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cdyssey · 11 months

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Yellowjackets 2.09 Reactions:

Oh, boy. Here we go. 😭

CW: Cannibalism

I’m so nervous—I’m gonna be sick.

NOT “ZOMBIE.” OH, GOD GODDAMN.

Travis’s relieved Natalie has broken me, already in anticipation of what’s going to fucking happen next.

THE WILDERNESS CHOSE.

I’m so sick over Travis’s visceral sobs—that’s his baby brother. He just got him back, and now he’s gone. (Kevin did such a good job here. Hhhhhgh.)

Lottie about to go all in on the euthanasia tea, but everyone else immediately protests. It’s Shauna who talks Lottie down from the ledge.

SHAUNALOTTIE HUG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YEAH, BABY!!

Shauna giving the rest of the adults a wink, wink, nudge, nudge over Lottie’s shoulder as Lottie weeps. I feel for Lot so much. She just doesn’t want to be alone in feeling the way that she does. How much of her life has she been alone—the only one burdened by “visions,” sent to Switzerland for years, the teenage girl turned venerated prophetess??

“This is just about us.” It always has been. The six of them together. They were the power shakers in the cabin: the leaders, the butchers, the devoted worshippers, the hunters.

Shaunalottie handhold. <33 My superpower is that I can ship any configuration of the core six if they look at each other longer for two seconds.

“Yeah, except we got over it.” Natalie, ma’am, no, y’all, did not. <3

The makeup team is doing a stellar job in both timelines—the dark lines beneath Adult Tai’s eyes and Lottie’s injury makeup are really great.

Goddamn, poor Lottie.

“You started this. It’s done.” In the wilderness (and in the adult timeline as well), the girls are always looking for ways to foist the shame and responsibility away from themselves. Lottie started it. It chooses. Et cetera., et cetera. But they all became wrapped up in the darkness at some point or another. They all stood there silently as Javi disappeared below the surface of the water.

“Lottie is pleased with the wilderness’s choice.” Misty putting words into Lottie’s mouth. If Lottie is their deity or their priestess or saint or what have you, then Misty is a false prophet, spreading a malicious truth and sending the girls careening towards that gaping maw that they’ve all opened together. She’s the closer.

The sadness in Shauna’s eyes. Javi adored her. They shared quiet moments of kinship together. He carved her a wolf, and she saved that boy once—told him to run and possibly prevented him from dying during Doomscoming. But she was complicit in his death, and now she’s going to fucking dismember and eat him.

Shauna’s shaking hand. The tears slipping down her face. Sophie fucking Nélisse.

The fact that it’s Tai, Shauna, Nat, and Van who are at the butchering. This is Javi’s funeral.

GOD, SHAUNA COVERING HER EYES SO SHE DOESN’T HAVE TO FACE HIM. I’M UNWELL, UNWELL, UNWELL.

Van to Tai: “Or if she is [sick], then so are you.” It’s a deep cut for Tai who has spent most of her adult life trying to hold on to her hinges and create a perfect facade of a normal life.

What’s Van trying to get Tai to do? 😭

THE SPLIT WALL BETWEEN NAT AND SHAUNA IN THE KITCHEN IS SUCH A GOOD DIRECTION. AND THIS NEEDLE DROP.

“Do you Google yourself a lot?” AKQKWKJDJDNS. Callie Sadecki, I love u.

Callie’s gonna get that gun by the end of the episode.

Jeff really thought he was sending Shauna to a spa WNWKWOWKDS.

The cops. 😭 Kevyn, I like you, but Matt can go fuck off.

Nat trying to protect Lisa. God, God, God.

“I appreciate you trying to teach me… forgiveness. It’s a nice idea.” JESUS.

IF NATALIE SCATORCCIO DIES, I S2FG

Ben’s momentary joy at seeing Shauna at the butcher’s table again, thinking someone bagged an animal.

THE LINGERING SHOT ON THE JAVI REMAINS JFC

Ben’s ready to get Nat and nope the actual fuck out.

“You’re not like the rest of these girls.” / “Actually, I’m worse.” […] “I let him die in my place.” God, it’s the way that Nat does have it in her to accept responsibility, how she shoulders it the most unflinchingly of the entire cabin.

“You’re a good person, Coach. You really don’t belong in this place.” Sick. It’s an echo of Travis telling Nat something similar last week.

Oh, this Travis-Van conversation is brutal. Van, the consummate survivor, is just happy to fucking be alive and she won’t feel shame for that.

We’re seeing a lot of manipulations in the cabin so far. Misty twisting Lottie’s words, and now Van rhetorically giving purpose of Javi’s death. Interesting roles for these two especially because they’ve been the “worshippers” and “followers” for the most part. But as we’re learning, that role doesn’t go without influence.

WALTER SINGING “SEND IN THE CLOWNS,” ONE OF MY FAVORITE SONDHEIM SONGS?!?!?! Elijah has a very good voice!!

Kevyn Tan is so hot. It’s sad that he’s a cop. :(

Hot cocoa… the drink Jackie drank in her death dream…………

I objectively know that Shauna changed her name to Sadecki, but it doesn’t feel real to me. She’s Shauna Shipman forever.

Jeff should have changed his name. <3

“You’re being awfully judgy about Mom considering this all started thanks to your lame attempt at blackmail.” FVFXCVGC. She’s such a mommy’s girl. <33

“The American family is crumbling, Callie.” WKWMSNSNWKWJSN.

Oh, God. I’m fucking terrified about Callie wandering around on the compound. If anything happens to her, I’ll be ill.

