#nct dream soft angst

[writemekpop]

Birthday Blues (Part 1) | Na Jaemin

Summary: When Jaemin thinks you’ve forgotten his birthday, you have the biggest argument you've ever had.

Genre: Boyfriend!Jaemin, angst

Word Count: 1k

Jaemin was furious. It was his birthday today, and you, his girlfriend of three years, had forgotten about it.

When he woke up this morning, he could barely contain his excitement. He was expecting to see you in something red and lacey, get breakfast in bed, and have some delicious morning loving.

But to his disappointment, he woke up to you, moody, sweaty, and hurling into the bin. You were hungover from your girls’ night out the previous evening.

Soon, it was 7PM, and you still hadn’t mentioned Jaemin’s birthday.

“Could we stop by Yuta’s bar before we go home?” You asked. “They’re having a special offer. Five cocktails for five pounds! I heard they make your vomit look all rainbow-y.”

Jaemin scoffed. “That sounds just fantastic. But two nights in a row? Are you sure this drinking thing isn’t becoming a problem? Plus…” He scratched the back of his neck, awkwardly. “Isn’t there something else you’d rather be doing… especially today?”

“What’s so special about today?” you said, shaking your head. “Come on, it’s only a mile away. Do you have money for an Uber? I left my wallet at home.”

“You’re so freaking forgetful,” Jaemin snapped.

You raised your hands in surrender. “Alright, jeez! It’s just a wallet.”

“It’s not just that! What about my cat? You forgot to feed Sushi all week while I was in Morocco. She nearly starved to death! Or what about when you forgot where you parked my BMW, and I had to miss Jeno’s leaving party to search for it! And what about my bir-“

Jaemin stopped mid-sentence when he realised that you weren’t listening to him. You were busy typing away on your iPhone.

Jaemin yanked the phone out of your manicured fingers and threw it onto the floor. The screen cracked.

You gasped. Putting your smashed phone into your pocket, you turned to your boyfriend.

“Can we just… go inside?” You pointed at the bar. “I promise, everything will be-“

“Oh my god,” Jaemin said, cutting you off. “Why are you so desperate to go inside? If you really want to see your friends so much then, let’s go.”

Jaemin grabbed your arm tightly and pulled you through the door.

The inside of the bar was pitch black.

“Would you look at that?” Jaemin spat. “It’s empty. Did you forget what time you were supposed to meet up? God, why are you so dumb?”

“Jaem-“ You waved frantically at him, but he wouldn’t stop.

“You’re so disorganised… and- you’re lazy! It’s my birthday and all you’ve done is whine about your own stupid life. Why do you have to be so fucking selfish? We are done, you… you bitch!”

You and Jaemin stared at each other in stony silence. Jaemin was panting, and you were fighting back tears.

Just then, the lights flickered on.

“S-surprise,” came a bunch of unsure voices.

Jaemin turned around to see the shocked and disapproving faces of everyone he loved staring back at him.

A live band in the corner started to play ‘Happy Birthday’, but someone told them to shut up.

The room was filled with fifty of his friends, parents, cousins, colleagues… Haechan was standing in the middle of the crowd, holding a huge three-tier chocolate cake. A big banner saying Happy Birthday, Jaemin hung from the wall.

Jaemin turned to you. “You… did all this?”

Your face was wet with tears. You pushed past Jaemin and ran out of the door.

“Wait!” Jaemin shouted, but it was too late.

“Way to go, buddy,” Renjun said, slapping him a little too hard on his back. “It’s called a surprise party… ever heard of it? Y/n spent weeks organising it.”

Jaemin tugged a hand through his hair, throat dry. “I’ve really messed things up, haven’t I?”

Renjun rolled his eyes. “Welcome back to Singles Night, bud. We missed you.”

---

Jaemin ran all the way home. When he saw you in the bedroom, his heart surged. You hadn’t left!

You were facing away, standing by the open wardrobe.

“What are you doing?” Jaemin asked, frowning.

You spun around at the sound of his voice. “Packing. You said it yourself, J, we’re done.”

Jaemin ran towards you and pulled the bag from your hands. “I didn’t mean any of that! I was just… angry. I’m so sorry, Y/n.”

You shook your head, taking the bag back. “Jaemin… you called me a bitch. Do you not respect me at all? How can you expect me to stay with you after that?”

Jaemin crumpled onto the bed, tears threatening to spill. He hugged his knees tight. “I’m sorry,” he croaked.

You sat beside him on the bed, shoulders drooping.

“I’m sorry, too,” you whispered. “You deserve someone… better.”

“No!” Jaemin shook his head. “Please don’t leave me.” He leant his head against your shoulder, crying.

You sat in silence for a moment. Then you sucked in a deep breath and stood up.

“I have to,” you said. “Goodbye, Jaemin.”

You walked out of the room. A few moments later, Jaemin heard the thud of the front door.

Jaemin stood up. He looked at the picture frame on the bedside table, it was of you and him, laughing whilst sharing an ice cream.

He picked it up and threw it against the wall, screaming. The glass shattered.

He ran into the living room, head spinning. That’s when he saw it.

There was a small box on the coffee table, wrapped with a purple bow, and a message that said ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAEMIN’. He opened the box, fingers trembling.

Inside was a sleek brass ring. He picked it up and read the inscription on the ring.

“Y/n and Nana forever.”

What a fool he was.

Part 2 coming soon...

—

MAIN MASTERLIST

Let us know what you thought in the comments or on anon! 💋

#jaemin #nct dream #jaemin smut #nct smut #nct dream smut #nct imagines #kpop imagines #jaemin fluff #nct fluff #jaemin fanfiction #nct fanfiction #nct drabbles #nct reactions #nct scenarios #nct soft hours #nct suggestive #nct x reader #nct 00 line #nct 00 line smut #nct angst

[tonicandjins]

all of the girls you loved before

CHARACTERS: lee donghyuck | haechan x fem reader

WORD COUNT: 3k

GENRE: best friends to lovers, all of the girls you loved before by taylor swift

WARNINGS: none, just fluff

AUTHOR'S NOTE: this has been in my drafts for way too long. hope you like it! please consider donating/tipping me

all of the girls you loved before is the fourth installment from 23 moments with donghyuck

lee naeun, June 2013 - July 2013

Lee Donghyuck’s first love turned out to be the quickest one.

It was a whirlwind romance, like how he would describe it whenever you’d ask him. At thirteen, you and Donghyuck were finally catching up to the rest of your homeroom’s growing pains—both literally and figuratively. Your legs were longer now, albeit Donghyuck’s becoming longer than almost everyone else’s, and you were prettier than most. Letting your bangs grow was a wise decision in the summer, after all. Long gone were your chubby cheeks and you’d learned how to put on some lip tint before jumping on the bus to school. The internet was a better teacher when it comes to styling your hair; you’d never expected hairstyles come with face shapes. Meanwhile, Donghyuck, though his cheeks are still as round as they were in primary school, has learned that the hugs and kisses he used to give everyone in homeroom erupted butterflies all over.

You’d wondered, of course, because among everyone in class, Donghyuck’s probably given you the most hugs and kisses, yet you haven’t quite figured out what they meant when they say he gives people butterflies.

In the same year, Donghyuck learned consent. His mother and father gave him a lecture on why kissing people randomly isn’t ideal at his age and why consent is important. Hence, he’d stopped giving everyone random kisses. The last one he’d kissed you on the cheek was a week before summer started—not that you were keeping a record of all the stolen kisses—right when you were about to jump off the bus you and him were on.

Lee Naeun gave the first consent at thirteen. On the last day of classes.

She was moving to the US the next school year. Donghyuck made you wait by the benches as she packed up her duffel back after soccer practice.

She was taller than everyone else. Sporty and ambitious, Lee Naeun was every boy’s kryptonite. Just like how Lee Donghyuck was every girl’s.

“Can I kiss you?” Donghyuck asked. Naeun blushed like crazy. She was taller than Donghyuck, so when she’d nodded, Donghyuck had to go on his tip toes to reach her lips.

You looked away when Donghyuck got his first real kiss, wondering if the sudden pain in your stomach is the same as the butterflies that people get when Donghyuck kisses them.

kim haerin, August 2016 - January 2018

Kim Haerin was Donghyuck’s girlfriend all throughout junior high school.

Contrary to popular belief, Haerin pursued Donghyuck from the first week of classes. You and Donghyuck had moved to a different school after middle school as the one in your hometown didn’t focus much on arts, leaning towards STEM more, which, if you and Donghyuck were being honest, is the last thing you’d want to do in high school. This also meant that you and Donghyuck were new in town—the new girl and the new guy—and that people your age were particularly curious about you and Donghyuck that school year.

Oddly enough, the first thing they needed to confirm was whether you and him were dating. As soon as it was a clear no, you and Donghyuck received flowers left and right. You wondered whether this is what high school should be like and expected Donghyuck to feel the same, but that school year was different. The people liked the extroverted, friends with everybody Donghyuck, so it was easier for him to adjust to the new place and the new people.

They’d started dating the week after school started. Haerin was a part of a big group, the ones who’d studied in the school’s sister middle school down the road, and she knew everyone. She was nice, or so you’ve heard because you didn’t have that many conversations with her to confirm if she truly is, and she’d say hi to you when you passed by her by the lockers.

Donghyuck tried to take you with him whenever they’d hang out, of course, but his attempts could only do much because you weren’t into the same things as they were. Eventually, you’d found your own group and adjusted to the new school all by yourself. It made you worry about Donghyuck less whenever you’d see him all happy and loud like the person he is. While Donghyuck’s name stuck with Haerin’s all throughout high school, yours remain independent. You’d decided you’d start dating when you’re ready.

The only times you’d see each other, apart from the classes you shared, were weekends with your families. You and him talk, of course. Donghyuck at home is different from Donghyuck at school. But it was different. The memories of you and him going to and from school gradually blurred between all the people you’d met in high school.

Kim Haerin broke up with Donghyuck as soon as you all came back from Christmas break on the last year of junior high. She’d started dating the new guy from the other class who transferred all the way from Germany. She’d given Donghyuck a kiss in the middle of the empty gymnasium and told him she’d loved him but the sparks were gone.

Donghyuck waited with you on the bus stop that same day. To this day, he waits with you.

im jieun, November 2019 – December 2019

Im Jieun was one of a kind, and if you could pick, she was your favorite from Donghyuck’s long list of lovers.

She was a couple of years older than you and Donghyuck. How Donghyuck even got the slimmest chance of dating her, you have no idea. She was a freshman in college. You and Donghyuck met her at one of your seniors’ birthday party; they’d hit it off easily. They had the same personality, almost like twins, and were pretty much the perfect couple in your newly found friend group.

That year was the most life changing for him because Donghyuck lost his virginity with her, and for quite some time, similar to when he’d dated Kim Haerin, he disappeared from your life, and not that you’d cared at much at that time because you were also dating your first boyfriend, Na Jaemin.

Jaemin was everything a first boyfriend should be. Gentle and sweet, determined and future-driven, truly the kind you’d want your parents to meet. He’s been in the same class as you since junior high, but he wasn’t the kind to approach women that easily. He was brought up loyal and kind, and it showed with the way he treated you. He asked you out on a dinner for the first date, at an amusement park for the second, and a picnic by the park for the third—which was the same day he officially asked you as his girlfriend.

When Donghyuck had learned, he was as surprised as a best friend would be.

“You never told me you liked Jaemin,” he commented when you’d told him the news. He was sitting on the swivel gaming chair you and him bought as pairs right beside your bed, where you were still half asleep because he barged in at seven on a Sunday morning. Apparently, he learned it because he saw Jaemin’s Instagram story from your date with him last night.

“Because I didn’t,” you groggily replied. You squinted, trying to make up your mind whether Donghyuck’s a dream or not. “I mean, I like him now. But it didn’t occur to me until he started asking me out for dates.”

Donghyuck leaned his head against your chair, kicking his feet off the floor to spin himself around. “You never even told me you went out on dates.”

You giggled. “Are you sulking now, Donghyuck?”

He sighed. “I tell you all about the girls I date. Even the ones I dream on dating. And this one time you finally decided to start dating, I wasn’t there for you.”

You sat up, watching as your child-like best friend spins himself dizzy on your chair. “Check your phone. Every time Jaemin and I went out, I texted you.”

He sighed again, pressing his foot on your bedroom’s floor, stopping so he could look at you eye to eye. “You didn’t tell me it was a date. You said you were having dinner with him, going to the amusement with him, and hanging out with him at the park.”

“We’re 19,” you pointed out. “What would 19-year olds do alone together?”

Donghyuck tilted his head sideways. “You and I are always alone together.”

“It’s different.” You throw a pillow at Donghyuck, kicking off the blanket from your body and moving to give him some space to lay on. “Come here, you big baby.”

Donghyuck’s mouth formed into a pout but occupied the space on your bed anyway.

“I’m a big girl,” you reminded him as he rested his head on your chest. “I don’t need you to be there for me on my first relationship.”

“Ouch,” he mumbled.

