Foreigner-class Servants based on how tasty I think they are
Abby: 2/10 puritan diet probably makes for a lean and tough meat
Hokusai (The father): 9/10 chewy :> an actual octopus, I wonder if his insides are also of octopus or if it's a bag of human organs compressed into the shape of an octopus. 10/10 if so, cause the pop would be as satisfying as one of those half-boiled eggs where the yolk is still melty and you managed to pierce it just right in your mouth
Hokusai/Oui (The daughter): 1/10 have you seen how thin her limbs are? Atrocious lifestyle choices too (I'm not eating her until she's taken a shower)
Mysterious Heroine XX: 8/10 active lifestyle, eat a lot of delicious junk food herself, those thighs are thicc
Yang Guifei: 7/10 chubby, life of luxury, already seasoned with some spicy burn
Voyager: 0/10 this is metal. You're trying to get me to eat metal bundled in a scrawny boy's skin. No.
Abby (Summer): 6/10 still as scrawny as her regular self, but all those sugary pancakes have to amount to something
Van Gogh: 10/10 I want to eat her. I wonder if her meat's closer to plant or animal? If it's plant, it probably changes textures based on her emotional state, turning crunchier the hornier she is, like from an onion to a good apple. If it's more animal/human-like, it would probably smell a lot like fish or the ocean's saltwater, mixed with some spice from all the void stuff. I want to suck on her fingers like it's chicken wings. I want to eat her feet chilled like sashimi. I want to eat her I want to eat her I want to eat her I want ot eat her
Mysterious Idol X Alter: 9/10 being an idol is a lot of activity, and her diet of sugary snacks probably makes for a lot of fat
Molay: 7/10 I like lamb meat. She probably tastes like spicy lamb. I'll eat it.
Dark Koyan: 9/10 the best damn steak in the entire world
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Top 5 Fate blorbos NOT including Limbo.
this one made me laugh bc like, yeah limbo is my special little princess but also he is one of my many special little princesses, like i love limbo but im not The Limbo Guy, if that makes sense (i have many guys)
That said there are simply too many fate blorbos i have and no easy way to list them in a perfectly objective top 5, so I shall do something fun instead, listing them in tiers. As expected, the list expands as it goes on (not every servant listed obvs)
5. Characters who I am passively aware of. This is for characters who are somewhat relevant enough for me to like. think about
Gilles Saber, Caesar, Paris Hektor, Circe, Lu Bu, Spartacus, Eric Bloodaxe
4. Characters who I have a light inclination towards. Maybe they were useful for farming or I read their profiles and was satisfied
Jason, Billy The Kid, Oda Nobukatsu, , Tristan, William Tell, Medusa Lily, Janta Lily, Tawaru, Achilles, Wu Zetian, Cleopatra, Darius III, Kiyohime
3. Characters who I just like. I look at them and go "its the guy :)"
Senji Muramasa, Fergus, Robin Hood, Leonidas, Enkidu, Nezha, Anne-Bonny & Mary Read, Bartholomew Roberts, Red Hare, Scheherazade, Anastasia, Kyokutei Bakin, Charles-Henri Sanson, Assassin Emiya/Kerry, Ushiwakamaru, Gray, Huyan Zhuo, Penthesilea, Kijyo Koyo, Asterios
2. Characters who I love. This one is a substantial jump upwards in quality and they only have like 1-2 things missing (to me) that prevent them from being numero uno
Altera, Bedivere, Okita, Beni Enma, Sigurd, Saito Hajime, Artemis-Orion, Emiya, Atalante, Baobhan Sith, Cu Chulainn, Romulus (and Quirinus), Caenis, Vritra, Melusine, Boudica, Marie Antionette, Mandricardo, Habetrot, Dobrynya Nikitich, Hans Christian Andersen, Mata Hari, Charlotte Corday, Katou Danzo, Koyanskaya of the Light, Tezcatlipoca, Sen no Rikyu, Kriemhild, Koyanskaya of Darkness
My special little princesses. Play this song while reading
Mash Kyrielight number one forever, saber classes artoria pendragon nero claudius siegfried void shiki miyamoto musashi ibuki douji barghest archer classes david arjuna oda nobunaga artoria pendragon archer swimsuit james moriarty tomoe gozen calamity jane nightingale santa sei shounagon zenobia lancer class scathach artoria pendragon lancer artoria pendragon lancer alter brynhildr tamamo no mae lancer minamoto no raikou lancer swimsuit ereshikigal elizabeth bathory rider class medusa francis drake artoria pendragon santa alter astolfo sakata kintoki rider quetzalcoatl artoria pendragon rider alter swimsuit leonardo da vinci rider murasaki shikubu rider swimsuit caster class mephistopheles cu chulainn caster tamamo no mae nursery rhyme helena blavatsky xuanzang sazang nero claudius swimsuit nitocris leonardo da vinci shuten douji caster ascelpius chen gong artoria caster assassin class phantom of the opera jack the ripper mysterious heroine x ryougi shiki assassin shuten douji scathach assassin first hassan nitocris assassin osakabehime okada izo yu mei-ren kama berserker class sakata kintoki vlad III caligula tamamo cat nightingale cu chulainn alter minamoto no raikou mysterious heroine x alter hijikata toshizo atalante alter jeanne d'arc alter berserker swimsuit xiang yu arjuna alter mori nagayoshi salome miyamoto musashi swimsuit brynhildr swimsuit morgan sei shounagon swimsuit ibuki douji swimsuit ruler class jeanne d'arc saint martha swimsuit sherlock holmes qin shi huang quetzalcoatl samba santa artoria pendragon swimsuit ruler himiko leonardo da vinci swimsuit james moriarty lily iyo avenger class edmond dantes jeanne d'arc alter angra mainyu gorgon antonio salieri demon king oda nobunaga space ishtar kama avenger swimsuit nitocris alter alter ego class meltryllis passionlip sessyoin kiara okita souji alter ashiya douman xu fu larva tiamat mooncancer class bb bb summer sessyoin kiara swimsuit archetype earth foreigner class abigail williams katsushika hokusai mysterious heroine xx voyager van gogh mysterious idol x alter kukulkan pretender class oberon beast class draco nero
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Mysterious Idol X (Alter)
Mashu Kyrielight: Bright Voyager
Helena Blavatsky: That is Very Mahatma~!☆
Altera: Stardust in the Palm
Nitocris: Beyond the Mirror
Medb: Hero My Love: My Dear Antagonist
Hassan of the Serenity: Poisonous Flower Blooming at Night
Tamamo Cat: Smiling Face glory day
Euryale: mirage
Shuten Dōji: The Song of Cherry Blossoms in Full Glory
Jeanne d'Arc: Prove
Ushiwakamaru: Psychedelic Tale of Seperation
Nero Claudius: Rapsodia the Barbarian Lady of the High Storm
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Other people:
*cries of joy over Idol X Alter*
Me:
If you think about it the fact that she's a foreigner now means that she only has class advantage against berserkers and the fact that she's a mysterious heroine variation means she's inexplicably prone to attacking saberfaces
found some inspiration for this edit thanks to an exchange with a buddy earlier today:
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