Jeff trying to take the fall for Shauna. “I did it to protect her.” God, I fucking love him.

WHAT THE FUCK KEVYN

GODDAMMIT

WALTER

I’M UPSET. THIS IS THE WRONG FUCKING COP

IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN MATT

Walter: “Hiya, me again.” Jeff-Walter meet cute over a dead body. <3

“Jeffrey! Does anyone call you that?” / “Yeah, my mom. No, she… she doesn’t.” HAJDNSSJ.

I am really upset about Kevyn, though. Alex Wyndham did such a good job of imbuing him with a lot of emotional complexity for a fairly slight role.

Ben being unable to start a fire recalls Jackie in the last season finale!!

THE HEART?!?!!))2)$3&2&28182&3;$3

GIVING TRAVIS THE HEA R T

OH GOD HE HAS TO CONSUME HIS BROTHER’S FUCKING HEART??????????

THE LITTLE WOLF STATUE. GDI

FUCKING RAW

SICK SICK SICK

APPARENTLY, SIBLINGHOOD IS EATING YOUR KID BROTHER’S HEART RAW. I—

How does this boy go back to his mother and look her in the eye, knowing that he ate his brother? Goddamn

This needle drop as adult Lottie prepares for the hunt is stellar.

🎶 “God is afoot. God never died.”

NOT TAI AND VAN CANCELLING THE CRISIS TEAM. GIRLIES, ALL OF YOU ARE IN A CRISIS.

I’m utterly terrified.

The women standing around a fire preparing for another hunt… God, last night, they were dancing around a fire, reveling at the snow. And there’s so much tension now about who is playing pretend and who is actually gearing up for a slaughter.

LOTTIE BRINGING A REAL ASS KNIFE.

CALLIE’S GOT THE GUN.

Fucking Matt the fucking cop.

The women’s haunted reactions to the queen card. They all remember what actions—what horrors—they committed by its name.

“I’d like to shuffle those some more.” The tremor in Shauna’s voice. Even if she thinks it’s fake, the trauma is absolutely real.

Van’s not trying real hard to deescalate this situation, huh?

I’m gonna need parallel GIFs of Van not drawing the queen and Tai’s reaction from both timelines. 😭 So, so good. The difference between them. Relief vs. Realization

“Is this what you wanted to happen?” Tai gets it, horrified. Van has always been a true believer.

“Because you know what happens if you do.” OH, GOD, IF THE GIRLS DIDN’T DRAW, WERE THEY AUTOMATICALLY CHOSEN?!?)$2!:$$:$2&3

MY HEART IS IN MY THROAT

OH, GOD. THEY’RE GONNA KEEP GOING AROUND THE CIRCLE UNTIL SOMEONE IS CHOSEN. SICK SICK SICK

THE FLASHES TO THEIR TEEN SELVES. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NOT MY SHAUNA. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

AND SHE WAS THE LAST SHUFFLER TOO. OH GODD

THE MASKS. OH GOD. AND IS DARK TAI HERE.

YEAH, THAT’S GOTTA BE HER

JESUS

THE WOMEN HAVE ALL REVERTED TO THEIR PRIMAL SELVESS AAAAAA

“YOU CAN SUBMIT OR YOU CAN RUN.”

OH GOD. WAS THERE SOMEONE WHO JUST FUCKING SUBMITTED?????

“So you’ve all actually lost your minds.” THEY HAVE. JESUS.

“You know there’s no ‘it,’ right? It was just us!” / “Is there a difference?” WEEPING. VOMITING. GNASHING MY TEETH. NO, THERE’S NO DIFFERENCE.

“Oh, fuck off.” BABY GIRL, I LOVE YOU.

GOD, how is Shauna the most sane of them all right now?!

Lol, the close-up of the Adam case is so… clunky AKDKWJDNS. Lmfao.

And God, I really hate that the Adam/Jessica murders are going to be pinned on Kevyn. He was a decent dude. He was a good dad. He was soft on the Yellowjackets. He deeply cared for Nat. And now he’s collateral damage in the trauma spiral the survivors are on.

CALLIE SAVING SHAUNA. HELL FUCKING YEAH.

“Callie!” The ungodly terror and disbelief in Shauna’s voice.

“She’s so powerful.” The awe and reverence in Lottie’s voice. Callie’s got the wilderness in her too.

And we’re also indirectly reminded of teen Lottie’s obsession with the wilderness baby here.

Shauna pleading with Callie to put the gun down. Oh, God. Oh, GOD. Mere episodes ago, she could barely put the gun down herself.

“But she was going to kill you.” I’m so fucking unwell about traumatized mothers and their traumatized daughters.

Shauna’s feeling of betrayal at Tai especially—both of them have severely fucked up each other’s trust lately, and that scars them deeply.

“It was Van’s idea.” YEAH, TAISSA TURNER, BUT YOU WENT ALONG WITH IT!!!!!!!! ANWKDKWKDJ

“She’s like this because of us.” HHHHHHFHGFDG. THEY MADE THAT TEENAGE GIRL THEIR SAINT.

The girls hugging Lottie. 😭 Mari being so happy that she’s okay.

Van being the storyteller, oh, God. And she’s clearly recounted the plots of old movies to them before. That’s so precious.

Lottie: “I never wanted to be in charge. It chose me, I think… because I was the only one who knew how to listen.” Heartbreaking. I love the emphasis on hearing/listening here. It’s the sensory element that the wilderness seems to be most associated with along with sight (or the lack of it). “We hear the wilderness, and it hears us.”