“I will always need you in my life, Donghyuck,” you clarified, knowing well how Donghyuck hates being not needed. “Just, not for this one. I might actually, truly like Jaemin. He’s a good guy.”

Donghyuck hummed. “But I’m still your best friend, right?”

You laughed. Because it’s the most ridiculous thing you’d ever heard. Donghyuck will always be your best friend. You were certain no relationship would break that. You and him were past being insecure about your friendship.

“Always.”

Donghyuck broke up with Jieun before Christmas break. The reason, you have no idea. But he’d told you it wasn’t as fun as it was in the beginning anymore. And Jieun was in university, after all, and you and him had SATs to pass and college essays to ace before the school year ends.

You and Jaemin took him out for clubbing that night, in hopes of cheering him up. It was a mystery to you why he’d suddenly decided to end it when the relationship seemed like it was smooth-sailing. They’d even talk about Donghyuck going to the same university as Jieun next year. You didn’t recall any fights within the relationship, so you wonder why.

Donghyuck leaves the club without you and Jaemin.

lee naeun (again), February 2020 – April 2020

Donghyuck learned from Lee Jeno that his first love returned from the US to take her bachelor’s degree in Seoul on Valentine’s day. He found her wandering around SNU’s main lobby on the first day of the spring semester. You and Donghyuck were visiting the university after receiving your acceptance letters, looking for an apartment to share. Jaemin was going to another university, so it wasn’t wise for you and him to move in together, hence Donghyuck offered to move in with you to save up some money for rent and other expenses.

Lee Naeun stood there, still taller than Donghyuck, still the first person who ever kissed Donghyuck’s lips, still the first person you’d ever compared yourself to, wondering what she had that you didn’t.

Like the day they kissed in 2013, you looked away when Donghyuck finally reached to where she stood, wondering why, all of a sudden, many years later, the butterflies were flying all over in your stomach once again.

ginny williams, September 2020 – October 2020

Of course, the first woman that Donghyuck officially dated in university is from the UK. Jeno said he only dated her to show everyone he’s immensely improved in English.

The break-up was proof Donghyuck never improved in English. He didn’t even understand why she was breaking up with him.

park yesol, September 2021 – February 2022

You introduced Donghyuck to Park Yesol because it’s what she wanted for her birthday.

She had invited you to her 21st birthday. You and her, if you were being honest, barely know each other. You only shared a class in Literature once, so at first, it was a mystery to you why she suddenly invited you. When she’d asked if you could ask Donghyuck to RSVP with you, you’d known that it’s all she wanted from you.

Eventually, they’d start dating. Donghyuck, at that time, had been single for almost a year. He thought he convinced you that college was finally catching up on him hence he’d put a stop to his “demanding” dating life. However, Donghyuck is your best friend, and you could see right through him. You knew he liked someone he wasn’t willing to share with you, and he was probably working up the courage to ask that person out, which, when you thought about it, was new. Donghyuck was cunning and ambitious and he knew what he wanted and how to get it. He was never one to shy away from the people he liked, so it was a little suspicious that it took him almost a year to start dating again. You did not figure out who he liked, and you knew he’d only started dating Yesol to get you to shut up about it.

You and him knew it wasn’t a serious relationship because Yesol was dating other guys while she’d dated him. Donghyuck told you it felt like the relationship was just for sex because of his oozing sex appeal; you’d thrown a cushion at him when he’d said that.

Meanwhile, you and Jaemin were almost at pointbreak.

You didn’t want to spend Valentine’s Day being uncertain of the relationship would go, so you broke up with him on the first day of February. Jaemin had gotten an internship in Japan a few months ago, and the company that hired him liked him so much that they wanted to keep him while he finishes his degree virtually. You wished you could say the same, that you loved him so much you also wanted to keep him.

It was finally catching up to you and him, the distance. So, it was better you’d break it off before you and him start failing subjects just to keep a relationship steady.

Two and a half years together wasn’t enough. You and Jaemin wanted to spend the rest of your college years, at least, together. But like he said the night you’d ended it: it wasn’t worth it if it was compromising your mental health and studies. You’d cried so much that night, and you wondered if Donghyuck pretended he couldn’t hear you sobbing from the other side of the apartment.

Come Valentine’s Day, Donghyuck asked you to dress up, throwing a paper bag at you.

The place he “luckily scored” a reservation from, on a busy, fully-booked Valentine’s night, was nice. It was romantic and you were flushed and giddy from all the wine and all of the Donghyuck.

“Why are you here with me and not with Yesol?” you’d asked after the waiter filled your glass.

Donghyuck smiled at you. “I broke up with her two weeks ago.” Around the same time you did with Jaemin. “I figured if my best friend would be miserable on Valentine’s day, I should be, too.”

You laughed. “Well, you don’t look too miserable for a newly single man.”

“I’m not,” he confessed. “I’m never miserable when I have you.”

You reached out one hand, palm facing Donghyuck. He intertwined his hand with yours. And it fit perfectly. Just like the dress he got you.

your name, June 2022 – present (or alternately, sometime in 2005 – forever.)

“Lee Naeun, Kim Haerin, Im Jieun, Lee Naeun again, then Park Yesol,” you enumerate. “You were a ladies’ man!”

Donghyuck whines, begging you to stop as you go through his things in his room, particularly the notes and letters from the girls he’d dated.

You and him are moving out. Graduation is just around the corner, and you and Donghyuck decided to move on to a better place. Your boyfriend got a job in one of the biggest companies in his industry, while you’re yet to find yours.

“Don’t forget Ginny Williams,” he teases, throwing you a love letter from the bunch.

“You did not date Ginny Williams, Donghyuck. It was an illusion,” you scoff. “Tell me one conversation you had with her. A real one.”

“I swear to God, she loved me,” he answers. “Stop playing around and help me in here.”

You stand from the carpeted floor and walk towards Donghyuck as he sorts out the things from his study desk. Donghyuck starts with the tower of books and folders, organizing them alphabetically as he carefully places them on the box labeled as books. The other box is labeled as essentials; hence you start throwing his headphones and speakers and its chargers in. While doing so, you get a hold of a small box that contains what you thought were miscellaneous items mixed in with trash, until you realize what’s inside.

There are a few polaroid pictures of you and him from high school, including a picture of you and him on your high school’s graduation day, some receipts from, now you recognize, the places you’d gone to. There’s a receipt from when you and him took the subway to visit a museum at the other side of the country back in 2018, another from Valentines day 2022, when you and him celebrated being newly single, the old ticket from your senior prom when he’d gone with you, and so many more that you could recognize just from its dates.

“Donghyuck,” you whisper as you look at the box of memories. Donghyuck turns, eyes wide when he recognizes the box you’re holding. “Where… where should I put these?”

Donghyuck loved many girls in his life. You can recall their names in the order of when he’d dated them. You had your favorites and the ones you didn’t like that much. Some of your friends wonder if you’ve ever been insecure knowing you weren’t the first kiss or the first person he had sex with and if you were okay with knowing all of that. You weren’t the first and you wish you’d be the last. The only thing you’re certain of, is that he had always loved you, and that alone erases all the other thoughts.

If you could say so, you’re thankful for all of the girls he loved before because they made him the one you’d fallen for. Every dead-end street led him straight to you.

He smiles. “Essentials.”

#haechan fic #haechan fluff #haechan au #haechan x reader #haechan #nct haechan #haechan angst #haechan scenario #haechan imagine #lee donghyuck #donghyuck x reader #donghyuck angst #donghyuck au #haechan x you #nct dream #nct writers #haechan imagines #haechan soft hours #faye's moving castle #23mwd

[mayaflowerxs]

omgg hii! i'd like to request a fic of Jeno (similar to jaemin's Crazy In Love) but i wanna have the fic sweeter and cuter, as in jeno's really and deeply in love with y/n and that he always shamelessly shows how clingy he is around y/n and would do anything in the world just for her 🥺

(i wouldn't mind a little bit of romantic smut between Jeno & y/n too 🤭)

FAILED CONFESSIONS

Synopsis: The five times Jeno failed to confess & ask you out and the one time he finally found the courage. Or, in which Jeno embarrasses himself multiple times until he finally manages to do things right.

Warning: Fluff / Humor / Smut. Swear word usage, softdom!Jeno, oral + creampie, it’s on the more cliche side so beware! She fell first he fell harder trope. Idol life!

Pairing: Jeno x fem reader

1. WHEN HE WAS 8

The day you saw Jeno was at work. As a cashier, you see faces every second of every hour and unfortunately for him you wouldn’t recognize him again after that day. At least that’s what he thinks. Jeno’s used to the attention, to girls fawning over him and guys wanting to be his friends. He’s popular, aura of his is very enticing but not for you. Maybe it was because you had currently been running an eight hour shift, on the busiest day of the week and the store lacked cashiers but it seemed the tables have turned the second you ringed his group of friends.

Rowdy and in their own world, the friend group continues to have their conversation of god knows what. And it wasn’t until you asked what sort of payment will be made did he turn to face you. He’s not spiritual, not into astrology nor psychology or any of that sort of thing and yet, in that moment he wanted to asks all sorts of questions. Like how is it, that you managed to get him starstruck by merely being in his presence. Frozen in place, hands becoming clammy, throat clenching and hand half way through his pocket and fidgeting with his sleeve. His brain practically reboots until he’s able to move again. “Oh sorry, um..how much?” He asks shyly, mentally scolding himself as he tries to avoid as much eye contact.

And even though you didn’t notice the flustered state the boy in front of you was in, he felt as if you did. There’s no way you didn’t notice the nervous gulp and the struggle to take out his credit card. There’s no way you didn’t notice the way his friends began to snicker the second they realized how he got because of you. But as he swipes the card and you hand him the receipt with a quick, ‘have a good day’ he slightly wished you did notice him.

Jeno wasn’t one to waste time. Any girl he liked he was quick to ask out and yet as he grabbed all the bags, not wanting the others to help carry and slightly wanting to impress you: he walked off as quickly as he could. Forgetting about his credit card, “Your credit card!” You say and hand it out to him. A tight lipped smile, he nods and grabs it. Uttering a low thanks he was sure you didn’t even hear. Shutting his eyes momentarily and walking out of the store he scolded himself all the way to the parking lot. Throwing the bags inside and getting in, he waited for the moment in which his friends would give him hell. And when they do arrive, as expected they dived right in.

The car erupted in chaos, he felt their hands shaking him as they cooed. Jokes and laughs were made, teasing from Chenle and Haechan and squeals from Mark. He wanted to punch every single one of them. He didn’t want to be reminded of how much he acted like a fool. He didn’t want to be reminded that no matter how much he physically changed he’s still the same eight year old dork that struggled to ask you out all those years ago. A single rose in hand with a box of chocolates. Propping his glasses up the bridge of your nose as he tried to steady his breathing. You’ve been his long time crush since preschool, way before he even understood what feelings were. His best friend Jaemin at his side reminding him everything will work out. That you would say yes, he spent the day before rehearsing what’d he say. How he’d approach you, would it be in front of everyone? Would he ask you to meet him behind a tree?

During the first and second grade, he grew just the tiniest bit of confidence to talk to you but for the most part still too shy. The most he ever spoke to you was to ask you to pass him the glue. Spending most of his time admiring you from afar and when he decided he’d ask you to be his girlfriend, Jaemin was ecstatic for him. Taking him to the nearest store where he spent too much time trying to find the right rose and box of chocolates. All just for it to never be received by you. The next day came and as he walked past the gates of the school he noticed the slight sadness in his best friends eyes. “I’m sorry.”

But he couldn’t pay much mind to him. Only a few yards away from the two of them, were you and your first ever boyfriend Shotaro. A transfer from Japan and even though he only knew a few sentences the two of you quickly hit it off. Close to the hip, Jeno should’ve seen this coming. Of course he noticed how good friends you two became and yet he was dumb to think he wouldn’t ask you out. Of course he would, you’re pretty, kind, funny and sassy. All that he likes about you. And so feeling disheartened, he throws the rose into the trash can and gives Jaemin the chocolates. Ever since that day, he’s only liked you from afar. He thought as the time went on he’d forget about this ‘silly’ crush on you but that would be far from the truth.

Which is why, as he currently sits in the car. Running a frustrated hand through his hair and contemplates on what he should do. This would be the first time seeing you after high school, and yet just as he thought he moved on. BAM! Did all those jitters come flying back into the deepest pit of his stomach. I guess he hasn’t actually moved on then.

2. WHEN IN THE 6TH GRADE

The class was switching seats. And as comfortable as the students were, a part dreaded this day but others didn’t. No, others were excited, others were Jeno. As his teacher walked past each desk, one by one and calling out a name his heart only increased in beats. Inhaling sharply, fingers slightly crossed as he hoped his and your name would be called. Not even caring if he got to sit in the back of the class or not.

