shorter but he made it look effortless. He pushed Kevin onto Neil and Neil was forced to support his weight up the three stories of stairs and to their room.
When they decided Kevin wasn’t physically injured, Andrew told him to shower.
Kevin hadn’t wanted to get out of bed which meant the upperclassmen and the freshmen all arrived before Andrew’s group. Levi had been excited to divulge the gossip he had learned.
“What happened last night?” Dan asked, meeting the freshmen at the door to the lounge. “Jack said something was wrong with Kevin.”
“We were coming back from eating and Kevin was just sitting in front of the tower not moving,” Levi told her a little too excitedly. “So we asked what’s wrong and he wouldn’t talk for, like, a good five minutes -”
Jack rolled his eyes. “It was, like, three.”
Levi waved a hand at him and continued unfazed. “Finally, he just says, ‘Neil,’ and holds his hand up. He’s like shaking. So I grab his keys and run as fast as I can up the stairs and unlock their door. No one in sight. So I run to the bedroom and open the door and say, ‘Kevin needs you!’ And did you know Andrew and Neil kiss?”
Dan only raised an eyebrow. It wasn’t a secret; they just didn’t go around displaying their relationship. Judging by the freshmen’s reactions Levi had already told them.
“I’d say they do a bit more than just kiss,” Matt said under his breath.
“You guys know?” Levi was in disbelief.
“It’s not a secret,” Allison was on the sofa, looking bored.
“Why didn’t you tell us?”
Renee tsked. “It’s not ours to tell.” She never sounded like she was trying to make anyone feel guilty but it still had the desired effect.
“Then I guess I won’t talk about Neil’s scars,” Levi mumbled.
“You saw them?” One of the freshmen exclaimed.
That was all he needed to start describing what he could remember. “There was, like, this curved triangle on his shoulder with, like, small circles in it! And he’s been shot! There was a bullet scar. His stomach -”
Suddenly Levi was pulled back and slammed into the wall by the door. His face was squished against the wall but his hands were free and he tried to push himself away. He wasn’t strong enough.
Dan sighed but otherwise the upperclassmen did nothing. The freshmen shouted. Andrew just leaned in close and snarled, “Don’t talk about what’s mine.”
He gave Levi another shove for good measure then followed his group toward the locker room. Kevin looked exhausted but he glared at the rest of the team, “Stop wasting my time with your stupid gossip.”
“You just got here!” Jack complained.
“I also put in two extra hours of practice most days of the week,” Kevin reminded him.
“Hey, Neil,” Levi was waiting for him when he came out of the bathroom stall.
“Don’t.” Neil said. He had tried to tell himself that not even changing out his bottom half with the others would just feed into the freshmen gossip but after last night and arriving this morning to hear Levi describing his mess of a body, he just couldn’t do it.
“Please.”
“Fuck off.”
Neil could have been nicer. Considering the last twelve hours though, he thought he was being nice.
“Hey, Josten,” Sheena called to him. “Your boyfriend’s a psycho.”
Neil gritted his teeth. It wasn’t anything he hadn’t heard before. It also wouldn’t be the last time someone called Andrew psycho.
When Neil shoved Levi extra hard, sending him into the wall Kevin called out to him in French. “No permanent damage!”
He shrugged and moved so that another one of their teammates could make sure Levi was okay. Neil responded back in English. “We’re not short on subs this year.”
They all took their places on the court to reset. Neil took a deep breath in through his nose. He tried to squash his father’s temper down.
“Oh, captain, my faggy captain!”
“Cut it out!” Dan warned.
Jack’s mouth twisted and he kept his eyes on Neil’s. “What I don’t understand is ...” He pretended to think, then finished. “If your boyfriend is gay, was he really raped? Can you call it rape if he enjoyed it?”
Neil’s racquet was on the ground before he could think about it. He swung his fist upward to catch under Jack’s protective grid on his helmet. He jumped on top of him and shoved at his helmet to get better access to his face.
Jack managed to roll them over and get in a couple of punches but Neil was stronger and angrier. He had Jack flat on his back again in seconds, his helmet rolling away.
Neil was yelling but he didn’t know what he was saying. All he could imagine was seven year old Andrew pleading, begging to be left alone. All he could see was Drake with his pants down on top of Andrew. All he could hear was a loud thwack and laughter, manic laughter.
Being in the goal meant Andrew couldn’t really hear the banter that went on between players farther up the court. He watched Neil’s head snap up, saw his racquet fall to the ground.
Then he was on top of Jack.
Andrew heard Neil yelling, “Fuck you!”
Wymack threw the door open and shouted, “Hey! Cut it out!”
When Neil showed no signs of stopping Wymack turned to Kevin, “Help me out.”
Kevin looked only slightly bothered and called out in French, then in English, “Don’t break your hand!”
Wymack pushed past Kevin and tried to get his arms around Neil. When he finally managed to pry him off everyone clearly heard Neil spit, “He was seven! Seven! Fuck you if you think he enjoyed it!”
Andrew felt something. It almost felt like coming off his meds, a combination of phase one and phase two. He felt exhausted and sick.
Nicky was talking to him and he barely registered that it was in German. He couldn’t hear anything clearly through the roaring in his ears. He focused on keeping his face a calm mask and putting one foot in front of the other until he was in the locker room.
He took off his helmet and threw it at a wall. He heard someone yell, then realized it was himself; he was the only one in the room. He punched a locker.
Then the door opened and he froze. He didn’t turn around to see who it was. He glared at the wall and tried to get his breathing under control.
“Hey.”
“Get out.” Andrew forced himself to sound detached.
“I’m sorry.”
Andrew whirled around and the girl in front of him had enough common sense to flinch. “I said get out. I don’t want your pity, I want your absence. Get. The fuck. Out.”
Sheena left without another word. Andrew seethed. He was angry. At Neil. He punched the locker again. Then a third time.
The door opened as he swung a fourth time. “Jesus, fuck.” Kevin ran a hand through his hair. “What is with you assholes trying to break your hands?”
“Get out of here.” Andrew pulled his fist back, and glared at the dent he had made in the locker like he could melt the metal if he squinted hard enough.
“Don’t break your fucking hand.” Kevin sounded more annoyed than worried. “Betsy’s here. She wants to see you.”
“I don’t want to talk to her. Who told her to come?”
Kevin shrugged. “No one. She was with Abby when Coach called her.”
Andrew punched the locker again and felt something crack.
“Fuck! Did you just ...?”
He dropped his hand to his side and turned to face Kevin, a smile stretched his mouth wide. “I need to see Abby first.”
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