NATALIE LEADER. NAT ANTLER QUEEN?!

Misty and Van on either side of adult Lottie, bandaging her wound, holding her—her most devoted followers.

“You were always its favorite.” And Nat just coming undone.

AUGHHHHHHH!! LISA?!??!!!!!!!!!!!!! GO BACK INSIDE. THE WOMEN ARE BEING INSANE

“We tried to kill you. And it wouldn’t let us.” God, what a line. The fact that Lottie implicates herself in it, even though she literally had nothing to do with the actual hunt. She’s accepting responsibility and blame for it anyway. She’s taken Misty’s words to heart.

LOTTIENAT HAND KISS. GAYS WE’RE WINNING

Akilah’s little curtsey was so cute.

MISTY MAKING NAT LAUGH. OH GOD GAYS WE’RE WINNING.

here’s how mistylottienat can win

VAN NUZZLING HER FACE AGAINST NAT’S HAND. HERE’S HOW MISTYLOTTIENATVANTAISHAUNA CAN—

Oh, God. Travis placing her hand against his heart. I’m so fucking sick.

That tortured Shaunanat head bow!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK yeah

Sophie Thatcher’s smile. My fucking God

MISTY ON GOD

WHAT THE FUC K

NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO

FUCK OFF SHOW NO

OH GOD NAT

NOT HER

NOT NATALIE’S DEATH REALM BEING A GODDAMN PLANE

MISTY’S UTTER GODDAMN HORROR

THEY’RE ALL SO DEVASTATED

WHAT THE FUCK SHOW

GODDAMMIT YELLOWJACKETS

JAVI JAVI JAVI

OH GOD, THE BOY SHE CONDEMNED AND HE’S COMFORTING HER

“I’m not supposed to be here.” SOBBING. SHE JUST FOUND HER GODDAMN WILL TO LIVE. SHE WAS GONNA GET SOBER. WHAT THE FUCK

SHE DIDN’T WANT TO DIE

“THIS IS EXACTLY WHERE WE BELONG.” OH GOD. A REVERSAL OF WHAT SHE TOLD BEN EARLIER IN THE EPISODE

“WE’VE BEEN HERE FOR YEARS.”

NAT SOBBING. I CAN’T FUCKING TAKE THIS.

TEEN LOTTIE????????????????????? PLACING A HAND ON HER HEART

“It’s not evil. Just hungry. Like us.” AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA.

Misty fucking sobbing is ending me. Christina Ricci.

“I’m so sorry. Oh, God.” I’m not well.

NO. NOT THEM CHALKING UP HER DEATH AS A GODDAMN OVERDOSE. THAT IS SO CRUEL.

FUCK.

I’M SO FUCKED UP

GOD LOTTIE IS JUST.

SHE TRIED SO HARD TO SAVE NAT

“Walter, I killed my best friend.” I can’t fucking do this. Oh, God. Misty tried so goddamn hard to keep her alive too.

“It’s going to be okay.” / “Natalie’s dead.” No, it won’t be okay. That was their teammate, their leader, their goddamn friend. They loved her. They hunted her. They loved her. They killed her.

Vantai promising to visit Lottie. That’s kind of the girlflops, but God, Van’s plan to keep Lottie out of an institution failed anyway. And now Nat is dead.

“We have it what it wanted. It is pleased with us.” And she looks at Van: “You’ll see.” Jesus fucking Christ.

THE CLOSE UP ON CALLIE. THE LITTLE GRIN FLIRTING AT HER MOUTH THAT SHAUNA FUCKING SEES. AND IT’S DEVASTATING TO HER. She now knows that her daughter has it in her too.

Shauna rage-jealousy journaling AMSMSNMSD. She’s so petty. <3

BEN SET THE GODDAMN FUCKING CABIN ON FIRE?!!???$))))2&2@1@&2&2!3!3$3

SO UPSETTING

GOD, JUST. He condemned them because he thinks that they’re monsters, but what the hell has he become himself?

THIS SHOW

#yellowjackets #yellowjackets spoilers #s: yellowjackets #maggie blogs #I’M SO GODDAMN DISTRESSED

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ben-101-rewrite · 3 years

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Verdona, like most Anodites, spent much of her time on her home planet, Anodyne, ever since she was born. Her peoples' way of life and culture was built around their home and the use of mana, in how they communicate, connect and see the world. So for a long time, Verdona saw no reason to venture far from her home, having no desire to settle someplace else. She was known to visit other nearby planets for fun and see what the locals had to offer, but not once did she feel the need to stick around for long.

That was, until the events of the episode "Moonstruck". Never had Verdona met someone like an Anodite with the spark, who wasn't an Anodite, and yet Max made her see differently. She had had lovers before, with other Anodites, but something about this human caught her attention above the rest. So after being saved by him and declining to come to space with her, she returned home with butterflies in her stomach. The kidnapping had been an unpleasant experience, but something good did come out of it.

So when she got home, getting swarmed by friends and family who had been worried about her, it didn't take her long to share what happened, bubbling every time she spoke about Max. However, the more she talked about Max, the more her friends and family looked off about the whole thing. It wasn't until Verdona decided she wanted to go find Max again, and perhaps stay with him on earth, did some of the other Anodites stepped in. It's not that they didn't want Verdona to be happy, but a lot of them wanted to warn her that loving another alien that wasn't an Anodite was not easy.

This wasn't them looking down on another race, but rather understanding how vastly different they are from most aliens in the galaxy, due to their deep connection to magic and mana. Their entire lives revolved around it, it's how they learn, how they explore, how they connect with one another. However, when trying to love something that lacks those elements, that love eventually fades away over time, or at the very least, becomes hard to live with. There have been many Anodites who have dated other races, and more often than not, they eventually split in the end.