“Y/n.” His heart skipped a beat, watching as you send a sad smile to your friend and walk over to your new seat. At the front, left corner. Furthest from the teacher and back facing the cubbies. And the desk right in front of her, the teacher hits with her pen and reads the name. “Jeno.” Hearing his friends pat his back and tease him for having to sit in the front he pretends to look sad but doesn’t waste time to go to his new spot. A miracle it was, a blessing his teacher gave him for seating him so close to you. In front of you where he only mostly sees you. And as he sits down, he feels the familiar tightness in his throat appear. His hands becoming clammy and fingers fidgeting with his sleeves. Your eyes momentarily glanced at him and sent a quick smile before looking past him and stare at your friend. As pathetic as it was, he froze. Mind spiraling as he replays the short smile you sent him. You never smiled at him, of course you smiled before but usually it’s because of your happy state but this. This was voluntarily only for him. Not for a group of people or the situation. Only for him, and even though he shouldn’t think much he can’t help but smile idiotically at himself about it.

During the time he sat in front of you, he made it his mission to get you to smile more, and if lucky, make you laugh. So, purposely he began to make dumb decisions, crack jokes and when he notices the slight curve on your face he knew he was heading into the right direction. Letting you in on the pranks he was about to pull on his friends and feeling joyous when you helped him. Accidentally getting glue on his hair, red in the face but liked when you began to giggle and help take it out of him. With you so close and smelling your vanilla perfume, he tenses and panicked to look anywhere but you. Asking for help even when he didn’t need it with the excuse that you’re the smartest of the class, which you were. He made himself seem like the class clown who had not a single clue as to how to do his work. And even though he got in trouble a lot, he felt happy to know it was getting your attention. So much, you spoke to him every chance you got.

It almost seemed like everything was finally going right for him. You and Shotaro had broken up a while ago, and the only other boy you dated was the class clown Yangyang in the fifth grade. And as jealous he got, Jeno tried his hardest to not come to resent him because he knew he was a good kid. But his hopes were back, you were single. He’s been single even when it’s been made obvious many of the girls especially the popular ones have had a crush on him. He was feeling optimistic and so during lunch, he finds a way to sit by you every time. Even if he had to cut people to stand behind you in line, and during recess he insisted his and your friend group played a game together even when the two had different interests. But it’s not like he cares if his friends wanted to play soccer and yours wanted to play in the bark box. He only looked at you and waited to see what you had to say. And whatever you choice was even if it was to do jump rope which he was miserably bad at or sit at the bench under the blazing sun, he agreed instantly.

Valentines Day was nearing. Which meant grams were around the corner. A time in which anyone can buy someone else a piece of candy with a note on it. Whether it’d be anonymous or not but Jeno was feeling brave. This could be his time to ask you out, to confess his feelings and so with his 25 cents in hand. He waits patiently in line, and as he goes to fill out the note he overhears some of the other boys discussing who’d they be sending their candy grams to. And when he hears your name, he feels his heart drop. “Me too!” “No way! I said her name first!” “Yeah well I like her too!” “Who says she’ll pick you?” Whatever hope Jeno had that you’d accept to be his girlfriend fell down the drain. Those boys were much more taller than him, bigger. You would never go for a scrawny kid like him. And so, without his name written on there he simply writes, ‘Happy Valentine’s Day.’ And when the day comes where the names are read, he watches sadly as you get over ten grams from your friends and admirers. Slightly smiling fondly at you for the way your eyes brighten at all the times your name was called.

Dejected that when you said yes to a confession on one of the Valentine grams, it wasn’t his.

3. WHEN IN MIDDLE SCHOOL

Seventh grade by far was the most thrilling year ever. A new school meant new environment, teachers, and classmates. The size of peers doubled and as Jeno made new friends so did you. At some point he managed to move on from you, just a little though. He made tons of new friends but those that sticked were a Canadian kid named Mark and a bratty kid named Haechan. Now enrolled in a soccer team, his clique grew from four friends to almost a class full. His popularity grew as well, his hair was freshly cut. He figured new school new look, clothes were newer and of popular expensive brand. Shoes nice and shiny and backpack a plain black Jansport because that’s was all popular kids wear. Not only that, but more girls were after him. Rumors were spreading like hell fire with more kids along with the gossip so any girl got a crush on him, he’d know within a day notice.

But after the long list of girls liking him, none of the names were ever yours. His attention was drifted off from you for a while, until he saw you show up to one of his games. When he notices you on the bleachers he can’t help but freeze. Why were you here? Do you like sports? Was it because it was tournaments? Were you here for somebody? Dating someone in the team? Oh god hopefully not. And as he tried his hardest to focus, he felt his hands getting clammy again. Just knowing you’re watching, maybe not exactly at him but in general had him feeling extremely nervous. What if he messes up and makes a fool out of himself? Then again it wouldn’t be the first time he’s done it. And when the game ends and luckily winning, his eyes aren’t on his coach nor his teammates. Not even the medal he gets, no his eyes are focused on tracking you. And when he spots you he felt relieved to know you weren’t here because one of the guys were dating you. On the contrary, your friend was dating one of the players, the goalie actually.

And with an excuse in thought. He walks over to you three. “Hey.” He managed to get out without his voice shaking. “Hi!” Your friend greets, a slight nod from you which kinda saddens him. So long since the two of you properly spoke it almost seemed like you two were strangers. But he wanted to speak to you again, which is why when he had a moment with his goalie he demanded he’d bring them any chance he got. Even when no game was going on, “You have to bring them.” “Them?” “Yes, your girlfriend and y/n.” But he didn’t leave any spot for questions, sternly giving him a look he simply nods and obliges. And so, little by little does he get close to you again. So much, rumors have begun to spread. Were the two of you dating? Were there any feelings involved? And even though Jeno only laughed it off, he looked at you expectantly, hopefully. Only smiling off the sting when you simply shake your head. Not even changing his appearance did you have any interest in him.

A dance was nearing, and Jeno thought it’d be the perfect opportunity to ask you out. And this time, he had your friends support. Making sure to get you to not accept any one else’s request and even asking you frequently about Jeno. And when she assured him you’d agree if he asked you, he took the leap again. Only this time, he was successful. You agreed! Overjoyed and also embarrassed by the way he was a stuttering mess and there managed to be a crowd when he asked you. He couldn’t stop smiling from ear to ear. Shyly grabbing your hand and walking you away from the crowd, forgetting that he only asked you to the dance and not to date. So with an awkward chuckle, he lets go. When the night did come, he couldn’t stop pacing. One of the first to arrive despite his friends protests but he didn’t care. Standing by a table he watched as more and more walked through the door, his anxiety doubling as the time went on and no sign of you. But when you finally did, hair down and a part of it up. A nice flowy dress and flats to match it, your smile bright and gradient he felt himself grow weak in the knees.

He dreamed of this very moment and now that it’s here, what should he do next? He only wished to ask you out and never what to actually do when you said yes. With a slight shove from his friends, he sends them a glare and walks over to you. Awkward and ears and cheeks red the two of you dance to a slow song. The disco ball shines above you two and it seems like time stops. Taking in your beauty, Jeno can feel his heart beat in his ears. Taking another gulp to moisten his dry throat. Holding your hand gently and praying they won’t start to sweat. The proximity made him feel fuzzy inside. His other hand on your waist he tries to resist himself in pulling you in a hug. To hold you tight and call you his. To not lean in and kiss your rosey pink lips. For most of the night he had fun with you, so much fun he couldn’t stop smiling like a doofus. Like a little girl did he speak how he felt to his friends, “I think I’m asking her tonight.” And as the supportive friends they are, they patted him in the back and wished him good luck.

So he searched for you, and then wished he didn’t. He couldn’t believe his luck. Eric Sohn, another popular kiddo not really close friends with and he too is a soccer player. Just not in his team. And this same Eric was currently dancing with you on the dance floor to another slow song that began to play. And even though he couldn’t hear what you two were talking about, he knew what was asked the second he saw you nod your head excessively and the group of kids around you began to awe. Truly, he couldn’t catch a break.

4. WHEN YOU TUTORED EACH OTHER

“Can everyone be quiet please?” Jeno snaps, finally gaining some peace in the car. “She doesn’t even remember me so can we please just get going?” Jeno didn’t want to admit what he was feeling was getting the best of him. And it wasn’t fair to take it out on his friends but he just wanted to leave already. To hide in his room and sleep away the image of you. He successfully did it for a few years, surely he can do it some more. But the ignition hasn’t started, and it’s gotten eerily quiet. So much he can practically read his friends thoughts. “What?” He asks monotonously, “You should go talk to her.” “No.” With an exasperated sigh Haechan groans and begins to whine. “C’mon Jeno it’s obvious you still like her.” “Ok and? Doesn’t mean she likes me, I mean she doesn’t even remember me.” He huffs.

Just to think you didn’t even recognize him was only making him more upset and sad. All these years and nothing? Maybe you had short term memory loss or something. There was no way you didn’t remember him, I mean throughout the years the two of you spent some good time together. Making some memorable memories, were they not as meaningful to you as it was to him? Freshman year and at the brink of failing his English class, top of your class and was asked if you could give him a hand. And as the sweetheart you are, you agreed. He still remembers how his throat closed up on him when he saw you enter. He immediately stopped slouching and pulled back a chair for you. Organizing his stuff so there’d be space for you. The first few times were quiet as he felt embarrassed by how bad he was at it.

But then he realized you weren’t so perfect either, you struggled in Math. And he was great in that subject. And so for a fair trade you began tutoring each other. Either at school, before or during lunch, after school at his or your house. At times the two of you got distracted and began having random conversations and playful banter. Watching movies and even staying for dinner. The two of you got so close, you even shared your first kiss together. But it was an accident, at least the first time. Jeno wanted to teach you a dance move and when he encouraged you to try, your socks caused you to slip. Instincts kicked in and before he knew it, he was quick to grab you only to fall alongside you. Falling on top of you and lips planting full smash on yours, a shocked pause occurred. Not a muscle was moved and it seemed like the two of you were afraid to make the next move. By the next time you tutored there was some awkwardness but mostly tension.

And when you excused yourself to go to the bathroom and came back to him standing up to stretch, he came face to face with you. Merely an inch away and as the two of you struggled to not look at each other’s eyes or lips, you two shared similar thoughts. You’d lean in and kiss again. He felt overwhelmed with emotions. He can’t exactly decipher what he’s feeling, the wonder of what your lips would feel like and here he is kissing them again only this time for real. Kissing you like there was no tomorrow. Leading you to your bed, ignoring the loud crunches your papers made. Sighing happily when you run your hand through his hair and pull away to take a breather before leaning back in for more. House with no parents, the two of you spent the rest of the night wrapped in each other’s arms.

That night, you took each other’s virginities.

The purity ring he once wore now dangled around your neck. Luckily your parents didn’t know what that was and assumed it was yours, but Jeno wasn’t so fortunate. He got grounded, berated and shamed. How someone so young could be causing such reckless behavior but at this point in time he was in too deep. He felt this way for a while but never acknowledged it but he knows now. And despite his parents saying he’s too young to know what he’s truly feeling he knew it was real. He knew his love for you wasn’t all in his head. And he certainly knew, he didn’t regret giving you his v-card. Something no one knew, not his best friend or anyone else except you and his parents. It was a shock when he gave you his ring, you assumed he’s been without his virginity and to know you weren’t the only one that lost it, you confessed to him the truth. Guilty, he looks down shamefully. “I should’ve known, I’m sorry it should’ve been special.” “But it was.” Cupping his face and lifting his head to look at you, you can see the twinkle in his eyes the second he glanced at you.

You notice how his pupils dilate and the puppy eyes take form, how at ease he gets and his hands itching to touch you. Yearning for your comfort. “I’m glad it was you that took it, wouldn’t want any one else.” You mumble and close in on his lips.

Leg bouncing as Jeno waits impatiently for Mark to start driving off he rubs the inch on his skin, his shirt slightly reveals his abdomen. The black and red ink apparent As it rests neatly above his v line, a tattoo of a stem with two cherries. A date on it with initials. Your initials. To symbolize the day he popped your cherry, a day he’s never forgotten.

“Well I’m sure she was just too tired, it’s busy in there. You should at least think about coming by some other time and getting in touch with her.” Renjun tries to convince but he and the others can tell their friend has already begun to think about all his memories of you. Even the hurtful ones. Like when he prepared to ask you out with a poster and a bouquet of flowers. The two of you were practically inseparable, already acting like a couple no way it can go wrong. But it did, horribly. He convinced you to meet him out on the track, where he thought he would be able to get some alone time with you but that wouldn’t happen when the kids from p.e would be using it for their run day. Jeno should’ve specified, he should’ve made sure it was clear when he gave some of his classmates each a rose to give to you. A trail until you found your way towards him, but not a single rose was given to you. No instead, to a completely different a girl. The popular girl who’s been heavily crushing on him since the 7th grade and never had her feelings reciprocated.

More and more students piled up, a crowd forming and as she made her way down to the last rose Jeno felt his insides fill with anxiety. Still completely unaware that the person nearing wasn’t you. The horror to see the crowd part way not for you but for her. A bouquet of roses in hand as she read the poster he had in his hands. Phones out, video recording and whispers of encouragement. And when she shrieks and shakes her head. The crowd went wild, clapping and whistling for the new couple. And as he stood there mortified with the chick’s arms wrapped around his neck he grew oblivious to you who merely stood a few feet away. Heart broken and hopes destroyed, feeling stupid for thinking he’d ask you to be his. To think that night meant a lot to him just as it did to you. So that’s why he invited you, you assumed. So that you could see how he’d prove to you that day meant nothing to him, and how easily replaceable you were. So with a broken heart, you turned around swiftly and wiped off the tears from your cheeks. A new profound hatred for him.

5. WHEN HE SAW YOU CRYING

For two years you went ignoring his very existence. A senior, your last and final year before leaving grade school. One more year before leaving the city behind, your childhood home and moving on somewhere far away. A new start for you. During those two years, you had tried to do your best with getting by but your hatred for the school increased. You grew to hate the homework, the teachers, the peers, everything about it brought wrath. The idea of having to go made you want to cry and only thinking about having to wake up and attend had you stressing. You didn’t know exactly what caused that switch but you had a hunch it was the day you cried over Lee Jeno. After the misunderstanding at the track he was quick to make it clear he wasn’t referring to her and even though he was met with a slap in the face and accusations of messing with her feelings, he didn’t care. His only focus was you and yet when he noticed your sudden coldness towards him it worried him tons. Avoiding him at all times, not responding to his text messages and even stopped the whole tutoring program.

You stopped going to his games and when his team mates girlfriend was around, you were no longer with her. It hurt him to know how easily he lost you, so close. So close and yet you had managed to slip through his fingers again. And even though you tried to prevent crossing paths with him, it seemed like that wasn’t his intentions. No he searched for him, purposely walking past your class to run into you. And during lunch where you’d stay in the library, he would too. Sitting from afar but looking after you. And the times you met eyes, he would send you a soft smile only to falter when you immediately looked away. To say his heart didn’t sting would be a lie, he could no longer focus during practice. The gym wasn’t doing much to keep himself from thinking about you and at night when alone with his thoughts, all he can reminisce about are the days he spent with you. Trailing over his finger and feeling the emptiness of his ring, it had him thinking. Did you still have it? Did you throw it away? He couldn’t dare check, worried his heart wouldn’t know how to deal with the pain of you tossing his ring. Not when it held so much value of what took place for him to give it to you.

For two whole years he was left in the dark. Did you see what happened? You must have, he asked you to be there. By the next day it seemed like the whole school found out about it even more when the videos went around. He wished he could explain to you it was all a big mistake. And yet, he was a coward. Tail tucked between his legs, he hid in a corner and bowed down because he was afraid of confrontation. Of the possibility of you rejecting him even after explaining he only has eyes for you. That he only loves you. And with that in mind, everything began to slowly slip. His grades, his social bar, his ambitions. He quit soccer despite all those who tried to get him to stay. He started turning in lots of late assignments and most times, never even bothered to do them. He found his way into drinking most weekends, and smoking in the empty parking lot. His mood definitely dampened over time. No longer in the mood to go have fun, only shakes his head No and goes home where he’d lock himself in his room for the rest of the day. He began getting into situationships, and as messy as it got he didn’t stop.

Eventually it’s how he got his playboy reputation. Always seen with a new chick by his side and when he was no longer interested, he tossed them aside. You on the other hand managed to move on, you found yourself a new guy. And for those two years, you dated. Many saw how serious you quickly got with him, complimenting how well the two of you were for each other. Made for each other. Just the sentence itself had Jeno rolling his eyes. Party after party, it’s all he ever hears the second while there: your boyfriend waltzed in. It seemed like only he knew how fake your ‘lovely’ boyfriend was being. How he enjoyed the attention he gained from girls, how he simultaneously flirted back with them. How his sweet boy demeanor changed the second you left and spoke vile about women like they were objects. A toy, and even though Jeno had no place to talk he felt enraged to hear the son of a bitch speak about you so lowly. You weren’t his, ‘bitch’ you’re his girlfriend not a dog. You’re not meant to be a distraction instead a human he should love and cherish. And as much as he wishes to punch the living shit out of him, he refrained from doing so. He was no longer in your life, he shouldn’t be getting involved in your business.

But when you cried that night. The night of one of the regular parties that happened on Saturday’s. When he was shocked to see you enter. You’ve always hated parties he knows that because you told him. And yet here you were, walking in completely lost and uncomfortable. Tugging your thin sweater closer to you as you’re in search for your boyfriend. His eyes trailed your every move and when he sees you go upstairs, he’s about to make his way after you but is stopped by a manicured hand. Feeling their other hand come behind his head and avert his attention. Pushing him up against the counter but his focus wasn’t on her. Even when she began to brush herself on him, he continued to divert his eyes over to the stairs. And when he suddenly sees you coming down and push through the crowd of bodies hurriedly and a hand over your face, he knew you saw something you wish you didn’t. Quick to brush off the random chick, he goes after you. Demanding the annoying people standing in the middle of the room to get out of his way and when he finally catches up to you outside, his heart breaks upon hearing your small sniffles.

“Y/n…” you heard his voice but this only caused you to look away pathetically. Feeling embarrassed that he’s seeing you in such a vulnerable state. Humiliated that you fell for your ex’s tricks and had to find out the hard way that he was just a pig like every guy in high school. “Go away.” You get out with a croak in your voice. But he didn’t, no he stayed. He sat besides you on the steps and stayed silent as he watched you with sad eyes. “Stop pitying me.” “I don’t.” Scoffing, you wipe your eyes and roll them afterwards. “Of course you do, I’m crying over a guy who used me. Who cheated on me. I was just another chick he used, just like what you do.” A sting to his chest, he felt himself sobering up quickly. You weren’t wrong, you look down at his appearance he has changed vastly. Wearing almost all black, and clothes reeking of nicotine. Mouth smelling like beer and hair oily for the lack of regular washing. “I may not be the guy who should say this but, you deserve better. And I’m sorry that dirtbag couldn’t see how good he had it with you. That he made you cry.” He softens his eyes the second you turn to meet his. For the first time in two years his face was no longer cold stone. He wasn’t miserable or serious, he was at ease and a boy in love. A boy who silently begged for you to love him back.

“I’m sorry I made you cry.” His voice broke letting that out. The memory of seeing a small tear fall from the corner of your eye when the two of you met eyes from across the library. Right before you looked away. The last time you’d look at him for the next two years. Hands balled at his sleeves, his throat begins to tighten up, picking at his nails as he continued to stare into your orbs. Worried if he did anything else he’d break down. When he sees you let out a light chuckle, you wipe your tears away and dig something from under your shirt. Surprised when he sees the familiar silver ring, his purity ring. “Can you believe i still have it?” At loss for words, he averts his eyes from the ring to you again. “I thought the day you asked me to meet you at the track would be the day you’d ask me to be your girlfriend..” you chuckle hurtly at the memory. He could say something, right now. He should say something, but nothing comes out. So he waits for you to talk again, and hopefully he’ll find the courage while you do.

“But I was delusional, so I left. Because it was the only way I can move on. From you, from the hurt I felt. I thought getting into a relationship would help me do that but instead it only led me down to a path filled with more pain.” “Y/n…” he said desperately but you only shaked your head. “It’s okay.” You smiled softly at him. “I was wrong, and I moved on.” No, please don’t move on. Standing, you wipe off any dirt on your jeans and fixed your hair. “Think it’s best I never let another man in my life again. Love sucks anyways right?” Silent, he only nods merely just to agree with you. But it’s not what he’s thinking. Despite the pain he still wants to feel love. He still wants to love you and still does. No love doesn’t suck because despite it never going his way, he’s never regretted the special moments he shared with you.

About to leave, he stands and grabs your hand. “Y/n please wait-“ “Jeno!” He hears the high pitched voice call out to him. Raising a brow, you nod over to her. “Someone’s waiting for you mr. hotshot.” Shaking his head, he keeps a firm grip on your wrist and doesn’t bother looking back. “Please don’t go.” He pleads. “There’s nothing for me here-“ “Me. I’m here.” Stepping closer to you, he towers over you. A growth spurt that made him a good inches taller than you. “Funny, good to know you haven’t changed entirely.” Before he gets to explain that he isn’t joking, he gets pull roughly. Turned around and is met with the irritation on the girls face. “What the hell?! You’re supposed to be here with me and I find you outside with some chick?” “She’s not some chick!” Eyes widening, she scoffs and shakes her head. “So what is she your girlfriend now?” She asks sarcastically.

“So what if she was?” Surprised, she drops the attitude and huffs. “What?” Nodding, he feels all those sealed feelings begin to boil up. “You heard me.” Snickering she shakes her head. “C’mon Jeno who are you kidding, you don’t date. You only kiss and hook up-“ “Yes because I had no other choice given it was the only way to bury my feelings for her alright!” Shocked, she’s at loss for words. “That I’ve loved her since the first grade and nothing ever seems to go right because I only ever end up pushing her away and I can’t eat, think, sleep right because she’s always on my mind 24/7 and hooking up with nuisances like you was the only way I could temporarily forget about her. But that didn’t work because now I’m here potentially going to lose her indefinitely because you won’t stop cutting me off when I’m on the brink of confessing my feelings towards her and to finally ask her the question I’ve been dying to ask since I was 8 and that’s if she’ll do me the honors to be my girlfriend!”

An eery silence had consumed around him. Only the faint sound of grasshoppers and the beat of the music coming from inside the house. But it wasn’t until a voice broke it, did he feel the blood in him run cold. “What?” Forgetting you were there the whole time, he tenses up. Turning around slowly where he sees you standing there confused and surprised. His brain seemed to go blank, struggling to find the right words and when he watched you run off he could feel his heart shatter into a million pieces. So you really didn’t feel anything towards him anymore. He assumed. Brushing past the chick standing there awkwardly, he goes inside for a much needed drink. Grabbing the first bottle of vodka and downs a sip. He drinks, and drinks until the music only become sounds to him and he lost himself through the crowd. And even though he struggled to even piece together a coherent sentence, he seemed to sober up enough the second he finds your ex coming down the stairs with a girl in his arms. A smug look on his face, a hickey on his neck with her lipstick on his lips. This pissed him off, how could he be such an idiot to lose a gem like you. To ever think to hurt you. He saw red, he no longer cared what his friends had to say. Even when Jaemin and Renjun tried to get him to sit down and cool off he only shrugged them off.

He went straight towards the guy who hurt you. Roughly pulling him back by his shoulder, only a short hey escapes his mouth before receiving a hard punch to the jaw. That night, Jeno made his first ever felony and ended up behind bars for the night.

“Please just drive.” Jeno tells Mark and with a reluctant nod, he turns on the ignition and drives home. On the way there, Jeno was left with his thoughts. Silently begging to think of something else but all that flashes through his head is the taste of your lips. Your adorable smile, the contagious laugh and the warmth of your embrace. A single tear falls down his cheek and quickly wiped it. Even after all these years, when you ran away and never spoke to him again. When you didn’t even graduate at the same school and instead moved away, when he stopped seeing you entirely. After all that time, he’s still in love with you. Because as many came and gone, none managed to fill the void that occurred when you left. None could make him smile the way you did, laugh they way you did, love the way you did. And even when you feign to not remember him, he remembers you. And while you may have already forgotten about him, he didn’t because he never did. He loves you, so so much and it hurts.

6. WHEN HE SHOWED UP AT YOUR HOUSE

Seeing him after all those years felt like a time relapse. After a stressful shift, you were ready to clock off. Ready to tell whoever began to pile their stuff at your register to find somewhere else to pay but when you saw him. It’s like you couldn’t utter a single word. Your heart felt like it ran a 100 mph, you felt yourself heating up and breathing getting heavier. Would be recognize you? It has been almost six years since high school but you hadn’t change a lot, of course you matured but anyone who knew you would recognize you. And Jeno, he still looked the same other than his hair was now dyed and he was buffer. Jaw more chiseled. But it was him, it was the same Jeno. Your Jeno. And when you asked how they’d like to pay you made an effort to not look in his direction even making sure to have asked one of the other guys. Too anxious to meet him face to face, but he was the one who paid. The one who looked up at you, he recognized you. The way his cheery self butchered the second he saw you. How quiet he got, but you feigned ignorance. Pretended you didn’t remember him and only hoped he wouldn’t ask any questions.

You should’ve felt glad he didn’t, but you weren’t. And when you watched him quickly walk off leaving behind his card you made the impulsive act to call out for him. Finally looking at him, you couldn’t read his facial expression. He seemed, conflicted. And when he had since left, you were left alone with your thoughts. Making your way to the locker room where you would think back to all the memories you had with the man. You tried to move on from him, pretend he no longer existed and you thought you were doing a good job at it. But all those repressed emotions were hitting the surface, by the time you were headed off home you never would’ve known to prepare yourself to find the very man standing outside your doorstep. Head down with AirPods in, arms rested on his knees and he doesn’t look up until your headlights shine on him. Nervous and anxious, he’s quick to stand on his feet and play with the hem of his hoodie. Eyes widen when you get out, taking so careful steps towards him. There’s silence, and it seems like the two of you don’t know how to begin a part of Jeno is beginning to regret finding your address. Maybe you truly did forget about him and now thinks he’s some stalker waiting for you to come home.