Verdona, being stubborn, says this is different, Max is different, he's just like them, he has a spark even if he doesn't have magic. She was going to prove to them all that she could do this, she would be happy on earth, and she and Max would have an entire life together. She would never leave...

And so, she moved to earth, finding Max, who had just been recruited into the Plumbers, and the two showed a strong bond of love in those early days. Verdona took a more humanoid shape, and crafted herself a human form, so the two could lead a double life. Max supported her whenever she felt homesick, and Verdona would always support him in his rough early days of training. Things seemed to be going great for them, a young couple who were eager to face the world, and show it what they're made of.

Slowly, but surely, Max started climbing the ranks of the Plumbers, taking many missions out in space, and making many friends and work partners, like Phill or Devin. Verdona was known to assist the Plumbers here and there on magic related issues, but she spent a lot of time on earth, enjoying what it had to offer. But...she did have to admit she was a little bit lonely. Since earth didn't have a significant Plumber base, due to the fact there was very low alien activity on the planet, with minor problems like Vilgax showing up here and there, Max was out in space a lot of the time for work. She had tried a couple of pets here and there, but one day when Max came home for the week, she asked about starting a family.

She had had kids before, all Anodites, of course, so she believed she was already fit to be a mother, and Max had wanted to be a father someday. Plus, the two had faced a lot, combatting alien villains, saving some planets, testing the limits of magic, how hard could raising a family be? So after requesting some time off from the Plumbers, Verdona eventually gave birth to two humans twin sons, Frank and Carl.

Max was over the moon, and so was Verdona, though...she will admit, something didn't feel quite right. This was the first time she ever had children that weren't Anodite, and she didn't even know if either of them had the spark that would give them the magic and Anodite gene. There was no way to tell until they were a little older. It made her realises that she doesn't know how to connect with human kids, remembering all those times she connected with her Anodite kids with magic, the core of them all. But that being said, Verdona wasn't one to back down, and she wanted to prove she could do this. And even if they weren't Anodites, they were still her sons, and she would love them regardless.

So in comes Frank and Carl into the world of life, and early on in their childhood, things seemed to be going great still for the Tennyson family. Max and Verdona never hid the fact that their mother was an alien, and that Max worked for the Plumbers, but they made sure to remind their kids that it was a big secret. That being said, kids being kids, they did sometimes blab that their mums an alien, and their daddy has been to space, either to seem cooler to other toddlers and kids, or when they were sometimes frustrated about something. Thankfully, older folks just saw them as kids with big imaginations, and never really believed them.

But it wasn't until Carl and Frank were heading into their teenage years that things started to crack. They weren't ignorant guys, understanding very well that Max's job was important, and that their mother wasn't human, but that didn't mean it couldn't get tiring or...lonely. Max wasn't home very often, far into space battling aliens, and while that stuff was interesting, Carl and Frank didn't really have any interest in following their father's footsteps into the alien world, not right now at least. They liked earth, they liked humans, they liked things being simple and small.

It also didn't help that over the years, Verdona was going distant. She didn't mean to, and she still loved her boys, but...earth was just losing its spark to her, that excitement she fell in love with years ago. Max and her, while they loved each other, seemed to be growing apart, as both couldn't offer what the other wanted, and yet neither was angry at the other and understood this very well, through long talks and peaceful moments together. And as her boys grew, Verdona didn't know how to connect with them anymore, especially since they wanted everyday human lives.

When they were little kids, they use to love Verdona's magic and abilities. She uses to create sparkly balls of light to swirl around them like a mobile to help them sleep, or some nights she would fly them high into the skies to show them the stars. She would share stories about space, other planets and all the aliens she had met, and they would always notice that glint of longing in her eyes. She wouldn't lie, as she did miss those free days up high in space, using her magic to shine brightly across the galaxy.

But she still couldn't get a grasp on the way of a normal human life. She didn't know how to talk to the other mums at school, she didn't know how to be engaged with her children's graduations and celebrations when they were nothing like the fets that Anodites could create, she didn't know how to...be human for them. She had the mask, but she didn't have the soul for it.

And her children did try to connect with her on magic, but without that spark or very least magical aura, they couldn't. Frank even tried to learn magic at one point, after his mum took an interest in the fact he was often able to sense her when she was nearby. Frank use to delve into his mother's spellbooks she had lying around, doing everything he could to be like her, just to make her happy...But he couldn't. Even if this lead to his love of knowledge and reading, magic just wasn't something he could access.

And yet, Verdona stayed. She loves them, she really did, and she wanted to be there for as long as she could. But it wasn't easy, as each day, that urge to fly around back home grew stronger and stronger. That desire to finally connect with someone like her again was always in the back of her mind. Max, Frank and Carl all knew this too, it was easy to tell just by looking into Verdonas eyes, and while they all understood in their own way, especially Max, that didn't mean it hurt that not only did they feel like they were forcing Verdona to stay, but also that she wanted to leave.

Max never resented Verdona for this, though sadly Frank and Carl did feel hurt, upset, deep down feeling like they weren't good enough for their parents, despite how often the two did try and show their love. The family felt divided, as while they wanted to support and love each other, each person wanted something different that the others could not provide.