“Jeno.” You say softly.

So soft and yet he still heard it. Heart rate jumping and throat closing in on himself. “How did you know I lived here?” A nervous chuckle, he cheeks become a light shade of pink. Balancing his weight on either leg, “Im friends with one of your old classmate buddy, she uh told me where to find you.” Ah, the very one who dated his teammate the goalie. “…So how you’ve been?” You ask after a moment of silence. But that’s not what he wanted to hear. At least not now, no he wanted to explain himself. Explain everything that went down years ago, ask you why you ran. Why you left. A part of him wanted to demand you some much needed explanations while the other wanted to break down and hold you tight. But he refrained himself from doing so, so instead he only nods and shrugs his shoulders. “Okay, I’m living life so that’s good.” “What are you doing here?” Chuckling, he looks around. “I’m still trying to figure that out myself.” A momentarily silence engulfs the two of you, staring at each other but the two of you begin to make quick steps closer to each other. Opening your arms and engulfing each other into your embrace. He hears you begin to cry, and to repress his he nuzzled his face in the crook of your neck. “I’m sorry I ran.” You manage to say out loud. “I’m sorry I made things worse.” A single tear falls from his eye, fisting his hands on your sweater and pulls your closer to him.

“No, I’m sorry I never made myself clear.” Pulling away, he cups your face. “I’ve liked you since the first grade, and as hard as I tried I failed. I failed to confess to you and when it was most important I messed that all up by making it seem like I was asking someone else when I wasn’t. I should’ve told you how I felt under better circumstances but I didn’t because I was filled with guilt and alcohol.” He sniffles and leans closer to your hand that’s raised to wipe the tears off his face. “I love you y/n, I’m sorry it took me more than ten years to tell you that. I’m sorry I was a coward and hurt you, and I’m sorry I’m too late.” He goes to move away from you but you don’t let go. Instead your grip on him tightens. “Why do you say you’re too late?” Unexpected by the question he stutters out an incoherent response. “I’ve always liked you Jeno.” Freezing, you smile at the confused state he’s in.

“You’ve always been oblivious haven’t you?” Feeling his cheeks warm up, he tugs the back of his hair and chuckles awkwardly. “I don’t- I’m not-“ “The only reason I’ve dated so much is to forget about you. I always wished you’d ask me to be your girlfriend. Always wished there was a chance you felt the same way, when the day I saw you and her…it hurt.” Feeling the guilt wash back up on him, he gently holds your hands. Rubbing soft circles on them nervous you’ll pull your hands away. “Which is why I cut you from my life.” Ouch. “But the night of the party, when you confessed your feelings about me, I didn’t know how to act. I couldn’t believe you liked me this whole time, I panicked and so I ran. I ran until I didn’t look back and it only made things worse.” Cupping your face, he tilts your head to face him. “I love you.” He says wholeheartedly.

“Ask me.” Raising a brow, you giggle and ask the question again. “What you’ve always wanted to tell me?” When the realization hit, he almost couldn’t believe it. Definitely not how he’d liked to ask you but he worries if he waited for the ideal moment then he’d never become yours. “Y/n…” he clears his throat. Hands beginning to sweat, “Will you be my girlfriend?” He hates how time seems to be passing by super slow. Every second is filled with dread, worry you’ll say no. Fear you’ll realize you don’t want this and reject him. But when he sees you grin and nod your head, a cheery yes all that worry is thrown right out the window. And instead, he picks you up and spins you around. “Yes?” He wants confirm, “Yes!” He didn’t ask your for hand in marriage and yet it still seems just as special. So much time went by, and just when he thought he’d never get the girl of his dreams. To confess his feelings, it did. Setting you down, he gives you no time to speak for he’s smashing his lips on top of yours.

Butterflies and fireworks go off, humming by the softness of your lips and your perfume hitting his nostrils. Like he just arrived in heaven, he’s ascending further the more he continues to kiss you. He loves it, loves the feeling so he deepens the kiss. Tilting his head, a hand behind your neck and pressing lips harder on yours. Moaning when coming in contact with your tongue. All his love and yearning for you has begun to spill through the kiss and it seems like you’re feeling the same. Feeling your hands pull him by his belt loops, walking forward until he leans you up against your car. He didn’t care who could potentially see, if anything he’d make it clear he’s now taken by the love of his life. The girl he’s been crushing on since the first grade, who has agreed to be his girlfriend. And when an elderly man walking his dog walk by and groan in disgust, he simply gives him a wink and presses his body on top of yours, in love with the whimper you let out. He wants to hear more of it, but he can’t push his limits. He just got you, he must be patient it’s the least he can do.

Pulling away to catch your breaths, he looks at you with a certain fondness. A smile on his face as he leans in and presses a kiss on your forehead, your cheek, temple and nose. “Mine.” He sighs contently on top of your lips before going back to kissing you. Spending another hour with you propped on your trunk and him nestled between your legs, lips locked onto yours. A perfect way to start your blossoming relationship.

Jeno hasn’t stopped showing his affection since you’ve said yes. Not caring what his friends had to say, even when they made kissy faces and poked fun at him for being so love sick. He loves expressing his love for you. It’s so obvious to everyone how much the man loves you, practically worships you. To every request you make, he obliges. With a simple plea and he’s on his knees for you. Dating for a few months and nothing has changed. Attached to your hip, he’s protective and caring. Helps with handing you things that’s too high for you, carries your purse and shopping bags. Moves the shopping cart as you grab the items. Brings in the grocery bags and refuses for you to carry any, opens doors for you and gives you pieces of his food with an excuse that he’s not that hungry. He cuddles you when he says he’s tired, cold, sick but really it’s excuses just so he can hold you. He nuzzles his face in your neck as a silent request to kiss him. Placing his head on your lap when he wants you to run your hand through his hair.

He even lets you dress him up, put crazy makeup on him and do any of the trends you see on Tiktok just to please you. So when his friends enter your home and sees you reapplying some of your lipstick meanwhile Jeno’s face is absolutely covered with your lip stains all over his face they point and laugh but he doesn’t care. A fuzzy hair band of yours pulling back his disheveled hair you fluffed up, and a loved up expression as he was reliving all the kisses you left on him merely a few minutes ago. As the time went on, his clinginess grew which meant more attention given. Such things like kisses and when those turned heated it would only be a matter of time before the two of you would have sex. But it hasn’t happened yet. That was until Jeno invited you to a dinner party, jaw dropped when he notices how gorgeous you looked. Hair and makeup done and the dress fitting so pretty on you. You look so good he couldn’t help but have you sit on his lap for most of the time, not trusting the strangers around you. Arms rested neatly on your lap, rubbing up and down your thighs. Biting his lip to hold back a groan when you moved too much.

A heated make out session in the bathroom ended in the two of you leaving sooner than the others. And when you arrived home, clothes were discarded until the two of you were bare for each other. The sheets over the two of you, dark room but the light of the moon shines through your window. Giving Jeno a perfectly view of you in pure bliss as he entered you. Quickened his pace after given the okay signal and pounded into you when you begged for more. Holding your hand that went to wrap around his neck and pressed reassuring kisses when he fucked you deeper. Arms resting in either side of your face, caging you in and lifting your leg to rest on his shoulder for better access. Leaning his hand down to run quick circles on your nub and asking if you were close. Softly kissing your face when you finally do come for him. “So pretty.” He mumbles and sets your leg down, only to be surprised when you flip him around. Sat neatly on top of him and having him through his head back and let out a loud groan when you sit on his dick. Grabbing your waist to steady you, he curses under his voice and admires how your breasts bounce when you do.

Pupils dilating even further when he stares at the base of his cock, how deep you take him. Loving how well his fits neatly inside you. Loving the way your warm walls tighten around him, in love when his tip makes a small dent on your lower abdomen and overall loving how well he’s pleasing you. So angelic, he wants to see you in this state for hours. And that’s exactly what he does. By morning, he’s calling in with no intentions of getting out of bed any time soon. Starting the fun from the previous night all over again. If possible he’s sure he’s fallen even more in love with you, and he was certain you were always meant for him.

So by the end of the year, he put a ring on your finger

#nct x reader #nct scenarios #nct imagines #nct smut #nct reactions #nct dream fluff #nct dream angst #nct dream imagines #nct dream #nct dream smut #nct jeno #nct jeno imagines #nct jeno smut #jeno x reader #jeno imagines #jeno soft hours #jeno scenarios

[ohmygs-blog]

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ

texting your boyfriend! jaemin

— idol ver!

#nct dream #nct #nct scenarios #nct drabbles #nct fanfic #nct 127 #nct fake texts #nct imagines #nct fluff #nct x oc #nct comfort #nct thoughts #nct texts #nct soft hours #nct soft thoughts #nct angst #nct x reader #nct x you #nct na jaemin #na jaemin #nct dream jaemin #nct jaemin #jaemin drabbles #jaemin x reader #jaemin x y/n

[mystverse]

EVERYDAY DRABBLES - ¹ L.HC

You should have seen it coming in your hindsight. Donghyuck shouldn't be home today. He should be in the practice room right now, practicing for the upcoming world tour, but when a warm body drops on top of you, you know that it's him. You had texted the gc that you'll drop by with dinner, and you did, but it's not time yet for the dreamies to end the practice, and you don't hear the other guys.

"Hyuck- get off!" You try to push him away from you, but he just huffs and sits up, mumbling, "So much for coming early. Not even a kiss. So mean you are. I'm your boyfriend, woman." And so you do kiss him gently, cradling his cheeks in your hands. It's been hectic for weeks. If he's free, you'd have classes. If you were free, he'd be at his schedule. Being the shy one, you've always had your hesitations and you've kept those to yourself along with your hands which he'll much prefer it on him. But it is different when he tells you what he wants. He just wants to wrap himself around you and never let go, "Don't you miss me?" He nuzzles into your neck, "I miss you so much, you know?" And you know he means it.

"I missed you so much, too." You just stare at him with a smile so wide that it hurts your cheeks, proceeding to kiss his moles. He blushes.

He freaking blushes.

The guy who loves to fluster you. The guy who has always been so smug. The guy who is your perfect boyfriend just blushed.

"Oh my God! Are you blushing? Hyuck, are you really blushing? I need to get a picture!" You look for your phone, but he tackles you to bed. Snuggling into your neck, he pins your wrists on the sides, "Please, shut up."

: MYST

#nct dream #nct hard thoughts #haechan #nct scenarios #nct soft hours #nct fluff #nct #nct 127 #nct u #nct angst #nct smut

[everything-fine-n-peachy]

time capsule (l.mk)

pairings: mark lee x reader genre: fluff (and some angst) summary: overachiever mark lee falls for overthinker y/n. mark is smart but he is also very much naive. y/n is also smart but very much hostage to the voices in her head. they are also both 16. (a/n yes, i like to write mark in bus rides idk, it's a vibe)

Mark does not know what to call what you two share. He only knows that he likes the feeling of your fingers intertwined with his, the sound of your voice, and maybe the fact that you actually find his jokes funny. 

You are his panic room. He likes to curl up in your embrace when the world gets too much. You are his solace. There is something about you that allows Mark to remember that he is a man and not a machine. 

Your head rests on his shoulder as you both watch the sunset from the bus. The buildings blur and the trees and the sky all blend together like those spacetime warps they show in the movies. Mark wishes he could freeze this moment. 

He knows that when the bus stops at your street, you will get down and summer will officially begin. He tries to focus on the faint sound of the radio instead of the dread that’s been building in his stomach for days. It’s his hands that move on their own finding yours. 

You meet Mark’s gaze with a questioning look. He gives you that shy smile that you’ve grown to love. The golden light that filters through the windows makes the sight even more heartbreaking. 

You know that once the bus stops on your street, Mark will wave good bye and summer will officially begin. His grip tightens on your hand. A gentle squeeze as if to remind you that you still have a couple of minutes left. 

And then what? After this summer, the final year of high school would begin. Mark would take over as student council president and co-captain of the dance team. On top of that, he would also be expected to maintain perfect grades and get into a good university. You, on the other hand, were aiming for high honors and that evasive internship at one of the biggest companies in the city. 

“What would we be if we weren’t like hamsters running endlessly on wheels?” Mark asked that afternoon as you strolled through the shops eating ice cream together after the last day of school. 

The wind blew against your cheeks, the warm breeze reminding you of the oncoming heatwave. “I guess I’d be a painter,” you chuckled, “but I’m not any good at it.” “I’d be a pop star,” he replied with a straight face before giggling. You follow suit, unable to resist such infectious laughter. 

You’re brought back to the present by a familiar blue house a few blocks away from your street. Mark finds himself unable to look away from you, transfixed by the remaining flecks of light that catch on your glasses. 

He knows well enough that grief shouldn’t be stolen from the future. But could he really help himself? The pressure to live up to everyone’s expectations from this year alone was almost insurmountable. Had it not been for you, Mark felt like he would go insane. 