So while trying to figure out their parent problem, Carl and Frank sunk into their regular human school lives as a way to get away from all the alien stuff. Frank did so by delving into the academic side of things, getting excellent grades, pitching ideas to help the school, and eventually applying to be student president. This is, in fact, how he met Natalie, as she too was running to be student president and was kind of his rival in being the top student. However, it was never a hateful rivalry, as the two were very civil, and it was no surprise when they started showing interest and began dating one day, deciding to be co-presidents.

Carl, on the other hand, jump around every kind of hobby and school-related topic. He was struggling trying to settle into one space, and often built up a lot of stress. Because of this, his mother and brother suggested he try some relaxing activities before hurting himself with stress, and he reluctantly agreed to join a yoga group run by a young girl from another school, who was actually Sandra. It didn't take long for Carl to become a flustering mess around her, finding her to be beautiful, kind and funny, a combo that would make any young teenage boy become a bumbling mess. Luckily for them, she found him charming, and the two started dating.

So, despite their issues at human, the two brothers were heading in a nice direction in their normal lives, even if their parents struggled to keep notice of all the changes and growth. But something was bound to happen, and it all came to a head when the boys graduated at the age of 18.

A dinner was held as a celebration, with other Tennyson families, and Natalie and Sandra were invited. At first, the night went smoothly, Verdona and Max clearly proud of their sons, and Frank and Carl were thankful to have support. But...one thing led to another that night, and some emotions and build up thoughts were finally revealed between, Carl, Frank, Verdona and Max. No one can quite remember how the argument started, perhaps when Max made a subtle reference to his secret job, or perhaps when Frank made a comment on Verdonas old spellbook.

Frank and Carl explained just how much they were frustrated and angry with their parents, stating how hard it was growing up trying to be normal, while knowing this big secret in their family life that no one in the world is supposed to know. They understood why Verdona and Max were the way they were, but that didn't excuse their behaviours and how Frank and Carl felt about the whole thing. Max and Verdona did argue back, understanding why the boys were hurt, but Verdona can't help what and who she is, and that Max's job, while not easy to live with, is important for a reason...Either way, both sides had something to say that night, with Carl and Frank having to now explain to their girlfriends about aliens and such.

So when their graduation day came, things were awkward in the air, with Carl and Frank avoiding their parents, one even making a comment to Verdona that if she really wants to...she can leave, and they wouldn't stop her. And it stun, and made Verdona step back to think about things, taking an entire night to process what to do next.

She felt that there was no good with her staying, only hurting her sons more just by being there, reminding them of the things they don't like about their lives. And deep down...Verdona knew she didn't want to stay any longer. She missed her home, she missed the galaxy, she missed magic, she missed having not to pretend to be an alien she wasn't. She was tired of hiding and lying to herself. It didn't help that, every time she looked at Max, he was ageing, while she wasn't. She couldn't grow old like a human, she couldn't be the mother her sons needed, she couldn't be what the family wanted, even with all the power she had. She had failed them all.

So one day, she left. She gave Max, Frank and Carl each a letter explaining herself, telling them that she loves them, but for the better, she had to leave, for their sakes and her sake. For the next few months, even a year or two, the family was foggy, distant, unsure how to think or feel. In some ways, yes, they agree Verdona leaving may have been the better option, but that doesn't mean they don't love her and miss her. And while she wasn't gone for good, visiting from time to time, like on birthdays or sometimes holidays, things just weren't the same ever again.

While Max still loved Verdona, he was wise enough to know that things change, finding love with a few others, like Xylene, and eventually deciding to retire when the time was right. And while his bond with his sons may always be a little off, he does still try and connect with them now, and they do give him a chance, even if they don't know how to feel sometimes.

Max knows he lost his chance to be a proper family with his sons, but when his grandkids came around, he realised he could at least be the grandfather they needed. And while Frank and Carl still have issues with their father, they can appreciate that he makes their grandkids happy, especially when guiding and protecting Gwen and Ben through the alien world they want to explore.

#Here is what I promised #Ben 101 AU #Ben 101 Rewrite #Ben 10 #ben 10 rewrite #Ben 10 AU #B10 #ben 10 original series #ben 10 alien force #ben 10 ultimate alien #ben 10 omniverse #Ben 10 Verdona #Ben 10 Max Tennyson #Ben 10 Frank Tennyson #Ben 10 Carl Tennyson #Ben 10 Sandra Tennyson #Ben 10 Natalie Tennyson

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crewhonk · 5 years

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Of The Line (9)

Summary: YN comes home and begins to make right

Words: 3.6K

Warnings: drinking, crying, working through offence, the Lagos incident

Till The End Masterlist / Of The Line Masterlist

Songs: “Arms Unfolding”- Dodie (particularily ‘i apologise but it was only self defence, running away just made sense’ and ‘But here I am with arms unfolding, guess it isn’t quite the end,  Oh, partner in crime, I am going to try,  To fall in love with you again’)/ “Heart of Stone”- Natalie Paris (six; the musical)

____________________

The ride home was soothing— the hum of the jet engines calming YN down to her bones and making her heart slow for the first time in months. The heavy weight of depression, and anxiety, and paranoia melted off of her the longer she sat in one of the jet booths and snacked on a Tupperware bin of nutritious food Giovanna knew she would need.

“I know what you get like when you feel this way,” she had said sliding the bin over to her. She almost moaned at the sight of fruit and veggies and cottage cheese waiting for her.

“Like what?”

“Well— self-destructive.” She replied and YN smiled a shadow of her former smile, the guilt of what she had done one of the last things weighing her down from holding herself with pride like she once had.

“I’m going to be apologizing for running from you for the rest of my life, you know that, right?” YN said, walking with Giovanna and slowly joining her in the cockpit. She didn’t need to be there, but it sent a thrill down her spine to watch the compound come into view. There were a handful of dots on the landing pad, and YN was filled with nerves once more at the thought of facing the people she had left behind.

“I know. You don’t need to— I know you’re going to be safe, now. I’m going to say one thing though.” Giovanna said, engaging the landing gear.

“What?”

“I’m never leaving you alone, again.”

________________________

Natasha had been the first to greet her— the smaller woman running headlong into YN’s arms and burying her face into her neck, letting out a cry full of emotion and digging her nails into her shoulders as if YN would once again disappear from her again. Natasha, never the one for sentiment, pulled away, wiping her eyes hurriedly and smiling brightly. Like Giovanna, she had seemed aged around the corners of her eyes, and YN felt a sudden pang of remorse for her actions.

“I’m happy you’re home, Lamb.”

Wanda was next, hugging her more gently than Natasha had, but with the same sense of need. YN had become one of the leading influences in Wanda’s new life, and if her father was here, Bruce would have said Wanda had everything but imprinted on YN. YN pulled away, and as Wanda opened her mouth, YN offered her a kind smile and said;

“Don’t apologize. There’s no need for that foolishness, okay, Wan? I’m not leaving you anytime soon… again.” Wanda smiled back and kissed YN’s cheeks before letting Tony push past and wrap himself around YN. She felt his lips press to the shell of her ear, and in the warmest voice she had ever heard him use, said,

“You just needed to talk to us, Bug. We will always be here with you.” He murmured and YN hugged him tighter— now that Bruce was gone, this was the closest father figure to her now, and she felt herself leaning into that notion.

“I know that now, Thanks, Uncle Tony.”

YN let go of Tony, then and with a jolt, realized the last person on the landing pad was none other than the reason she had left. Steve looked wrecked— violet bruising under his eyes and heavy creases in his brow. There was an unfamiliar downturn to the corners of his lips, and she could tell by the way he kept swallowing quickly that his heartfelt as if it were in his throat. She knew because she felt the same way.

YN wasn’t ready to reconcile with him yet, though and with a forlorn, half apologetic expression, she followed Giovanna into the compound, feeling her heart drop from her throat and down into the pits of her stomach.

She knew he felt the same way.

_______________________

ONE WEEK LATER

Giovanna jumped for the third time in a quarter of an hour, due to YN slamming her tools and notepads onto the counter and stomping around like a teenager who had just had her phone taken away.

“Bitch, stop slamming tools around you’re going to scare Smart A55.” She said, sharply but quietly. If she was right about what YN was angry about, she had every right to be annoyed with her best friend.

“Who?” YN’s head shot to Giovanna, who pointed over her shoulder with her thumb to a medium-sized globe with legs seemingly charging in the corner of the room.

“What the hell is that?” YN asked, half amazed as she walked over to the robot. The shell was smooth, and it seemed to be running entirely from the new reactor core Giovanna had shown her once YN had settled in.

“I needed to distract myself when you were gone so I made our new personal assistant. It felt weird having FRIDAY make us— me coffee and bringing it to here, so I made Smart A55. One of her legs is a little slower than the rest of them and she falls asleep really often, but she’s cute.”

“She really is. She matches your suit armour.”

“I know, now, why are you slamming my shit around?”

There was a pause of silence where YN refused to look up at Giovanna, and when she did, she was met with the infamous Stark Stare.

“Steve has no right to be this grumpy all the time, okay?” YN snapped, and Giovanna sat at the table in a spinning stool, leaning on the counter swaying back and forth listening to YN with an impassive expression.

“You’ve forgiven me as far as I know. So has Nat and Wanda and Sam and Tony.” Giovanna nodded and waited for YN to continue her rant.

“Steve has no right to be in the gym at 3 am running and breaking punching bags like he’s the one who had his heartbroken.” She finished her small rant and was immediately offended to find Giovanna laughing at her— head thrown back and hands on her stomach.

“What.” YN snapped and Giovanna stopped laughing, immediately glaring YN down and slamming her tools down to make a point.

“You broke his heart too, YN. You left him. You left us, and it left a gaping hole in our family. You’ve always undersold your part in our lives, but you’re like the distant family cat— completely necessary and everyone has their day made when you even pay the smallest of attention to them. You haven’t been doing that to him, and it’s driving him literally insane.” She explained and watched as the red of YN’s cheeks was slowly replaced with green once more.

“So, you’re taking his side?”

“No, I’m on your side, but you need to know that you were the one that left. He said no, but you disappeared.” Giovanna said carefully and YN’s eyes fluttered weakly before she slouched in her chair and stared at the table. Giovanna was right, and they both knew it.

“I’m sorry for snapping. And leaving.” YN mumbled, and looked up when Smart A55 limped over to her and opened the compartment no the top of her… head? There was a collection of donuts in there, and YN looked up at Giovanna who was watching her with a sad smile.

“Take one.” She hummed, reaching for the tool YN had been holding in her hand. YN looked down, picked out a Boston Cream Pie, and smiled softly.

“And like I said, I’ve forgiven you.”

___________________

She lay in the bed she shared with Giovanna— her best friend had everything but moved into her room since YN had come home. The tells of her presence were in her clothes spread over her best friends room and the ever-present feeling of Giovanna snoring loudly beside her.

For such a small person, Giovanna sure liked to spread herself as far as she could and be as loud as she was able. She was currently spread eagle and diagonal, her head on YN’s stomach as she snored to the high heavens. Good thing she was cute, huh?