You swear you feel Mark’s grip tighten just a tad more but when you look up at him his gaze is far away. Sometimes you aren’t sure if he’s even real to begin with like anytime you could wake up and Mark wouldn’t even know who you were. But you push those thoughts away. Slowly, you lean back into Mark taking in the subtle scent of laundry detergent on his shirt. You snuggle into his neck and close your eyes feeling content at least, for the time being. 

Mark thinks you are the most adorable person in the world and for all the achievements he has to show, to him being trusted by someone like you was one of his favorites. 

“We should catch a movie next week,” he blurts out. “I mean, if you want to, and if that’s okay,” he fumbles. 

You study his face, keen on the blush that spreads on his cheeks. With a smile you respond, “I think next week’s good.” 

The bus finally stops at your street and you collect your things as you turn to wave at Mark you discover that he’s stood up along with you. Puzzled, you shoot him a confused look. 

“Isn’t your stop farther?” 

“Yeah, I mean it’s fine,” he chuckles, getting off the bus with you.

The walk to your house is silent but not uncomfortable. You sneak tiny glances at Mark in an attempt to figure out why he decided to walk the rest of the way home. 

No sooner do you reach your fence and turn to Mark, “So, thanks for today. I guess I’ll see you next week?” 

Mark smiles shyly, stepping closer to you. He takes your hand in his before bringing your knuckles to his lips and leaving a soft peck. He pulls you into a big hug before walking backwards, “See you next week.” 

You’re a blushing mess as you slip past your fence waving at Mark. You aren’t sure what it is the two of you share but you’d do anything to see that shy smile again. 

And so Mark walks the whole way with a spring in his step. There exists the feeling of unease bubbling beneath the surface. The promise of an earful from his dad the moment they find out about you or the very likely possibility that his friends will all have something to say about this whole ordeal. 

But on this pleasant afternoon Mark chooses to be blissfully unaware. The kind of naivety reserved for 16-year-old, boys who were helplessly infatuated. Today, Mark Lee thinks he will smell the flowers on his journey home.

#nct scenarios #mark lee scenarios #nct dream fluff #mark x oc #mark lee #nct dream imagines #nct imagines #mark lee imagines #nct fanfic #mark imagines #mark lee fanfic #nct soft hours #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 imagines #nct 127 fluff #mark lee nct fic #mark lee angst #nct angst #nct dream angst #nct 127 angst #nct high school au #mark lee high school au

[donkey-hyuck]

HBD :: lmk

“how could my day be bad when i’m with you? you’re the only one who gives me love.”

“so how can my day be bad? it’s a day for you.”

currently playing: bad - wave to earth

idol!mark x gn!reader

TW: food (cake) | profanity | unlucky reader (?)

a/n - happy mark day i’m so soft for him🥹

————

to put in in honest words— this august second was one of the worst days of your life. everything at your job had gone wrong and you could feel every crevice that was filled with sweat as you ran around the office trying to make amends. it also didn’t help that it was mark lee’s birthday. of course, you’d much rather make amends on mark’s special day but he wasn’t going to be home until later.

you had actually been arranging such plans a week or so ago when they came back from tour. you know they are still really busy with promoting ‘istj’ but that didn’t stop you from practically begging on your knees in front of their manager. you just wanted this special day to celebrate your special boy.

the plan was to hold him back for two hours as the rest of the dreamies got to leave and pick up some catering, decorations, and the cake you had called for prior. this day was going to be perfect, you gaslit yourself as you found yourself stuck at the desk of your corporate job.

the minute you stepped off work grounds, you immediately texted jaemin and asked if they were on their way to pick up the things as you drove home as quick as you could to clean your shared apartment. the timing though was very unfortunate.

when you got home, you were met with an absolute mess. your cat had seemingly known that you were having a bad day and messed with almost everything in your apartment.

there were broken glasses in the kitchen from cups you had set out to dry before you stored them away, the vase that was sitting on the entryway of your home was now knocked down on the floor, your makeup was scattered and broken everywhere in your bedroom and bathroom, the pillows and blanket sitting on your couch had been slightly torn up, and your cat had decided at every moment to not use his litter box. this day was not getting any better and you definitely felt like crying. why does this have to happen on mark’s special day? you just wanted to do something nice for him to relax a little. but now it was all ruined.

you picked up every fiber of glass in the entryway and kitchen first, making sure no tiny piece was left behind. then you folded the blankets and pillows and placed them in the cupboard in your living room to hide them from your friends. next, you cleaned up the makeup that had found it’s way to the floor and stained the white floors of your bedroom and bathroom. curse these new and modern apartment buildings. and lastly, as you cleaned your cats droppings off the floor, you couldn’t help but to just cry. everything was a mess and you had already been cleaning your house for almost two hours.

and before you had the chance to finally be done cleaning the cat poop off the floor, the doorbell rung indicating the dreamies’ arrival. oh god, you thought.

as you opened the door, the six boys were met with the smell of febreeze and clorox wipes. of course, the had commented about it as well, “why does it smell so clean in here? and not in a good way,” said chenle, placing the snacks on the counter.

before anyone else had the chance to say something, you broke down crying again. you took the gloves off your hand and grabbed a few tissues before wiping away your tears. this made the boys worry about you as they made their ways closer to your body.

“what’s wrong, y/n?” asked jaemin.

you told them the whole shabang and they felt sorry that you had to deal with everything all alone. so instead of you worrying about everything being perfect, the boys made you go to the bathroom to freshen up as they finished cleaning your apartment and set up the food, plates, and decorations for mark’s big surprise.

you honestly didn’t trust their cleaning skills but they ushered you to get in the shower to help you relax a bit. but there was still a bit of anxiety in you even after you got out.

“there’s just one problem, y/n,” said jisung, scratching the back of his neck. “they kinda spelled mark’s name wrong. they put m-o-r-k.” he emphasized the ‘o.’

you let out a frustrated sigh and wiped your face with your hand. you wanted this day to be over already. you could spend it with mark on another day, right?

“it’s fine, jisung. clearly people don’t know how to do their jobs correctly and listen,” you sighed, “but it’s the least of my worries right now. i just want the rest of the night to go by peacefully and happily.”

——

when their manager let the boys leave the studio early (except mark) he was confused and frustrated all at once. it was his birthday. how could his manager do that to him? but he was obedient and went to the meeting. which was pointless, by the way. mark knew it, but he didn’t know it was to just pass the time as his lover and his friends got together to surprise him for his big day.

he’s turning twenty-four. it still shocks him to think that.

when he finally got to go home, he texted you that he was on his way back and just wanted to spend the rest of the night with you. when he reached his home, he noticed the light in the apartment were off except for maybe the tv or some blue l.e.d. lights and thought nothing of it.

but when he hung his keys on the key holder in the entryway, and took off his shoes, he noticed some of his members shoes messily placed on the ground.

when he entered through the door the first thing he says is, “babe? are the boys here?”

the only answer he got was “surprise” by yourself and the boys in question.

you could see his eyes light up as your friends popped out from their hiding spots with glow sticks in hand and confetti poppers now on the floor.

the smile on his face is one you’d remember forever. he’s looking at the people he loved the most and spending his birthday with the people he loved the most. the boys were all blocking you from him as mark pushed pass them to finally lock his eyes on you.

“happy birthday.” your response from him was a hug. the tightest hug he could have possibly ever given to you. he hides his face in your neck and whispers millions of “thank you’s” and “i love you’s.”

——

the party is spent well. and you almost forget about the first half of the day where everything and everyone was getting on your last nerve. that was until he whisked you away from the main party and locked you in the bathroom with him and he asked how your day was.

“honestly, it was absolutely fucking terrible. nothing was going according to plan. my work fucked me up, the car fucked me up, even the cake is fucked up. but i’m better now. thanks to you. and the boys. they all came to my savior when i was on my last straw…. i couldn’t wait to see you,” you mumbled in his chest as he swayed you back and forth.

“it’s better now, though. now that i’m with you,” you lifted your head as he boyishly giggles and kisses you like his life depended on it.

“what about you? you haven’t told me yet,” you smiled, playing with his hair at the nape of his neck.

“mine is better too, now. when they left earlier i was so pissed you have absolutely no idea. and they made me sit through a meeting alone. for two hours,” he whined and scrunched his eyes just thinking about it.

“but you’re here with me and i’m ending my birthday with the best people in my life.” he held you against his chest once more, swaying you again.

“yeah… my day can’t be bad anymore, it’s a day for you. happy birthday my love.” you leaned up and placed the gentlest kiss against his jaw and rested your head on his chest again.

this was perfect.

#mark lee #nct #nct dream #nct 127 #superm #superm mark #nct mark #nct mark lee #nct dream mark #nct u mark #nct 127 mark #mark lee scenarios #mark lee soft hours #mark lee x reader #mark lee angst #mark lee imagines #nct scenario #nct soft hours #nct x reader #nct imagines #nct dream scenarios #nct dream blurbs #nct dream imagines #nct 127 soft hours #nct 127 scenarios #nct 127 imagines #happy mark lee day <333

[ohdudehesflirting]

I LOVEEE your texting fics their so good !!

can I request chenle or renjun 🤧

chenle bf texts<3

hiii anonn i am so srry for the wait 😭😭 im running for the student council, i have training and tests on top of everything i was so fkn busy (still am 😭😭😭) but i hope u enjoy them i love writing chenle

taglist: @matchahyuck send an ask to be added <3

#nct fluff #nct imagines #nct #chenle imagines #nct angst #nct headcanons #nct scenarios #nct smau #chenle soft hours #chenle #chenle smau #chenle scenarios #chenle texts #nct dream #nct headcannons #nct smut #nct dream angst #nct dream imagines #nct dream fluff #nct dream headcanons #nct reactions #nct escenario #mark imagines #mark headcanonns #mark reactions #renjun imagines #renjun headcanonns #renjun reactions #jeno imagines #jeno headcanonns

[twilghtkoo]

hi!! i wanna request prompts #75 - #88 with fluff!!

love foolish

pairings. haechan x (f) reader

genre. fluff

warnings. not proofread as usual, haechan loves yn’s boobs

prompts: #75 “you can shower with me if you wash my hair” and #88 “you’re driving me crazy here”

prompt list | series masterlist | taglist

-

you had just stepped in the shower, the warm water cascading down your calves as you reach to close the shower curtains. allowing your shoulders down to get wet under the shower head.

it was a long day for you. you had cleaned your entire apartment, something that needed to be done. then after, you had cooked yourself dinner for yourself and haechan whenever he comes home. and then you had gotten a text from one of your classmates asking if you’ve done the lab that was due a minute before midnight.

panic sets in, because you haven’t done the lab. you’re careless self forgot about it, being occupied with other things and thoughts. so without getting to eat your freshly cooked dinner, you ran to your room to sit yourself on your desk and half ass a lab that was due in five hours. you had managed to finish an hour before twelve, not giving a care in the world about the half ass lab report you had written off topic in the middle of it. it was done. it was turned in. and it’s none of your worries now, well, until it’s graded that is.

“baby?” your sweet, loving, boyfriend’s voice entered the bathroom, seeing his almost invisible silhouette from inside the shower curtain.

you hum in response, standing under the hot water, your hair clinging to your shoulders and back.

“can i join you?”

you peel the curtain back, poking your head out to greet haechan with puckered lips. he was dressed in a simple, white adidas shirt and a pair of black shorts that stopped about four inches above his knees, showcasing his muscular legs that you always appreciate when he has them out. his tired, worn out expression immediately softening when he sees your face. he steps forward to kiss your lips.

you grin, your body back under the shower head. “you can shower with me if you wash my hair.”

you hear him softly laugh, as the sound of clothes rustling around from him undressing excites you. you’re about to poke out your head again to take a peek at your boyfriend but he surprises you first by pushing the curtain away to enter.

“you know i’ll do anything for you.” his hands reaching towards your soft, bare hips. moving you carefully to switch places with him so he’s under the water. you feel his lips touch your neck then your shoulder, before you hear him grab your shampoo bottle. the one that smells like pomegranates and cherry blossoms, a smell he’s grown used to and that has made it’s own home in his heart.

“how was your day, baby boy?” you ask him as he gently massages your scalp, making sure he lathers your whole head.

he tiredly huffs, “it was long. a bunch of meetings and a very long practice. i haven’t eaten all day which led me to find out that i don’t like dancing or singing on an empty stomach.” you frown at his response, concern washing over you at your hard-working boyfriend. it made you worry that haechan wasn’t able to eat anything all day and that he didn’t even have the time to. you’re glad he’s with you, at home, safely. you’re now grateful you had cooked dinner.

“i’m sorry baby, i cooked dinner and i haven’t gotten the chance to eat either so we can eat together after this.” you try to comfort him, and you know it made him feel better because his left hand travels down your sides to wrap itself around your stomach, he leans down to kiss your cheek before rinsing out your hair.