It wasn’t because of her best friend that YN couldn’t sleep— no. It was because of her either of them ever got any sleep since she got back. Since YN had returned to the compound, the girls' nightmares had increased tenfold, but only happened when they weren’t together. When they tried to sleep apart, nightmares would wake the other, and it was more often than not that they just decided it would be better for not only them but everyone in the tower if they were able to sleep soundly.

But, what Giovanna had said to her earlier in the day was still with her, crushing her chest and preventing her from taking a deep breath. So, she got up. She moved gently from Giovanna who only grunted and rolled over, pulling YN’s pillow to her chest and sighing. YN’s heart swelled at the sight and she pulled a sweater over her head and sneakers on her feet, leaving the room.

It had taken a while to find him. First, she checked his room. She unlocked it in surprise— he had kept her security clearance, and the thought of him waiting for her to walk into his room but never showing up could have brought tears to her eyes. The room was still generally impersonal— nothing more than what Tony had furnished, but two picture frames on his side of the bed. One, of him and Bucky during the war— beaming smiles as Steve caught his best friend in a headlock. The second was the picture from her room of them at Disneyland, and YN only cleared the lump from her throat and continued her search.

Then, she checked the gym and when she found nothing but a torn punching bag shoved in the corner, she knew where Steve would be.

The breeze on the roof of the compound was chilly, but comforting, caressing her cheeks softly and blowing her loose hair from her shoulders. He was there, his form silhouetted by the moonlight, and he appeared to be leaning against the railing, hunched over and head hung low. She walked to him, leaning beside him on the railing and tried to stop her head breaking when she saw a familiar Asgardian bottle in his hands. It wasn’t too empty, so he wouldn’t be too gone.

There was a period of quiet between the two when she mumbled, “I’m sorry, Steve. For everything. I hope one day you can forgive me.”

And then she turned to go. Just as she was about to take her fifth step away from him, Steve’s hoarse voice piped up.

“No. Please, stay.” His voice sounded thick and tired and weak and it shattered YN to her bones when she realized he sounded like he’d been crying. She wiggled her fingers against her palms and the started back, leaning beside him and staring out over the field and dark tree line.

He offered her the bottle, but she rose a hand to stop him, smiling bitterly.

“Drank enough when I was away, I’m taking a break. Thanks, though.” There was no return of malicious laughter, but a sad, forlorn sigh.

“I thought I’d stop when you came home, but I don’t think you really came back, did you? Not home to me anyways,” He whispered, and YN felt tears spring to her eyes. She grabbed his arm, and he finally looked up at her, eyes red-rimmed and puffy, but even in the darkness, so, so blue.

“I’m never going to stop being sorry about that, Steve.” She said, voice strong. He only shook his head and stared back at his hands, jaw clenched. He was hurting. Really hurting and it was because of her.

“Why’d you do it? I have to know, YN.”

“I was scared, I think. Scared of you leaving me and in some twisted way, I thought that if I left first, it would hurt less.”

“Did it?”

“No,” She whispered and he looked up at her, eyes serious. He stood to his full height then, one hand occupied by the bottle in his hand, but his other hand rose and twitched as if hesitating. Instead of waiting for him to make a decision, she grabbed his wrist and pulled it put to cradle her cheek.

“I would never hurt you on purpose, YN.”

“I know.”

“And you know I would never leave you. Not in the way I know you think I will.”

“I know.”

“Do you?”

“I know I overreacted, and I’m sorry. I know now that you never intended on leaving me. I thought I’d be able to get ahead of the curve if—“ She was cut off of her repetition by Steve, thankfully.

“You left first” Less thankfully, maybe.

“Yeah,” She paused and leaned into his touch which was hot against her cheek. His heart seemed to bump for the first time in three months— a sign, good or bad, he wasn’t sure, but a bump all the same. A bump for her.

“You never said it back, you know.” She whispered and he squinted down at her in confusion.

“Said what back?”

“What I told you that night.” Steve’s eyelids fluttered suddenly, the taste of ‘i love you’ on his tongue and lips. The same fuzzy feeling he had when she first kissed him began to spread from his contact with her up his fingertips— slowly, as if the bright yellow feeling of being with YN was slowly dripping back into him like paint.

“Right. I— it didn’t seem like the right occasion for something that big. I wanted to do it right. Make it right for you.” He watched her expression, and the yellow feeling in his bones seemed to grow a little brighter when he watched warmth flood her face. From grey to orange, he could feel himself coming back. Slowly— not all at once, like he thought it would be, but this was okay too.

“When is the right occasion then?” She whispered and seemed to lean in closer. The cool crystal of the bottle in his palm warned him not to do what he wanted. Instead, he leaned in and pressed his hot lips to her forehead, lingering for longer than acceptable between two friends and resting his forehead against her hairline.

“I can promise you right now, that it’ll happen sooner than later. Goodnight, YN.” He whispered, backing away and only turning when he needed to open the door to the stairs. The door closed with an echoing ‘thud’, and YN was left alone on the roof— less angry than she had been in months, and beautifully, wonderfully alone.

_________________________ THE NEXT DAY

It had happened all too suddenly— one minute the team was all around the table, trying to throw grapes into each other's mouths and then Steve’s phone went off and he shot up from the table.

“Rumlow’s been spotted. And he’s not hiding. Sam, Natasha, Wanda, suit up.” His ‘Captain’ voice rang across the kitchen and the people he called stood and immediately went their own ways— they only had about ten minutes before they needed to leave. Steve got up from the table as well, but not without YN rising with him, much to the shock of everyone else remaining.