“i’m so glad i’m home right now with you. i missed you.”

as your head is tilted back and your eyes are shut so the soap suds don’t get into your eyes, you blindly reach behind you with your hand to just hold his upper thigh. hoping that your touch will send your love to him.

he’s soon done washing your hair and it’s now his turn. when you turn around he’s already staring at you, towering over you. you take this time to appreciate his beauty. the hair that you love to curl your fingers into, is now drenched and slick, sticking to the sides of his face and forehead. his eyes, a pair that you swear holds the universe, are tender right now, a gentle look that makes you feel comfortable and relaxed around them. and your favorite moles that you kiss daily in a certain order like they’re constellations.

“my turn to take care of you, baby boy.” you break the comforting silence, leaning close to kiss his bare chest before gesturing him to bend down a little so you can reach his hair without your tippy toes.

you both fall into a comfortable silence, him occasionally telling you he loves you and really missed you today. and each time he tells you, you kiss his forehead. each time lingering a little longer.

once your done washing and rinsing his hair, you take the wash cloth you had brought in with you for yourself to scrub him.

“let me do you first.”

you pull your hand back, shaking your head. “no, let me take care of you.” you lightly argue.

he gives up, sighing, shoulders deflating a bit. “can i say something then?”

you look up at him.

“i really love your boobs. my girls.” he cups them in the palm of his hands.

you scoff, shoving his hands away playfully. “way to ruin the moment.”

“baby, they’re just there. i can’t help it. you’re driving me crazy here.” he exclaims, before his hands find their way back to fondle with your chest, this time you don’t push his hands away.

“i think you’re the one driving me crazy.”

-

taglist @n0hyuck @matchahyuck send an ask or message to be removed! or fill out the google form to be added :D

#yeow6n #ok i’m done posting for the night :P #love foolish: ldh #haechan fluff #lee donghyuck #haechan #nct fluff #nct dream #haechan imagines #haechan drabbles #haechan fic #nct fic #haechan series #nct series #nct fic series #haechan angst #haechan smut #haechan comfort #boyfriend!haechan #soft haechan #lee donghyuck fluff #lee donghyuck x reader #lee donghyuck soft

[flwrshwr-chenji]

Ghost Of You

Park Jisung

Genre: Angst. Just sad

Warnings: Mentions of character d3ath, mourning, mentions of a car accident, Jisung is hurting, lmk if I should put anything else :)

A/N: I wrote this on a whim when Ghost of You by 5SOS came on. I'm on my period so I'm feeling emotions rn yall.

Fic under cut 🫶🏾

------------------------------------------------------------

Three months had passed since the accident. Jisung remembers it vividly, as if it happened yesterday. He woke up in a cold sweat, just as he’s done every night for the past month that he's been home from the hospital. Instinctively reaching for you just to find the bed empty, he couldn’t help the tears pricking his eyes as he swallowed the large lump in his throat. He slowly sat up, staring at the wall for what felt like an eternity, before turning his legs over the edge of the bed. With a deep sigh, he grabbed his crutches and slowly stood up. After a short struggle, Jisung managed to make it to the kitchen. On the island sat a vase of withered flowers. Placed there by his friends shortly after the funeral, he never had the energy to care for them. ‘Just another death,’ he mumbled to himself, grabbing the vase and tossing it in the trash. He propped his crutches against a wall before hobbling around the kitchen to make himself some breakfast. He tried to make sure he ate throughout the day. “Take care of yourself. It’s what y/n would want.” He could hear Chenle’s voice echoing through his head.

Hearing the phone ring pulled him out of his thoughts. He scrambled with his phone, a faint hope that it would be you, but the sensible part of his brain told him it wasn’t. “KING HEAD” flashed across his screen. With another sigh, he swiped his thumb across the screen to answer. “Hello?” It was the first time he’d spoken to anyone other than his mother in weeks. "Oh, dude, you actually answered! Guys!! He answered!!” His best friend’s voice resonated loudly in his ear, causing him to pull the phone away with a slight cringe. “How are you feeling, man?” Jeno’s voice came through the speaker. “My leg hurts.” Jisung stated, looking down on the cast starting just below his knee. He knew that’s not really what they were asking about, but they allowed him to evade the question. “Have you taken your meds? Do you need me to bring you a new prescription? Do you need anything from the store?” Mark’s voice came through next, worry evident in his tone even though he tried to hide it. “No. I’m good. Mom stopped by a few days ago.” Jisung said softly. Turning his attention to the food on the stove, he absentmindedly responded to his friends while they spoke to him.

The phone call didn’t last long. Jisung ended the call abruptly when he couldn’t hold back his tears after finding your favorite mug while searching for a cup to pour his coffee in. He held the mug in his trembling hands as he choked back quiet sobs, caressing the mug with his thumb. He had gotten you the mug for your first anniversary, with both of your initials printed in a big red heart. He remembered the way you tackled him in a tight hug when you opened the gift. A sad smile formed on his lips as he recalled the memory. He carefully placed the mug back into the cabinet before grabbing his own and wiping his tears. He poured his coffee and took his plate to the couch, sitting down to eat. He mustered up enough energy to turn on the TV. He was hardly paying attention to the screen while he slowly fed himself. Getting bored with the show he wasn’t even paying attention to, he decided to open Netflix. He found himself habitually turning on your favorite movie.

Jisung was proud of himself, having made it through half of the movie before he couldn’t bear it anymore. He forced up the courage to turn on the playlist you’d made for him on your third date. Just his luck, a slow song would come on. ‘Easily’ by Bruno Major. It was one of your favorites. You loved it when he sang it to you. Food was long forgotten as he stood up, walking to the picture frames hung on the wall. He pulled one off the hook, looking at your smiling face. His body began to move to the music, mimicking the dance moves you two did together as best he could in his condition. A smile etched itself onto his face, matching yours in the picture he was holding. He softly sang along to the song, just as he would if you were here in his arms. He moved slowly to the rhythm of the song as tears began slowly running down his cheeks. “I hope you’re resting, my angel.” He mumbled, his smile dropping as a sob escaped his chest. He clutched the picture frame to his chest as he dropped to his knees. Loud sobs shake his body, tears flowing out of his control. He longed to see you, even if it was just the ghost of you.

#nct jisung #jisung park #kpop smut #nct smut #nct angst #angst #jisung angst #jisung #nct soft hours #kpop fluff #kpop scenarios #nct 127 #nct x reader #nct dream #nct fluff #nct haechan #nct jeno #nct mark #mark lee #jeno lee #haechan lee #na jaemin #jisung x reader #enhypen fluff #enhypen smut #chenle zhong #huang renjun #lee heeseung #sim jaeyun #jake enhypen

[writemekpop]

Never Say Never | Na Jaemin

Summary: You know that going back to your ex-boyfriend Jaemin’s place is a bad idea – but you do it anyway. 

Genre: Exes to lovers AU, angsty

Word Count: 1.1k

@nctsworld

You were reaching for the last tub of ice cream at the supermarket when your hand touched someone else’s. 

It was Jaemin.

“Y/n! You look… good,” Jaemin said, his eyes not leaving yours. He placed the ice cream in your basket. “You have it.” 

Jaemin had been the love of your life. A month ago, you had to break up with him, because you wanted to get married, and he didn’t. It had been the hardest month of your life. 

It was a small consolation that Jaemin looked as broken as you felt. 

“Would you like to come to mine for a cup of coffee?” he asked. 

“I don’t think that’s the best idea…” you started. 

If you let yourself get close to him again, how would you ever be able to leave?

“It’s just coffee – not marriage,” he joked. Then he saw your face. “Too soon?” 

---

Jaemin took you back to his apartment. To your surprise, Jaemin had kept everything the same – he even left the picture of you two kissing in Disneyland in the hallway.  

“You know what’s better than coffee? A glass of wine.” he said, his eyes twinkling with equal parts of mischief and pain. 

You knew this wasn’t healthy, but you couldn’t resist. “Alright. But just one.” 

You ended up having four glasses of wine, as well as sitting on Jaemin’s couch chatting until 2AM. 

Jaemin’s dark eyes glistened with pain. His irises flashed with the colours from the movie that was playing. 

Halfway through the movie, he shifted closer to you on the couch, so that your thighs were touching.

“We’re friends,” Jaemin said, his eyes crinkling. “Friends kiss sometimes, don’t they?” 

You knew this was a bad idea. A month ago, you were planning your beach wedding with Jaemin in Bali, the house you would live in, the names of your two children (Jordan and Maya).

Every morning you still woke up expecting to find Jaemin next to you. 

Your heart was confused enough as it is – and a kiss would only make things worse. 

But all you could focus on was the look on Jaemin’s face. Jaemin would never insist on kissing you. He would just look at you like you were the only thing worth looking at in the world, and wait for you to make the move.

You nodded, heart fluttering.  

Jaemin’s lips met yours and you kissed slowly, insistently, as if both of you were memorising the taste of each other. 

Jaemin’s hand rested on your waist. “You know what’s better than being friends? Being friends with benefits. We could sleep together… just once…”

Surrounded by Jaemin’s warm smell, and the feel of his hands on you, you were dying to say yes. It would be so easy, slotting into place like you were made for each other.

You almost lost your self control… then you pushed Jaemin away. 

“Can’t we?” Jaemin asked, but you could tell from his sad smile that he knew he’d lost. 

“No, no, no! We can’t do this,” you cried. 

“Getting over you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do,” you said. “I can’t – make it any harder.” 

Running to the cupboard, you pulled out a pink pillowcase. “Wait-“ you said, before Jaemin could protest, and put it on his head. 

“There,” you said “If you want to talk, we can talk. But you have to keep that on. It’s the only safe way.” 

Jaemin put his hands on his hips. “Okay. But I warn you… you might fall for me again. Pink is my colour.” 

You chuckled. 

You and Jaemin talked till the early hours of the morning, reminiscing about the time you were so hungry to rip each other’s clothes off that you did it in the haunted house at Lotte World, only to be discovered by a group of terrified teens.   

“Do you… think about me, at all?” you asked shyly. 

Jaemin didn’t say anything. 

Your heart sank. “It’s fine, I didn’t think so…”

Jaemin took your hand. “I nodded! Under the pillowcase! I think about you every waking hour, Y/n. I thought that was obvious.” 

“Ah…” you said. “I couldn’t see you nodding.”  

“Do you think,” Jaemin said, “- and you can call me ridiculous, but – do you think it would be best if I took this pillowcase off?”

“Yeah,” you said, laughing a little. 

Seeing Jaemin’s handsome face made you ache all over again – in good and bad ways. 

You stared at each other for a long moment. 

Then Jaemin leaned in, twined his fingers in your hair and kissed you. This time, his kiss was not slow or gentle. It burned with all the wound-up energy of your month spent apart. 

You pushed Jaemin so he was lying down on the couch beneath you. As you unbuttoned his shirt, you were determined to memorise the smooth planes of his chest, because this was the last time you would see them. 

A glass of wine got knocked off the arm of the couch, spilling wine all over Jaemin. 

“Damn it,” Jaemin said, trying to get up, but you stopped him. Instead, you leaned down and placed slow, wet kisses all over Jaemin’s chest, licking up the spilt wine.  

That night was amazing. You rode Jaemin desperately, because you remembered the loneliness of the past months and because you were so aware of the loneliness to come. 

When you woke up the next morning and found that you really were nestled on Jaemin’s chest, the rush of relief was dizzying. 

“I’ll do it,” Jaemin suddenly said. 

You twisted to face him. Your stomach flipped. 

“You’ll do what?” 

“I’ll marry you.” Jaemin said. “I’ll do the vows, the cake, the big party… I’d take your name if you wanted me to.” He gazed urgently at you. “I just can’t… lose you again, Y/n.” 

Your heart was racing. Even now, you couldn’t believe the words coming out of Jaemin’s mouth. You were sure that, any second, he would turn around and say it was a joke, or he didn’t mean it.

“You would?” you said. Tears pricked your eyes. “We can do it in the registry office, half an hour, we don’t even have to invite anyone if you don’t want to.” Tears flowed freely down your face now. “Oh, Jaemin.” 

Jaemin held you tight in his arms, and you knew he was thinking, I will never let you go.

“I do have one condition, though,” you said, smiling up at him through your tears.

“Anything,” Jaemin said.

“Are you really willing to take my last name? Become Mr. L/n?” 

Jaemin smiled. “It would be my pleasure.” 

—

MASTERLIST

Let us know what you thought in the comments or on anon! 💋

#jaemin #nct dream #jaemin smut #nct smut #nct dream smut #nct imagines #kpop imagines #jaemin fluff #nct fluff #jaemin fanfiction #nct fanfiction #nct drabbles #nct reactions #nct scenarios #nct soft hours #nct suggestive #nct x reader #nct 00 line #nct 00 line smut #nct angst

[dongfuck]

[ 23.47 ] — cry

“i swear i’ll only make you cry.”

his hands ran through your hair as a sorrowful smile broke through his lips. ‘one last time’ he’d said. you weren’t sure what he’d meant when he’d said it before but now, now that you both were in each other’s arms, taking in the way the moonlight beautifully lit up the other’s features making them look even more prominent than they already were, you knew exactly what he meant. it was the last time you’d be holding each other like this. the last time you’d see each other as lovers. you couldn’t help the tear that rolled down your cheek when you saw the memories you’d shared together in the reflection of his glistening eyes. you weren’t sobbing. you couldn’t. but when he took his thumb and used it to wipe the tear off of your bare face, there was no hiding how much you wanted this to last. how much you wanted him to stay with you forever. at times like this you think to yourself, why? why are you doing this? why are you letting him go if you still love him? do you still love him? your questions went unanswered and you wondered if he was the one who could answer them. if he had the same thoughts you did. “you don’t love me, y/n.” he said reassuringly with a soothing tone. but you weren’t one to believe. shaking your head side to side, the tears welling in your eyes started blurring your vision and you felt the need to wipe it off but you were completely numb. every effort you made to move or talk went to no avail and you were getting tired of constantly trying so you just ended up giving in. “hyuck…” you mouthed and although no sound could be heard, you felt like he could hear you clearly. he hummed softly in return with soft eyes as he caressed your face gently. “i don’t want this.” you finally managed to let out with the tiniest voice possible. you could see how he was slightly taken aback by this but it was quickly concealed when he replied with, “i’m sorry…” his gaze was then drifted to the sheets below you and his hand dropped from your face. “if we keep doing this… i’ll only make you cry even more. and i don’t want that.” you noticed how shaky his voice had gotten compared to previously but before you could even think of doing anything, he continued, “you don’t deserve someone like me. you gave me everything. more than i’ve ever needed but i still hurt you. and i’m sorry. but i can’t do this anymore.” his hands that were on the sheets found yours before he intertwined them tightly. “i wish that i’d been a better person. a better boyfriend. but it’s too late now isn’t it?” he chuckled expressionlessly and you wanted to hit him in the head so hard. just then, another tear fell from your eye and reached your chin where it dripped to your laced fingers. he raised his head before searching for stars in your eyes as he muttered the words he was hesitant of, “i’ll come back, okay?” he couldn’t be sure if he was actually going to but he knew those words were the only thing that would help you get over this. get over him. sniffling, you hoped what he’d said was true before you shakily told him, “i’ll wait for you.”.

yeeah i cried also plsss read this while playing cry by cas (if you already read it just read it again i promise you it hits different)

#nct imagines #nct dream #nct 127 #haechan imagines #haechan #haechan fluff #haechan x reader #haechan angst #haechan fic #haechan soft hours #haechan scenarios #nct hard hours #haechan hard hours #haechan smut #nct smut

[zchl]

🐉 PARK : JISUNG ＞＜ masterlist

@zchl on tumblr ~

﹑ⵌ fluff works

: O1 pretty boy 🎀

﹑ⵌ angst works

: O1 soon to be added . . .

﹑ⵌ smut works

: O1 soon to be added . . .

#zchl #nct #nct scenarios #nct x reader #nct fluff #nct imagines #nct dream #nct dream gifs #nct dream angst #nct dream drabbles #nct dream fanfic #nct dream fluff #nct dream fic #nct dream smut #nct dream imagines #nct drabbles #nct dream soft hours #park jisung #jisung x reader #Spotify

[ohmygs-blog]

omg pls add haechan to the angst w jaemin mark and chenle

in need of some haechan angst rn😖

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* *:･ﾟ

just for u my queen 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️

cw! communication problems, frustrated haechan, symptoms of depression(kinda)

i’ve never written angst n like idk if this is good but i tried!!

also i changed like the argument topic bc i couldn’t think of another way to write the same prompt 😭😭

#nct dream #nct #nct 127 #nct scenarios #nct drabbles #nct imagines #nct fake texts #nct texts #nct angst #nct comfort #nct x oc #nct x y/n #nct x reader #nct soft thoughts #nct soft hours #nct fic recs #nct fic #nct fanfic #nct dream haechan #nct dream donghyuck #lee haechan #nct lee haechan #lee donghyuck #nct lee donghyuck

[mystverse]

04:32 PM

PAIRING : Lee Taeyong × Fem Reader

WARNINGS : fluff

❝This is nice.❞ Taeyong whispers, pulling you closer to him. You both are running away from your abusive families. With no idea about the days ahead, you are scared to face tomorrow, which is nearing as the sun rises to the sky.

❝What's nice?❞ you ask, snuggling closer into his chest. Eyes unconsciously closing, and you inhale his citrusy cologne, which provides the comfort you've wanted. He tilts your head and presses a chaste kiss on your lips, ❝Having you, all to myself?❞ he answers with a warm smile. A smile like home, a home you always wanted. ❝O-Oh,❞ you stutter, pink dusts on your cheek, and your heart races almost as fast as the train you are traveling in. Going somewhere, somewhere you can love him as much as you want.

: MYST

#nct #nct dream #nct u #nct 127 #nct fluff #taeyong scenarios #taeyong fluff #taeyong #lee taeyong #taeyong smut #nct taeyong #taeyong hard hours #taeyong angst #taeyong soft hours

[jenniejjun]

YOU’RE LOSING ME.

PAR: mark lee x leitora!fem

GÊNERO: angst

avisos: mark e a leitora tão terminando 😭, muito chororo e dor, essa história é super baseada na música nova da tay “you’re losing me” então tem alguns trechos que foram literalmente adaptados e traduzidos pra encaixar a fic,

isso foi resultado de um surto que eu tive, pois tô ouvindo essa música o dia todo e pra mim super encaixa com o mark. ele tem muito a carinha de que passaria por uma situação dessas com um parceiro kkkkkk (tadinho do nosso empregado do mês), mas isso de forma alguma é pra condenar nenhuma das partes. às vezes, acontece de a gente não dar certo com alguém que a gente ama muito e quis ser melancólica e captar isso

Mark Lee é uma superestrela. E você já sabia de tudo isso quando começaram a namorar há seis anos atrás. Seus amigos te acharam maluca, mas você nunca os deu ouvidos. Era o apropriado em sua mente. Seu pai trabalhava na SM Entertaintment e você vivia lá, topava com Mark o tempo todo. Foi inevitável não pegar apreço pelo garoto com o tempo e quando menos esperavam, vocês estavam saindo juntos. Somente os dois, em pequenos encontros às escondidas.

O namoro fluía bem fácil pra vocês desde o início, não tinham obrigações e muito menos faziam com que o tempo passado juntos pesasse nos momentos em que precisavam ficar separados. Mark tinha shows, apresentações em televisão, fãs que precisavam dele e você tinha seus estudos. Era um acordo silencioso entre vocês e, talvez, fosse por isso que desse tão certo no começo.

Ele entendia que não podiam estar juntos o tempo todo e você também.

Não fazia ideia de quando as coisas começaram a mudar, nem deveriam mudar, pela sua perspectiva. Você estava na faculdade, continha milhares de matérias para estudar e se estressar, seu namoro deveria ser a última coisa pesando em sua cabeça. Entretanto, não era o curso que escolhera que fazia com que quisesse gritar no travesseiro a noite, mas seu relacionamento com Mark Lee.

A distância parecia gritar mais que nunca e você se sentia mais mal de vê-lo chegar do que de vê-lo ir porque sabia que em algum momento, iam ter de se separar de novo. As turnês constantes eram exaustivas tanto nele quanto em você, o que consistia no fator de que Mark não estava sempre disponível pra você e seria cruel da sua parte não entender isso. Mas, em pequenos momentos irracionais, você não entendia.

Não se viam há tanto tempo e ainda assim, não conseguiam se ver pelo cansaço.

Não demorou muito para que as brigas, a frustração acumulada em ambos os lados tornava tudo mais difícil. Era incompreensível para o Lee que você, sua chama gêmea, não entendesse o peso que a vida que ele levava trazia. Você rezou para que alguma cura milagrosa recaísse sobre seu relacionamento, mas agora temia que isso não fosse mais possível.

Mark tinha uma carreira e você não parecia gostar mais disso.

Estavam sentados em seu cômodo favorito, costumavam passar horas e horas divagando sobre como as luzes naquele cubículo específico em seu apartamento dividido pareciam divinas em certo modo. O brilho sutil e angelical que elas traziam sob suas feições, presentemente a única coisa que ela fazia era iluminar os semblantes cansados de vocês.

"Eu não entendo", você especificou sentindo que não precisava explicar mais do que devia. Era irônico como ainda conseguiam entender o outro perfeitamente, assim, no meio de uma crise. Era triste que não se entendiam pelas coisas nas quais importavam.

"Eu sei", foi a única coisa que ele respondeu. Não queria estar tendo aquela conversa, claramente, pelos olhos tristes que carregava. Mas os dois sabiam que a hora já havia chegado.

Pensou em tudo que construíram juntos. Se guardaria ou jogaria fora. O primeiro aniversário de namoro, a primeira vez, quando adotaram um gatinho juntos. As inúmeras vezes em que foi nos concertos do Dream e 127, todos os comebacks pelo qual ele sempre ficava animado e você sempre dava um jeito de passar pela empresa e parabenizá-lo junto dos meninos.

Estavam tão perdidinhos agora.

Você levou seus olhos tempestuosos até a expressão dele, mal percebeu quando os teve cheios d'água como agora mas alegadamente era o que tinha de lidar.

"Eu tentei, Mark, de verdade. Juro que tentei mas não tá dando mais", chorou lamentosa. Não era justo com ele e nem com você, mas como podia mentir para si mesma quando sentia que estava morrendo por dentro?

Mark parecia quebrar a qualquer momento, não se manteve forte por você. A voz estava rouquinha quando perguntou: "Sabe me dizer quando isso começou?"

Negando, você secou umas lágrimas copiosas.

"Aí é que tá, não existe um grande momento que virou alguma chave na minha cabeça pra tudo isso. É só... Um compilado de acontecimentos que começaram a me incomodar, mas nunca incomodaram antes", você começou a morder as unhas bem feitas mas sentiu a mão quente dele na sua.

Parando o movimento autodestrutivo.

"Ei, tá tudo bem", não estava. "Acho que venho negando isso há um tempo mas a gente... Não tá funcionando mesmo."

O ar começou a ficar mais pesado, a sensação de perdição e indecisão entre vocês quase te sufocava como uma nuvem. Não aguentava mais quando escondeu o rosto entre as mãos e começou a chorar de novo, extensivamente. Eram seis longos anos com uma pessoa que você jurava que se casaria, com quem compartilhou todas as suas manias e acordou ao lado todas as manhãs. O seu para sempre que ia embora, lentamente.

Você escutou o som dos pés de uma cadeira se arrastando pelo chão e logo, os braços de Mark estavam ao seu redor. Sua cabeça ficou apoiada no ombro dele ao mesmo tempo em que passava os braços por seu pescoço, relutantemente deixou com que o peso de seu corpo caísse uma última vez sobre ele se debulhando em lágrimas.

"Princesa", ele murmurou depositando beijinhos no topo de sua cabeça.

Realmente era como o ditado dizia. Você não sabe o que tem até perder.

Chorando copiosamente em seu colinho, você acariciou levemente os fiozinhos pequenos e loiros na nuca de Mark como habituava de fazer quando ele estava nervoso ou triste com alguma coisa e não demorou muito para que sentisse os ombrinhos do Lee balançando e algumas gotinhas de água manchando sua blusa de frio.

"Eu sinto muito, amor. Sinto muito mesmo que não tenha dado certo, me perdoa", ele suplicou fungando. Te agarrando pela cintura da forma mais forte que achou, Mark balançou vocês levemente em uma maneira de acalmar ambas as partes ali. Certamente, você nunca chorou tanto em sua vida. Agarrada a ele como um bebê, sabia que era o necessário.

Não se tem como trazer de volta a vida um relacionamento que não existe mais, sabendo que o amor não era a única coisa suficiente para mantê-los ali.

Ainda assim, uma parte egoísta de si queria que ele fizesse alguma coisa que a impedisse de sair dali. Que dissesse, arriscasse ou até mesmo perdesse algo para ficar com você mas era abusivo demais. Jamais poderia pedir isso dele, assim como ele não pediria de você.

"Eu te amo demais e uma partezinha de mim sempre vai te amar, tá? Não quero que pense nem por um segundo que você não é amada", ele continuou choroso. Depositava beijos por toda a extensão de sua têmpora e bochecha. Você apenas assentiu forçando os olhinhos a ficarem fechados, temendo que se os abrisse e visse o estado em que seu futuro ex-namorado se encontrava, talvez, não fosse capaz de terminar tudo.

Porque, droga, você se sentia amada. Nunca duvidaria de que Mark Lee te amava com cada fibra de seu ser, chegava a blasfêmia pensar isso. Todavia, amá-lo era como uma batalha nos últimos tempos. E lutar na linha de frente enquanto encarava o vento frio da solidão em alguns momentos parecia afetá-la mais do que gostava de admitir.

No fim de tudo, doía lembrar da memória dos anéizinhos de papel que Mark tinha feito para vocês no dia em que se mudaram juntos e como haviam se molhado com o tempo. Com o teor de suas próprias lágrimas.

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