No words were exchanged between Steve and YN as she followed him to his office until she closed the door behind them.

“Why isn’t anyone else going with you?” She asked, and he opened the wardrobe doors in the corner of the room, revealing his suit. He looked up at her with a look of tired fondness.

“Why aren’t you coming with me, you mean.” He stated and pulled the suit from the hanger, laying it out on the table and walking over to YN.

“Maybe,” She grumbled as he came to stand toe to toe with her. His hand slid up her arm slowly, calloused fingertips gliding over the soft muscle. YN’s cheeks warmed and her breath caught in her throat when she looked to meet his intense gaze.

“I’d like it to be something other than the fact that we aren’t a team, right now but— I can’t have you there. I need to focus on getting Rumlow and I can’t— I can’t focus when you’re around.” His voice was low and YN could have trembled as his breath ghosted over her face.

“You were fine in Sokovia.”

“Trust me, I could have done a lot more if you weren’t there.” He smiled and she faked offense.

“Ouch!”

“No— not like that. I want to protect you, YN— I always have and it’s half the reason why I haven’t— we haven’t—“

“I know, Stevie. The right moment, right?”

“Soon, Sweetheart.”

“Okay. Be safe. Come home.”

“Always."

_________________________

The incidence in Lagos was everywhere YN and Giovanna looked in the compound, safe with Tony and watching the news in horror together. Nothing seemed real until a helicopter shot panned down to Steve in combat with a man brutally scarred and armour covered in skulls.

“Rumlow. That’s— that’s Rumlow.” Giovanna mumbled, fear-stricken. She had had issues with him in Rumlow and before that, and seeing him scarred and angry felt relieving. The sense of relief was overcome with guilt, however, as YN knew she was still a person, but upon looking over and seeing Giovanna shaking against the pillow in her arms allowed for the guilt to leave her body.

She looked back to the newscast just in time to see a fiery explosion take out one of the sides of the building, and before YN could get a visual on Steve, the news footage cut out and cut back to the shocked news reporters.

“We’ll be back with an update.” Said the male reporter, as the woman seemed to shell shocked as a result of the first question on everyone's lips.

Was Captain America Alive?

________________________

“Gio— I can’t— Oh, my God,” YN panted, pacing in front of the couch. Tony had been almost immediately whisked away with a series of phone calls from important people, and it left the two girls to wait in bated breath for any news.

“YN— what’s going on,” Giovanna asked, and while YN knew what she was asking, her temper flared.

“Steve could be dead! That’s what’s going on, okay?” She half-shouted, her shortness of breath stopping her from saying much else. Despite the situation, the smallest smirk spread over Giovanna’s face.

“I thought you were mad at him? Like unforgivably mad at him?”

YN’s eyes flicked up to Giovanna and she immediately knew that she knew vaguely of what happened the night they shared two days ago.

“I— we talked. Everything is going to be okay— or was, I don’t know.” She whimpered and felt her eyes well with panicked tears. “He said he was going to make a move soon— but now— God, that’s so fucking selfish of me, but— I need him, Gio. Not because I lo— because he’s my second best friend.” Giovanna’s eyes softened the more YN talked and she found herself standing in front of her without thinking.

“YN, you’re having a panic attack. Everything is going to be okay. You’re going to be okay. Steve is probably fine— you know how stubborn that man is more than anyone else alive.” Giovanna whispered, and YN’s face crumpled as it fell onto her shoulder.

“He’s going to be okay, YN.”

________________________

Tony, Giovanna, and YN didn’t hear anything until FRIDAY informed them that the jet had landed. She said nothing more.

YN took off, sprinting down the hallways to the hangar, and watching the jet touch the ground, the ramp opening seconds later. Sam and Natasha came out first, followed by a sobbing Wanda and then, looking dirty, bruised and exhausted, Steve.

YN let out a cry when she saw him and took off at a jog that picked up to a run in his direction. His foggy gaze landed on her, and he dropped his duffel bag just in time to catch her in his arms. Her weight against him was solid— unlike what she had been months ago when she returned, and he stumbled a bit at her impact— not because of her, but her thighs and knees seemed keen on wrapping themselves over his (no longer broken) cracked ribs.

Her nose was buried in the crook of his neck, and her nails dug into the kevlar of his suit, and even then, he could feel her shaking.

“You idiot. Why did you do that, why— why didn’t you call me. Fuck, Steven.” She whimpered into his neck and without acknowledging the shocked expressions of the team, started walking towards the med bay doors with her in his arms.

“Had to save the day, didn’t I?” He muttered and she pulled back, holding his face in her hands as she let out a wet giggle.

“You did, Doofus. Are you hurt?”

“Shattered my ribs on a fall, but they’re fine now.” He watched her expression turn from exasperated amusement to genuine horror. She started unraveling herself from his waist, but he let out a noise of protest.

“I don’t want to hurt you, Steve.”

“You are most certainly not hurting me, Sweetheart, I promise.” _________________________

THE NEXT DAY

YN had to get out of the room, so when she was granted an opportunity to do so, she took it before anyone else could open their mouth. She saw the way he looked at her with disdain— being a halfbreed government fugitive for the majority of your life would have any government official less than keen on being civil to you.

The walk down the hallway was too quick in her opinion, she needed more time to prepare herself for the expression she knew she would see on Steve and Wanda’s faces. However, the soft violet doorway came up on YN too quickly and suddenly, and she knocked twice before poking her head into the door.

“Guys, I’m sorry. I know you’re both exhausted but… The Secretary of State is here, and he wants to talk to us.”

_________________________

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